#// carol wants this to be one of those
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Bred, Spektr, and Gruelle are to vhsccs what the fates are to hadestown
#want everyone to know I'm making this post on the 31st July. just so we have an idea of where my head was at this year#happy holidays in advance all. are we getting vhsccs this year?? I hope so. I also hope last years one goes on YouTube it was so gorgeous!!#oh and an album! hope we get an album#need to listen to those songs again. desperately#starkid#hadestown#vhs christmas carols#vhsccs#posting these NOW cause it's vhsccs season babyyyy
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i am genuinely baffled by believers reblogging that "secular Christmas carol" that pleads with us to leave Christ out of Christmas. are people just really not reading the lyrics or have they allowed their faith to be so disillusioned that they would forget that the weary world rejoices. we chose a time of year to rejoice. there is no "magic of the season" that is missing now because of age or capitalism or what have you. there never was magic. it was Christ. it was divinity. holidays are a celebration of something important, and the feast (in the sense of "an annual religious celebration") is about the people, not the things. don't partake of common modern traditions if you so choose (the gift giving or the turkey or the lights or what have you), but do not conflate these things to be what a holy day is about.
holy days are built into annual or regular occurrences as an effort to remember and be reverent, which we are admonished to do and to do often.
"Christmas is all about the songs and the lights and the turkey and the carols and bloated gift-giving" is not reverent, and isn't the enlightened take you think it is.
#mir posting#probably going to get blasted for this but whatever i said it.#my prayer is#that after that u would stop suffering with irritation bc i promise. this isn't about u. or me. or anyone else physically on this earth#every year this time of year when i want to sink into the despair over some tragic gross part of the way the holiday is celebrated or done#i have to remember that what it is for is not the family. or the gifts. or anything else.#what it is for is reverence and a heart that stops to remember that into a weary world -a world much like this one-#a thrill of hope and a light did come. that 2000 years ago a baby was born (it's about the EVENT not the exact date!!) to save us#the scandal of the death of God is preceded by the wondrous birth into a dark world and defeated by the miraculous resurrection#when the old world started dying and the new world started coming on.#do not grow weary saints!#do not own the despair that says there is nothing of divine import to celebrate!#the ribbons and the carols and the gifts and the trees and the lights and the warring families ARE NOT THE CELEBRATION#the celebration is Salvation came to set us free from those filthy rags#filthy rags that are all we have as an offering for His sacrifice
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band au where billy, eddie, and tommy are in a punk/metal/heavy rock band and are successful etc whatever anyway. Anyway.
the idea of them being interviewed and the interviewer asking tommy about his sexuality becos both billy and eddie are publicly bi
billy and eddie being like. hold the fuck up. u can't just ask someone that. but tommy, king of openness and honesty and also just a naive bitch, being like. i've been with my girl since seventh grade and i know she's it for me but like. guys are cool. can't confirm personally but guys are definitely cool. and being an awkward mess about it
the guys groaning and dropping their heads to their hands and jesus christ. shut the fuck up, man and the interviewer being like. so, bi?
tommy blushing like. aha ha ! when you put it like that !
them returning to the tour bus after and eddie being like. first of all that interviewer was a cunt for asking u that. second of all. [twirls hair] u can't confirm?
and billy cutting in like. we can help you confirm. we can 100% help you confirm. i already messaged carol and she's cool with it. said as long as we promised to return u in one piece, we can do whatever you want.
ANYWAY the idea of the guys having a threesome simply becos tommy's like. Well It'd Be Nice To Know For Sure. and billy and eddie giving him a night he'll never forget that bleeds into a morning he'll always remember
then the idea of someone bringing up that interview or asking tommy if he's Figured It Out Yet? and billy being like that's none of your fuckin' business only for tommy to jump in and be like oh i figured it out alright. i'm bi as FUCK.
and then all the fans and stans etc losing their minds on social media like what is THAT supposed to mean and why did billy and eddie fuck him so good that he said it like That
#the idea of corroded coffin falling apart when half of its members decide to go to college#cos being in a band was just a hobby. not an actual Future.#and eddies like. Cut. cos it WAS his future#and billy wanting to split and go back home except life is expensive moving is expensive being independent from neil is expensive#and suddenly him and eddie are getting high every night like. we graduated. we're adults. what the fuck now. where can we go from here.#and suddenly they're jamming and writing songs cos they got some shitty full time jobs that drain the life out of them#and music is now their only will to live#one night being crossfaded enough to be like. hey. Hey. what if WE made a band. together.#and then u have tommy#who joins them in their little getting blazed sessions like every other night#cos he's at community college and hating it#just tryin to chill and relax#and billy and eddie are like. we need a drummer. who can be our drummer. and they both turn to him.#and tommy's like. bro i dont even know what a drum is.#and billy's like oh he's perfect. that's literally so punk rock.#and eddie's like. i refuse to be in one of those indie bands where they cant even play the instruments theyre on okay he's going to learn#so help me god he'll learn#and tommy's like. fuck it lets go. fuck college. wait lemme check with carol first 👉🏻👈🏻#and then like. they do it and they have fun and theyre losers and billys a dickhead and eddies passionate and tommys the Heart#ohhhh carol and chrissy being the band girlfriends/wives etc they literally run that shit#and max constantly being like. oh ur touring europe? cool i need a vacation actually. i'm come.#billy: i didn't invite you#max: ask me if i care#fans HATE carol except for the real ones. everyone loves chrissy tho except the cringe stans who think eddie knows their names#m#billy x eddie x tommy#text
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"I deedn't mean it..."
#ren and stimpy#ren & stimpy#rempy#my crap art#ok for context i saw this image on another blog i have no idea what fandom or anything but it totally fit this hc i have wherein R&S get#into a fight and Ren tells Stimpy theyre better off without each other amongst some other cutting comments ie better off dead etc and then#Ren gets hit by a car and has one of those lucid medical coma dreams a la a christmas carol and laments his shitty behavior and wants to#tell stimpy so badly how much he needs him and he cant he just cant#i make myself cringe#hes not dead that would kill me literally
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Hey actually, why did The Grove have Carol execute a schizophrenic child and frame it as the only thing she could've done? We've got a bunch of people now saying she was right to kill a mentally ill 12 year old when she didn't know how to handle her.
#the episode made me sad and uncomfortable but looking back it was... super ableist no?#Carol and Tyreese also just did a garbage job looking after those girls#yeah sure guys leave two small children alone with a baby in the middle of the zombie infested woods#right after one of them had a meltdown about wanting to be friends with said zombies#and they have knives.#stupid.#twd#ableism#I found Lizzie stressful and annoying. I'm not the parental type. But I would've taken away her weapons and fucking *tried* at least CAROL.#you promised her dying father to look after her as your own CAROL.#she's not that dangerous just don't leave her unnatended with smaller children and weapons CAROL.#you're all trained assassins at this point you're not going to be killed by someone who's 4'5'' and built like a blade of grass
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Anti caryl (?) post so just a heads up I guess. 🤦🏼♀️
"Everyone that looks at Daryl and Carol sees them as a romantic thing, they just have that vibe to them, most people don't look at them and think friends, everyone always assumes there will be more between them or they end up wanting more"
...
🤔🤔🤔
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You were saying... 👀
#Yes I do like being petty lmao#But that's bc if I get hate for giving my opinion on this an opinion that changes nothing then I get to be petty#The more hate I get the more petty I am#And I'm just trying to show an example of multiple people and there was more but I didn't have space who never saw them as romantic and yet#Those shippers still act as if the reason why they get to hate on others is bc their opinion is a majority (as if that's even an excuse)#When clearly it's not I've seen more people saying that they don't want them together then people that do#This is just another case of a fandom being loud af#Anyway you do you but let other people do what they want#* than#I ain't gonna delete all that for one typo ignore it lmao 😭#The walking dead#Twd#Daryl dixon#carol peletier#anti caryl
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Y’know what I want to read? A fic where Pip is in the process of meeting his new adoptive parents. It’s a good experience, nothing goes wrong & everything is nice :)
The boy wrung the bottom of his blazer nervously, keeping his head low and chewing his bottom lip. He had been so excited; for today was the day he was finally going to meet his potential adoptive parents! But now, as he was standing a mere few feet in front of the couple, a nervousness overtook that previous excitement. Would they like him? Would he be good enough for them? Would he be a good fit for their family? All these questions were buzzing around in his head, increasing his worry.
He was brought out of his thoughts as the woman, blonde hair pulled into a bun while her bangs fell around her gentle face, framing it just right, spoke up softly.
“Hello dear,” she said with a smile, “what’s your name?”
Keeping his head low but looking up in surprise to meet her eyes, he quietly responded in an accent that was very similar to hers.
“Pip, ma’am.” Some of his nervousness remained, but it was steadily being replaced with a sense of astonishment and awe.
“That’s a lovely name, dear!” She smiled warmly.
Shuffling ever so slightly, the boy bashfully kicked the ground beneath him as he chuckled nervously. “Thank’ye, ma’am. My real name is actually Philip, but everyone calls me Pip, because they hate me, so I just tend to stick with that. N-not that I mind, though!” He stammered, noticing the familiar look of pity upon the woman’s face, and he noticed, was on the man’s too.
The look remained on her face a moment longer before she let it melt back into one of reassurance. “Do you wish to be called Philip?” She regarded him gently; cautiously. He appreciated that, and let himself relax.
“Sometimes.” The last time he could remember being called by his real name was when Joe had hugged him goodbye at the docks the morning he had left for the states, tearfully telling him that he was “gonna do great things!”. He smiled thoughtfully at the memory. “I wouldn’t mind it”.
“Well then, Philip it is then!” She exclaimed, and took a step forward holding out a hand. “My name is Eleanor. It is so very nice to finally meet you, Philip! We’ve been very excited.” She motioned to her husband, a tall brunet, who gave a friendly wave in response.
The boy hesitated for just a moment, before lifting his head and stepping forward, carefully taking her hand in his, and shaking it in greeting. She smiled as she knelt down to his level, and he could tell just from her behavior thus far that she was being genuine. He smiled, and his handshake grew more confidant.
This one, he felt, would finally work out okay in the end.
He was sure of it.
#I may fix this up a bit later & lengthen it as there is quite a bit of distracting noise around me currently#but I like this idea a lot#and yes it's a British couple in South Park go figure#but this is one of those rare times where I just let my favorite character be happy & nothing goes wrong#yes the couple is the one he was caroling with back in season 1#I just want to let pip be happy sometimes :')#pip pirrup#my writing#south park
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why they kinda babygril
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I absolutely adore fire imagery in characters but they’ve literally been interpreted as a candle and I love it teeny hands and the sparks oough theyre my favourite don’t mind me
#I just watched the film with my brother heehe#Couldn’t find the muppets one though :(#it’s so silly though I was laughing when I shouldn’t have been#Really living up to my name as mx hyperfixation..#3 fixations in a day lmfao#a christmas carol#christmas carol#dont even come after me for it being spring not Christmas I just want the sillies im not one of those people who decorate in September/gen
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so this is probably a really random question but what would u consider your style? What's a color that's always on your wardrobe? Do u dress accordingly to the seasons? 🫣 okay that was more than one question. I'm just curious bc I feel like witches always dress so good but also bc your blog is so pretty I feel like that has to be a reason your wardrobe is always on point. hoping again this isn't a weird question lol I just like looking buying and wearing clothes and even if it's hard for me to find stuff I try my best (I'm fat and I don't really buy online lol)
Okay so I drafted up a response of this and saved it to my drafts with the intention of adding more. And then my drafts swallowed it whole. But I'm determined to answer you.
My style is not a certain aesthetic because honestly I love too many to decide. I stick with earth tones a lot (except for the deep reds and cherry reds), but my wardrobe is mostly blacks and greens and browns. I have leaned more into the whimsigoth vibe for the past few years (more dark blues are getting added). So my closet is a mishmash of dark academia and 70s things. More often than not those things just get mixed together. For awhile though I dressed in the 40s academia vibe and Victorian Gothic/Western Gothic so I have so many pieces I collected from that era that I throw that in to.
Make the mess of vibes I just said what you will, but that's basically it. Honestly it just depends on the day, how I'm feeling, and if I actually want to get out comfy clothes.😅
#witch aunt responds#stargazing carol darling#honestly i love this question#i've never been asked it before#i have a few thrift stores around me so i just peruse those a lot#but if i want something nice i have a few sites i like to shop at#cider is a new one i'm obsessed with
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i love it when everyone argues and shouts and brandishes weapons at each other :'D
#i can't#daryl telling him to shut up gives me life 🤣#he's so loyal tho ;A;#sure i wouldn't be if my fucking brother treated me that way!!!#i also love how eager rick and gang are to get rid of michonne#like. IT'S THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE#WHY WOULD U TURN AWAY AN ABLE BODIED ADULT WITH A FUCKING KATANA????#DO U WANT TO DIE???? DO U WANT TO DIE THAT BADLY????#shout out to new friend tasha who is a very beautiful lady ;A;#and to merle for being a shit-stirrer beyond compare!!!#to glenn for withstanding torture like a champ!!!!!#nothing for those two other guys tho. the ones who wanted to hurt and rob carl and carol#fuck those two guys in particular 😒#birb watch#tha walken ded
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the mummy & the mummy returns starters \\ ✧ // accepting (if you can find the meme erhgernr) @rcdlcdger sent: "patience is a virtue."
“Uh huh,” Carol murmured in response, unconvinced that waiting was the right decision. The pair sat in a car outside what was a suspected front for a Hydra cell. Carol played with the keys, spinning them on a finger.
She glanced at Nat.
“You know I could just kick in the door, right?”
#// 84 years later#// carol wants this to be one of those#// stealth is optional missions#✭ // state-of-the-art two-way pager (answered)
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HI QUASION!!
11 Carol, 24 Gemma, 30 Leonidas :3
quasion,,,, (ask game Here!)
11. (Carol) What do they have in common with you? How are they different? Would you get along with them?
ahaha we are actually Very similar. he wound up being very self-projectiony, actually- though there are distinct lines between his traits and mine, in places.
differences! well there's? musically, carol's achievements are instrumental (violin) and nearly all of mine are vocal. many solo voice and choir competitions, a couple prestigious concert halls, etc. that is (aside from his backstory and all) essentially the biggest major difference??
aaand do i think we'd get along? honestly yeah lmfao. i feel like he'd be good conversation and just cool to be around in general- type of guy you can just Talk to but also sit and simply vibe in silence with.
24. (Gemma) Do they have any creative hobbies? (Art, writing, music, etc.)
hehe i like to think gem has a pretty voice and likes to sing. mostly for herself and to her loved ones, but i've also been tossing around the idea that maybe she has a friend who runs a lounge and has let her sing there a few times just for funsies
30. (Leonidas) Do they smell like anything notable?
ooooo hm. he probably smells like? this subtle mix of something like metal and?? i keep thinking clay, for some reason. possibly with an undertone of leather and the faint smell of sweat. not the most conventionally attractive mix of scents, but certainly enticing
#carol joyce#gemma valentini#commander leonidas#tbh if u want a comprehensive list of similarities and differences between me and carol i could probably come up with one lmfao#also what matters with leon is that ambra likes the way he smells💖#freaks#blowing them up#also. the rest of u. i will take questions literally whenever.#carol. gemma. ambra. butch. leonidas.#also. caolan. peter. olivia. tristan. for those of u who know them.#ask quasion
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like a lover
he doesn’t answer. he doesn’t even look at you again. he just shakes his head and walks into the bedroom. by the time you follow him, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it holds the answer to whatever’s boiling inside him. fine. If he wants to ice you out, two can play that game.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)
genre: hurt comfort
content: student!reader gets drunk after a brutal final and spencer is beyond mad. very brief mention of abduction. lowkey spencer is in the right bc #safety but he made reader cry n for that he is found #guilty!!!
word count: 3.1k
note: based off this ask! random fact the last line of this fic was the inspiration for empty my soul but idk why i just couldnt fit it in there, anyways i hope you guys like it! (pls tell me if u do i was struggling with a resolution for this)
a line: Spencer thinks, for a split second, that he’d rather die than ever have to see you cry like that again.
I give you an onion. It is a moon wrapped in brown paper. It promises light like the careful undressing of love. Here. It will blind you with tears like a lover. It will make your reflection a wobbling photo of grief. I am trying to be truthful. - carol ann duffy
You probably should’ve stopped five drinks ago—maybe four if you were feeling merciful. That last Vodka cran? A spectacularly bad idea. But whatever. You earned this. You’re young, you’re fun, you look good, and for the first time in weeks, you have no deadlines clawing at you. The final had been a nightmare. You knew your fate was sealed the second you flipped to question three. What the hell is textual and symbolic environmentalisation? But it’s over now. That’s all that matters.
The wind bites at your bare legs as you stand by the curb, aimlessly kicking a pebble. You hug your arms close, fighting off the chill. Maybe you should’ve brought a jacket. Spencer had suggested it, but you’d waved him off. He’s usually right.
You frown, glancing up at the street sign. He said he’d be here. Right? Your phone’s dying battery blinks at you in its final moments, mocking you before shutting off completely. Definitely should’ve taken his offer of a portable charger, too. You sigh, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.
A man stumbles by, reeking of booze. You don’t need to look to know.
"Hey," he calls out, voice slurred and gravelly.
You keep your eyes down, pretending not to hear.
“Hey,” he says again, louder this time.
Where the hell is Spencer?
"D’you know when the bus starts running again?"
You hesitate, half-relieved that he’s asking something semi-coherent. "I—I’m sorry, I’m not sure."
He nods to himself, swaying on his feet.
"I told you to wait by the bodega on 3rd," a familiar voice mutters. Spencer’s hand closes around your arm, already steering you away.
"Oh, hey," you say softly, relief washing over you. "Is this not—" You glance at the street sign overhead—4 Maple Drive. Shit. "I—sorry, I thought—"
"It’s fine," he says, but the sharp edge in his voice tells you it’s not.
The car ride is suffocatingly silent. When he pulls open the passenger door for you, there’s no trace of his usual warmth. No soft smile, no gentle tease about your perpetually dead phone. Just a click of the door and the quiet thud of it shutting behind you.
You hate this. Hate the tension humming between you, the way his jaw is set tight as he drives. He was so different this afternoon, greeting you after your final with those cupcakes he knows you love from the bakery on the other side of town, his lips brushing yours in endless, giddy kisses. This Spencer is nothing like that.
"They played ‘Dancing Queen’ tonight," you venture, voice tentative. He knows it’s your favourite. Knows it always pulls you to the dance floor, no matter how tired or tipsy you are. "It was so funny—some guy bought us a round of shots—"
"And you drank it?"
The question lands heavy. His first words to you since he’d started driving.
"Well... yeah?"
"What else did you drink?"
"Not a lot," you say quickly, tripping over your words. "Just vodka, tequila, a bit of wine—"
"You mixed?"
The way he says it makes you bristle. There’s a hint of disbelief, maybe even disappointment.
"Spence," you say softly. "I’m not that drunk, I promise."
Nothing.
His knuckles tighten on the steering wheel. The silence in the air is almost tangible, a crackling, oppressive thing. When he pulls into the driveway and kills the engine, he doesn’t move to open your door. He always does that. But not tonight.
You’re pretty sure he’s mad at you, though you’re not entirely sure why. It’s not like you go out that often, and you can���t even remember the last time you let yourself get this drunk. Tonight was an exception, a celebration. He understands, doesn’t he?
You follow him inside, trailing behind like a shadow. He doesn’t head to the kitchen like he does after you get back from a night out—no tea, no toast, no quiet ritual of making sure you’re okay. Instead, he walks straight into the study, his back to you. Yeah, he’s definitely mad.
"You’re mad at me," you say, standing in the doorway.
He doesn’t answer. His hands grip the back of his chair, his head bowed like he’s trying to gather himself. You’re not one to push, usually giving him the space he needs when he gets all broody like this, but the alcohol that’s running through your system is making it hard to practice patience.
"Why are you mad at me?"
Still nothing.
When he finally moves, it’s only to brush past you, heading for the bedroom without so much as a glance. "We’ll talk about this tomorrow," he says, his tone flat, clipped. "I can’t talk to you when you’re like this."
This. The word hits like a slap, sharp and dismissive. It irks you.
"If you didn’t want to come, then you shouldn’t have come," you mutter under your breath, the words slipping out before you can stop them. "I could’ve gotten a ride—"
"You were slurring on the phone." He stops in the hallway, turning just enough for you to see the tight set of his jaw.
"Yeah, no shit, Spencer. People slur when they drink," you fire back a little too harshly, the alcohol fueling your irritation as you cross your arms defensively.
"Don’t," he warns, his voice low, dangerous in a way that makes your chest tighten.
You glare at him, heat rising in your cheeks. "Don’t what? Don’t point out how ridiculous you’re being right now?"
He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even look at you again. He just shakes his head and walks into the bedroom. By the time you follow him, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it holds the answer to whatever’s boiling inside him. Fine. If he wants to ice you out, two can play that game.
You head to the bathroom without a word, your movements jerky as you swipe at the remnants of your makeup. You grab your moisturizer, fingers fumbling with the cap. A sharp tug and it goes flying out of your hands, clattering to the floor.
"Fuck," you mutter, bracing yourself for a bout of instability as you bend down to retrieve it.
Before you can grab it, Spencer moves. He scoops it up, straightening with an ease that feels almost mocking. When you meet his eyes, they’re unfamiliar. It’s not the Spencer you know. Not the Spencer who covers your eyes during scary movies or kisses your forehead when you’re half-asleep. No, this Spencer feels distant, cold.
"And I’m supposed to believe you’re not that drunk," he says flatly. Your chest tightens, a lump forming in your throat as heat flushes your face. He offers a hand as you steady yourself, trying to rise to your feet, but you brush him off, snatching the bottle from his grip with a bitterness you don’t try to mask.
"What the hell is your problem?" you snap.
"My problem?" he repeats, incredulous. "I’m not the one blackout drunk on a Wednesday night."
"I’m not—"
"Would you—would you just stop!" he barks, the words sharp enough to make you flinch. "You’re slurring your words. You got the streets wrong. You couldn’t even get the damn moisturizer open," he snaps, gesturing toward you harshly with a mixture of frustration and exasperation.
Your knuckles whiten as you cling to the edge of the sink, unsure if you’re holding on for balance or just to keep from breaking. You spin back toward the mirror willing yourself not to cry. The frustration, the confusion, the ache in your chest—everything wells up at once.
"God, you’re being so—"
"So what?" he interrupts, his voice rising as he steps closer. His eyes bore into yours, daring you to say it. "So concerned? So worried? So—"
"So fucking mean!"
The silence that follows deafening. For a moment, he freezes, the hard edges of his expression softening into something else—shock, regret, guilt—but it’s fleeting.
"So what if I’m drunk?" Your voice cracks as the words tumble out, your frustration too overwhelming to contain. "And yeah, maybe—" You shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat as you glare at him, "Maybe I’m slurring a little but forgive me for wanting a drink after the final I’ve been stressing over all fucking month."
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, his frustration barely contained. "It’s not about you having a drink. It’s about you not knowing your limits—"
"Oh, for fucks sake," you interrupt, throwing your hands up. The movement makes you sway slightly, and you hate how it only seems to prove his point. "Newsflash, Spencer, I’m a university student. Sometimes we get drunk. You don’t get to make me feel like shit just because you don’t drink.”
You push past him, your shoulder grazing his as you move to sit on the edge of the bed. The mattress dips under your weight, and you grip the edge, willing the room to stop spinning.
"You were being reckless," he bites back, the word hanging heavy in the air. "You don’t see what I see. You’re out alone, you don’t—"
"I wasn’t alone," you say, your voice rising to meet his. "I had friends—"
"Yeah, friends who left you alone on a curb at 3am," he shoots back, cutting you off. The words land with precision, a calculated jab, but you refuse to flinch.
"Because you said you were on the way!" you fire back.
His voice is cold now, practically seething. "And what do you think would’ve happened if I hadn’t reached you just as that guy was coming on to you?"
"He was asking for the bus!" you shoot back, the words ringing out louder than you intended. You hate everything about this fight. You hate how unfamiliar he feels, hate the part of you that wonders if you’re the one who brought this out of him. "Nothing would’ve—"
Spencer’s expression darkens, his gaze narrowing. "Nothing?" He scoffs. "Tell that to Nina Radha. To Caroline Wrenley. To Mindy Denver. They were all ‘just waiting for a ride home’ last week. And now? All abducted. All dead."
The room goes silent. Your chest tightens, and the fight drains out of you as his meaning sinks in.
"You’re being cruel," your words are barely audible, trembling on the edge of your lips. The tears come faster now, streaking your face, but you don’t bother wiping them away. "Why—" you whisper, weak and watery, "Why are you being like this?"
When Spencer finally turns to look at you, the sight of your tears stops him cold. They streak your face in uneven paths, and he feels something inside him splinter. Spencer never likes seeing you cry—he hates it, actually. It’s not just discomfort or unease; it’s a literal, physical ache. But knowing he’s the reason for your tears tonight? That’s pain in its most visceral form. It’s failure in its purest state.
"I—" he starts, his voice faltering. It cracks mid-sentence, and he stops, swallowing hard. His breath shudders as he exhales, trying to find the words, but all that comes out is a quiet, broken, "I was scared."
Your tears have momentarily slowed, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone. The anger in his voice has faded, replaced by something softer, something raw—fear, tangled with guilt, with regret. He takes a tentative step closer, then hesitates, unsure of what to do.
"I thought that… something could’ve happened to you, and I—I didn’t know how to handle it."
After a moment, he lowers himself to your level, crouching in front of you. He lifts his hand, reaching out to wipe away the tears that stain your face. But the instant his fingers near you, you flinch, turning your head to avoid his touch. The movement is small, but Spencer’s heart shatters at the rejection all the same. He hates that he’s made you cry, hates that you won’t let him near you, hates that you won’t even look at him.
"I’m sorry," he says, the words low and weighted with sincerity. He knows it’s not enough, but it’s all he has left to give.
Your tears fall, dripping onto your hands that rest limply in your lap. You shake your head, your shoulders tense, refusing to meet his eyes. The rejection stings, sharper than he expected, but he doesn’t blame you. He knows he deserves this. The room is still except for the sound of your quiet sniffles.
Spencer tries again, his voice quieter now, almost pleading. "I just—" His breath catches as he exhales, his hand running through his hair in agitation, the movement more to calm himself than anything else. "When I saw you standing there alone—alone and with that man, I got scared. And I lashed out. I shouldn’t have. You didn’t— you didn’t deserve that."
The silence that follows is thick, but finally, you break it. Your voice is quiet, bitter.
"I’m not them."
You’re still not meeting his eyes, still keeping that distance, but at least it’s something.
"Those girls… I’m not them, Spencer."
"I know, I know. I was—", his voice is low, the regret weighing heavily on every syllable.
"That case was tough on you, I know it was," you interrupt, "And what happened to those girls, it was horrible. But I'm not them, Spence. I'm not…" Spencer watches helplessly as you furiously wipe away a tear from your cheek.
"I'm not dead. I'm here."
“I was projecting, I—” His voice catches, “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” he admits quietly. You nod, grimly. Another single, heavy tear slips down your cheek and Spencer feels his heart break all over again.
"I know you’re scared. How do you think I feel every time you go out into the field?" You take a deep breath, and say bitterly, "I get it."
Each word is a struggle, but you say it with conviction. He can see how much you’re holding in, the effort it takes for you to keep your voice from cracking.
You pause, swallowing hard as you steady yourself, "But you—You don’t get to talk to me like that." When your eyes meet his, they flash with both anger and sadness. "You don’t get to take that out on me."
"I know, I—That was—I was being horrible, I was an ass," Spencer admits, his voice small. "You didn’t deserve that, honey. God, I’m just—I’m so, so, sorry."
You look at him for a long moment, searching for any sign that he’s being sincere. All you see is regret, raw and heavy. And something else, something softer. Love. He reaches out, and this time you don’t pull away. Just getting to touch you is a brief, bittersweet, blinding relief. Spencer lets his fingers graze your cheek as he wipes away your tears gently, his thumb brushing over the wet path they’ve left behind.
A soft, almost bitter laugh escapes you. "An ass is putting it lightly."
Spencer’s chest tightens, a small breath of relief escaping him, though it’s quickly replaced with guilt. "M’so sorry sweetheart," he breathes out, comforted by the familiar bite in your tone. It lightens the air between you, just a little.
He shifts to sit next to you on the bed. "I didn’t—I really didn’t mean to," he says quietly. You rest your head on his shoulder, letting out a soft sigh, the fight slowly draining out of you. Spencer gently takes your hands, cradling them in his.
"I—I never want to hurt you, never want to make you cry. Ever." Spencer's voice cracks slightly as he talks, fingers tracing your palm. "You know that, right?"
You nod, your voice small but steady. "I know."
Shifting, you tuck your legs beneath you, turning to face him fully. Your hands lift to cup his face gently, your thumbs brushing against the faint stubble on his jaw. The touch is tender, almost protective, as you guide his face to meet yours. His eyes can’t hold your gaze for long, shame clearly written across them.
"I was just—I was—" He stumbles over his words.
"Scared," you finish softly, filling the silence for him.
"I—I’m sorry," Spencer’s voice falters, "I’m really sorry honey, I should’ve never—That was—"
Your hands guide his face back toward yours, coaxing him to meet your eyes. This time, he doesn’t resist, his breath shaky as he clings to the comfort you offer. "S’okay, baby. M’not mad anymore," you murmur.
"Sad?" he asks, his voice barely audible, like he’s afraid of what you’ll say.
"No," you smile faintly, shaking your head, "Not sad, baby," you whisper, leaning closer. Your thumb traces the curve of his cheek in silent reassurance. His shoulders relax just a little. "I just—" you sigh as you let out one last, quiet sniffle, "I really hate fighting."
Carefully, he coaxes you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you. "Me too, honey," he says, his voice thick with emotion as he shifts closer. You don’t resist, letting your head rest in the crook of his neck, your breath warm against his skin.
"S’not nice," you murmur against him, your words muffled.
"I know, I know," Spencer whispers, his fingers tracing slow, soothing circles along your back. You let out a shaky sigh, sinking further into his embrace. “Was awful, wasn’t it?” he says, quietly.
"Mhm," you mumble quietly, your voice soft but pointed as you lean into his touch. "Made me cry," you say, looking at him through wet lashes to prove your point. Spencer thinks, for a split second, that he’d rather die than ever have to see you cry like that again. After a beat of quiet, he tilts his head just enough to press a soft kiss to your temple.
"I love you, you know that?"
You hum softly, nuzzling your face into his neck with a contented sigh, "Love you too."
"Love you so much, sweet girl," he says again, quieter this time, like it’s a truth meant only for you.
"Sap," you tease, lifting your head just enough to meet his gaze, the faintest hint of a smile on your lips.
Spencer grins, soft and boyish. "Always for you," he mumbles fondly, and before you can respond, he leans forward, pressing a playful kiss to the tip of your nose.
You stick your tongue out at him in mock protest, but he’s already chasing the moment. A kiss lands on your cheek. Then another on the other side. Each one dripping with easy affection.
"Spence—" you laugh, the sound bubbling up. It spreads a warmth through Spencer’s chest.
"My sweet girl," he says quietly, almost to himself.
His smile only grows as he drinks in the sound of your giggles, tears long gone. He presses a fluttering series of kisses across your form until you’re laughing into his lips, each kiss softer than the last.
One on your cheek, two on your shoulder, a thousand on your lips.
⋆✴︎˚。⋆ hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!
ᯓ★ song recs if you feel like it: false god by taylor swift moon river by frank ocean
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer x reader#spencer x self insert#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x reader angst#spencer reid x reader comfort
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Rereading Dickens Christmas Carol for the first time in a long time. And the more I reread, the more it strikes me how seamlessly a queer reading could slip within these pages. Not an especially twee reading, wherein all Scrooge's troubles start and end with grief over Jacob Marley's death. For we know that Scrooge was a "Tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner!" And we know that he and Marley were "two kindred spirits"
And perhaps that very fact makes the similarities to queer life, unintended as they most likely were by Mr. Dickens, achingly poignant to me. Scrooge is, we're told, "secret and self-contained and solitary as an oyster." How much that resonates, for so many of us who shield our innermost selves but from a select group of friends. And we know that Scrooge and Marley were, at the very least, certainly that for one another. Scrooge is Marley's sole mourner; his sole executor and beneficiary; and even Dickens notes, "friend." How reminiscent is that of queer couples across history, estranged from their families?
Scrooge lives in a set of chambers that once belonged to Marley—clearly Dickens wanted us to believe Scrooge gave up his own dwellings after Marley's death to economize. But with only a flicker of change, those chambers become _their chambers, rented by Marley as the senior member of the couple. The place is so desolate Dickens notes "one could scarcely help fancying it must have run there when it was a young house, playing at hide-and-seek with other houses, and have forgotten the way out again." The perfect abode for two queer misers who wanted no one prying into their business.
Marley's name is still above the door of Scrooge's counting-house: a mark by which, no doubt, Dickens meant to convey Scrooge such a penny-pincher he couldn't bother to have it changed. But a thing can be both! mark of frugality to ludicrous excess and! mark of mourning. "sometimes," Dickens opines, "People new to the
business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, but he answered to both names. It was all the same to him."
This is why "death of the author" matters so much, in expanding our interpretations of texts. It is vastly far from the lens Dickens would have intended. But, the idea of a ghost of queerness, so taboo in the society it could barely be glanced at sidewise in this tale that is all about the inexplicable and yet that lingers over everything becomes an astonishing lens through which to read this book. Thinking of Scrooge as a queer man, his "melancholy dinner at his usual melancholy tavern" becomes a eerie prefiguring of the hollowness of days spent by Isherwood's A Single Man. In this universe, little wonder Scrooge doubly hates mention of time with family, marriage, etc. when the precise nature of his grief is both unacknowledged and unacknowledgable.
And readings like this are vital, because the uncomfortable truth is, discrimination doesn't "discriminate between sinners and saints", to borrow a Miranda phrase. It is easy, in my liberal circles, to fight for queer people who hold "the good sorts of politics". But what about men like Michael Hess, culpable for supporting Reagan even as his contemptuous homophobia let the aids epidemic run rampant? How much harder is it to remember Michael had a partner? That he deserves empathy and compassion for being practically tarred and feathered out of the party upon his own aids diagnosis?
Expanding our imaginative universes to include queerness, not as redemptive panacea, but merely as one aspect of identity, personality, often in vicious conflict with others. Even! as we consider those stories equally worthy of being told feels vital if we're ever to truly express the complexity of what queer humanity looks like.
#forgive my less than articulate maundering#am currently listening to a truly splendid full-cast adaptation of said#Christmas Carol#and wanted to jot these things down before I forgot them in the flow of the work.#Scrooge as both! cruel bastard bitching about half a crown he'll pay Bob even though he won't be in the office on Christmas#fuming about his pockets being picked as he scathingly condemns the poor for not throwing themselves#into the oh! so! generous work-houses. And _also! deeply bereaved husband just makes him so! much more _alive and fascinating to me#if anyone knows of good Marley/Scrooge longfic where not an inch! of their dastardliness is sanded off I'd _kill for it#Jacob Marley#Ebenezer Scrooge#Ebenezer Scrooge/Jacob Marley#queer stuff#history#book babbling#lit geekery
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some years after everything and Steve and Eddie are basically the only ones left in Hawkins. They got an apartment together. They are very tight friends.
They are out together one early summer evening at Melvalds doing some shopping. Steve leaves the store first, Eddie still has his nose buried in a magazine he fully does not intend to buy.
"Steve!" Steve looks up from assessing the contents of his shopping bag to see none other that Tommy Hagan.
"Hey, Tommy. You're back in town." Steve tries to sound amicable without it being forced.
"Yeah just visiting the family. I heard you were still hanging around here. You should come visit in New York! Donna would love to meet you."
"Donna? What happened to Carol?"
"Shit, I guess I haven't seen you in a while." Tommy replied with a sharp smile that made Steve set his teeth. "She couldn't handle New York, you know. She missed her mom and didn't like how busy the city was," he explained dismissively. "She got all... moody. Depressed. She was a real downer so I told her she should just go back home and rot away if that's what she wanted... No offence," He tacked on without much remorse.
"Is she doing better? I haven't seen her around." Steve asked, hearing the tension in his voice.
"Beats me. Haven't heard from her," Tommy replied flippant, his gaze drifting off over Steve's shoulder. "Holy shit is that Munson? I should have guessed the freak would still be here."
Before Steve could figure out what to say to that besides punching Hagan in the face, Eddie was next to him, nose still in the magazine, grocery bag handing from his right elbow. "Stevie I had to buy it, you will not believe what they're saying about Ozzy... Hagan."
Steve could hear the life drop out of Eddie's voice as soon as he realized who he was standing in front of. He hated it.
"Jesus, is he crazy? Is he stalking you or something, Steve?"
"What?"
"Munson, you can chase Steve all you want, but he's not on your team, Freak." Hagan said, sniggering at Steve, like they were still in high school, like Steve was still that person.
Steve snapped.
Dredging up the suave Steve from all those years ago he draped his arm over Eddie's shoulder, making sure to give Eddie's shoulder a gentle squeeze as he did, his thumb brushing over the skin of Eddie's neck.
"I'm not sure you really know me any more, Hagan," Steve responded, cool and collected. As he said it he felt Eddie relax against him. Picking up on his plan immediately, Steve felt Eddie's arm come up behind him, his hand settling just above the hem of Steve's jeans.
"Oh, no," Tommy said through a sarcastic chuckle, "There is no way that Steve Harrington went fa--"
"If you finish that word I'll punch you so hard your freckles fall off," Steve bit out. "Have a nice trip back to New York."
With that he and Eddie turned toward his car, still holding tight to each other and not sparing Hagan another look. When they got to the car Steve pressed a kiss to Eddie's hair before they separated, Eddie's hand trailing along Steve's back.
They got in the car quietly and Steve backed out of the space, staring back toward their apartment, neither of them saying a word until they had driven a few blocks.
"I'm sorry," Steve finally gritted out into the quiet of the car.
"For what?" Eddie asked, confusion making him look over at Steve.
"For that. For him," Steve said and Eddie noticed how hard he was gripping the wheel.
"Steve, pull over." Steve sighed and pulled the car over to the side of the road; forest on one side, sleepy houses on the other. "Why are you apologizing for him?"
"Just..." Steve let out a sharp breath. He hadn't looked at Eddie yet. "Seeing him again. Hearing that garbage we used to..." Steve wrung the steering wheel like he was trying to break it "It was like I was back in high school calling Jonathan... that, and... Hagan just brought all of it back! All the shit!"
"Hey! Okay, Stevie, hey," Eddie reached out to gently touch Steve's arm, trying to bring him back. "That's him, not you."
"It was me!" He yelled, finally turning to Eddie.
"Was, Steve, was," Eddie replied, turning in his seat so he could face Steve. "You are not the same person you were in high school, not by a long fucking shot."
Steve hung his head and took a deep breath.
"And you're are not Tommy Hagan." Eddie added and then waited. Waited while Steve calmed. He gave a slight nod of his head.
"I'm sorry I used you like that," Steve finally said.
"What?"
"Pretending we were together. It was the only thing I could think to do."
"Stevie, I am never opposed to having a stud of your caliber on my arm." Eddie grinned as he watched Steve try to fight off a smile. "Besides, the only reason I didn't try to rip his face off is 'cuz your arm was around me. One more second and Carol would have needed a new boyfriend."
"He left Carol."
"What?"
"She got depressed in New York and he dumped her."
Eddie was silent for a while. "That's awful."
Steve nodded.
After a moment Eddie shifted so he was sitting straight in his seat. "Let's go, Stevie. The ice cream should be in our stomaches by now."
Steve nodded and pulled back onto the road.
"Thank you, by the way." Eddie added.
"My pleasure." Steve smarmed at him.
"Oh I bet it was. You can't resist all this, I know." Eddie said, tossing his hair over his shoulder.
"Oh, baby! Ow!" Steve hooted as Eddie cackled. "Oh I am so telling Robin about this on our next call," He chuckled.
(possible part 2 where they realize their feelings but like... don't hold your breath)
(lmao couldn't stop thinking about it, here's part 2)
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Danny’s chaos with the Lantern Corps
Lantern Corps Shenanigans
[Danny with the Indigo Tribe]
Danny: [confused, looking at glowing purple Lanterns] So… you guys are all about compassion? Indigo-1: It is a power most misunderstood but deeply effective. Danny: That’s cool and all, but how do you fight with compassion? Hug people into submission? Indigo-1: [smiles serenely] Something like that. Danny: [turns to Hal] Okay, this one might be too wholesome for me.
[Danny Accidentally Meets Larfleeze, the Orange Lantern of Avarice]
Larfleeze: [hissing, clutching his orange ring] MINE! Danny: Whoa, chill, Tangerine Nightmare. I don’t even want your ring. Larfleeze: [growling] Everything you want belongs to me! Danny: [grinning mischievously] Oh, really? Then I totally want a pet ghost dragon. Larfleeze: [pauses, conflicted] …I don’t have one of those. Danny: [floating off] Thought so. Later!
[Danny Teams Up with a Violet Lantern]
Star Sapphire (Carol Ferris): Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Danny: [grimacing] I dunno about that. Love’s more Sam’s thing. Star Sapphire: And what drives you, young one? Danny: Mostly snacks and spite. Does that count? Star Sapphire: …We’ll work on that.
[Danny at the Green Lantern Bootcamp]
Kilowog: Alright, Poozer, time for training! Let’s see what you’re made of. Danny: [phasing through the ground] Made of ectoplasm and bad decisions, thanks. Kilowog: [laughing] Kid, you’re alright.
[Lantern Corps Debate]
Hal Jordan: He’s too unpredictable to join the Corps. Kilowog: He’s got guts, though. Saint Walker: His hope shines brightly. Sinestro: He could wield fear effectively. Larfleeze: MINE! Danny: [floating nearby, munching on chips] You guys know I can hear you, right?
#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny is a little shit#dps fandom#danny fenton#ghost king danny#danny phantom#dc x dp crossover#batfam#larfleeze#hal jordan#green lantern#sinestro#sassy danny#blue lantern#red lantern#black lantern#yellow lantern#lantern corps#danny being danny#dad?#i have so many thoughts#i dont fucking know#what the fuck#im doing#kilowog#saint walker#dc comics#atrocitus#nekron
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