#// can you believe i love irony
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This was easily one of the best Lupin episodes
#there will be a rant in the tags that you can ignore#but it is so upsetting how modern/current lupin took away the depths of these characters and flimsily tries to restore their earlier depth#i'm one of those people who craves depth in what i watch and it's so difficult to like this franchise because it will be so close to doing#something interesting only to abandon it#this episode and part one as a whole was peak lupin in my opinion with each character having emotional depth yet flaws to overcome#yet modern lupin would have you believe that these characters don't desire to improve in any capacity#if we were to just focus on Goemon for example right here he shows depth with revealing hidden emotional maturity and empathy for Lupin by#comforting him and admitting he himself is afraid (which is a big deal for a character like him who is supposed to be unflinching)#but in modern lupin goemon will literally say that he's not afraid of anything and this is written without any hint of irony or depth#i'm okay with mindless entertainment and i understand that this is a series simply about stealing but the character assassination is so#disappointing#and when this series does try to be “deep” they pick the most triggering subject matter possible to depict to the point where it's#practically unwatchable (this is in reference to Part 4 and its constant SA plots as well as the rampant gratuitous child abuse plots#throughout the entire series)#i want so badly to love lupin the 3rd but it's a huge problem when fanfiction understands the characters better than the source material#lupin iii#lupin the third#lupin the 3rd#goemon ishikawa xiii#goemon#arsene lupin iii#jigen daisuke#daisuke jigen#fujiko mine#part 1
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people actually went on about how game of thrones made it socially acceptable to be a fantasy nerd, as though the lord of the rings movies hadn't been released less than a decade earlier and left far greater cultural ripples and i am just
got may have made the adults feel better about liking fantasy, but lotr got into the kids' heads when they (we) were just young and impressionable enough to be absolutely transported and emotionally rewritten by don't you leave him, samwise gamgee and my brother, my captain, my king and and rohan will answer
lotr was rewriting entire generations' brain chemistry long before asoiaf and so obviously it's not fair to compare any post-lotr fantasy novel to it, and each book series was trying to do different things within their own spheres and so that also is not a fair comparison, but in terms of the cultural impact of the adaptations that came out within a decade of each other, saying that it was game of thrones that made fantasy mainstream is baffling
game of thrones could only run because the lord of the rings movies laid the path, and i will die on this hill
#lotr#lord of the rings#lord of the rings movies#i started this post because ''may it be'' came up on my playlist but now i think i'm going to start my nth rewatch of the trilogy#there is a lot to discuss about it re: comparison to the books but it's like...#for all the changes they made - good and bad and neutral - everyone involved in making the films *loved* the source material#they all *wanted* to do justice to it and believed in it and it shows#i think of some posts i've seen about how frustrating this modern push towards tongue-in-cheek irony over sincerity#so afraid to be corny or cheesy that you have to tack a joke onto every real emotional moment#like no fuck that#give me sam hauling frodo onto his shoulders saying ''i can't carry it for you but i can carry you''#give me aragorn gently kissing boromir's forehead as he dies#give me merry and pippin throwing themselves at the uruk hai to distract them from frodo#give me theoden's grand speeches and gandalf's pained expression when frodo says he'll carry the ring#tbh i think that sincerity is a large part of *why* it has such staying power even now#because it is a story you are meant to get deeply emotionally invested in and not hold yourself a little ironically apart from#it isn't meant to sell merch it's meant to bring you to middle-earth and capture your heart and make you believe that the war can be won#with love and loyalty and hope and fellowship and fidelity and integrity and just... just refusing to give in to despair#it is earnest. it is unafraid to be melodramatic or corny because it believes in the story it's telling.#and so it imprinted onto a whole generation growing up right at the cusp of a barrage of apocalypses#anyway. i have Feelings about these movies and their impact and how that mirrors and enhances the books' own impact
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odd little comic that’s been in the drafts for a while
#ichiruki#kurosaki ichigo#kuchiki rukia#artist life#bleach art life#bleach fanart#bleach#the vague idea behind this was. the first three and a bit pages#before the very long vertical dash#that's all rukia dreaming#but the last two pages is real life#and the irony of rukia dreaming that ichigo will do and say all these cruel things to her#and she just thinks. ah yeah that's normal. that's reasonable#but the moment he tells her he loves her#that's what she thinks is a fantasy....#the idea that nothing ichigo can do or say to her will be crueller than. i love you#idk im doing a spectacularly horrible job at explaining it. i believe in death of the author anyway#if you didn't get what i meant to convey with this through the pictures alone#that just means i need to improve on my visual storytelling
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throwing out just One more hot dean and jack take while it’s on my brain but I honestly think dean gives jack a little more autonomy than sam and cas do . Maybe.
#heavy on cas bc I feel he’s a bit more … coddling? ? than Sam is ?#sam just kind of leaves jack to himself and vaguely offers support or advice#but Dean is the only one we’ve seen on screen that has a MUTUAL connection w jack#like their entire start and end conversations in Optimism abt needing to stay busy & blaming themselves#they GET each other#cas is just. idk#the argument he had with jack in 14x0…2 I believe ..#like jack is just CONSTANTLY trying to get ppl to understand that he makes his own choices and can handle himself#I cannot stress enough that he hates being treated like a helpless child.#there’s so much situational irony with that lmaooo#anyways#this is like half thought out I fear#I miss my guys#cal.txt#spn#supernatural#jack kline#dean winchester#dean and jack#tfw2.0#sam winchester#sam and jack#cas#cas and jack#like I do love Sam and cas as dads they’re all his dads . dean is just my favorite im sorry#if I said people don’t like dean as a dad that much bc he doesn’t infantilize jack …… would you brain me with a rock ….. be honest#liek … Idk#I am noticing patterns and I do not like them or the common theme they share#goodnight gang
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About people on this site hating transmen, I wanted to say I'm transfem (although extremely closeted) (red state, and not independent...) but like I delayed coming to that realization for a longer time than I should have because it seemed like every time I looked at a popular transfem blogger on this site they just hated transmen so it kind of pushed me away because I didn't feel that way... It really bothers me because I have a lot of transmasc mutuals (and finally found non-infighting wonderful transfem mutuals as well) and I love all them, and am genuinely really bothered by the infighting that just... I don't understand the purpose of or what it accomplishes other than making us easier targets... Anyways from this #girl <3 you transmen and mascs!
WE LOVE YOU TOO!!! and i totally get where youre coming from, its a good thing you didnt let it completely stop you because i cannot stress enough how this infighting bullshit is EXTREMELY online
I've had trans women and transfeminine people in my life for years, including childhood friends, and not once has this been something that created any tension between me and them or between them and their other transmasculine friends. i started taking very long recurring breaks from tumblr circa 2018 and when i came back and actually started engaging with other users again i noticed that tumblr developed an immense bubble/echo chamber problem since then, specifically with jaded trans and gay people.
i definitely think a lot of the downright extreme discourse opinions we're seeing are a result of too much time spent surrounded by the same group of very similar people constantly patting each others asses over escalating resentful 'takes' that they posted for validation in the first place. it's a vicious cycle that encourages more and more resentment and bitterness..
i don't think these people are inherently bad or malicious, i think they're misguided and stuck in a feedback loop with an antisocial coping mechanism. if i could talk to them now i would urge them to go outside more and look at people in their eyes more often, even if the people they see aren't necessarily queer. just being exposed to other people in the real world and their multifaceted lives can do a lot to keep you from always assuming the worst about others, and it's a nice reminder that you're not the protagonist of life or gay people.
#thank you for the sweet ask <3#with enough genuine kindness and unbridled love we can fix tumblr's antisocial irony poisoning addiction. i believe it
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inverted murder mystery: "who the fuck killed my archnemesis? i need to thank them personally"
#spoilers + meta for my own fic (a monster might begin to worry) in the tags below bc i just reread it and cried but#if magnus was less depressed and more assured of his own worthiness of being stood up for and protected#then ammbtw would have almost immediately turned into this#instead it doesn't really become this until the final chapter - where magnus finally believes that protecting him was the right thing#before that - when he did have the capacity to “solve” the case; and obviously even *did* solve it with some help -#he was so torn up over motive. over *why* someone would've intervened. and because mags thought so poorly of himself -#he wasn't convinced that killing kalen *was* a heroic act. because sure; magnus felt that kalen deserved it#but he also felt that *he* was getting off easy. that he wasn't having to atone for *his* perceived failures#in that last chapter though. in that last chapter. just when he's lost the ability to remember or comprehend the answer#which is the *same* time he finally claws his way up into good enough mental health to believe that he deserves nice things#*that's* when he finally wants to do my little shitpost above. to give the murderer a truly heartfelt thank you#and the irony is that the killer is right under his nose... and magnus doesn't know; and can never ever know#but instead of being a dark ending a la “the murderer committed the perfect crime and got away; where will they strike next?”#it's a “magnus is safe and loved and supported” ending :) even if he still doesn't know the lengths his family's gone to for him#because he's getting to a place where he can be happy without knowing all the answers :)#a monster might begin to worry
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I don’t know what I expected today, but I most definitely did not expect to be told, in Russian, that I deserve to die by strangulation bc I’m not “fulfilling my destiny” by choosing not to have kids.
#context this was on a YouTube comment directed at me out of idk how many similar comments#apparently being born with a uterus means your entire life’s purpose is to have children#was also called selfish for being child-free#the irony here is how much I love kids#I love my role as auntie and supporting those kids#I literally LOVED working with kids the most in all my time in health care#though I haven’t chosen a speciality I know I want to go into a specialty that allows me to work with kids at least some of the time#I may very well do rural FM and end up delivering a fair few babies#but nah since I’m not birthing them out of my own vagina I’m literally useless#was likely just an internet troll but they may also really believe what they’re saying#oh they also told me that my marriage / any partnership is pointless without kids#seems like they think the only differences bw married and just friends is money and sex#and ofc sex without reproduction is let fulfilling your destiny omfg#fun fact y’all a marriage type relationship can just be about support and connection that you want with only that one person!#ugh people suck
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does anyone think it's kind of fucked up that seimei is absolutely doing to nisei what he did (and is still doing) to soubi and we're all just like yeah that's fine fuck that guy
#IT IS NOT FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#you don't have to like him but it most certainly is not fine!!!!!!!!!!!!#idk i think we've sort of turned soubi into a bit of a perfect victim archetype. i mean not all the way but i feel like he does something-#fucked up and we sigh and roll our eyes and are like hopefully he becomes normal soon cuz i want to root for him#and understand the tragedy of him doing those things#but nisei is a lot more resistant to this interpretation partly i think because the manga is more up front about presenting him as--#an asshole and partly because nisei believes himself to be an asshole#nisei is an abuser and a monster he is not a perfect victim#i think we see soubi's past and can kind of understand where he's coming from and why he thinks the way he does#we've seen a lot less of nisei's past but from what i gather he's been very isolated all his life#like as soubi's foil it's like#soubi was ''loved'' too much and nisei it seems was never loved at all#more beloved theme naming irony but anyway.#nisei is a victim too.#i'm less interested in who is a bigger victim and how much of an allowance of forgiveness that entails than i am with like#the systems that have allowed nisei to become this isolated in the first place. all he wants is to be. well. beloved#but that's the thing that's going to destroy him.#because every safety net and avenue out has been systematically cut off by seimei.#like what sort of support system is there for people who have done the things he's done to well. stop doing those things.#if nisei escapes seimei he will no longer be. beloved*. he will have no one. he will have to face the fate of being. erm. loveless.#if you will.#and i think that's a fate that a lot of the named paired will have to grapple with in some way or another.#finding identity outside of a self destructive power structure.#anyway nisei is soooooooo much more interesting once you acknowledge him as soubi's foil. to me they are basically the same guy. tbqh.#just. going in different directions.............#you know. how foils work. you understand.#*wrt both the identity sense the way all the pairs are wrapped up in their unhealthy soulmate spiral#but also in the sense that he will have to reckon with the fact that he was once again never truly loved because seimei does! not! love him
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(ripping my hair out by the handful) Sol Is Not Trapped In The Time Loop Sol Is There Because They Choose To Be
#life on earth i am begging you please get life on earth#teenexo stuff#this is my biggest adn pettiest pet peeve but every time a fic is tagged fix it abt either#a) sol leaving the time loop or#b) dys not [redacted]#i start ripping out my hair. please. please. please#the irony is besk lives au actually does hit point b eventually however. however#i dont think its a fix it for him to do it or not do it i think its just a choice he can choose to make#i really do honestly and genuinely believe its fine and morally neutral and not a bad thing#i dont think relationships need to last forever to be deep and meaningful and i think dys staying for sol for so long is already like#a sign of his love and how much he cares for them. like. i think its fine. i genuinely do think its fine that he goes#idk theres a quote from this book i really like thats smth like uhhh#your lover doesnt belong to you they are choosing to lend themself to you every day#and i think abt that w/rt dys/sol a lot its just good u kno#dys stays for sol because he loves them. he leaves because he wants to do that too#and i think the act of him staying bc he loves them is really nice! having the time together they have is nice!#idk i also dont think sol would be able to be like....... With dys long term if they didnt understand/acknowledge this at least a little?#basically. i think there are circumstances where dys wouldn't do it but i dont think those are fix-its lol#ANYWAYS clambers back off my soap box#this wasnt even what i came here to complain about#ok back to packing byeeeeeee#i was a teenage exocolonist spoilers ?#probably somewhere in there im guessing
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nostalgia is a snake pit and a spike trap. Why do I only want to write historical fiction when researching historical fiction is so hard
#Love to have a new story idea but it takes place in another country in the 70s so i will have to read a minimum of two books#In order to write a version of it that doesn’t make me want to pull my teeth out#Can’t stop thinking about nostalgia the past is another country you can never visit the past is a vaseline blur on a camera lens#maybe because the future feels impossible and the present inescapable?#maybe because I want to believe in precedent?#maybe because irony annoys me and most contemporary books are bad?#who knows#I just haven’t wanted to write a story that takes place here and now in#a long time#Blah blah blah#Whatever
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He’s still watching them when he feels something whack him hard on the arm; when he turns around, Jiang Cheng is towering over him, a wooden practice sword in his hands and a scowl on his face.
“What are you staring for?” He thrusts the training sword at Wei Wuxian. “At least go make yourself useful!”
STOP BEING MEAN TO HIM. real talk a big issue that a lot of reconciliation fics have is taking for granted that the audience even wants to reconciliation to happen. tbf if someone's reading a reconciliation fanfic it's probably because they're already a jc fan and want to see their relationship repaired, but if it's just part of a general postcanon work, I feel like the author needs to put in the work. what does jc bring to wwx's life? why is this relationship valuable and worth preserving? what would wwx lose if he was cut off from jc permanently? what changes do they both have to make to make that happen, and it is worth it for them? because if you can't convince me that wwx is better off with jc in his life (and a vast majority of fics can't), then I'm not going to like the fic
#that does not make for good character drama if you want the audience to be invested in them becoming close again methinks!#like. so many reconciliation fics just make it seem like jc is an unrepentant shithead who wwx is way better off without#'they were brothers' WHAT DOES THAT MEANNNN#is jc going to go back to trying to protect him?#is he going to put aside his anger and remember their family together?#are they going to get to a place where they can sincerely joke around and have fun together again?#is he going to offer him affection without layers of sarcasm and irony which is the only way wwx will believe him?#will he apologize for the harm he's caused? etc.#im just sick of jc's personality in fics...I like him in canon but fic jc is the worst and we're expected to love him#did you people even watch the show#ficblogging
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"I understand the anguish of being separated from family."
#kaeya//open#[ look!!!!#I am loving this icon layout so much#and it even looks spiffy with in game icons#ALSO CAN YOU BELIEVE#this is one of his in-game lines just#no irony#full sincerity#he Gets It ]
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Zionists quoting the Quran and dropping leaflets of the out of context ayah is cruel. There is no other word for it. It’s beyond inhumane to take that verse and use it against Palestinians, specifically the ones from Khan Younis, a village in the South of Gaza.
instagram
It’s in reference to Noah’s Ark. The glorious irony though? The ayah right after talks about Allah saving him (Noah) from the flood.
#Instagram#i know a lot of people don’t believe in religion or aren’t Muslims#but utilizing our holy book and trying to turn it against them? against other Muslims? insane.#zionists were never smart though.#this is kind of why i’m not gonna tag this like i usually do i know a lot of people probably wouldn’t feel comfortable with the religious#aspect present here but i wanted to emphasize how you cannot utilize the text against Muslims.#you can spin whatever you want out of context but the very fact that the next verse speaks of salvation from the flood? the very one#they’re saying they’ll send? yeah. i love irony.#free palestine#btw feel the need to mention these people aren’t necessarily all from khan younis#they’ve been displaced there hence the tenta#but given the relentless bombing on khan younis it wouldn’t be surprising if there were residents of khan younis amongst them#ceasefire now and immediately and an end to the brutal occupation and existence of apartheid states
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From Chuck Tingle, author of the USA Today bestselling Camp Damascus, comes a new heart-pounding story about what it takes to succeed in a world that wants you dead. Misha is a jaded scriptwriter who has been working in Hollywood for years, and has just been nominated for his first Oscar. But when he's pressured by his producers to kill off a gay character in the upcoming season finale―"for the algorithm"―Misha discovers that it's not that simple. As he is haunted by his past, and past mistakes, Misha must risk everything to find a way to do what's right―before it's too late.
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BURY YOUR GAYS cover has been released today and theres something TRULY INCREDIBLE about it, something that bends timelines and melts away the edges of the void and brings tears to my eyes. can you see it? let me explain in a thread as you PREORDER NOW...
for nearly ten years i have been publishing my stories despite pushback that they are too odd. us buckaroos are the outsiders, but this community has kicked open the door for art that is sincere and strange and beautifully unique. that is my trot and that is OUR trot as buds
we came out of nowhere and made CAMP DAMASCUS a usa today bestseller. every step of the way that book overperformed. buds were CONFUSED that a book from ‘silly meme erotica author’ could take flight. but us buckaroos knew it was inevitable because we know the power of love
i still recall the question ‘are you SURE you do not want a new horror pen name?’ HECK NO i am proud of the tingleverse. i am not ashamed of these queer erotic stories i drag up from bottom of my heart and spill with raw sincerity across irony poisoned timelines
i have been mocked my whole life as author that is ‘ridiculous no-content meme’ by those who have never read it. that my work is ‘not real��. i have been mocked for my autism and queerness and told THIS WOULD NEVER WORK. which brings me back to cover of my new book BURY YOUR GAYS
looks like the name chuck tingle is NOT a liability for the mainstream. all devils who doubted can gaze upon this cover and see bold CHUCK TINGLE staring back at them PROUDLY from the shelf in all its queer autistic glory... HOVERING ABOVE THE TITLE AND JUST AS BIG AND PROUD
thank you nightfire and chucks manager and chucks agent for believing in me. these buds have always had my back. thanks to BUCKAROO COMMUNITY who have always supported my way, this next step in our trot is not just about me IT IS ABOUT US. we kick open these doors together
so heres to making this world a little more unique and strange for those of us who are, ourselves, unique and strange. heres to bending timelines to us, instead of us bending to them. heres to name CHUCK TINGLE big and bold ABOVE the title on a big five traditional published book
and remember the best way to support an author, especially someone on outside pushing their way in, is to PREORDER THEIR BOOK. because of publishing business model it is SO IMPORTANT so if you would like to support chuck then PREORDER BURY YOUR GAYS NOW
#bury your gays#tingleverse#chuck tingle#love is real#queer#horror#lgbtqia#actually autistic#misha#buckaroo lifestyle#lets trot#queer horror
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Instructions
Irene x Male Reader
word count: 3.2K
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You drive up to Irene's mansion, where every inch of the lawn looks meticulously manicured, and the fountain at the entrance shoots water in a pattern that can only be described as "obscenely expensive." You still can't believe you were hired to train a woman who doesn't seem to need a single day in the gym, but money is money, right?
You step out of the car and walk to the front door, a massive wooden structure that probably weighs more than your car. Before you have the chance to knock, the door opens as if the house has been eagerly awaiting your arrival. Irene appears, and the first thing you think is that the photos simply don't do her justice.
She's like an upgraded version of a classic diva, someone with a beauty that would be admired in any era of humanity, now enhanced by all the improvements time could offer. Black hair cascading in soft waves, feline eyes that devour you in a fraction of a second, and a posture that makes you wonder if you're standing before a queen or a trap disguised as a woman.
"Oh, I was excited to finally meet my personal trainer," she says.
"Ms. Irene," you reply, offering your hand in a gesture that feels outdated in her presence. Her hand is soft and firm, and the grip is just enough to make you feel that you are, without a doubt, in foreign territory.
"Come on, I'll show you the house," she says, turning quickly without waiting for a response. You follow her, walking through a house that is a maze of marble, stainless steel, and glass. Every piece of art on the walls screams in a flamboyant way, "I have more money than you can imagine," and the faint scent of fresh flowers lingers in the air, as if even the aroma of the house was custom-made.
"This here is the living room," she says, passing through a room larger than your entire apartment, and you pretend not to be impressed. "And over there is the kitchen. You might need something to drink after the workouts. Or during, if I decide to tire you out too much."
She smiles again, and this time you can’t help but smile back, with that kind of irony that only arises when you know you're in trouble.
"This is the bedroom," she says, stopping in front of a closed door. You feel the tension rise a bit, and she notices it. "Not that you’ll need it, but I thought you'd like to know where it is." She opens the door and reveals a room that looks like it came straight out of a decor magazine: an immense bed, silk sheets, and a view of the garden that seems hand-painted.
"Nice place," you say, more out of politeness than anything else.
"Thank you. Now, the gym," she says, as if this was the true purpose of the entire visit. She leads you to a room where all the exercise machines seem to shine with newness. "I need to stay in shape, after all," she says, leaning casually on a treadmill, her posture suggesting that the idea of sweat is something completely alien.
"Shall we begin, then?" you ask, already pulling out the water bottle from your bag, trying to appear professional.
You decide to start the session with the basics, which seems like the best approach when dealing with someone whose idea of physical effort probably consists of reaching for the remote control.
"So, Irene, have you trained before?" you ask, but in your mind, she doesn’t exactly look like the type who frequents a gym.
She smiles, that smile you're already beginning to associate with trouble. "Only if you count marathon shopping trips and half-hour Pilates sessions with my instructor who told me to breathe deeply and think of happy places. Does that count?"
You smile back. "Well, let's start with something simple. A warm-up. Just to prepare the muscles."
"Oh, I love a good warm-up," she replies.
You guide her through some basic stretches, and of course, she starts asking for help. "Can you show me how to do this one? I've always had trouble with it," she says while trying to touch her toes.
You approach, placing your hands on her waist to guide her, trying to ignore the fact that she’s perfumed for a workout. "Like this, push a little further forward... That’s it."
She lets out a soft sigh, almost inaudible, but you notice. "I don't think I've ever had someone help me like this," she says, making you realize that "help" has multiple connotations for her.
"Practice makes perfect," you respond, trying to stay focused.
After the warm-up, you lead her to the weight machines. "Let's start with something simple, like the leg extension machine. This will work your quadriceps."
She looks at the machine as if it were some kind of medieval torture device. "Quadriceps... Right. And this does what exactly? Makes me gain muscles?"
"Exactly. You sit here, adjust the weight, and lift your legs to extend the knee. It’s great for toning the thighs."
She sits down, but instead of following your instructions, she just pretends to be confused. "I don't think I'm getting it. Can you show me again?"
You lean in to help her adjust the position of her legs, and you feel her gaze fixed on you. "Like this? Is it good now?" she asks, her voice softer than it should be for a simple exercise instruction.
"Yes, it's perfect," you reply.
"So, have you been training for a long time?" she asks as you guide her through the exercise. "It’s noticeable, you know... by your physique, the way you explain…"
"I’ve been training for a few years. It’s a passion of mine."
"Passion? Interesting," she says. "And are you single? Or is there someone waiting for you at home after you spend the day helping women like me stay in shape?"
You hesitate, realizing that the conversation is veering off course.
"I'm single. I guess my work takes up most of my time. What about you? You told me your husband is always traveling, right?"
"He's away most of the time, yes. His work is... demanding. But luckily, I know how to take care of myself," she says, lifting her legs on the machine with a little more enthusiasm. When Irene was done, she paused to drink water, then walked between the machines until she chose the next one. “Hey, help me here. I don't want to mess up the movement, I need your guidance." She says, standing in front of the lat pulldown machine.
"Oh, great. This one’s for your back and shoulders," you explain, adjusting the weight. "You hold here, pull the bar down, and then release slowly, feeling the resistance."
She looks at the machine as if it were an abstract art piece.
"Looks complicated. Show me how it's done?"
You demonstrate the movement, feeling her eyes on every motion of your body. When you finish, she positions herself, but instead of pulling the bar, she holds it for a second, looking at you with a false expression of confusion. "I think I’m not doing it right. Can you guide me?"
You approach again, this time placing your hands on her arms, helping her execute the movement. "Like this," you say, your voice a little lower. "Pull with your back muscles, not just your arms."
"Since you’ve been working out for a long time, you must be very strong," she comments as she pulls the bar, her muscles tensing softly under your hands. "And you must be used to lifting heavy, right?"
"It depends on the workout," you respond, trying to ignore the fact that every word she says seems to have a double meaning. "But it’s always good to vary, to do a bit of everything."
"So, how many of these should I do?" she asks, as if she’s genuinely interested in the answer, but her eyes say something else.
"Let's do three sets of twelve reps," you reply, trying to keep a professional tone. She does the first set with you close by, watching every movement, and then asks for your help with the next machine.
The dynamic continues until, by the end of the workout, she’s sweating, but in a way that looks more like a healthy glow than discomfort. She stretches, her muscles relaxing, and looks at you with that same smile that started everything. "I think you made me work pretty hard today. Maybe I’ll need a massage afterward," she says, her tone provocative.
You smile, unsure whether to take her seriously or laugh. "Massages aren’t part of the package, but we can talk about a relaxation stretch."
"We’ll see," she says, stepping closer with that smile that always precedes trouble, the kind you should have learned to avoid. “It seems like I’m the only one sweating here,” she says, with a sweetness that’s pure venom, before leaning in and, without warning, licking your cheek.
You take a step back, your heart pounding in your chest. "Ms. Irene, what is this?!"
"I told you, you’re not very sweaty. And I licked you to prove it," she responds with the casualness of someone asking the time.
"But what the hell does that mean? I came here to work—"
"And you’ll get paid at the end, of course!" she interrupts, her smile widening in a way that only makes things worse. “I just want… to have a little fun with you. Include that in the deal. You could earn a bonus for it, if you’d like.”
She takes another step forward.
“Irene, you’re married. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not a good idea.”
“No one needs to know, sweetheart,” she whispers, as if it were a secret you truly wanted to hear. “You’re too young to be so worried about life.”
You try to speak, but the words come out jumbled, as if your mouth forgot how to work.
“I-I… This isn’t right.”
She laughs, a sound that makes you feel like a mischievous boy caught in the act. “I bet I’ll make you change your mind once you see what you’re missing.” With a quick, decisive movement, she removes her top, revealing small, pale, perfect, and provocative breasts. Her smile widens, and you feel your face flush with heat. Worse than that—you feel your cock pulse in your pants.
“What do you think?” she asks, each word dripping with irony and certainty.
“Cover yourself, please!” Your voice comes out louder than you intended, but the plea is almost pathetic.
“Oh, don’t play the saint with me,” she retorts, suddenly stepping closer, grabbing your hand with firm resolve and placing it on her breast. The touch is warm and soft. You swallow hard, but it feels like the lump in your throat is stuck there for good. And the worst part? You can’t pull your hand away.
“What do you think? My boobs are small, but they fit perfectly in your mouth,” she teases, her voice lower, more intense.
“This isn’t right, Ms. Irene…” you try, but your resistance is fragile.
“Shh! Just call me Irene,” she orders, and before you can protest again, she seals any chance of escape with a kiss—warm and commanding, as if she already knew you wouldn’t say no.
Before you could even process what was happening, Irene had already wrapped her hand around your cock. With force. With a desire that you felt reverberate down your spine. “You’re so hard for me,” she whispers, her lips pulling away from yours, but the heat of her proximity still clinging to your skin.
“Irene…” you murmur, the name escaping as a whisper, almost a plea, but for what? For her to stop or to keep going?
“That’s right,” she continues, giving you no room to regain control. “I want to hear you moan my name while you fuck me good.”
Before you could refuse—or worse, agree—she pulls you toward a weight bench like she’s practiced the move a thousand times. It’s astonishing how a woman so small, so delicate, can exert such absolute control over you. You feel like a toy in her hands, powerless to resist.
You take off your shirt while she kneels to untie your shoes, making sure every detail is perfect, that you’re comfortable—but not for you, for her. When she asks you to take off the rest, you comply without question, feeling the cool air caress your exposed skin. She compliments your physique, her words sliding over your skin like hot oil. Her hands roam over your muscles, her fingers tracing the contours of your biceps.
“You’re so hot,” she murmurs, kissing your chest, her lips warm and soft. The excitement builds within you, uncontrollable, wild.
You sit back down on the bench, Irene kneels between your legs, her smile a mix of wickedness and pure desire. She takes your cock with a confidence that makes you hold your breath, her touch firm, almost possessive. “Wow… you’re much bigger and thicker than my husband,” she murmurs, licking the tip, teasing, while her eyes remain fixed on yours. “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have something like this… I’m going to love gagging on this cock.”
She slowly opens her mouth, her lips stretching around the head of your cock, and the sensation is mind-blowing. You watch, mesmerized, as she starts to take you in, inch by inch, until her mouth is completely full. “Oh, yes,” she mumbles with difficulty, her words muffled as she struggles to accommodate your size.
She begins to move her head up and down, faster and faster, the wet, warm sound of her mouth creating a steady rhythm. Her small mouth adjusts to your cock, fighting the instinct to pull away, but instead, she pushes forward, making it clear she wants more.
The sight of her, drowning on your cock, is almost unbearably arousing. You can’t resist, your hands go to her hair, pulling to gain more control. With a decisive move, you push deeper into her throat, and the muffled moan she lets out is a mix of pleasure and challenge. “Just like that,” she moans, tears welling in her eyes from pleasure and effort, but with no intention of stopping. She wants this as much as you do.
You feel her throat tightening around your cock, each movement sending waves of pleasure through you as she takes you as deep as she can, not giving up even when her air becomes scarce. The mix of pain and pleasure on her face only fuels your desire further, and you continue, deeper and deeper, until she finally has to stop to breathe, gasping, but with a satisfied, lascivious smile on her face.
Irene stands up, her gaze burning with a desire that mirrors your own. She starts to take off her leggings, revealing she’s not wearing any panties. The sight of her like this, naked and ready, is enough to take your breath away.
Without a second thought, you grab her firmly, your hands holding her slim waist as you lift her off the ground with an ease you didn’t even know you had. Irene lets out a low, sensual moan as she wraps her legs around you, locking her ankles behind your back, pulling the two of you even closer. With a decisive movement, you press her against the nearest wall, the cold concrete contrasting with the growing heat between you.
“Ohhh, yes,” she moans as you penetrate her for the first time, her head falling back, hitting the wall, but she doesn’t seem to care. “You’re so thick!”
With each thrust, Irene responds with louder, more desperate moans. “Just like that, baby… more, please, more!” Her voice is a mix of command and plea, her nails digging into your shoulders, pulling you closer, as if she wants to merge with you.
“That’s it! Oh, God! You fuck me better than my husband!”
That somehow spurs you on, every movement becoming deeper, stronger, as if you’re trying to shove every inch of yourself into her. Irene bites her lip, her face in pure pleasure, and then she starts babbling, as if facial expressions weren’t enough to describe what she’s feeling. “Yes… fuck me… fuck me hard… do what my husband never could…”
But she’s not the only one on the edge. The heat of her body, the almost painful tightness around your cock, every moan and sigh, it all makes you want more, makes you lose control.
After what feels like both an eternity and an instant, you feel like you need more. With a quick move, you pull away from the wall and carry her to the bench. Irene drops to the floor, turns around, positioning herself on all fours while you sit down. She positions herself, slowly lowering onto your cock, moaning as she feels you stretch inside her, filling every inch.
She leans back against you, her head resting on your shoulder, her body sinking even further into your lap. Your hands immediately move to her small breasts, squeezing them, while your lips find her delicate neck, biting and sucking the soft skin. Irene lets out a loud moan, the sound of pure satisfaction, and arches her body, pushing herself even deeper.
“Yes… leave a mark… mark that you were here… that you fucked me like no one ever has,” she pleads, her words breathless, interrupted by moans that only grow louder as you squeeze and thrust into her.
You don’t hesitate, biting harder, leaving a visible mark on her neck, a testament to what’s happening. Irene shudders in response, her pussy tightening even more around you, each of her movements sending waves of pleasure through you, making you forget any shred of morality. She moves against you, her rhythm frantic, the need for more, always more, evident in every gesture.
“Yes… yes, baby… fuck me until I can’t take it anymore,” she moans, her hands reaching back, grabbing your neck, pulling you closer as she continues to move, to lose herself in the sensation.
Irene, breathless, leans in closer, and with a soft voice, almost a whisper, says in your ear, “I want you to fuck my tight ass.”
Her words are like a match striking the box, igniting something fierce within you. Irene rises off your lap and walks to a corner of the gym, where she grabs a bottle of lube. She returns with a mischievous smile, shaking the bottle in the air. “I brought this just for this moment,” she says.
“You had this in mind from the start, didn’t you?” you ask, already knowing the answer.
Irene doesn’t bother replying. Instead, she kisses you before lying down on the padded floor, her pale skin contrasting with the dark material, her body exposed in a posture of pure submission, but with the confidence of someone who knows exactly what they want. “Come here, you naughty boy,” she calls, her voice like poisoned honey.
You kneel beside her, your hands trembling with desire as you reach for the lube. Irene smiles at you, then gets on all fours and arches her back. With steady movements, you pour the gel into your palm and begin applying it to her ass, feeling the warm, soft skin under your fingers. Irene lets out a low sigh, closing her eyes, savoring the sensation. "That's it... get me ready, I want to feel every inch of your thick cock inside me."
You don’t waste any time. With one hand, you spread the lube around and inside her ass, your fingers gently penetrating to prepare her. Irene bites her lip, her body slightly writhing, a mix of pleasure and anticipation. "Feels good, keep going... make me ready for you."
When you feel she’s sufficiently lubed, you apply the rest to your cock, rubbing it until it’s fully coated, hard and throbbing.
Irene changes position, lying on her back on the floor. You position yourself between her raised legs, and she looks at you with eyes full of desire. "Come on, don't wait any longer," she begs, her voice low and sweet. You press the tip of your cock against her tight entrance, pushing slowly, feeling the initial resistance. Irene lets out a moan of pain mixed with pleasure, and you keep going, advancing inch by inch, feeling the heat and pressure around you.
"Ahhh… yes," Irene moans, her eyes closed, her hands gripping the padding beneath her as you penetrate her slowly. "It's so big… so tight…"
You keep pushing, feeling her ass open up, millimeter by millimeter, her body adjusting to your size. The heat, the pressure, the sensation of filling her completely is indescribable, and the low moan she lets out only fuels your desire. "Yes, yes, yes! Fuck me deeper," she pleads.
You obey, pushing deeper until you're finally all the way inside her. Irene lets out a muffled moan, a sound of pure satisfaction, her body arching with pleasure. "Yes… like that… don’t stop," she begs, her eyes shining with wild desire. You start to move, slowly at first, savoring every second, every contortion of her body, every moan that escapes her lips.
As you gain rhythm, Irene’s moans grow louder, more desperate. "Yes… fuck my ass… do what I never let my husband do… ahhh… harder… please," she moans, every word an encouragement for you to go deeper, to push both of you to the limit.
And you do, increasing your speed and force, your hands gripping her thighs firmly, guiding each thrust with precision, feeling her body tremble with pleasure until it all comes down to heat, sweat, the pure desire consuming you both.
Irene then begins to tremble, her body stiff with imminent pleasure. She looks at you, her eyes burning with lust and urgency. "Mmm, I’m about to cum, babe… Let’s cum together?" she asks, her voice broken by moans.
You feel her body pulsing around you, each contraction almost pushing you over the edge.
"Do you want to come inside my pussy? Fill it with your cum?"
The desire and madness of the moment take over you. “Can I?” you ask, your voice tense, almost disbelieving.
“Of course you can,” she replies with a wicked smile, "I'm on the pill, darling. I want to feel you unload everything inside me."
With that, you both move into the classic missionary position. Irene spreads her legs and bends them, her feet planted on the floor, while you kneel between her thighs, your cock positioned exactly where she wants it. Irene wraps her legs around your waist, pulling you closer. The warmth and tightness of her pussy confirm your decision: you need to cum inside her.
You start thrusting into her, each stroke deeper and faster than the last. Irene moans loudly, the sound of her moans echoing through the gym. “Ahhh, yes… more… harder…” she screams, her eyes closed in pure ecstasy. “Fuck my pussy… Make me your cum dump.”
You’re on the verge of exploding, your entire body tense with the anticipation of climax. Irene feels it and, between moans, murmurs, “I’m almost there… I’m going to cum…”
“Me too… I’m almost there…” you reply, your breathing fast.
She opens her eyes, her gaze burning with intensity. “Have you ever cum inside a stranger before, huh? Ever filled a married woman with cum, you pervert?” She asks, her words hitting you like a wave of heat.
Those words make you lose control. With one last, powerful thrust, you bury yourself deep inside her, feeling your cum release into the depths of Irene’s pussy. She screams as she cums at the same time, her body writhing beneath you, her legs tightening around your waist.
“Ahhh… I can feel it all… it’s so warm… so good…” Irene moans, her words loaded with pure pleasure, her breathing ragged as she feels every hot stream filling her. You keep moving, even as the orgasm leaves you breathless, prolonging the pleasure for both of you.
When you finally pull away, your cock slipping out, cum begins to slowly drip from her pussy.
Irene smiles, a satisfied and wicked smile, as she looks at you, her breathing still uneven. "That was… exactly what I wanted," she says, her eyes gleaming with contentment, as the cum drips between her thighs, and you watch, fascinated, as she uses her fingers to spread her lips, letting the cum flow freely. She collects some of the semen with a finger and brings it to her mouth, tasting the result of your mix.
Irene kneels beside you and leans in for a deep kiss, her lips warm and moist against yours, while her hands glide over your body, caressing you with a certain tenderness.
“So, handsome, what did you think of the workout?” she asks.
You, still with your body pulsing with residual pleasure, respond with a smile, “I loved it. It was… incredible.”
Irene smiles back. “Good to hear that,” she says, with a note of amusement, “you can consider yourself my official personal trainer now. And the best part, you’re still getting paid for it. Isn’t it the best job in the world?”
You laugh, a mix of incredulity and amusement, realizing that your concept of ‘job’ will never be the same. “So that’s it? Daily sex with a gorgeous woman and I’m going to get paid for it? What are the downsides?”
“There aren’t any. As long as my husband never finds out, of course. But that’s my problem. Your only requirement and concern is to keep me satisfied.”
With that, she gets up nonchalantly, and starts gathering the clothes scattered on the floor.
You also get up, and as you’re dressing, you can’t help but think about the absurdity of the job you’re accepting.
When you’re almost ready to leave, Irene approaches, casually adjusting her hair.
“Don’t forget, tomorrow is training day again,” she says, her voice full of light arrogance. “Same time. Don’t be late. I want more of that… energy,” she adds with a smile.
You nod, laughing to yourself as you try to regain some of your composure.
“Sure, I’ll mark it on the calendar.”
#kpop smut#male reader#male reader smut#smut male reader#x male reader#x male smut#smut#gg smut#irene smut#irene red velvet#red velvet irene#red velvet smut#m!reader#smut oneshot#irene x reader
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I KNOW, MY EYES ALREADY LOVE YOU ── KENJI SATO
── summary: What could be Kenji Sato's certainty and weakness?
── content warnings: F!reader, 18+, nsfw, morning sex, unprotected, riding, playing w/ nipples, dirty talk, praise, petnames, kenji being a fucking tease, explicit words, explicit content.
── word count: 1.798!
Kenji did not know, or did he understand, some certainties about his life, and, perhaps, it could sound like imprudence, the purest act of negligence he had the opportunity to tolerate; in fact, it was obvious. — He believed in this line of consciousness, attempted reasoning.
He declared that he made mistakes, countless mistakes, and, currently, he still thinks about the hypothesis that he could make them to this day; even though he wanted to, and tried, as much as possible, not to reveal what he believed to the cameras, journalists and specific people around him. — Sato wouldn't stand it, he knew that.
However, resonating with a merciless and sweet irony, seeming such a surprising incongruity, Kenji was, he knew, certain about one thing in his existence, something that he would not dare lie, deceive himself or dissemble; he imagined he might die if he did that. — His chest burned, sharply, just thinking about it.
You were one of Sato's weaknesses; in his view, the only one. — At the same time, it was his strength; knowing that, you can destabilize him, with ease and incomplexity, conceiving a change in his concentration and everything around, just by directing your eyes against his would be able to be seen as ridiculous and playing a vulnerable side and stealing his attention was peculiar. — Something incredibly curious.
But in Sato's eyes, it was a form, way of how to worship you; being able to feel a passion, intensely, disoriented and burning in his heart. — Admitting something so angelic and serene. — Not hiding the fact that you were his refuge, a place where he felt safe and loved and knew that it would protect him at all costs in his life; experiencing being worthy of you.
And every morning, every second and minute of it, at dawn next to you, with his body entwined with yours, Kenji thought about it.
"A kiss for your thoughts?" — A sleepy, so sweet voice exclaims in the boy's ears, spontaneously bringing a cunning smile to his lips; Kenji loved your humor, even during the early morning. — "What do you think?" — Even with the huge cuts in the windows, showing weak and soft bands of light, you refused to open your eyes at that moment, yawning.
"That's a very good proposal, should i accept it?" — He asked, looking down at your leg, which was in the region of his hips, and felt, deliciously, you pressing yourself against him; Sato's smile grew even wider due to the fact that you only had the blanket stuck to your bodies. — "Good morning to you too, kitten."
He considered some sleepy, boring mumbles and grunts that came out of your mouth as a response, and found it adorable; bringing his lips to your forehead, kissing it, while stroking your hair. — Taking care of his girl with delicacy and gentleness. — And more melodic hums were made by you.
You couldn't stop that familiar and delightful tingling between your legs, and soon you was clumsily rubbing yourself against Kenji's hips, — who didn't fail to find your morning boner fascinating and hungry — without a hint of shame.
"I see someone…" — A sensual laugh vibrated in your temple. — "…woke up very well." — He added, feeling a lump in his throat, unable to contain his shaky breath. — "No?" — Your hand snaked over Kenji's athletic chest, a line of coldness crossed his skin, caused by the ring you had on your finger; your engagement ring.
Not knowing how to resist, and never could, your movements, the painful, throbbing sensation began to burn, sharply, Kenji's dick, showing the large bulge developed in the blanket; he was already starting to feel needier than usual, wanting to fit his face into your neck and dive into your pussy.
Just thinking about being inside you makes Sato's breathing become a panting mess, not wanting or admitting to waste another second.
"I always wake up right next to you, Kenji." — You replied, lifting your head, directing your lips to the eldest's shoulder, trailing kisses across his skin; showing affection. — "Always." — The little kisses went up to his collarbone, your warm hands remained on his chest.
During the small movement between the sheets, caused by you, part of your boobs were exposed and shivering as they hit Kenji's skin; he didn't wait and anxiously felt the beak of one of them, squeezing it with a certain and frank force. — Drawing a sigh from you and making the player bite his lip, like prey. — The damn man liked doing that.
Sato was, indisputably, diabolical, the most arrogant and delighting provocation to ever stand before you.
“Come here, come.” — He asked in a whisper, cunning and with eyes clouded with desire, looking at every point of your face and eyes, running his tongue over his lips, leaving them wet and, faintly, shiny; waiting to be responded to, which didn't take long. — "Pretty girl."
Yours lips, eagerly, came together in a sinful, appetizing and wet kiss; Kenji's sharp tongue rubbed and caressed your, wanting to taste your mouth, as if it were the first time. — Sometimes causing a shock of contact between your teeth and his, nothing could stop you. — Moans, coming from you, delighting in his mouth, were muffled and made Sato smile bewildered.
Kenji felt, even so apprehensive and focused on your mouth, his body being touched, covered by your hands, and, lightly, your nails scraped his skin, desperate to touch him. — He couldn't help but find it cute and naive the way your hand moved to the back of his neck, shocking your bodies even more. — Feeling himself throbbing more and more.
You would be the death of Kenji Sato. — That was another certainty that covered his mind.
Moaning during the mediocre fraction of a second in which your lips disconnected, feeling an emptiness, you came across thin and fragile strands of spit slowly breaking and you vibrated when you heard Sato's smug laugh; his eyes surrounded your mouth, wanting it again. — He smiled, forming a pretentious and ambitious expression as he brought his thumb to your chin, holding it.
"Ride me like a good girl," — Sato clicks his tongue, incoherent. — "my good girl." — Aa words, referring with a hint of possessiveness and premise, made your pussy throb with exultation. — "Please, huh?" — Your lover pouted, almost sounding mocking but not hiding the need he burned for you.
He didn't need to say it twice, he knew there would be no need, even though he saw some clouds of pleasure, leaving you completely at the mercy of the excitement, leaving you beautiful head. — And, also, it wasn't long before your legs were around Kenji's hips, grabbing them with the limited strength you had; abandoning the silky, white sheet somewhere on the mattress.
Settling down, adjusting his posture on the soft, padded pillow, hoping for a good view, Kenji couldn't help but adore the image before his eyes; you were deliciously mounted on him and comfortable on his lap, in your honored place and feeling deified. — It seemed like an inexplicable, surreal and reprehensible scene, it could be the taste of the paradise they prophesied. — No, you were Sato's own, true and only paradise.
Your body surrendered to him, precise movements, with a moderate, almost weak strength and still clouded with sleep, against the young prodigy's hips, feeling his entire length sink, preciously, into your sticky and hot walls; never getting used to the way you was filled by Kenji, — and, wanting, dirty, at no point to get used to it. — leaving you more stimulated. — When you felt him completely, your lips opened, moaning harmoniously and delightfully, attracting panting sighs in the name of your lover.
And, with your boobs, delicious and juicy boobs, exposed, wide open, which, according to your movements, swayed and shivered in front of Kenji, wanting to devour them with desire and modesty. — And not tolerating losing the delicious vision, he preferred to remain where he was; but, he didn't hesitate in sliding his hand towards one of them and squeezing it, now, tightly.
"Ken..ji." — You moaned, whimpered, moving your hand towards his, which held your nipple, unbearably, sensitive with his calloused fingers. — "Fuck-k!" — You sobbed, threatening to release tears from feeling all that pleasurable pressure in your system; and, feeling the lack of sustenance, with the other hand, you moved across Kenji's chest. — "Ken, Kenji..."
"Is it good, my love?" — He says, removing his hand from your boob and repositioning it on your waist, guiding your movements, noticing your almost exhausted rhythm, poor thing. — "Fucking good, huh?" — He growled when he noticed a sudden tightness in his cock; your pussy choked and sucked him, divinely, well. — "O-oh, look what we have here." — He laughed, digging his short nails into your flesh.
The sharp, thin lamentations and melodic moans vociferated in Sato's ears sounded like masterful music, stirring him with every descent and ascent that you made in his lap; also mentioning the wet, filthy melody that your pussy made while swallowing his cock. — Such a greedy, hungry, desperate little thing for every inch of him.
"Keep it up, kitten." — He swore, quickly guiding your hips and showed a satisfied and happy smile when he saw that you responded to his orders, winking shamelessly in your direction. — "I love filling this pussy, fuck…" — He breathed deeply, shaking with another grip on his dick. — "with my cum in the morning." — Listening to Kenji's filthy words was a sin.
It was blasphemous, unacceptable to be able to tolerate, endure, for so long, all that excitement, — all that infernal provocation coming from your man — and adequately endure the stings that reached, perfectly, your sensitive and delicate spot, which only Kenji knew how to reach. — And he took advantage of that.
With incandescent, burning pleasure replacing all sensations, reactions of your body, finally, that nervous, tingling thread, trapped in your stomach, breaks free; accompanied by a tearful and disoriented scream, crying out for Sato, coming out of your mouth. — Cumming on his cock, having some spasms around it, you feel weak, about to become weak. — Like a pathetic little doll.
"Baby." — Hot, delicious jets of sperm painted your inner walls, taking him to the limit, as always; cumming inside you, Kenji filled you, leaving you satisfied, sated and fulfilled. — Having the impression that, still sitting on his lap, you was leaking yours mixed releases, causing an appetizing mess. — "Holy shit." — Ken moaned softly, smiling bewildered and drunk for you.
Tilting your head to the side, merely acting in a naive and harmless way, still with a look of tiredness and exhaustion, a thin and innocent smile tugged at the corner of your lips; making you even more adorable, captivating.
"Good morning to you too, Ken."
Yeah, in fact, you were Kenji Sato's main weakness.
#kenji sato#ken sato#kenji#kenji sato x reader#ken sato x reader#kenji x reader#kenji sato smut#ken sato smut#kenji smut#ultraman#ultraman rising
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