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kingdaddydaichi · 3 years ago

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NSFW Alphabet || Katsuki Bakugou

I had so much fun with this! Vodka may or may not have been involved in the making of this little ditty. 🍸 I hope you shameless hussies enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. 😩

*Exhibit A:

(Source)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I feel like he gets clingy asf, but plays it off like it's something he's doing for your sake. He'll probably never admit that he feels so vulnerable after sex, but he does. If it was a rough session - which it usually is with him - he'll ask if you're okay, if you're hurt anywhere, kiss any marks he left on you - he's such a protective hero boi.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His: he's not gonna lie, he's fully aware of how well-endowed he is. He really is proud of his cock, the way it makes you sing when he works it - and he knows how to work it okay? Favorite non-sexual body part - his arms. He works hard to keep them cut (as in lifting, not cutting). 😬

Yours: listen, Katsuki is an ass man through and through. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong, I'm 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 listening 👏🏼. He loves to watch the subtle ripples he sends through your ass cheeks when he's driving into you from behind. Also, our big scary boomboom man appreciates a nice, thicc pair of thighs. Bonus points if they're muscular/toned - he loves the way it feels when your thighs have such a strong grip around him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Let's just say our boy's orgasms are explosive. He cums hard and loud, shooting long ropes of his hot seed. Consistency is about average, not too thick, not to thin, but there's a lot of it. He doesn't taste too bad - salty, but not too bitter. You're more likely to gag from the sheer volume and force of his cum hitting the back of your throat than the flavor.

His precum gets honorable mention here. It's fucking delicious. That is all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It took him no less than 2 years into your relationship to tell you this, and if you ever tell anyone he might actually kill you, or at the very least make your ass bleed. He hasn't gotten to the point that he's ready to try it yet, but he's not entirely opposed to the idea of you pegging him. Someday. It kinda does make his balls tingle a little just thinking about it tbh. He hasn't yet, but he thinks he might be ready to try working up to it and is really close to asking you to stick a finger in his ass and stroke his prostate. He's heard how good it feels and he's super curious to find out for himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, actually. He's only had 1 or 2 lovers before you, BUT he's determined to be #1 at everything. Couple that with how perceptive he is and you've got yourself a winner of a loverboy. He's going to make damn sure that, even if things don't work out between you two, he will always ALWAYS be the best you've ever had. No other man will outdo him, E-V-E-R.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggystyle all the way, baby. As stated before, he loves watching your booty jiggle every time he slams his hips against it. He gets off on spreading your ass cheeks to watch his slick-coated cock slide in and out of you. God he just loves hitting it from behind, makes his dick so fucking hard.

Bonus 2nd Favorite Position (couldn't help myself): you on your back with your ankles on his shoulders, your ass lifted off the bed, him on his knees and hugging those thick thighs of yours, keeping them closed as he reams into you. (Slight variation of this one: he leans over you, nearly folding you in half, putting you back on your shoulders with his hands pressing into the mattress beside you, angling you such that his prominent corona rubs over your g-spot as he drills down into you. 10/10 you're gonna scream his name when (not if) your liquid gushes all over him.)

Tell me the truth, am I a disgusting human being? Here are all the fucks I give:

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Bakugou is serious asf about his sex game. This is not the time to joke around or poke fun at him, understand me? If you do he will get pissed and either fuck the silly out of you, or if he's feeling particularly ruthless he'll just stop altogether and let you ache for him as punishment until you beg him for release.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He takes care of his body, paying a lot of attention to his hygiene, which includes manscaping to keep his pubic hair trimmed and kempt. The carpet's just a shade darker than the drapes, like a honey blond. If he lets it grow out, it sticks straight out just like his head hair. It's actually kind of funny and he hates it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

*sigh* Let's be honest. Katsuki is not the super romantic type, at least not outwardly. However, if he realizes something he's doing is hurting you - physically or emotionally - he's going to stop dead in his tracks and hold you close, push his fingers through your hair, and tell you how much he loves you and how safe you are. He can be rough and he can be an asshole, but if he thinks he's genuinely hurt you at all, he's all over you, doing everything he can to make you understand that he will never let anyone hurt you, especially not himself. Got that?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't jack off very often. You two share a very active sex life so he doesn't see the need to. If you have to be apart for more than a day or two, he'll rub one out. Or if the need hits him particularly hard and you're not available or in the mood, he's not above closing his eyes and reaching into his pants to wrap his thick fingers around his cock and start tugging.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Lord Baby Jesus, where do I even begin? Kinky, kinky Katsuki. This man should come with warning signs and disclaimers.

First of all, he dom asf okay? Even if he lets you play with his ass someday, he's gonna be bratty about it. He's going to top from the bottom, hashtag facts. And trust that he WILL own you afterwards to securely reestablish his dominance.

Giving and Receiving: Hair pulling. DIRTY TALK - you think he's got a potty mouth in the streets? His mouth is downright filthy between the sheets. Loves it when you dirty talk right back to him. "You love taking my fat cock, don't you princess?" "Mm yessss, fuck me, Katsuki! Your cock feels so fucking good babyyy!" He eats that shit up.

Giving Only: Degradation. Praise. Spanking. Cockwarming. Dom/sub/power play. Shibari/ropework (he tried it bc you wanted to and he fucking loved it). Creampies. Begging. Discipline. Ravishment.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Literally anywhere inside your home/homes - bed, bathroom/kitchen countertops, kitchen/dining table, office desk/chair, any piece furniture is fair game really, up against a wall, washer/dryer, the fucking floor, ugh just all the places to fuck. Not one square foot is sacred tbh.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Wear something that showcases the curve of your butt. Doesn't have to be revealing per se, matter of fact he'll get possessive as fuck if you're showing too much skin in public. At home/privately though? He can't help himself. Dat ass tho...he is going to smack it hard enough that it stings and that's final, understand?

Tease him. You can't be obvious about it though. If he senses that you're doing it on purpose, it'll just backfire. But if you just so happen to brush against his crotch when you squeeze past him, it'll drive him crazy. Go commando in short shorts/skirt and cross your legs just so, his dick will twitch. Even better if you do shit like this in public where you know he won't act on it. But when you get home you best believe he's going to dick you down so hard, won't even bother to take said shorts or skirt off.

His ears and neck are his most sensitive erogenous zones. Whisper in his ear or kiss his neck and he's going to grit his teeth in an effort to fight back the shudder that threatens to rattle his bones.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Let's get one thing straight. Katsuki Bakugou does not share. This is non-negotiable. He will not agree to anything involving additional people - cuckolding, threesomes, orgies, exhibitionism, voyeurism (unless it's him watching you pleasure yourself - that he will gladly do, and probably start palming himself in the process).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves giving and receiving. Giving puts him in full control of your pleasure, receiving makes him feel like you're worshipping his cock, which you probably are. Have you seen this man's cock? Of course you have. Gatdamn.

Y'all, Katsuki's so good at eating pussy. Like how does one get that good at eating pussy? I don't even know, but god the way he flicks his hot tongue over your precious, tiny bud before wearing it down like a fucking feed bag? It's unnatural. Like it could be his backup quirk if blowing shit up doesn't work out. You've seen the way he licks his lips when he gets excited, everyone has.* He doesn't even bother swallowing while he's feeding on you so you just be dripping in slick and saliva and he's just slurping away. It's lewd.

*See Exhibit A above.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You already know this, but I'll say it anyway. His go-to fucking style is fast and rough, dominant and relentless, hard and dirty. But every once in a while he'll want to take you slow and deep and passionate. He'll hold you so tight in his arms and chest, you'll have to tap his shoulder sometimes to let you breathe. And he'll just roll his hips so fucking thoroughly both of you will feel every last inch, his pubic bone rubbing your clit so hard. You've told him so many times how much you love it when he makes love to you like this, but he maybe makes it a rare treat on purpose. 😈 Little shit.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are difficult for our boy. It's not that he's against them, it's just that he savors every drop of sensuality, he has a tendency to draw the pleasure out as long as possible. He can’t help it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

The idea of having public sex turns him on, but he's only done it with you a couple of times when he was 10000% sure you wouldn't be caught. He can't risk doing anything that would tarnish his reputation and goal of becoming the #1 Hero. He might be freaky as hell, but he needs a sex scandal like an Alaskan needs a refrigerator.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He loves you long time. He's a Taurus for fuck's sake (well, Aries/Taurus cuspie, but that just sweetens the deal). Great stamina. Grinds you down like a whetstone. Can last as long as he needs to to ensure you cum for him as many times as it takes for you to beg him to stop. If he feels himself getting too close while you're blowing him, he'll stop you and go down on you instead. If he's inside of you, he'll pull out and start kissing all over your body, sucking, nipping, licking until his urge to cum passes, then he pushes it right back in and keeps going.

If on the off-chance he does cum before you, he'll be ready to go again in about 20-30 mins. Just give him some motivation, he deserves it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He didn't own any toys when you first got together, but you did. He hated the idea of you using them though, especially when he's right there with you. You've since assured him that you don't want to use them to replace him, but to enhance the pleasure. So now you do use them from time to time.

The first time you managed to coax him into using a toy together, it was a small wireless bullet with a remote. When you brought it out and showed it to him, there was a wild glint in his eye. He carefully inserted the vibrator into you, his cock slowly following suit. He loved the fact that he had complete control over this thing, but later complained because the sensation of it against the head of his cock made him cum too fast. He still wants to use it sometimes though. 😏

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he can be so unfair. He loves teasing you until you're begging him to put his cock inside you. He's not so much into orgasm denial per se; he just loves to hear you beg him for shit - to let you cum, to suck his dick, to stop fucking you when you're overstimmed, etc.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lol he's fucking LOUD! And he's going to make you cum so hard that you're screaming his fucking name. There was a time when one or both of you lived in an apartment and the neighbors would bang on the wall behind your headboard.

Shit, what sounds does he NOT make? He growls, moans, grunts, groans, yells, swears, fucks you so hard you can hear the wet sound of slapping skin, hell even the bed protests. Another reason he doesn't fuck in public - he can't stay quiet enough to be discreet about it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Okay, as much of a wild sex beast as he is behind closed doors, he gets embarrassed so easily when your sex life is so much as hinted at around others. It's legit funny how flustered he gets about it.

If he goes into work real tired and Kirishima says, "Hey Bakubro, you look like shit this morning. You and (y/n) stay up too late?" while doing the finger in the hole gesture, Katsuki will just "Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair, or I'll blast your ass right through that fucking wall!"

Or if you two go out together with friends and the girls are talking about sex-related stuff, Katsuki will just roll his eyes and try to ignore it. But if one of them is all "So, (y/n), does Bakugou ever like accidentally let off explosions while you're doing it?" and you wink and say, "Only when he's especially *cough* frustrated *cough*". Katsuki will go red from his neck up to his hairline and start stuttering, sparks flying from his palms. "H-hey, d-don't tell them sh-shit like that! I-it's none of their god-goddamn b-business, (y/n), what th-the f-fuck?!" Meanwhile, you and the girls are in stitches while he stomps away, just mortified, bless his heart. When you catch your breath from laughing you'll follow it up with, "Looks like tonight's gonna be one of those nights", and you all lose it again.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

As has been mentioned, Bakugou's well-endowed. I figure he's packing about 7.5-8" in length x just under 2" wide. He takes some getting used to, that's for damn sure. Oh, and he's more of a shower than a grower. Like around 6" long x 1.5" wide when flaccid. Katsuki + sweatpants/basketball shorts = swinging dick print, alright sis? Take notes, this motherfucker visibly jumps when he does, class dismissed.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Eh, he's surprisingly not ridiculously horny. Maybe a little above average sex drive? A lot of times hero work just takes it out of him and he comes home utterly exhausted and just needs a soft place to land, and you provide him with all the love and nurturing in your heart. ❤

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends, really, on the time of day and what type of day it's been. If it's late (like past 9pm lol) and he fought more villains than usual that day, he's probs gonna pass out pretty soon after. If it's earlier in the day - especially first thing in the morning - it gets him pumped and almost comically genki.

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ofxinnocence · 7 years ago

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Starter for @etherexllxght Based on this gif set.

The soft knock on the door of her office was already enough. It was the first week of the new year, but Vanessa had seen Lip in her classes a few times already and the look in his eyes had been enough to know what was on his mind. And if she was honest, it had been on her mind too. There was something about him that she wanted. Without having said a word to him or showing him a sign, she knew that she would be getting a visit from him soon. And the knock on the door was exactly that... A visit from Lip.

“Come on in!” Vanessa told the person on the other side of the door, putting down her pen and looking at the door.

#( talks | vanessa x lip )#etherexllxght #// I have never seen shameless tbh :o #// if i need to change anything #// let me know!

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honeytea8 · 4 years ago

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✨✨La Squadra Boyfriend Headcanons✨✨

[Alexa, play Boyfriend by Big Time Rush]

Guys, I spend an ungodly amount of time thinking about La Squadra, so here are some bf headcanons for the sexiest group of assassins in Naples. No one asked but I am bringing it straight to your dash anyway! (under the cut for length lmao)

I’m going to start with Prosciutto, who has recently fallen on my radar pretty heavy!

He’s a good and decent boyfriend, if not a busy one. Not that he doesn’t care about the relationship, but most of his energy was going to Passione things before you waltzed in and so he’ll struggle a bit between his work responsibilities and maintaining his relationship with you, but only in the beginning.

If you are also a part of Passione, it’s a hell of a lot easier to manage.

I see Prosciutto as the gift-giving type: lingerie, sweets, perfume, designers, etc. His salary isn’t the best, but he manages it as well as he can just to accommodate you!

I just can’t get the idea out of my head that Pro was raised by a strict mama, that’s why he can be a bit of a stickler sometimes. He’ll catch you still lounging in bed at nine am, and be like “Why are you still in bed? Get dressed, we’re going out.” Dude!

I’m sorry to say, but Prosciutto is absolutely the ��lecturing’ type. (He lectured someone in nearly every scene in the anime, Formaggio once and Pesci numerously and Bucci too)

He will lecture you when you make mistakes, especially because as his s/o, he has high expectations for you and believes you’re capable of so much more. It’s never, ever out of hate. He loves you, and that’s why he chides you a bit lol.

This does not negate the fact that he doesn't mind when you lean on him for support. He likes when you count on him, because he always comes through especially for you!

Depending on whether you’re in the mafia or not, I totally see him sparring with you, or working out with you in an effort to make you tough. Prosciutto wants you to be able to defend yourself, just in case. If you complain, he’ll tell you, “Better safe than sorry, tesoro”.

Prosciutto will respect you, period.

A good listener, goddamn! He’s up there with Risotto when it comes to who listens to their s/o more! If you have an issue, he’ll hear you out and offer advice if you want it. If you give him advice, he’ll take it into serious consideration. He’s honestly a good partner, can’t stress that enough.

Finally, sex with Pro is an entire event. Romantic dinner, candles lit, wine, the whole nine yards before he gives you nine inches of something else :) (I’m kidding!! Lmao, kinda).

But as I said, Prosciutto is quite deliberate, and a bit of a perfectionist. He knows what to do and how to do it, you can trust him.

Ghiaccio is next only because he’s my favorite.

The ice gremlin is probably the most interesting (and hilarious) boyfriend out of the bunch (I say this with only a tidbit of bias). He isn’t funny himself, but funny shit just happens to him.

Because of this, he will use you as a soundboard when everyone else refuses to listen to him. He’s got a lot to say, so be prepared for his TEDtalks. LMAO!

It will take some perception on your part to notice when he actually expects a response from you, and other times he’s just ranting to get his point out.

He will correct your grammar when you text, but barely notices when he makes a similar mistake (his brain moves in mph). Please use the proper names like Venezia, Italia, Roma and Napoli when talking to this man; save yourself from the headache.

When it comes to dates, please have mercy on him, he’s a textbook over-thinker! You’ll just have to plan something simple at home for you both to enjoy.

He isn’t incapable of planning dates, but he’ll want everything to be so absolutely perfect for his s/o and will throw a fit when it ultimately isn’t.

Contrary to popular belief, I think that Ghiaccio is a pretty attentive partner. He’s super intelligent and I think a part of it stems from his innate ability to read people (I’m referencing the part in the anime where he deduced what Giorno and Mista had come to look for, while going off very little information).

The more time he spends with you, the better he gets at it.

His form of affection will be shown through the amount of time you both spend together. When it comes to sex or anything related to that, be gentle and slow as Ghiaccio will likely be a flustered mess.

As he becomes more comfortable and confident, he will be bolder and just ask out right if you’ll suck him off tonight or not. The man appreciates directness, so don’t bother being coy. “You want me to give you head? Cool, lay down a towel or something.” is what he’ll probably say.

Very practical 👌🏾👌🏾

Melone, good lord, he’s kind of perfect.

A bit of a doting boyfriend here and there—very much concerned about your health. Expect him to ask if you’ve eaten, or taken your multivitamin. How are your bowel movements? LMAO

It can become a bit much, but he really genuinely cares. He’s not asking to be intrusive or nasty! If he was, you’d know. 🤣

But I seriously consider Melone to be the one (at least among La Squadra) who is way, way invested in his relationships. He will know every little detail about you; will ask you lots of questions and expects you to ask him just as many.

This may be annoying to some, but this dude will definitely bring up your horoscope in an argument. He’ll be like “I honestly can’t fathom why you’re being this way, though it’s to be expected from a libra.”

Peg this bitch so he can shut up.

Melone is also touchy as hell, but not in a clingy way. He loves touching, and just to tag onto the headcanon about his partial blindness, I want to say that he’s so touchy because that’s how he ‘sees’ you best.

Just know that half the time, he isn’t touching you to be lecherous, even if he genuinely does like the feel of your skin under his fingertips. Melone will even encourage you to touch him back.

Rub his thigh or back and he’ll be simping.

He is obsessed with your legs, and will paint your toes if you let him.

LOVES PDA! Melone will also tongue-kiss you in public if you let him!

Notice how I keep saying ‘if you let him’. Give him an inch and he’ll press you for a mile, so if there are boundaries you would like to establish, please do, cuz he sure as hell won’t, just saying!

When it comes to sex, Melone is a dick and coochie sensei. Oral is his favorite thing to do, probably enjoys giving more than receiving to be honest. I’d say he’s pretty much mastered sex for what it is.

That being said, if he’s ever talking out of his neck, just invite him to put his mouth to better use. He’ll even thank you for your gracious request.

Formaggio is next 💀

According to my JoJo compatriots from discord, he’s like the Optimus Prime of fuckboi’s so let’s ride that wave for a bit! LMAO

I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise that Formaggio is pretty shameless. He will send you a dick pic on Sunday morning before church and have the audacity to say “Just wanted to bless you real quick”.

@autumn-kouhai mentioned him giving his s/o sickly sweet pet names and I just have to agree.

Expect to be hit upside the head with: baby-boo, sugar plum, honey bunches, sweetums. I can imagine them becoming really ridiculous too like “the last piece of red velvet cake” or “cheddar bae biscuits from Red Lobster”

His catch phrase is “Got nudes?”

Send them, and he won’t be afraid to reply with something equally sexy.

Be warned though, he will stockpile whatever you send him and then be careless with his phone. If you don’t mind Illuso’s snoopy ass seeing your nudes then by all means, have at it. Otherwise, send them through snapchat, so they disappear later.

As far as La Squadra boyfriends go, he’s the most fun! Y’all don’t even go anywhere because man’s is broke. BUT, Formaggio knows how to have a good time without any need to spend money (my kind of dude tbh) you guys just crank up the tunes, dance, and get lit until the neighbors complain.

Formi is also the CEO of jokes/memes, and will have you in absolute tears almost always! I literally tell my friends that funny guys are so dangerous, don’t sleep on them! They will make you laugh until your panties drop, it’s magic, I swear. Formaggio has that same energy.

No matter how bad of a day his s/o is having, rest assured, he will draw the biggest laugh out of you.

Besides his fuckboi tendencies, his most redeeming quality is the fact that he’s super cool and fun to hang with. You’ll literally have a good time, always, because his energy is right! Very good vibes around this man, I swear! It’ll be exactly like dating your best friend, because essentially, he will be your bestie.

Formi has many moments of tenderness that aren’t sexually charged too—moments where the jokes stop and he’ll just rub your back or feet, this is usually when you aren’t feeling well and need some quiet.

However, Formaggio won’t let you mope all day, he’ll pull out the big guns and call you his “sweetie baby” and when you try to resist he’ll say “What, I’m just tryna show you some love.”

He’s a good dude lmao I’d date a guy like him irl 😭

Pesci stans wya??! Let’s get into this baby boy.

Pesci is boyfriend material, idgaf what anyone says.

He is pretty much the least problematic to be with among all of La Squadra, even more so than Risotto (don’t argue with me).

Pesci is hyper aware of your likes and dislikes and will literally go out of his way to make sure that you’re well and okay.

Arguments are basically nonexistent and if they occur it ain’t coming from his side.

I also think that Pesci has a lot of empathy, so when you’re going through something, he’s right there in the thick of it with you. If you’ve seen that meme that goes ‘when my gf is on her period it’s UterUS’ lmao that’s Pesci’s energy 100%.

Sometimes, he’s more of a lover and not a fight, that is perfectly okay!

However, if someone tries up his s/o, say farewell to Mr. Niceguy. He will defend your honor to his dying breath. And with you in his corner, trust me, he’s not going down.

A romantic at heart, Pesci will plan little date trips like picnics in the park or boat trips to Capri, actually, I’d like to point out that he excels in the art of date planning. If you’re the adventurous type, he’ll plan outings where you both will be more active, like biking through the city or renting a mop-ed and going sight-seeing.

Because Pesci has a sensitive stomach, he’s very much considerate of what you both put in your bodies. If you have dietary restrictions or allergies, this guy knows all about it and will cater to you perfectly.

A true gentleman through and through, he will never force himself on you, ever. In fact, he really doesn’t like engaging in anything sexual when you’re drunk or high, sorry if you’re into that!

Pesci is the kind of guy who keeps up with your favorite shows.

If ya’ll have similar taste in media or literature, he will immerse himself in it so that he can relate to you all the more.

If there’s anyone who will entertain anime-related discourse, no matter how nonsensical, it’s Pesci. And he isn’t just putting up with it, he’s actively engaging in the conversation so you are always heard and validated.

He’s an A+ boyfriend, that’s all I gotta say! Haters can stay mad :)

Goddamn Illuso... idk man.

I really feel like you have to have thick/tough skin to handle this guy, for various reasons.

The first being that Illuso can be a bit mean at first. He’ll push your buttons on purpose just to see what’ll make you tick. Will tease the living heck out of you, always, kind of a bully lmao but not to the extreme, it’s just his brand of humor—and the thing is, he won’t be mad when you dish it right back, so it’s cool.

Secondly, Illuso has big dick energy!!

I mean rightfully so, because he is indeed packing! But my word, he ain’t humble about it at all!

He is not above making jokes about ‘splitting you in half’. In fact all of his jokes have hidden, dirty undertones!

His affection is shown through speech mostly. Illuso will drop subtle innuendos and provocations, half to see you flustered and half because he wants you to know how much he wants you.

Illuso isn’t incredibly vocal about his feelings outside of ‘I’m tryna hit that thang’ but you won’t doubt that he loves you because Illuso doesn’t waste his own time.

If he’s spending his time with you, you can rest assured that it’s because he wants to.

Illuso is a voyeur and you’ll just have to understand/accept that and move on.

He loves watching you and will even creep over to your place through the mirror world just to hang or watch you do chores. Loves to surprise you and give you jump scares lmao it’ll make you a tad paranoid but it’s also fun.

Illuso is prone to random bouts of sweetness; it’s very sporadic, very touch-and-go.

One day, you’ll wake up to chocolates on your dresser or new shoes, lingerie, or makeup if you wear it. I imagine that if you’re low on funds, he will even help you buy your groceries that week.

It’ll surprise the hell out of you, but that’s just how Illuso is. He enjoys keeping you on your toes!

He’s prideful and smug as hell, so he will definitely expect a thank you, because even if he does it out of the kindness in his heart, he also wants to hear that you appreciate him

Same goes for the bedroom scene. Illuso loves making you vocal, it’s his favorite thing in the world, so he’ll make a game out of doing the things that get the biggest reaction out of you. Like I said, it's that big dick energy at work here, smh.

Sorbet and Gelato in a polyamorous relationship with you? Let’s get it!

We don’t get anything substantial about these two except that Sorbet follows the money, so these are all personal headcanons for how I see and write them.

Here’s the juice: when it comes to you as their s/o, these two are possessive as hell. You are theirs and that’s that on that! 😭 Don’t ask questions, just go with it.

Sorbet is the chill one of the duo. He can be a bit smug at times, but he’s mostly a laid back dude who doesn’t get bothered by much.

When it comes to you, Sorbet likes to spend quality time with you more than anything, and will ask you to cook for him at your place so he ain’t gotta spend money. Oh? Did I not mention that I kinda think of him as a cheapskate? Lmao cuz I do.

Sorbet will come by your place just to steal your coupons from the mail then head out; you’re not using ‘em so why should he let them go to waste?

Gelato is the complete opposite; personality wise, I headcanon him as a mix between Melone and Formaggio lmao

But it’s not as crazy as it sounds, he’s cute and outspoken like Melone, while maintaining a free-spirit like Formaggio. One quality that I like is that he’s quite devoted to you and Sorbet. If anyone crosses either of you, goodluck to them!

I like to think Gelato’s also just really boujee and high maintenance. He loves to pamper and be pampered. You and him tag-team Sorbet’s wallet and go on spa dates together at his expense (not that he ever really stood a chance)

While Sorbet is cool with just being in the same room as you, Gelato loves hugging/cuddling with you and Sorbet—will definitely fight for the middle spot between the two of you on the couch during movie nights.

He baby, so let him have it lol

In the bedroom, I would salute anyone with the guts to take the two of them on. They both lay down that work, period.

Sorbet gets his kicks from teasing and edging you (his sadistic side comes out a bit), while Gelato loves when you give him extra TLC. To put it short, they know how to take care of you, so there are no issues there.

Last but not least, Mr. Risotto Nero himself.

Man, idc on the lowest of keys, he seems a little bit like a grandpa to me

The type to sit at home and do crosswords, has a bird feeder in his yard and plays old Italian hits while washing the dishes. It’s very domestic 💀 (I find it cute, whatever!)

As a boyfriend, I can’t imagine him suddenly being spontaneous or outgoing unless you drag him out of his home/comfort zone.

Be patient with Mr. Nero, and he can come to surprise you

After a while, it won’t be just you dragging him out and about; one day he’ll ask you to come over and you’ll be greeted with a nice, traditional, homemade meal

Pay attention and you will notice him watching your face to see if you like his cooking 🥺

After seeing his fight with Doppio, I must admit that Risotto is very, very observant, almost scarily so.

I can totally picture him pointing out random things about his s/o that even they don’t know

One night, Risotto may come up to you and say “I talked to your neighbor about the dog, they’ll keep it inside now.” And you’re just staring like 😳 how did he know the barking was keeping you up at night????

He’s sweet, and will take good care of you as a boyfriend should.

Very good listener, won’t talk as much but will hang on to your every word, I promise. He could even recite it to you verbatim.

He’s a big dude, that ain’t news, so expect to be swallowed up in hugs and sometimes even picked up (as a tall girl myself, I simp!!!)

Gives A1 piggyback rides, lol

ALSO RISOTTO IS HUMBLE ASF!

Big dick energy, but on low volume 👏🏾 after all, he doesn’t need to do much talking, because a night with him is more than enough!

Listen babe, you better stretch, do some squats, and prep in whatever way you can before Mr. Nero gives you that work. 🤐

Lowkey a freak, but it’s well hidden behind his ‘quiet giant’ exterior

So, who are y'all dating? Personally, I’m going for Formaggio and Pesci hehe

#jojo #jojo’s bizarre adventure #vento aureo #la squadra #prosciutto #illuso #formaggio #melone #risotto nero #pesci #ghiaccio #gelato and sorbet #la squadra esecuzioni #la squadra di esecuzione #jojo headcanons #la squadra x reader #jojo part 5

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dr-stone-things · 5 years ago

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Can I request some cuddling headcanons with Ginro and Kinro? Thank you! 💕

YES…. MY BABIES!!!!! Tbh the amount of love Kinro is getting makes me go uwu… he is so precious… and Ginro too of course!!

Ginro and Kinro Cuddling HCS

Ginro is another shameless cuddler. Honestly, he will cuddle s/o anywhere, anytime, in front of anyone. Ginro is touching some part of their body 24/7.

As soon as he finishes the simplest of tasks he claims he is too tired to do anything else as an excuse to cuddle with s/o. And unfortunately, there is nothing the others could do when he latches on to them because it is physically impossible to pull Ginro away from s/o.

S/o’s cuddles are his motivation for living. He will do practically anything for them.

“Oi Ginro! Stop playing around with s/o and come help us!”

“Yea, yea, yea, I can’t hear you!” Ginro clinged to s/o’s arm.

“Ginro… you have to go help. You’re the only one who can do it!”

“But…”

“As soon as you finish, you can come back for some more cuddles and kisses.”

“I’M COMING!!!!!!!” Ginro sprinted off as the other villagers shook their heads in amazement and frustration. Of course s/o was the only one who could persuade him to do anything.

He’ll get a bit whiny and depressed if s/o denies him cuddles. But why would you want to deny cuddles to an innocent bby like Ginro?

Big spoon? Hell yea, he loves tangling his legs with them and nuzzling the crook of s/o’s neck. Little spoon? Of course!! He also loves burying his face into s/o’s chest, taking in their warmth. In other words, he’s down for any position!!

Whenever he cuddles with s/o, he always has these hearts in his eyes. And also, Ginro is a squeezer. He always holds them really tight, s/o was actually surprised that he had that much strength in him. It’s always been a habit of his, he just never wants to let them go!

He LOVES when s/o plays with his hair. I know I’ve said this multiple times, but, Ginro’s hair is probably the most softest thing ever. You know how sometimes Ginro has hair covering one of his eyes??

Once s/o and he was cuddling and s/o starting playing with his bangs. S/o started to brush the hair covering his eye out of the way, making it so you could see his green eyes easily. Ginro looked up at them questionably.

“I like to see both of your pretty eyes,” s/o said softly, as they tucked another lock of hair behind his ears. Ginro’s face erupted into steam and he almost past out there and then.

Ginro talks a lot while cuddling. Like, I mean a lot of pillow talk. He usually rants about all of the work others make him do, and how mean the others are to him. Sometimes he brags about something cool he did, and hearing s/o praise him makes him feel so good about himself.

In fact, if Ginro doesn’t say anything during cuddling, s/o knows something is up, and will definitely ask him what’s wrong.

Ok but, headcanon that Ginro is ticklish!! S/o found this out by accident when they rubbed his sided and he let out a strangled noise. Whenever he’s down, s/o always tickles him and he emits a super duper cute laugh that makes s/o’s heart go boom!! And of course, Ginro likes to trap them underneath the covers and tickle them until they are out of breath from laughing.

Conclusion: Cuddling with Ginro is one of the best things that could happen to you.

(credits to the wonderful @rukhiwi for the gif!!)

*wipes sweat off forehead for the 100th time* Damn… Kinro’s eyes are just… *explodes*

Anyway, Kinro is the kinda guy who acts like he dislikes cuddling but he LOVES it. Of course, s/o was the one who had to bring up the idea and initiate it. At first, he was hesitant, but when he tried it he was HOOKED.

Cuddles only in private. The only people who can know about the cuddling is himself and s/o. If anyone else finds out he will literally die. So, in other words, no cuddling it public, very different from his brother.

If yall haven’t cuddled in a while, he would casually yet discreetly drop hints about it. He would never come out and directly tell s/o he wants to cuddle, so s/o has to be able to read what he wants.

BIG SPOON BIG SPOON!! Sorry guys, this man is a dom. He’s quite big, and he loves holding s/o’s smaller body. He also prefers that s/o is on top of him, their face nuzzled into his chest.

I’m not trying to be weird or anything, but headcanon that Kinro is really proud of his muscles. So he secretly loves when s/o kisses his chest and hugs him!!

Kinro just kinda… stares at s/o a lot while cuddling. S/o had to ask him if he was ok since he didn’t take his eyes off them for a while. Kinro had apologized but s/o’s response threw him off.

“I don’t mind. Your eyes are very beautiful.”

Kinro stared at them again, his eyes widened in surprise as his face burned. By the time he regained his composure, s/o had already drifted off to sleep.

Kinro loves to run his large hand through s/o’s locks of hair, it just really soothes him. He mostly does it while they’re asleep though.

Kinro is another man who has trouble sleeping at night. I mean, have you seen his bags? I imagine, even though he doesn’t show it, he gets pretty tired. When he began sleeping next to s/o, all of his tiredness just started to seep away. Their presence just made him calm down.

Usually, Kinro wakes up very early because of his insomnia. After s/o came along, he began waking up later, and later, and eventually, even Ginro was there at the bridge on duty before him.

Similarly to his brother, Kinro is also a squeezer, but for a different reason. I feel like Kinro would be scared about his s/o’s safety. What if he isn’t strong enough to protect them? What if they get hurt because of him? Sometimes, these thoughts plague him and he always keeps s/o close to him.

Once, s/o tried tickling him but to no avail. I mean, this man is all muscle, tickles are completely ineffective on him sadly. Kinro didn’t understand what they were trying to do every time they snuck up behind him and rubbed his sides.

While cuddling, he’s more of a listener. He doesn’t really talk too much, just some ‘uh huhs’ and grunts here and there. What he prefers to do is listen to his s/o’s soothing voice as they rant about the day and talk about whatever. Their voice alone can make his eyelids droopy.

Don’t forget to kiss his scar while cuddling!!!

Whenever he touches his s/o intimately in any way, his heart always patters happily and the tips of his ears become red. Not that he’ll tell s/o this though. I think I’m becoming bias for Kinro, I love him to the ends of the earth and back tbh.

Conclusion: Cuddling with Kinro is one of the best things ever.

#dr stone #dr stone headcanon #dr stone x reader #kinro #ginro #dr stone kinro #dr stone ginro #kinro x reader #ginro x reader

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junghelioseok · 4 years ago

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Hi hey hello bubs!! 🤗Just casually dropping by to send you my ardent adoration of Clandestine. I’ll admit, I’m absolute noona trash, ergo I LOVE older reader fics. Throw in a side of forbidden romance, and I’m yours!! Really tho, I’m LOVING the dynamics between her and jk. The way jk just shamelessly pursues her + the way she tries SO HARD to keep her own attraction towards him at bay= ✨T E N S I O N✨ It actually takes my breath away😩😩. The way he steals her coffee in the beginning of ch2 tho haha I really liked the subtle hint of intimacy in the sharing of that cup. And then… “but I’ll be your dessert if you want me ;)” HAHAHA HE’S SO EMBARASSING. But my favorite scene is the one in the kitchen at tae’s party as everyone is gathering to watch the BP tournament. The way he corners her at the fridge and she finally just gives in to her desires… I FELT THAT. “Tell me, and I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you anything you want.” And “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” followed up with a 180 deg SWEEEERVE in the dialogue that makes me think he’s more than just into her physically. I have a feeling he’s been harboring a bit of a crush on her for a while now. But when she has that realization that jk’s undoubtedly, unabashedly a man now <- my literal thoughts during the my time performance. Can’t fault my girl cus… hard same🥵🥵🥵 And can I just say… the smut… A+ so hot 🥵🥵. I love that you hit on the topic of consent with the way he wants to know that his desire for her is mutual and then asks permission to fuck her after he goes down on her. Ok and I HAVE TO MENTION IT. “He catches your eye at the same time he releases the ball with a flick of his wrist, a knowing smirk settling on his face as triumphant cheers break out all around you.” IS SO REMINISCENT OF ONE TREE HILL… and I’m looooovin it. And the way jk seems to get a bit ??jealous?? when another guy (other than jimin) calls her “noona” has me a bit endeared?? Except I'm also confused with that ending scene alluding to jk’s newfound fuckboy status… what happened to him in the year that she’s been away at college?? Is he really just playin her?? What's the blow back gonna look like since he's her lil brothers bff?? 👀👀I’m excited to see how their story unfolds!! Thanks for sharing your writing with us!! Sending you all my love 💜💜💜

holy smokes, BABE 🤧 the way my jaw dropped when i saw this in my inbox and had to scroll to read it all 😭

i am so so happy you’re enjoying the fic so far! jk really is being shameless, isn’t he 😒 not that we can complain though LMAO. i’m having such a good time playing with their dynamic and characterizing jk to be as infuriatingly hot as possible, can you tell that this is an exercise in self-indulgence for me? is that obvious enough??? 🤣

“HE’S SO EMBARRASSING” YOU ARE RIGHT MY FRIEND 😂😂😂

and the kitchen scene! that’s probably my favorite scene too! i had a lot of fun writing it and tbh it’s a scene i had written out long before the rest of the chapter and the preceding chapter were done, hahaha. i wrote it long before i saw the my time performance too but MY GOD if i didn’t channel that into all of the writing i’ve done since 🥵 ALSO? i love that you picked up on the consent tidbit! explicit consent is so important!!!

sndjflsjdflksjd i’ve never seen one tree hill I DON’T GET THAT REFERENCE I’M SORRY 😅 i just want jk to be stupid good at pong bc you know he absolutely has to be 😂

and the jealousy, oof u right! and is it a crush? is it more? what happened while oc was gone? we shall see 👀😂

thank you so much for taking the time to leave this message, babe! i love and appreciate the support!!! 🥺

#ask lia #answered #re: clandestine #lcksndkys

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imagine-organization-xiii · 6 years ago

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Organization XIII - Making Their S/O Flustered

Suggested by: Anon. Here’s the full ask.

Xemnas

Doesn’t do it on purpose, but does realize when it’s happening. You usually get flustered in close proximity to him, especially when he places a hand on your cheek and runs his thumb over your lip. It always makes a shiver go up your spine and goosebumps flood across your skin.

The man is cold-blooded. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him embarrassed in your entire life. You’ve tried to make him turn red hundreds of times, but it’s practically impossible.

Xigbar

This boy LIVES to make the red color rise to your cheeks. Whether it’s pinching your ass when he walks by you in the hallway, kissing you hard and long enough to make your knees weak, or teasing you in front of the other members, Xigbar has a huge variety of ways to make your cheeks heat.

You can make him flustered on occasion, but it’s only when you really take him off guard. You can whisper something seriously raunchy and naughty into his ear and he won’t bat an eye, but kiss his cheek and tell him you love him before the two of you fall asleep at night and he becomes a complete mess.

Xaldin

Doesn’t do it on purpose. He’ll say something overwhelmingly kind, not realizing that it’s a nice thing to say, and it just takes you so off guard that you’re completely frozen in place. You’ll be just out of the shower, looking in the mirror and frowning down at yourself and saying that you want to lose weight or get a tan or something, and he’ll just be passing you to take his own shower and say something like, “you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen in my entire life, you don’t need to change.” And you’re in tears and speechless???

Nearly impossible to make him turn red and flustered. Sometimes he doesn’t really get things that are supposed to make him embarrassed. He’s the literal embodiment of the meme that’s like “i like your pants” “thanks, they were 50% off” “i’d like them 100% off ;)” “the store can’t just give away free stuff, that’s a terrible way to run a business.”

Vexen

Okay, so Vexen doesn’t understand how what he says is embarrassing. The two of you are together, right, but he’s just so blunt sometimes that he doesn’t realize what he’s saying is Too Much. You’ll be doing your annual physical with him and he’ll say something really forward that he doesn’t even realize is offensive or embarrassing because he’s TOO into what he’s doing, so you have to stop him and be like “what the fuck, Vexen”

Not easy to fluster, but a blush looks great on him because his cheeks are so pale. A key way to get him red and embarrassed is to correct his work - like his math or his science or whatnot. It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes he’s so tired and so full of caffeine that he ends up making a mistake, and if you correct him, his cheeks will glow a bright pink.

Lexaeus

Doesn’t make you flustered on purpose but loves when he does because you look so cute with red cheeks!!! He’ll pinch your cheeks and hug you, which makes you feel even more embarrassed, but it usually starts out with him picking you up and spinning you around like you don’t weigh anything when he’s really happy about something.

Such a big teddy bear, he’s easily embarrassed. Once got lobster red when you reached out to hold his hand, but he’s gotten better about it. Now only gets really flustered at horrifically obvious displays of affection.

Zexion

Oh my sweetheart never tries to embarrass you on purpose. Sometimes it just happens when he’s being a little too sweet or something. He’ll be reading a book in the library and absentmindedly pay you a compliment that just makes you go completely silent. He’ll realize that you haven’t responded and just look up to see your red face. “What?” “... Nothing. I have to go right now immediately.” And you bolt out of the library and he’s just left wondering what made you suddenly change your behavior.

Blushes at everything. He’s the worst at blushing because he tries to be all stiff and formal but he’s really just a precious boy who is too young for what he’s been through. A little playfulness to remind him that he’s still young is the greatest way to get him to turn red.

Saix

Hooo boy this man knows exactly what he’s doing even if he pretends like he doesn’t. He acts all innocent, running his hand up your arm and murmuring soft words to you, even if it’s just what your mission for the day is supposed to be. HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING.

Saix is one of the most composed people you’ve ever met in your life and it’s very rare for him to ever show emotion outside of his rock-solid exterior. You sometimes get him to blush when the two of you are in bed and you end up surprising him with something you say - and yes, it’s a full body blush.

Axel

Goes out of his way to embarrass you or make you flustered and red, but is super subtle about it. Will say something in passing or as he’s leaving the room that will just leave you all screwed up and stuttering. Axel won’t ever intentionally embarrass you, but anything that makes you halt in your tracks is fair game.

There was only one time where you fully managed to make Axel’s face as red as his hair. He doesn’t like it when people are serious - you know, he has a playful attitude in general. So when you stared deep into his eyes one day, both hands on the sides of his face, and determinedly told him that he was a good person who deserved all the love in the world? His skin turned a deep, dark red. Secretly loves when you manage to fluster him because like “damn babe, you got me there”

Demyx

Like Axel, Demyx goes out of his way to make you flustered, but he is completely and unashamedly obvious about it. Goes nuts trying to find new ways to embarrass you. He’ll tap you on the nose when he’s super close to you, but steps away before a kiss, flirt unashamedly with you in front of the other members, propose you play things like strip poker or work out together and whoever wins a round has to take off a piece of clothing. Literally anything is fair game to Demyx.

You’ve tried your hardest to embarrass him, but the boy is shameless. Anything you’ll try, he’ll just grin and pull you closer and say, “aw, babe, you’re so cute.” Basically it always backfires on you and benefits him.

Luxord

Luxord knows that the best way to make you completely flustered in his presence is to lean down and kiss your hand like a proper English gentleman. He’ll look up at you from where his lips are pressed against your palm and wink, and you’ll roll your eyes and shove him away but your cheeks will be completely red.

Surprisingly, it’s fairly easy to make Luxord blush, especially when you push against his ‘delicate sensibilities.’ Go along with his flirtations and make a few of your own and he simple won’t know what to say.

Marluxia

The boy is sensitive, okay. He’s got Feelings, even if he doesn’t have a heart. Doesn’t get why he should try and embarrass you or make you flustered. “That would just be mean?? Why would I want to do that and end up hurting your feelings?” “Well, a little teasing doesn’t hurt every once in a while, Marluxia. It doesn’t mean you have to be mean.” Little did he realize that every time he left a giant bouquet of flowers next to your bedside - usually after some really good sex - he made you blush beet red.

Fairly easy to fluster tbh. Run your hand up his arm, mess with his flowers or his hair, trace your fingers up the side of his neck, make him breakfast in bed??? All good ways to make him go red.

Larxene

Larxene only usually makes you red when the two of you are alone together. She knows what it’s like being a girl in the organization and being seen as weak when you show as little as one (1) emotion, so she won’t embarrass you until the two of you are alone. Usually that entails something she says or if she stands incredible close to you and pushes some of your hair from your eyes, but it could be anything really.

Extremely difficult to make flustered. She’s a hardened warrior who doesn’t bend for anyone, so the idea of having anything bother her is almost inconceivable. However, you found that talking in a baby voice to her is the key way to make her turn red. You wouldn’t dare do it in front of anyone else, though.

Roxas

Not good at making you flustered. If he tries to embarrass you, he usually ends up making a fool of himself on accident. Easy to embarrass because he embarrasses himself, but it’s a cute kind of embarrassment. He’s just too adorable for words.

There are times, though, when Roxas is just??? Completely unashamed by anything. He’s Too Much.

Xion

Xion only makes you flustered whenever she’s being particularly, overwhelmingly sweet. She doesn’t even do it on purpose. She’ll just say something so cute and adorable that you can’t help but give her a blinding grin and stutter a bit.

She always buries her face in her hands whenever she happens to get flustered, like when you kiss her cheek her smile gets so wide that she can’t contain it.

#organization xiii #organization xiii headcanons #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts headcanons

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mullethyuck · 6 years ago

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get to know me tag

i got tagged by the super rad @icecreamistheelixroflife, thanks dude!!

rules: answer the questions and tag 10 followers you want to get to know better

(putting it under the cut though bc it’s long)

first name: ash

last name: i don’t really wanna give that out so i’ll give you my middle name lmao it’s beth

age: 23

hair color: currently it’s like half my natural color (brown) and half....teal? i guess?? idk man it was purple, then blue, then green, then i tried to strip the color but it didn’t work so now i’m trying to grow it out and it’s a mess pls save me

favorite fruit: pineapple is my shit tbh

favorite season: summer bc i’m a ho and all i own are crop tops plus it’s my birthday season

favorite animal: sharks!! my fave is the cookie cutter shark they’re rad af

favorite fictional character: iwaizumi hajime is my best boy i deadass have a tattoo of his name

favorite tv show: haikyuu!! oh man idk how many times i’ve binged it lol i quit counting after rewatch #6

favorite color: black bc i’m going through my emo phase

dog or cat person: both ofc

star sign: gemini

height: 5′2″ (157cm)

put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 4 songs:

4419 // stray kids

record me // kim dong han

down and out // the griswolds

quit // lany

grab the nearest book next to you and turn to page 23. what is line 17? i’m not at home right now so the only book near me is an empty notebook i’m gonna use to work on fanfic after i finish this post tbh

ever had a song or poem written about you? not that i know of, no.

when was the last time you played air guitar? you know what i don’t think i’ve ever played air guitar...but fun fact whenever i feel awkward my panic response is to do the robot so i did that a few hours ago

what’s a sound you hate? one you love? oh god i hate the sound of people chewing...i love asmr (i listen to it every night to fall asleep) but i will never understand why people enjoy listening to someone eat in high definition like i really can’t handle it. but i love the sound of skates on ice, especially the sound of landing a jump or stopping in hockey skates. actually i love any hockey sounds tbh i’m a huge hockey fan

do you believe in ghosts? obviously, yes. i’m like 99% sure i’ve seen a ghost actually

do you believe in aliens? hell yeah and i’m ready to be abducted

do you drive? if so, have you crashed? yes and yes rip

do you like the smell of gasoline? god no

what’s the last movie you’ve seen? uhm honestly i don’t even remember, i think it was ocean’s eleven?? i barely ever watch movies ngl

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? ok major trigger warning here but like five years ago my self harming was the worst it’s ever been and literally every inch of my body from the chin down was covered in cuts, burns, bruises, etc so that was rough to get over lmao

do you have any obsessions right now? i mean have you seen my blog? i’ve also been obsessed with shameless though wow i missed that show anD SPOILER ALERT BUT I’M SO HAPPY MY BOY MICKEY IS BACK

do you tend to hold grudges? nope. getting too personal here again bc that’s my Brand but i have borderline personality disorder so i’ll get super pissed about something then ten minutes later i’m over it and it’s like it never happened

in a relationship? nah

tumblr crush: this blog is super new so i don’t think i really have one yet just bc i haven’t been following any of these blogs very long...but if i had to pick it’s probably @kkyuun just bc they’re super sweet and their gif edits are amazing

dream trip: ireland!! also after i finish school i wanna teach english in either japan or korea so i guess that counts as well?

post your most recent selfie: well i already did for selca day so here it is i guess

ok i tag @mildlystressedout, @cosmicjooheon, @jyp-stray-kids, @twinrejects, @kimkkibum, @montothebebee, @monstaxamirite, @emotiadouche, @jaebumagase, @monbeslay, and @p-a-r-a-d-o-xx!! feel free to ignore this if you’ve already done it or just don’t want to lmao love y’all x

#i can't believe i got tagged wow thanks jess #also i don't know like any of my followers so really @ anybody who wants to do this u can say i tagged you

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago

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Survey #146

“peace sells, but who’s buying?”

Have you ever been arrested? For what? No. Do you like Pres. Obama? Why? Don't even fight me, dude was funny. From a political position, I can't answer. I didn't pay enough attention to form a well-supported opinion. Do you know how to change the oil in your car? Nope. At what age did you obtain your driver license? I don't have it yet, but I do expect to probably get it this year. Do you like Slim Jim’s? g i m m e What are you favorite kind of chips? Spicy Cheetos. Are there any plants in your house? I think there's none... How important is it for you and your partner or friends to share a similar taste in music, movies, shows, etc? Not very important at all. What sort of compliments make you feel the best? Because I'm a self-conscious piece of shit, calling me pretty or something of the sort and actually sounding sincere can brighten my whole day. Also just a compliment on my behavior means a lot. If you have a pet, do they sleep with you at night? Roman does. <3 He sleeps on my hip, arm, or curled beside me. What is the climate and geography like where you live? Usually warm, humid as fuck in the summer... We live in a pretty flat area. Farming terrain. Do you have a Facebook? If no, then why not? Yeah. Has there ever been a murder in your town? Yeah. Are you someone who has to analyze everything? AAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Are you too sensitive for your own good? YUP. Do you still have pictures of you and your ex best friend? I'm sure in old photo albums Mom keeps. Where does your grandma live? My only living one technically lives in Florida, but she stays in NY with her son's family a lot. Probably doesn't much now that she's married, though. Is there a mirror in your room? We have one we need to put up on my door. Have you ever done hard drugs before? No. Have you ever lived with a roommate before? Jacob and Amanda when I was in the apartment with Jason. What's the littlest you have slept in? Naked accidentally lmao. What is your favorite juice? Mixed ones. Particularly mango ones. Do you love one parent better than the other? Yeah, admittedly. But I adore them both. What’s the best club you’ve ever been to? Never been. Do you prefer hardly toasted at all or burnt toast? You will never see me eat burnt toast. Are there any forms of Art you personally find pointless? I will never in my entire life understand why scribbles a two-year-old could make sometimes sell for thousands. But for the artist themselves, if it's therapeutic, then, *shrugs* Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? YUP and my mom would always try to fix it. I still do it. Who were the last two girls you texted? Sara and Mom. When was the last time you completely broke down? Uhhhh I'm unsure. Have you ever gone to court? Yeah, but only to explain to a judge why I felt I should be released from the mental hospital sooner. Won. They wanted to keep me for a whole month and I was like um fuck no, especially when your facility sucks. When was the last time you felt left out? *shrugs* Do you know if women in your family tend to get gray hair early? Have you yourself ever had a gray hair? Idk, and no. Who in your family has the longest hair? How long is yours? Nicole easily has the longest. The longer side of my hair just barely passes my ear. What professional teams do you and/or your family root for? Dad's for the Carolina Hurricanes and Cleveland Browns. How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. What’s your favorite bird? Barn owls. Does your car have an alarm? I don't have my own car. Mom's doesn't. What about your house? No, but Teddy and Bentley suffice well. Have you ever seen your siblings naked? As kids, sure, and then Nicole has like zero shame walking around the house naked after a shower to get clothes. Did you ever really believe in the tooth fairy? Lol yeah. Would you ever get your legs waxed? No, sounds painful as fuck. Especially when your hair's as thick as mine. @_@ Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? HELL NO. It looks n o t h i n g like me. Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Both. Are you unemployed? Yeah. Do you think the govt has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? Tbh maybe. Like, have you not heard the billion ideas that could cure cancer, but these ideas are never pursued? And even those that have been, I would not at all be surprised if one way or even multiple have been found but kept silent because the world runs on money. Might as well let people stay sick and milk millions out of them, right? I don't trust the government for shit. Do you have a Mexican friend? Yeah. Are both of your parents still alive? Thankfully. Was your ex born in America? All but one, although I really don't even consider us as ever dating. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? I don't have a personal Instagram, no Snapchat, and I literally only have a blank Twitter to like Mark's shit get on my level. What was the last thing you were stressed about? Uhhh how am I blanking on this. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? Pool. I could never handle a trampoline again with my knees, plus it just doesn't entertain me as it did as a kid. Do you have the same favorite colors you had when you were a kid? Yeah. My favorite color has always been hues of red. What do you like to put in your tea? I hate tea. Who have you been told you look like? My sisters, at least somewhat. And Mom and Dad. What color are your doorknobs? Gold. Do you own a bobblehead? No. What do you make wishes on? Nothing. What is your city known for? "You mean Tennessee?" What is your state known for? Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Bojangle's, probably half of all country bands... What’s your favorite Paramore song? "That's What You Get." What was the subject of your last photo shoot? I couldn't tell you the last time I was in what I'd call a "photo shoot," not since I was a kid... The most recent one I did was of Colleen and her son. What are some of your favorite sounds? Wind chimes, waves, fire crackling, the breeze through leaves, sARA'S SINGING YOU GO AMY LEE... lots of things. When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do? There's a chance I'll be dumb and butt in if I think I could defuse the situation, but I'll sometimes just awkwardly stay silent. What’s your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot? I dunno, that's broad as hell... If you had to choose, would you rather be an alcoholic or pothead? The latter. What are you listening to? A Jeffree Star video oops I've fallen in love with him tbh. What if someone asked you to be in a relationship with them? I'm already happily in one so the answer would be no. What will your next piercing be? It's probs gonna be my collarbones. Your phone is ringing. It’s your ex. What do you say? Well I know none of my ex's numbers but Girt's, but I'll just say I knew them. Aaron, I'd be very confused considering we haven't talked since like freshman year, but greet him like I would any old friend. Juan or Tyler, wouldn't answer. Girt, answer like normal. Jason, tbh I'd answer and do whatever I could to show how much better my life is without him. Bitchy but idc. After the shit he shoved me into, I want him to know I came out better than ever. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? Quite a few times but still not enough weeps. Will you kiss that person again? YEAH. Do you like champagne? Never tried it. Do you like cinnamon on your apple pie? I hate pie. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert? Only been to one, but yeah. Do you use a comb or brush? Mostly a comb now that my hair's short. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches? It's the part I eat first. Have you ever had a vacation where you stayed in a cabin? No, I wish. Would you rather call or text? Omfg do not call me. What color would you dye your hair right now if you could, and it was guaranteed to look good? Okay so currently I'm dying (hawhaw) to get this mostly peach color, but have it fade to fiery, reddish-orange on the longer side. It's based on a picture and would cost over $100, so. Guess who's not doing it anytime soon lmao. Do you like the way you look naked? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Have you ever dissected an animal? In high school. Do you believe that humankind has a future in space (will we live there some day)? Maybe. Probably, actually. What (not who) do you care about? Gay rights, animal rights (no, not to PETA degree), equal human rights in general, the first amendment, maintaining peace/pacifism, conservation efforts... I'unno, lots of stuff, if you want the answer to be like, big topics. Who or what is really the absolute root and source of all evil? Discontent. Now this itself doesn't always lead to evil actions, but just about any malevolence I can think up stems from that. Has anyone ever led you on? No. Would you rather date someone 4 feet tall or 9 feet tall? The former. What is the one thing you do that your friends wish you didn’t? I've heard "don't be afraid to reach out first" a billion times. Do you believe you have a soul? Yes. Would you rather have a child that is more confident or more curious? Curious. Ask questions, learn things. Who influences you to be the way you are? LOTS of people! What is one idea that you live by? Yikes, that's hard. But I suppose one of the biggest is that caring about the world and what's within it does wonders. How can people act to make you want to get to know them? Be super open, honest, and shameless of yourself. See the positives, SHOW you clearly care about others, have passion... and if you're funny, that's a bonus. When are you at a loss for words? It's honestly rare I seriously am. If I in person was to witness something like abused dogs screaming at being pet for the first time, that'd almost definitely get me. What is the worst time to be alone? When suicidal. You. Need. To. Talk. What do your parents do that you will try never to do? I'll never smoke like Dad. And I'm never having kids, but if I did, I would never, ever spank them like Mom did me and my sisters. Who is your favorite visual artist? Some folks on deviantART. The three probably in a tie are NukeRooster (I prefer lots of her older stuff, though; also got permission to tattoo one of her paintings one day yeets loudly), sandara, and Culpeo-Fox. What is the most magical thing that has ever happened to you? I'm fucking pathetic that time Mark reblogged my gif lmao my soul evacuated my body and left me for dead for like three days & nothing felt real. Whenever that gif comes up in my activity now, a single tear falls. Do you have high blood pressure? No, it's usually kinda low. Have you ever pumped gas? No. I'm 22. Weeps. Do you have any appointments this month? I have a therapy and psychiatry appointment monthly, so yes. Do you like bras that have removable straps? h u n n y I ain't in the Itty-Bitty Titty Committee so it makes no difference to me, me wearing bras without straps is a danger to society. What are you the most sensitive about? Can we like never comment on my weight. Actually, scratch that, that's not the worst. I would probably rip someone's eyes out and sob for a week if someone claimed I did Jason wrong. I'd fucking lose it. Have you ever left a mean unsigned note? No, I don't think I've ever left a mean note. What are three things that you try not to think about? Perhaps more than anything is the fact one day, I may become immune to the medications that played a big role in saving my life. I try really, really hard to never think about that. I do pretty well at that, thankfully... Two others are hazards of me driving and the possibility of getting another job that only flops. Is casual sex acceptable for you? Abso-fucking-lutely not. What form of sexual protection do you use? Being in a gay relationship lmao. Okay but seriously I take birth control, but for my period. Do you believe in the need for political correctness? It's gone way too goddamn far jfc. Does anyone have a video tape of you doing something embarrassing? Mom probably lmao. What is the worst fault a person can have? Abusive. Who have you read a biography about? Ozzy Osbourne. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try? BELIEVE IN YOUR CAPABILITIES!!! Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? Maggots, slugs, some spiders and insects, centipedes... If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)? Nope. Do/did you always say goodnight to your parents before bed? No. Are there any holidays you don’t celebrate? It'd be easier to tell you what we do celebrate.

#survey #quiz #questions

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quranreadalong · 6 years ago

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#165, Surah 33

THE QURAN READ-ALONG: DAY 165

We will get to Mohammed’s sexual adventures today, but first: more whining about the cowardly fake Muslims. Some of them, 33:20 informs us, would rather be in the desert with the Bedouin clans than have to serve under Mohammed in battle (this is making me sympathize with them tbh). They should remember that Allah has sent Mohammed as an excellent example, a paragon of virtue, and therefore everyone must pattern their behavior on his own. (For someone who loved to declare his religion free of saint nonsense and such, Mo sure did a fine-ass job of turning himself into a pure holy man eh?) Therefore, real believers weren’t afraid of the siege, because Mohammed wasn’t afraid of it. Real Muslims simply believed that “Allah and His messenger are true”.

Good Muslims are the ones who stood with Mohammed in battle (or rather ready for battle), bad ones are the hypocrites who were afraid and wanted to turn tail and run. Maybe Allah will forgive them, maybe he won’t. Well, fair enough. Neutral so far. We’ll finish up this particular topic with a recap of the events:

Allah repulsed the disbelievers in their wrath; they gained no good. Allah averted their attack from the believers. Allah is ever Strong, Mighty. And He brought those of the People of the Scripture who supported them down from their strongholds, and cast panic into their hearts. Some ye slew, and ye made captive some. And He caused you to inherit their land and their houses and their wealth, and land ye have not trodden. Allah is ever Able to do all things.

Those last two ayat are in reference to the poor Banu Qurayza, of course. Allah tells us that their brutal end was his doing, which is bad. Hey, at least the bloodiness of the massacre meant that they made it into the Quran! Most of the Bedouin clans Mo & Crew raided never even got a mention.

At any rate, we are now going to start talking about Mohammed’s wives. This entire section is in fact personally addressed to them. It begins in 33:28, in which Mohammed says that if his wives prefer “the world's life and its adornment”, then they should leave him. But if they stay with him and are good, they will be rewarded (in heaven). I guess that qualifies as a good-Muslims-go-to-heaven ayah and is good? Whatever. Moving on to the meaty part.

O ye wives of the Prophet! Whosoever of you committeth manifest lewdness, the punishment for her will be doubled, and that is easy for Allah. And whosoever of you is submissive unto Allah and His messenger and doeth right, We shall give her her reward twice over, and We have prepared for her a rich provision. O ye wives of the Prophet! Ye are not like any other women. If ye keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft of speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease aspire (to you), but utter customary speech. And stay in your houses. Bedizen not yourselves with the bedizenment of the Time of Ignorance. Be regular in prayer, and pay the poor-due, and obey Allah and His messenger.

Oh lord. Let’s break this down.

The first ayah is talking about sexual immorality (fahisha). Previously, in the fourth surah, we saw that slave women get half the punishment as free women for such things--interpreted in the ahadith as subjecting them to flogging but not screaming at them. Mohammed’s wives, on the other hand, deserve to be punished twice as much as typical free woman for sexual immorality. What that means, exactly, we don’t know. Twice as many lashings? The death penalty, but extra spicy? None of them were ever found guilty of adultery (that one “slander” of Aisha was the closest they ever came to that), so it’s unclear.

Regardless, the second ayah tells them to be submissive to Mohammed (oh, “and Allah”) to get their heavenly reward. Telling women that they have to be submissive to their husband is bad and no, “doeth right” does not make up for it. The third ayah is a bit strangely translated, but you probably get the idea: Mohammed’s wives shouldn’t flatter men or speak to them in flowery language, in case it makes the men feel like they’re flirting with them. They should just speak plainly and should not use any language that could be interpreted in more than one way. Policing how your wives talk to other men seems pretty bad, tbh, but in comparison to the line before and after this, I guess it’s neutral...

Finally, 33:33, which literally instructs Mo’s wives to “stay in your houses” (which is bad). It means exactly what it sounds like: they had to stay in their houses unless they had some pressing issue requiring them to leave. Men could talk to them in their homes, but (as we will see later in this surah) they could not look at them--they had to address them from behind a curtain. This is the literal meaning of the word hijab. Some “Muslim feminist” types claim that the tradition of female seclusion only entered Islam after it absorbed Persian culture or some such bullshit. But as you can see, it was a codified part of the religion the whole time. Yes, this verse is addressed to Mo’s wives, specifically. But Mo’s wives were supposed to be role models for other women.

Also, in case you were wondering what “bedizen” or tabbaraj means, Ibn Kathir offers various opinions:

“Women used to go out walking in front of men, and this was the Tabarruj (flaunting) of Jahiliyyah.”

“[It means] When they go out of their homes walking in a shameless and flirtatious manner, and Allah, may He be exalted, forbade that.''

"Tabarruj is when a woman puts a Khimar on her head but does not tie it properly.'' So her necklaces, earrings and neck, and all of that can be seen.”

So... Mo’s wives can’t walk in front of men, can’t walk like it’s for sale and the rent is due tonight, and/or can’t leave their headscarves hanging straight down so their necks are uncovered. Take your pick, but all options are shitty.

One last curious note here. The last ayah above, 33:33, concludes:

Allah's wish is but to remove uncleanness far from you, O Folk of the Household, and cleanse you with a thorough cleansing.

As it happens, this sentence is a bit of an odd duck. Despite being stuck to the verses commanding Mohammed’s wives to seclude themselves, a hadith says it’s about a completely different thing:

'A'isha reported that Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) went out one norning wearing a striped cloak of the black camel's hair that there came Hasan b. 'Ali. He wrapped him under it, then came Husain and he wrapped him under it along with the other one (Hasan). Then came Fatima and he took her under it, then came 'Ali and he also took him under it and then said: Allah only desires to take away any uncleanliness from you, O people of the household, and purify you (thorough purifying)

Hasan and Hussein were Fatima and Ali’s sons, with Fatima being Mohammed’s daughter. So “people of the household”, or ahl al-bayt, evidently just means Mo’s family members. Ibn Kathir notes this hadith, but then notes a dissenting opinion:

[Ikrimah, a slave/student of Mohammed’s cousin, said] "This was revealed solely concerning the wives of the Prophet.'' Ibn Abi Hatim recorded that Ibn `Abbas said concerning the Ayah: "It was revealed solely concerning the wives of the Prophet.'' `Ikrimah said: "Whoever disagrees with me that it was revealed solely concerning the wives of the Prophet, I am prepared to meet with him and pray and invoke the curse of Allah upon those who are lying.'' So they alone were the reason for revelation, but others may be included by way of generalization.

Hmm. Ibn Kathir tries to make sense of the dissent here by saying that this “people of the household” verse applied to Mohammed’s wives and Fatima and her family, thus why it’s included in a section directed at his wives. That makes sense, I suppose, though clearly some people like Ikrimah here believed it solely applied to his wives and that the story about how it related to Fatima, Ali, et al was false.

For the record, there are other versions of the story about Mohammed wrapping Fatima’s kids with his cloak, and not all of them have this verse affixed to it. So it may be an improper conflation (or it may be a legitimate one! Who knows!). The fact that it directly follows a list of demands for Mo’s wives indicates to me that it was at least partially directed at them, in the sense that doing all these things will make them “pure”. It doesn’t really make sense otherwise.

But anyway. This section concludes with Mo telling his wives (or... whoever) to remember Allah’s revelations.

We’re around halfway through the surah, so I’ll leave it there for today. More on Mo’s sexual adventures later. Stay in your houses and don’t walk sluttily til tomorrow, pls.

NEXT TIME: The Prophet (PBUH) outlaws adoption so he can sleep with his daughter-in-law, and other tales of moral uprightness!!!

The Quran Read-Along: Day 165

Ayat: 15

Good: 1 (33:29)

Neutral: 9 (33:20-25, 33:28, 33:32, 33:34)

Bad: 5 (33:26-27, 33:30-31, 33:33)

Kuffar hell counter: 0

⇚ previous day | next day ⇛

#surah 33 #al ahzab #quranreadalong

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impishfox · 6 years ago

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Thank you so much @emovatore for tagging me :3 ILY ♡ ♡ ♡

♡ name: Veronika ♡ zodiac sign: Scorpio! ♡ height: 156 cm // 5′11′′ (yes, i’m smol, i knOW) ♡ languages spoken: Czech, English and Russian ♡ nationality: Czech ♡ favorite fruit: Peaches atm ♡ favorite scent: Vanilla, cotton, wild strawberries and uhh... fixative spray :’D ♡ favorite color: Pastel pink and black ♡ favorite animal: I’m hUGE animal lover, so it’s rlly hard for me to pick, but... foxes? (*cough* unexpected *cough*) But I have soft spot for cats and horses and I own a dog, so I like dogs as well! And... bees r cute? Snakes?! Bats?? hYENAS! iloveanimalsomghelp ♡ coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: I like tea a lot, but... *sips coffee* Yeah, I need to stay awake somehow :^) ♡ favorite fictional character: hoLY- oh, okay, okay sooo... Ian Gallagher ‘n’ Mickey Milkovich from Shameless (US!), Jerome Valeska from Gotham, Yato from Noragami, Zero Two from Darling in the FRANXX, Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows, Jace from TMI, Prince Laurent from Captive Prince, Hamlet...:’D (it’s never ending list tbh :’)) ♡ dream trip: ooF, London, Saint Petersburg, Iceland, Angkor Wat, South Korea aaaand many more! I’d love to travel all aroung the world ;^; ♡ when was your blog created: In June 2017 ♡ last movie you’ve seen: Love, Simon! ♡ ♡ song you’ve had on repeat: (don’t be spooked by the amount of different genres I listen to) DDU-DU DDU-DU by Blackpink, New Romantics by Hands Like Houses, Get it by Pristin V, Bingle Bangle by AOA, Exorcism by Cyber Diva (remix), Color Blind by Diplo ‘n’ Lil Xan, Weird Dream by Domastic and literally anything from Hollywood Undead, Bad Omens and Of Mice & Men :3 I’m listening to music 24/7 ♡ favorite candy: idk if anyone knows it but chocolate Deli bars ♡ favorite holiday: Halloween although we don’t celebrate it here in Czechia, sadly :<

Anddd I’m tagging @ts4withadrien, @jasminesims, @jolilard, @nebulasim and @xbelorsims ♡

#personal #tag

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musicallisto · 6 years ago

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Hi! Can I have a ship for The Sophomore, High School Story and ILITW? I’m a gay dude with blonde hair and blue eyes. I love musical theatre and I’m obsess with dancing and choreography. My dream is to be able to teach kids ballet. Other than that I love watching sitcoms like Brooklyn Nine-Nine or Parks and Rec. I like to think I’m a normally a pretty friendly person. I do have a pretty short temper and I can be a little mean or aloof if it’s a bad head day. Thank you!

I Ship You With…

Z I G O R T E G A

• I ship you with Zig! So something that really makes me think you would be perfect for each other is your love for dancing and ballet. Have you seen how this boy gets when he talks about dancing? it’s clear that it’s his passion and that he lives for it. So I think that’s something that would really bring you together, and also the way you two would meet. You wouldn’t know each other apart from vague rumors - is that true that Hartfeld is accepting a guy with a criminal record? haven’t you heard that this Zig guy was arrested by the police? -, rumors that you had never paid attention to. When that Zig guy, however, turned out to be in your dancing class, you were intrigued by his past, to say the least, and the unusual circumstances that led him to you. You weren’t afraid of him, as opposed to many other students in your class, and were the first one to ever show signs of kindness and friendliness to him. You had never been the new student somewhere, but could easily imagine how disagreable it must’ve been, especially for someone with a gritty reputation. You were convinced that the actions of his past did not define the man he was, and he was a bit taken aback by your candor and your warmth, but he really appreciated it nonetheless. It was a huge relief for him when you were paired up together for practice, because he pretty much knew (and trusted) no one in the room except for you. The first moves were very, very awkward, because you didn’t exactly know where to draw the line between “we are just dance partners and we are doing a physical and artistical exercise as asked” and “there’s definitely some underlying sexual tension building up in the air”. And after a few dance-offs, the latter definitely won. Or so it appeared when Zig kissed you out of the blue, blushing furiously right after and waiting anxiously for your answer (which was another kiss, because God knew how long you had waited for that moment to happen).

• So two Hartfeld dancers who started dating would definitely not go unnoticed, especially not since it was Zig Ortega, the infamous “criminal” no one seemed to shut up about. At times you heard whispers about your boyfriend and his criminal record that made you want to punch things (and more often than not, punch humans), but the majority of comments were positive and supportive. You didn’t understand why everyone was so nosy though; you were in college, not in high school anymore, so who could be bothered if you were dating Zig or not? At times it really drove you mad, but fortunately you had the support of your boyfriend and your best friends to prevent you from breaking teeth. A quick hug from Zig or a kiss on the cheek right before classes is always enough to calm your nerves and he knows how to deal with your short temper. it can also be a problem since you two have a fiery personality, and usually arguments between the two of you are a battlefield. However, you don’t stay mad at each other for a long time, and are easy to forgive. You’re used to dealing with anger and short tempers by now, and you wouldn’t have Zig any other way after all. Besides, dancing with your boyfriend in front of everyone on D-Day, the last day of your dancing classes, flawlessly moving around with him in your arms and sealing your performance with a kiss, is definitely more pleasing when you’re not busy being offended.

E Z R A M I T C H E L L

• For High School Story, I ship you with Ezra! I originally thought about Michael, but I eventually changed my mind when I thought about non-LI characters, and realized that you would be adorable with Ezra. Once again, it would be your love for music that would bring you together and draw you closer than you would have imagined. You would have this enormous ambition of creating a musical with you. To make it short, it would start after you both were on a musical marathon, and between La La Land and Mamma Mia, Ezra would just ask you “hey, do you wanna create one from scratch sometime?”. It was the craziest idea he had ever had and you happily agreed to do so. The idea was that you would write the dialogue and the plot with the help of other high school students and your writer friends, and he would compose and write all the songs with the band. It was a bumpy ride at first, because you often disagreed on what direction you wanted your creation to take. Ezra wanted to make a super angsty, drama-filled tragedy about two lovers who had to face unbeatable odds to fulfill their passion, and in the end died, à la Romeo and Juliet; but you definitely wanted something lighter, a comedy to clear one’s head after a long day of work. Finally, you came to a compromise and wrote a beautiful tragicomedy with just the right amount of laughter and angst. It was a huge success the day you played it in front of the whole school, and you even got a deal with a local theater to represent it every other Saturday night. It was like a dream come true.

• Another thing you would love to watch in your free time, in addition to musicals (regularly having Hamilton re-runs), would be sitcoms. Like you would have watched every single one on the planet. From Friends to How I Met Your Mother, from The Big Bang Theory to B99, you basically had seen. everything. You were definitely the most invested in the couple, Ezra not watching a lot of them at the beginning - in fact, he avoided them, not really getting the appeal. Sure, humor in fiction was enjoyable most of the time and often touched the viewer, but making a whole series only based on humor? With little to no plot progression or character development? needless to say, you quickly made him change his mind when you watched the first one together, Parks and Recreation, and that was when he realized that, indeed, sitcoms also have plots and in-depth characters. I mean, the boy may be easy-going and fun, he’s also an artsy drama queen, that’s literally his first concern before watching a new show or movie, or reading a book. But you also managed to teach him that some works of fiction don’t need elaborate plots or angst-filled introspections to be enjoyed. And he finally understood it thanks to your sitcom sessions, curled up on a couch together and stealing lazy kisses every now and then.

L U C A S T H O M A S

• I ship you with Lucas! You’re friendly, outgoing and charismatic, but also have a short temper and can get angry easily - that’s exactly the kind of personality that Lucas would seek for in a partner, and he would definitely know how to deal with your sudden anger outbreaks. I think you would balance each other: he would calm you down when you got too upset, and you, on the other hand, would help him get out of his shell, telling him to loosen up and teaching him how to “live a little”. You would also give the BEST shoulder massages when he’s stressed out (one of the many reasons he would love you, tbh). Also, he would totally see when you’re having a bad day because you’re more aloof and distant than usual, and he knows it’s strange, given how cheerful and happy you are most of the time. If it was one of those days, he would lead you out of the hallways for a few minutes in between classes, to breathe some fresh air and talk a little. Sometimes you wouldn’t want to talk at all, and Lucas would understand and respect that, so you would just stay there in silence, maybe losing two or three minutes of class, but Lucas wouldn’t be caught dead skipping classes, so he would just explain he was dealing with presidential matters and lost track of time. Besides, your well-being was more important than algebra. It was one of the most peaceful moments in the world: sitting behind Westchester High School, in the middle of the afternoon, with no one to bother you since everyone was in class, getting lost in each other’s breathing.

• I don’t see Lucas being much of a party animal, so I believe you would be the one who drags him to all the parties you get invited too just because you don’t want to spend the evening alone. It always ends up in a dance-off contest because everyone knows you’re the best dancer to ever grace this town, except the newest additions to the friend group, who are not familiar with you yet and believe they can rival your moves. Very obviously, you absolutely crush and destroy them and their foolish hubris. Lucas watches it with a mixture of pride and amusement in his eyes, because you always get like this at parties, no matter how wasted or sober you are. When you’ve had a few drinks, you would totally take Lucas by the arm and drag him to the middle of the dancefloor for a dance-off with your boyfriend. It’s no use telling you he “doesn’t dance”, you’re a little too shameless right now to care. Your friends in charge of the music know it’s the exact right time to belt “I’ll Make A Man Out of You”, and soon you’re two idiots singing and dancing the night away in a dimly lit living room, ever going, not knowing tiredness, not knowing anything apart all the fun you’re having dancing, yelling and laughing with your boyfriend - and best friend.

Moodboard

Playlist

Mulan - I’ll Make A Man Out Of You

Walk The Moon - Shut Up And Dance (sadly the pronouns don’t fit but the rest of the song does)

The Rembrandts - I’ll Be There For You (Friends theme)

Piotr Illych Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake

ships are closed!

#ships #ship requests #choices #playchoices #the freshman #zig ortega #high school story #ezra mitchell #it lives in the woods #lucas thomas #playlist #moodboard

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astrofireworks · 7 years ago

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okay so when ticketmaster announced that there was going to be a group photo option for the astro ny fanmeet i hauled my ass to the gym for the first time in three years and ahHHHH: a binu version

okay so we know bin goes to the gym fairly often

eunwoo,,,,,,,,,,,, does not,

i mean he probably does but for the purposes of fic let’s ignore that

it takes a lot for eunwoo to go to the gym

mostly because he doesn’t like to exercise around other people bc the people who go to the gym regularly are gym rats and they all are hella fit and he doesn’t want to be the only one puffing away on the elliptical

and so he locates the most deserted gym on campus bc hey if nobody goes there it lessens the chance of running into someone right?

cue eunwoo going to the gym at 11pm at night bc hey, that’s when everyone’s doing their homework or preparing to go to sleep right? who’s going to be at the gym?

nobody

he hopes

eunwoo climbing onto the elliptical and putting his music on and starting a forty minute cycle

also eunwoo being hella bored bc all he has to look at is himself

in the mirror

which i mean, isn’t a bad sight but it’s also kind of boring

eunwoo frowning and hopping off the elliptical

eunwoo fishing his laptop out and by some magical feat manages to balance it between the electronic board and the handles

hell yeah time to catch up on all the fancams he didn’t manage to watch during finals

eunwoo going to his fave btob fansite and loading focus cams of sungjae

good shit!!!!

eunwoo bopping along to the songs on the elliptical and watching sungjae dance

bin blinking blearily at his alarm clock

HECK

he was supposed to wake up from his nap at 6 so he could work out before dinner

it’s now

11pm

heck

bin groaning and tugging his shoes on

thank god there’s a gym right downstairs in the basement of his dorm and thank god literally nobody uses it

bin grabbing his water bottle and heading downstairs

eunwoo jamming out to movie when suddenly this guy comes in

rip

r i p

it’s already too late he has his laptop propped really obviously and a fancam of sungjae is playing he can’t take any of it back

whatever anyway he was here first, this other guy can judge him eunwoo’s leaving soon anyway!!!

bin squinting at the guy in the gym

he’s seen strange things in the gym before

like this one girl filming a dance audition using the mirrors in the gym

but this is the first time he’s walked into the gym to see someone using his laptop on the elliptical

wait

is that a fancam

bin squinting but dammit he didn’t bring his glasses down so he can’t see who the hell the fancam is of

bin lowkey hoping it’s of jungkook so he can watch too bc he’s behind on his jungkook fancam watch-later list

bin sliding onto the elliptical next to the guy

and at this point he’s been focussing on the laptop bc heck he wants to know who the fancam is of

listen when the girl slid onto the elliptical next to me i had a mini anxiety shot bc there were like 3 other ellipticals to choose from yet she picked the one right next to me i nearly wept

eunwoo:

eunwoo @ god: WHY

bin squinting at the laptop bc he doesn’t know if he doesn’t recognise whoever it is or if it’s just bc he doesn’t have his glasses on

bin starting his work out while trying to sneak glances

eunwoo trying his best to ignore the guy next to him

because HECK he’s f i t

he’s had his eyes on the guy the moment he opened the door to the gym and

good lord

he doesn’t know if it’s allowed or whatever to wear tank tops in the gym (it is) but it should be illegal

bc the guy next to him ??? has biceps the size of eunwoo’s face probably

and he’s pounding away at double eunwoo’s speed and he literally isn’t even breaking a sweat

and he looks so focussed and go dd a m n his eyes

asjdlfhakjsd i want to describe it but i literally cannot see bin as sexy he’s stuck as a small whiny younger brother in my brain send help

eunwoo nearly crying

but also crying bc heck sungjae is one beautiful man like has anyone ever biased someone this amazing??? no

bin giving up bc heck !!!!! whoever it is dances pretty well

i mean, nobody, in bin’s humble opinion, can compare to bin’s ultimate bias *flips hair* but

he wants to kn o w

bin coughing slightly and finally looking up at the guy with the laptop and asking: “uh so, who is that?”

woah

forget whoever it was on the screen

the guy next to him???? bin is about to CHOKE

?????????

what the heck??????

even with his hair swept away from his eyes with sweat and his cheeks ruddy

nobody should look this beautiful while working out ????/

bin about to fall off the damn elliptical

eunwoo screaming internally bc HECK

he was anxious enough before with someone getting onto a machine this close to him

and got even more anxious when he looked up and found out the new guy was hella fit ?????

and now ???? the guy wants to talk ?????????????

eunwoo about to chOKE

but also it’s about sungjae and he’s very happy to promote his ult thank u very much

eunwoo: “ah yeah, this is sungjae from btob?”

bin slowing the heck down on his own machine bc he’s damn ready to fkin fly off

if that guy’s face wasn’t enough to stun him off the elliptical his voice ?????????? literally??????????? the most beautiful thing bin has ever heard?????

forget his ult, this guy at the gym is his new ult than k s

and he’s looking at bin with a curious and slightly shy expression and bin’s heart is literally this close to flying out of his chest

eunwoo: ???????

he literally hasn’t responded to eunwoo is he okay

is he that wowed by sungjae bc eunwoo can 1000% relate

so can i tbh and sungjae isn’t even my bias in btob

eunwoo: “uh yeah do you stan btob too?”

wait

alarms going off in eunwoo’s head bc !!!!!!! DAMMIT if he stanned btob he wouldn’t have to ask eunwoo who the person on screen was dhfkdjkhsdjfhalskjdf

ajsdfhlaksjdfh dammit eunwoo !!! good job making a fool of yourself you’re never going to talk to him again good job for messing this up !!!!

bin finally recovering himself and remembering social conventions and yes he has to reply

bin: “ah no, i stan another group haha”

bin:

eunwoo:

eunwoo panicking slightly bc wtf he wasn’t listening clearly before but this guy has the softest voice he’s ever heard and now that he’s looking directly at eunwoo ???????

eunwoo’s pretty sure his face is about to set on fire

if he asks to know more about btob eunwoo doesn’t know what he’s going to do

if he agrees he’s pretty sure he’d combust halfway through them talking asdhfjkasdhlf especially if the guy keeps looking at him the same way he’s looking at eunwoo now with his sparkling eyes and his cute cat smile

but also if he says no he’ll never see this guy again so !!!

what do what do !!!!!!

bin:

dammit he can’t let the conversation slip now ????? what if he never sees this angel again???? so

beep beep time to be shameless

bin: “ah but i’d love to know more about this group, if you have the time?”

eunwoo flushing and nodding before he can stop himself

oh lord

heyyyyy introducing someone to the best vocal group of all time??? eunwoo’s shit 1000%

doing all this without his heart combusting ?? whoops

bin: “ah great, it’s a date then!”

eunwoo: nearly falls off the elliptical

i mean the girl who started talking to me was an army and she left the gym literally two minutes after i told her it was a moonbin fancam but maybe one day ;;;;

#so many cute girls in the world and none i can date #WHY #astro #astro fic #vivi shoots #anyways #dream date: introducing someone to astro #also someone lmk when i'll be able to finally appreciate bin's sexiness #all i can think of now whenever i see him trying to be sexy is ????? idk i just snort #which makes no sense since i can appreciate jungkook just fine #but bin????? he's just #idk???#i can't see yoongi as sexy either so rly maybe it's like an inverse relationship or soemthing #the more i adore them the less sexy i see them as???????? idk #does that even make sense #i dont think so #yeah it definitely doesnt make sense since i can see eunwoo and youngbin as sexy?????? idk #@ brain sort yourself out pls thanks

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mahaliciously · 7 years ago

Text

Atlantis

Rejoice children, for I have finally contributed to the Overwatch fandom with something other than memes.

I’m also choosing to contribute under the flag of my favourite pairing, sadly a rare one, but it’s okay because content is made to be created and I just loved every second of writing this thing!!

It unexpectedly turned out much longer than the initial headcanon suggested, but it’s definitely for the best since it constituted a solid character study for me that’ll help me for my future writings :D

SPECIAL KUDOS TO THE ANON WHO ASKED ME AFTER THE ONESHOT HERE IT IS AND TO THE LOVELY @xallyxcatxs, @tart276 and @gngu FOR THEIR NEVERENDING SUPPORT AND KETTLE NOISES LMAO

burn in cybun hell

And of course, special thanks to @b3tar3ad3r for the beta :D I recommend going to them in case you need help!

IF YOU LIKED THE ONESHOT, DON’T FORGET TO SUPPORT IT BY REBLOGGING IT OR BY CHECKING MY AO3, IT’S UP THERE AS WELL! O/

archiveofourown: click here!

Word count : 8915

She wouldn’t have been able to tell when her heart had started to ache at the thought of him, or when she’d started to miss her shots when she’d hear him laugh through the voice chat. Wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint the exact moment the stories he told her about his love conquests had started to sting, or when she’d stopped making fun of the girls he’d had wrapped around his fingers like rings.

‘yo d.va when u gonna invite genji and lucio again on one of ur streams??’

Hana Song briefly glanced at the Twitch chat before taking down an enemy to her left, swallowing a curse.

‘so trueeee,’ another message chanted. ‘genji was so cute i love his voice’

‘how about lucio? dat dude is a human puppy lmao’

‘rofl’

The chat box was hectic, messages piling up at an incredible speed, english and korean weaving all over the screen. It didn’t bother Hana who was used to the fraction of a second she had to keep up with the fleeting topics and requests. Her bubble gum popped as she eliminated another enemy with a headshot and she readjusted her camera.

“Aww look at this,” she chimed teasingly. “I used to like Lucio and Genji but it does seem like they’re causing my own fanbase to neglect me now.”

The chat exploded with new messages and she smiled for the camera. Inside, she was pretty much crumbling.

She had organised that last-minute stream in hopes to keep her mind off her budding crush and the existential crisis that had come along with it. Instead, her fans had been spamming her for more content with her friends, and by extension, with the one person she was trying to distract herself from.

She almost felt like sighing, though she knew the camera and the attentive eyes that were watching her wouldn’t miss it. She glanced again at the chat box.

‘just genji x d.va gameplay tbh he’s got some dope skills i want to see competition between them’

Her heart jolted in her chest and she missed. The split second was enough to take her down. The camera switched to the kill cam, a flashy crimson message announcing her death as she popped another gum bubble. She almost winced at the ridiculous come and go her character had made that caused its death killed. She’d hesitated.

It was over for her and she didn’t feel like spectating the rest of the game, so she reported her full attention to the chat. What was this ridiculous suggestion to stay in a room alone with Genji Shimada and play videogames until she died of a heart attack?

Impossible.

But it annoyed her more than it embarrassed her. Or maybe a bit of both.

Because she could have organised that a few weeks ago. She could have invited him over platonically, wrecked his ass and watched her entire fanbase cheer for her. Just like she would have invited Lucio today.

But now she couldn’t.

She wouldn’t have been able to tell when her behaviour had changed, but she could guess the trigger. Maybe that one drunk night they’d spent playing a certain dumb fps game was at cause. Maybe finding her intoxicated self on top of him was the reason she couldn’t stare at him anymore without thinking “I want to spend more time this close to him” and “He’s actually pretty cute”. Maybe that was karma getting back at her for all the girls she’d made fun of.

“Alright,” she announced to the camera, waving. “Sounds like that’s gonna be all for today! Stay cool buns, until next time... Love, D.va!”

She grinned, smile as practiced as it could be, fingers into her signature V right before she turned off her camera with her other hand. She only breathed then.

There was no way in hell she could allow herself to fall for the 24-year-old ninja.

Genji Shimada, playboy extraordinaire, was not the kind of guy she’d let herself be involved with romantically. He was one of her closest friends, too precious to lose over a crush, and her ego would never let her drop to the level of the many girls who pooled at his feet. They had a precise friendship that revolved around platonic, shameless flirting and the certainty that she was the girl he’d never have, he the guy who’d never pursue her. It was but a constant verbal sparring that rhythmed their every interaction. Sass against sass. The very origin of their friendship. Their daily dose of challenge.

Truth be told, he was a lot of great things. He was handsome, even with that ridiculous dyed hair of his, funny, a bit of an asshole but caring still, and he was amazing to hang out with. Along with Lucio, they consisted of a great trio.

Genji was the kind arrogant, Lucio the resident puppy, always happy and idealistic, supporting but probably with one of the greatest senses of humour she’d seen in years, and she was the diva, the princess. All three of them were pretty much a walking disaster. Their brains together only amounted to ridiculous ideas like using Lucio’s speed boost to race on a frozen lake and crash into the snow at the speed of fast, or making fidget spinners out of Genji’s shuriken. They’d gotten a bunch of bruises, but a lot of outweighing laughs and she cherished those two idiots more than she’d care to admit.

Becoming close friends with Genji irremediably led to discover that beyond the playboy reputation and the biting sarcasm, he was a loyal friend. He was boastful, barely ever serious. He was terribly friendly, making everyone at ease in matters of seconds, breaking down fights with a couple of jokes any chance he got. She suspected that was a safe reason that led the girls to run to him in bunches. He was quite like the sun. Summer-like. That, and there was his catastrophic flirting.

He was smooth, she’d concede. But ask her secondhand observer side and she could think of a bunch of hilarious pearls she’d teased him with over the years.

But he wasn’t a sun. Or maybe his rays shone so bright they blinded people and kept them from seeing the deep cracks he bore. Just like any human being. She knew that sometimes he liked to sit on his own because being so social exhausted him, she knew that his gaze got lost more often than he’d like to admit, lost in a whirlwind of doubts he bragged about not having. Like if he’d hurt someone with his raw, spontaneous humour, or if he could have done things better.

She knew he dreamed of travels and adventures, knew that he scolded himself for knowing his flaws but never fixing them. He was a child guilty of acting like a child.

And though she didn’t have the same issues as him, she understood them.

But what had definitely moved her was the intensity of his gaze on that night. There had only been the flashing lights of her screens, sculpting his features, maybe dotting his black eyes as he looked up at her. His cheeks had been almost as red as hers from the alcohol, indicative of the obvious drunkenness of her friend. But it shouldn’t have been weird seeing how they’d played drunk a bunch of times before. Definitely shouldn’t have. She’d been laughing, they may have been playing that game where he holds her wrists and she has to push him back because she was a very strong lady. And she’d been. He had still been holding her wrists in his hands, her own chestnut hair framing his face as she looked down at him. His gaze hadn’t been really focused, hazed by the liquor’s effect, but it had never left hers until he’d pulled her to him and his arms had slithered around her petite figure, wrapping themselves around her. It had taken her a moment to realise he was hugging her.

She’d felt his chest against her face, rising and dropping steadily, smelled his woody perfume mixed with sweat and booze and it should have felt familiar. There had been something in the beating of his heart against her ear though, and she’d loved the warmth of his arms, the little drum of his fingers against the small of her back before he’d said:

“I love you.”

Hana groaned at the memory, shaking her head to snap herself back to reality. It hadn’t meant anything. It had been a platonic confession. The kind they threw at each other to joke around, or to really appreciate each other as friends. Because love was way more than the eros and the grand amour. It was something she firmly believed should be told more without any over calculation.

But in the dim light of her room that night, tangled in a messy hug with her friend, lulled by his breathing and the buzz of her console, her heart had fluttered before she’d fallen asleep, and it had been her biggest mistake.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the 8-bit ringtone of her phone and a familiar contact picture lighting up the rectangular screen of the device.

“Hey there, frogman,” she picked up, trying to sound as enthusiastic as humanly possible.

She could feel Lucio roll his eyes before he even spoke. “It’s Mr. Frogman thank you very much.”

“Sure, frogman,” she replied, teasing. “What’s up?”

“Eh well, the usual,” the musician chuckled. “Just wondering if you have any time to kill with Genj and I?”

Once again, she hesitated. It wasn’t like her, but the bubble of unease that was growing in her chest was distracting her coherent thoughts. She opened her mouth, hoping that it would help her brain form a faster sentence, but she couldn’t decide whether to say yes or no. She knew that Lucio wouldn’t press if she refused, and she was afraid to be disappointed at the beep of her phone when he’d hang up.

She bit her lip. “I don’t really know… I could but probably not for long.”

“Feeling sick?”

“Not really, just meh,” she said with a humourless puff, chewing on her gum.

“Huh,” Lucio acquiesced. “Well we’ll get you better. Healing beats by yours truly and all.”

She really laughed this time. A small, but genuine laugh that cheered her up instantly.

“Okay fine, I’ll see you in 20.”

Swiftly, she jumped into her trainers and grabbed her headphones. That along with her phone and portable console were all she needed in her sweatshirt’s pockets to exit the flat and head towards their usual spot, the arcade square.

The weather was fairly nice for an autumn day. She’d grown used to the occasional chill and the complete closet confusion in the morning. She still loved the salted remnants of summer that floated in the air but preferred the calm and peace of office days. The streets were mostly empty, shops deserted from the jam of customers that came in the evenings and weekends, an occasional laughter from one of the nearby cafés would break the tranquility of the walk. As Hana approached the arcade, the city sounds shifted and fluctuated, roadworks and klaxons replacing the flutter of the trees and the exclamations of children in their courtyard, gasoline perfumes weaving with that of coffee and urine. The sun reflected on the glass windows of skyscrapers and towers, its rays slithering their way through the buildings to lit up the cold, shadowed avenues below as she hurried down the underground entrance. A puff of heat welcomed her when she walked down the stairs, the smell of rubber and iron filling her nostrils, chatter and screeching trains swallowing the noises of the city as she aptly made her way through the wide, tunnel-like corridors of the station. It was a common thing to use the tangle of underground networks to avoid the stoplights and the many avenue crossings, and to Hana, it was more convenient as every single crossroads below had far more indications than the streets and the boulevards above.

She let out a sigh when she finally exited the underground to find the flashy neons of the arcade facing her. Lucky for her, her usual spot with her friends was right outside the station, a little square lost between towering buildings that seemed to have forgotten its existence. As such, there was one old tree in the middle, a couple of broken benches, a café and the arcade. The location was meant to be in a fancy business neighbourhood, but the spot had become so hidden by the city’s continuous metamorphosis that it was mostly frequented by students and a few hippy omnics.

She spotted her friend’s ponytail on the first glance.

“Yo Lucio!” she called, grinning.

“Hana,” the young man exclaimed with a soft smile, pushing off his headphones as he stood up to greet her. “You ready?”

“To beat highscores? Always,” she said before looking around. “Where’s Genji?”

She nervously avoided eye contact as she asked the question, which was in itself a very bad idea since the whole point was for him not to suspect a thing. She scratched her arm and forced herself to look back at her friend, adding a smile for good measure. Lucio didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he frowned and focused his entire attention on her. In that instant, she could feel her own heart stumbling like a cartoon character, panic clutching it under the observing eyes of the musician. She caught her breath, widened her smile in hopes to get him off her back. Finally, he shrugged.

“Saw that college freshman from the other day and followed her inside.”

Ouch.

“Of course,” she said with a nervous laugh. “Typical Genji.”

“Right,” Lucio answered, raising a dubious eyebrow.

Sensing the danger, Hana grabbed him by the hand and pulled him after her and into the arcade. The air was cooler inside, due to the many air vents that peppered the walls. It was dimmer there, blues and pinks lighting the huge room and the machines, green strobes running around the walls and the floor. She glanced around and spotted Genji at a shooting machine, not so far from the entrance. There was a girl with him, more specifically in his arms as he seemingly showed her how to use the plastic gun to shoot the enemies.

From where she stood, Hana couldn’t hear much of their conversation, but she could see the way the girl’s shoulders shook in hilarity, the closeness of their two bodies, the way his thumb gently stroke the back of her hand. His mouth was on her neck, hovering, teasing until he pressed a quick kiss under her jaw. When she blushed, he flashed a satisfied smile, borderline smirk that Hana knew by heart. The girl smiled to herself, elated, and moved a bit closer to him. Too busy to flirt, she missed the shot and looked taken aback by the game over screen, causing Genji to chuckle in her neck and nuzzle her.

It was a sight Hana was used to. She’d seen him coax a thousand of girls before, walked on him making out with a thousand more and teased another thousand if they came asking after Genji. She found it funny, entertaining, didn’t mind the PDA. It had become the usual and he barely even flinched whenever she or Lucio would stumble upon him with a girl, almost said hi and asked about their day.

Well, they had limits. Wouldn’t barge in during more private activities.

It was therefore a sight she was used to. But now she was envious. Envious of the way the girl’s hair curled around his shoulder, her hand under his, the giggles that escaped her tangerine lips. She wanted his arm around her waist too, and his hair tickling her temples and his soft chuckle in her ear. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be one of those stupid girls she laughed at.

Her chest swelled with an all too painful sadness. Envy was a terrible emotion. It didn’t come with jealousy or directed anger, it just nibbled at her, brought doubts and fears and swallowed her whole as she sat alone in her room.

Envy was the very reason she was so upset with herself. For allowing herself to stoop so low, for wishing something she mocked so much. She shouldn’t be crushing on Genji. She shouldn’t wish to be a weak girl, a toy. He would probably be too afraid to ruin their friendship, so she couldn’t even stand where that girl did. He would try to reject her as gently as possible, probably feel bad, she would smile. She would understand that he valued her too much to play with her, that she deserved a real relationship, a caring boyfriend.

And yet… She ached for his touch, and it killed her inside.

She felt something around her hand snap her back to reality, and she glanced down to see that Lucio was tightening his grip. She noticed he was responding to her own steel-tight grasp and that she’d been crushing his hand for the past couple of minutes. She abruptly let go and wondered in panic if she’d outed herself to her friend.

“Wow they’ve brought a new machine!” she announced excitedly to hide her embarrassment, cheeks burning. “Sounds like a new highscore for me to set!”

In an attempt to convince him of her genuineness, she turned around and accompanied her exclamation with a little V sign and a wink:

“MVP D.va ready to rekt.”

“Get good D.va, I already set the highscore to beat.”

She jumped when she felt an arm around her shoulders. Only the familiar woody scent and silvery voice allowed her to put a name on their owner. That, and the more unsafe skip of her heart. She took a short breath.

“Do you hear something, Lucio?” she asked, looking away to dissimulate her sudden difficulty to breathe. “It sounds pretty distant, can’t understand a word. Could it be… A scrub?”

“Wow,” Genji gasped. “How could you call me a scrub? After everything we’ve been through.”

“I have sudden amnesia.”

“You mean you forgot our bonding episode over the delicacies of ramen?”

“Completely.”

Genji gasped again. Louder. More dramatically. The sight was funny, quite Genji-like, and just as expected, his honeyed chuckle followed the antic. Hana felt a little flick on her cheek and almost jumped when she felt his breath tickle her ear:

“You look out of it, could it be you’re jealous?”

She almost choked on her saliva as alarms started blaring in her head.

“Please do enlighten me,” she scoffed, not quite looking at him yet. “I can’t seem to catch what I’m apparently jealous of.”

She knew he was smirking as he leaned closer to her ear, murmuring:

“I saw you looking at us moments ago.”

“Saw me? You mean you look at other girls while flirting with one?” she tried, firming her trembling voice with a huff. “Aren’t you the one trying too hard to make me jealous?”

He laughed and she finally felt his weight on her lessen.

“Can’t blame a man for trying,” Genji conceded, shoving his hands in his pockets as he briefly greeted Lucio with a grin.

“Man you guys should totally sort out this tension you two have going on,” Lucio declared, crossing his arms with a little disappointed shake of the head. “The air is getting hard to breathe lately.”

He chuckled.

“Nah,” the ninja replied. “Might miss our back and forths. Genji and D.va, D.va and Genji, how could I ruin our mythical duo? We’re tension builders.”

“He can’t stand ramyun,” Hana commented. “I’m not going out with a wimp who can’t stand spicy food.”

Genji clutched his chest. “Shots have been fired. Lucio, I need healing.”

Their banter was interrupted by an excited squeal from behind Hana. Turning around, she saw the college girl excitedly skip in front of the arcade machine.

“Genji, look!” she exclaimed. “I did it! I killed the boss!”

“See,” Genji cheered, walking back to his companion. “Told you I had a radar for talented girls.”

The girl blushed lightly, flattered by the compliment. Hana watched her look up at him when he reached her, and she could’ve sworn the girl was dying to kiss him. The sight was painfully evident, and though she knew Genji would undoubtedly play with her for a few days before granting her wish, Hana felt repulsed by her obviousness. How much respect was there in not being hard to get?

She rolled her eyes and sighed, meeting Lucio’s gaze as she turned back.

“You totally like him,” he said, taunting her with the biggest shit eating grin.

“I totally don’t,” she protested.

“Oh come on,” he pressed, wrapping an affectionate arm around her shoulders. “You know you can tell Papa Lucio anything. Especially things he’s already figured out.”

“I don’t see what you’re talking about.”

“You totally do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“It’s okay, no need to beg me, fofinho. I’ll wingman you.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

Lucio looked at her for a full second, studying her silently. “I’ll read that as a yes.”

“It’s not!”

D.va pulled her hood over her head, tugging at the fabric to cover half her face as she groaned. What was her life?

“We’re just friends and that’s how it should stay,” she declared, revealing her eyes from under the hood. “That’s just how we roll. You know it.”

A giggle erupted from where the lovey-dovey couple was standing and D.va couldn’t suppress a wince.

“I’m just a bit touchy lately,” she concluded.

Lucio watched her without a word. His gaze had softened, stance more relaxed as he closed the gap between them. He put his hands on her cheeks and squeezed them, giving her a funny fish face as he did so.

“You know,” he said with a smile. “Reality is the mirror of our very own consciousness. What we notice. Change, on the other hand, is what we realise. And maybe it’s our inability to fathom the entire picture that deceives us into thinking that everything is only what we’ve been, up until now, conscious of.”

She pouted, shoving her hands in her sweatshirt pockets, but didn’t answer.

“In other words… You gotta let the beat drop when it has to drop,” he added, laughing. “That’s always the best part of the song.”

This time, she couldn’t help the little smile that tugged at her lips. “That’s pretty deep, Mr. Frogman.”

“Of course it’d be,” he chuckled. “Wouldn’t be selling albums if it weren’t.”

“Still waiting for that autograph, by the way.”

“Still waiting for yours.”

She laughed. There was a part of truth in Lucio’s words, probably when it came to how focused she was on her own interpretation. But it was only in part, and she’d been brooding on her situation long enough to be overwhelmed by fears and doubts. She wasn’t convinced. The change had been too sudden, and it had probably affected her only.

Genji couldn’t be crushing back on her.

Her mulling was interrupted when Genji walked back to them.

“Hana, Lucio, let me introduce you to Aya,” the sparrow’s familiar, cheerful voice chirped. “I asked if she’d like to join us for the day, if you don’t mind of course. Lucky for me, she said yes.”

Oh how Hana knew where Genji was getting to. Knew that he hadn’t mentioned any friends whatsoever. Knew that he was toying with the poor Aya, and her expression as she realised it wasn’t a date was priceless. The little twitch of her smile as she tried to keep a polite face, tried to hide her disappointment. Her gaze lasted a bit longer on D.va, probably measuring how much of a competition she represented. It was petty, but necessary, and Hana was more than used to the calculating gazes of Genji’s conquests. Sometimes, she’d pretend her and Lucio were a thing to get them off her back, or on the contrary, taunt them shamelessly by flirting openly with Genji. The urge for the latter was the strongest in that instant, despite Hana’s emotional confusion. She was a gamer, a challenger, and her passion for games was the hardest to fight.

Pulling out her tongue, she V signed over her eye and stared directly at Aya, taunting.

“As for this beautiful lady,” Genji continued, battling to keep a straight face at Hana’s antic as he pulled Aya closer. “She’s a foreign student going for a history degree, and very probably my heart. I guess you can just call her Mrs. Shimada already.”

Hana rolled her eyes. “Here I thought that title was reserved for me.”

“Should’ve stated your claim on my heart before, darling,” he replied with a smirk. “You took your time and got caught off guard.”

“I don’t need flirting lessons from you, honey,” she scoffed.

“Graciously offering my help only to be brushed off like a mere peasant, do you see that Aya dear?”

The young woman made a tight smile, as though she didn’t feel comfortable with the faked tension. Still, Genji was surefooted and Hana watched him lean in to murmur something in Aya’s ear. It seemed to lighten the mood from the way her features relaxed and she wrapped herself around his arm.

Hana knew that Genji would never badmouth her, that she was sure of. But the intimacy stung, and it took her inhuman efforts to keep a smile plastered all over her face as she watched the two together.

“So how about that new arcade game?” Lucio asked in an attempt to break the tension. “Maybe we should grab something to eat first?”

“Totally,” Genji acknowledged with a strong nod. “I’m starving.”

The DJ gallantly offered his arm to D.va as they walked towards the food court. Gladly, she took it and instinctively moved away from the couple, rather focusing on the arcade machines and the various players. There were younger gamers, boys hanging out together to beat each other’s scores, girls gathering around dance machines or air-hockey tables. Many couples were meeting up at the arcade too, as it called for proximity and adrenaline. Their own voices gradually died in the mayhem of bgm and sound effects as they got closer to the snack bar. There were a few free tables, wobbly, missing a few chairs, but the group settled at one regardless.

It was Lucio and Genji who offered to get the orders, and soon Hana was left alone with the college girl. Though it should’ve been uncomfortable, both girls barely gauged each other, one checking her phone, the other pulling out her portable console to resume her platform game.

Despite the buzz around them, the silence that weighed on them was particular. None could tell if it was rivalry or just plain disinterest that filled the air between them. Not even them. It was just there. An unqualifiable silence.

“Do you think I should pursue this with Genji?” Aya asked finally. She’d said that without looking up from her phone, nails swiftly tapping the tactile screen as she typed.

Hana played with the stylus caught between her teeth, eyes glued on the jumping character of her game. She felt her heart skip a beat at Aya’s question, making her wary of herself.

“What do you mean?” she asked nonchalantly.

“Well,” the college girl elaborated. “You two seem pretty close. I’m not looking for anything serious, but I also don’t want to get caught into any drama between you guys. I have better things to do than play third wheel. So I’m asking for your opinion, because I don’t want to be a thorn in your side.”

Hana blinked.

No, she was supposed to say. Genji is a famous playboy, so it’s kind of our game to flirt back and forth. It’s got nothing to do with any feelings between us! I’m not crushing on him or anything like that. I’m just teasing you. Just enjoy your time with him. If it’s not you, it’ll be another girl.

It sounded more like an inner ramble than a potentially coherent answer. There was no way D.va could say that out loud without sounding like she was desperately looking for an excuse. It looked meek even to her.

Focusing back on her game, she didn’t answer immediately, rather clearing the level until she spoke again.

“There’s no way you could be a thorn in my side since there’s nothing going on between Genji and I.”

“Is it?”

“I don’t see why there should be.”

“Maybe there is,” Aya retorted, flashing a glance towards Hana. “At least from the way I see it.”

The gamer girl pressed the last jump button before the checkpoint and let her character fall into the river. Only then did she look up at the other girl and smirked.

“Are you shipping us, by any chance? Because we do have this one fanclub…”

Aya rolled her eyes with a little laugh. “That’s ridiculous. But it is true that you’d make a nice couple. Maybe Genji’s right. You’re the problem.”

Hana raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not my role to nudge,” the girl answered with a contrite shrug, smiling.

The girl’s smile seemed genuine, which felt weird considering all the mean glances D.va had grown used to over the years. It made it difficult to be upset at this strange girl, and Hana didn’t like one bit of it. It put her off guard, brought down her sarcasm defenses and made them inadequate.

She was confused. She didn’t know what any of Lucio or Aya’s words truly meant. It felt as though they knew so much more than they wanted to let on, and it drove her crazy. They were evasive, puzzling, and she couldn’t figure out a reasonable reason to justify it. A reason her defenses would appreciate. She liked clear objectives, clear instructions.

Not half sentences she couldn’t allow herself to interpret.

She couldn’t afford a game over.

“You shouldn’t bother yourself with interpretations,” she said, though her voice sounded smaller than she would’ve liked as she looked back at her console. “If you’re not looking for anything serious, Genji is the right pick. You’ll both enjoy it.”

Aya couldn’t answer as the boys came back, putting down their trays as they resumed their festive conversation, roaring with laughter. Under normal circumstances, Hana would have joined, bullying them to get them to share the topic. Obviously, they’d tease her, Lucio would pull his signature “Why are you so angry” line as she’d feign being mad. It would probably end with her challenging them to the arcade games in exchange for their apologies, with Lucio breaking the highscore of the dance machine, and Genji fighting body and soul to beat D.va’s shooting game score.

But this time, she was silent, focused on her own little game, barely caring about the surrounding noise. She had too much to sort out and only the repetitive jumps of the character emptied her mind from the anarchy of her thoughts.

She felt upset and confused, and not where she needed to be in that instant.

For the first time in ages, D.va, the outgoing cheeky world renowned gamer, ached for silence and solitude.

“Oh no, my smoothie is already empty.”

“Thirsty much, babe?” asked a playful Genji.

“Very funny,” Aya answered, probably rolling her eyes in amusement.

“Well I do hear that pretty often so… I think I can safely highlight that as one of my many qualities.”

Aya laughed and Hana almost cringed when she felt Genji’s leg under the table as he moved closer to the college girl.

“I’ll go get you a drink,” he announced finally, voice dripping with cajolery.

He stood up, his chair creaking as he pushed it back but was interrupted by Aya’s sudden exclamation.

“Hold on,” she said. “I’ll just come with you.”

And she did, couple walking away, arm in arm as they murmured things in each other’s ears. It was in that instant that Hana made the mistake to look up and meet Genji’s gaze, looking back at her even as he had another girl with him, even as he walked in the opposite way and had no reason to be glancing in her direction.

It had been fast, lightning fast but it had been enough to tighten the knot in Hana’s chest. The knot she’d been carrying ever since Lucio had implied that there could be more than friendship towards her from Genji’s part. The knot that had grown unbearable as Aya implied that she was a problem, that she was a coward. Because none of them knew how much she valued Genji, and how devastated she would be if she were to lose it all.

She felt dizzy, nauseous almost, the sounds around her merging into the most disastrous of cacophonies. She needed to leave.

“Lucio, I think I’m gonna go,” she managed to say as she stood up.

“Are you sure? We haven’t even played yet,” her friend replied, worry starting to paint itself on his face.

“Yeah, I just don’t really feel like it today.”

She smiled at him, shrugging. She was becoming a great actress, even though she knew Lucio was smarter than that. It also meant he wouldn’t press because he knew.

“Okay,” he said. “Just stay safe, okay?”

“I promise, I’m a big girl.”

She hugged him before leaving. A tight hug, the kind that didn’t really need any words, any language. The kind to which he responded with the same strength, if not more. It was comfortable, comforting, familiar. She needed the warmth and the understanding of her best friend, the calm drum of his heart to soothe her and the rugged texture of his dreadlocks tickling familiarly her cheek.

“Don’t worry too much about this, Bunny Hop,” he murmured in her ear as she pressed her face in his shoulder. “Everything comes in its own time.”

She didn’t answer, nor nod. She simply stood up, smile not leaving her face until she turned around and left, not even as she V signed to Lucio to signal that everything was okay.

Nothing was okay.

The walk to the underground station felt surreal, but the cool air of the evening soothed her nerves and made her sight less blurry, though her heart showed no sign of calming down. She took a deep breath as she entered the station, hurriedly walking down the stairs as she pulled out her underground card from her phone case. She’d decided that a packed train would be better than walking through the wide avenues of the city and risking to get run over by a car. She would squeeze in there and give free reins to her thoughts as the stations passed one after the other, people came and went, tunnels started and ended.

The train arrived shortly after she sat down and she scurried inside, apologising as she tightly tucked herself away between two passengers, the lack of space making it useless to cling to any hanging strap. She sighed deeply, pulling her headphones over her ears, scrolling down her music player as she waited for the door to shut down.

She hadn’t found a proper song when someone slipped inside the metro right before the doors closed, disturbing the careful arrangement of the packed vehicle as he made his way to a specific area of the train. She hadn’t planned to look up and glare at the newcomer for lack of interest, but her eyes definitely widened when she recognised his voice.

“Hana.”

It took her approximatively all her self control not to look up at him. Especially when she recognised the orange hoodie and the woody perfume that stood out despite the mixed scents of sweat and dust, she recognised the concerned tone in his voice and she wanted to be far away from there.

She hoped he would think she was listening to music and didn’t hear him. Hoped he would give up.

But the latter was far-stretched.

“Hana, I know you can hear me,” he said, reaching for her phone where no song was being displayed.

Without thinking, she pulled away before he could touch the device, shoving it in her pockets as she lowered her head further.

Fuck, she thought.

This was going horribly.

The train stopped at the next station, the pre-recorded voice repeating emotionlessly the name of the stop as the machine halted abruptly. The jerk sent D.va forward and into Genji. Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around her waist, protecting her from the wave of passengers who hurriedly left the train by fear of colliding with the hasty crowd who tried to get in, and Hana felt almost deaf from the erratic scramble of her heart in her ears.

“Look at me, Hana,” Genji asked again. His voice seemed firm, but in the jolt of the train starting, she could have sworn she heard a slight shake at the end. Whether it had been caused by the movement of the vehicle or something completely different, it would’ve been hard for her to tell, even less bring herself to ask. But when she didn’t answer, she heard him again:

“Please.”

It was way more than she could take. And for that exact reason, she was all the more terrified to look into his eyes.

“I did something wrong, right?”

She glanced at him at that exact second, shaken by the train’s inconsistent trajectory and the unbalanced passengers who bumped into her. Those should’ve mattered, even more so than the chest of the boy in front of her, even more so than the gleam in his eyes as he looked at her. That gaze shouldn’t be tugging at her heartstrings the way it did. That look of pure worry shouldn’t be this intense and genuine.

“No, you didn’t,” she breathed out, throat clogged.

He sighed. “Then why do you look so sad whenever you look at me?”

“I’m not sad,” she mumbled, looking away.

The train stopped again. It was Genji who bumped into her this time, pushed by the incoming passengers until D.va felt the metal of the pole grip against her back. The heat was more intense in this part of the train, probably due to the fact they were far from the doors now and people were the most concentrated where they stood. She almost lost her balance in the tangle of legs below, but held onto the pole to keep herself standing as the train started again. She vaguely wondered how many stops there would be until she’d be able to leave.

When Genji spoke again, she realised he was too crushed against her to be able to look at her, his breath tickling her ear as he seemed to think of an answer, almost stumble as he searched for proper words. She was about to break the silence, narrowly missing the murmur that eventually escaped his lips. The sound was drowned in the screech of the railways, in the cough of a nearby commuter and the whine of a little child in the distance. She hadn’t been supposed to hear him, but she had. It had been crystal clear.

“Why do you make this so hard for me?”

Maybe Genji’s right. You’re the problem.

“Do I?” she asked, tightening her grip around the pole.

He inhaled, taking in the sweet perfume of her hair as a self-deprecating chuckle escaped his lips.

“Yeah,” he said. “You do.”

“Then why not cut me off, if I’m so problematic?”

The train quivered again as it stopped at another station. She quickly glanced over his shoulder to see that she would be able to get off in two more. She tightened her grip around the pole and Genji took advantage of the new wave of passengers to put enough space between them and look at her. She didn’t meet his gaze.

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted, increasingly fed up. “I just don’t know anything anymore. I’ve been struggling for weeks, trying to make sense of emotions that everyone around me seems to understand better than I do. No one wants to explain anything to me and it makes me feel like I’m being toyed with.”

He tilted his head, puzzled. “What emotions?”

She gestured frantically towards the both of them, using the little space she had and sighing all the while in frustration. She shouldn’t be getting this upset. “This… You, me, us.”

“Us?”

“And I just can’t sort anything out. All my attempts at fixing myself fall apart and I don’t know-”

“No, what about us?”

She looked at him then. He had tensed all of a sudden, his gaze intense, maybe expectant. It felt almost like he was hoping for something, hoping for a specific answer but she bit her lip, reluctant to deceive herself with unfounded interpretations.

“There is no us,” she asserted. “At least beyond our friendship.”

Hana would have been unable to describe the exact emotion that flashed in Genji’s eyes in that instant. Spontaneity would have wanted it to be disappointment, hurt, maybe sadness somewhere? Reason, however, couldn’t find any valid argument and she decided to overlook whatever misunderstanding there could be, preferring to blame her own treacherous mind rather than fool herself.

“Right,” he smiled, clearing his throat. “We’re just friends, of course! Wouldn’t want to retire from my playboy days so soon, eh.”

She raised an eyebrow, genuinely startled.

His eyes widened slightly before he looked away, the train’s motion briefly making him lose balance.

“I mean,” he spouted. “Should there be an us… I believe you’d deserve to be more than just another girl.”

If her heart hadn’t been loud enough before, Hana could have sworn she’d heard a gear or two pop out of their place as she struggled to keep herself from paling. No, her reaction was being ridiculous. He was doing exactly what she’d predicted he’d do if she ever confessed.

Remind her that she deserved more than a playboy, and that she didn’t belong with him. That he was nowhere near retirement and that he wouldn’t like her to waste her time on him.

The simple thought was enough to bum her a bit. It was something to anticipate a thing, another to take the impact. And she didn’t think she’d been ready for her pessimistic scenarios to turn out to be correct.

“Which further strengthens the idea that we’re not suited for each other as anything other than friends!” she announced with forced positivity.

She didn’t expect that Genji wouldn’t answer immediately, rather finding a sudden interest in the surrounding passengers he decided to contemplate. He looked back at her after what felt like ages and put on the widest grin he could.

“Definitely, you couldn’t have said it better,” he acknowledged, tensing a bit when the jolt of the train pushed him back into D.va. They were once again crushed against each other, but for the first time since they’d gotten into the train, Hana noticed the way her arms had instinctively wrapped themselves around his waist. She let go.

“So, how does this ‘us’ thing link to people knowing your ‘emotions’ more than you do and toying with you?” he asked after managing to position himself at a respectable distance.

“Oh well uh,” she stammered. “It’s just…”

Her voice trailed off for a lack of explanations. She nervously looked around.

“You know what? I have to go,” she mumbled as the train stopped again. It wasn’t her stop yet, but she needed to leave this place as soon as possible.

Hurriedly, she slipped under Genji’s arm and sneaked her way through the passengers, aiming for the door as the recorded voice repeated relentlessly the station name. It was more difficult than she’d assumed, the compressed bodies barely giving any space for her to leave, each passenger fighting to get in and off the train as quickly as possible.

She felt his hand on her wrist halfway through her escape.

“Hana.”

She tried to free herself from his grip, as the beep signaling that the doors would close soon resonated in the vehicle. But it was in vain.

She didn’t want that frustration building in her chest, or the growing panic that was blurring her sight. She wanted to leave and never have to confront Genji. This was a mess and she hated every second of it.

“Let me go,” she whined almost, still pulling her arm.

“Not until you’re okay!” Genji retorted and she knew he was shaking his head vehemently as he said so.

“Why would you even care?”

“Have I ever not cared?”

She bit her lip, unable to turn around and face him. She hated how right he was.

“Why shouldn’t I care, Hana? Give me one reason and I’ll do it. Right away. I’ll stop caring. Because I care way more than friends should and the fact that… No matter what I do, no matter what I try, I can’t get you out of my head… It’s driving me crazy.”

There was something in the way his voice cracked that made her turn around even as the train rattled again and weakened her balance. Grabbing the pole by the door, she looked at him and the hurt and regret caught in his eyes. There was that and it was although there was so much more than just his voice that had cracked, making her wonder why it was that his sentence just didn’t sound the way it should’ve. Wonder why it was that it made her heart skip a beat.

Maybe it’s our inability to fathom the entire picture that deceives us into thinking that everything is only what we’ve been, up until now, conscious of.

He briefly looked away, breathing out in irritation, fingers still around her wrist. Eventually, he closed the gap between them, pressing her against the plastic of the wall as he prudently cupped her face in his hands.

“Do you know how hard it is for me not to kiss you whenever I see you?” His voice was barely a murmur, lost between a sigh and a whisper. “Do you just have any idea of how hard it is for me not to kiss you right now and you’re asking why I would care?”

Her own consciousness seemed to slip away as she took in his words. She felt numb, but somehow still stood on her feet, as though her body had gone on auto-pilot while her own brain tripped. The sounds around her hadn’t vanished, contrary to what books and movies tended to suggest, nor had the heady smell of the underground or the flickering light of the wagon. But she was painfully aware of Genji’s presence and the weight of his gaze on her, dark and pained, albeit with a flicker of hope and nervousness.

She took a ragged breath, trying to make sense of the fluttering thoughts that invaded her mind. She had to say something, anything, but no words came to her as she only stared at the boy in front of her, his hands burning against her cheeks.

“You’re-” He looked away from her gaze, eyes running over her cheeks, her lips, her chin, as though they held the words he was so desperate to find. “You make it so hard for me to keep it to myself. I’m not brave. I’m not brave enough to risk losing you. I can stay your friend and banter with you back and forth if it means you’ll still call me to hang out. I don’t mind. But it’s so hard. And then you just- you start waving these signs that maybe you like me back, that maybe it’s not so wrong from me to be so wrapped. And I can’t trust myself, but I do, only for you to tell me there is no us and leave again.” He peered at her again and the grunt of the machine below their feet got louder. “Why?”

“I’m scared,” she finally whispered.

“What?”

“I’m scared of losing you.” She drummed nervously her fingers on the pole at her left, head throbbing, heart quaking. “I’m scared of the way my heart has started to run wild when you’re around, of the way I ache for your touch and the confusion and the feelings that build up in my throat whenever someone mentions your name. I’m scared of these feelings, because I don’t know how strong they are and if they’re worth me ruining our friendship over a no-tomorrow adventure. I hate myself for envying all these girls that strut about and end up in your bed, for wishing for what I abhor and what I mock. I don’t want to be them, and yet… It hurts so much not to know what to do.”

“Hana…”

His arms were around her before she could even comprehend what was happening, her face pressing tightly against his chest and the zipper of his hoodie. She felt his hands on her hair and his chin on her head, fingers soothingly playing with her brown locks. She could sense his heart pound against her face, hasty, and for the first time, she allowed herself to hug him back, her hands clinging to his vest like a lifeline as she inhaled his familiar scent.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled in his chest. “I’m being really lame and cheesy right now.”

“It’s okay.” His shoulders shook with the little chortle that escaped his lips and he pulled her closer. She heard his voice through his ribcage, as though there was only him to be heard in the train. “I don’t care. I love you.”

Again, her heart skipped a beat. Just like it had so many weeks ago, as he held her in his arms in a similar way. This time she smelled no booze and no sweat, only the soap of his clean clothes and the incense. She felt precious in his embrace, as though she would break or flutter away, and it felt strange because she’d grown up a soldier, trained by her ragged government. It felt strange, and at odds with her strong diva persona, but she liked the feeling of being protected.

It was supposed to be soothing, probably one of those sweet movie scenes with a ridiculous upbeat romantic music and a guitar in the background. Hollywood had definitely taught her a thing or two about snuggling and letting the credits roll, but right now, she was a disaster. A secret disaster. Her heart was scurrying through her chest, running around alarmingly, brain packing for Hawaii, throat begging to let out kettle noises Hana was desperately trying to stiffle.

There was very few words to express her current state of panic, and even less to describe the inhuman effort she was making at hiding it.

Because Genji Shimada had just said he loved her. Genuinely. And none of her half-baked scenarios had prepared her for the eventuality.

“People might start believing you if you say it so loud,” she scolded in a poor attempt to look nonchalant.

He slid a hand under her chin to make her look at him. “Would it include you if I do?”

Yes.

“What am I to you?” she asked carefully, drowning in the brown of his eyes as she urged herself to play hard to get.

“Much more than the girls you envy.”

“And why would I believe you?”

“I don’t know.”

He’d answered spontaneously, as though it was the most natural response to her question. It felt odd, and Hana realised she’d expected him to have a script readied. A series of smooth lines and compliments to every single one of her questions. She’d expected flowers and his regular Genji gear, but there was none of it and she felt dismayed. The train trembled again and jerked as it stopped, pressing Genji further against her as the usual crowd poured out. The placid voice repeated the name of the station. Her station.

The distance between their faces was negligible, and she only needed to tilt her head to feel his lips on hers. It could’ve looked like an accident. But her gaze was glued on his, on the warmth and tenderness and lit his dark pupils, and she couldn’t move. He was beautiful.

She needed to leave.

“Then why is it that my heart’s still running?”

She felt his mouth at the same time that she heard a sigh, something like defeat, escape him. She couldn’t tell if she’d kissed him or if he had, but as she brushed her lips against his, she tasted exhilaration and something that intoxicated her senses and her thoughts. He cupped her face in his hands and her own instinctively found the front of his shirt, pulling him closer as she tilted her head.

She heard the doors beep, then close, and the train resumed its chaotic journey, bumps and creaking sounds and heat surrounding them.

She’d missed her station.

But right now, as she tangled her fingers in Genji’s hair, it didn’t matter at all.

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