#/ what was he even thinking? it was sigma btw.

[jup1tersparx]

rick rounds autistic and gets away with no one ever picking up on it via pretending all of the autism traits are 1) him being rude on purpose and 2) him just being a REALLY dedicated and stoic leader.

he never makes eye contact with anyone and seems to ignore to half of the things you say when talking to him? yeah he’s locked into that sigma grindset bro he doesnt have time for your bullshit. he refuses to let anyone touch him? oh is he also gonna cry and tell you about his feelings while you’re hugging 🥺🥺🥺? he barely makes any facial expressions, his voice is always monotone and he won’t react at all if you break down crying in front of him? yeah hes hardcore man completely unreadable. he gets really loud and angry and unpredictable when theres a lot of people and noise and lights? yeah hes a fucking wildcard bro you dont wanna mess around near him trust me. we need real men like this leading America forward thank god men are finally being masculine again 🙏🙏🙏 (/s)

[moonrevolutions]

vi's biggest mistake in his life was falling in love with a man from nevada.

[pillsin]

Will this stay in my blog only? I don’t know I just really dislike tumblr, how do I even use this app, it’s scary and the people who draw my favorite characters all only post weird things, I have been jumpscared by odd posts of my favorites enough times I will delete this app and stay in my other socials, weirdos already suck online and it’s worse if I have to witness someone draw it out for me to see considering this is a art based app

[bendyartistic]

Be Aware of alexbstudios. (Part 2) TW: uh.. slur, sui mention.

Recently I've been requested by some people to make another awareness post about Alex, and what has been going on since I made my last callout. So.. let's take a look. I'm gonna be honest I have been paying little to no attention to him at all since my post up until this point, didn't think I'd have to.

Ever since I made it, Alex has been talking about me a lot more, and it feels much more obsessive in a way. I think it's funny but also pretty weird considering some of the things he's said about me. Eugh.

Anyways let's get to the stuff from after my callout to the present. This is just a rundown of everything, and there is some stuff I skipped since I didn't feel it was worth mentioning. Once my post had been made, a lot of people went over and said stuff to him (Though I didn't encourage that behavior, I only wanted to make my post so people knew about him, I'm not covering those unless it's important in this.) Little afterwards he made this... post. Erh, are you stalking me and other people?? ALSO don't say the r slur man, like what.

I find it really creepy that he has this list, and has notes along with them about why/who they are. Also why'd he spell my partners name like that? 💀 Next a little after that he reblogged someone's art and introduction saying this. (I don't want to really @ people in this, nor get anyone involved unless they asked to be.)

I still don't understand how Alex views me, but saying this in a reblog no less is so strange. Reblogging another post, saying this with it...

You're right Alex, I didn't need you in my life, yet here we are. Unfortunately. Besides that, no, 12 year old's should NOT be on Tumblr at all, even with restrictions, said restriction should be having the app blocked from their device.

I'm just gonna.. move on from that. Alex reblogged an art post, where he proceeded to @ over 50 people, myself included, saying "surely you can see the problem". I can't fit the entire thing sadly. I don't get what the point in these posts are honestly, besides annoy everyone. He's done it before as well. He got into a small bit of beef with a handful of folk not too long ago, which I got @'ed in at some point I think, didn't really pay much attention to it. Basically the original post is someone talking about art supplies and asking what one's other people use, which I personally think was a very neat post. Alex comes around though for some reason going off on nonsense. Hello? Who invited you!? (Again, censoring names cuz I don't want to get ppl involved.)

I'm honestly kind of wondering why he even showed up. He pretty soon after made this dumb post as if it could have some effect on the situation.. uh?

I guess mark your calendars guys for this date, where we have to immediately forget everything and forgive him! /j And there's this response he gave to an anon responding to his ✨patience✨ post.

Dunno, so far it hasn't because he's still talking about it, so clearly he hasn't gotten over it enough to let it blow over.

He's giving me those like.. stupid sigma edit vibes sometimes. Y'know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Also I'm not sure what to say about this really, but it's pretty funny.

Context for this next one: You and the person on your lockscreen fight god..? That's a weird one.

Wdym racist though? 🤨 Genuinely kinda curious about that. Btw wouldn't that make you like.. 9?? On a different note, I saw him previously talk about this "friend" he has going to a mental hospital, but I know nothing about it, nor do I really want to, however reblogging on an art post saying this feels off. Think the emotes are what do it.

Don't joke about mental hospitals at all, I shouldn't have to explain why. I'm going to move on from all the short stuff now because I do wanna start talking instead of making short joking comments.

Alex made this post, and so it begins with him talking about me again, eh?

Alex, you're already doomed. I can't put it any other way but from what I've seen maybe only 1 or 2 people even like you. The rest either hate you or want to avoid you at all cost, and I don't blame them at all considering you act like a fool and make everyone uncomfortable.

For my thoughts on you? I don't like you, never did. I just have to put up with you because this is the internet, and you'll probably never truly leave me alone like I once hoped. It's a shame honestly that you cannot follow a simple request from anyone. Don't think I don't know about your planned "response post" you're making, I'm still waiting for it. I don't know what good it's gonna do you though. Personally I don't care if you make one, I'd just read it to see the stuff you make up in it lol. (Edit: He decided to stop working on it after seeing this post lol.)

Enough of my rambling, I should continue with this so I can stop talking about him sooner. Regrettably I had to actually look up what this was about, I felt.. iffy reading it.

Saying gyatt right afterwards wasn't funny. At all. I'm quite upset now. There was absolutely no reason for that.

I was gonna be reasonable and say something genuine but I don't feel like it anymore, this ruined my mood. All I have to say is as much as I dislike you, don't actually do that. Sadly moving to the next nonsensical thing, he made a poll post asking this. (It's still ongoing btw)

Are people like.. forced into giving a reason? Like if I for example chose Bendy, am I immediately supposed to state my reasons? What if I don't want to, are we being held at gunpoint? What's up with that? I'm too lazy to interact with the post, I don't really feel like it anyways even if I wasn't lazy. Which one would you choose though lol I'm going to be serious now again cause this last thing is really just.. what the fuck. Palestine related 🍉, someone asking for help came to Alex, and this was his response to it...

MY GOD Alex. Did you really have to respond to that in this immature, insensitive fucking manner? Could it have not been in one of your stupid rambling posts. It should've been. I'm sorry to the person and I'm sorry I had to read it. You're pretty sick honestly. You need help.

That's it. I'm done.

In conclusion:

Alex is still the same and is still never going to change probably. He still shouldn't be here and I believe he really should get off now more than ever. If not I fear what else he might do next.

All I can really tell you folks is please, DNI with Alex, just leave him alone and block him. You're again not obligated to, but I am suggesting it if you want to be left alone by him. And hey, maybe you'll make it onto his dumb creepy list too, who knows. Alright, I'm finished, I stayed up way too late for this... I'm tired. Cya.

Reblogs are much appreciated, it helps spread the word, thanks.

[glitch-karma]

Can I request another part of your "forgetful reader" headcanons you did but with Jouno, Fyodor, and Ranpo? Nikolai too if that's not too many characters, but dont worry about him if it is. Same prompt but with these characters

I was actually just thinking about my forgetful reader hc's the other day, Idk if other writers do this but I always go back and read my older stuff lmao

So here's part two, I had a bit of trouble figuring out what Nikolai would give his partner as a gift, so that isn't specified, I did add Chuuya and Sigma though

Cw: Degradation/name calling in Jouno's, Slightly spicy in Fyodor's, Kinda OOC Fyodor

Jouno

Low-key high-key an asshole

Don't get me wrong I'm in love with him,

But his love language is degradation (hot)

Jouno constantly is making fun of and being rude about how forgetful you are

If it seriously bothers you, he'll try his best to lay off as much as possible

Only because it's you though

He does get very irritated though

He got you a lovely set of earrings that resembled his a bit

They were honestly very nice and semi-expensive

You had always kept them in a tiny jewelry box on your nightstand

But after a rough day of trying to catch terrorists, you'd clumsily taken them off and fallen asleep

When you were getting ready for work the next morning, you realized they'd gone missing

In a panic, you tore apart your apparent in search of them

After a while, you heard a voice that made you wanna puke

"What's up with you huh? Why's my little troublemaker so frantic?"

Oh my lord no

"What are you talking about.?"

"Oh please, your heartbeat is a dead giveaway. Along with the shakiness in your voice. Can't hide from me y'know."

You shakily sighed as you admitted you'd lost the earrings

"Pft- are you kidding?"

He laughed slightly walking towards you

"How pathetic of you, losing a gift from your precious boyfriend?" He sighs in 'frustration'

"They were expensive too, do you even have a concept of money?" He laughs,

At this point, small drops of tears filled your eyes slowly as he kept poking fun at you

"Honestly how air-headed can you get? Tsk, should I be questioning this relationship?"

After a few seconds of silence, Jouno tensed as he heard your quiet whimpers.

He'd gone too far.

For a second, he didn't really know what to do

He sighed, bending down next to you and wrapping his arm around you.

"'m sorry." He mumbled lightly

You sniffled a bit, you looked up to see the concerned frown on his face, along with the softness that was rare for you to see in him

After a moment you sighed, leaning into his shoulder

"I'll get you a million more pairs if it means I don't have to hear you cry again. Truly."

He really was a good man, he just had some issues showing it.

But in the meantime, he'll let you teach him how to open up

I literally love him so much even if he's a dick head

Fyodor

He kinda just doesn't care-

I don't see him as the type to really mind stuff like that in a partner

But I don't really see him doing anything to help per se

He'll give you light reassurance if you're upset, but I don't see him doing too much more though

Surprisingly, he didn't buy you a country

He got you a necklace that was very clearly expensive, it had a key attached to it that was also made of some metal that did not look cheap, along with the small Diamonds and sapphires lacing the key (Real btw you tested it)

It was extravagantly expensive, and he made sure you knew that was less than you deserved (He couldn't find countries on the market)

Wow what a nice gift

Now where the hell did it go?

You, of course, retraced every step

Your apartment? Cleaned vigorously to search and find it

The cafe by your house? You paid every worker to search for it

The Doa office? A wreck

You were ass up on the floor looking under one of the couches when you heard a whistle behind you

When you tuned you saw the man you were scared to see

"Why might you be in such a comprehensive pose my paradox?"

You shakily sighed as you hit your head on the floor

Fyodor then quickly determined why you were on the floor by the necklace missing from your neck

He chuckled a bit as he walked towards you

He leaned down and picked you up, silencing you as he carried you to a basement you were unaware of

Before you could question, he pulled out the necklace, inserted the key into a large door, opening it to reveal a giant glorious room filled with all your favorite things, comfortable chairs, and a giant kitchen

As he set you down you started freaking out

"It's not quite done yet, I wasn't intending for you to lose it so fast. I'll get some help in here as well."

"You- This was all a plan for me?"

You yelled, running around and looking at everything

He chuckled as he grabbed you, leaning down and kissing your neck

"Жизнь моя,(1) you deserve this and more.."

He then threw you on the couch, hitting a button that shut all the doors and windows

"And tonight, I'll prove it to you."

Let's just say, you had trouble walking for awhile

(1) Жизнь моя, pronounced "Zhizn’ moya", means “my life” in Russian and is usually a term of endearment

Sigma

Oh my lord he is so understanding it's crazy

Although Sigma is the furthest thing from forgetful, his brain and schedule will always have room for stuff you need to remember

Got a doctor's appointment you forgot? He remembers and brings you to it

Forgot where you put something important? He knows where it is

Forgot to eat? He'll make you a meal himself

Forgot to meet up with a client? He'll meet them for you

Honestly, he gives you royalty treatment

He loves just giving you gifts in general, so he custom-made you an obsidian necklace that had a poker chip on it, The obsidian in his words was to represent how strong you are, and the poker chip was to remind you of him

It was one of the most thoughtful gifts ever

And you'd lost it

You debated just asking him at first,

But no. Too embarrassing

You'd worn it every day and now POOF

GONE?!

You didn't wanna worry your already busy partner with this

So you tore apart your half of the room before neatly searching through Sigma's half of the room

3 hours later and nothing.

For a second you debated throwing yourself off the sky casino

But then the click of your bedroom door was heard

"Oh my-"

You slowly looked up to see Sigma's confused face as he looked at your side of the room

For a while, he was silent in thought

"Are you.. redecorating-"

You groaned as you fell the rest of the way down on the floor

"I lost your necklace.. I didn't wanna ask you for help."

Sigma chuckles a bit as you look up at him

"That was actually my mistake"

Before you could ask, he walked over to his dresser and opened a small box, pulling it back out

"You'd accidentally left it in the bathroom"

Wow

The one place you didn't check

Definitely cuddles after though

Nikolai

He would not give zero shit's

He just loves you

He might make fun of you a bit, but he honestly just thinks you're adorable when you lose stuff

He asks Fyodor to buy you new things when you lose them rather than look for them-

He has such admiration and genuine interest in you that he gets you gifts tailored exactly to your interests

If you lose a gift from him, he honestly won't be mad

"Awe my Kindred Spirit,"

He grabs his cloak and reaches in, pulling out something even better

"Here does this make it better!?"

"Nikolai!"

He dances around the room with you to celebrate you being happy again

Ranpo

Oh he teases you, shame on you if you think he wouldn't

He gently teases you though, stopping if he gets even a slight hint it upsets you

Ranpo does have amazing patience though, there has never been a moment your forgetfulness has annoyed or bothered him once

He regularly gives you snacks as gifts, but he gave you a silly little necklace with a duck charm (Yes this is a Wan ref)

It was silly and cheap, but it was sweet

When you lost it you were crushed

You looked for it but could not find it

In the morning you went to the agency to try to search for it, but on your way there you actually met with Ranpo at a sweet store

"Hey there detective darlin'!"

He yelled as he ran out of the store

For internally freaked out a bit as he started excitedly telling you about the sale in the store

You chuckled nervously, making him immediately deduce what happened

"Ohhhhh, I see. You lost the Necklace!"

You kinda expected him to figure it out

He then chuckled as he walked over to a small quarter vending machine and pointed at the prizes

"Ya see! We can just keep playing till we get a new one!"

You two then had a small date of finding quarters and playing the Machine till you had a bag full of prizes, and a new duck necklace of course

Chuuya

Although Chuuya is a very understanding person, I can't deny this wouldn't slightly annoy him

He would never make fun of you for it, or make you feel bad though

He will always express that he's not mad at you and does his best to hide his slight frustration

He does understand though, I mean the man didn't remember the first 8 years of his life for years so

He is a little protective of you though. if anyone gave you shit for forgetting something he would a million percent throw hands

He leaves notes all over the house and your hands about important things, he will also text you to remind you about meals throughout the day

"Have you drank water"

"Ah, fuck-"

"Exactly"

Chuuya loves spending money on you

It's his favorite activity

You already have 20 custom-tailored outfits cause of his love for fashion,

But that doesn't mean he can't get you more tailored accessories

One of them was an anklet that had his and your initials in it, along with diamonds and your favorite stone

It was cute, although it was easily hidden by clothes, you wore it very often

You had on the perfect outfit to show it off that day, but when you opened up the cabinet you kept it in, it was gone.

Oh fuck

Panic ensues

The sheets were torn off your bed, and your closet full of clothes from him was searched from top to bottom

The bathroom was also searched along with Chuuya's half of the room

You sighed as you fixed the house, knowing Chuuya hates messes

You then reluctantly called him

"Hey, still at work but what's up doll?"

The softness in his voice made you tear up a bit in guilt

"Chuuya.. I-"

You took a pause to breathe

"I lost the Anklet you gave me."

You heard him gratefully sigh and shuffle in his chair a bit

"That pause made me think you were in trouble"

He joked a bit

"I can buy 20 more of those if I wanted to Sweetheart."

You sniffled a bit

"But that was important!"

He paused a bit

"Are you crying?"

You then paused

"No.."

"Baby."

You could hear him then walk through the halls of the Port Mafia building

"Give me just one sec, "

You heard him then knock on a door and open it

"Hey boss, I need to head home early. Let me know Tomorrow if there's anything else you need me for"

"Alright, I'm on my way home. We'll search together, okay?"

You sniffled a little as you smiled

"You're the best."

"Anything for you Angel."

[fyxestroll]

Ranking primarchs based on how well they'd react if you spoke brain rot to them

20. Unnamed Primarchs II and XI - lost so much aura they dissapeared from existence

19. Konrad Curze - how did you even get close to this man to say skibidi?? why of all things did you say skibidi???

18. Angron - words like skibidi, sigma, aura, beta and mog have the same effect on him as the Nails and honestly its understandable

17. Perturabo - would look you dead in the eye because this man is a bit of a piss baby and this is him in a good mood. him in a bad mood involves an object or two being thrown and him looking like you like an angry bull.

16. Mortarion - he won't harm you but he'd harm everyone mentally by embracing the brainrot. he's gonna believe you're sick like blessed by nurgle's sick. he's going to (unwillingly) spread the grandfather's 'gifts' and brainrot has now become a good part of his vocabulary.

brainrot = exclusive tzeenth x nurgle collab (confirmed)

15. Lion - will just stare at you dead in the eye. you will never speak brainrot again.

14. Rogal Dorn - will also stare at you dead in the eye AND call you out on the stupidity of brainrot. you'll never speak brainrot again AND probably have emotional damage from the verbal shaming.

13. Lorgar - none of these words are in his bible please stop.

12. Horus - congratulations horus has now embraced the brainrot. he uses it in the hello-fellow-kids way and it works. he's now very popular to all the sigmas of the cosmos

11. Magnus the Red - asked 'what is skibidi?' like the scholar he is. has also embraced the brain rot. can now do all his psyker bs in brainrot. is fully caught up on skibidi toilet lore. he's watched all 77 episodes.

10. Corvus Corax - has embraced the brainrot and no one even knows. you think your brainrot can freak him out? he's been mogging you the whole time. you've been outfreaked

9. Fulgrim - Thinks its stupid but as an artist he can appreciate the unique creativity of skibidi toilet. give him time he'll eventually embrace the brainrot unwillingly. will openly curse if he ever says the word skibidi

8. Jangatai Khan - passes it off as normal slang and goes on with his life. will eventually pick up on the concept of mewing.

7. Guilliman - speaks a FULL brainrot sentence back and goes back to whatever he was doing. this happens one on one so no one will ever believe that you've ever witnessed such a thing.

6. Leman Russ - embraces the brainrot. unironically mogs his sons and enemies

5. Sanguinius - smiles and nods. he doesn't really get it but he can join in on the brainrot.

4. Omegon - was the one who spread the brainrot

3. Alpharius - are we sure it was megon who spread the brainrot?

2. Ferrus Mannus - Thinks saying skibidi is very fun to say. Its become part of his vocabulary now, will say what the skibidi or what the sigma.

1. Vulkan - Oh you think he's a sigma? Why yes he is! And so are you! Will match your freak but wouldn't pick up the vocabulary. becomes THE mogger btw. infinite aura and the roundest gyatt in the galaxy

[queer-n-here]

I just read the akutagawa fic someone requested so I wanted to request smth similar if that's cool!

Sigma comes home with an attitude after getting all stressed at work so we cockwarm him

Take ur time btw ik you're prolly stressed w school and stuff 🙏

Gah, brother! Ittookmeashittonofwhiletogetthispieceoutimsosorryireallyreallyreallytriedveryhard-

*clears throat* I... *Sigh* I'm sorry it took me so much time to get this out. But I'm really proud of myself for finally finishing this, ngl. Hope you like it, and thank you for being patient.

Contents: Making Sigma cockwarm reader.

Warnings: Smut, Top male reader, cockwarming. Think that's about it.

Sigma was more than just irritated.

He was tired and annoyed; there was a dull ache in his head and his body was too heavy for his legs.

So when you pressed your signature soft kiss to his temple, and asked him if he remembered the date you'd planned for him, he snapped a little too ferociously.

"[Name], I can't go today, okay?" He said, his brows furrowed. "There's too much on my mind and I don't have time for stuff like that anymore."

A part of you was hurt by that. 'I don't have time,' You'd always thought he enjoyed your dates.

But you pushed it to the back of your brain.

About an hour later, Sigma was more than regretting the way he'd talked back.

You were fully clothed; just your pants were unzipped so your cock could be buried in him as it was, nestled between his walls all warm and snug, but achingly stationary. You were pretending as if everything were perfectly normal, scrolling through your phone and blatantly ignoring Sigma, who was sitting in your lap straddling you, naked.

He was starting to grow desperate; he wanted you to fuck him the way you always did, aiming at his sweet spot with the accuracy of a professional archer. He needed it. But you weren't listening to him at all.

"[Name]," Sigma said, voice slightly unsteady as his hands clutched at the fabric of your shirt. "[Name], please..."

"Hmm?" You raised an eyebrow, not quite looking up from your phone.

"Don't do this, please..." He looked up at you with those teary eyes of his. "I need you."

You glanced at him, the sight of his gaze making you almost give in. You sighed, putting the phone down and looking at him fully. "Need me? I thought you had too much on your mind and not enough time."

Sigma looked slightly hurt, but then he buried his face into the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around your neck. "I'm sorry."

A sob shook his shoulders, and you felt tears drip onto yours. You sighed again, and put an arm around him.

"I can't take it anymore," He mumbled.

"Fine," You said. How were you supposed to remain firm when your love was crying? "But you're gonna have to do it yourself."

Sigma pulled away to look at you, cheeks red. "What do you...?"

You put your phone away, and turned to look at him again. "I'm not really feeling like doing anything, to be honest. And since you want it so much, you can do it for yourself."

With these words you sat back against the couch, looking up at him as he contemplated your suggestion. Sigma had never ridden you before; it was usually just you doing nasty stuff to him that made his eyes water and brain fog up.

But times were desperate, and you did not look like you were gonna cave in soon, so he nodded.

"Okay," He murmured, eyes downcast.

"Perfect," You said.

And so he started moving, grinding down on your cock slowly as his fingers tightened around your shirt. He bit his lips trying to muffle the moans he knew would start to spill out soon. His whole was fluttering around your cock already, his own dick twitching with want.

It was almost painful for you to not move, to not flip the two of you around and pin Sigma against the couch beneath you and fuck him till he was screaming. Gods, and he didn't even know the effect he had on you.

"Come on," You caressed his waist softly, stomach taught and shoulders tense with your restraint. "You can go faster, can't you?"

Sigma nodded, and sped up slightly. He was still shy, unable to make eye contact with you and with a stiff blush across his face. His eyes were tearing up slightly, and no amount of biting his lips was keeping in the ah-ah-ahs that spilled from his mouth as he bounced on your cock.

You could feel your dick twitching with want and restraint inside him. Your breathing had grown laboured, and you couldn't help but lean forwards and kiss Sigma slightly harshly.

He moaned into it, hole clenching around your cock and eyelids fluttering shut as a tear rolled down his cheek. You bit and nibbled so hard at his lips that he had to pull away to stop you.

"Don't- nghh! Don't b-bite so hard," He panted.

"Hmm," You grabbed his love handles, mediating his pace. "Don't you like it?"

Sigma flushed, burying his face into the crook of your shoulder as you made him bounce wilder on your cock. When you hit his prostrate, he whimpered, clutching your shoulders so hard his short nails dug into your skin.

So you hit it again and again, your hips snapping up to thrust your tip against his sweet spot, making him start to whine from the feeling. His own hips were bouncing to meet your thrusts half-way, and the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin that echoed through the room was making you restless.

You decided, fuck the punishment, you needed Sigma.

Flipping yourselves around so that Sigma was laying on the couch and you were on top of him, you pressed his pretty legs to his chest and fucked him, bullying his sweet spot and abusing his hole as he cried out underneath you.

Your pace was destructive and brutal, sending Sigma scrambling to find purchase as his chest heaved with each breath. You could tell from his blurred-up eyes that his brain was starting to cloud, his hands clutching your shoulders so tight his nails had managed to draw blood from your skin.

Soon, his thighs started trembling violently, his hole clenching around you in the way that it did when he was close. You smirked, teeth-half gritted against your arousal, and sped up.

Sigma cried out, cum shooting from his dick as a sound of pleasure ripped itself free from his throat, his hole so tight around you it was almost impossible to pull out and thrust in.

You weren't far behind, what with him so tight around your dick it was making you see stars. The white hot coil in your intestines snapped, and you painted Sigma's walls white.

Slowing down to a stop, you huffed to catch your breath, eyes landing on him.

He was out of breath and dazed, quite obviously in subspace. You pulled out of him, earning a small whimper from him, and placed a small kiss on his forehead.

It didn't take long to get a bath ready for Sigma, and you soon carried him to it from the couch. As you set him down in the water, he reached out to hold onto you.

"[Name]..." He murmured, perhaps already out of subspace.

"Hm?" You stroked his hair gently.

"Something's bothering you, right?" He looked up at you, voice quiet. "You looked weird earlier."

You sat down on the floor next to him outside the bath. "Earlier when?"

"When I said..." Sigma bit his lip. "When I said that mean stuff."

You smiled softly, even as the memory made you want to wince. "Hmm, yeah. It did hurt a little, honestly."

Sigma lowered his head, pouting slightly. "I'm sorry. I was just upset because of-"

"Because of something that happened at work, right?" You finished for him, nodding. "I know, that's why I didn't say anything."

He bit his lip. "I'm sorry."

You smiled at him again, leaning forwards to kiss his temple. "It's alright. But next time..." You paused. "If you don't want to go out somewhere with me, just say so."

"No!" Sigma sat up straight, looking at you with his wide eyes. "I like going to places with you. I didn't really mean it, I swear."

You looked at him, and this time the smile that tugged at your lips was automatic. "Really?"

"Yeah," He nodded furiously. "I really like spending time with you."

You chuckled softly. "Mn, good to hear."

[supernova41st]

What about the mercs with a fem SO that talks in brainrot sometimes? Would really want medic in there but it's up to you!

Mercs x Brainrot!Reader

A/n: WHY IS THE TF2 FANDOM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS IDEA? 😭 I SAW ANOTHER FIC ABT THIS AND TWO REQUESTS ASKING FOR THIS PLS

warnings: Brainrot.. a lot of images being used, it’s a shit post who cares tbh

Scout

He’s into it too

Guys it’s scout

“Scout ilysm ur so nonchalant <33”

“Thanks babe ^^ I know I’m pretty alpha”

(Oh btw the alpha thing isn’t a joke he unironically listens to alpha male podcasts)

In the middle of spy’s serious moments you’d both lip sync ‘you are my sunshine’ to each other when he’s not looking

“what the bloody hell are you guys doing..”

“…perhaps itz a coping mechanizm zince scout doesn’t have a father?”

Medic really had to take it there

The ‘fatherless child’ meme was a coping mechanism for him tho

“I’m a fatherless child, of course I have abandonment issues”

“Um babe? Idk if you should joke abt that 😚”

“Na it just makes me more sigma”

You guys love to fuck with the blu team sm with your shenanigans, esp sniper!!

Scout would have his bat and you would have whatever weapon you have with you and yell “skibidi” before jumping him

Here’s something he DEFINITELY didn’t learn from you 💯

creds to urwhouchoose2b on Tik tok

Engineer

He tries so hard to understand

Whenever you show him a meme he does the classic old person holding phone away from eyes thing

Yk the

“Ok so this is the ‘im nothing like y’all’ fish”

“alrighty, and this is..?”

“Oh that’s the Freddy five bear meme, see it’s funny cuz his name is actually ‘Freddy fazbear’ but they got his name wrong so like.. yeah”

“…I’m not sure what I’m ‘posed to say ‘bout this, but I think you belong in a looney bin”

Once he had a project that had the word “alpha” in it and he hated mentioning it to you cuz yk

“giggle”

“…what?”

“Skibidi alpha”

“What??”

Demo man

HE LOVES IT LMFAOO

he’s so energetic esp when he’s drunk so he’s happy to have someone he can share that energy with

Y’all know that “Scotland forever” meme

Well you screamed it after another victory as a joke, but when demo heard it he was confused but also excited?

“SCOTLAND FOREVAA”

“OH? ALRIGHT THEN, SCOTLAND FOREVER 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿”

cut to him butt chugging beers

Demo doesn’t get it but he has the spirit

He’ll be right there replicating the TikTok audios after taking the point

Dude is drunk 99% of the time so he’s never bothered to ask what any of this means, he’s just in it for the fun

Once you dragged him to the bathroom since he drake too many beers (shocker) but he didn’t want to do it in the toilet cuz he didn’t want to ‘hurt his dear skibidi’

“Cmon demo you have to puke it out!!”

“Noo, take me to the jawbox I don’t wanna hert me skibidi toilet”

“Oh god what have I done”

I think you rotted his brain a little too much

Spy

Don’t even get him started.

He’s so sick of your antics it’s not even funny

“Guys we all have to remember that it’s not about the money.. it’s about the skibidi.”

Passionately grabs spy’s shoulder

“How have you made it this far in life”

Unlike engie, he really doesn’t want to know about it

Especially during missions

“lol spy you’re so devious ASF”

“shhh, enough blabbering!!”

“You are not carti 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️❌‼️‼️‼️”

You make fun of him a bunch, he can’t think of a single moment where you took him seriously

“Y/n get off the cart!!”

“If we were in Fortnite I’d have higher ground + double pump.”

[decepti-thots]

Sometimes I have to remind myself that a lot of people in fact have not read/skipped the prose stories in IDW, so for what it's worth, I think any discussion of pre-Overlord Drift-Rodimus dynamics needs to consider this specific scene from the post-RiL one. I am passionate enough about this I'm putting it below the cut, though I have the whole story hosted here btw. It establishes a few really important things, IMO:

What I just discussed regarding Rodimus having voluntarily brought Overlord onto the ship, against Drift's wishes

Him attempting to prevent Drift from taking the fall because he knows it's his fault, and Drift being the one to tell him no about this

The revelation Drift was keeping his motivation for putting Rodimus in charge a secret from Rodimus, which he only explains before leaving

Drift being clear he did not take the fall to help Rodimus per se, but because he considers it the necessary thing to do as per his vision, which is ultimately the most important thing to him period

That's a LOT of stuff without which the dynamic does not read at all the same way going forward, IMO. Basically any discussion of those two in s1 should really take it into consideration in terms of both sides' motivations, especially regarding Drift's motivations in keeping Rodimus content and in charge no matter what he said or did, and Rodimus' relative ignorance of said motivations.

****

As Rodimus stepped into his office he shielded his eyes—literally put his hand to his face—to avoid catching sight of the flames he’d had painted around the doorframe. As soon as he’d sorted out the current mess he’d ask Atomizer to help him redecorate. No more fire-rimmed entrances, garish pink walls or self-aggrandizing plaques: just a desk, a chair, some subdued lighting and a memorial to crewmembers killed by sparkeater, Legislator, or Overlord.

Overlord.

When his guard was down—when he wasn’t showing off or doodling or spray-painting—the name made him think of the people who had died or lost loved ones because he’d been too scared to say no to Prowl. Overlord made him think of Pipes and Rewind and Chromedome and Lockstock and Lancet, but one face—Drift’s face—kept crowding out all the others. It had been here, in his office, that they’d had their last proper conversation.

“An inquiry?” Drift stood in the doorway, looking incredulous. “An inquiry?”

Rodimus dragged him inside and locked the door. “I had to do something! People were asking questions! And what do you do if you want to stall things? You launch an inquiry.” He slumped into his chair. “An inquiry into something I’m responsible for. Oh god. Oh god, I feel sick. I’ve messed up big time.”

“I can sort this out, Rodimus. Honestly, I can fix this.”

“This is my fault, not yours. We were standing in Prowl’s office, and he was trying to convince me that bringing Overlord onboard was ‘right and proper’, and you called me an idiot for even considering it.”

“Was I that blunt?”

“I don’t know why he even let you in on those discussions in the first place. It’s not like he trusts you.”

“I’ll tell you exactly why he wanted me there: it was in case something like this happened. Need a scapegoat? Get an ex-Decepticon.”

“Well it’s not gonna happen. I’m taking the fall for this one. Your name doesn’t have to come into it. It’s taken you years to win back people’s trust, and you’re not throwing it all away on my behalf.”

“Rodimus, if you tell the crew what you’ve done, then that’s it. The quest’s over. We’ll never find the Knights.”

“No, it just means someone else will take over. You, maybe? Ratchet? I dunno. Someone.”

“But someone doesn’t take over!” Rodimus looked up sharply. “’Doesn’t’?”

“Won’t.”

“You said ‘doesn’t.’ What d’you mean, ‘doesn’t’?”

“It’s hard to explain what I mean.” Drift unclipped his Great Sword and placed it on the desk. “You remember when I nearly died, back on Cybertron? I was within feet of Vector Sigma.”

“Yes…” said Rodimus slowly, unsure where this was going.

“When I put this sword through my spark, I saw something.”

“What, like a vision?”

“Kind of. More a sense of how things would play out. It was abstract and it was fleeting, and every time I call it to mind it becomes harder to interpret, but something is around the corner, Rodimus—and a year from now, or 50 years from now, that something will arrive, and we won’t be able to stop it unless we find the Knights. And I don’t care if you think, ‘Oh, that’s just Drift being Drift,’ because I’m convinced that you need to remain in charge. People can come and go—they can die—but you have to be here, otherwise we will fail. And so the simple solution—the only solution—is that I take the blame for this.”

“I won’t let you do this for me.”

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for everyone else.”

[yurislotusgarden]

Hiii lotuss!!<3 i love ur works they are so cute it makes my empty heart fill up w joy 💔💔

Can i request prompt 6 w chu, dazai and sigma w fem reader? If thats okay ofc!<3

Btw remember to take breaks and eat, drink and sleep well! :D

-💞 anon

ʚїɞ Separately! Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya and Sigma x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ The event

ʚїɞ word count: 1k

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, pet names are used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way

ʚїɞ Hi 💞 anon! Thank you for the words, nice to know someone enjoys my works like that <3

Sun rays fell into the warm room, a comfortable silence and atmosphere, a feeling it would be a good day the moment you woke up.

You would call it a perfect Saturday for a day out, and getting up early to start to start your day while the sun has been up for not too long, and you would do so if it wasn't for a specific brown-haired koala clinging to your waist from behind. Really, was it too much to wish for him to be asleep when you wake up? Getting out of his grip is certainly easier when he's asleep than when he's fully conscious.

"Where do you think you're going, Bella?" But truth be told, his morning voice may make up for the inconvenience if you were to not lie to yourself. "It's too early!~" 

And here comes the quiet whining from the other adult.

"We both have work, Samu. We need to be at the agency in less than an hour so-"

"So it's plenty of time to stay in bed and cuddle with me!"

"I would rather be on time so that Kunikida doesn’t scold us for being late."

"He will scold us for something anyway. What's the difference?"

“I-”

You didn't have an answer to that one. To be fair, that's not exactly a lie, that Man can find any reason to scold a person.

“Cat got your tongue?”

“...”

“Who am I asking? Of course, you don't have an answer when all I'm saying is the truth!~”

You love seeing Dazai happy, don't get it wrong, but this was one of the times when you just wanted to punch that grin off his face-

“Honey.”

“Hmm?” He really thought he won if his face was anything to go by.

“*I love you but we need to get up*”

A displeased groan came from the man and you had thought you won when-

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean no, you wanna hear it in French? ✨Non✨”

You're so done with this man, and you still had to deal with Kunikida’s scolding later.

4 hours.

4 hours is the amount of extra time spent in bed by you, wanting to just stay in bed with your boyfriend as he had a whole day off for once. While it was lovely to have more time with Chuuya than usual, it was already 2 p.m. by that point, way past the time when you should’ve gotten up.

“Chu?”

The question was asked in a quiet voice, in case he fell asleep again since the last time the both of you uttered a word.

A hum was a response enough for you to know he’s at least conscious enough to have some sort of a conversation with him. Gently running your nails through his hair, you quietly asked “Don’t you think it’s time to get up?”

A quiet groan came from the man. 

“Nuh-uh”

“Honey.”

“Nooo…” His voice showed just how close to sleeping he was before you spoke up.

“We need to get up-”

“I refuse the offer, now go back to sleep.” But now he seems fully awake? Motherfucker.

“It wasn’t an offer- and it’s 2 p.m.”

Is it even worth trying to argue?

“Do I look like I care about the hour, love?”

“Chuuya!”

“Not changing my mind.”

No, absolutely not.

“I will change your damn mind when I-”

Soft lips were planted on yours for a few seconds to shut you up before pulling away. The ginger head raised his head to kiss you just to shut you up.

“Shush and don’t try to get up, we both know you won’t manage that if I don’t let you.”

But you will always try to argue anyway.

“Fuck you.”

“Gladly.”

He will never get bored of that blossom hue appearing on your cheeks. Never.

Sleeping in the middle of a million blankets may have not been the best idea.

Sigma has been overworking for the past 2 weeks as per usual and you decided that he needs a good rest, resulting in wrapping you both up in any blanket you found lying around. It was comfortable as hell, yeah, but the bi-colored-haired man had been asked to come down to the Casino for something and yet still didn't get up. Is it really your boyfriend or is it some imposter because you thought you would never see him ignoring anything related to his Casino.

You decided to speak as yet another message went unanswered. “Cotton?”

A sleepy murmur of “Yeah?” made it clear he was listening.

“You need to get up.”

“But I don’t wanna.”

A sigh came from you, and another buzz from his phone could be heard. You were pretty sure that by now around 60 different messages could be seen on the screen unanswered. Of course, that was the number of messages that came after he read the first one asking for him in the first place.

“Sigma.”

One word, and yet his head shot up from the pillow right away. You don’t use his name often, especially in that tone. “Did I do something?”

“Sigma.”

“What?” He was genuinely confused, was he that tired that he didn’t even realize what that message earlier really said?

“Cotton-” You were hoping to calm him down by not using his name anymore. “Listen, I love you, but we, especially you, need to get up.”

“Why?”

“Look at your phone.”

“Okay?”

Let’s just say that the moment his brain processed the 80 messages on his phone, he got out of bed with, what you would say was his record speed, literally speedrunned getting ready you had to help him with his hair and tie because this man would go out in bed hair and very badly tied tie and you managed to get him to take a snack with him since he didn’t eat anything yet.

Some of his workers found out it was you who got him out of bed and thanked you.

You did not answer Sigma’s question when he asked where you got all the sweets from later that night.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

[transmascaraa]

!400 follower special!

cuddling. (collab with @mariaace !!)

characters: the DOA and some members of the ADA x gn!reader

author's note: HIIII so decided to do a collab for this 400 special(this is also maria's 100 special) whereas i'll make cuddling hcs for the doa and the ada, whilst you can find the hcs for the pm and the hunting dogs on her blog😋 i hope you like it either way<3 (THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR 400 BTW I CAN'T THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH)

☆ The DOA

Bram •

-so first of all he would be very nice to cuddle with.

-like he's just the perfect someone to cuddle, plus, it's usually very peaceful.

-you'd be reading a book or something while he would either read it with you, or be fast asleep.

-ofc, it might take some time to convince him to cuddle with you, but after he accepts, there's no turning back, you will be too comfortable.

-another random hc is that he LOVES it when YOU braid his hair or just play with it while you're hugging eachother close cuz his hair is perfect for that.(he's not gonna show it too much tho)

-and also definitely loves complaining to you while cuddling.

-AND it's definitely an everyday thing.

-you're lucky you got him<3

LIVE laugh love bram

Fyodor •

-uhhhh so how do i explain his part........

-once you get the chance to cuddle him, you'll definitely feel comfortable, sure.

-but i'm pretty sure anemia makes your hands ice cold since it's the lack of iron in question.

-it might take a bit for you go get to that comfy state tho BECAUSE of his cold hands

-only if you have a problem with them ofc

-otherwise it may not be that bad!

-but first and foremost the only thing he would probably allow you to do while cuddling him was to read a book.

-with him, or without him, it doesn't matter. just read one.

-he'll deny it, but he finds it adorable when you mumble the words as you read.

it's just a calming experience as a whole

Nikolai •

-the silly little clown guy is a menace when it comes to cuddling(he's a menace even when he's not cuddling w you)

-if you want to do ANYTHING other than keep all of your attention on him, that won't be possible.

-want to read a book? no, he's already taken it away from you and closed it.

-want to scroll on your phone? no, he's already turned it off.

-want to sleep in peace? no, he's ranting about random things which you have no idea what they are in the first place.

-when he does manage to fall asleep, don't just go to sleep immediately, take a bit of time to look at the difference between awake and asleep nikolai.

-one is hyperactive, clingy, sometimes very annoying, but the other one is calm and at peace.

he loves it when you (un)braid his hair for him btw and/or play with it

Sigma •

-he's truly adorable.

-when you ask him the question to cuddle at first, he may be a bit flustered, but it will pass soon and then you'll just kind of already be cuddling

-again, a really calming experience.

-you can do anything like that while cuddling him, you just feel so safe and happy with him holding you so close like that.

-had a good day? rant to him about it and he'll listen.

-had a bad day? vent to him and he'll do his best to comfort you.

-you're the only person who's allowed to touch his hair, and play with it as well ofc

-he wants you to be happy and he's glad you chose him the first place^^

boyfriend material

✯ The ADA

Dazai •

-okayyyy so where do i start

-he loves cuddling you

-in fact, he ADORES it.

-so as soon as he gets the chance to cuddle you, he's not leaving you alone

-you might even need to go somewhere urgently but he won't let you

-he's gonna ramble to you about random things hoping you forget about wherever you're supposed to go to

-he kinda fails but you still don't show up to work on time(sometimes not at all)

-that's just dazai so you'll have to get used to it

-or like maybe think of a new way to distract him from you(it's not gonna work)

good luck is all i can say

Kunikida •

-hmmm

-hard to explain maybe??

-you see, basically, he likes to cuddle you cuz ofc he's your bf/husband and all

-but you rarely get to cuddle him ar all

-either he has some random work he has to do

-or he just won't admit that he WANTS to cuddle you so you'll end up not cuddling at all

-on the other hand, when you DO get to cuddle, it's a relaxing experience for him

-probably for you too

-it would be peaceful because either he's so flustered to talk or the two of you are just too much at peace in that moment

-it's really calming tho

he'll sometimes mumble random math teacher phrases while he's sleeping

Ranpo •

-10/10.

-is gonna cuddle you whenever he can and whenever you want to since he's up for it ALWAYS

-hugging you really tight definitely throughout the whole thing

-most of the time he's gonna bring some sweets/candy with himself so you usually end up eating anything and everything sweet you have in your house when cuddling him

-he's gonna hum lullabies to you if it helps you fall asleep faster<3

-WILL play with you hair and he likes it when you play with his in return

-the cuddling experience will be very fun and interesting, usually full of laughs^^

-basically it's never boring with him

i totally recommend

Yosano •

-it's great when you get the chance

-i mean what else could you expect from such a beautiful and strong woman

-she'd be really sweet towards you tho even tho it's rare, it doesn't mean it doesn't happen AT ALL, it's just rare

-the cuddling in general isn't that rare, half of the nights you fall asleep it's while cuddling her, but yeah

-it's a really enjoyable experience and it's usually really peaceful

-you'd be doing your thing, she'd be doing her thing, but you guys will still be close to eachother

-whoever falls asleep last gets to admire the other one's sleeping face until they fall asleep as well

js don't get on her nerves ig lmao

~~~~~

OKAY it's done!!

i honestly really liked doing this collab as it's my first one🤷‍♂️

THANK YOU FOR 400 FOLLOWERS OVERALL(you better congratulate maria on 100 followers as well‼️)

| @mariaace <3

[spacexseven]

tunaaaaa I've been reading ur Childe Thing sooo much that I've been thinking of I Love Amy aus nonstop. its a problem. in honor of bsd s4 im gonna rapid fire a couple out for the Bsd Boys!

lets talk dazai. I feel like this could go a lot of ways with him. like, if its ada dazai, you probably don't really get the sense that something is kinda off with him until you're a bit too deep to back out. he seemed so sweet when you first met- fuckin weird, but sweet! no harm in trying to help him win over a crush, right? for pm dazai, you obviously know hes fucked in the head the second you meet him, so you agree to help him out of a fear of what he might do to you if you dont rather than a sense of altruism. either way, its kinda hard to notice him getting a little overly-attached to you just cuz of how naturally obnoxious and clingy he is. even if he starts to escalate you might not get it cuz hes pretty fast and loose about LITERALLY kidnapping you and tying you up in his apartment/mafia holding cell right off the bat (gets very pouty about you "ignoring" him). doesnt help that hes so out of touch with his own emotions he probably doesn't even know he has a thing for you for a whiiile. trust me tho, being nice to him and taking care of him when hes sick or injured WILL wear him down. you'll only kind of get it when you try to give him some new pointers on his crush and he seems to just get? annoyed? mutters something about you talking about someone else while you're SUPPOSED to pay attention to HIM. or when he keeps being weirdly affectionate with you in full view of X when hed usually forget you exist as soon as he sees them. or you woke up chained to a chair (again) but this time hes perched in your lap and scolding you about avoiding your "boyfriend" before shoving his lips against yours. couldve been any of these occasions really.

cant BELIEVE I didn't think of gogol the first time I talked about this this is almost EXACTLY what yes doing to sigma rn. when this fuckin 6'2 clown terrorist traps you against a wall and starts questioning about why you were talking to "his darling", you are 10000% sure you're gonna die. almost gives you whiplash how fast his tone changes once you convince him you have NO interest. all smiles all of the sudden, picks u up under the armpits like a cat to right ur posture and pats you on the head, declaring that you will be his magicians assistant for a while! you do not have a say in this, if you'd like to keep your skin. while you feel bad about aiding and abetting this stalking case, you get the sense that hes. not ever gonna actually make a move. kinda just Wants To Stalk. goes on about how he cant let himself be tied down like that (whatever that means). he does talk about just murdering his darling a lot but you've managed to convince him that thats unnecessary baggage connecting them to him so hopefully that keeps him sated until his goldfish-esque attention span finally moves him onto a new target. and it does! the problem is that its you. I think that once he realizes he likes you, he's just gonna vanish. poof gone. hes had a lot of fleeting obsessions with ill-fated darlings before, but youre something new. hes never actually gotten to know someone before! ugh. hes caged by his feelings for you, but the despair hed feel from killing you would be a cage all its own! frustrating!!!!! maybe if he just leaves and never thinks about you ever again this'll just go away like all of his other crushes. doesnt work. expect him back in a month, snuggling into your neck and babbling inane about having missed you. he tied you up again so youre just gonna have to let him do that. its fine youre used to this with him.

really wanted to do this with chuuya and fyodor too but im scared of them being OOC help me.

- 🩹

omg so this turned out to be Very Long :O quick context for any1 who is unfamiliar w i love amy—it's a webtoon (highly recommend btw) where the yandere character starts to fall for her 'target/rival' instead of her initial love interest. for more info + the childe version, check out this post.

cw: yandere characters (dazai, fyodor, nikolai), stalking, kidnapping, imprisonment, obsessive behavior, threats of violence to reader. (this whole post came off a little silly instead of serious But mind the cws anyway!)

this is best read with a male reader (to keep it consistent w i love amy) but there's no pronouns used or descriptions for reader, so do as you like. also, reader makes morally questionable decisions :>

(pm) dazai is to be avoided at all costs. that was the rule you put down for yourself after witnessing one of his very public threats to some poor pedestrian who had bumped into him. the dramatic coat, the blank expression, the natural ease with which he handled the weapon in his hand—everything about him was just...alarming.

however, despite all your efforts, he's obstructed your path home with a deadly glare and a hand in his pocket.

according to dazai, he did not appreciate your recent conversation with X, (as he claimed, they were too popular to spare most people more than a few friendly greetings—so why were you having a full-fledged conversation with them?) who were you, even, to get in his way? you sputter out some excuse, some explanation as to why he misunderstood the situation and it was all just work-related, and fortunately, he seems convinced, at least enough to relax his hold on you and shift the blaring malice in his stance to something less frightening.

obviously, you couldn't refuse when he offers you what he calls a mutually beneficial proposition. you help him get closer to X, and he won't kill you! win-win, don't you think?

the thing about dazai, you soon learn, is that despite the murderous energy he gives off, he's painfully annoying, more so than frightening. it almost feels like you're dealing with an obnoxious child, with how he's constantly whining and tugging at your sleeve and complaining about how useless you're being.

and it also makes you wonder if he's ever really had a friend, because he's got some strange expectations for you. he's all too possessive, too paranoid, and expects you to be perfectly fine with it. you consider telling him that he's not supposed to hold you hostage every time he thinks you're spending "too much time with someone else", but after the 4th attempt, you've understood that there was no getting to him. at least he stopped with the threats to your other friends (well, he promised you that he'd stop), and that seemed like the only thing he was willing to compromise on. he doesn't ease up on the breaking-into-your-room-to-visit-you stunt, either, especially when you're "ignoring him". despite all that, maybe out of some form of pity, you still help him out. you drop off food when he's sick and try to explain that imprisonment is not the key to a healthy relationship. you hang out with him even if you're terrified of all the mafioso you come across when you visit the hq with him, and after all of it, you're mostly convinced that he wasn't going to kill you anytime soon. in fact, the two of you seemed to be building an unusual friendship.

but when he comes to visit you one day when you're sick and actually knocks on the door and texts you beforehand, you tell him that this would be the best way to approach X if he ever hears that they're sick. though you're expecting some excitement, or some self-satisfaction for improving a little, instead of looking excited, dazai looks frustrated. for the first time, he looks genuinely...upset. and when he asks you why you can't appreciate that he was looking out for you and not X, you're left at a loss for words. you're not sure if this was a sign that he was starting to learn not to cross your boundaries or a warning that he was beginning to like you a little too much

and things only get stranger. he becomes more observant, asks you more questions about yourself rather than X, and even starts holding your hand in full view of X. when you mention that X was really looking forward to a new movie coming out and that he should try to ask them out, he gets upset by your suggestion, grumbling about you paying more attention to X and only caring about them instead of asking him if he wants to see the movie with them. so, unsure of how to respond, you echo his question. he beams at you and happily declares that he only wants to watch the movie with you.

somewhere along the line, it happened that dazai himself started to realize just how much he liked you, and he spirals out of control. the already overwhelming physical contact turns more intimate, with dazai holding your hand at every possible moment, pressing himself as close to you as humanely possible without squeezing the air out of you, and sitting on your lap whenever the opportunity presents itself. he stops responding to anything that isn't an endearing pet name and introduces himself as your boyfriend. X seems to be eradicated from his mind, as well as anyone that wasn't you, though it feels as though you're the only one that has a problem with this change. dazai takes to it naturally, seamlessly inserting himself into your life.

"what's wrong?" dazai's sprawled across your lap with the biggest grin on his face, the remote in your hand long ripped away by him, "come give your boyfriend a kiss~"

you've...heard of fyodor. it was more overhearing whispers shared between people, but the mention of his name seemed to intrigue everyone who heard it. you've heard that he was a mysterious man who walked into the city one day and never left, and you've heard that he was the owner of an expensive casino. you've even heard that he had a tendency to stand on top of rooftops at night, but you've heard tons of variations and rumors. one statement, however, rang true in everyone's ears.

fyodor dostoevsky was taken with X.

that was putting it lightly—obsession was exactly what it was. though X was clearly unaware of what was being said, because, as they assured you one day while you walked out with them, fyodor was just a friend! and he was a very interesting guy, with some strong beliefs. he wasn't some criminal mastermind! all he did was keep to himself. and that, as they confidently declared, wasn't a crime.

but you had reason to not believe X, after all, it wasn't them at the receiving end of a laser focused gaze and a creepy smile. (it scared you so much that you ran home and ordered a burglar-proof lock for your door the same night) and it also wasn't them who sat down across from you while you were having your breakfast in the café nearby. anyone would have been better than who it was.

"hello," fyodor waves a fork at you, his fingers positioned gracefully on the silver cutlery (and of course, you think bitterly, he was evil and beautiful. just your luck), "i hope you can spare me a few minutes."

he wasn't asking, but you melted at his soft tone. for all people loved to talk about him, why hadn't they mentioned how hard it was to take your eyes off him? awkwardly, you take another bite of your food, nodding at him.

he asks you about X, though it's more of an interrogation disguised as casual conversation. he easily waves around his fork, smiles at you with an unnerving expression, and stares at you a little too long. by the end of it, your food is finished and his fork is placed neatly back onto the table and you've sustained no injuries. better yet, he finally seems to have (reluctantly) removed your name from his hit list.

what you weren't expecting was for him to start seeking you out. you get strange looks when fyodor waits outside your workplace with an umbrella—your umbrella—leaving you with no choice but to walk with him unless you wanted to get home soaked. he lists off X's habit and asks you to add on to his list, ignoring your reply of "that's just creepy". he tells you that he wants to respect X's privacy by not using cameras to spy on them so will you answer him or should he use the cameras? and what else could you do then?

at the very least, he didn't seem serious about attempting to kidnap or imprison X. he seemed fascinated by them, if anything. like he was...studying them. being with him wasn't as bad as you'd though, no matter how much you hated to admit it, despite the foundation of this friendship was built on how amusing he found X. if he was in a particularly good mood, he'd even offer to help you out with your struggles in the pursuit of love. his ideas, however, were all sure to land you behind bars with a retraining order to boot. when you voiced your opinion to him, he only smiled and told you that he knew a thing or two about breaking out of a prison cell, much like he was recalling upon a fond memory.

the only good thing about this strange arrangement was that fyodor was really nice to look at. there was something mesmerizing about his every action, even the slight quirk of his lips or the way his hair fell on his forehead. the ease with which he slipped on his hat (which, by the way, what was with all his not-weather-appropriate clothing? was he not sweating?), and the commanding air around him. so while he spoke seriously about X and his distaste for most of the human population, you tuned him out and focused on admiring his pretty eyes and how his lips wrapped around his fork and—ugh, you were starting to sound as creepy as him. but honestly, you had a feeling he already knew that you found him attractive. fyodor was far too good at reading people, far too perceptive to let something as obvious as your attraction to him slip.

your mistake was foolishly believing that you'd be safe as long as you didn't act on those feelings.

it felt strange, however, when he started reaching your usual table first, having already asked for your go-to meal and watching with thinly veiled delight as you stared down at the hot plate. and it's your coworkers now that get stared at, your friends who get the silent threat of a fork pressed against smooth skin, and you that everyone whispers that fyodor dostoevsky is taken with.

the meaning behind his increasingly strange behaviour doesn't really hit you, not until you've bumped into X again, who you haven't seen around in a while.

"i see that you and fyodor are becoming good friends now," they grin, "i'm almost jealous of how quickly you warmed up to him."

long fingers reach to caress your cheek before a perfectly poised hand places itself on your shoulder. fyodor's unmistakable voice replies in your stead.

"we're friends? is that what you've heard?" fyodor dips his head down to lock eyes with yours, "why don't you correct them about that, darling?"

you should have trusted sigma when he told you that nikolai gogol was bad news. as he clarified, so bad that, coincidentally, the ministry of justice hq was moved away at least by two states when nikolai came to visit.

but how were you to know that he was in love with one of your acquaintances? and how were you to know that his idea of love was this frightening? just when you were making your way back after a lukewarm conversation about work with X, you were slammed up against the wall by a person with a top hat and a coat and an honestly terrifying expression. then nikolai, as he later introduced himself, started grilling you with questions, ruthlessly asking about why you were with X and why did they smile at you and where does your family live, after which he happily told you about his many previous experiences with torture and how he would love to show you.

you're not sure what convinced him to let you go, whether it was your trembling legs or your teary promises that you had no interest in X in that way, but here you were now—alive, terrified, and offered the position of 'magician's assistant' (though the magician himself refused to tell you why the position was open for so long) and all it took to land the increasingly strange job was to talk to X and listen to nikolai threaten to torture you in graphic detail.

(among all the crazy people you had seen around here—that so-called 'world's best detective' who snatched your bag of candy right from your hands, that other person who started doing push-ups in the middle of the road, and someone giggling holding a bag of lemons by the port—you thought that nikolai definitely fit right in. not that you were going to tell him that)

while the position wasn't exactly what you wanted, nor were you too keen on spending more time around nikolai, something about the glint in his uncovered eye and the hand gripping your shoulder told you that you really wouldn't want to reject his offer. contrary to what you may have assumed, assisting nikolai only meant becoming a partner to his criminal activity, which revolved around stalking X, talking to them to find out all the information nikolai can't get by stalking them, and stalking them even more to find out any more details that neither of you could get. (you've considered helping out as much as you can, leaving hints in the form of obscure drawings of nikolai and danger symbols, but later, when you catch sight of X waving to him, you realize the message did not come across the way you intended it to)

fortunately for them, (and for you. at least now, you won't be behind bars for assisting in abduction) nikolai seems to have no interest whatsoever in pursuing them any further. sure, he keeps books filled with information about X, and buys their favorite drink alongside his order, but he doesn't seem to want to do anything more.

while you could care less about why he does whatever he's doing, already chalking it all up to the fact that he was off his rockers, nikolai decides to enlighten you all the same. when he excitedly rambles on and on about freedom and feelings and why X must now die, you pretend to listen, never actually telling him that nothing he said made any sense to you. still, after insisting that he won't be very free behind bars either and that if he really didn't want to be tied down by his feelings, he should actually distance himself from them instead, it appeared that you finally got him to understand, and he hesitantly agreed to listen.

for the most part, everything is great after that. your life returns to normal, with no top hat wearing, cane wielding magician in the vicinity, and no more having to invade someone's privacy. and it was great! really! even if it was a little bit boring without nikolai's spontaneous plans (maybe that time in the amusement park was pretty fun, even if the only reason you had to go was because X was going there with someone else, much to nikolai's horror). there was something both unsettling and addictive about the crazy adventures nikolai swept you on, though it was for the best that he disappeared.

but then nikolai came back…acting a little odd.

his clinginess and a sudden desire for physical affection set off alarms in your head, though he acted like this was perfectly normal. at first, you told yourself that this must be some new jealousy plot—maybe he got this idea from a tv show he watched over his 'break', but he hadn't asked you if you wanted to be part of this ploy (not that he ever did, really).

and your suspicions only grew when he refused to let up on the act, holding onto you as if his life depended on it. his trips with you became increasingly frightening, and his grip on you increasingly tighter. he takes his new position by your side, not at all focused on X anymore, and instead observes you with the same look that was fixated on X not too long ago.

it only hits you that you've become his new target when you find yourself tied up to a chair, with him seated right in front of you with his face up to yours. the exact scenario you convinced him not to put X through.

"your advice sucks, by the way," he pouts, "i tried staying away but i couldn't stop thinking of you! don't be too upset, alright? we can have even more fun now that we're together!"

[jade-kyo]

Non-Red vs Blue fans guess the fake fact: results!

Find the og post here

Alright time to finally review the results! Correct answer is at the bottom of this post for those not interested in all of the results and explanations!

So the most highly voted option at 23% was Elijah Wood which I’m sorry to say is incorrect! Elijah Wood was a voice actor in the series. He played the role of Sigma! What this big name actor is doing in a random web series I have no idea but it’s still one of the wildest things to me.

Now the aspirin overdose comes in with 17.3% and got mentioned a lot in the notes and it is also incorrect. However I will admit to some poor wording on my part because it was actually an allergic reaction not an overdose. That’s a genuine oopsies on my part 😅

Florida sinking into the ocean gets a 10.1% and is also incorrect! The state of Florida does in fact sink into the ocean and it’s implied this was to cover up the disappearance of Agent Florida (who is also the guy who dies from the aspirin)

The gay guy, who’s name is Donut btw, becoming Jesus comes in with 8.3% and is in fact very real. He even walks on water. It was wild and tbh I barely remember it cause it’s from a season I dislike but it was too wild not to include.

With 7.2% I can say for sure that the giant killer robot is indeed dressed up in cute hats! Specifically a sombrero! Also the robots name is Freckles.

CPR for a bullet wound in the head gets 6.7% and is in fact considered effective medical care. Now I will say this later gets retconned and it turns out the guy didn’t actually get shot in the head the bullet just grazed him and his armor locked up making them all think he was dying- hence the choice of word being considered. The characters fully believe it but the CPR did not actually save him cause he wasn’t even hurt to begin with.

The crazy love triangle comes in with 4.7% and is also very canon and is exactly as it’s said. There’s literally just this insane love triangle for like two seasons- honestly the only love triangle plot I ever enjoyed.

With a solid 4% I can say that there is in fact canon mpreg! Hurray? Idk man this one’s exactly as it sounds. Dude got knocked up by an alien.

In last place with 2.5% of votes is the main character dying repeatedly. This is also incorrect. First off this guy is named Church which very funny on its own. Secondly it’s actually one of the first running jokes in the series how much this dude dies. Until it’s not a joke 🫠 also a few people pointed out RvB doesn’t have a main character and while I agree I felt it was simpler just to call Church the main character for this poll since it’s designed for people who haven’t seen RvB and I would argue that the majority of the narrative centers around Church even when he’s not there.

And now for the correct answer, coming in at third place with 16.1% is Caboose is god!

Now I will fully confess to being sneaky with this one. This is actually a joke made within the series but it is not true at all. Caboose is not actually god and the platypus is just that fucked up. I knew nothing I could come up with would be able to match the absurdity of this series so I decided to twist a few words so that way everything seemed equally fucked up.

And that concludes the poll! I will now leave you off with a few honorable mentions that did not make the Final Cut:

They have a Spanish speaking robot. None of them speak Spanish.

He’s a ghost but not actually a ghost but actually a highly advanced computer program

Woman has mega beef with an AI copy of her dead mom

The highly advanced computer program can’t aim for shit

The first 5 seasons were revealed to actually be a prolonged torture session

Dude chases his dead gf through multiple iteration of the same memory

Woman developed a sibling like bond with an AI copy of her extremely neglectful father

[tsuiioku]

Hello I hope your having a great day/night but I was wondering if you could do headcannons for Sigma and Dazai with an s/o with social anxiety disorder (like for me I get chest pains and nausea in social situations I’m nervous in, like being around alot of people or awkward situations and very shy to new people) thank you so much if you do end up doing this I love your writing so much btw! :D

𝖘/𝖔 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖘𝖔𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑 𝖆𝖓𝖝𝖎𝖊𝖙𝖞

content. gn!reader. social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, cuddling, hurt/comfort. not proofread.

author's note. this is my first time writing for sigma, so i hope it is not incredibly out of character!

would you like to see more? fill out the taglist or comment under this post.

𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐌𝐀 would probably initially panic himself.

You cannot tell me this man does not have his own anxiety problems (but it’s more general anxiety rather than social-specific anxiety). But at the very least, he could relate deeply to your pain.

His first initial response is to get you away from the social situation immediately (utilizing his casino manager persona). However, if he can’t get you out of the situation, he will be there for you both emotionally and physically. It’s displayed either by him holding your hand or waist and him constantly making eye contact with you to make sure you’re still okay.

If you’re at an event that you absolutely cannot leave, he’ll take you aside occasionally to a secluded corner to allow you to breathe with him. He is constantly checking up on you throughout the entire event, usually by observing your facial expressions and posture. And if someone is rude to you, that manager persona is in full force.

That man may be a complete nervous wreck (all the time), but it’s almost like the switch flips in his brain whenever someone treats you rudely. (Don’t let him touch the machine guns, though. You’ll have a lawsuit on your hands).

If the event becomes a big stressor, to the point of you having a panic attack, it doesn’t matter what obligations either of you have; you are leaving ASAP.

Once both of you arrive back at your shared suite in the casino, he will constantly question whether you’re okay.

You are absolutely having a little spa night with him – no choice. You’re gonna receive some good TLC to make sure you’re back to 100%. He’ll even order your favorite meal and desserts via room service. You won’t even have to leave the comfort of your bed.

When you head to sleep, he checks on you one last time, massaging any remaining tense muscles as he soothes you to sleep. After all, both of you are in this together.

"It's okay, love. I'm right here with you. Breathe with me, okay?"

At the start of your relationship, 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 probably dragged you into multiple social situations by accident (it’s the Osamu Dazai Effect). And honestly, he thinks it’s very cute with how shy you are.

However, once he realizes that these situations cause you actual stress, he starts to feel a bit bad for the previous experiences (this man would be thinking about each situation he had dragged you into, feeling more guilt when he remembered your expressions). He becomes a lot more watchful with the situations you both get involved in.

Don’t get me wrong, the Osamu Dazai effect will unavoidably drag you both back into another situation, but if he can prevent unnecessary stress for his baby, he will. In those inevitable situations, he makes sure to stay as physically close to you as possible (unless he absolutely can’t). For those who know him, it looks like he’s being his clingy self, but it’s all for the purpose of comforting you. 

He wants to make sure you know that he’s right there with you, that he’s not gonna let anything bad happen to you.

When the other people involved in the conversation are distracted, he’ll whisper reassurances to you in hopes that it’ll calm you down.

He’ll try to leave the situation as soon as possible, sometimes walking away from the other person mid-conversation.

Also, God forbid someone was mean to you.

There is a reason this man was called the Demon Prodigy—anyone who makes his lover uncomfortable or upset is gonna have a deep problem with him. After all, the saying is that the worst misfortune for Dazai’s enemies is that they are Dazai’s enemies.

Once you both get away, he’ll subtly check in on you in his typical Dazai way (which means mostly by being touchy and over-affectionate, unless you don’t like that).

However, you will receive a hug from this man.

And come on, I don’t doubt that he would be the type to give some of the best hugs when he is in a more serious mood. While he probably runs at a cooler temperature, the large jacket that he wears radiates heat. You’ll be snuggled up against him in no time.

Speaking of snuggling, if the social situation left you especially drained to the point of exhaustion, he would hands-down use it as an excuse to leave work early so that he could cuddle with you while you rest—after all, he needs to keep his baby happy and healthy :)

"Don't worry about talking, dear. I'll take care of everything."

TAGLIST: @imhandicapableofmath

© MUSAMORA 2023 — do not repost or modify my works for any reason. do not steal graphics w/o explicit permission. reblogs are appreciated.

[mystwrites]

Heya Myst! For the 200 followers event (CONGRATS BTW! YOU DESERVE IT!), can I please request 🫐🧺 with lee! Sigma and ler! Nikolai (BSD). Romantic or platonic, I don't have a preference! Have a lovely day!

My Event Closes on the 22nd

Sigma stared at the food in front of him. Never in his entire life had he seen so many different things and never has he ever left his casino for the land below for something as odd as a picnic. Nikolai was truly an artistic person, picking out one of the fanciest blankets to sit on and finding a nice, shady spot away from other people. Not to mention the very organized way he spread all the food out. Sigma was amazed not only by how well prepared Nikolai was, but the fact that Nikolai somehow knew all his favorite food aside from sugar cookies.

“Hey, you look a little serious there, pal.” Nikolai said, breaking Sigma from his train of thought.

“Sorry, just thinking about things.” Sigma replied, about to bite into a turkey sandwich with his favorite type of cheese, mozzarella.

“Yknow, I wanna play a little game with you.~” Nikolai snickered when Sigma glared at him.

“No. Let me enjoy my sandwich in peace.” Sigma took another bite, praying that Nikolai would spare him for once.

“Oh come on! It’s quiz time!~”

Sigma all but choked on his sandwich. “Not now! I thought we were gonna relax and have what you call a “chill” day?!?”

“Relax, my friend!” Nikolai chuckled and sat next to Sigma, the younger man suddenly becoming very nervous and suspicious. “This is a chill day!”

“Not with you being…so close and acting like you’re up to something!” Sigma shoved Nikolai back. “Go away! I wanna eat in peace!!”

“Sorry, but I’m not leaving you alone until you stop stressing! There’s nothing to stress about!” Nikolai poked Sigma’s sides, smirking as he heard a squeak. “Ohhh…what’s this?~”

“Aaahh!!” Sigma slapped Nikolai’s hand away. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m poking you.” Nikolai replied, smiling as innocently as he could. “Why?”

“I-it’s annoying!”

“Mm…so if I keep doing this, you’ll get irritated enough to indulge in my quiz, right?”

Sigma flinched as Nikolai continued to poke his sides. Upon fingers poking his ribs, he had enough for one day. Sigma giggled but slammed his sandwich back into the bag and threw it back into the cooler, glaring daggers at the literal clown sitting next to him.

“Stop! I swear to god if you don’t stop…” Sigma began.

“What? You’ll what?” Nikolai taunted, grinning from ear to ear. “You’ll giggle?~”

No wonder Fyodor decided to decline the picnic invitation. Nikolai was just as chaotic as he always was even though one of his promises was to behave. Good for Fyodor, he didn’t have to deal with this absolute tomfoolery but unfortunately for Sigma, he was gullible enough to join Nikolai after much convincing.

“No! I don’t giggle!” Sigma growled. “Don’t you dare touch me!” Sigma pointed to the opposite end of the blanket. “Go all the way over there and eat your cream cheese stuffed sandwich! Gross by the way. Go over there before I hit you with all of this!”

“Come on! I’m not touching you.~” Nikolai sang, clearly touching Sigma by poking his sides repetitively. “See? Ooh! I think I heard a giggle! Is Siggy kun ticklish?~”

Sigma wanted nothing more than to make Nikolai choke on the darn apple he was now holding in his left hand. He hated that he was the man’s poking subject and yelled, falling over when Nikolai gave his sides a squeeze.

“Don’t cahahall m-me tha-AAHA!!” Sigma cupped his mouth as he fell over, glaring at Nikolai before giggles spilled from his lips. “Stooohohop!! I’ll kick your shi-hahaha!!

“Yippee!!” Nikolai sang, wrestling Sigma down with ease. “C’mon, Sigma kun! Let’s hear those giggles!~”

As much as Sigma didn’t want to giggle, Nikolai managed to force them out. Sigma didn’t know what sort of witchcraft this man was using but it certainly worked its magic, the younger of the two giggling himself absolutely silly.

Nikolai found Sigma’s ribs and smiled as his laughter rose in pitch. Sigma was going to probably scream at him and whack him with his sandwich bag and maybe one of the charcuterie boards after he finished but it was worth it to hear Sigma’s laughter.

A/N: Thanks for the request! I made this drabble a little short for two reasons, one I had no time and wrote this all in 10 min and two, I didn’t know how I was going to write Nikolai😅Hope I did ok!

[picklebunbun]

Nikolai Gogol x male! reader head-cannons

☾

------------⁂✧★✧⁂------------

hc or oneshot/series: headcannons

male! reader, you/your pronouns and masculine pronouns, can also be read as trans or cis reader

nikolai gogol x male! reader

genre: maybe a bit of angst if you squint but a lot of fluff

romantic/platonic?: romantic

fandom: BSD

cw: nikolai is insane {what else is new}, mentions of de@th, philosophical beliefs

{angel’s note🪽: I barely see any nikolai x male reader fics, we need some for our mlm guys! Nikolai is also one of my favorite characters}

~~~

Scenario:

I guess this is how you two meet if you already didn’t think of a scenario like that

anyways, you could be held hostage by him, Nikolai definitely expected you to beg and scream for him to spare you

people desperate to save their lives and weeping for their killers to save them was always so pleasant to his ears

you were different, however. Maybe you weren’t as smart as Fyodor or as charming as Dazai but you got him

he was surprised on how philosophical you went on him, you understood how fragile life was, how useless it could be if you don’t accomplish anything, in short, after that conversation, he thought you were precious

it also took a bunch of convincing to keep you alive to fyodor

~~~

actual hc’s:

you mean A LOT to him, always around you, wanting to be in your presence

it honestly doesn’t matter if you are a man, he doesn’t care if people give you guys dirty looks {he’ll just cut their legs off later!}

definitely quizzes you for fun, even if you get the answer wrong he’ll give you a peck on the lips

pulls your legs through his portal to scare then gets really happy when he sees you

“hi, моя любимая!” (don’t confuse that with russian btw)

“NIKOLAI WTF???”

probably annoys his victims talking about you, and how lucky he is to have you as a [boyfriend/fiancee/husband]

if you live with him, he puts this LOUDD alarm at like 4am to wake you up

he likes bathing/showering with you, it doesn’t even have to be sensual, it’s just nice having a moment to yourselves

don’t let him cook for you though, he’d burn the place down, not even joking

gives you a human heart for valentines day, the smell was vile, mostly up to you if you want to throw it away or keep it

brings 1000 animals to your place, a few of them were giraffes, HOW’D HE EVEN GET THAT

if you’re in the DOA he’d be your partner every single time

if you don’t work with him he’d be happy to introduce you to Sigma and Fyodor, but he’d also rather you stay away from that organization

he makes you braid his hair every single day, even if you’re horrible at braiding, it wouldn’t matter cause he’d still keep his hair like that

PROBABLY SLEEPS IN HIS JESTER OUTFIT TOO, WITH HIS STUPID SHOES AND EVERYTHING

LOVES physical touch and giving gifts, they’re his love languages

speaking of physical touch, he likes giving you big bear hugs, holding hand and cuddling with you

pulls your face through the portal to kiss you, it’s actually pretty cute

also, your gifts mostly consists of body parts or dead corpses {how romantic}

{this is a little short, sorray 😞}

~~~