#// BOY i could go on for years about this lmao
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
gyubakeries · 20 hours ago
Text
𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 | j.ww
Tumblr media
a/n: i had a terrible nightmare, but it inspired this lmao. apologies if the plot seems weird, i just went with the flow. hope you like it! (p.s. took me just a week to write this bad boy, but trust, there's more angst on the way! itll take more time bcs im super busy but i promise im gonna deliver angst)
word count: 5k contents: dystopian au , kinda inspired by divergent too , wonwoo x afab!reader , doctor!wonwoo , reader is going to die , a little graphic at the end but for like 2 seconds , flashbacks , forbidden love , HEAVY angst , sad ending
[ present - 24th november, 2024 ]
"756, your three hours begin now," an automated voice booms through the speakers placed in your cell, reverberating through the small metal chamber you've been kept in for as long as you can remember.
the door to your cell slides open, allowing you your last bit of freedom, last few hours of life, before it was all going to be taken away from you.
hyejun, the girl who occupied the cell next to you, comes into view, her eyes already filled with tears. the two of you had become friends of some sort over the last twenty-one years of captivity. although, your friendship wasn't like the ones people wrote about in books or played out in movies.
the Misfits would never have the privilege of a real friendship.
you couldn't tell each other about childhood memories, dreams, goals, or regrets, because the last twenty-one years of your lives had been spent inside the same grey walls. you couldn't go shopping at the mall, or watch movies at the cinema, because you weren't allowed to leave the facility, no matter what.
yet, hyejun was the closest you'd ever have to a friend, which is why it hurt you to see her cry profusely.
"don't cry, you idiot," you laugh, trying your best to keep yourself calm and composed. nothing good ever came out of the both of you crying together. "don't act like you forgot that this would happen some day."
"it hurt less to pretend like it wasn't," hyejun sobs, hugging you tightly. "why did we have to turn out this way?"
you wish you could answer that question.
there wasn't really any research or accurate information on how the Misfits came to be. the only piece of information told to every Misfit child the day they turn three years old is that they didn't have a place in society.
and the next thing you know, you've been shipped off to a facility to spend the rest of your lives as outcasts; as children who were deprived of their life too quickly.
at least once during their twenty-one years in a prison, every Misfit has wondered how this system came to be. who was it that decided what the Misfits were? was there a war? or an uprising? why was it declared that upon turning twenty-four, every Misfit would be executed?
you had resigned to your fate a long time ago. somewhere between the age of five and eight, when you realized that this was your life—living locked up in the facility. it wasn't as restrictive as a prison, as you were allowed to spend time outside your cell for meals, showers, interacting with others, and visiting the in-house library, theater and much more. but you when you learnt that you were strictly denied any permission to leave the place where childhood innocence came to die—you had given up.
you stopped throwing tantrums and crying like all the other children. you stopped wanting to see the outside world again. you stopped trying to live your life. you stopped hoping. you stopped loving.
it was a cruel realization to come to at such a young age, but you never had a choice. your entire life had been decided for you, because of some goddamn reason no one knew, so you gave up on trying to fight the system.
which is why, on the day of your twenty-fourth birthday, when your last three hours on this earth were announced, there wasn't any dread or anxiety filling you. there wasn't any urge to resist and rebel against the oppression you've been subjected to.
you were just another number on the list, the seven hundred and fifty-sixth person to be killed this year.
one of the things you were thankful for was the painless death. back when you were thirteen, an old lady who worked at the facility as a cleaner had given into hyejun's incessant pleas to know how the executions occurred.
the lady had said, "it doesn't hurt at all. first, they inject you with some drug. then, you're taken into an empty white room. they have a machine in there, which i don't know much about, but in merely three minutes, you're gone."
hyejun had ended up in tears after she got to know, but all you could do was laugh to yourself. three years to live a normal life, three hours to spend before you die, and three minutes to completely wipe out your existence, as if you ever really mattered in the grand scheme of things.
ever since you came into the facility, you've seen countless people being escorted upstairs to meet their end. some scream and yell for mercy, some stab a knife into themselves before they die in a way they're not even aware of, and some people, like you, have this empty look in their eyes. they look like lifeless dolls being dragged to their doom, because anything worth living had already been snatched from their hands.
"one hour and fifteen minutes," hyejun whispers, looking at the timer on your wrist counting down your last few moments. "y/n, how am i going to live without you?"
"this isn't called life, junnie," you chuckle, the sound hollow and meaningless. "they should've just killed us before we were brought into this prison. this isn't a life worth living."
"how can you say that?" hyejun asks, and you look at her to gauge her expression. hyejun is one of the many people who still haven't accepted that their days are marked. she's one of the many people who hope that there is a second chance at life.
"i can say it because it's the truth," you sigh. "there's no point in grieving the loss of a life you never had."
hyejun falls silent, her expression distraught, and you feel bad for this being your last conversation with the one person you've spent your entire life with.
your heart softens just a little bit for the person who's shared this meaningless life with you, so you move closer to her on the single bed in your cell.
"i'm sorry, i guess i hadn't realized that you haven't accepted this fate like i have," you apologize, wrapping an arm around hyejun's shoulder to comfort her. "don't be too upset after i'm gone, okay? probably not the best source of motivation, but you'll just have two weeks to spend without me before..... you know." you trail off awkwardly.
"i know," hyejun nods, looking up at you. "promise me you'll find me wherever we end up once we're gone?"
"i promise," you smile, and it's probably the most genuine thing you've felt your entire life.
the two of you huddle closer, spending your last hour in silence.
the door to your cell remains open, which is why you aren't startled when two women, dressed in all-white clothing, appear at the door, one holding a glass of water, and the other a pill.
hyejun isn't as calm as you, and tears quickly spring to her eyes when she sees the two officials at the door. "y/n, it can't be-"
"764, please return to your assigned cell," one woman speaks, her tone cold and sterile, devoid of any emotion.
"i- please, just some more time, please," hyejun begs, her hands clinging onto yours, as if bargaining for more time would do anything to delay the consequence you were going to face.
"please return to your assigned cell," the woman repeats. "i will not hesitate to call security."
"junnie, go," you whisper, slowly freeing your hands from her grip. "i'll be fine, you'll be fine."
hyejun shakes her head, sobbing incessantly. "i'll miss you."
"i'll miss you too," you admit truthfully. "i'll wait for you, okay?"
hyejun nods, and after another threatening glare from the officials, she shares one last knowing look with you, and for a moment, you feel thankful for being loved by someone in this life, no matter how short or miserable it was.
hyejun goes back into her own cell, and you let your last ever interaction with her sink in.
"756, please take this pill, and then follow us upstairs," the second woman instructs, and you get off the bed to approach the women.
"happy birthday to me," you scoff to yourself, taking the pill and swallowing it down with the water.
as if some countdown has started, the two officials spring into action. each grab one arm of yours and escort you out of your room. out of the corner of your eye, you can see hyejun by her door, collapsed to the floor on her knees, sobbing and grieving the only real connection she had with anyone in this ruthless world.
you wish you could say the same, but it would be a lie.
because when you finally climb the last step, and the door to your death is opened in front of you, you find yourself looking into the chocolate-brown eyes you had foolishly let yourself fall into.
jeon wonwoo.
[ flashback - 28th october, 2022 ]
"i wasn't aware that you were allowed to be outside your cell past 11 p.m.," a deep voice speaks from behind you, and you nearly jump five feet into the air.
you turn to see a tall, bespectacled man standing in the kitchen, a white lab coat hanging off his broad shoulders.
he's a doctor.
"i-i'm so sorry," you gasp, realizing that you're in deep shit now. realistically, you knew that the only way you were going to leave this facility was when you died, but you had no idea what the protocol was for people who snuck out of their cells at midnight, which was against all the rules. "i just really needed some water and i didn't have any left in the cell and-"
but the doctor just smiles at you, his intimidating demeanour replaced by possibly the only smile you'll ever see that is so beautiful.
"it's alright, don't be scared," he assures you, in that rich, warm voice of his. "i'm doctor jeon. you are?"
"y/n," you reply, confused about the whole situation. were doctors supposed to be on a first-name basis with the Misfits? "i'm sorry if this sounds stupid, but are you supposed to be talking to me?"
a flicker of sadness appears in his eyes, and disappears just as quickly. "it's alright for me to talk to you. you do realize i am required to interact with everyone in this facility if they visit the infirmary, right? i'm a doctor, it's kinda my job."
your face burns with embarrassment. "sorry, that was a stupid question."
"no worries, y/n," doctor jeon laughs, seemingly endeared by your mini-meltdown. you had no idea why you were behaving this way. never in your life had you been this embarrassed or flustered around anyone. you've been living in a prison all your life, where showers are taken in communal bathrooms and privacy was a rare luxury. why did this man have to change that?
"i'm going to head back to my cell now," you clear your throat, eyes focused on the water bottle you had just filled for yourself.
"alright," doctor jeon nods. "goodnight, y/n."
you give him a nod in return, stiffly walking past him to tiptoe back to your cell. you catch a glance at his name-tag.
dr. jeon wonwoo.
the name stays on your mind for way longer than it should've.
[ present - 24th november, 2024 ]
"have you taken the prescribed pill?" wonwoo asks, his tone formal and cold, as if he's never seen you, never known of your existence.
you know that's far from the truth.
"yes, doctor," you reply promptly, attentively watching as wonwoo goes through a few files on his desk. you see his features harden for a second at the name you addressed him with, a giveaway of how much he hated it when you called him that.
"it'll take a minute for the pill to take effect," wonwoo says. "please head over to the chair."
you wordlessly move over to the black leather armchair in the room, sitting on it as instructed. the situation is built on similar circumstances from the past, but it feels so devastatingly unfamiliar and strange.
you don't know if it's the air-conditioner or the cold look in wonwoo's once-loving eyes that makes you shiver.
[ flashback - 24th november, 2022 ]
"i'll walk you to the infirmary," hyejun offers. the morning of your twenty-second birthday, you had woken up with a high fever. your body was so weak, you couldn't even move to get off the bed.
thankfully, despite the prison-like feel, the facility wasn't too restrictive with regards to the cell doors being locked, or neighbouring cellmates interacting, which is why hyejun could come into your cell and take you to the infirmary.
you're barely conscious when you enter. you can hear hyejun's muffled voice talking to the doctor on duty, explaining to them your condition, all while you struggle to stay standing upright.
soon, a familiar pair of glasses swim into your vision, strong arms lift you and place you on one of the beds, and a gentle touch on your forehead lulls you to sleep.
the name-tag catches your attention before your eyes close.
"doctor jeon?" you croak out, voice groggy with sleep. the doctor looks up from his desk to see you sitting up in bed, finally awake after being asleep for almost the entire day.
"ah, y/n, you're up," wonwoo smiles at you. "how are you feeling now?"
"the fever seems to be gone," you reply after a moment, feeling much better than earlier in the morning.
"that's good to hear," wonwoo nods. "your friend mentioned that it was your birthday today. happy birthday, y/n."
you sigh. "doctor, i appreciate your gesture, but having a birthday is hardly an occasion that calls for happiness, is it? birthdays are never happy for someone like me."
a similar flicker of sadness flashes in wonwoo's eyes, reminding you of the first encounter in the kitchen a month ago.
"i'm sorry, i should've known-"
"it's alright," you interrupt his apology. "at least the infirmary is a change of scenery. never had a birthday party in here before, doctor." you joke, because somehow, seeing a frown on wonwoo's face felt like it should be a crime for him to be anything but happy.
"call me wonwoo, please," he chuckles. "being called doctor by someone who's the same age feels a little embarrassing."
"we're the same age?" you question, sitting up a little straighter. "next thing you're going to tell me is that we have the same favorite color."
"i like blue," wonwoo says.
"me too!" you gasp, the both of you bursting into laughter instantly.
the infirmary was empty for the rest of the day, and the two of you filled it with laughter and stories. wonwoo gladly took the lead, telling you all about his life up until he was hired to work at the facility six months ago, and you listened eagerly. it felt like you lived life through his stories, and it stirred this dangerous feeling inside you.
you had found something that gave you hope, in a universe where hope never worked in your favor.
[ present - 24th november, 2024 ]
"details of subject 756. full name, lee y/n. sex, female. date of birth, 24th november 1999-"
wonwoo's voice reading out all your details, the only pieces of information that gave you any form of self-identity, was getting hard to listen to with no response.
"stop."
"756, not interrupting the procedure would be advised," wonwoo addresses you, not even looking your way, his eyes trained on the file in front of him.
"why are you treating me like you don't know who i am?" you ask him in a quiet voice. "as if we didn't spend almost two years together, in love-"
"756, no interruptions, please." wonwoo grits out, sounding just as hurt as you felt.
"you hated it when i called you doctor, and now you won't even call me by my name?" you scoff, and that seems to rouse a reaction out of wonwoo.
"you are nothing but a number on this long list of people that i have to kill," wonwoo seethes, leaving his desk to come stand in front of you. "this is our reality now, 756. whatever happened in those two years, it was a dream, a fantasy."
"our love wasn't real? the hope you gave me wasn't real?" you challenge, standing up from the armchair. "you promised me, every day, that you'd change this, that i wouldn't have to-"
"then you were stupid for believing me!" wonwoo yells, cutting you off. "you should've known that i was an idiot in love, that i would've promised you anything if it meant i could see you smile. if it meant i could see you live the last few years of your life happily."
[ flashback - 1st january, 2023 ]
soon after your twenty-second birthday, you had grown much closer to wonwoo. you'd visit the infirmary for no reason, just to spend hours with him, learning about how the outside world worked. there were afternoons where he'd show you pictures of mountains, oceans, parks, children, and animals that he'd taken. there were evenings where he'd sneak you into his quarters, where he'd read you a book, or turn on a random movie he thought you'd appreciate.
it started feeling less like a friendship, and more like love. the way his eyes would light up when you entered the infirmary to greet him good morning, the way his ears would turn red if any other staff at the facility would get close to figuring out his relationship with you, the way he'd hold your hand or run his fingers through your hair, and the way he'd smile at you, kissing your cheek as a goodnight before going back to his own quarters.
you knew you were foolish for falling in love with wonwoo, especially when you had such limited time to love him properly. so you began to distance yourself from him. you stopped visiting him, avoided his attempts to talk, and tried your best to forget him.
it didn't work.
it only ended up in you being dragged to the infirmary by hyejun, when you woke up on january 1st complaining of a terrible stomach ache.
it was wonwoo who took care of you then.
"you've been avoiding me," wonwoo says quietly, watching you take the medicine he gave you. "did i do something wrong?"
you stay silent, wondering if you should tell him the truth or keep it hidden.
"i've fallen in love with you."
the truth it is then.
wonwoo gapes at you, blinking repeatedly as he tries to process your words. after a minute, he regains his composure and says, "i love you too. now why were you ignoring me?"
he asked you to be his girlfriend three days later, and for the first time since you've entered the facility, your heart starts to long for more time.
[ present - 24th november, 2024]
"yeah, i was stupid," you laugh sadly. "i was stupid to believe that you'd actually do something to fight for us."
"and risk both our lives in the process?" wonwoo argues. "if anyone would've found out, we'd both be killed, and not the painless way."
"well, one of us is going to die anyways!" you raise your voice, the tears you've desperately held back finally spilling over. "why did you have to love me? why did you have to make me want to live? do you know how hard it is for your face to be the last thing i see before i die?"
"and you think that this is making me happy?" wonwoo says, anger, love, helplessness, all emotions bleeding into his voice. "i loved you too. heck, i still do, and even after you're gone, i'll-"
"just do it. do whatever you need to do to kill me," you stop him from finishing his sentence. five-year old you had promised to give into your fate no matter what happens. and even though seeing the only man you've loved about to end your life is breaking your heart into a million pieces, you wouldn't be alive for too long to feel that pain.
"no-" wonwoo shakes his head. "i was stupid. i should've done something sooner. i was scared and i'm sorry. i'll get you out."
[ flashback - 19th september, 2023 ]
"i'll get you out," wonwoo whispers into your ear. you've just pulled him into a hug before you go back into your cell for the night when the words are muttered into the skin of your neck. "i won't let you die, y/n. not like this."
"won, what are you saying?" you ask, pulling away to face him. "are you nuts?"
"i love you and i can't bear the thought of having to lose you," wonwoo breathes out, his voice sounding strained. "i can't lose you."
"wonwoo, this is the system," you scoff. "i can't not die, it's not possible."
"just trust me," wonwoo shakes his head. "i'll get you out."
you let yourself believe him.
[ present - 24th november, 2024 ]
"i'm not letting myself fall for empty promises anymore," your words ring out loud and clear. "just get this over with, doctor."
"y/n-"
"756. that's how you're instructed to address me, doctor," you correct him.
"i can't. i won't do this to you," wonwoo refuses, moving closer to stand in front of you and place his hands on your shoulders. "we can get out, y/n. please, let me try."
[ flashback - 19th september, 2024]
"there's no way out," wonwoo mutters, and you feel the hope building in your chest crumble to dust.
"what- what do you mean?" you stammer. "wonwoo, you said you'd find a way-"
"i couldn't," he sighs. "not with management breathing down my neck. they already suspect i'm in close contact with one of the Misfits, and i don't want to give them a reason to make your last few months any worse."
"did you even try?" your voice breaks, your hopes and dreams slowly getting crushed.
"i didn't," wonwoo replies hesitantly. "i'm being monitored, especially after the promotion-"
"promotion?"
"i've been assigned to the room upstairs."
the room upstairs. where every Misfit goes to die.
"you- you never told me about this," your voice is strangled, the weight of wonwoo's words pressing down on your chest like an invisible weight.
"that's because you had no business knowing about it," wonwoo snaps. "look, y/n, from now on, you and i are nothing but strangers. whatever we had between us, it has to end now."
[ present - 24th november, 2024 ]
"you ended things. we're strangers now," you remind wonwoo, and the tears finally escape his eyes. "you shouldn't care this much for strangers, doctor."
"y/n, i'm sorry," wonwoo chokes out, tears streaming down his face, and you belatedly realize that you’re crying too. with the back of your hand, you wipe away the unnecessary and immature tears. this was your fate.
“you didn’t try when you said you would, wonwoo,” you lower your gaze, staring at the floor. "there's no happy ending for us now. there never was."
"i know. i was an asshole for promising you something i couldn't give to you, but i know i'm going to spend the rest of my life regretting not helping you now," wonwoo argues. he holds your hands in his.
"please, y/n, give me another chance."
"you know what's funny, wonwoo?" you laugh bitterly, looking up at the man you will love till the moment you die. "at least you have a lifetime you can spend regretting. at least you have a lifetime to start afresh, find someone else, fall in love. i only had you. you were my world, and it hurt so much when you lied to me and showed me dreams i never should've seen."
"i only said all those things because i loved you then, and i love you now as well," wonwoo's voice is shaky now. he knows your time together is nearing to a close, and with every passing second, he dreads the passing of the remainder of his life without you. "i was foolish to promise you freedom, but it was only because i hated that look of hopelessness in your eyes. and you have all the right to blame me, but let me just try-"
"if you're so sure you can get me out now, why didn't you do it earlier?" you cut him off. "why now? right before i have to die?"
you see the look of guilt flash in wonwoo's eyes. your eyes fall to the white lab coat he's wearing, the symbol of the facility embroidered into the fabric, right above where his name-tag sits.
you raise your hand to brush your fingers against the only name you had desperately hoped to call out for the rest of your life.
you realize that while it was your fate was to die, wonwoo's fate was to live. the purpose of your life was to live twenty-four years on this miserable earth and then vanish, while wonwoo's role was to take your life.
no matter how realistic those two years felt, it was impossible for the two of you to be together. you were carrying out your meaningless life, and wonwoo was fulfilling his duty. a duty that never involved loving you or rescuing you.
the bitterness brewing in you for the last couple of months comes to a rest, because you understand.
"i don't blame you," you utter quietly, hands coming up to rest against wonwoo's chest. if you tried really hard, you could delude yourself into thinking that this was just another morning you would spend with wonwoo, in his embrace, living life as if you had the gift of endless time.
"you were scared too, weren't you?"
wonwoo's face crumbles. he leans forward into you, resting his head on your shoulder as his body shakes with the intensity of his cries.
you hold him tight, and you feel sorry for giving him this warmth and comfort right before you left his life forever.
"you should have never loved me," wonwoo sobs. "i thought i was making your last years something you wouldn't hate, but i just-"
"you made my last years the happiest i've ever been," you stop him. "i don't regret loving you wonwoo, not even for a second. and i'm sorry i was angry at you for not helping me get out. i was too blinded by betrayal to realize that it could cost your life too."
"it wouldn't have mattered if you got to live," wonwoo shakes his head.
"it would've, because i wouldn't have you to live my life with," you say softly. wonwoo pulls away from you. his eyes are red and puffy, and your heart aches with the urge to kiss him, one last time.
"i'm sorry," you whisper. "i'm sorry that we ended up this way. god, if i had it any other way, i would've done anything to grow old with you."
"i'm sorry too," wonwoo sniffles. "for not fighting enough for us."
"it can't be helped now," you smile sadly at him. "maybe in another universe, we get to travel the world with each other and do everything we couldn't do in this one."
"it's time to let go, wonwoo," you say, pressing one final kiss against his lips.
wonwoo inhales deeply after you back away from him. he walks back to the desk, takes out a syringe filled with a clear liquid with shaking hands and comes back to face you.
"i'll find you in every other universe, and i'll love you till the end of time," wonwoo looks into your eyes, and this one feels like a real promise.
"i know you will," you hold the wrist of the hand holding the syringe to steady it.
wonwoo presses the needle into the skin of your neck, the place where he had whispered a promise of a better life before, and you squeeze your eyes shut.
"it won't hurt at all," wonwoo whispers as an assurance, and his free hand holds yours tightly.
the needle breaks through skin, the liquid is injected, and your last three minutes begin.
you open your eyes, and nothing feels like it's changed, but then wonwoo approaches you with a black eye-mask.
"i don't want you to see what happens," he explains, and you nod to give him permission. he slips the fabric onto your head, and your vision is blocked.
the last thing you see is his name-tag.
you hear the turn of a door knob, the sound of a door creaking open, and wonwoo's last words to you.
"i love you."
you feel gentle hands guide you into the room just opened, a pair of lips pressing a kiss to your temple, the warmth of wonwoo leaving you.
you're alone.
you smell the sterile antiseptic used to clean the room, a vague burning scent, your impending death.
your time is nearly up.
you taste the salt of the last tears you'll ever shed, the sour flavor of tragic love, blood.
it's almost over.
and then, nothing. it's like your senses have stopped working all of a sudden, and you're in a vacuum.
your hands tug off the eye-mask, but you can't see anything either. you realize it's the effect of the injection.
and it's good that you can't see, hear, feel, smell, or taste anymore.
otherwise you'd see the transparent glass wall separating you from a sobbing wonwoo, hand trembling above the red button that brought about your end.
you'd hear the lasers in the room charging up.
you'd feel a scorching heat all over your skin.
you'd smell your flesh burning till you're reduced to ashes, meant to be swept off.
you'd taste the kiss of death.
the timer rings; three minutes are up.
dr. jeon wonwoo ticks 756 off his checklist.
- fin.
Tumblr media
taglist: @min-imum @sousydive @k1eev @livelaughloveseventeen
fill this form to be added to the taglist <3
head to the masterlist for more!
28 notes · View notes
diangelodork · 3 days ago
Text
blog intro bc i’ve not really done one yet!!
hi! i’m erebus!
i’m eighteen, bi, and trans (i use he/him pronouns) - i’m a first year college student going into high school english education :)
i’m also autistic and i have adhd
i’m american and hispanic
i’m a retired high school theatre kid (but i’ll always love musicals <3)
i do lots of stuff on here tbh- i’m pretty active!! my main fandoms are
Dead Boy Detectives
Red, White & Royal Blue
Percy Jackson
(but i nearly exclusively post DBDA LMAO)
my top ships are payneland, firstprince, and solangelo (i have a template, it seems 😭)
i write analyses about dead boy detectives as often as i can (i TRY to make it every night)
i use the tags #erebus psychoanalyzes things nightly! and #i love psychoanalyzing everything <3 for these posts!
i also make fanmerch for dbda! you can find the link here in this post, or in the linktree in my bio! (my ig is in there too! :P) i love getting design recommendations so feel free to ask!! <3
my dms and my asks are open and i love to chat so please don’t hesitate to reach out!!
i’m also a budding fic writer (but i have yet to post anything bc i have a billion wips and not enough motivation to complete any of them)
i love to analyze media, but i’m VERY new to it (i always love talking about vampires tho PLEASE ask me about vampires and the inherent queer coding of monsters 🙏🙏)
if you could have voted in the 2024 US elections and chose not to, did not vote blue, or could not vote but supported voting anything other than blue, i kindly ask you to stop interacting with me and my page.
29 notes · View notes
technically-human · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
998 notes · View notes
whilomm · 5 months ago
Text
oh okay heres one:
"sleepaway camp"= you go there for at least a few days, a week, sometimes several weeks, and sleep there, as opposed to a """camp""" where you go for the day and your parents or whoever picks you up afterward (those arent really camps, but like. idk when i went to "space camp" it was a weeklong but not sleepaway). in the U.S. at least, the typical image of a sleepaway camp involves staying in cabins, dunno how common it is/what it looks like in other countries.
for the first few i just mean like. not necessarily a stealth church camp, just like. idk, a camp where theres also an Assumption Of Christianity and just general vibes without being actually church camp. So, there might not be daily services and jesusy dedicatwd activities, but maybe theres still a prayer said over meals and shit. Which i assume might exist...
(oh and @reblogforsamplesize if u wanna)
#buzzy#poll#polls#personally: yes i went several times#and i enjoyed it bc. camp!!! yay!!!#but the Church part of it. complicated feelings on that matter#mine were all weeklong camps#went every year for a few years i hink#it was fun bc again YAY CAMP!!! and the ones i went to were like huge things#they had cool water stuff like The Blob and waterslides and some fun games and shit#you could do paintball#and i wasnt like. NOT christian at the time. but i also Wasnt Really Feeling It#i was mostly into it bc. camp.#...maybe i should have asked my parents if i could just go to one of the normal summer camps instead lmao#like the 6 week ones or st#that coulda been fun ....#so my answer is Its Complicated#i did like. participate in the jesus side of things. but i was also kinda knowingly faking it u kno?#i remember one time during a service i started having a bit of a panic attack (mostly bc of the MASSVE crowd. this was a huge ass camp)#but i still had to like. stay. still do everything. my pastor was being nice about it but still was like :( well you cant leave#i remember that was the day we did some shit outside w torches#like. carrying torches in a big procession like some sorta ritual thing ig. fuck if i know.#and i was like crying while following the procession and trying to stop#(the crying STARTED un the megachurch extremely loud giaant speaker GET PUMPED UP!!! area and continued to the torches)#thars my stringest memory from church camp aside from when i fcking DEMOLISHED the frozen t shirt game#(they gave a few ppl on stage frozen t balled up shirts and it was like 'okay first one to unball it and put it on wins!!!')#(and while the two boys i was up against started trying to tear it open with their hands i just#(in my cute lil butterfly shirt and pretty skirt started SMASHING IT AGAINST THE GROUND FULL BODY AAAUUGGHH and broke that shit)#(i was sooo proud of mysekf and my oastors wife thiught it was Unladylike of me but i fucjing won. the boys copied me after a sec)#(but it was too late i won :) anyway yeah like i said mixed feelings u kno. anyway go blue beetles woooo!!!!!
347 notes · View notes
claymton · 4 months ago
Note
I've read some of your posts (I love your art by the way) and as a Clay simp I have to say I HATE ARTHUR PUPPINGTON MY GOD, AS MUCH AS CLAY HAD BEEN A SPOILED BRAT YOU CAN'T JUST IGNORE A FCKING CHILD AAAAAcbsknx The old man needed to mature instead of seeing a 12-year-old as competition
I get Arthur puppington but this old man should be upset at his wife not at the 12 year old who's been sheltered, spoiled and tricked into believing everyone should kneel down for him his whole life, that kid literally does not know any better
54 notes · View notes
dawnthefluffyduck · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
8 notes · View notes
blujayonthewing · 25 days ago
Text
felix: [takes limerick aside early in the campaign and confides, with difficulty because he's ashamed about it, that he sometimes has trouble speaking at all, because he wants at least someone to have fair warning ahead of it possibly coming up if he's gonna be traveling in a group for any amount of time]
limerick the first time felix mostly loses speech: you've been really quiet, everything okay? do you have any thoughts to add [to this discussion]? :)
limerick last session when simon lowkey assigned felix to go do a social encounter: I'll go with you, to help with the talking :)
limerick as soon as we're in the social encounter: [looks directly at felix, expectantly]
#felix: [dissociating] no yeah that's fine#the thing about the latter bit is that felix could have handled it better if he hadn't been DROPPED on a TRUSTFALL fgkjhdfg#he's not... shy per se or inherently uncomfortable about talking to people he just worries he's going to screw it up#so that was more 'oh perfect I can figure out where that npc is and limerick will talk to her. teamwork!' and relaxing into an expectation#and then getting rugpulled lol#[sigh] anyway none of this effects felix's FEELINGS about limerick really but like. it IS going to effect their relationship#ah boy he is not gonna remember if I tell him important and sensitive things about myself#and he's gonna try to be proactively kind and supportive in ways that are actively worse than if he hadn't#I guess I'd better just not confide in him or let my guard down enough to lean on him for support then :\#WHICH LIKE-- it is what it is but ah beans :')#reminding myself that pulling away from relationships rather than advocate for himself is A Character Flaw I gave the lad on purpose.....#can't set up uncomfortable situations if I'm not prepared to then play in the uncomfortable space.....#you have one(1) friend and he's so so so bad at listening to you or understanding you and you just gotta deal with that#he's gonna actively stress you out A Lot but you'd better not say anything to him about it or you'll end up with No Friends (again)#AH ALSO to be clear: this seems like a lot of projecting based on a couple minor things early in the campaign BUT#I should clarify that a lot of the 'oh god yep here we go' is coming from ME who's played dnd with this friend for many years lmao#no yeah this was Going To Happen and I'm not surprised but AH MAN. AH BEANS......
4 notes · View notes
camelspit · 8 months ago
Note
Oooh why are you a Lava Cake hater? I’m so curious
😔😔😔 ive been discovered /j
I'm not even really a hater I'm just strongly. disinterested in it. It doesn't do anything for me, and I'm struggling to see how it got so popular (no hate to the shippers though lmao have fun!!!)
maybe this is gods revenge for the garvar era. punishing me for my crackship with another one. 😔
16 notes · View notes
fionnaskyborn · 1 year ago
Text
THE IPOD IS WORKING
I REPEAT
THE IPOD
IS WORKING
#OKAY CONTEXT A FEW MONTHS AGO I BOUGHT AN IPOD CLASSIC‚ THE A1238 MODEL FROM 2007 TO BE EXACT#ON THE FLEA MARKET FOR THREE EUROS#THIS BAD BABY IS CAPABLE OF STORING EIGHTY GIGS OF MUSIC ON IT#TROUBLE IS‚ I WAS IN TOO MUCH SHIT TO GO LOOKING FOR A CABLE I COULD ATTEMPT TO CHARGE IT WITH#(the people at the flea market in my hometown are usually very honest about whether or not a piece of tech is working but i'll always have#my doubts until i see for myself)#TODAY I FINALLY MANAGED TO BRING MYSELF TO GO TO MY FAVORITE TECH STORE AND AFTER SOME DIGGING THEY ACTUALLY FOUND A 30-PIN CABLE#(it took them a while because the younger of the two dudes who were in the shift didn't exactly know what he was looking for. he brought a#package to the older guy and he said ''that's a samsung cable.'' in his defense‚ that cable and the actual 30-pin are incredibly similar in#shape so i don't blame him lmao‚ it was an honest mistake)#and i plugged that bad boy in tonight and NOT ONLY IS IT GIVING SIGNS OF LIFE (CHARGING)‚ IT SENT ME RIGHT TO THE MENU SCREEN AS SOON AS IT#GOT TO A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#NOW I FINALLY HAVE THE MOTIVATION TO GO THROUGH MY ENTIRE YOUTUBE DOC AND EXTRACT EVERY SINGLE SONG I'VE LISTENED TO IN THE PAST THREE YEAR#(that's as far as they date the watch history logs‚ sadly - they start deleting them after some point so everything before late 2020 is los#to time‚ but fortunately enough there is PLENTY left!)#CAN I GET A HELLLLLL YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#logs#I AM IMMEASURABLY HAPPY ABOUT THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
10 notes · View notes
famewolf · 5 months ago
Text
2019 was one of the hardest years of my life but woah I'm just remembering that I had a therapist who was insistent that I didn't transition and that I follow a one year program of proving to her that I was trans.
that wasn't even why I was going to see her in the first place, but the moment she found out she wanted me to stop hrt immediately so she could 'properly' diagnose me with gender dysphoria. she went on this long rant about how back in her day people had to spend years talking to doctors before they were allowed to transition and she has trans clients from the 80s and 90s who were made to prove to her that they were trans for a whole year before she would prescribe them anything.
5 notes · View notes
unproduciblesmackdown · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
bonus thing i cherish in this shot is that it's the one time it's immediately noticeable that her hair length is uneven....let's go Cutting One's Own Hair (With Or Without A Mirror) look havers irl (b/c of cutting one's own hair with or without a mirror, maybe) & even when it's recreated on purpose like so
#haven't yet rewatched fury road as i've been anticipating doing for weeks now. we're on the verge of it though i can sense it#thank god ms charlize (juking diacritics) decided on Furiosa Will Have Short Hair#the No Diegetic Makeup. the constant (smudged with dirt or grease or blood perhaps) looks#only additional thing that we're demanding from anything. armpit hair please. for furiosa at least#meanwhile siiigh i guess like three days (? i will go through the number of Nights in my head. one. two.) closer to two days#isn't long enough to grow that much leg hair siiigh fine. more difficult to match up leg hair shots chronology too but if only....#reminds me how a while ago i was like half watching smthing & after a fair number of scenes was like oh hang on that's charlize furiosa....#b/c i basically know her From This. i'd seen smthing else she was in years before w/o remembering much details of Anything#(also had technically seen tom hardy in smthing more recently at the time Also w/o recognizing as much. also thanks at least in part to#not especially enjoying the movie) & i'm not great with faces; that most roles are gonna have Longer Hair / Makeup happening#and a lack of constant dirt grease blood etc even like okay this would be quite difficult#so i Didn't recognize the actor for a hot minute until the reason i Did was just this instance of [subtle quiet shift Acting Moment]#where she got this particular Silent Restrained Intensity going and i was like oh hang on. Could Be Her lmao. it was#anyways even capturing this screencap it was like Aughhh that she Walks. Stops. Walks. the Soundtrack doing what it's doing here....#and if there's Anything in this film to illustrate [max: main character] [furiosa: protagonist] boy is it this scene. wah#the end of this shot as capable like starts looking away like ah yeah emotion moment. well i'll give you this privacy#just like the fast & furious crossroads chat about cam fr lol like i'll respectfully turn so i'm not looking right at you for this Real Shi#responding to your reeling deepest devastation by moving forward still as far as you can? a quarter mile at a time of you#fury road
6 notes · View notes
orcelito · 1 year ago
Text
I've gone through a character arc today. I'm... better(?) now
#speculation nation#animal death ment/#turns out shoving all my grief down and refusing to process it in fear of experiencing negative emotions is detrimental to me#i just went through all my pictures of cassy. experienced again what a loverboy he was...#cried again. twice. miserable experience honestly. i dont know how people do this more than a few times a year.#i have a few videos of him. including him watching a bird video on my computer.#unfortunately i never did capture his meow. which breaks my heart but there's nothing i can do about it now.#i'll just have to hold that sound in my memory. his obnoxious 'mraaaa' that could get comically long when he was begging for food#it hurts. but i'm allowed to remember that i loved him. i'm allowed to remember what he was to me.#an obnoxiously bullheaded cat that was strangely skittish at the same time.#it was annoying at the time but i treasure the memory of when he got out of my apartment unit#and i went chasing him up and down the stairs of the central area several times yelling 'cassy get BACK here!'#as he loudly did his 'MRAAAA' the whole time as he ran from me#my baby boy. tally loved him too. it hurts my heart that i cant communicate to her what happened.#no wonder she hates june bug so much. her friend disappeared & then a few weeks later theres This weird new cat#hopefully in time she can be friends with june bug too. there was a solid month or two where she haaaated cassy lmao#before a switch was flipped and she was grooming him every time he sat in front of her.#cassy may have lived for too short of a time. but he was very very loved. and i can see that in the records of him.#he was purring for me in the end. my sweet loverboy...#... i was going to try writing before work today but it seems like it's a grief processing day.#oh well. it's probably better for me overall.#negative/#sure. i guess.
3 notes · View notes
hunkydorkling · 2 years ago
Text
Notable win that I *personally* think should be on my personal blog to be read by the rest of the internet: I've fallen in love with studying tons of me-aligned material again, more than last year since I've re-discovered it. Albeit slow, I'm determined to restart many times as I need to.
4 notes · View notes
sylhea-raemi · 2 years ago
Text
and what if nero thinks of himself as a tool for the three magicians he knew for a decade. what if he only limits as himself as a pawn, what if that's why he so easily threw himself as a sacrifice to protect his friends.
#im giving myself pain because i just know maydare would diverse from this#nero knew his worth but as a prince rather than as himself. he have SO MUCH trust on his familiar that it will bring rescue to his team#kanon told nero why he saved him and told him about the future war just when he was 6 years old. he kept that in mind and what his life is#for. kanon literally told nero that he's gonna be a necessary pawn in the future lmao?? kanon who had gone through so much could not care#less for some ordinary people ig since he was so detached from emotions... he's straightforward to nero and nero took it pretty well?????#ANYWAY rereading nero.... nero didn't seem to mind dying??????? like what the hell boy????????? he's not freaking out about himself#dying at all. rather he's concerned for the things happening around him and the people worrying about him????#'beatrice saw me and let out a small cry. did i look that bad?' YOU'RE IN A STATE OF DYING. NERO YOU WERE STABBED.#IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF YOUR BODY. A CURSE IS SPREADING IN YOUR BODY. NERO???#'What was i doing/ thinking about things so detachedly when it hurt so much that it felt like i was going to die' YOU😭#he knows he can't die here. he know he have so many things left to do.#this entire time he's fighting through the curse he did not say anything. the only words he uttered was makia's name. his concern for her.#he felt like he can't die without confirming if she's okay. once he knew that she's already he felt relieved that his vision is turning#white. nero what the fuck omg. i know he's been fighting off the curse the best he can and he's getting tired but nero oh my god#be concerned for yourself boy#for ten years he don't value himself as himself but rather someone who is a pawn for this world and the three magicians.#he's well aware of the purpose of his life. he's already set to serve those three magicians specially kanon for saving him and teaching him#various of things. also what was shatoma saying what did she mean#'What? I merely did what i could do for you wou didn't need any help.' what do you mean#first off i wanna point out the way she replied to nero's apology and thanks 'i merely did what i could do for you' i don't know how to#describe it but it feels like she was familiar with him in a fond way?? that added with 'who didn't need any help' she knows what he's#capable of and i think shatoma knows he can overcome it by himself? but my boy is like. gonna pass out. i think she's genuinely worried lol#each magician had something to do this volume- eska had to go find makia and thor and bring them to ulysses#ulysses makia and thor had to release pan faunus while eska puts up the defense. shatoma could've gone with eska or with kanon but no#she went to where the rest were- it's probably to check on the people in the labyrinth.. i want to know if she knew about nero's injuries..#oh that reminds me- shatoma is in lune ruschia's uniform so she's probably in the labyrinth before nero frey and lapis came back#she and eska probably arrived *after* nero makia and frey went out to find lapis#eska goes to find makia and thor while shatoma went in the labyrinth before gt9 came back#🦋'...Kanon? He's going where he needs to go.' in which nero thought 'So Brother's on the move.'........... he knows he knows..#shatoma trust nero enough to know how capable he is.. maybe she even trust him enough to let him know about their plans since he's
2 notes · View notes
rosicheeks · 2 years ago
Text
🤔
2 notes · View notes
Text
My Top 10 K-Pop Songs of 2022
If you're curious about my top 10 non-k-pop songs of 2022 check them out here!!!
RUN2U By Stayc
Forever 1 By Girl's Generation
After Like By Ive
Heart Burn By Sunmi
Chiquita By Rocket Punch
Antifragile By Le Sserafim
Attention By NewJeans
Copycat By Apink Chobom
Eye To Eye By Limelight
Higher By Fifty Fifty
English Release Honorable Mention: Pom Pom By Rocking Doll
I'm tagging: @shyirefly @backtodaydreams @beomieotter @thatadorkablegirl @hinataek @prettywordsyouleft @aigoo-exo @arzehh @orbityyxy also anyone else who sees this im also tagging you! and of course none of you have to do this but it would be nice if you did!!!
#the honorable mention i didnt know if i should just put it on the other list#since it is in english but its by a kpop group#but thinking about it being fully honest i dont think it could compete with the songs on that list imo#but i still really liked the song and wanted to mention it#i hesitate to put really new songs on this list like i thought about adding Limbo by Nature but didnt for that reason#but Higher by Fifty Fifty also came out around the same time#but i have high expectations for this group and i feel like its a song ill like for a long time#oh i didnt explain but thats why i hesitate to put new songs on here#like some songs have all year to go from faves to songs i dont listen too#so i like to remember ones that i loved through a good part of the year#but with songs that are new i have less time with it to see where it ends up#but again i have high hopes that i will like this song for a long time#and plus to be a new song im so obsessed with i feel compelled to put it on here is pretty good on its own#but it is still in the last spot#Eye to Eye is also pretty new but same as Higher im just really into the songs and think ill like it long term#the top song was so easy to pick tho#its been one of my favorites all year and it came out way at the start so pretty impressive but i wouldnt expect less from stayc#i just realized their isnt a single boy group lmao trust me its not on poupous#but i think got7 was the only boy group (and male soloist) i even considered for this list they just didnt make the cut#tho if im honest im struggling to think of any other boy groups ive really listened to this year (like new songs)#also not to be a fake fan but im sorry their is no loona song ill blame it on the current loona boycott#but in reality i think i just liked all these songs more then anything loona released this year#like for sure if i got to 20 songs of the year theyd make it but not with just ten#my post
3 notes · View notes