#// damn i had a lot more to say about this than i thought-

[writerwrabbleswords]

Bongos (but male) (part 2) THANKSGIVING SPECIAL | Logan Howlett X [DILF] Reader

He didn't mind waking up early... This time.

Quick Notes :  Enjoy this thanksgiving special between Logan and DILF! Reader! As a direct continuation of the original ‘Bongos (but male)’ oneshot, I decided to expand a bit more on Reader as well as Logan’s relationship with Reader. Please ignore any spelling mistakes, as I wrote this very early in the morning.

  Story Notes :  1400 words or so, Dilf! Reader referred to as ‘You/Your,’ Reader has twins, Readers children are animal mutants (bear), Readers children are named ‘Jett’ and ‘Hogan,’ Reader is about forty to forty-five, Logan is whipped for Reader, Reader knows how to cook, Reader’s clothes are lightly described, Logan keeps ogling reader, and lastly, lots of fluff and cute moments.

 Logan didn’t want to be awake at seven o’clock in the morning. He preferred to sleep in until noon (or later, if he could get away with it), which meant any time before that left him grumpier than usual. Most of the kids at the institute knew to leave him alone until he’s up on his own, bothering Scott or Hank rather than risk listening to him threaten them. 

  A grumble left the mutant, who ran a hand down his face in irritation; what the hell woke him up? He threw his legs over the side of the bed, a prominent scowl on his face as he glared daggers at the wall. The thought of going back to bed ran through his head, but he was stopped by the sudden smell of food. 

 As much as he wanted to say fuck it, Logan found himself standing up and throwing on a shirt - whatever he could reach - before running a hand through his hair. It smelled like cranberries, shallots, and sweet potatoes. With a deep sigh, he exited his room and made his way towards the kitchen, mumbling complaints to himself the whole way. 

  When he finally entered the institute kitchen, he paused upon seeing you. He hadn’t had a chance to really talk to you since that night a month or two prior, and here you were, sleeves rolled up as you cooked. It made Logan’s mouth water - and it wasn’t because of the food.

  “Morning,” You called out, dragging the man from his thoughts as he blinked, “You wanna’ help?”

  Logans’ scowl had softened considerably, his mood shifting as he shook his head in amusement. Of course you’d be asking him to help with… whatever you were making. He took in the sight of the kitchen; the counters were full of different foods, trays, and utensils, a pot on the stove bubbling as cranberries popped and turned the water red.

  “What’s the occasion?” He asked in return, stepping closer as his eyes roamed your form. You were like a damn treat, dressed in a turtleneck and those slacks he’d seen you in months earlier - the ones that hugged your ass. 

  The mutant let his eyes raise to your face, where your gaze was fixed firmly on him, a charming smile in place with a raised brow. If you could read his thoughts, Logan might just be embarrassed. Maybe. 

 He felt his heart thump at the chuckle you let out, your focus returning to the glass dish of whatever you were making.

  “It’s thanksgiving, Howlett,” You rumbled, amusement coating your words like a damn oil spill.

  The way you said his last name near made his legs weak, and the olders’ mind immediately supplied instances where you’d be saying it in an entirely different way. Those lips parted, eyes closed in pleasure as his hands roamed your-

  He was cut off from his daydream by the sound of feet pattering against the floor, giggles echoing down the halls as two rambunctious children entered the kitchen, their ears twitching as they latched onto your legs.

  “Papa!” Jett called out, his tail twitching as he peered between you and him, “Want berry! Give berry!”

  Right; the twins were bear mutants. Berries were probably one of the few fruits you could get them to eat.

  Despite himself, Logan let a small smile tug at his lips, the expression softening the hard lines of his face as he shook his head. How you dealt with twins, he’d never know. In that moment, however, the mutant let himself simply enjoy your presence.

 His smile grew when you rolled your eyes, your hands dipping into the pot of water as you plucked out two unpopped cranberries. It was clear in your every movement that you loved the boys, letting your hands drop down to press the cranberries into the twins’ mouths. Hogan let out a pleased hum, smacking on the berry with his mouth open as Jett munched on his own. Despite it being rather gross, Logan felt a fondness rise in his chest. 

  The feeling left him feeling off kilter; he didn’t like kids, and yet here he was, thinking about what it’d be like to raise the bear cubs as his own. What a world it was, if he was here with you.

  “I’ve still got to make the turkey stuffing. You know how, Logan?” 

  Your words brought the man from his thoughts, his eyes raising from the two boys as they met your own. Turkey stuffing. He felt a grimace rise to his face - that shit was disgusting. 

  “I know how,” He grumbled, shaking his head in annoyance before he stepped forward, approaching the sink, “don’t like it, though.”

  A laugh left you, the sound suddenly making up for whatever disgusting food you wanted him to make. If he was doing it with you, he found he didn’t mind it as much as he usually would.

  There were growls from the two latched onto your legs, the bear cubs swiping at one another with furrowed brows and angry pouts, drawing his focus for a brief moment. They were cute, Logan admitted begrudgingly, though he kept the thought to himself, unwilling to admit it. Kids were normally a pain in his ass, but Jett and Hogan weren’t as bad as the rest (he ignored that his reasoning was because they were your kids).

  A silence fell over the kitchen, the bear cubs eventually letting go of your legs and running off to, likely, go cause mischief for any other adult awake. You would occasionally look over at him, giving him that smile that made the crows feet by your eyes more noticeable. Each glance sent his way made Logans’ heart beat just a bit faster, and little by little, he found himself loosening up. 

 By the time noon rolled around, he was laughing along to your stories and shaking his head at every stupid dad joke you made. The mutant felt… at home, which was a stupid thing to admit considering he was living at the institute and hadn’t known you for longer than eight hours total. You just had that effect on him - made him feel like he belonged. He didn’t know if that was because he had the hots for you, or if it was just that you were a dad. Logan found he didn’t care about why you made him feel that way; he cared that you did.

  Most classes were out for the day considering it was a holiday, but he knew Rogue and Remy were running a few danger room drills. When one o’clock hit, most of the X-Men had joined you and him in the kitchen, laughter and conversations filling the air with a pleasant atmosphere. For once, he was annoyed with Scott; for once, he didn’t care that Jean was in the room. His attention was on you, not her.

 That stupid crush he’d had on the woman faded into the background, the sight of you cooking with ease and going along with every joke drawing his focus instead. Logan wanted more - more than just a quick fling - more than a one-off thing. He wanted to know you, wanted to wake up with you in his arms. 

  “You know, for a dad, you’ve pulled this off,” He mumbled to you once you’d taken a break from making food, your gaze on one of the many windows and the sun that was slowly sinking.

  The smile you gave him - with that stupidly attractive laugh - made his heart do flips.

  “Figured I should pull my weight,” came your reply, your words light and full of good humor, “Since you folks are caring for my boys.”

  Your eyes were looking outside, but Logans’ attention was only on you,

  “They’re good kids.”

  It fell quiet, the silence comfortable but full of an unmistakable tension. Finally, after what seemed like forever, you turned to look at him,

  “Thanks.” You gave him a look - he didn’t know how to explain it - a look of thoughts and consideration, “For helping.”

  Instead of brushing off your gratitude, something he was well known for doing, Logan shrugged, crossing his arms as he looked out the window,

  “No reason not to.” 

  He grumbled in return.

  “Well, I appreciate it,” He felt his heart thump when you stepped closer to him, his gaze tearing away from outside as he watched you, “A lot.”

  Logan felt himself freeze, the sudden realization of how close you were making his head spin in that funny way only you knew how to do. You stepped closer still, one of your hands reaching out to rest on his arm. He didn’t know how to respond other than a shaky exhale.

 When you leaned closer, barely a foot away from him, the sudden pounding of feet on the floor made you pull away; the bear cubs.

  Damn kids.

[dangermousie]

I love the ending

she tracks him down to the argan group nutters (long story) and is all yelling at him to be with her etc and then rescues him from drowning (aka his actual nightmare came true but she saved him) and then

"…Bai Siyan is gone." Drops of water dripped heavily from the end of his hair. "The real Bai Siyan, that is, my damn nephew, is gone. I brought that bastard here." "……!" The omitted words contained a lot of information. It was possible to understand his determination to bring the kidnappers here in the hail of bullets. "So I am nothing. There is no name or family to package me. I was adopted and raised by the owner of a fishing ground, and I hate humans." For the first time, she saw his true face clearly. "Nothing is allowed, no qualifications, this is my true identity." No longer that handsome elite, no longer the only son of a political family, no longer the spokesman of the Blue House, but just a man soaked all over. "Love at first sight." Hee Joo used all her strength to gently hit his arm. "I… at that time, I saw you crying…" She suddenly wiped the corners of her eyes that were about to get hot. What made her happier than being alive and well was that she still had the chance to express her true feelings to this man. "I fell in love at first sight when I was nine years old." "……!" "Twenty years. For twenty years, I only saw you." The man was shocked. "In my eyes, you are not the grandson of the prime minister, nor the son of a congressman." "……" "The person I want to see again is the you who secretly cried in the back alley, the you who didn't eat well, and the you who had nightmares." "……!" "That person is not Bai Siyan." He couldn't help but frown. In fact, that expression was terrible, but since it had come to this point, she had nothing to fear anymore. "And the brother who had phone sex with 406——" The round back of her head was grabbed suddenly. The man bit her small lips, as if he wanted to swallow it. He turned his head and kissed her as if he wanted to suck her soul away. His tongue pressed against hers and swept deeply through her mouth. It was more suffocating than drowning. The lips that had parted were pressed together again, again, and kept sticking together. The wet flesh rubbed eagerly. The wet clothes were tightly pressed against each other. "I…!" Hee-joo took advantage of the gap between her lips and shouted. Her chest rose and fell with rapid breathing. "When I was little, I used to look through the trash cans for snacks." "What?" "Oh, and actually, I fart loudly." "…" "That's my shortcoming." She blushed and avoided his gaze. "So, what I mean is…" How could I be so bad at expressing myself? Maybe it's because I used to only threaten people, so now I find it difficult to have ordinary conversations. "If we are a real couple, to be a real couple, we can't hide anything…, in fact, we should have had such a conversation a long time ago, this kind of…!" Although he had a blank expression, Hee-joo insisted on finishing the words. "From now on, I want to tell you who I really am." "…" "Although translation and messaging are good, we should share more of each other's thoughts. We have a lot to say." "I didn't know we needed so many words." "What?" Hee-joo was startled by his rejection and felt uneasy. But she didn't back down easily. "No, no, conversations between husband and wife are important…!" "I love you." The voice was a little choked. Hee-joo stopped. "I love you, Hong Hee-joo." The sunset was setting behind him. His face looked particularly strange in the backlight. No smile. Instead, there was a distorted expression as if he was suppressing something, like a scar under the reflection of the sunset. Hee-joo couldn't look away. Every second was precious. It turned out that there was no need to say anything more. She grabbed him a little dazedly, and he kissed her again in response. The tongues were entangled and saliva was exchanged. "Well…" The whole body was numb. He smiled softly between the kisses. The sun sets and night is coming. The two hugged each other tightly as if today was the last day of their lives. The chaotic breaths kept interweaving, colliding with each other and separating, and colliding again.

[apolloagain]

Chapter 40.

Damn. Okay. I have thoughts and feelings. Was glad the other day to see the author thanking someone for a comment that "gets it" because my hubris makes me think that I Get It and would so prove that if I had an ao4 account yet (and yeah it was a good comment lol). But this one has challenged me!

I felt my "indignant" levels go through the ROOF this chapter. We all knew that Sarah's suffocation plan wasn't going to work, but that made it quite easy to root for her attempt. So seeing that fail - and I don't know about anyone else, but that was my last stab at a suicide plan for her - and then the doctor's "Lucky you don't have a choice" after her very sincere but pragmatic speech that could not make her wishes clearer... damn, I mean, I felt the frustration. I really really did. Like some fucked up cousin of Kafka where the system is completely built to circumvent yourself despite your best efforts, except everyone won't STOP caring and "loving" you. Notice how I put loving in quotes? I've been enjoying living through Sarah vicariously, feeling her rage and humiliation but also enjoying it, being a step above as the horny dream-god-reader I am. But this time... well, sure, still doing that a little, maybe. But feeling Sarah's nightmare quiteeee a lot this time! I FELT felt that trapped rage and humiliation and it DIDNT feel good!

First of all, like said, the lead up really has made this a claustrophobic and aggravating place. But then the punishment... okay, damn, look, the spanking before was hot, but somewhat subdued. Even the degradation seemed to end very quickly. But this... wow, jesus fucking christ. Way beyond that. I mean, whipping her BACK???? That's fucked up! That's really visceral! Jesus!!! I'm not at all surprised to hear that every other instance has been under that threshold, but wow, yeah, this one... double the threshold... I can believe that too! Sure, sure, making her say "Yes Mistress" is hot and dommy and whatever, except honestly, the actual content of the punishment is such an upsetting change of pace that I can barely take that in.

This sounds a little like a criticism - it's nothing more than my honest reaction. In reading all of these chapters, I guess I make meta-fantasies. So here's the one I realised I was having for this one: I really wanted Sarah to not back down. The glorious human spirit, I don't care what you call it. I want her to keep saying how until she's been abused to a shocking point. I want Rose to realise what she's done in a savage-hypocrisy- in claiming to love her, instead inflicted real physical damage and torture and really, really hurt Sarah. I wanted the guilt to come crashing down on her, for her to try and say sorry but know nothing can help, for to realise that she took a massive gambit and it FAILED, Sarah WON, the bluff was called and Rose went above it and is a monster for it and Sarah still didn't back down even though she's asking to die and part of Rose really now can see why, which makes her want to as well.

This sounds like a pretty morbid and sadistic fantasy. It IS morbid, but it's not sadistic- again, Sarah being whipped on the back was honestly not nice for me. It's more a fantasy of childish self-pity, like a "They'll all be sorry about how I treated me" catharsis. I don't think I'm the only one who wants it, as you can see in the comments confidently projecting their "predictions" (see: not so subtle wants) saying that Rose will soon find out that torture doesn't work. Sorry guys, but I don't think it's going to NOT not work!

Most of my fantasies have been, sans Sarah submitting and loving the affini, kind of from Rose's desires- that is to say, it's taken delight in the adored cooing and embarassment of watching Sarah play pretend on screen, even though I think that I've experienced a lot of that fantasy THROUGH the placed-perspective of Sarah (urgh, there are literary terms for what I'm trying to distinguish here, but even if I could remember them it would be muddled by me being a messy switch lol). But what happens right after Rose's eyes are glowing then? Sarah poops the party with Facts and Logic, putting what she's doing both matter of factly - Hab wouldn't make her feel "self-conscious" - and presenting it as a bad thing Rose is doing that further proves that her narrative of "love" is self-serving and illegitimate. When she does this, Sarah has to fight holding back a smirk. That's HER bratty ol' fantasy, a self-satisfied rage against the machine that's not just calling them klats and being violent to herself/rude to them, but undermining their control, shaping the narrative her way, no, fuck you, I can condescend right back because this is a disgrace, I'm indignant, I'm RIGHT, this is NOT the story you think it is, fuck you, I hate you, die. That's a cathartic fantasy in and of itself. And I've indulged in that meta before reading this... but not much. Firstly, because from the title alone we know that it's a foregone conclusion. Secondly, because the other one is hotter lol. But thirdly... well, look at how I'm feeling indulging heavily in those emotions and narrative right now. I wanted Sarah's suicide to work! Beyond that, I wanted Rose to go overboard and harm Sarah ONLY so that she can feel bad about having done so. Undermining Rose's system by undermining Sarah. It's self harm, ultimately. Sorry Sarah, but the horrible truth is that your way of life leads to harm. It's too destructive a fantasy, ultimately helping no one.

And yet... and yet this chapter did still make my indignation levels go critical. And I think that despite looking forward very much to the next few chapters, I found this one less enjoyable than maybe I was meant to. Ifelt bad for Sarah man, I just did! Am I taking it too seriously? Am I getting too wrapped up? And YET And Yet... that comment that had the author saying they "definitely get it"? Well, I take comfort from it, because I think I really DO get it- because here's part of it:

Sarah has made a lot of really good points. It does make me hope that Sarah will be able to win some sort of victory. It won’t be a total win - a total win against the Affini is impossible. But some sort of concession or something. You know?

I do know. Apparently we'll be heading to the C Chapters soon, so I have little faith in Sarah holding out for some melodramatic shadow of what my righteous justice wants here- she'll be saying Yes Mistress eventually, progress will be achieved, and I imagine the next few chapters of her Actual Punishment are going to be a lot of fun again, hopefully in a more attractive way than how genuinely shocking the back whip thing was. But overall.... well. Like I said, there are two fantasies at play here, and I believe they both need satisfaction, and I believe Ms Floss (feel like that's a good way to distinguish between character and writer lol) knows that too. I think that by the end of this story, Sarah will be sprouting by some of her own terms as well. It wouldn't be right to have her whole heartedly become a Winston Smith without any rebellion meaning anything, because I wouldn't be able to love Big Brother myself. Sarah's fire will burn, the Affini leaves will catch it somewhat, and there'll be a small mutual respect and understanding for the girl who stoked it. Even if most of said relationship is built on her being the most adorable floret the world's ever seen, who can't believe they were ever so nasty and allergic to happiness and are sure to get teased and reminded by Rose for it.

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

"Every Sophont is a Seed" is a really good HDG fic. Sarah rages like a force of nature, her resistance to the Affini is incredibly strong-willed and really feels like a proper fight (despite, you know, the inevitable). There's good reason for it too- to be THAT much of a fighter, you can't just be intelligent and stubborn, but genuinely, well, mentally unwell and destructive. The arc is going to be a long and richly deserved one.

Also it's hot, also it's regularly updated.

[merp-blerp]

A Gaylor/Kaylor Interpretation of "But Daddy I Love Him", Despite It Being Obvious, 'Cause Happy Pride

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

"I forget how the West was won // I forget if this was ever fun // I just learned these people only raise you // To cage you"

The opening line is a reference to a film called How the West Was Won (1962). I'm not well-versed in this film, but I know that older American Western films and the American cowboy aesthetic in general often represent male masculinity, and by extension, male heterosexuality, romanticized into picture-esque imagery of wealthy, cis, white, straight manly men ruling the West through violence. All this despite the fact that historically, many cowboys (not just boys/men, of course, so cow-folk maybe, if that's even a term) were broke queer people, often people of color, trying to survive. Similarly to Taylor, these individuals have had their queer history erased all for the sake of marketability and giving a general audience a more traditionally palatable and relatable portrayal of reality to consume. (For more on this topic, Kaz Rowe has two great videos on queer cowboy history and the queerness of cowboy movies, if that interests you.)

With "how the West was won" not being capitalized like a film title, it seems clear that while she's referencing the movie, she's not directly talking about How the West Was Won (1962). I think this line might hark back to "Cowboy Like Me", a song about Taylor (and her lover) swindling the public into assuming they're straight and the industry "rich folks" into thinking they'll abide by their rules forever. If she continues to beard and swindle she'll win the hearts of the general public more and more, or the hetero "west", but she forgets what the benefits of doing that at the unknowing cost of her happiness were. From my perspective, if Taylor forgets how the West was won, she's saying she forgets what the long-term value of hiding her queerness with straight narratives and beardings had in her mind once upon a time. She forgets if she ever found the beardings/stunts fun in her youth because she has now learned that "these people", likely industry people who have had hands in her career, only closeted her for their own money benefits, not truly caring about her at all.

"Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best // Clutchin' their pearls, sighing, "What a mess" // I just learned these people try and save you // 'Cause they hate you."

I think many songs or moments in TTPD are Taylor envisioning/anticipating what could happen if she were to come out. Obviously, the main source of bigotry against queer people is warped religious beliefs, so the "Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best" are homophobes in this reading, but considering Taylor's fanbase and the feminine names chosen, they could very specifically be swifties who are overprotective of Taylor. Swifties who do deplorable things in the name of protecting Taylor's honor, such as doxxing gaylors online because they disagree with them and see suggesting Taylor's queerness as immoral. These types of swifties will often call the act of speculation on Taylor's queerness "gross" and lean on the reasoning for that being that speculation is invasive, even though Taylor herself has never commented against speculation of her queerness in any way when she very well could if it bothered her. Therefore they have no actual clue if that's how Taylor sees it, it's just their homophobic opinion that the suggestion of queerness is gross and they project the opinion onto Taylor as if anti-speculation should be universal when it's not nearly that simple. They see the act of the Taylor sexuality discourse existing as a mess.

If Taylor is queer, seeing that a number of her fans find queerness disgusting would produce incredibly negative feelings, whether it's anger or sadness. While I don't think every anti-speculation swiftie has these particular feelings towards it (it's complicated and could have a post of it's own), some hetlors hate speculation because they know that it could be correct. If Taylor were out as queer she'd become a "queer thing" they couldn't enjoy the same way anymore; she wouldn't be their mirrorball anymore, and that's terrifying because for many that's Taylor's appeal. If she's queer she's no longer this bestie, big sister, twin from your dreams type of artist to hetlors, she's this "other" that belongs to "others". This subsection of fans try to defend her because they, consciously or not, hate the idea that an assumed "straight" woman could actually be queer and unlike them. And therefore they indirectly hate her. The real her. They'd rather have the brand Taylor Swift because they can relate to it more, so they don't want to see her. "You needed me, but you needed drugs more" (from "COSOSOM"). They try to "save" her from being seen/out 'cause they hate her.

"Too high a horse // For a simple girl // To rise above it // They slammed the door // On my whole world // The one thing I wanted."

Both the "Sarahs and Hannahs" and "Elders" exhibit a sense of superiority Taylor feels like she can't rise above by being simple. Many anti-speculation people see their opinion as the politically correct thing to do. Therefore it's superior to speculation in their eyes, despite the fact that speculation can be a critical step to finding other queers and even can be used as a form of coming out—letting people speculate. They're on "too high a horse". The attempted Lover coming out was very simple, with Taylor flagging rainbows without an obvious showing of potential contempt she had for the industry that closeted her, unlike TTPD, which exhibits much anger towards it. But the simplicity was partly why the coming out attempt didn't work. Taylor's general fandom still viewed her flagging as nothing because she didn't say anything and harassed gaylors while the SBs foiled the biggest part of her plan that would've freed her. In "I Hate It Here", Taylor mentions that she only "rise(es) above" her closeting in her fantasies for now. Instead of getting to come out, her closet door was slammed shut. Her identity, her whole world, was still in the shade of the closet.

"Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned // Scrеamin', 'But, Daddy, I love him' // I'm havin' his baby // No, I'm not, but you should see your faces"

The title of the song is pretty unanimously agreed to be a reference to The Little Mermaid (1989), which of course came out the same year Taylor was born. Arial yells this at her father when he discovers her hidden interest in the human Prince Eric before destroying her collection of human artifacts.

It's worth remembering that Arial in the film says that she is 16 years old, the same age Taylor was when her first album was released. Arial is still at an age where she would still be under her father's thumb, as she's a child, even if she doesn't feel like one. Meanwhile, Taylor is now in her 30s. She should not need her father's permission to have an interest in someone. The whole scene Taylor paints with these lyrics seems comical, Taylor running after and begging her father as her clothes come undone, maybe because she was caught in the act of making love to this "him", or she's going erratic and ripping her clothes off. Then she screams that she's having her apparent lover's baby. The story becomes more and more soap opera levels of dramatic till Taylor pulls the wool from over the listeners's eyes and reveals that it was all a lie once the facade becomes too crazy to believe unless you're gullible. It's easy to see just the "No I'm not" as a direct response to simply "I'm havin' his baby", but I think it's a response to the whole first half of the chorus. She's not a teen girl begging to be allowed to date, she's an adult.

"You should see your faces" directed at the listeners could be Taylor teasing about the shock on their faces at her wild story or the fact that it's a lie, but it could also be Taylor mocking the look of enjoyment the listener gets from her fake story, which represents her real life beard narratives. The dress unbuttoned story getting crazier and crazier seems to mirror how the real-life bearding narratives get more and more fantastical, at least in my opinion. With the current "Tayvis", Taylor is selling a high school fantasy of the popular cheerleader-type girl getting with the football boy, even though Taylor has never truly been the popular cheerleader-type in reality; she was a bullied nerd during her actual schooling days and has always portrayed herself as separate from the "cheer captain", instead being "on the bleachers" in "YBWM". Then there's the Joe vs. [Rat-dacted] narrative, where Taylor was reportedly head over heels for Joe for 6 or so years, with him not caring that she was famous and seeing her for her, till they suddenly "broke up" and the narrative changed to him stifling her. Then it changed again to her actually being deeply in love with [Rat-dacted] the whole time instead, with Joe simply being an elongated rebound type of relationship. And it gets even more confusing when you try to attach the original [Beard-DJ-dacted] → Tom Hiddleston → Joe Alwyn narratives into the mix. It's all just unraveling into less and less sense. Yet the Sarahs and Hannahs probably don't question a thing because the narrative is still straight, so what's there to ponder?

TTPD's first ever easter egg was "red herring", which is a tool meant to mislead the audience in storytelling, but an attentive audience member might be able to see past it, especially in time/hindsight. The dress unbuttoned story is a red herring to distract from the real story Taylor illustrates in the next half of the chorus, especially when the song is titled after the lie portion of the song. And by extension, in her whole career, all of Taylor's beards, many of the he/him pronouns in songs, lyrics like "your buzzcut and my hair bleach" in "Dress", and songs like "London Boy" and "So High School" are thinly veiled red herrings that keep up the surface appearance of straightness to distract yet invite the listener to dig deeper into the true queer stories in her music once noticed.

"I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences // No, I'm not coming to my senses // I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want."

Taylor now tells the listener what she's actually doing. She's telling her lover to run away, presumably along with her, especially with the song's end depicting the lovers returning to "town", but more on the ending later. The lover is still masked by he/him pronouns, but the story is still the truth. (While I do think the "he/him" in this song is in actuality a "she/her", it is interesting to view the first half of the chorus using "he/him" as a part of the red herring Taylor is telling.) In the lie, Taylor begs for her father's permission to love, but in reality, and in a lot of her music throughout her career, Taylor disobeys any disapproving peers and flees with her lover. They could either be fleeing out of the closet, or fleeing away from disapprovers. "Floor it through thе fences" reminds me of "And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences" from "Peace". The phrase "swing for the fences" means "to make a big effort to do something that is very impressive or important, but is difficult to achieve, especially if there is a risk of failure" according to Cambridge Dictionary. Both coming out and being in a glass closet can pose many risks. So Taylor telling her lover to floor it or rush through the fences could mean to run away quickly or have the double meaning of taking a big risk, like coming out or flagging when they should be closeted, along with herself doing the same.

The recurring storyline of running away and/or disregarding naysayers has appeared in songs like "Love Story", "Run", "Call It What You Want", "Speak Now", "MAATHP", "Down Bad", the unreleased "Better Off" from as far back as 2005, and so much more. Going against the grain is her reality. In her music she was never "Scrеamin', 'But, Daddy, I love him'", or just pleading to be accepted, but always running away, dreaming of an environment where she could be accepted, and refusing to come to her senses and just letting the cookie crumble passively. But her beards don't reflect the stories in her songs beyond the surface-level red herrings. The first half of the chorus is the flimsy public narrative, and the second half is the reality.

Taylor's lover is described by her as "crazy". Asylums are a recurring theme throughout this album. Historically and culturally people who were put into asylums were often dubbed "crazy" and mistreated rather than receiving the help they might've needed if they were truly in need at all, as some people who were put into asylums weren't even ill, just perceived as such, similar to queer people who are seen by homophobes as ill when queerness is natural. In this album, asylums represent the industry that raised Taylor and treated her like she was crazy. In the song "TTPD", both she and the lover call themselves crazy, so she and the lover are both in the asylum or industry.

From a specifically Kaylor perspective, Karlie Kloss, particularly in the years before meeting Taylor, has always seemed "louder" than Taylor. And not quite as disciplined in keeping her straight narrative(s) up properly (i.e. Kar recently posting an anniversary pic about being with Josh for 10 years when it's supposed to be 12 years by now. But who has she allegedly been with for 10 years as far as the public's known for sure...?). Through my interpretation of Tay's music, it seems like Kar is Taylor's driving force to potentially come out, as her albums up to 1989 seemed more keen on staying caged and being okay with it, but albums after that have felt like attempts to at least claw on the closet door. Being in a committed relationship with someone willing to be loud might risk Taylor's safety in the cage, so being with someone as "crazy" as Kar is a risk, but she's the one she wants.

"Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid // Tendrils tucked into a woven braid // Growin' up precocious sometimes means // Not growin' up at all."

Taylor mentions growing up precocious in at least 3 different songs on TTPD, this, "The Bolter" and "I Hate It Here". It's definitely something we're supposed to pay attention to. In "You're Losing Me" Taylor mentions being a pathological people pleaser, which lines up with her talk of trying to be the perfect "good girl" who didn't force herself onto people since childhood in Miss Americana. Often, AFAB people who behave this way are told that they're being very mature by being quiet, whether it's quiet in general or quiet on world issues instead of speaking up. As someone who also grew up precocious, it was always easy to get told you were doing a good job by just sitting pretty and never expressing anything. But these traits might begin to backfire the older you get as you suddenly realize that you never got to be a child, but you also weren't really an adult when you were called "mature for your age", so you might end up regressing in a way or just confused on how to actually be an adult properly.

If you're like me, you believe Miss Americana was originally meant to be a coming-out documentary, or a documentary meant to explain Taylor's journey with her sexuality, released after coming out, before those plans were foiled. Her early developmental years are likely a part of why she isn't out yet. She wants to come out in a very specific way that's more than "just saying it". Especially since theirs a lot at stake with her coming out the bigger she gets, the more employees she has to make sure get paid, and the more she has to protect her family. She can't be a "simple girl" and "rise above it" at the same time because the situation is way more delicate now than it was during the Lover era.

In Miss Americana and "The Archer", Taylor mentions feeling like she is stuck at the age she got famous, 16. If we see the lie of the first chorus representing her flimsy bearding narratives, then she could mean that she never grew up into being openly queer. Since she began writing songs, Taylor has always written her songs with the knowledge that one day they could be publicly heard. Even unreleased songs that are very queer-coded like "Welcome Distraction" still have he/him pronouns, just like the ones she writes to this day. Songs that don't have romantic he/him pronouns or are about a girl have always had plausible deniability, such as "Angelina" or "Question...?". Even if it's just a bit of that plausible deniability, heteronormativity makes it really easy to hide when you do it as well as Taylor does.

The mention of braids calls back to "Seven", a song in-part about childhood. Tendrils can be a part of a plant, which reminds me of "Please picture me in the weeds // Before I learned civility", which could be interpreted as Taylor being more wildly queer in some way when she was young before learning how to act straighter for her own good. Tendrils can also be stray pieces of hair, or metaphorically queerness, that was hidden in a straight, rigid braid. I also think this has to do with "Peter", a song I believe to be about Taylor apologizing to her inner queer child for taking so long to come out; when Taylor began hiding her queerness in her music, I'm sure she thought it would just be till the world was ready to hear her truth some years down the line. And if the song "Change" is anything to go off of, she might've been optimistic that that was soon. "I thought it was just goodbye for now // You said you were gonna grow up // Then you were gonna come find me". But here we are over 20 years after she began writing songs and she's still writing in the same closeted way, for now. The southern drawl (if that's the phrase I'm looking for), or her choice to use words cut short like "Runnin'", "'bout", and "ain't" during this song's most tense moments make this feel like her younger, pre-pop self-speaking up finally.

(As a bit of an extra tidbit, these lines really remind me of lyrics from "Welcome Distraction" that I think are meant to be, "A life and a plan and I wasn't gonna stray // Swore I’d never let a man in my way", but I get different results when I look up the lyrics due to its unreleased status. Younger and current Taylor possibly singing similar lines really expands on the never-growing-up aspect of this reading.)

"He was chaos, he was revelry // Bedroom eyes like a remedy // Soon enough, the elders had convened // Down at the city hall // 'Stay away from her' // The saboteurs // Protested too much // Lord knows the words // We never heard // Just screeching tires and true love."

The "he" being in actuality a "she" is the reading that makes the most sense for this song overall. With all the religious imagery in the song, religious elders would not object in this particular way so hard against a guy and a girl wanting to be together. It makes the most sense when Taylor's lover is thought of as another woman. If the lover is a woman, she would definitely represent chaos for Taylor, not necessarily because of her personality but through the way Taylor wants her and the trouble that want could cause. The lover was not a part of the plans laid. But the lover is also the celebratory feeling of being in love, and the celebratory feeling of pride you get from being queer once you've found someone who you can be yourself around and be proud of yourself with. Revelry.

If we think of the "elders" being the SBs specifically, than them meeting each other at the "city hall" could be them coming together to steal Taylor's masters, which recked her plans to come out the same day the news broke out.

Since I'm personally a late-stage Kaylor, I see the saboteurs saying "stay away from her" as the perpetrators and believers in the Kaylor feud, spreading the never-confirmed rumor that Karlie betrayed Taylor as if it's fact and being overprotective of Taylor by demanding Karlie stay away from Taylor since she's a "trader".

Alternatively, the saboteurs could be telling Taylor to stay away from Karlie, as even though there have been other rumored relationships with women Taylor has had, Karlie has always been the strongest suspect and the most well-known since Taylor was never really able to keep the straight facade up as well as usual around Karlie (i.e. Kissgate). I doubt this reading of the line a bit more purely because the lover has been constantly dubbed "him" through the song and it'd be odd to switch up here, but I thought it was worth mentioning. I'll move on with the former interpretation for this reading.

"Protested too much" is a reference to Hamlet by William Shakespeare. In the context of the play, Queen Gertrude says this as a reaction to Hamlet's play trying to weasel guilt out of her and mainly her new husband for marrying so soon after the original King's murder. When the queen in the play says she'll never remarry after her husband dies, Gertrude tells Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks", meaning she thinks the queen in the play is putting on a front that shouldn't be believed. If Taylor believes the saboteurs are "protest(ing) too much" it could mean that she believes that they aren't being honest about their stance against the lover. That their hatred for them and calls for them to go away would falter if time were to prove their stance wrong. In "Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus", Taylor says "If you wanna tear my world apart // Just say you've always wondered", which I take as Taylor knowing that when she comes out, despite the strong rejection of her planting seeds to her truth right now, people will say that they had always suspected that she was queer once they feel socially safe to do so post coming out. If the lover in this song is Karlie, then it's not hard to imagine the saboteurs suddenly backtracking their hate in order to praise Kaylor and Karlie after Kaylor becomes publicly cordial again.

With "Lord knows the words // We never heard/ // Just screeching tires and true love" Taylor and her lover ignore the saboteurs's hatred and carry on with their love. Or they ignore the hypocritical words of "praise" for their relationship that'll come when they come out. I'm more inclined to believe the former due to the mention of "screeching tires", a car reference. I mentioned in my "Champagne Problems" analysis that vehicles often represent the closet/running away from the public for Taylor, so if she and the lover are enjoying "screeching tires and true love", they're making the best of their closet as they run away from the rest of the world for the time being, like how they do in "Paris".

"I'll tell you something right now // I'd rather burn my whole life down // Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'. // I'll tell you something 'bout my good name // It's mine alone to disgrace // I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing"

I believe Taylor is gearing up to come out, reveal at least aspects of her reality, and expose the harm the industry has done to her and maybe even others. This line syncs up perfectly with the "Burning Lover House" theory, with Taylor eliminating all the red herrings of her past albums and telling her truth. If Taylor's career and good name goes down the toilet due to her being herself, it'll be her doing and she wants to be in that much control of herself. The "vipers dressed in empath's clothing" are the fans who harass and harm people like Karlie all in the name of defending and "empathizing" with Taylor, even though Taylor has never okayed that behavior and has spoken against it. The vipers pretend to empathize with the situations they think Taylor's been in and her music, but their behavior shows they don't truly see eye-to-eye with her and what she stands for. She's done catering to them.

"God save the most judgmental creeps // Who say they want what's best for me // Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see // Thinkin' it can change the beat // Of my heart when he touches me // And counteract the chemistry // And undo the destiny // You ain't gotta pray for me // Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy // If all you want is gray for me // Then it's just white noise, and it's just my choice."

Taylor calls out the "judgmental creeps" who hurt people in the name of her. Her asking God to save the "judgmental creeps" could be sarcasm, but I also know Taylor's a Christian (and maybe catholic. I know she grew up catholic), and as a queer Christian, I know that I tend to fully see homophobia as practically an illness, like how homophobes view queerness as an illness, and hope homophobes find it in their heart to overcome those ailments. I wouldn't be surprised if Taylor felt the same way.

The creeps "Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies" that Taylor will "never see". Doing something sanctimoniously is doing something in a performative way, calling back to the saboteurs protesting too much, being hateful only because it's so normalized in the community, and who are likely going to do a 180 once their hate is no longer in style for the times. If Taylor will never see these soliloquies then she could be saying that she'll never give them the time of day, the "words we never heard" from earlier. A soliloquy is a speech that's said when alone without listeners (they're also famously associated with Hamlet so that ties back to "protested too much"), so these creeps are essentially arguing with the wall, as Taylor turns a blind eye to them no matter how much the soliloquies are made to empathize with her or impress her because they do none of those things.

The creeps think their hateful soliloquies will change Taylor's truth. They think if they pretend Karlie doesn't or never existed in Taylor's life in any way and harass Karlie, then it'll change the reality that they secretly or unconsciously know is true, but it won't. The saboteurs and Taylor's closet-ers can't change who she is and what she has with her lover. If the Sarahs and Hannahs only want the straight, beard-narcotic-giving, grey Taylor Swift™, then their pearl-clutching just becomes white noise to Taylor, and it's her choice to be in screaming color, dazzling in the daylight.

"There's a lot of people in town that I // Bestow upon my fakest smiles // Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer."

In my "I Look In People's Windows" analysis, I viewed the "town" as a metaphor for her tour locations and fanbase. Since she's of course performing on tour, Taylor's happiness could definitely be faked if she had to make it. She can do it with a broken heart and her fans wouldn't even notice. The amount of people inside the stadiums when she tours is massive, so it really is a lot. And if her beard is at the stadium, or "in town", she can give them all the fake winks and nods she needs to keep up appearances as the time to come out approaches. "Scandal does funny things to pride" has a double meaning. Scandal can take a shot at your ego or sense of pride. But queer scandal can also make you want/have to hide your urge to be openly queer and proud, as older queer celebs like Rock Hudson had to completely deny their queerness if rumors got out of control for their own safety. Still, scandal, or hardships, can bring lovers closer as they persevere through it.

"We came back when the heat died down // Went to my parents and they came around // All the wine moms are still holdin' out, but fuck 'em, it's over."

I like to see this and the incoming chorus as Taylor predicting the wake of the coming out. She'll burn it down, things in "town" or the fandom will be chaos, and then she and Karlie will return/publicly reunite in the afterglow of it all once the fandom's shock wanes. The narrative of this song is that Taylor and her lover ran away, disobeying Taylor's father figure rather than begging him, but when they return her family accepts everything. Taylor is still seen as at most a "PG-13" artist, accessible to children, so their parents, the wine moms, could still be upset once the heat dies down, wanting Taylor to be a sanitized image for their kids to look up to and still pearl clutching at her queerness. But fuck 'em, the pain of the closet is far behind her and her lover now. It's over.

"Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and // Even my daddy just loves him // I'm his lady // And, oh my God, you should see your faces."

The lie is now gone, as Taylor gets to be joyous with her lover in the daylight, out of the shade, with her Dad accepting. She's possibly surprised by that, with the use of "even". She still mocks the creeps's outrage and shock.

"Time, doesn't it give some perspective? // And, no, you can't come to the wedding // I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want."

As mentioned before, the vipers suddenly backtracked their hate, as time proved their actions wrong, but no matter how much they might kiss up now, Taylor for the rest of the song continues to mock them with the post-chorus and outro. Especially with "Tayvis", her fans have been invited to vicariously and happily experience her "relationships" through her, despite her constant singing of private relationships and disapprovers. But the majority of her fans are not invited to her real relationship, the one she truly keeps private. No, they can't come to the wedding.

I like how "he's crazy" changes to "it's crazy". Taylor knows that the post-coming-out situation will be crazy, especially if she plans to expose an awful, buried side of the industry in some mass coming out with others as some theorize. But she wants her lover and the things that come with the freedom.

Thanks for reading!

[average-transdalorian]

Y’know I think all of Char’s divorces could be explained by him being aroallo and trying his best to be alloallo because he doesn’t realize he’s aroallo. But also I’m not sure the world is ready for rep like that

[cherry-treelane]

I find it so ironically funny when hardcore Debbie defenders use the defense that she was just a victimised teenage girl (agreed) and then proceed to slander Fiona and express their hatred for her character and lack of sympathy

as if being an adult magically absolves an individual of the horrifying trauma that precedes them and screws up their mentality and actions

funnily enough these people get mad at others for "expecting Debbie to be an innocent angel and hating on her for acting out as a result of trauma" (also agreed, debbie does deserve more sympathy, she can't be expected to grow up to be a perfect saint when she's been through so much) yet seem to hold Fiona to the same unattainable standards and put her on a pedestal as if she wasnt a child that was forced to intensely grow up while never actually being raised

like lets put this into perspective and remember that fiona grew up surrounded by corrupt morals and insanely screwed up behaviour yet still emerged as messed up, yes, but surprisingly good considering the situation she was in??? she had to navigate basic things such as morals and being a good, responsible person on her own. imagine how difficult it must be to lead a bunch of kids, including yourself, with no previous role model or good example of your own to follow. most of the time, she always tried to do what she thought was best and would have the most desirable outcome

[morningmask27]

Honestly I'm also not fully happy with what they did with Whis this book

[starlooove]

And on another note despite what I’m focusing on I do think it’s abhorrent to assume everyone who voted for or supported Harris is chill with genocide like yeah that’s like. What blew up online that tori maya shit was stupid as fuck but due to the disorganization and lateness of this campaign there was REAL misinformation being spread especially to our elders by ppl misconstruing info and a large number of ppl genuinely RIGHT NOW believe she’s pro Palestine called for a ceasefire etc. Like that’s a big chunk of the issue happening rn - where ppl literally made up policies for her or suddenly fell for “neutral” talking points bc it’s on someone they like and spread that. Like idk I feel like until everyone can be honest and humble nobody’s getting anywhere

[peapod20001]

I’m the type that can and will cry if think too hard <3

[hexcitrine]

randomly looked at this account to update my age and holy shit it's been a while since i posted here..........i have a small pile of art i have yet to post but hbhbshdbshbd too lazy

[anonyanonymouse]

🙈

[ninjagotohell]

I just read a whole wacky thread of people arguing which parent was bad Garmadon or Misako and I’m no longer scared of the Misako defenders

[vendettavalor]

@tacticalvalor said: 🔥 / unpopular opinion -> shipping

⚔️ Munday Unpopular Opinions // ACCEPTING ⚔️

// Praying to God that this doesn't somehow end up in the main tags-

// Caution in the tags. This got long-

// Shipping 47 and Lucas is weird and gross. Like... there is no way to slice it that makes it plausible or okay. They are brothers. They view each other as brothers. This is not fanon or up to interpretation and I think that the only reason people play with the concept at all is simply because Lucas refers to himself as " 47's childhood friend" in the games rather than his brother- a fact that makes sense given the delicate situation in which simply saying that could be overwhelming for 47 who, you know, remembers nothing except the false memories of 6 Ort-Meyer implanted in his brain after the memory wipe.

// But in the comics, which are canon material and relate to the WoA trilogy, the two of them refer to each other as brothers, interact like brothers, and clearly view each other as very close siblings even well into their early adulthood. Until Ort-Meyer wiped his brain, 47 knew Lucas to be his brother. That alone should be enough dissolve any sort of romantic implication between the two. But if you wanna take the biology route, yes- they share the same DNA from the same five people. It's not an exact match, but even if they were exact clones, that wouldn't make it better. They're still biologically related and very closely at that, in addition to being very close socially in a sibling-type bond. Trying to imply that there's some sort of inherent romantic or sexual connection between them now just because they haven't seen each other in 30 years is... strange and creepy to say the least.

// And sure, you could make the argument that "47 is a completely different person" and yeah. He is. But he's still not the kind of person who would fuck someone he barely remembers and is just beginning to recall sharing traumatizing experiences with, least of all if that person is someone he refers to as his brother. And even still, Lucas clearly hasn't changed all that much and regards 47 as his brother just as much now as he did when they were kids.

// I don't know what it is with people looking at clone characters in media that clearly regard each other as brothers and somehow coming to the conclusion that they'd be they'd be "secretly romantically or sexually involved." Except I do know. It's porn-brain, influenced by the copious amount of content revolving around incestuous relationships between siblings and step-siblings that lead people to distort their perception of familial bonds in such a way that they fetishize any connection between two individuals, regardless of the fact that they share a sibling relation. But knowing that fact does not make it any less disturbing or disgusting.

// And I know that topics like this always draw in the Devil's advocates so lemme just jot down real quick:

"If you don't like it, don't read it" - I don't look for it. But people writing this stuff hardly tag their shit properly so here we are. I worry for people who do have triggers for topics like this and click on fics not knowing what they're about to read.

"It's just fiction" - It always is until it isn't. The amount of times I've heard horror stories of people being intimately abused bc their partner saw something in porn and tried to just apply it IRL without asking/consent bc porn has normalized it in their mind as being hot for everyone is horrifying.

"Just let people have fun" - No one's saying you can't have fun. But maybe you should be asking yourself why you feel attacked when people tell you that fetishizing sibling relationships and perpetuating harmful sexualization of innocent interactions might be a bad idea.

"People are allowed to write dark topics" - I agree. But the issue is not the topic itself, it's how you handle it. Of course you can write and explore topics like incest and trauma and their impacts. The issue is when you fetishize, romanticize, and glamorize them instead of treating it with the tact it deserves. These are not topics to make light of or sexualize for your own gratification/fantasies.

"Some people write this stuff as a coping mechanism" - The term for this is known as Expressive Writing. Expressive writing is using journaling, poetry, or personal storywriting in order to process, express, and work through the feelings left behind by traumatic experiences. It's typically done under the guidance of a therapist and is focused on feelings, not descriptions. This is because writing out vivid descriptions can take you back to that place and force you to relive the trauma before you might be ready to do so. Graphic descriptions can also impact the mental health of those around you if it's not done in tactful way. Putting yourself through that actually hinders your recovery from the trauma. So in short, writing graphic depictions of trauma is an unhealthy coping mechanism that can contribute to retraumatization and exposes others to material that they might not be prepared to engage with.

[s-sputnik-k]

So. I have a crush who went to my college, and I've only interacted with him like 2 or 3 times, but he's just finished college so I may never see him again, but we do follow each other on instagram

And over the past few days I have discovered 2 things from his instagram account:

1. He has a girlfriend

2. He has an artist friend (who likes Star Wars) who drew some digital art of him playing bass, which he has set as his pfp on his semi-professional music acc

Take a guess which one I'm jealous of. TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS

[setaflow]

If you're wondering why I haven't posted any thoughts about the Rangers' offseason moves, it's because you're probably not gonna like what I'm gonna say about it lol.

[tardis--dreams]

I wish i could get buproprion without a prescription this shit is way too good to give up ㅠㅠ