#// BOY i could go on for years about this lmao
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crib sheet for those not in the know:
the subtext of these twitter comments is that any mention of Israel, of places in Israel, or of going to Israel, is "Zionist propaganda"
Therefore, calling a Jewish-Indian household "Jaipur-Aviv" is Bad because it mentions Tel Aviv, a city built entirely from unoccupied desert land purchased by Jews.
this comes from the idea that acting as if Israel exists is immoral (i.e. that tolerating Israel's existence is violent colonialism)
There's no other country on earth that anyone considers it immoral or violent to mention
There isn't a movement against acknowledging or having visited the United States, Canada, England, Russia, Iran, Afghanistan, etc.
Zio is a KKK dogwhistle popularized by David Duke forty years ago. Using it makes it more difficult for others to recognize and avoid white supremacists -- and often means that you're not recognizing and avoiding white supremacists.
I've watched every episode of Friends ten times at a minimum. I am not exaggerating. I feel pretty safe in stating point-blank that nobody at any point even utters the word "Israel" on that show.
Also, Rachel is not Jewish. I am kinda dying to know what the fuck that person thought the "Zionist connotations" in their relationship were.
WAIT A MINUTE STOP THE PRESSES. RACHEL IS JEWISH!??!!!
lmao this is killing me, I used to be so sure she was Jewish and then I googled it and people said she wasn't!
The nose job subplot read as an intentionally Jewish regional reference; Rachel refers to her grandma as her bubbe; the show's creators have said she's Jewish; she had been going to marry Barry Farber, who is "definitely Jewish;" her last name is Green, "a common 'Americanized' Jewish name;" she apparently wears a star of David I've never spotted in episode 3; and also, her name is Rachel.
Okay well, thanks to the borderline Nazis up there for teaching me that Rachel actually IS Jewish! I knew I needed to rewatch the series!
Bonus: they don't say Israel, but they DO say Israeli once.
The Big Bang Theory apparently had an episode called The Jerusalem Duality, in which "Sheldon applies himself to winning the Nobel Peace Prize for solving the Middle East crisis by creating a second wailing wall (also called the 'Western Wall') in the Mexican desert. Dr. Gablehauser and Dennis Kim stop by. Sheldon explains his concept to them; convinced that, like the baseball movie 'build it and they will come', adding that he plans to lure the Jewish people by 'making it nice...we'll put out a spread'."
The only real references Big Bang Theory makes to Israel are, again, in the "acknowledging it exists and being willing to go there" genre:
The Nanny had a lot of topical political jokes. In one episode, Fran Drescher says, "Yasser Arafat? ...He could use a facial, or better yet a chemical peel. We're already giving him the Gaza Strip, would it kill him to take a shave?"
Weirdly, this was 8 years before Israel did unilaterally pull out of the Gaza Strip and destroy all its settlements there.
Regardless, this is more a joke about her character being overly focused on appearances and fashion. Especially given that she simultaneously gets corrected on the fact that Arafat wore a burnous, not a turban.
There's also a 1995 episode in which Maxwell wants to get his teenage daughter "away from boys" by sending her to a convent over the winter holidays. Fran strongly disagrees about the convent, but does think a trip would be good for Maggie, like her own teenage trip to a kibbutz had been. The whole family ends up going to a kibbutz, which I can only imagine the people in that thread would consider to be pure "hasbara."
Seinfeld, though, is by far the best reference they make here. Because this is a quote from the 1992 episode "The Limo":
This is the only "Zionist" reference I can find in Seinfeld. So it's the most likely thing these folks are objecting to as "Zionism" in Seinfeld episodes.
ZOG, or Zionist Occupied Government, is another huge white supremacist term that has made its way into the extreme part of the pro-palestine movement. The founder of Students for Justice in Palestine has also publicly stated that "Congress is an Israeli occupied territory."
Wow. I learned a lot more than I expected to there.
according to the replies on this tweet literally every tv show has Zionist Propaganda™️ so i guess the hamasniks are just going to have to twiddle their thumbs for entertainment
edit: some of the nonsense from the replies
do not call yourself progressive or inclusive or revolutionary or anticolonial or whatever other fucking “I’m A Good Person” label de jour you’ve chosen if you say shit like this. you cannot talk like a Nazi and then insist you’re just an antizionist.
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Reckless Indulgence - Jeff the Killer & Ticci Toby x Female reader NSFW
Warnings: Dubcon
Tags: Threesome, double vaginal penetration, fingering, oral sex, creampie, German dirty talk
Words: 5.1k
I posted this on AO3 a while back but I’m cross posting it here now :3
As always, all canon will be flexible to make way for sexy
if you speak German I’m sorry LMAO (and if you don’t just hold down to highlight the text and hit translate)
Trees blurred past as you drove down an old back road, music blaring through your speakers. You had curated the perfect playlist for the long drive ahead of you. There was nothing on these roads for miles and miles.
The sun was setting along the rows of trees, dipping down to disappear below them. Despite the night winding down your energy was all the way up.
You were on your way back home from a visit with one of your closest friends. It had been months since you had gotten to see her, so even with the distance the trip was definitely worth it. Ever since she moved away for college a couple of years ago, you only got to see her whenever there were breaks in both of your college’s schedules.
Now that it was summer you finally had the opportunity to go down and see her. You had an amazing time all weekend, it was hard to leave.
That’s why you ended up leaving a little later than you had intended. It made you a little nervous to be driving so far at night by yourself, but you tried to remind yourself you had nothing to worry about. You made sure to fill up your gas tank before you left, you didn’t need to pee, and you’d chosen only bangers for the music to accompany your trip.
You took a sip of your monster and got back to belting the lyrics to Yeah Boy and Doll Face.
“DO YOU WANT MEEEEEE? DO YOU WANT TO LET ME KNOW THAT YOU’RE OKAYYYYYYY?”
There was a slight rumbling sound coming from your car but you decided to ignore it.
“A DIAMOND GOLD RINGGGGG, CUSTOMIZED TO CUT YOUR CIRCULATION.”
The rumbling started to get louder.
That can’t be good.
“I COULDN’T LET YOU GO. I NEVER LET YOU GO MY DEAR!” You continued screaming.
The rumbling started to overtake even your loud vocals.
Maybe I should pull over?
Before you had the chance to weigh the pros and cons of pulling over on the side of the highway as a woman alone at night, your car had started decelerating.
“Fuck!” You managed to pull over in time for your car to completely stop running.
For a brief moment you just sat there, thinking about how absolutely fucked you were.
I don’t fucking know shit about cars. What the fuck am I gonna do?
You decided it would be best to at least try to take a look at it. You reached down and pulled the lever to pop the hood. After doing a little unceremonious walk to the front of the car you pulled the hood open and propped it up with the hook.
Your phone flashlight didn’t offer the best lighting, but after propping it up at a good angle you felt like you could actually take a look. You put your hands on your hips as your eyes scanned over the engine.
“Yep.” You said to yourself, taking a pause. “I don’t know shit about cars.”
You grabbed your phone and closed the hood. Who were you kidding?
You got back in the car and dialed your dad’s number.
The phone didn’t even ring. There was just the immediate ended-call beep. You pulled the phone away from your ear to glare at it for not working properly. The screen read “call failed.”
Great. You didn’t have reception now either.
What the hell? It was working a few minutes ago.
A deep sigh escaped your lips as you rested your head on the steering wheel. You were definitely well and thoroughly fucked in this situation.
You lifted your head, resting your chin on the steering wheel. A previously unnoticed light ahead caught your eye.
Perhaps that is a gas station or some other source of respite.
So you got out of your car and started your sorry little trek to the gas station, shivering every time the wind blew just a little too hard.
Should’ve brought a damn jacket.
In your defense, it was summertime, so your crop top and shorts made a lot of sense for daytime weather. You just hadn’t anticipated having to walk half a mile at night. Clothing aside, you were being incredibly vigilant as you walked. Tonight just didn’t feel like the right night to get murdered.
As you got closer to the gas station, you could see it was dead as hell. Not surprising given you were in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night.
Two dudes standing on the corner of the building caught your eye. One was wearing black ripped skinny jeans and a white hoodie, pulled up over his head. You could see his messy long black hair coming down out of the hood. The rest of his face was obscured by a mask.
Maybe he’s worried about getting sick?
The other one was a bit taller, also wearing a hoodie, but his had stripes on the sleeves and he didn’t have it pulled up, which left his shaggy brown hair and a pair of goofy looking goggles on top of his head completely visible. There was also one other super notable feature about him, which was that he was wearing a huge bandage on the left side of his face.
These guys look kinda sketchy.
Other than your quick glance at them, you tried to keep your head down and walk into the gas station quickly. Once inside, you walked straight up to the counter, only to see it was empty.
There’s no one working here?
You waited for a bit, thinking maybe they had just walked to the back or were on break or something. A peruse of the aisles didn’t seem like a bad idea, but even after finding a monster and some candy, no one had come to the counter.
“Hello?” You called into the store, only to get silence back.
You waited for about 5 more minutes, your stomach starting to churn. Your original plan was to come in here and beg to use the phone, but there was no person behind the counter to beg to, and no phone in sight for you to just take matters into your own hands.
After another ten minutes of waiting you weren’t only anxious, but now you were feeling pretty pissed too. What kind of gas station doesn’t even keep staff on at night?
I’m fucking stealing this shit.
You walked out of the gas station, fuming, only to find that those two guys were still standing there.
Can’t hurt to ask.
You swallowed your fear and walked up to them, both of them turning to look at you as you walked up.
“Hi, um, sorry to bother you guys, but do either of you have a phone I could use?” When the pair just stared at you for just a beat too long you decided to keep going. “I promise I’m not trying to steal it! It’s just my car broke down and I’m not getting any reception out here.”
The tall one chuckled and you could tell the other guy was smiling a bit beneath his mask, they exchanged a glance before looking back at you. The pale one in the white hoodie was the first to speak up. “Nah, we’re not getting any reception out here either, sweetheart.” His voice was gruff and a bit raspy.
Despite the bad feeling in your gut from the way they had glanced at each other and the fact that you felt like that was a lie, you pushed further. “Well… You two wouldn’t happen to know anything about cars would you?”
—
“So what are you -fuck- doing out here in the middle of the night anyways?” The tall one, who had introduced himself to you as Toby asked. You noticed he jerked his head to the side in tandem with the swear, but you decided not to ask, it was probably some kind of medical condition or something.
“I was just passing through on my way home from visiting a friend. I hadn’t really anticipated my car totally malfunctioning.” You were walking in between them, Toby on your right and the other one, Jeff, on your left. You hadn’t really thought much about the way the three of you had fallen into stride, but now as you walked with them you felt a little nervous about being alone with them.
You cast a glance at Jeff, who had been a lot quieter than Toby. He glanced at you at the same moment and you immediately averted your eyes.
That shouldn’t have made my heart flutter like that. That’s just pathetic.
“You’re not go- -cough- gonna ask what we’re doing out here this late? You must be pretty carefree.” Toby had leaned in to say to you, causing you to jump just a little, especially since his jerking caused him to lean his head even closer to you than you assumed he intended.
You immediately realized how rude you were being. “I’m sorry!” You clasped your hands together. “I totally just asked you guys for help and I haven’t even asked anything about you guys.”
“That’s what you’re worried about?” Jeff finally spoke up. “Not the smartest, are you?”
You cocked your head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“A girl alone asking two random guys for help when she has no way to escape? Pretty fucking stupid.”
Your brain short circuited, thrown off by the fact that he would say something like that so directly. You didn’t know what to say. Wanting to lighten the mood you just blurted out, “I mean at least you guys are hot.”
You immediately regretted it once it had come out.
What the fuck did I just say?
“Oh?” Toby had leaned in towards you again. “You’d just -fuck- say something like that so directly? Are you trying to ask us for something?”
“No, no!” You immediately tried to cover your ass. “I was just trying to make a joke or something. It was stupid.”
Jeff was looking at you now too, a dark look in his eyes. You could tell he was smiling under the mask, too.
“Are you a -fuck- sicko?” Toby asked, jerking a little more as you could feel his excitement rise. “Huh? Do you fantasize -fuck- about getting kidnap- -fuck- kidnapped by guys in the woods?” There was a clear fascination in his eyes, like he was dying to know the answer.
“I’m not!” You attested, holding your hands up in front of you trying to create a little bit of space between you and Toby. “I swear I was just-”
“This thing yours?”
You turned to see Jeff standing in front of your car. Thank god you were back to the car, it’s a worthy distraction.
“Yeah!” You said a little too eagerly. “I’ll go pop the hood.”
You circled the car and hopped into the driver's seat, pulling the handle under the steering wheel. The hood instantly jumped up with a little pop sound. You got out as Toby was pulling up the hood, propping it up with the hood rod.
You walked around the front of it, leaning over the car to point. “So it was making like a rumbling noise and it kinda sounded like it was coming from over here.”
You were completely bent over the car, painfully oblivious to the way your shorts hugged your ass.
They were on either side of you now, Toby a little closer than Jeff.
Jeez he really doesn’t know personal space…
“Yeah? It was over -fuck- here?” Toby jerked some more, pointing in the opposite direction you had shown them.
“No, it was more towards the back. Like-” You bent over even further to point in the direction of the noise. “Here.”
You made the mistake of looking over your shoulder right after you said that. Toby was way too close to you. Even worse, he looked like he was jittering with excitement.
Before you could even process that, his arms snaked around you. One around your hip to harshly press you against him and the other roughly squeezing your chest. He leaned in close to your neck, nose pressed against your hair before he inhaled deeply. You yelped in surprise, both from Toby and from the sudden sound of the hood closing.
“You always rush the fun parts.” Your eyes whipped next to you where Jeff was, pulling off his face mask which revealed two large gashes on his face, gruesomely exaggerating his smile.
“Yeah, but she smells so good.” Toby sniffed you again, then squeezed the places he was holding you even harder causing you to yelp again. “And I knew she’d make cute noises.”
“You’re scaring her. She’d like this better.” Jeff said, lifting your chin and pulling you into a kiss that slowly became sloppier as it went on. Electricity shot down to your cunt.
Your head was spinning, your body growing hotter as this went on. How did this even happen?
“Hey, that’s not fair -fuck-. I wanted -fuck- to kiss her first.” Toby seemed to jerk even more the more excited he got.
Jeff seemed to ignore Toby’s complaining, only pushing his tongue deeper into your mouth. You felt the wetness collecting in your panties, especially when Toby pressed himself even harder against you. You could feel how hard he was already, and that knowledge only served to send more electricity down to your cunt.
“Y’know you’re not really struggling at all.” Toby whispered to you. “I was right about you wasn’t I? You’re sick, aren’t you?”
You couldn’t answer, Jeff still occupying your mouth. Toby started kissing your neck, landing on the perfect spot to suck hard and leave a mark. His hand snaked down from your hip, dipping under your waistband and into your panties. His fingers slid between your folds, immediately getting coated in all your wetness. He groaned in your ear. “You really do like this don’t you? You’re so fucking wet.”
Jeff pulled away from your mouth, looking you in the eyes. “You’re fucking wet already? That’s pathetic.”
Toby bit into your neck, causing you to moan. Jeff grabbed your face, squeezing it as he forced you to look him in the eyes. He looked completely fascinated with you. “She really is a good one.”
Toby started to run his fingers in between your folds, deliberately slowing down each time his fingers ran over your clit. You bit your lip to stifle the moan that rose up. “See? Good thing I killed that stupid fuck at the gas station.” Toby said, sounding pretty proud of himself.
You froze, your face twisting into a horrified expression.
“Oh, what’s the matter, sweetheart?” Jeff teased, a sick grin on his face. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of us now?”
“Let me go!” You sounded panicked, starting to struggle out of Toby’s hold. Toby giggled at your attempts, they had no effect on his grip. He was much much stronger than he looked.
In some sick twist of fate, the fear was only making you more aroused, but there was absolutely no way you could let them know that. That would undoubtedly be disastrous.
“That’s the expression I love to see.” Jeff smiled wide, loving the way the fear was etched into your features. Toby bit you again, harder this time, causing a half scream, half moan sound to come out of you.
“You know that you’re only getting wetter?” Toby said, just to taunt you. He dipped a finger into you. “Fuck, you’re tight. You’re gonna feel so good wrapped around my cock, pretty girl.”
Jeff leaned down to your neck, biting down on the side opposite of the one Toby bit earlier. The pain caused you to cry out, only turning into choked moans as Toby slid another finger in and curled them forward.
Jeff had one hand on your waist and the other started unbuttoning your shorts as he sucked a dark purple mark onto your neck. Toby only continued to grind his fingers against your g-spot, his thumb rubbing circles around your clit.
Jeff pulled back to admire his work, biting back a smirk quickly before practically ripping your shorts down to the ground. “She even wore cute panties. Those for us, sweetheart?”
You whined in response. You were only getting wetter and wetter, your cunt making gushing sounds as Toby continued to pound your g-spot with his fingers. “I think she really likes being treated like a slut.” Toby said. “She’s not even fighting it.” He leaned closer to your ear. “You like it when we’re rough with you, don’t you, pretty girl? Makes your cunt feel good?”
Your eyes started to flutter back, and Jeff gripped your face once again. “Hey. Eyes on me, sweetheart.” He simultaneously wrapped his other hand around your throat. “Gonna come already?”
Toby let go of your chest, only momentarily though, so he could slip his hand under your crop top and bra and tease your nipples. The combination of everything was too much, you felt hazy and your brain was turning to TV static. The tension in your stomach was coiling and coiling until it finally snapped.
“That’s it. Good girl. Come like the pathetic fucking slut you are.” Toby taunted you as you came hard around his fingers, your cunt convulsing around them.
“Fuckkk…” you moaned out, your eyes rolling back in your head. “Don’t stop…” you just barely whispered, but it was loud enough for Toby to hear. He giggled in your ear. “God, you’re sick.”
Jeff was getting annoyed watching you two. Albeit watching you come was entertaining, he was a little pissed he wasn’t the one to make you come first. “Alright, my turn. Get her up on the car.”
Toby swiveled around with you in his arms, sitting back on the hood of the car with you on his lap, your back pressed to his chest. He hooked an arm under each of your legs, hauling them up and completely putting you on display for Jeff. “That good enough for you?” Toby asked, a little smug. He was clearly still feeling cocky from making you come first.
Jeff just rolled his eyes, sinking down to his knees. His face was just inches away from your cunt. He gripped your thigh with one hand, using the other one to spread you open even further with his thumb.
“Aww~, your pretty little pussy is trembling.” He snickered, looking right at your most intimate area.
You trembled in Toby’s hold. “What? You’re embarrassed now?” Toby asked, mockingly.
Jeff watched you tremble for just a second longer before licking a thick stripe up your cunt. A long moan tore out of your throat, your head falling back onto Toby’s shoulder.
More moans followed as Jeff started lapping at your clit, each stroke of his tongue sending waves of electricity through your body.
You were still so sensitive from coming a few minutes ago, so it wouldn’t take much to push you over the edge again.
Toby pushed one of your legs to the side, leaving you to hold it open yourself as he occupied his hand by pushing up your shirt, taking the bra up with it and exposing your chest to the cool night air.
He used the hand that was still holding your other leg to start kneading your chest and the other one to turn your chin towards him, tipping it upwards to claim your mouth.
You moaned into Toby’s mouth as Jeff’s tongue started to tease your entrance, dipping inside. He used his thumb to put pressure on your clit as he fucked you with his tongue.
Toby bit your lip a little bit before releasing your mouth. “You that close already?”
“Fuck…!” You moaned out, gripping Toby’s pant legs below you to ground yourself.
Toby roughly turned your chin towards him again, “You gonna come all over his tongue, pretty girl? Huh? Answer me.”
“I’m… coming…!” You whimpered, almost breathlessly.
Your climax seemed to never end, dragging on and on as Jeff continued to rub circles on your clit while he tongue fucked you. Finally, he relented and you were able to come down.
Jeff got up, already unbuttoning his pants. “Keep her up like that.”
Toby immediately refused. “What? No way. I want to fuck her first.” He let go of your legs and stood up, hauling you up with him. He turned you towards him, sitting back down onto the hood of the car and pulling you into his lap.
“You already got to make her come first.” Jeff argued.
“So?” Toby looked unaffected, already unbuttoning his jeans and pulling his cock out. “She’s already in my lap.” He looked up at you. “Besides, you wanna fuck me first anyways, right?”
You could barely focus on what they were saying, focusing more on Toby’s cock pressed against the entrance of your cunt. You were dripping onto him. The need to have him inside you was dire, and if you were honest you didn’t have time to wait for this argument to play out.
You rocked yourself against his cock, signaling how desperate you were. “Such a cockslut.” Toby muttered under his breath, biting his lip as he helped guide you onto his length. You both let out a groan as you sunk down slowly, taking him all the way to the hilt.
“Fuck… I knew you’d be tight.” Toby breathed out, gripping your hips with bruising force. You winced, and he looked up at you with eyes full of morbid fascination. “Does it hurt?”
His hold on you didn’t loosen as he lifted your hips and slammed you back down onto him, watching the way your face changed from pain to pleasure. “But you like it? It feels good?” He kept moving your hips up and down on his lap.
“Slow… down…!” You moaned uncontrollably. The more times you came, the more sensitive you had become.
“Really? You want me to? You’re creaming all over my cock right now.” He bit his lip.
It was then that your ears started picking up on the horribly lewd squelching noise made by your movements. You were creaming all over him. Tears were brimming in your eyes as you got closer and closer to coming again.
Toby slammed into your g-spot just a few more times just right until you finally broke, coming around his cock. You were almost crying out, letting out choked moans until he bit down hard on your shoulder. He let out a low groan and kept his face buried in your shoulder. “Du fühlst dich so gut an.” He mumbled.
You were too out of it to even process that he wasn’t even speaking English.
“He acts like we can even understand what the fuck he’s saying.” Jeff scoffed, his fingers prodding at your cunt.
“Jeff!” You whipped around, surprised that he had gotten so close without you even noticing.
“Hey what are you doing?” Toby narrowed his eyes at Jeff. “Wait your turn.”
Jeff had coated his fingers in the substance created by you and Toby and was slowly edging his finger into your cunt.
“She can take it. Relax, Toby.” Jeff rolled his eyes. You felt yourself stretch wider as Jeff got his finger in, pushing it as deep as possible.
“Oh my god…” you breathed out, gripping onto Toby even tighter.
“You can take it, can’t you?” Jeff whispered in your ear. “I know you can.”
Jeff added a second finger, stretching you even wider with Toby still inside you. The increase in pressure from behind was pushing Toby’s cock against your g-spot hard, causing you to tighten around him and Jeff’s fingers.
You leaned forward, burying your face in Toby’s shoulder so you could let out a guttural moan without having to feel so embarrassed about it. You lifted your hips as much as you could with Toby inside you, giving Jeff the perfect angle to slip into your cunt.
You felt the head of his cock push at your entrance as soon as he retracted his fingers. “Such a perfect little slut. You want to take both our cocks, sweetheart?”
You whined, hoping he would just fuck you already.
Jeff gripped around your throat, his voice coming out in a low growl. “I want an answer. Tell me you want both our cocks in you, fucking slut.”
Toby lifted your chin. “Look at me while you say it.”
It was absolutely humiliating having to admit that you were this greedy for both of them, but it only made you want it more. “I want… both… inside.”
Toby’s eyes went almost hazy, dazed with lust. “Gott, du bist so verdammt süß, wenn du auf meinem Schoß sitzt.” He whispered against your lips before hungrily kissing you as Jeff slowly started to push himself into your cunt.
It was unlike anything you had felt before, the feeling was so overwhelming you felt like coming just from having them both inside.
“See? I knew you could take both, just like a good fucking slut.” Jeff groaned into your ear, holding onto your waist and slowly pulling back before pushing into you again.
Your mind had gone offline, only able to focus on the overwhelming sensation in your cunt and the hands all over your body.
Toby’s hands gripped around your hips again, holding you tightly as he started to rock you in time with Jeff’s thrusts. You couldn’t even hold yourself up anymore, leaning into Toby as he slowly laid back on the hood of the car, pulling you down with him.
You could easily see on his face how good it felt for him, his cheeks flushed and his eyes were completely dazed as he stared at you. The intensity of the eye contact combined with the sensory overload was enough to make you climax again, not even able to really squeeze around their cocks with how much you were stretched, but it still had you shaking and whining.
“God… you’re taking us so well, sweetheart.” Jeff was pulling you down onto his cock even harder. “Gonna fill your pretty pussy up with so much cum.”
You were so pliable in their hands, allowing them to move you in anyway they wanted. The pleasure wracked through your whole body, making your muscles go limp.
Toby’s brain seemed to have come back online, finally adjusting to the tightness of having both of them inside. He got a sick grin on his face when he saw just how fucked out you looked. “I’m gonna break you.” He said breathlessly, before moving a hand off your hip to press on your clit.
It was then that you swore you could see your life flash before your eyes. You were going to die, death by orgasm. You collapsed fully on to Toby’s chest, giving Jeff an even better angle to fuck you. You came so hard you swore you could actually see stars.
“Fuck.” You heard Jeff curse, his thrusts getting more sporadic before feeling the warmth fill your cunt.
For just a moment, everything was still. The only sound was the overlapping panting of you three. You squeaked as Jeff slowly pulled out of you. Despite the loss, you still felt so full with Toby inside.
“Fuck you’re still so tight.” Toby almost growled in your ear. He gripped your hips and lifted you up off of him. You whined at the loss of him before you even registered how embarrassed you should be for whining at such a thing.
He quickly flipped you over on your back, like you were weightless. “C’mon, don’t whine. I just want a better angle now that I don’t have to share.” He harshly thrusted into you without warning, with an obscene gushing sound from Jeff’s cum still in your cunt. You gasped sharply from just how harsh and sudden it was.
“That was mean wasn’t it?” Toby asked you, cruelly. He was mumbling more to himself, “Ich kann dir nicht widerstehen, wenn du so wehrlos für mich bist.”
You finally noticed that Jeff had sat down next to you on the hood when he turned your chin towards him. “Be a good girl and clean me off?”
You opened your mouth, licking his half-hard cock clean of his cum and your juices. You moaned over his cock as Toby gripped your hips hard, drilling into your g-spot.
“Does it feel good when he fucks my cum into you?” Jeff taunted you, looking right into your eyes as you continued to lick his cock as best you could while you were completely fucked out.
Toby was getting more breathless, a series of groans coming from him. “Du bist so verdammt süß, wenn du so wehrlos unter mir liegst.”
Feeling satisfied with your job, Jeff pulled back, allowing Toby to fully focus on filling you with a second load. He pushed one of your legs back to your chest and leaned forward, fucking deep into you. “You want me to come? Huh? You want me to fill you up again?”
“Fuck…! Please…!” You were so close, desperate for just a little bit more.
Toby bit your neck hard, a half groan half growl ripping out of his throat as he came deep inside. The pain was just enough to send you over the edge, your cunt milking every last drop from him.
He kept his head buried in your neck and muttered something. “Ich kann dich nicht einfach davonkommen lassen.”
—
It was cold, your breath puffed out in front of you as you walked along the sidewalk, the streetlights barely enough to illuminate your path. You shoved your hands into your hoodie pockets, they had started to get red from the cold.
One of the flyers on the telephone pole caught your eye, strangely illuminated in the sea of papers stapled to the pole.
Your own smiling face stared back at you. The word “missing” written in big letters at the top, with a physical description of you written right under. The text at the bottom listed where you were last seen and where your car was found.
You stared at it for what felt like forever.
“Getting distracted, sweetheart?” Jeff asked, tilting your chin towards him.
Toby grabbed your arm, pulling you closer to him and away from Jeff. “C’mon -fuck- pretty girl. We got places to be.” He jerked his head to the side.
“Pfft. You two are always the same.” You smiled, walking along with them.
Okay so btw, back when I wrote another Toby fic (which I will post later) I did some research to make my characterization more accurate. So according to the users of reddit, for the most part tics will subside during sex, so I wrote it that way here. Just wanted to clarify that I didn’t just forget to write his tics halfway through.
Hope you enjoyed~
#crp fandom#creepypasta#jeff the killer#ticci toby#ticci toby x reader#jeff the killer x reader#toby rogers#jeffrey woods
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ᝰ.ᐟ SERENITY | 001
FANDOM: TWTPTFLOB
WARNINGS: Kidnapping, simping (real), harsh handling (gripping chin)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Can't believe I locked in twice in one day. Amazing. Didi is Dion if that wasn't clear lmao. Also novel spoilers
◄ PREVIOUS CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ►
Your eyes peel open uncomfortably in an unfamiliar setting. Silky, satin sheets cover your form as the sun kisses, no, burns your face. You turn your face away with your eyes closed, refusing to accept your fate until an unfamiliar voice shocks you.
"Wake up,"
"Five more minutes, mom..." you yawn, covering your face with your arm. Your heart once again hammers in your chest, an uncomfortable yet familiar feeling as you recall yesterday. I don’t know who that person is, but that is not my mother. Seconds go by before the voice speaks again.
"I am not your mother," the voice repeats to you as if it can read your mind. Your eyes open, pulling yourself off the bed, which proved to be a challenge since your arms felt like jelly, wobbling with every movement you took.
Your eyes come face to face with a man. Crimson eyes, like blood. Black hair like the night, with a small tinge of purple in it, makes his hair seem... cute. His arms were behind his back, posture straight like a board and a stare that you kill from miles away. And his face… his face... DIDI???
"Wow…” you let out a breathy laugh, daring to speak to the man who could very well be the barrier between you and the next life. “Who knew I'd see my favourite character in the novel in the flesh? You look young, though... well, younger than when you first appeared in the manhwa. You could be a really good cosplayer. Everything about you’s perfect," you continue to ramble on, confusing the man standing by your bedside. His eyes are locked onto your face. Specifically, the dried tear stains on your cheeks, the ones you don't wipe away. "How old are you?" you suddenly ask, pulling him back into the present.
"..."
"Give me a number, man," the man doesn't say anything more, turning on his heel and starting to leave the room. "How rude,". The door slams shut, leaving you alone in the room. A couple of seconds after his departure, you blink. Once. Twice. Your eyes gloss over the room, taking in the sun creeping in through the curtains, the sheets pooling on your lap, and the sheer size of the room. Then, your mind went back to that handsome stranger. Well, not stranger, but...
Can't believe I saw Didi in the flesh... my handsome villain, ugh. Wait, is he the one who saved me? No, he probably would have just let me die. He doesn’t claim to have the “benevolent heart” the man who saved you has. Also, his voice wasn't the same. “You will pay me back tenfold,” he said. Or something like that. Can’t wait.
There was also someone else on the ground. It sounded like a boy, someone who probably just hit puberty. Jeremy...? I can hear that. It makes sense kinda. If it is him, then this is before the manhwa takes place. Possibly two years, or three?
You plop back onto the bed with a soft thud, arms and legs stretched out in a starfish position. This place isn't real. I have no doubts I'm not dreaming, but... this is all a place someone else made. The worldbuilding CANNOT be this good, there has to be something about this world that I can exploit and live the rest of my days as a rich old lady.
But first, I need to ensure my survival. Two outcomes can potentially occur, and they both depend on one person. Roxana. Well, Jeremy. I don't see a way I can determine which Roxana is in her body. That might take a week, at least, considering I leave this room alive.
No, this all depends on Jeremy. This all depends on how close he is to Roxana. That will probably be the easiest thing to do. If Jeremy isn’t following after her half-sister like a puppy, then this is the worst timeline. If it isn’t then… as long as I don’t kill Cassis… I can do whatever I want, right?
You turn your head to the door, suddenly feeling the urge to escape. If I leave... it makes me seem guilty. Of I crime I didn’t even commit. And Lante will no doubt kill me. If this is actually the novel and I'm not tweaking, leaving this room is a death wish. I may be thrill-seeking, but I'm not stupid.
Turning your body on the bed so your face is suffocated by the pillow, you hope the lack of oxygen will knock you out for a while. This is it. Goodbye Earth.
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆
"...keep her alive. She's very interesting to me," the first thing you hear as soon as you wake up is another unfamiliar voice, alongside footsteps retreating from your bedside. The person the man says this order to does not respond, only staring at the man who walks away rushed, like he has someplace else to be. I get it, Lante must be a busy man, with all the children he’s abusing and refining into weapons, and all those sorcerers he’s exploiting for his own gain.
The recognisable man turns his head towards your bed, only to be slightly surprised you staring up at him, not that would show on his face. "You didn't answer my-"
"Silence," he mutters, but the tone and depth are enough to cut daggers into you. He takes a step forward until he's within arm's reach from you. You sit up from your bed, head resting against the headboard as you pat down a spot next to you, inviting him to sit. He looks down at your hand, then back at you. He refuses your invitation, instead asking a question of his own. "What did you mean by..." he trails off, expecting you to answer his question for him.
Hah. I really dropped the bomb this time. If I tell him now... it doesn't matter which Roxana is the one in this timeline. I have a feeling the butterfly effect will be strong. Might even change the ending of the story as I know it.
But... I'm here now. Might as well live life the way I want to. I’m excited to see how this will turn out.
You chuckle. "Your name is Dion Agriche. When you were a child, your older brother gave you sweets and patted you on the head, only for you to throw the sweets away in a bush. Your mother, Maria, would dress you up in girl clothes to alter and refine for your sister Roxana and her mother Sierra. When you were fifteen, you killed your brother as a direct order from your father, the man that just left this room," I could just tell him everything, but... time to flex my knowledge. I’ll only tell him the parts of his childhood now, I don’t want to spill everything. Patience, [name], patience. Thank God I read the side stories before I read the ending of the book.
"...he was my half-"
"Does that really change anything?" you interrupted him, similar to how he did it to you a few moments ago. OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID THAT!
"...I suppose not."
You both sit in silence for a while, you fiddle with your hands as he looks down at the ground, probably thinking of what to say next. "Your life... everyone's life here is part of a novel. In my world, I read a story following your younger half-sister Roxana and the Pedelian boy Cassis. I was near the end, I'm not that sure much happened after since the main fight battle thing was almost over but... I can have a pretty good idea what happened,"
The man stands rooted in position, taking his hand from behind his back to char his through his hair, and for a split second, looking like his father. I doubt he would want to hear that if I told him. Once again, just like last time, he turns on his heel, walking towards the door. He twists the door handle before you call out to him.
"Why are you leaving?"
He pauses for a few moments, as if he’s thinking how to proceed. You already know he made up his mind, waiting patiently for him. You watch as his hand leaves the knob. Still, he doesn't face you. "Why are you telling me this?"
"You asked,” you admit, shrugging. “Besides, I know how Roxana and Sylvia have their ending. I simply wish to have mine."
"Are you not worried I will tell anyone?"
"I don't see anyone who would believe you,"
"Roxana would," you paused. "You mentioned the Blue Princess,"
"I did,"
"Why do you not think I will inform her?"
"Because I know you," you admit. "More than you think,"
He faces you, crimson eyes boring into yours. His face twists slightly, almost as if he’s offended. He struts up to you in haste, leaning down to grip your chin and pull you towards his face roughly. "You do not know me. If you did... then you would know not to make me angry,"
You look at him with unwavering determination. "You do not scare me. In fact," your shallow face suddenly perks up, a smile gracing your face. "You're my favourite character in the novel,"
He blinks. "Why?"
His grip on your chin tightens, and you shift uncomfortably. "Roxana was an amazing main character. But, in my opinion, she was blindsided by love. Not her love particularly, but... the love people have towards her. It completely replicated The Abysmal Flower novel when Sylvia was the main character. Roxana simply acted differently to the gazes of the supposed male leads. It was boring to predict everyone’s feelings and opinions of each other," you pause to look into his eyes, "You, however..."
He lets go of your chin in a huff, hastily making his way to the door, and this time, you do not stop him. You rub your chin in agony, letting out a small laugh. Let's hope I didn't royally fuck up… no, it’s fine. What can he possibly do with that information? Kill Roxana? He needs reason for that, one even he cannot make up to give to his father.
#the way to protect the female lead’s older brother#twtptflob#dion agriche#jeremy agriche#roxana agriche#the way to protect the female lead's older brother#cassis pedelian#lante agriche#twtptflob x reader#x reader#yandere#yandere x reader#x female reader#dion agriche x reader#yandere x you
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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I've read some of your posts (I love your art by the way) and as a Clay simp I have to say I HATE ARTHUR PUPPINGTON MY GOD, AS MUCH AS CLAY HAD BEEN A SPOILED BRAT YOU CAN'T JUST IGNORE A FCKING CHILD AAAAAcbsknx The old man needed to mature instead of seeing a 12-year-old as competition
I get Arthur puppington but this old man should be upset at his wife not at the 12 year old who's been sheltered, spoiled and tricked into believing everyone should kneel down for him his whole life, that kid literally does not know any better
#i get everyone in that family........but I'm more upset at arthur. who COULD have helped and guide clay. he had this opportunity-#for 7 years yet he did nothing but physically abuse him for the fist months after his wife died#no. actually he had Clay's whole life lmao#why are you letting your wife shelter this boy!!!! he is going to grow into an insufferable man child#i get arthur puppington so much but you're the adult thid child relies completely on you#bastard!!!!!#i probably spoke about this already but god i love trashing this old man
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Listen, if your Lavellan would be happy in the Fade with Solas forever - cool, no problem. But mine would be BORED AS FUCK. I cannot imagine her being stuck in the regret prison with that man with no one else to talk to and nothing to do and not able to talk with Dorian and not able to ride about on her elk and not being able to hunt and not being able to see her Clan and not able to feel the wind in her hair or the rain on her face and-
#*rambles on and on about how much Lavellan has to give up for the egg*#what are they going to do in there??!#can they eat?#you know i could get it if it was like the crossroads in DAI - there's a whole bunch of stuff to do there! It's pretty too!#“i spy with my little-”#“IT'S A FUCKING SPIRIT - JUST LIKE THE LAST FIVE HUNDRED TIMES”#“But what kind of spirit?” :D#not that she can do any of this anyway since the south is gone#my lavellan ringing up dorian and him breaking into the fade to save her from a life of boredom#in the lavellan playthrough i did I had the 'happy' ending at first...then reloaded and kicked his ass into the fade#she wouldn't have left the world like that :[#disappointed me so much that i made the decision that she gets with professor Kenric like two years after trespasser#that's right solas - she got with buckle boy -> the same man that forgot ur name in hakkon lmao
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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felix: [takes limerick aside early in the campaign and confides, with difficulty because he's ashamed about it, that he sometimes has trouble speaking at all, because he wants at least someone to have fair warning ahead of it possibly coming up if he's gonna be traveling in a group for any amount of time]
limerick the first time felix mostly loses speech: you've been really quiet, everything okay? do you have any thoughts to add [to this discussion]? :)
limerick last session when simon lowkey assigned felix to go do a social encounter: I'll go with you, to help with the talking :)
limerick as soon as we're in the social encounter: [looks directly at felix, expectantly]
#felix: [dissociating] no yeah that's fine#the thing about the latter bit is that felix could have handled it better if he hadn't been DROPPED on a TRUSTFALL fgkjhdfg#he's not... shy per se or inherently uncomfortable about talking to people he just worries he's going to screw it up#so that was more 'oh perfect I can figure out where that npc is and limerick will talk to her. teamwork!' and relaxing into an expectation#and then getting rugpulled lol#[sigh] anyway none of this effects felix's FEELINGS about limerick really but like. it IS going to effect their relationship#ah boy he is not gonna remember if I tell him important and sensitive things about myself#and he's gonna try to be proactively kind and supportive in ways that are actively worse than if he hadn't#I guess I'd better just not confide in him or let my guard down enough to lean on him for support then :\#WHICH LIKE-- it is what it is but ah beans :')#reminding myself that pulling away from relationships rather than advocate for himself is A Character Flaw I gave the lad on purpose.....#can't set up uncomfortable situations if I'm not prepared to then play in the uncomfortable space.....#you have one(1) friend and he's so so so bad at listening to you or understanding you and you just gotta deal with that#he's gonna actively stress you out A Lot but you'd better not say anything to him about it or you'll end up with No Friends (again)#AH ALSO to be clear: this seems like a lot of projecting based on a couple minor things early in the campaign BUT#I should clarify that a lot of the 'oh god yep here we go' is coming from ME who's played dnd with this friend for many years lmao#no yeah this was Going To Happen and I'm not surprised but AH MAN. AH BEANS......
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its so important to me that you know how much ive already cried over this wip and its literally only been two days
#if this ever gets finished it will be a blasted miracle#god i just. it is just so much to me#its right in that sweet spot where it fits exactly with the image of the character in my head#AND its pressing on the bruise of an enormous hangup for me in my real life as well#i say this very genuinely: i think if u are not used to the creative process of things like making art/writing/music/dance/drama etc#its difficult to really get into how emotionally significant and worldview-changing those processes can be#obviously they dont HAVE to be. u can sing a song just for the sake of singing it and it doesn't need to mean anything at all if u want#but when u are actually CREATING it. like from nothing. boy that can really get u (in a good way and a not-good way)#and i dont say this to make the creative process sound all superior and grandiose just to make myself feel better - i really do think#that there is smth profoundly transformative and tender inside it that it is so important to feel#i mean. essentially its the feeling that the high school theatre kids are addicted to lmao#but they r totally right to be because it IS addictive and it DOES feel really good#when it comes to writing fic for me it can be such a powerful emotional experience#i only used to get that from dance (and that didn't start to happen until at LEAST 11 or 12 years after i started)#its not always SO intense. but when it is then it Really Is#and i think you can kind of tell when you read it#sometimes its emotional bc its the satisfying execution of a singular vision - its motion capture/out of my head/resist and elongate#and sometimes its bc the feeling is so intensely and overwhelmingly personal - return to me/blood sugar baby!/reeling/sea change/#in my mind i think you can really see it in my human nature series - the one with warden and vega#i dont know if thats purely bc that series means so much to me - its been my baby for almost 2 years now#or if its also bc much of it has happened during a very emotionally intense part of my life#in any case when i say that these things are very personal i don't mean in a literal sense necessarily#im not ACTUALLY out here building stalker museums or cannibalising prison guards or splitting the fabric of time#bc whats important is how it FEELS - at the heart of those fantastical things are emotions that aren't magical or supernatural at all#feelings and fears and desires that i have in my life - translated into something much bigger and grander and easier to talk about#do not worry because this is not going to be read by anyone. but if i were your english teacher i would tell you#to go and have a skim of one of the fics i mentioned just now#and i wonder what you think i was thinking about when i wrote it#what i was afraid of or what i was wanting or what i didn't know how to deal with#i dont have to ask because i already know. but i think you could guess if you really really wanted to
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Oooh why are you a Lava Cake hater? I’m so curious
😔😔😔 ive been discovered /j
I'm not even really a hater I'm just strongly. disinterested in it. It doesn't do anything for me, and I'm struggling to see how it got so popular (no hate to the shippers though lmao have fun!!!)
maybe this is gods revenge for the garvar era. punishing me for my crackship with another one. 😔
#i think im probably going to block the lava cake tag#theres so much of it in the main tag now and i just cant make myself care#i think fitz and marella could have an interesting dynamic?#in the first book she was sort of on dexs side about the whole vackers better than thou shit#she was the not like other girls gossip girl and he was the popular boy.#in a cheesy 2000s highschool movie? I think they have potential#and in canon it might be interesting to explore their relationship#when shes grown into an ability that marks her as a reject and unmatchable with him#but in canon i also cant see what would attract them to eachother in the first place.#maybe just prolonged exposure over the years slowly wearing away that distance between them?#sorry about the rambling tags lmao im just kind of writing down my thought process#now that im being forced to think about it though. i think it does have some potential.#it does seem like it can be an interesting dynamic but i still cant fully see it as romantic. if that makes sense.#kotlc
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THE IPOD IS WORKING
I REPEAT
THE IPOD
IS WORKING
#OKAY CONTEXT A FEW MONTHS AGO I BOUGHT AN IPOD CLASSIC‚ THE A1238 MODEL FROM 2007 TO BE EXACT#ON THE FLEA MARKET FOR THREE EUROS#THIS BAD BABY IS CAPABLE OF STORING EIGHTY GIGS OF MUSIC ON IT#TROUBLE IS‚ I WAS IN TOO MUCH SHIT TO GO LOOKING FOR A CABLE I COULD ATTEMPT TO CHARGE IT WITH#(the people at the flea market in my hometown are usually very honest about whether or not a piece of tech is working but i'll always have#my doubts until i see for myself)#TODAY I FINALLY MANAGED TO BRING MYSELF TO GO TO MY FAVORITE TECH STORE AND AFTER SOME DIGGING THEY ACTUALLY FOUND A 30-PIN CABLE#(it took them a while because the younger of the two dudes who were in the shift didn't exactly know what he was looking for. he brought a#package to the older guy and he said ''that's a samsung cable.'' in his defense‚ that cable and the actual 30-pin are incredibly similar in#shape so i don't blame him lmao‚ it was an honest mistake)#and i plugged that bad boy in tonight and NOT ONLY IS IT GIVING SIGNS OF LIFE (CHARGING)‚ IT SENT ME RIGHT TO THE MENU SCREEN AS SOON AS IT#GOT TO A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#NOW I FINALLY HAVE THE MOTIVATION TO GO THROUGH MY ENTIRE YOUTUBE DOC AND EXTRACT EVERY SINGLE SONG I'VE LISTENED TO IN THE PAST THREE YEAR#(that's as far as they date the watch history logs‚ sadly - they start deleting them after some point so everything before late 2020 is los#to time‚ but fortunately enough there is PLENTY left!)#CAN I GET A HELLLLLL YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#logs#I AM IMMEASURABLY HAPPY ABOUT THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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2019 was one of the hardest years of my life but woah I'm just remembering that I had a therapist who was insistent that I didn't transition and that I follow a one year program of proving to her that I was trans.
that wasn't even why I was going to see her in the first place, but the moment she found out she wanted me to stop hrt immediately so she could 'properly' diagnose me with gender dysphoria. she went on this long rant about how back in her day people had to spend years talking to doctors before they were allowed to transition and she has trans clients from the 80s and 90s who were made to prove to her that they were trans for a whole year before she would prescribe them anything.
#[static]#it was wild too cuz i used to go to her when i was in my late teens early 20s and I went back to her because i trusted her insight#but the moment she found out i was transitioning she no longer wanted to talk about the horrifying trauma I'd just gone through#like .... being transgender and transitioning after years and years of being in the closet was such a big step for me and my healing#it was (and still is) one of the best things i could have ever done for my health and happiness and its wild to me that#because i used to be a woman so many ppl were like 'are you just doing this to get out of your shitty marriage?' like .......... wtf??#she basically believed that none of the decades worth of gender dysphoria and trans issues were related to me just being transgender ...#and instead it was a way to get my abusive and clinging ex husband to leave me alone fdkjghf#i transitioned late because he was one of the ppl who trashed my self esteem and would spend days screaming at me if i mentioned dysphoria#i get shivers just thinking about how awful that was lfkghfd but me finally transitioning was a way for me to finally be myself#despite other ppls ideas or wishes of me and boy howdy im so glad that i finally stuck up for myself despite the fallout of all my relation#if you read this you get a kiss on the cheek ... just ranting because wow i forgot about that! so much shit had happened all at once lmao
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bonus thing i cherish in this shot is that it's the one time it's immediately noticeable that her hair length is uneven....let's go Cutting One's Own Hair (With Or Without A Mirror) look havers irl (b/c of cutting one's own hair with or without a mirror, maybe) & even when it's recreated on purpose like so
#haven't yet rewatched fury road as i've been anticipating doing for weeks now. we're on the verge of it though i can sense it#thank god ms charlize (juking diacritics) decided on Furiosa Will Have Short Hair#the No Diegetic Makeup. the constant (smudged with dirt or grease or blood perhaps) looks#only additional thing that we're demanding from anything. armpit hair please. for furiosa at least#meanwhile siiigh i guess like three days (? i will go through the number of Nights in my head. one. two.) closer to two days#isn't long enough to grow that much leg hair siiigh fine. more difficult to match up leg hair shots chronology too but if only....#reminds me how a while ago i was like half watching smthing & after a fair number of scenes was like oh hang on that's charlize furiosa....#b/c i basically know her From This. i'd seen smthing else she was in years before w/o remembering much details of Anything#(also had technically seen tom hardy in smthing more recently at the time Also w/o recognizing as much. also thanks at least in part to#not especially enjoying the movie) & i'm not great with faces; that most roles are gonna have Longer Hair / Makeup happening#and a lack of constant dirt grease blood etc even like okay this would be quite difficult#so i Didn't recognize the actor for a hot minute until the reason i Did was just this instance of [subtle quiet shift Acting Moment]#where she got this particular Silent Restrained Intensity going and i was like oh hang on. Could Be Her lmao. it was#anyways even capturing this screencap it was like Aughhh that she Walks. Stops. Walks. the Soundtrack doing what it's doing here....#and if there's Anything in this film to illustrate [max: main character] [furiosa: protagonist] boy is it this scene. wah#the end of this shot as capable like starts looking away like ah yeah emotion moment. well i'll give you this privacy#just like the fast & furious crossroads chat about cam fr lol like i'll respectfully turn so i'm not looking right at you for this Real Shi#responding to your reeling deepest devastation by moving forward still as far as you can? a quarter mile at a time of you#fury road
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I've gone through a character arc today. I'm... better(?) now
#speculation nation#animal death ment/#turns out shoving all my grief down and refusing to process it in fear of experiencing negative emotions is detrimental to me#i just went through all my pictures of cassy. experienced again what a loverboy he was...#cried again. twice. miserable experience honestly. i dont know how people do this more than a few times a year.#i have a few videos of him. including him watching a bird video on my computer.#unfortunately i never did capture his meow. which breaks my heart but there's nothing i can do about it now.#i'll just have to hold that sound in my memory. his obnoxious 'mraaaa' that could get comically long when he was begging for food#it hurts. but i'm allowed to remember that i loved him. i'm allowed to remember what he was to me.#an obnoxiously bullheaded cat that was strangely skittish at the same time.#it was annoying at the time but i treasure the memory of when he got out of my apartment unit#and i went chasing him up and down the stairs of the central area several times yelling 'cassy get BACK here!'#as he loudly did his 'MRAAAA' the whole time as he ran from me#my baby boy. tally loved him too. it hurts my heart that i cant communicate to her what happened.#no wonder she hates june bug so much. her friend disappeared & then a few weeks later theres This weird new cat#hopefully in time she can be friends with june bug too. there was a solid month or two where she haaaated cassy lmao#before a switch was flipped and she was grooming him every time he sat in front of her.#cassy may have lived for too short of a time. but he was very very loved. and i can see that in the records of him.#he was purring for me in the end. my sweet loverboy...#... i was going to try writing before work today but it seems like it's a grief processing day.#oh well. it's probably better for me overall.#negative/#sure. i guess.
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and what if nero thinks of himself as a tool for the three magicians he knew for a decade. what if he only limits as himself as a pawn, what if that's why he so easily threw himself as a sacrifice to protect his friends.
#im giving myself pain because i just know maydare would diverse from this#nero knew his worth but as a prince rather than as himself. he have SO MUCH trust on his familiar that it will bring rescue to his team#kanon told nero why he saved him and told him about the future war just when he was 6 years old. he kept that in mind and what his life is#for. kanon literally told nero that he's gonna be a necessary pawn in the future lmao?? kanon who had gone through so much could not care#less for some ordinary people ig since he was so detached from emotions... he's straightforward to nero and nero took it pretty well?????#ANYWAY rereading nero.... nero didn't seem to mind dying??????? like what the hell boy????????? he's not freaking out about himself#dying at all. rather he's concerned for the things happening around him and the people worrying about him????#'beatrice saw me and let out a small cry. did i look that bad?' YOU'RE IN A STATE OF DYING. NERO YOU WERE STABBED.#IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF YOUR BODY. A CURSE IS SPREADING IN YOUR BODY. NERO???#'What was i doing/ thinking about things so detachedly when it hurt so much that it felt like i was going to die' YOU😭#he knows he can't die here. he know he have so many things left to do.#this entire time he's fighting through the curse he did not say anything. the only words he uttered was makia's name. his concern for her.#he felt like he can't die without confirming if she's okay. once he knew that she's already he felt relieved that his vision is turning#white. nero what the fuck omg. i know he's been fighting off the curse the best he can and he's getting tired but nero oh my god#be concerned for yourself boy#for ten years he don't value himself as himself but rather someone who is a pawn for this world and the three magicians.#he's well aware of the purpose of his life. he's already set to serve those three magicians specially kanon for saving him and teaching him#various of things. also what was shatoma saying what did she mean#'What? I merely did what i could do for you wou didn't need any help.' what do you mean#first off i wanna point out the way she replied to nero's apology and thanks 'i merely did what i could do for you' i don't know how to#describe it but it feels like she was familiar with him in a fond way?? that added with 'who didn't need any help' she knows what he's#capable of and i think shatoma knows he can overcome it by himself? but my boy is like. gonna pass out. i think she's genuinely worried lol#each magician had something to do this volume- eska had to go find makia and thor and bring them to ulysses#ulysses makia and thor had to release pan faunus while eska puts up the defense. shatoma could've gone with eska or with kanon but no#she went to where the rest were- it's probably to check on the people in the labyrinth.. i want to know if she knew about nero's injuries..#oh that reminds me- shatoma is in lune ruschia's uniform so she's probably in the labyrinth before nero frey and lapis came back#she and eska probably arrived *after* nero makia and frey went out to find lapis#eska goes to find makia and thor while shatoma went in the labyrinth before gt9 came back#🦋'...Kanon? He's going where he needs to go.' in which nero thought 'So Brother's on the move.'........... he knows he knows..#shatoma trust nero enough to know how capable he is.. maybe she even trust him enough to let him know about their plans since he's
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🤔
#ok ok ok#could someone pls tell me why oh WHY#I’m having dreams about someone I haven’t talked to in literally YEARS#yeah I had a crush on him back then#but I swear I was like in middle school#like it was that long ago lmao#but i would go to this New Year’s Eve party with my parents growing up#and of course their friends only had boys#so I was trying to play with them but they were also a few years older than me#so I just remember getting pushed out a lot#but then one of them was super nice and talked to me instead and idk#he was cool#I have NO clue where he is now or what hes up to#I looked him up on Facebook out of curiosity and he hasn’t posted in years#lol so same#but now I’m curious what he’s up to and how he’s doing#especially since this is literally the 3rd dream I’ve had about him in the past fucking week?#so fucking weird man#so so weird#shut up rosie
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