#+4 +3 +3 +2 +2 +0 +2 +2 that's nothing. that's really not worth my time

[pegasusknightsonly]

my Robin is already starting to struggle compared to my other trained gen1 units so i thought about giving her an early promotion to patch her up and make some progress towards her eventual rallybot role but

this is just depressing

[meazalykov]

wrong number

bayern munich frauen x lena oberdorf x reader

1/6, 2/6, 3/6, 4/6, 5/6, 6/6

summary: you're the honorary bayern munich teammate.

the excitement fills your veins as you land in lisbon. 

you’re finally here, and it’s hard to believe. lena doesn't even know yet—you wanted to surprise her, to be there in person for the match of her life. it’s been a long journey from buying the ticket, keeping it quiet, and making your way to portugal, but every step felt worth it because nothing, absolutely nothing, would have kept you from being here to support lena in the champions league final.

hours later, you’re waiting anxiously in your hotel room when a knock finally comes. you open the door to find lena, looking tired but smiling, and her face lights up as she sees you.

"you made it," she says, stepping forward to hug you tightly. she lets out a deep breath, and you feel some of the tension melt from her shoulders.

"of course i did," you say, hugging her back, brushing a hand over her back. 

"how could i miss this? tomorrow’s the match of your life. are you nervous?"

she pulls back slightly, her smile fading as she flops onto the bed beside you. 

"yeah… a little," she admits, looking away. 

"it’s more than that, though. i keep thinking about the final in 2023… it’s like this shadow hanging over everything. it won’t go away." her voice goes quieter, and you see just how much she’s carrying from that day that you’re unfamiliar with.

you sit beside her, reaching out to take her hand. 

"do you want to talk about it? what happened in 2023?"

she nods, her gaze fixed on a spot across the room. 

"it was against barcelona, with wolfsburg. we were up 2-0, and then everything just… fell apart. they scored three goals in, like, eight minutes. i felt so helpless. all those months of training, just to lose like that. sometimes it feels like i haven’t shaken it off."

you squeeze her hand gently. 

"i can’t imagine how tough that must’ve been. losing on that stage, with everyone watching… it’s okay that it still hurts. a lot of people would feel the same. i also know that you’re stronger now."

she looks over at you, a small smile finally breaking through before giving you a light kiss. 

"thanks. i don’t know… i’ve tried to push it out of my head, but tomorrow feels like a chance to finally put it behind me. i want to prove to myself that i’m not that same person who let it slip away." she whispers against you.

you run your thumb across her knuckles, trying to pour all your reassurance into that small touch. 

"and you’re not. you’re here, stronger and smarter, and you’ve learned so much. but whatever happens tomorrow, you’re still amazing. i’m just so proud of you."

a soft blush colors her cheeks as she squeezes your hand back, her gaze meeting yours as her forehead rests against yours. 

"thank you. it really helps, having you here. more than you know."

after a while, she heads back to her hotel room for a good night's sleep, leaving you with a warm, happy feeling that stays with you until morning. 

it’s surreal, thinking back to a year ago when this whole thing started with a wrong number. now you’re here, in lisbon, to watch the woman you love play in one of the biggest games of her life.

the next day, you find yasmeen at the stadium entrance, her face lighting up when she spots you. she flew in from america just to keep you company, and you feel a rush of gratitude as you hug her.

"ready for the match of your life?" she grins, eyes sparkling.

"more ready than i’ve ever been," you laugh, feeling your own excitement build up. you’re both practically vibrating as you take your seats, and when the game kicks off, it’s all you can focus on. 

seeing lena on the bench doesn’t dim your excitement—she’ll get her moment, and you know it.

the game starts off tense. city’s vivianne scores in the 20th minute, and the bayern fans around you groan. you try to keep your spirits up, leaning forward and clapping.

"come on, girls!" you shout in german, even though your voice is quickly swallowed by the roar of the crowd.

yasmeen chuckles beside you, giving you a supportive pat. 

"you’re so into it already."

you grin. 

"it’s impossible not to be. they’re incredible."

just before halftime, bayern’s perseverance pays off. in the 45th minute, klara sets up a perfect cross, and pernille rises up to head it in, tying the score. 

you leap out of your seat, clapping wildly as yasmeen cheers beside you.

"yes! let’s go, harder!" you yell, grinning from ear to ear.

at halftime, a fan behind you taps your shoulder and asks for a photo. she’s wearing a lena jersey, and you assume she just wants a picture with "lena’s girlfriend." 

you’re hesitant but smile and take the photo with her. when yasmeen teases you, you roll your eyes and laugh it off, though you can’t deny you’re a little flattered.

"look at you, getting famous," yasmeen nudges you. 

"you’re practically the team’s mascot at this point."

"shut up," you laugh, feeling your cheeks warm. 

"all i am is lena’s slightly anxious but very supportive girlfriend."

the second half starts off rough. city’s bunny shaw scores twice in under nine minutes, and the atmosphere in the bayern section gets tense. you bite your lip, glancing at yasmeen for reassurance as the clock ticks on.

bayern doesn’t let up. lea schüller scores in the 55th minute just one minute after shaw scored city’s third goal, and it feels like a breath of fresh air. 

one more goal, and they’ll be even again. you clap, your hands sore but determined, and yell encouragement, hoping somehow the team can hear you all the way on the bench.

then, in the 68th minute, pernille gets her second goal, equalizing. the stadium erupts, and you jump out of your seat, pulling yasmeen into a hug. 

this match has you on the edge of your seat, your heart racing with every pass, every tackle.

a commotion catches your attention near the right side of the pitch, and you see sydney in a heated exchange with alex greenwood. sydney is keeping the ball away from greenwood as the ref tries to intervene. you can’t help but chuckle as yasmeen leans over. 

"what’s going on with them?"

"just sydney being sydney," you say, grinning. 

"kidding. i’m not sure, maybe sydney just wants to give her team a breather.” 

minutes later, in the 79th minute, lena stands at the sideline, preparing to sub in. your heart skips a beat as you slip off your light blue button-up longsleeve to reveal your oberdorf jersey underneath. yasmeen catches sight of it and snickers.

"i wonder if she’ll get a yellow card within the first five minutes."

"probably," you mutter with the pride in your voice. you’re just thrilled to see her out there, part of the game she’s worked so hard to return to.

she’s barely on the pitch when, in the 81st minute, she makes a classic side tackle on mary fowler, and you and yasmeen exchange a look. 

lena gets a warning, but she’s unfazed, her focus sharp.

the clock’s ticking, and tension fills the air. then, in the 88th minute, lena sets up an assist to sydney, who powers the ball into the net, bringing the score to 3-3. 

you jump up, screaming as loud as you can, caught up in the joy of the moment.

at this point, your mind starts to wander, reflecting on how far you’ve come. a year ago, you were just a student in virginia, living a quiet life. now, you’re in lisbon, watching the woman you love play in a champions league final, surrounded by friends and fans. it feels surreal.

yasmeen nudges you, drawing you back to the game. 

"imagine if lena scores the winning goal."

"i hope," you murmur, watching her with bated breath as she passes the ball to tuva, who then lightly passes it to ana. 

ana crosses up to klara, who leaps up for a perfect header. the ball sails into the net, and the stadium explodes in cheers. the scoreboard lights up,

4-3.

klara runs to the corner, celebrating, and you watch in awe as the team surrounds her. then she turns and sends a heart your way, her hands forming the shape in the air. you send one back, beaming as yasmeen chuckles beside you.

the final whistle blows, and it’s like the whole stadium erupts at once. the scoreboard is locked at 4-3, with bayern’s victory glowing bright, but it’s hard to believe until you see the girls flood the pitch, their faces breaking into elated, disbelieving smiles. 

yasmeen nudges you, and you turn to see her beaming.

“they really did it,” she says, a little in awe herself. 

“and they really love you, huh?” you laugh, heart swelling as you watch the team embrace, overcome by what they've achieved.

“guess i just got lucky,” you murmur, and you mean it.

after the immediate celebration dies down a bit, the trophy ceremony begins, the crowd cheering louder as each player receives their medal, eyes glistening with the weight of the win. confetti rains down, golden and shimmering in the stadium lights, and you feel a lump in your throat. they’ve worked so hard for this.

suddenly, you hear a voice calling your name. you turn to see sydney and tuva waving, beckoning you over. before you can process it, they’re running up, reaching over the barricade to pull you across it.

“you’re coming with us,” sydney insists, her grip firm, and tuva laughs, nodding in agreement. they drag you toward the heart of the celebration, and you glance back at yasmeen, who waves you off with a smile.

“go have fun!” she calls, and you smile back gratefully.

you barely have a second to catch your breath before you spot lena jogging toward you, her face flushed with happiness, eyes bright under the stadium lights. she wraps you in her arms, lifting you slightly, and you cling to her, laughing as she swings you back and forth.

“we did it,” she breathes, her voice full of amazement.

“you did it,” you correct, pulling back just enough to look at her. her eyes search yours, and you can see that same mixture of pride and disbelief.

“i still can’t believe it,” she whispers, her hands resting on your shoulders. 

“it feels… surreal.”

you smile, brushing a strand of confetti from her hair. 

“it’s real. and you deserve every bit of it, obi!”

lena smiles, a little teary-eyed, then leans in and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, lingering there as if she wants to soak up the moment. 

“thank you for being here,” she says quietly, and you can hear the depth of her gratitude, her voice soft and genuine.

“i wouldn’t have missed this for anything,” you whisper back, feeling your own emotions rise.

nearby, klara is holding the trophy, posing for pictures, her grin as wide as you’ve ever seen. when she spots you, she waves you over, gesturing for you to come closer. you hesitate, feeling a rush of self-consciousness. 

you’re not a player, after all—you didn’t sweat and fight for this trophy like they did.

“come on!” klara calls, laughing at your reluctance. 

“get in here!”

you make your way over, feeling a bit out of place, and she hands you the trophy, the massive silver and blue prize weighing heavy in your hands. 

the moment feels surreal, and you look at klara, a little overwhelmed.

“are you sure?” you ask, voice soft.

she grins. 

“absolutely. you’re part of this team, too, you know.”

lena’s hand slips into the side of your waist as she steps closer, nodding with a warm smile. 

“she’s right, you know,” lena says, giving your hand a squeeze. 

“you’re like our honorary teammate.”

you smile, heart racing, and glance around at the team gathered around you. it’s a strange feeling—this sense of belonging among these women who have worked and sacrificed so much. 

they’re looking at you with genuine affection, the bond you’ve built with them over time stronger than you’d ever realized.

“alright,” you say, laughing, feeling a bit more relaxed as they crowd in around you. 

“but only because you all insisted.”

they cheer, pulling you into the picture, arms wrapped around one another, laughing and shouting in excitement as the photographer snaps photo after photo. you can feel the joy radiating from each of them, the weight of this accomplishment shared and celebrated together. 

when klara makes a heart with her hands, aiming it at you, your chest tightens with warmth.

yasmeen, watching from the stands, raises her thumbs up and laughs, mouthing “so popular!” and you give her a teasing eye-roll, smiling at her playfully.

finally, as the photos wrap up and the team disperses to greet more of their friends and family, lena pulls you aside to meet her parents, holding you close as you both take in the night. 

the lights of the stadium are soft now, the crowd gradually fading, and it’s just you two talking to her family, standing side by side in the quiet after the storm of victory.

“i’m so proud of you,” you say to lena after her family leaves the stadium, voice thick with emotion. 

“watching you play, seeing you out there after everything you’ve been through… it’s incredible.”

lena’s eyes soften, her fingers tracing the outline of your hand. 

“i couldn’t have done it without you,” she murmurs.

“you’ve been here every step, even when i was sidelined and frustrated. you kept me going.”

you smile, your heart swelling with pride and love. 

“that’s what teammates are for, right?”

she laughs softly, her gaze tender. 

“then it’s settled,” she says, her smile widening. 

“you are officially our honorary bayern teammate.”

the words echo in your mind, wrapping around you like a warm embrace, and you know that this night, this moment, will stay with you forever.

masterlist

authors note: I hope you enjoyed this six parts series :) I started it 10/1 and finished this part last night before a halloween party I had to attend lol

[cicerfics]

Q's 10 Favorite Jumpers, Rated and Reviewed By 007

With Rebuttals (and Revised Rebuttals) from the Quartermaster Himself

Gifted to @foxsoulcourt over on Station Pacific, just for being awesome!

Fits Q like a glove and the shade sets off Q's lovely winter complexion. 9/10.

Didn't this ridiculous business of seasonal color analysis go out when I was still in primary school? You're dating yourself, 007.

Well, somebody has to, since you wouldn't let me take you out for a drink last night.

...

Color less garish than usual, but fuzzy texture makes Q look like he's growing mold. Off-putting. At least, as off-putting as is possible for a man of Q's caliber. 6/10.

It's mohair, you heathen, not mold!

And stop talking about my 'caliber' if you

...

The color washes out your complexion. You ought to stick to darker shades, dear. Still, this one fits you snugly and the knit is thin enough that I can see your nipples when it's chilly in the server room. 8/10, it'd look even better on my bedroom floor.

You are no longer allowed in the server room when I'm in there, effective immediately, lest I file a complaint with Human Resources. Stop looking at my nipples. (And there's a phrase I never thought I'd have to use when addressing a colleague at Her Majesty's Secret Service.)

I live to defy expectations.

Color does marvelous things for Q's eyes but the squiggles give me vertigo. 5/10.

Get your eyes checked, old man, and stop blaming my jumpers for your vision difficulties!

Ranking has dropped to 4/10 due to Q's insolence. Be nicer to me, or I'll be the one to file a complaint with HR. Age discrimination is against regulations, my dear.

Stop calling me that

I don't really think you're that old

You do need reading glasses though

I never thought I'd see the day 007 cites regulations to me.

Why are there so many bars and blocks? Why isn't the jumper one harmonious shade of gray? Atrocious. 3/10.

It's comfortable

It reminds me of that time you

Don't lie, I've caught you looking at me when I was wearing th

It's considered artistic, 007, but of course you wouldn't know anything about that.

Grand old warship, Q. Nothing more.

Don't be ridiculous, of course you're more than

...

Reminds me of my grandfather. Deeply disturbing that I still want to shag Q even when he dresses like my grandfather. 2/10, will be reporting the quartermaster to Dr. Wilson for damaging my psyche.

You will do no such thing. That poor woman has enough to bear as it is. Overseeing your routine psych screenings is enough to warrant hazard pay.

I've caught you looking at me in this one too

You don't own this one, but you should. Let me buy it for you, darling. 10/10, would tug you into a broom cupboard during your lunch hour and undo the buttons with my teeth.

What is your obsession with Tom Ford

I don't see why

You say things like this but then you never follow throu

Why did you cancel our dinner the other nigh

I am not the sort of gentleman who permits himself to be despoiled in broom cupboards, thank you very much.

Puts me in mind of those odd little sailor suits posh people used to make their children wear. I think someone put me in one, once, ages ago. 1/10, you already look young enough to make me feel like a filthy old man, no need to make it worse.

I wouldn't mind if you were a bit 'filthier', actua

Well, if the shoe fits.

And you scold me about wasting money with damaged equipment and bloodied suits. Look at the price tag on this. Outrageous. 10/10, worth every penny, you're delectable in this one.

I only bought it to treat myself after

It was my birthday and i

You said you were taking me out for dinner for the occasion but then you

…Thank you.

I'd ask what I've done to deserve this torture, but I suppose I already know the answer to that. 0/10, I will have burned this one by the time you've read this list, and I apologize for nothing.

You know exactly what you've done, yes.

Three million pounds of my department funding for heaven's sake

Not to mention the fact that you canceled our dinner after I

And I hardly bought this to torture you. I don't buy my clothes with you in mind, 007. Don't be so arrogant.

And if that isn't an empty threat and you've actually broken into my flat and destroyed my personal property, I'll have your head.

My. How forward of you, Q. Well, I'll have to insist you take me out to dinner first. Then you can have whatever bits of me you like.

Don't be vulgar, you menace.

Not unless you're going to follow through on

You're the one who backed out of the dinn

Did you really burn it?

It was a threat to national security. Could sear a man's eyes right out of his skull. It had to go.

The cats agreed with me. They didn't put up any protest when I pilfered from your wardrobe.

For heaven's sake.

Then they're getting their least favorite flavor of tinned food for supper. And you're not getting dinner from me at all.

Now, I hope I'm not being punished for cancelling on you last week.

Of course I'm not

I don't see why you

You

...

You're being punished for wasting your day reviewing my jumpers rather than completing your overdue AARs. Please allow me to direct your attention to the rather large pile of paperwork with your name on it.

Sod the paperwork.

Q. I'm sorry I cancelled. You have no idea how sorry. But something came up.

I'm sure it did.

Something to do with the job.

...

Some internal business. Something had to be taken care of.

Somebody had to be taken care of.

...

Mallory told me not to discuss it with any of the department heads just yet. I handled it, but the job won't be declassified until tomorrow. Expect Tanner to call you and the others in for a meeting in the morning.

...Oh.

Well.

You should've told me sooner.

Q, I'm shocked! You're saying I should've gone against Mallory's direct orders and disclosed classified material to you against his will?

Of course that what I'm saying, you filthy hypocrite. You could've told me. I would've been discreet.

I know you would've been. That's not the point.

...

...Bond?

I'm trying to keep you out of trouble these days.

Trying not to be the man who ruins your career.

You've never

If that's how you feel then why

Even if you did, I'd

Rather unflattering that you assume I can't take care of myself.

I can, I'll have you know. And I never asked you to protect me. I can protect myself...and I can protect you in the bargain, thank you very much. I'm rather good at it, in fact.

Well, I can't argue with you there.

...

...?

Suppose we don't wait for tomorrow's meeting.

Suppose I take you out to dinner and tell you all about the whole sordid business tonight.

...You're planning on disclosing confidential intel in the middle of an Italian restaurant?!

Suppose we skip the restaurant.

Suppose I bring a couple of curries round to your flat and we talk about it there.

The flat you recently burglarized.

Let's not dwell on the past, dear.

Besides, I think the cats are warming up to me.

And I've got an overdue birthday present for you.

...Dare I ask what it is?

A replacement for the jumper I burned. A whole new ensemble, in fact.

Something much better than anything in your wardrobe. Much worthier of you. Something to show off those good looks of yours.

Will you let me give it to you this evening?

...Ah.

Well, I was going to ask what I should wear when you come over, since you have such strong opinions on the matter.

But if you're bringing a new outfit along, perhaps I shouldn't bother to put anything on at all?

Darling, I always said you were a genius.

19:00 tonight, your place. I'd say 'dress to impress', but I think your idea is best.

There's no improving on perfection, after all.

Do you really

I want you to

For God's sake, if you don't make good on your promises this time, I'll

19:00, then. I trust you know the address

Please try to be on time, 007.

For you, Q?

I'll be early.

[primrosebow]

An open letter to bigfatbimbo.🪽

Reasons why you should write for Adam.

1 -> He is a misogynist (not for long)

Look at his face. He is so weird. I swear. He has been favoritized for far too long, leaving him with the most mind-numbing god complex. Don't you want to stab him to death like niffty? Don't you want to put him where he deserves to be (either underground or under me)? I do. You should too! Because his way of thinking meets it's end where my heels begin.

2 -> He is stupid

He has the emotional maturity of a boiled lobster. He fits into heaven like an orca in the amazon river. He is so unbelievably incompetent it is actually kind of mind boggling. Don't you want to crush him like he's a little bug (either with your fists or your thighs)? Didn't he literally say one of the "biggest issues evet" was math or something? He probably couldn't tell you where Africa is in the world map even if you paid him. Even the fruit of knowledge couldn't give him enough braincells to function as a proper member of society.

3 -> he deserves humiliation

He deserves to have his entire worldview rocked and destroyed, something we can surely provide. His shallow thinking should be promptly obliterated. He has only ever gotten away from beautiful tall strong women because he always had the option of just asking for a different woman. They didn't have the mental fortitude to put him in his place. We are the bearers of the curse (liking repulsive men), and, since there is no "mental fortitude" to begin with, there is nothing for him to break down. We (as a collective) should end him.

4 -> I know what he is

His entire persona is a gigantic act to make up for the fact he cannot appropriatelly cope with losing in general, much less losing the, like, 2 wives he ever had (to THE SAME GUY!! MIND YOU!!!) and if he had more people they were one night stands. Not because he left them, but because people know he is worthless scum and he is good for nothing other than his "original dick" ( eugh. I usually refrain from cursing >:// ). It is the reason for his pride and also the only thing that makes him even remotely worth the hastle of talking to. He is the equivalent of a carnival prize to the people in heaven, scoring him is more of a show of your own endurance rather than how coveted he is. He has been objectified through his own hubris. He should be made aware of that. He should fear the knowledge we posses. It should be used against him.

5 -> he sounds.. like.. . He sounds good.

I watched the series while skipping most of the songs but I genuinelly could not do it when he was singing. No wonder he's in a band or something, I didn't actually pay attention to what he was saying I was paying more attention to the sound of his voice so I don't remember clearly what's up with that. Like he sounds REALLY good. If only he knew how to just use his voice without saying the most repulsive atrocities to be ever uttered by anyone ever. Oh yeah! We can make him incoherent enough for that to happen.

6 -> Lute deserves better

Lute deserves, like, a woman. Not him. She's too gorgeous for him, and, the difference between us and her is that while SHE is dealing with HIM, in our case, HE has to deal with US. Really, we're just saving a beautiful, amazing, stunning, showstopping woman a lot of trouble, and getting an ENTIRE PATHETIC MAN AS A TRADE! WIN WIN! Literally no downsides, I swear.

7 -> he is girl dinner

Don't you just love looking into your fridge and seeing the worthless scraps that built up overtime but somehow taste better now than they usually would have, which is particularly shocking considering it has 0 nutritional value? That would be what girl dinner is, and also an appropriate analogy for what Adam is like! Just roughly ok looking enough for you to not downright call it a biohazard. You will go to bed satisfied after fighting tooth and nail for your dinner (getting him to behave properly) and, it'll be easier the next times maybe! Operant conditioning is a heavy hitter with this repulsive individual, so it might actually get easier! Who knows!

8 -> Pretty please? (´｡･д人)ﾞ

I really. Uh . I really want him if you couldn't tell? Maybe the cannibalism and the fear I want to instill into him got in the way of you seeing my point, but, like, that's just how I love. The highest honor I could bestow on him is wanting to eat him, so, maybe that'll assist in your judgement? I also just really like your writing and would love to hear your thoughts on his idiotic self. AND! AND! Other people also want you to write about him if I well remember the 1 ask you received about him!

I await your response when you are available @bigfatbimbo

If you need more convincing; I can, like, draw him? I'm going to draw him no matter what but like I can cook something up for you in particular who knows.

You did say you were already considering writing for him, so, maybe this can be a final push in that direction for you!

- sincerely, Bow

[ron456]

Rating the Broadway BMC soundtrack based on how fun it is to/ if you can do the macarena dance to it (literally no one asked for this 😭)

I made this cuz' me and my cast mates at my school will frequently do the macarena dance to songs while in the wings/or backstage (sometimes even while ON stage) . I've never been in a production of Be More Chill but I'm just judging based off experience and cuz I tested them 😭 (Yes, I did the macarena to all of these. My back hurts now but it was worth it for science). (Also, it's generally more fun to macarena to fast songs when your joking around backstage so yeah. That affected my rating too.) (Idk I was bored and sad and this came to mind so enjoy, I guess)

Jeremy’s Theme

2/10 there’s a little bit of macarena ability in the middle but eh, not really

More Than Survive

9/10 pretty good. Very fast macarena but fun. And it’s honestly fun to do it during the slower parts like the Christine part. And Michael’s Bob Marley part works pretty well with it. Jeremy’s slow part near the end does not work for it 😭. But regardless, it’s pretty good

I Love Play Rehearsal

4/10 some parts have a steady beat enough to do it but there’s a lot of tempo changes and pauses so you can’t do it that consistently. The parts that you could macarena to, though, were fun, so yeah.

More Than Survive Reprise

6/10 Honestly I was surprised by this one. It worked more than I thought it would 😭. Pretty steady 4/4 time signature (I think, idk Im not a professional). Some pauses, but if you keep macarena-ing, it pretty much works.

SQUIP Song

 4/10 Fast to slow to fast macarena. I guess the original macarena is pretty slow anyways but I’m so used to doing it fast backstage, that I can’t imagine it would be the first dance to come to my head if the SQUIP song was on.

Two-Player Game

5/10 Ehh, I had high expectations for this one but it was kinda boring to do the macarena to 😭. But, I mean, it has a generally steady beat except for that slow part at the end. So yeah, it works but it’s not that entertaining

The SQUIP Enters

0/10 I mean, obviously. It’s not even a song 😭. Just dialogue and frantic noise.

Be More Chill Part 1

3/10 Went from okay, to “no, this sucks”, and then it was pretty fun to macarena during the first part of “I saw it in the window…” but then it got bad again. So generally…not good.

Do you wanna ride?

6/10 Not too bad. Definitely not fun in the beginning cuz it’s too slow. But once it picks up, it works pretty well. The hip shimmy at the end of each macarena “set” (idk man 😭) goes well with this song actually. Made me giggle.

Be More Chill Part 2

5/10 Absolutely not in the beginning. But once things pick up, it’s alright. Kind of a snooze fest to do the macarena to cuz it’s kinda slow but it’s alright. Hurt me not to shimmy my shoulders during “You Wi-i-i-i-i-i-iL”.

Sync Up

6/10 Honestly, sorta fun 😭. Beat is pretty consistent and high energy. Also, it makes me realize that the songs with the “More Than Survive” like, motif, work pretty well for a fun, fast macarena 😭. Nothing too crazy but yeah. It’s good. (Side Note: I’m getting only slightly burned out by macarena-ing at this point)

Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into

6/10  Generally consistent except for the end. It’s fun. Again, nothing too crazy. Though, I would wanna see a version of this song where the ensemble is doing the macarena after I’ve tried it 😭.

The SQUIP Stalks

1.5/10 Very slow Macarena in the beginning. And then the rest you just…can’t. Like at all.

Upgrade 

4/10 Okay, I love this song so much but no 😭. Doesn’t work that much. I mean, you can at some parts but it’s not that enjoyable, I’d say. Other parts, you can’t do it at all or it has to be really, really slow. 

Loser Geek Whatever

6.8/10 Okay, this one, surprisingly, brought up my energy after macarena-ing to all these other damn songs. Like, it’s too slow at some parts but when it picks up, it’s lowkey kinda funny to do it and I could 100% imagine me and my castmates doing a dramatic macarena to this (There’s something about the sadder songs that are just more fun to do the macarena to idk).

Halloween

8.5/10 (I’m not gonna count the slow instrumental part in the beginning of this one cuz, like, it just transitions into, like, a whole completely different song so that doesn’t seem fair to include it.) Really fun. Could imagine myself macarena-ing on stage if I had the opportunity to. Especially during the dance break. I’m not surprised one of the big group dance number song works for this( when I did Beauty and the Beast, we would macarena so much as a joke during  “Be Our Guest”, that our director let Lumiere do it during the improv parts. This reminded me of that 😭😭).

Do You Wanna Hang

0.5/10 I sighed at the beginning of this one. Idk, I guess technically yeah you could, but it wouldn’t be consistent or fun. Especially considering the subject matter. Couldn’t imagine my castmates macarena-ing to this at all. It’s getting slightly higher than “The SQUIP Enters” cuz it’s an actual song but that is the only reason.

Michael in the Bathroom

(I did the Two Rivers one cuz I like that one better and I’m pretty sure the BPM is the same so yeah. idk. The rest are all broadway again.)

 10/10 Okay, wow. Next time I have a depressive episode, I am doing the macarena to “Michael in the Bathroom”. Like, oh my gosh, this was (weirdly) so f*cking fun 😭. Especially during the “Knock, knock..” part and the “I’m just Michael who’s a loner..” part. The slow parts aren’t too hard to do if you have good rhythm but yeah. As I said before, the sadder songs are really fun to macarena to. I could imagine me and my castmates doing the macarena to this. This song was weirdly cathartic to do this to. Was so fun I did it twice. 10/10. Would recommend it.

Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into (Reprise)

4/10 Again, I love this song but eh, not really. You sorta can, but it’s slow and you’d probably stop it after only a couple seconds. I could imagine me and my castmates doing the macarena to it, but, like I said, it wouldn’t last long without people getting bored.

The Smartphone Hour

5.5/10 Again, I had higher hopes for this one but it was just alright. Worked pretty well after the “Here we go!” part and was fun to do fast in the beginning, but there’s a fair amount of tempo changes or interruptions or pauses so you get tired/ bored easily. At least for me. I really love this song but ehhh… not for doing the macarena to. Idk. I’m losing my mind at this point.

The Pants Song

5/10 Too slow in the beginning to macarena😭And then when it picks up it feels a little too fast. Slightly overwhelming. Lowkey gave me anxiety to keep up. Idk

Pitiful Children

4/10 At the beginning I was like “oooo this works!” but then I got bored and also got a back cramp while doing it 😭😭. Idk. It’s alright. It’s repetitive, which I guess is how it should be for the macarena but, for me, the most fun part of doing the backstage macarena is having to adjust to the tempo just a little at times but not too much where it’s annoying or basically impossible. Hard to keep the energy up after a bit. This bored me eventually.

The Play

2.7/10 There is so much chaos going on during this 😭 Like, it’s fifty different reprises at once, I swear. Christine’s part is pretty fun and goofy to do it to, but everything else is mostly dialogue. I wanted to give it more points cuz Christine is in it but that didn’t seem fair so yeah.

Voices in My Head

5.8/10 I mean, ya know, it works for a majority of this song. Even some parts where Jeremy and Christine are talking. Gets a little too slow at one part. And then it’s way too fast to do the macarena at the end😭. So yeahhh. It’s a trip idk.

[n7punk]

2024 Writing Wrapped

Buckle your asses in because this is a long one (when has it ever been a short one)

Stats:

Fics posted this year: 32 (it honestly feels like way more)

AUs: 25 Canon: 7

Updates (chapters, one-shots, etc): 97 (damn I thought that was higher too lol but that's an average of posting every 3.14 days for the 10 months I wasn't on hiatus and and posting 1.87 times a week if you include my hiatus period, and my goal this year was to hopefully update 1.5-2x a week on average, so that goal was definitely met!)

Total word count: 600,179 (my goal was 600k and I got it in with only a few hours left)

AUs: 400,695 Canon: 41,235

Fandom events: 4! (Big Bang, Sapphic September, AU-ctober, Sheratober)

Novels: 1

Personal projects: 2 (misc)

Writing streak: 730* days

I haven't actually written every day in there, I have a couple of rest days thrown in that I only allow myself if there are extenuating circumstances (power outage, sick, etc) where I give myself a word count of 0 because my counter still picks that up as writing. Having this streak is extremely motivating to me so it's worth the "inaccuracies" to have it force me to write on the days I normally wouldn't because I don't want to break it. Removing the freebie days from this year, they're 6, and going back to 2023 it looks like I had 1 since the streak started, so the "real" count is 723. When I port over my streak to next year I'll use the reduced number so it will be more "accurate". I want to keep those freebies in the single digits every year and I'm happy with that.

Retrospective:

1% of Catradora fics!!

that's how I started the year, posting 'stardust, glitter, and love', which let 'freak occurrence: confluence' become my 117th Catradora fic that took me to 1% of the tag (as of writing this I'm 1.17% even after taking nearly two months off lmao). This was a huge goal of mine I was honestly hoping to hit at the end of last year, but kicking the new year off with it was great too.

In late January/February I was working on EtB(LtF), but I got a little ahead and as I was slowly posting the final chapters, I also joined my first fandom event EVER! and wrote Lightbeam for the Big Bang.

The Big Bang was so fun. I want to shout out karo-lynn again for the absolutely GORGEOUS art that went above and beyond with multiple illustrations. Kitten Catra is soooo cute and the way the glowing effects came out is just 🤩 Getting to do Lightbeam for the Big Bang was really great because it was a "milestone" event for the 4th anniversary and the fic I got to write for it was almost a follow-up to my "milestone" fic because they were the only couple in freak occurrence: confluence that hadn't had their "home universe" fic come out, and Lightbeam was the genesis of a long-standing idea (kinda headcanonish) about Adora being the goddess of Etheria that I had, so thank you so much to Tippenfunkaport for arranging it because the final fic and art means so much to me <3 (and also even if I'm still working my way through them, there were a lot of good other fics that came out of it I loved reading!)

To my memory, February/March was a little slower working on MMaM and SYE, but I went a little crazy with OLIG in April/May and had so much fun on that project. I really, really needed it. I'm not going to get into it, but with stuff that happened in my family... this was honestly one of the scariest years of my life. I was trying to figure out why I have vague negativity associated with the OLIG project and then I remembered what was happening around then and realized it had nothing to do with the project itself and in fact that was the only thing that kept me sane. That's probably why I was having one of my troughs in mid/late-May through July. Everything I picked up after OLIG/the Big Bang I just couldn't spark my interest the same and I was tired, but I eventually settled on Slipstream and slowly wrote that for... ages. But I don't want to make it sound like I was depressed that whole time. March-June were really hard, but the main reason I didn't write much in July was actually because I was having so much fun, because I got to meet up with a bunch of friends IRL for almost two weeks. It was so incredible and ugh, I'm committed to making a meetup happen again because I miss them so much.

I think I finally finished Slipstream in August, and that's when it happened. I saw the Sapphic September prompts. I already did individual retros on Sapphic September and Sheratober/AU-ctober, but needless to say: I went fucking insane. The unhinged era returned. And I had a fucking blast. I do want to do more fandom events in the future, but we'll get to that in the future plans section.

I will say, after those events, I honestly felt a little tapped for solid fic ideas. So like, I have a list of 7 ideas I'm interested in (and 1 WIP I'll try to finish and post in January), but I have no thoughts for an actual plot for those 7, it's literally just a tagline, like "Wedding Crashers AU" and that's it (using What a Beautiful Wedding as an example). So there's something there but plot calling to me. The Catradora whirlwind combined with future plans I'll get into later (I promise I'm not going to keep saying that) motivated me to finally pickup my novels again as my next project after the month was over.

I also did something new this year and wrote fanfics without the intention to publish them at any point. I talked about how I lied to myself I wouldn't do it with SB,WCFM to make me start it but lowkey knew the whole time I was going to. That wasn't the case with these other two. One I knew would be bad and had no interest in making good, and the other was for my OCs. For both I wrote 10k in one day. And it was bad. But it was also good. It felt good and the quality or missing scenes didn't matter since no one but me would ever read them. I'm not going to make this a "habit" but I'm definitely open to doing it again, especially for my OCs lol. And though one day I would love to turn them into published characters, I think there's some kind of conflict of interest issues or something with me posting fic of them on the internet, so they will probably continue to stay just for me, but hey, let's talk about novels!

Novels: Oh My God What The Fuck is NaNo Doing

Alright. So, if you don't know, NaNoWriMo used to be a huge thing for me. I won it 4 years straight 2012-2016, and picked it back up in 2020 when I got into writing again because of Catradora. In 2020 I just did a collection of fanfic for it (SLAS/OTOS/misc), and in 2021 I did my first original novel since 2016 in it. When 2022 came around I was burnt out from writing a whole novel that year already, revising the one from NaNo, and trying and failing to start a third novel that summer, so I didn't do NaNo. And, uh. Well. In 2023 there was no way I was finishing even a fanfic project at 50k with adjusting to my new job, so I ignored it.

And can I say, what the fuck. Shit went down. If you don't know, there are plenty of rundown posts and like a 2 hour video essay on it. It's fucking insane. A lot of people lost the motivation to participate, and thus the motivation to write at all for some of them. Not me. I got these emails throughout the year begging and pleading they've changed and it made me actually consider writing a novel on my own - outside of Nano - for the first time in 2 years. I hit my stride and was feeling really high during Sapphic September and was like you know what I can actually do this, and god knows NaNo is continuing to pull garbage every day to keep that motivation up. Once I knew I was doing the events for October I thought it was perfect to do those two theme months and then take a break for my novel on my own.

I now have a week to finish the last two chapters by the end of the year (my goal) and I swear to god I'm going to do it. I'm at almost 90k (I know, I'll trim it in revisions, y'all know how I am). My Novelember 2024 retro post has more details on how that has been going. I just hit a run of writers block over ONE SCENE, but I'm past it now and hopefully these last two chapters will be fast. That's like 3 days each I should be able to do that.

And then... let's talk about

Future Plans:

For the first part of January, I'm actually going to be working on outlining a second draft for that novel I wrote back in 2021. It's a sister book to this one so I want to get it to a stronger place. I do want to finish and post the one Catradora WIP I have tho (brace yourselves it's very stupid). Once the Femslash February prompts go up, I'll start working on those and posting throughout February. I miiiiiiiighht do the Big Bang again if I have an idea I think will be long enough and "cinematic" enough for art. I know I'm going to be super busy 2025-2026 (doing a training course for work 6 hours a week this spring, probably changing roles in the summer, hopefully going full-time in winter of 2025/2026, definitely moving in 2026 and maybe doing a smaller move in summer 2025, etc) so I'm trying to be realistic about what I have time for while also trying to set myself up to hit my big goals anyway because I'm honestly so scared to go full-time because I worry I won't have any motivation or time to write. After the last year and a half of letting my novels languish I'm really concerned I'll never write them if I'm fighting through the difficulty of a full-time job while disabled too, so I want to set myself up for success with being ready to query by then because if I had an actual agent/book deal I think it would keep me motivated (or at least force me to work on them lol) and I want to get these novel out there, the characters are super important to me and the thought of never trying is horrifying.

My big goals for next year are this:

Participate in Femslash February of course, hopefully for at least 20 prompts, though I'd love to do them all if they're good ones for me (After February, I'll either work on Big Bang fic - which means I won't be posting anything - or I'll go back to revising novels).

Participate in one more writing/fandom event (whether it ends of being the Big Bang or something else like Sheratober).

Update/post fic at least 32 times (usually my goal is 1-2x a week, but I'm probably going to be on hiatus working on novels for a few months, so I'm kind of halving 52 weeks and then adding a bit more to it for this goal, hopefully I actually still end up with a weekly "average" but I don't want to set up myself for disappointment).

Revise my novel from 2022 at least once.

Get one novel to the state where it's ready to query by the fall (probably requiring 2-3 revisions, unsure if it will by my current novel or the 2022 one yet).

That's all I can think of right now, but I do want to end as I always do with my thank you for reading because without y'all I don't think I ever would have gotten the confidence to actually pursue publishing but all your kind comments and messages have really changed my life and helped with my imposter syndrome so much <3 Ignoring the confidence thing, I would not have written as much as I do with the motivation I do without those comments, so thank you so much 💖

[currytantou]

[translation] Dear Vocalist Evolve Entry No 6 A’ – Animate track / CV: Kimura Ryohei

also x-posted on my wordpress blog / ko-fi page / commission me! as usual, do not repost or use!! :')

0:03 Hmm, it should be around here… Oh? Oh! Found it~! Extra large sunny side up! Yeah, apparently it’s an artwork slash bench! As you can see, it’s the shape of a freaking huge sunny side up! You don’t always get to sit on a sunny side up, do you? ‘Nuff said, we gotta take some photos!~

0:40 Here goes!~ First off, let’s strike a cool face. (camera snaps) Next, go all out and make a weird face. (camera snaps) Lastly, gimme a big smile! Honey, I love you!!! (camera snaps) Wait, wait!! It’s my duty to check the pictures~

Hmm, hm! These turned out nice! Pfft! Honey, that’s way too much effort on that weird face! But, but! Considering how you still looked cute despite the all-out weird face, I expect nothing less from my miraculous girl. What’s your deal, Honey? A’-tan is getting dizzy over your staggering cuteness attack! So, how’s the last picture look like? Whoa! This is bad!! It’s a problem if anyone approaches you! That’s not true! Your eyes weren’t half closed but you looked right into the camera- whoaa! Well, hmm, that’s true. It turned out nice. Actually, it turned out way too perfect that it captured Honey’s super angelic smile! If everyone sees that, they will fall for you! Therefore, I’m not showing these to anyone! But it’s our precious selfies so I should at least send it to Honey. When you’re at home, you can secretly take a peek and recall your Hakone day-trip memories with Darling all you want!

2:29 (phone vibrates) Alrighty! Let’s get going and move to the next place! This place is bigger than I expected and moving around takes so much time. Since we’re here, I wanna briefly check the whole place but they have an outdoor art gallery and indoor exhibition. So if we wanna see both, we gotta be quick. That said, we can’t stay still. Where to go next? Of course, I’m gonna prioritise where Honey wanna go, so don’t hold back and tell me~! Hm? Which is it? Huh? Soap bubble castle? We have no choice but to go! (clears throat) I shall lead the princess to the castle so your hands, please.

3:26 We are here!!~ Hmm? The princess’ castle is being occupied by all those kids? They seem to be having the time of their life, eh? It kinda looks like a damned stylish jungle gym. Now that we’re here, we too should aim for the summit and climb it! (Honey stops him) Huh? R-really?~ Seriously. No way I am stopped by the age limit after all the effort to reach here. But gentleman A’-tan doesn’t mind letting the kids have the castle if that means I can have the princess all to myself. I am way, way more content with this. (kisses)

Nah, this is basically how overseas people say hello. Besides, everyone’s attention is on the castle. So, no problem, no problem! Don’t mind that. You should tell me if there’s any place you wanna check out. Although I said we’re checking all places, of course I’m prioritising Honey’s requests!

4:48 It was long but I sure had fun!~ Makes this whole Hakone trip worth it. Hm? Huh? There’s no presence at the bus stop…Don’t tell me we missed it?! Ahh…Nah, it’s fine. I checked the schedule earlier and there’s no changes. If we get on this bus, we can easily ride the bullet train and go home. That said, let’s sit down. Honey, I’m sure you’re tired. Since we’ve been walking around the whole day.

I know right. We managed to look around but not take our time. Although, well, I came here knowing that. Yeah, let’s come again. How about we stay the night next time and make it a hot spring trip? After all, Hakone is all about hot springs! Doing it right away might be tough but a night stay might be possible after cd release. I know right! I wanna soak in a hot spring! Of course, with Honey~ No way, of course we should! After all this time, Honey?~

Ahh, a hot spring with Honey….Honey out of the bath…yukata…her nape..!! Ahh!! Ahhhh!!! Just imagining it makes me lose it!! That means I’m booking it on the bullet train ride!! Of course, it gotta be a room with a hot spring reserved in it! This will somehow work out if I put all my effort into it! Besides, I still hold a grudge over the jungle training camp the other day. I definitely won’t let ‘em take captive of me suddenly again!

6:43 And that means, Honey, you should tell me when you’re free! But before that..! Bam! (A’ hugs Honey) Don’t worry ‘bout it~ The bus isn’t here yet and there’s no kids around either. I felt excited thinking about the hot spring trip, so I immediately need your lips, Honey~ (kisses) I’m confident I would enjoy myself wherever, as long as you’re with me. But having you all for myself gotta be the best when nobody’s looking. That’s how our next date plan should be. Look forward to it~ (kisses)

ー

tysm for reading <3 ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

[rhersimp]

Rating Every Monster in the first Fear and Hunger on how Hard they Fuck:

For the sake of simplicity, I'm specifically using this list only to talk about Fear and Hunger's Monsters. Gods both new and old won't be included, but humanoid or formerly human beings like the cavedwellers or Pocket Cat will be. Got it? Cool. I’m only making a part two if Miro sees this and demands it of me.

 _______________________

1) Maneba - Something something tentacle sex monster joke yada yada. But for real tho, you'd probably get the same amount of sexual satisfaction jacking off into a plastic grocery bag in my opinion. Plus, talking to them reveals that they aren't very passionate creatures overall, so foreplay would probably suck. 4/10

2) The Guards - Probably some of the most intense dick game you're ever going to get in your life, provided that you survive it of course. Otherwise, they're pretty graceless, they can't dirty talk you, and you might lose one or more limbs. Not a great package deal for most. 5/10

3) Ghouls - Probably your most sympathetic option. The fact that they were once normal humans can abate some of the horrors if you're into fucking corpses. Not to mention that showing them love through marriage to become a more powerful being entirely. Truly a romance endorsed by Sylvian. Just keep in mind the corpse smell is there forever. 7/10

4) Lizardman – A beast for the scalies out there. These guys fight hard and fuck hard, but it's probably a little crude and simplistic. If you're a human, they're probably going to skin you alive at some point, though preferably after the sex? Don't overestimate the lizard tongue thing tho, it's not worth the hype. 5/10

5) The Night Lurch – There are just a lot of rapists in the dungeon aren't there? Like it's not just me? The dungeon must just be primo real estate to these guys I guess. Anyway, their spiny cock is probably a masochist's dream, and the extra prehensile cocks are def a nice touch, but unless you're a biastophile, they might come off a little too pushy in the long run. It would probably be a one-and-done and he wouldn't kiss you goodnight. 6/10

6) Cavedwellers  - Despite the weird, semi-racist implications of their origin, I think these guys are real gentlemen underneath it all. They're likely very practiced from having nothing to do but fuck all day to stay busy, and they'd make sure that you got off before they finished. They've also got some incredible endurance, so they can wait out the long game if you need to. So long as you never attempt to have a conversation with them they'll probably love you long time. 6 or 7/10

7) Miner Spectre and Other Spectres– Something tells me that the combination of existing only as ethereal beings plus the downside of being in a constant state of bitterness and agony isn't a recipe for good head. 0/10

8) Mumbler – This is a case of 'don't judge a book by its cover'. It's sad too, cause they're constantly erect and they've definitely got the goods, but even without the explosion hazard they're pretty unwieldy and hard to smash, plus fucking them is just an increased chance of brain-eating syphilis. Also, they're just terrible kissers. 2/10

9) Greater Mumbler – Now this is a creature of charisma, of elegance and joie de vivre! Unlike their counterparts, they've really got everything going for themselves: supple bodies, sexual versatility, free will from the god of the depths. I really don't think you get much sexier than that. Yes, there's still the explosion risk and the brain illness to consider, but also consider the depthussy. High 7 to 8/10

10) Scarab – I mean, if you can talk to them it might be down to clown. They're pretty reasonable manners wise, so they'd probably try to make sure you were having a good time. There's just no real way to do anything other than hands and mouth stuff, and you can't even get them off as a thank you so the whole affair just feels one-sided and awkward (unless maybe they cum acid?) Don't get me wrong, it's okay if you do tap it, but if I were you I wouldn't brag about having done it, you know what I mean? 4/10

11) Moonless Guard – Considering that the reason this thing exists at all is because a guard convinced a moonless wolf to a marriage is probably a sign of what you're getting into here. Trying to fuck this thing looks like it comes with more downsides then up ones though, mostly thanks to a giant mouth that cannot suck or smooch you. Is the half-animal half-guard dick good enough to risk the endless track marks and the very possible limb loss? Eh. 4/10

12) Body Snatcher – This thing knows the human body inside and out for sure, and it can use its multiple arms to tickle your ass into willing submission. Additionally, as a follower of the depths, it can probably hit your prostate/g-spot pretty fast and hard. If anything, this guy is probably a show-off with how much skill its got. The only turn-off comes from the fact that it's more insect than it is a doll/humanoid puppet figure, and that's more of a matter of perspective than anything else wouldn't you say? 8/10

13) Lord of the Flies - They've good a lot of strong qualities for sure. Big and burly, fluffy, Gordon Ramsey's face, ect. They could also manhandle your ass real good to be really domineering if that's your thing. It's too bad that they're insanely smelly tho, cause unless you get hot for the smell of wet dog rot, you're probably gonna puke all over him and that might kill the mood. Still, if you can stomach the smell, they might be worth it, provided he doesn't just kill you on sight or whatever. 7/10

14) Uterus – You know, I thought these things were called mannequins before looking more into their origins. That was a simpler, kinder time of ignorance. These things were created by a very bad person for extremely niche sexual reasons. Yes, you can sex it up, but know that if you do fuck it, you've earned every bit of judgment and revulsion that comes your way babe. 5/10

15) White Angel – Now this is hunk, pure and simple. Not exactly everyone's first choice what with the lack of genitalia and their dopey-looking arms, but just look at the fucking build of this thing! This guy's prime material for rutting up against on a cold night for sure, and who says hand stuff is off the table completely? He looks like he's got a couple of malformed fingers he could stick up your holes. The whole 'him being born out of your grudges' thing is also incredibly sexy all by itself like c'mon. 7 or 8/10

16) Lizardmage – With the proficiency of the yellow mages and the lizardmen's strength you've got something special on your hands if you manage to swing one of them. It'd be an interesting challenge to make out for sure, but this is probably the closest chance you're going to get to suck and fuck a magic dinosaur. Don't you dare tell me that you'd pass that up just because 'you can't get into a comfortable position' or 'the whole affair feels a little too close to having sex with a horse' or whatever. Pussy excuses! I will actively mock you if you turn down this incredible opportunity. 7/10

17) Cavemother – If you tell me that all you want in life is to smash your frothy sex organs up against the Cavemother, my only response to that will be 'Good, about time'. This poor creature lives for the sole purpose of getting laid and if you make it your mission in life to help them fulfill that goal I think that says a lot about your good and moral character. However, this is definitely a charity project, cause I get the impression smashing this creature probably just feels like rubbing yourself down with beef jerky before you get crushed under their weight anyway. They do have nice tits that can be milked, however. 5/10

18) Crow Mauler – Easily everyone's first choice, and how could you blame them? This dude's got train engine hips that can body you in a minute and abs like a garage door. The fact that he stalks you through the dungeon determined to decapitate you in a single blow is just the cherry on top of it all really. Honestly, your chances of getting laid before he kills your ass are fairly low, but it really comes down to the kinda bets you're willing to take. If you manage to pull it off and still have a pulse you're a goddamned sigma chad beast. 10/10

19) Molded – If you've got a thing for fucking raw meat I guess these are your guys. The whole thing does vibe on like an ero guro type level or whatever. I just feel like you'd also have to be aroused by misery too though, cause these things are sad to just look at for fuck's sake. No hands, arms, dicks, or even a decent fighting strategy, they're truly pathetic. I mean idk dude, feels a little mean-spirited to entertain the thought even. 3/10

20) Blights – They're literal god dinosaurs that can fly around and eat your face off. You could probably manage a much more viscerally graphic and sensual 'magic carpet ride' scene if you were seeking romance beforehand. I'm not seeing much in the way of 'fun stuff to stuff your genitals in' however, and what's more, they kind've have a similar texture to the molded which is kinda ehhh. A unique choice and it'll give you an interesting story, but I don't see it developing into romance or much else after the deed's been done. 6/10

21) Cavegnomes -   The cavemother's kids, but lord are they hella dumb. They seem so unenthusiastic about doing basic shit like even just engaging with you that I have a difficult time understanding where the apple fell in relation to the tree. If you manage to track one down and put your hot bod anywhere near them it's probably not going to last longer than a few minutes and you'll have nothing to show for the wasted effort. Good job genius, you basically just tried to fuck a bird. 2/10

22) Butterfly – Honestly fuck the cockroach king, what a fucking loser. The butterfly is sweet and has an earnest goal they're working toward. If the prospect of becoming their final form came through the two of you fucking they'd likely be down, but I somehow doubt the God of the Depths is that good-natured. If you're anything like me you'll probably want to baby him and make the whole affair very sweet, especially rubbing his lil wing nubs a bunch as you kiss his proboscis. If you are anything but gentle and sweet to the butterfly I will hunt you down myself. 7 or 8/10

23) Human Hydra – Now I know what you're thinking, 'Isn't this thing basically already just a big orgy ball of people as is? What will adding my weight actually do in the long run?' The answer is nothing! It's virtually useless! You'd have a better time losing yourself to the Sylvian bunny cult, cause at least they're not going to taunt you with COD lobby-level insults about your mom or whatever. 1/10

24) Black Witch – Just your average working-class gal living it up in the dungeon. Probably into some freaky pain-play magic stuff thanks to Gro-goroth so if that's up your alley then you're definitely in for a good time for sure. Not gonna lie tho, her lips look hella chapped and while I can completely sympathize (chapped-lipped girl gang for life), it does raise the question of how much bodily maintenance she's up kept to this point. Then again, you're fucking monsters in a dungeon so like…why am I even bringing this up? Whatever, she's got a mad sexy laugh. 7 or 8/10

25) Iron Shakespeare – The Statue of Liberty's sexy serial killer cousin. While kissing is probably off the table unless you like the taste of rusty coins, it looks like it'd be a lot of fun to spank his iron butt armor just to hear the 'PTUUUUUUUNG' sound that would come out of doing so. The fire is a bit of a hazard, and maybe you don't want to get too serious in the throes of passion as a result, but grinding up on some semi-warm metal probably isn't too different from your average night alone amirite y'all? 7/10

26) Trotur – This guy was definitely banned from most BDSM munches and it really shows. The dude does not have a safe word and does not care about whether or not you get off or not. Just a really horrible dom all around and I would not recommend giving him your Fetlife account. Like yeah, I get that there's someone for everyone out there, but I promise you that endurance is a finite resource and eventually this dude's 'I'm going to torture you past your human limits' act is going to get old. 3/10

27) Skin Granny – I'm just thinking that if that's what it'll do to your face imagine what it'll do to your foreskin amirite? 1/10

28) Salmonsnake – It's got good voring potential, and I imagine that its skin is probably very self-lubricating which gives it some points. The tongue also has some interesting capabilities, but truthfully, it comes across as a monster you'd have more fun eating seasoned than eating out. Then again, there's no rule saying that you can't do both, just make sure you tell people you fucked something closer to a dragon than an axolotl so that people will be more impressed. 6/10

29) Double-Headed Crow Mauler – I wish I could say that there's never too much of a good thing, but in this case I feel like you're not going to get a double dose of all the good stuff if you know what I mean. Still, it might be nice to have a partner coax one of the heads into some heavy petting while you go nuts on it from the other end. He'll definitely murder you both once you're done so it's absolutely worth the effort imo. 9.5/10

30) Red Man – Poor little guy, fuck Ronn Chambara's sadistic ass. This dude just needs some kisses and loving whispers and he'll be super sweet on you. It'll probably be the first pleasurable experience he's had in a long time, so don't take it too personally if he tries to smash you with his big fists at first. It might be kind've brutal foreplay, but patience and care will turn this angy boy into a gentle pile of salami.  7/10

31) Nameless – This guy is very much about quality control, so he's not going to let just anyone slob his knob. I like to imagine that he holds the exact same trials to bone him as he does to pass through the Golden Temple. Suffice to say the man (golem?) has high standards, very much so for what ultimately boils down to fucking a giant rock. Also, unless you're really into the taste of grit, this might be a make-out session worth skipping. 4 or 5/10

32) Old Guardian – A big ol' Alll-Mer simp, he's definitely going to play hard to get. Still, I don't see why that should restrict the guy from getting some game on in the meantime. Aside from his amazing fashion sense, I imagine that he and the Nameless are probably alike in many ways, the biggest of which being that they're both sentient rock people who probably fuck like rocks and have very high standards. The main difference between them is the patience of the Guardian, so chances are you can stand to fuck up a little more moves-wise around this guy and he'll be less judgemental. Well, you know, hopefully. 5/10

33) Harvestman – ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 10/10

34) Lady of the Moon – Normally I'd just chalk this up to being a Maneba on classy mode, but there's genuinely some sexual provenance here. She's got three very kissable faces and I imagine it would probably feel really nice to run your fingers through her tentacles. Sure, she might ask you to commit some child trafficking, but that's just the sort of trade-off you have to decide is worth your while or not! How far are you willing to go to get sloppy toppy off one of Rher's finest minions? And is anyone really gonna blame you for falling into the temptation? Probably, but fuck 'em. 8 or 9/10

35) Pocket Cat – Speaking of Rher's finest minions and all, I'd be remiss not to include the man, the myth, the legend himself. He's a gentleman, a man of consent and good standing and good breeding! It's too bad that you're probably too old for him in this go around, but again, I'm sure that for the small price of child abuse he'd be willing to give you a little peck on the cheek. Is it worth it? Yes. 10/10

[caxycreations]

If I lose out on the victory points from ONE MORE MATCH because of a little shit that can't handle losing...

Several matches in a row now, I've had the other player quit out the INSTANT they would have lost.

Most recent one was especially infuriating.

Rant below the cut, with a lot of game-specific terms and info.

Yes, I'm pissed, I paid $90USD for this fucking game and I want to have a good time, but every single match I wind up suffering from boredom because nobody else in the goddamn community wants to actually FIGHT.

See, I play SSj4 Gogeta, and he's pretty hated in the community. Why is he hated, you ask?

Because he has an ability to instantly go into Max Power/Sparking mode. Sparking mode gives the following benefits:

Boosted melee damage

Boosted ki blast damage

Boosted Super damage

Access to one use of your Ultimate

Instant Movement if you block while moving in any direction

Increased max number of ki blasts per volley

So it's a pretty big deal, you know?

SSj4 Gogeta also requires 3 Skill Stocks to USE that Instant Sparking Ability. For reference, Skill Stocks start at 0 for all players, and -slowly- build up over the course of the match.

Normally, to enter Sparking Mode, you need to have a full ki bar, at least one Skill Stock, and then you need to charge for ~3 full seconds to enter Sparking Mode by filling the ki bar a second time, which is ONLY possible while you have a Skill Stock.

So, the biggest thing people hate about fighting SSj4 Gogeta is that he can enter Sparking...For three times the cost of entering Sparking normally, and for more than twice as much of a wait, because of how long it takes to get Skill Stocks to charge up.

They also dislike his stats; he does just way too much damage, apparently, despite Mr. Satan, the lowest damage character in the entire game, being able to do about two thirds of an entire health bar of damage with one combo (you get 3-4 health bars), which is BARELY LESS than Gogeta.

And he gets 1 extra health bar. But, given how much damage EVERYONE does, that means next to nothing.

So, to recap, people hate SSj4 Gogeta because:

He's able to "instant Spark" after waiting several times longer than just -Sparking normally- (and it leaves him vulnerable the entire 2 seconds he's activating the ability)

He has 12% more damage per hit than Hercule, the lowest-damage character in the game

He has 1 more bar of health (several characters match him, but the people whining never play those characters) so he can take -one- more combo or -one- more super than normal, and ultimates don't insta-kill him.

So you may ask yourself "Well Caxy, how do you play? Are you abusing these things?"

FUCK NO.

I don't waste my time with supers or ultimates. Every time I've ever bothered using one, it's been blocked, perfect-dodged, or Skill Countered (actual name of the ability, if you have 2 or more Skill Stocks you can Skill Counter to deflect or negate the attack entirely) because supers and ults in this game ARE NOT WORTH THE EFFORT unless you know, beyond all doubt, that you CAN get them off.

So I'm a melee fighter. I get right in your face and wail on you until you die.

In theory.

See, there's another ability. Perfect Counter. If you hit the right buttons at the right time, you'll not only perfect-block the hit, but you'll counter with a knockback.

And that leads to some really good fistfights, with both players trading hits back and forth, trading PCs, etc

It's fun, when they actually want to fight you.

Enter...

The Problem™

Nobody wants to fight.

They'll PC, knock me back, then start charging ki, and they will do that over and over, until they can either use the Super they want to use, or they can hit Sparking and ult me.

Now, on most characters this isn't an issue. I'm pretty good at dodging a lot of the common Supers, and the Ults are pretty garbage unless you secure a stagger so your opponent can't dodge or block before using it.

But the ones that upset me are specifically Broly, the Legendary Super Saiyan, from Dragonball Z.

Why?

Because his ki blasts gain infinite use when he enters Sparking, he has an Instant Spark ability, and every single Z Broly player does the same thing:

Focus on pure defense until they can Instant Spark, knock you away, activate Instant Spark the picosecond after hitting you away, then spam ki blasts at you until the last segment of their Sparking, at which point they cast their Ultimate.

Why is this frustrating, if Ultimates are so easy to handle?

Because the ki spam means you're stuck guarding or deflecting the blasts, and can't dodge, and Z Broly's Ultimate is Unblockable so you HAVE to dodge it.

You can't just let him hit you, cause then you'll be staggered when he casts. But you can't block or deflect either, cause then you'll be mid-animation.

Even abilities like Afterimage Strike and Wild Sense, which auto-dodge one melee, super, or ultimate, will not work against his ultimate.

So, what specifically happened to piss me off enough to type up ALL OF THIS?

I fought a Z Broly. I melee'd him to about half of one bar left. He managed to knock me back and pop instant sparking. He spammed ki blasts. He hit me with his ult. I had half a bar left. Evenly matched. Perfectly balanced.

I ran in for a melee, stunned him, then gave him a taste of his own medicine by popping my own instant sparking, stunned him again, and cast my ult at point blank.

You know your ult hit when a cutscene plays showing the ultimate animation. It started to play, I watched him "disintegrate" in the beam, and the second he did, BEFORE the cutscene was over, before it counted my win, before his last tic of health disappeared...

He disconnected from the match. Alt+f4'd his way out of the loss.

Which returned me to the lobby, without gaining the Rank Points for the win, because the match "did not conclude", because he disconnected before it could be done.

He was so determined to win that he relied WAY too heavily on the cheapest trick in the game.

He was so determined NOT to lose that he hit alt+f4 instead of taking the loss and moving on.

I fucking hate the kind of people that make up most of the communities of EVERY fighting game, but when the game itself DOES NOTHING to punish players for playing like douchebags, it's even worse.

The "penalty" for quitting out of a match? A warning that you quit out last time. Do it too often and they -slightly- increase how long it takes you to queue up.

The worst part is there's a setting to specifically exclude players with a high quit-out rate, which I have enabled so I don't get quitters, which means that guy has a clean record but for some reason just COULD NOT stand the idea of losing to me with his cheap-ass trick.

Fuck Bandai-Namco.

Fuck Spike Chunsoft.

Fuck the guy playing Broly.

[miyuti]

♡ Midsummer Legacy ♡

(graphic design is my passion coUGH.. you can even see my lazy brush strokes....)

Yet another Legacy Challenge, wow Miyu, you've really outdone yourself now huh? Anyway.. Welcome back! I've been in retirement for quite a while, but I'm back now to give a (hopefully) more thought out legacy challenge that I will do my absolute best to see through to the very end.

Be prepared, this is going to be a long post, but to summarize this challenge: It's going to be inspired by my favourite holiday from my home country, Swedish Midsummer! It's going to span a few generations, so under the cut you will find more information about the rules, generations, themes, etc. Thank you in advance for giving me the time!

Before We Start ♡ Below I will be listing a few things to keep in mind while doing the challenge.

1. No Need to Stick to Theme! If you feel like you like the rules but not the theme, feel free to change it! There's no need to make all the sims floral, or.. frog shaped.... Just go nuts!

2. Changes to Rules If a rule stresses you out, don't feel ashamed to change it. I admit I ignore some of my own rules whenever I'm having off days, no shame in it.

3. Mods You may mod the game as much as you want! Just make sure you're not cheating any milestones, fears, skills, moodlets, needs, aspirations, or anything that might take away from the challenge! (Change if necessary)

The General Rules ♡ These will be the rules for all the Generations!

1. Travel Fee For every world you visit you must pay 50 Simoleons, this excludes; Active Careers, Active School (be it through mods or via HSY Pack), or neighbourhoods in the world you currently live in. The Travel Fee includes Festivals. Pay up

2. Moving Lots You may not move out from the lot you chose at the start.

3. What happens, happens If you accidentally burn your house down and don't have a fire alarm, do not restart the game! Keep playing, see it as a more interesting challenge or a great option for storytelling!

4. Traits Randomize all traits! Including your Founder!

5. Start with 0 Simoleons!

6. Lifespans I prefer if you play this on Normal Lifespans, but it is ultimately up to you!

Generation One ♡ Flowers in Bloom

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Career: Gardener

Generation Goals:

Complete your Aspiration

Complete the Gardening Collection

Have a greenhouse anywhere on your lot

Have your lot be worth 25k Simoleons at the very least before having children

Marry your spouse surrounded by flowers.

Planted in Spring, Bloom in Summer, Wilt in Fall, Buried in Winter. "Keep your head high, Young One. The process will repeat, your flowers will welcome you with open arms next Spring."

Generation Two ♡ Frogs Leaping Through the Grass

Aspiration: The Curator

Career: No Restrictions

Generation Goals:

Complete your Aspiration

Complete the Frog Collection

Max Dancing and Fitness skill.

Only have one child.

Max your career.

"Small Frogs are very curious to observe. No tails, no ears they possess. Leaping through the grass in search for new adventures... You miss them, as do I, but they will be back. Eventually.."

Generation Three ♡ The Midnight Sun

Aspiration: Soulmate

Career: Style Influencer

Generations Goals:

Complete your Aspiration

Max Charisma and Flower Arranging Skill

Max Career

Have Triplets. You may cheat this if it doesnt happen naturally. (I'm not sorry, we suffer together)

Before having children, make sure to complete the 2/4 stage of your Aspiration.

What is the Midnight Sun Alone? Nothing but a painful reminder of the warmth you cannot experience. "Will you love me until the Sun burns out?"

Generation Four ♡ Strawberries & Cake

Aspiration: Master Chef

Career: Culinary

Generation Goals:

Complete Aspiration

Max Career

Max Gourmet Cooking & Mixology Skill

Complete the City Living Food Stall Recipe Collection

Successfully Cook & Eat Pufferfish Nigiri

"Strawberries..! Have you ever tried them with unwhipped cream and sugar..? It's the best! Now THAT is the taste of summer! Open wide!"

Generation Five ♡ Bugs & Herbs!!

Aspiration: Live Fast Teen Aspiration Outdoor Enthusiast

Career: No Restrictions

Generation Goals:

Complete BOTH Aspirations

Complete the Insect Collection

Max out Wellness & Herbalism Skill

Meet your Spouse in Granite Falls

"Mom..! Look at this ladybug!" "Wow! Can you count how many spots it has?"

Generation Six ♡ Horses in the Pasture

Aspiration: Championship Rider

Career: Unemployed

Generation Goals:

Adopt a Horse

Complete Your Aspiration

Make at least 45k Simoleons from selling horses

Have at least two mini sheep and two mini goats on your lot

Complete 20 Community Jobs involving your own Horses or Mini Sheep/Goats

"I love waking up to the sound of the farm.. It is the most soul soothing sound in the world.."

And thats it! I hope you enjoy the challenge, and as stated earlier, if you feel like anything is too much or too little, dont be afraid to edit the challenge to your liking! Thank you so much for stopping by, and I hope you have a wonderful day~

[lolotheparagon]

Sofia the First Season 4 in a Nutshell

Oh boy... Season 4. The one with the Wicked Nine story arc.

Day of the Sorcerers - 1/10

For some inexplicable reason, the writers wanted to redeem Cedric and finish off his story arc of being a villain, DESPITE 3 ENTIRE SEASONS OF HIM CHANGING PASSIVELY OVER TIME AND BECOMING A GOOD GUY AND A GOOD TEACHER TO SOFIA AND THE CHILDREN, BUT NOPE WE GOTTA HASTILY CONCLUDE THIS CHARACTER ARC. SO LETS HAVE HIM TAKE OVER THE KINGDOM AND ACTUALLY NEARLY SUCCEED ALL BECAUSE THE BILLY WEST WIZARD AND A BIRD PERSUADED HIM WITH VERY LITTLE CONVICTION. Its fucking hilarious cos at the third act, all it took to get Cedric to stop usurping the throne was Sofia giving him a glare like a child angry at her dad for not picking her up from soccer practice. And despite nearly taking over the kingdom, Cedric gets a second chance thanks to Sofia and her mum and everything just goes back like nothing happened. WOW ITS ALMOST LIKE THIS WHOLE EPISODE WAS COMPLETELY FUCKING POINTLESS.

The Secret Library: Tale of the Eternal Torch - 2/10

Remember, kids. If you have a history with invaders constantly trying to take over your home at every opportunity, befriend them! Its always good to share your land, even though its your land by right! Thank god we're dealing with dragons here not people, otherwise this wouldve been REALLY FUCKED UP. I mean this is fucked up, but still.

The Crown of Blossoms - 9/10

Finally, an episode that didnt make me wanna gouge my eyes out! A wonderful lesson about not using other people's valuable treasures for a festival and you should rightfully give it back to them. Even the boring Clover being greedy sideplot doesnt bother me.

Pin the Blame on the Genie - 0/10

Oh great, another episode about the Culturally Fucked Up Genie Police and the kid genie getting needlessly harassed and villified by the public all because of one racist wizard's opinions. Btw its established that the Genie Patrol have prison cells for misbehaving genies, WHILST THEYRE IN THEIR LAMPS. So its a prison within a prison. WTF?!

The Mystic Isles - -5/10

So, this is the famous Mystic Isles special...Honestly, for a world that's supposed to be where all magic originates, this is pretty dull. Like isn't the world of Sofia the First already magical as fuck? There are magical creatures everywhere in Enchancia, what makes this place so special? Also I really dont like the alicorn Skye, his oldtime medieval mannerisms get older after 5 minutes and it really feels like the show one-upped poor Minimus, since he was Sofia's first flying horse. Oh yeah and Sofia wants to be part of the Crystal Justice League or some shit, cos we need SOMETHING for our main character to do!

The Mystic Isles: The Princess and the Protector - 4/10

A tough fairy named Chrysta becomes Sofia's mentor into becoming a glorifed cop for the EverRealm and because she has this preconception of Sofia being this spoilt snob because she's a princess, Chrysta proceeds to not teach her anything and snark at Sofia throughout the majority of the episode. In any other series, this would be hilarious but here, I just feel sorry for poor Sof. I really grew to like Chrysta later on but this was NOT a good first impression.

The Royal Dragon - 6/10

Crackle and Sofia in Spyro form joins a dragon summit and the former fight with her egocentric rival in order to get people's attention cos her rival always steals people away from her before she can even make friends. Ngl I was expected to hate this episode but it was worth it to see that Crackle's rival is just as insecure as she is and made up half her boasting was made up so people would be friends with her. Also Sir KMR the Knight appears again to play schoolyard pranks on a bunch of dragons cos he's a petty bitch lol

The Mystic Isles: The Mare of the Mist - 6/10

Minimus is understandably pissed off that Sofia arrived with a brand new alicorn TM as her new best friend and tries to string along both of them on her new mission to find this mystery horse for a test. I dreaded this episode was gonna go with Sofia gaslighting poor Minimus into thinking Skye is the better companion and he should deal with it. But No. Sofia couldnt even finish her test cos the mystery horse she was looking for chastises her for not considering Minimus' feelings and favouring Skye over him. I like that, it really puts Sofia in a humbling position and helps her realise how important Minimus is to her.

Through the Looking Back Glass - 9/10

Its a good Cedric episode so its already a step up and we get to see Calista again, which is always fun. We find out the actual reason why Cedric has had this reputation from everyone, especially his sister Cordelia, that he was this bungler who would never amount to anything, and its revealed to be a completely accident which Cordelia forgives him for and apologises for all the teasing and petty rivalry she had with him over the years. Its a very sweet victory for Cedric and I honestly wish THIS was the final episode of his character arc than Day of Sorcerors cos it really shows how much he's improved as a person since Season 1 and that he doesnt need to take over the kingdom to prove his worth. Side note: I love how Sofia and Calista team up to clear Cedric's name and its cute to see Sofia act like a big sister to Calista.

Princess Jade - 8/10

Wasn't expecting a non character like Jade to get her own spotlight episode but here we are and its really sweet! I love how Jade was originally excited to go to Royal Prep to be with her bestie Sofia when they found out Jade's a descendant of royalty but quickly grows to hate it when she realises she'll never see Ruby or any of her village friends that much anymore, her entire life is changed upon this revelation...AND THEN WE GET A FUNNY AS HELL SIDEPLOT WITH AMBER BECOMING A MASTER ARCHITECT. Why wasnt this an entire episode alone about Amber being into architecture, that is wicked cool?!

Ivy's True Colors - 0/10

Ooo, the villain Princess Ivy's getting a redemption? Skip

Too Cute to Spook - 10/10

And we now return to our scheduled programming of serotonin-filled spookiness cos this time Sofia, Lucy and her toxic witch friends are doing trick or treating and Calista wants to join in but they dont want her to join cos she's too adorable to be scary and they're worried she'll "cramp their style." But Calista just wants to have friends and make Sofia happy. Man, I miss when Sofia the First episodes were like this.

Pirated Away - 8/10

After crashing into a pirate ship by accident, Miranda, Sofia and Amber have to help a bunch of geographically challenged pirates find a golden figurehead so Sofia and the family can see a meteor shower along the way. We get to see Miranda being a bad ass mum, Amber learning to respect her mother's word and have a heart to heart talk with her and a lesson about just fucking listening to people.

The Mystic Isles: The Falcon's Eye - 5/10

Oh goody, another Mystic Isles episode and this time, Sofia has to search for the Wicked Nine, a bunch of magical items belonging to the greatest Disney villains of the past to stop the villain from the Mystic Isles special, Prisma from gaining all their powers. Cos apparently Sofia the First really needed a daedric artifact storyline.

The Mystic Isles: The Great Pretender - 4/10

The Mystic Isles: A Very Mystic Wassalia - 7/10

Okay, the fact Chrysta has spent the whole of Christmas with Sofia doing protector tasks in order to distract herself from her incredibly lonely life cos she has no family or friends to spend the holiday is truly sad. I really felt for her when Sofia rounds up everyone in the Mystic Isles for a Christmas party. Just...awwww.

The Birthday Wish - 10/10

Sofia has a shit birthday so she wishes for a redo of her birthday and she gets it...40 times over. Yknow that segment with Huey, Dewey and Louie in Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas? Its basically that but with Sofia slowly going insane. The biggest highlight is definitely Sofia getting more exasperated and pissed off with each repeat. Its so rare to see Sofia mad or even angry cos Sofia's a very grounded kid who's got a big heart so seeing her being pushed to the limit is hilarious. And as always, there's a good lesson about looking on the bright side of things, which is especially true since Sofia still had a pretty good party to begin with, despite how chaotic things got.

In Cedric We Trust - 8/10

I feel like this whole episode was an apology for Day of Sorcerors cos this ep tries to address the fact Cedric nearly usurped the throne a few episodes ago and Roland's not happy about that. But unlike a lot of kids shows where the villains make shoddy attempts to atone for their actions and the characters just immediately forgive them without any repercussions, Cedric is nowhere near the levels of vile monster levels of Starlight Glimmer or Catra so im a lot more on board with Cedric's redemption cos he's got a far better track record of being a good person than any 2010s redeemed villain combined. Also Cedric earnestly trying to restore Roland's trust not just to get everyone to trust him again, but also because the two shared a friendship together when they were children is very sweet. I kinda wish that was explored a lot more in the show earlier. I wouldve loved more Roland and Cedric bonding.

The Mystic Isles: A Hero For The Hoodwinks - 5/10

Clover wants to be a hero like Sofia so he pretends to be one after hitching a ride to the Mystic Isles and manages to garner a fanbase of flying hedgehogs. Trust me, its not as exciting as it sounds.

The Mystic Isles: Undercover Fairies - -5/10

Another boring Chrysta episode, this time its about Chrysta having a bad experience with other fairies cos they all thought she was too rough and tough and not delicate enough to be a fairy. I mean, good for Chrysta to embrace her femininity but I really dont care at this point.

A Royal Wedding - 10/10

Aunt Tilly's wedding? Okay sure, but what if there was a main plot where its revealed Amber is actually the heir to the throne, not James, causing him to have an identity crisis and immediately tries to humilate Amber in front of the whole reception but nothngs working cos James still thinks Amber is her season 1 self, not her current self who's mastering all her royal duties like a pro and not caring about getting her dress dirty. So he accidentally summons a sea monster, which causes havoc at the wedding and can only be calmed with the promise of cake. So Amber, Sofia and James work together to stop said sea monster and the twins reconcile, James makes up for his actions and Amber dubs her brother First Knight. A heartwarming episode with a dash of crazy shenanigans thrown in. Finally, James gets a good story right before the show finishes.

The Royal School Fair - 3/10

Its nearly the end of school for Sofia and the gang but the former doesnt know what school she wants to go to after finishing Royal Prep, so everyone tries to get her to join their personal fave school rather than one of them sitting down with her and actually working it through with her. Oh and for the cherry on top, Amber signs Sofia up to join a school WITHOUT HER CONSENT and despite being called out for it, Sofia decides she wants to go there anyway. OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. WRITERS, YOU HAVE ONE JOB, DONT TEACH KIDS TO BE COMPLACENT WITH PEOPLE'S BAD BEHAVIOUR.

The Lost Pyramid - 4/10

Sofia and the gang are exploring the inside of a pyramid, where they have to rely on different senses other than their eyes to solve the pyamid's riddles? Nice! A blind princess who's also an archaeologist?? THAT IS SO FUCKING METAL I LOVE THAT AND OH MY GOD, HILDEGARDE. GO AWAY!

Return To Merroway Cove - 2/10

"Remember, kids. If your parents are infantilising you and don't think you're capable of handling more difficult tasks, prove them right! That'll show 'em! Wait..."

The Elf Situation - 8/10

Sofia encourages James and Amber that just because a peace summit is looming over them and that they're trying to prepare being future monarchs with newfound responsibilities, doesnt mean WE CANT HAVE FUN. And she's right! You guys are in your early teens, enjoy life while you can before the ! Btw i love how 3 kids managed to solve a years-long rivalry with two elf clan leaders in one afternoon when the king took years to get them to reconcile but to no avail lmao. Especially when the two elf leaders in question were mostly petty squabbling and got along the moment someone suggested to do something fun. See, Sofia's always right!

Forever Royal - -6/10

The sheer mood whiplash from an absolutely wholesome first act that wouldve been a great bookend to the series with Sofia graduating Royal Prep, Amber training to be queen, James becoming a full-fledged knight in training and everyone in Enchancia is all coming together to celebrate how much our main character has grown over the couple of years...only to spend the last two acts of the special hastily wrapping up the entire Wicked Nine story arc with a brand new villain instead of the one we've been building up over and the season, complete with higher stakes, a world-ending threat and ending with Sofia defeating said villain like a Kingdom Hearts cutscene spiritually reminds me of this

CONCLUSION

Oh boy this was a difficult season to get through. S3 had a weird story arc with the Secret Library, but at least that wasnt NEARLY as intrusive as the Wicked Nine arc, where it clearly felt like Craig Gerber tried to crowbar it into the season, especially for how out of place the usual episodes are. Craig said in one of his podcasts that the Wicked Nine was meant to be a serialised story arc for the whole season but Disney shot him down, saying that it'll be too complicated for a pre-school show. And honestly, I fully get behind Disney on that. But Craig had enough creative power to jam that shit in so we're stuck with a boring ass daedric artifact plotline that meanders until the finale, clogging up what couldve been a decent season to wrap up the series.

Still, apart from that awful last season, I really recommend Sofia the First. It's such a cute, fun show that has its problems and defnitely isnt for everyone as its very straightforward in its themes. But if you like musical numbers, silly characters and cute saccharine stuff like me, you'll like this show just fine.

Peace out, bitches

[soliro-moonlight]

Woke and chose violence today so have an unnecessary list of how long it took me to make the transparents based on what ibisPaintX.

Yes, I do these by hand. Is there a better way to do it? Yes, but do I hate myself? ...well my arm seems to think so. Anyway, here's the shit post:

1. Shinigami in Yuma's art (0:13)

Tried to boom kill me since I yeeted her from Yuma's art so I gave her a transparent. Easy to do since she is basically a blob, but she's cute.

2. Seth sitting (0:21)

Couldn't stop cackling when doing this. This man had a chair in the main game but in the art book he looks like he is going to drop the most mid rap album. Immediately faceplanted when I was finished.

3. Desuhiko sitting (0:22)

His wavy hair was annoying but it was in big chunks so it was easy to manage. Overall his design is so cute especially with those big shoes but I did slap him when I was finished.

4. Vivia sitting (0:30)

His hair was more annoying than Desuhiko's given they are smaller, but I got through it. Belts were cool to transparent. Fell asleep two seconds into the process.

5. Yakou sitting (0:30)

The chair was easier than I thought to transparent but points docked for Yakou's hair being so curly and thin. Love the man but I have half a mind making him bald.

6. Guillaume sitting (0:36)

Her chunky hair. It's so nice and big enough where it's not annoying but there is so much of it. Def took time but the rest was fine.

7. Original Yakou art (0:48)

First attempt at making a transparent so not too bad of time, but at the same time I just did just one of the Yakou. Couldn't do the jacket version cuz his hair was going to kill me. Didn't help the scans colors were off so his hair def got chopped in the process.

8. Original Vivia art (0:51)

Second transparent I made and it went moderately better given I also did his jacket. Like with Yakou I probably chopped some of his hair off and those strings, but he didn't care.

9. Yuma art (0:55)

Over the best of the character sheets to transparent so far. No little fly away hair, no wavy curls, and no strings. Worst part was probably the ahoge, but it was nothing compared to the other hair I had to deal with. I love him so much, I'm gonna transparent him more.

10. Halara art (1:32)

Bribed them with cats to get them to work with me, but it was a smooth process. The worst part was they were so pale and their hair was so white it was hard to distinguish them from the background. Almost chopped their hand off in the process.

11. Seth art (1:40)

Nothing really notable other than his poncho is really nice to transparent. It's big and his bunny ears are so cute. Also I almost chopped off his neck cuz his uniform is so white and it was hard to distinguish it from the background.

12. Makoto art (2:10)

I swear Makoto heard how fun I was making the transparent for Yuma cuz his string thin hair was a pain to deal with. It was made worse compared to all of the others having white backgrounds, his is tan, making it hard to distinguish which was hair or not. The fact it didn't take it longer cuz I threw out one of his back art cuz it was the same.

13. Guillaume art (2:57)

The chunks. The chunks of her hair. It's so cute, but it's hard to erase around. I created a whole new system to get through her specifically. Although it was worth it cuz Guillaume gave me a horoscope reading. She told me to give up, fun.

Bonus: Yomi transparent I forgot to post (3:06)

Honest to God it was just a blur to me, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't hell. Took longer cuz I measured his waist and he was fighting with me the whole time. But dw, I got the results. Yomi's waist is 13 cm.

[flaylore]

[TRANSCRIPT] X

0:27 X: I don’t remember how long it’s been.

X: I’ve lost count.

X: …I’ve lost count?

X: About what?

X: The only thing I remember is…

0:53 X: Love.

X: I really want love.

X: I’ve heard about it so many times, yet I still can’t figure it out.

X: It’s gotta be something really fulfilling to have..

X: ..to feel..

X: ..to even experience…

X: …Right?

X: You won’t be whole without it. You can’t be you without it.

X: I’ve told people I love them too and yet..

X: You need love…

1:43 X: Need…

X: I need it?

X: What’s that supposed to mean? Am I nothing without it..?

X: What’s the difference between you and me?

X: I deserve love too, yeah…?

2:10 X: No matter what, they…

X: They won’t stop talking about it.

2:20 We love you. You mean so much to us.

2:26 X: That’s right…I..

X: I can’t stop hearing about it.

2:34

2:41

2:50

2:59 X: I get it now…!

X: So then to be loved… It means I have to be special…

X: I really want it.

3:20 X: I want to be loved…

3:25 X: To be loved more than anyone else. A whole lot!

X: But to do that…!

3:36 X: I just have to become special!

X: Special like no one else!

3:45 X: I’ve drawn a couple things before, this is my calling!

3:54

[pacing back and forth in front of canvas]

4:04

[Dark shadowy figures move away from ‘?’]

4:10 His grades are… …well if he puts his mind to it

X: Look, the bottom of the line is…

4:27 X: Some things just didn’t work out for me.

X: Or maybe I didn’t have the right skillset to learn..

X: But… the worst of all.

4:47 …Why do you keep talking like that?

4:54 X: ..What?

4:58 You need to stop treating yourself like that, it’s..

5:07 X: No, you don't understand. I just wanted to..

5:15 What’s wrong with you…

5:24 X: …?

5:27 Hey..You’re not a bad guy, it’s just…

5:34 X: Ha….haha.

X: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

X: It makes sense. I’m a complete failure in every sense of the word!

X: Someone like me who is just a burden on everyone around them!

5:55 X: ..I don’t know when I started thinking like that.

X: One day, these thoughts just began to fill my head.

6:08 X: Why did I even try, haha…

6:12 X: Now I noticed, that…my mind was off

X: ..or at least people told me.

X: You might think I’m an idiot. A fool.

X: After all, some skills can be learned over time, right?

X: But how can I do that… when my mind is like this?

6:42 X: It’s kind of funny now.

6:50 [white figure walks back and forth the entire time] X: I don’t know what to do.

X: I thought that…

X: I had everything figured out…

X: Everything really hurt a lot.

X: At first.

X: Y’know because … I really wanted to…

X: More thoughts like that continued, but…

X: I was thinking too much. I should just move on.

X: I may not be special, but that’s alright…

X: I’ll just… Live my life the way I…

7:39 X: After a while, I just didn’t… care anymore.

X: I was just going to go on living like usual…

X: Maybe not anything special or of worth, but… Hey!

X: I like living this way. I’m fine like this

X: Yeah, I’m fine.

X: I’m fine.

X: I’m fine…

8:20 [white figure stops walking] X: ….You’re…

8:32 X: When I Met That Thing

8:36 X: You… How are…

8:39 ???: Are you really fine with living this way?

X: …Huh? [looks around]

8:46 ???: If you were really fine, you wouldn’t be putting on act.

8:54 X: My Life Got A Whole Lot Happier.

8:59 X: Listen… Things just aren’t in the cards for someone like me, haha

X: It’s okay, I just wasn’t born with any real skill

9:09 ???: How convenient.

9:13 X: …

X: Not the ones that matter to me anyway

9:18 X: Much. Much. Much Happier.

9:23 [small flash] ???: Don’t worry

???: Your other skills are currently… Preoccupied.

9:31 X: Extremely. Happy.

9:34 [small flash] [another white figure appears]

X: …

X: …

X: …Huh?

9:42 X: But, before that…

X: I wish I never even saw it.

9:53 …

X

10:20 “I think everyone is special..!”

10:29 ?: “/I/ am and always will be a problem”

X: “So…”

X: “..Why do you of all people.”

X: “..get to have things I don’t?”

X: “I couldn’t stand it. Why did it have to be you?”

10:58 [music starts playing]

X: “So I decided…what’s yours is mine.”

X: “…Hey.”

11:16 X: “It’s that time of year again”

11:27 X: “Happy Birthday.”

[nullbutler]

Season 2 but it's only when Alois is around

so I just finished rewatching season 2! I made TO THE SECOND time stamps of every time Alois Trancy appears on screen (as well as a few other notable things, such as when the explicit/violent parts happen, when Luka appears, and a few lines that were worth mentioning). here is your Tumblr Alois Stan Season 2 Survival Guide! While it's not everything (I didn't write down the post-mortem Hannah eyeball scene) it is 95% of the Alois content in that season!

This was using the version currently avaliable on Netflix. if the season has been cropped or altered on other streaming sites, I don't know how helpful this guide will be! sorry about that! Also, while I tried my best to warn potentially triggering subject matter, and I'm pretty sure I got all of it, I am not 100%, so if you're going to rewatch the season, please get in a headspace where you know, there is a small chance you might see something. The worst, however, has been caught

TIMESTAMPS FOR THE CSA

EP#1 CLAWED BUTLER -- 0:00-1:14

EP#8 DIVULGING BUTLER -- 9:06-10:36, 12:36-13.59 18.35-18.46

EP#9 HOLLOW BUTLER -- 16:43-16:57

Episode 5-7 have a lot of Alois scenes, but nothing in relationship to his trauma, so if you want an entirely 'safe' and non-triggering viewing, those are your best bet! Episode 1 is also fine, if you start it directly after the opening

TMESTAMPS FOR OTHER DISCOMFORTS

If I were to try to keep track of all of this, then the list would be extensive and long BUT in regards to Alois in particular, a few scenes did jump out at me as being potentially a little ... weird

EP#1 CLAWED BUTLER --

9:27-9:42 (Druitt says something weird and pervy)

EP#8 DIVULGING BUTLER --

0:00-2:02 (Nothing explicit, but he is naked, bandaged, and the camera is...you know how the camera is. Some weird dialogue too, between him and Hannah and Claude. It's nothing too bad)

3:39-4:31 (The Hannah scene. Some people told me they were uncomfortable with the way he tackled her, even if it was just the camera being a little weird)

(If the triggering stuff really bothers you, just don't want Divulging Butler, that episode was...weird)

LIVE LUKA REACTION

EP#8 DIVULGING BUTLER -- 5:02-9:04

EP#9 HOLLOW BUTLER -- 11:45-13:15

EP#11 CROSSROADS BUTLER -- 14:58-16:25

EP#12 BLACK BUTLER -- 12:05-12:28

ACTUAL TIMESTAMPS

It'll take ages to jot these down, so here are the pictures of the notes I was taking. Every time Alois Trancy was on screen, I took note of it

Uhhh fun fact my therapist called me halfway through and I had to write down a number. That's what that scribbled out thing is. Haha...oh, if only she knew...

ALOIS OUTFITS

Also, as per something @hateweasel said, I decided I had to keep track of what outfits he was wearing throughout the episodes. And I can proudly say the little shorts only show up in episode 1, 2 minutes in episode 5, all of the scenes of him in the present in Episode 8, and all of the scenes of him in Ciel's mind palace in episode 12. So about 20 minutes total. This is out of the approximate 50 minutes of Alois Time in the series, with his other outfits cycling in at the maid dress, the devil costume, his normal outfit but with trousers, and then Ciel's outfit while he's possessing him, and then his clothes as a kid.

Here is a diagram. I made up those numbers. I could have added it second by second, and that was my plan, and I started, but it was really really boring

NOTABLE LINES

Some things I just found funny

EP#1 CLAWED BUTLER - Druitt says 'Among us' at 9:55

EP#5 BEACON BUTLER - Alois licks Ciel at 15:34-15:40. It should be noted he spends like 10 seconds proceeding that playing with Ciel's hair and Ciel DOES NOT pull away from him or even seem that disturbed. Huh.

EP#7 DEATHLY BUTLER - There's these shots as the two butlers fight each other where they show the boys reacting. We get 'live Lois reaction' at 6:12, 6:19, 7:39, 9:01, 10:18,10:38, 11:27

In the same episode, the piss line is at 15:23-15:50

EP#9 HOLLOW BUTLER - Ciel actually says he feels regret after Alois dies. This is at 10:10.

Alois's village is also revealed to be called Arachnophile. Ah.

Alois is dead at 20:39

EP#11 CROSSROADS BUTLER - while possessing the body of Ciel Phantomhive, Alois actually tries to hurt himself. It's kind of painful to watch. This occurs at 6:23-6:59, 11:57-13:07

EP#12 BLACK BUTLER - Alois speaks last at 12:05

[kakusu-shipping]

1, 2, 4, 11, and 18 for the end of year asks? :0

Aaah thankyou Echo!!! This post might be long, please forgive me!

1. Did you add any F/Os to your list this year? Were they from new media or just a newly discovered love?

Here's every romantic F/O added to the list this year, or at least that I can remember adding this year. Years are long and my sense of time is very warped so it may not be fully accurate.

Most are from new media, or just new parts of media, like the end of the Owl House and the New Pokemon Games. The ones that are new loves from re-visits are Heracross, Smeargle, and Keckleon from Monster Mind, Mario and Luigi from Super Mario, Makarov from Fairy Tail, and Jill from The Wayward Children series.

Though Mario and Luigi are also what I consider my first F/Os, they weren't officially on the list until the movie came out, so I'm counting them in the 2023 yearly wrap.

2. Did you reconsume any of your F/Os’ source media this year? How did you feel about the rewatch/listen/read/etc?

I rewatch Assassination Classroom every year in March and it makes me cry every time. I also replay Hatoful Boyfriend and Holiday Star every December for Kazuaki and Hitori, watch Baka and Test sometime around late Summer most years to ease my seasonal depression, and rewatch Mushishi at least once a year.

Other than that, nothing super meaningful. I rewatched a few LPs of Mario games, replayed through Paper Mario myself, watched Romantic Killer again, Reread Manly Appetites every other month or so, watched The Cat Returns once or twice, played more Pokemon, Restarted Monster Mind (still haven't finished it), and skimmed the Ouran Manga at the library while waiting for them to replace the volume they're missing.

HOWever, this latest reread of Down Among the Sticks and Bones is what got me to finally put Jill on the F/O list, so that feels worth mentioning. I love that book <3

4. Was there anything on your blog that you were particularly proud of this year?

No, not really. My drawings were all very incomplete and sketchy this year with long gaps between them, and my writing really flaked off suddenly, I haven't written more than a paragraph at all this year.

I wouldn't say I'm particularly proud of them, but I did really enjoy making moodboards last month and am kind of waiting for my health to settle so I can get back to them. Making stuff for other self shippers is a lot more fun than writing/drawing for myself atm.

11. Was there new media for any of your F/Os this year? If so, what was your opinion on it?

Yes FNaF Help Wanted 2 came out and gave us New Sun Content and I LOVED IT!!!!! He's such a bitch!!!! A shit!!! A snobby theater kid!!! He's so controlling and harsh I LOVE him <3 So happy to know more about him honestly and that he's not all UwU Caregiver that the fandom made him. I like soft characters, but he's a HORROR character he needs to be a little fucked up!!

18. Did you have a favorite trend in the selfship community from the past year?

I'll be honest, I don't pay much attention to what other people in the selfship community are doing. I follow the tags but if there's like a popular trend thing going around, I miss it every time.

My LEAST favorite right now though is the whole "Stolen from an Anti" thing. I have no qualms about stealing posts it's whatever, but I hate when it's says that in text at the bottom of the post. Just tag it as such so I can filter it please

[fusillisarah]

2023 Reading Roundup (44 books, Predominately Romantasy)

I graduated from university and started my big girl job this year, take a look at what I was reading as I passed these milestones! I read FOURTY FOUR books this year and I’m so proud :)

Vampire Academy Series: Richelle Mead

Vampire Academy, Frost Bite, Shadow Kiss, Blood Promise, Spirit Bound, Last Sacrifice

10/10. Comfort books. Love the arc, love the direction. Slow burn mentor/student. Set in modern day. Romantasy.

Dune & Dune: Messiah: Frank Herbert

Dune is a 10/10. Incredibly worldbuilding. Anyone with any interest in sci-fi should read. Messiah went a lot quicker, less complicated and fleshed. 5/10 I didn’t really enjoy it. Maybe I’ll push through one day…

King of Scars Duology: Leigh Bardugo

King of Scars, Rule of Wolves

I love love love Six of Crows, and I didn’t feel like reading Shadow and Bone just yet, so read King of Scars. 7/10 I probably should have read Shadow and Bone but now I probably never will, basically got the gist of it. Didn’t have a lot of background but the story is rly good. Love love love Zoya!!

A Court of Thorns and Roses Series: Sarah J Maas

A Court of Thorns and Roses, a Court of Mist and Fury, a Court of Wrath and Ruin, a Court of Frost and Starlight, a Court of Silver Flames

12/10. Perfect down to the last minute detail. Epic fantasy, worldbuilding that had my jaw on the floor. Must read.

Fourth Wing: Rebecca Yarros

9/10 quick and easy read. Loved the dragons in this one. I’m a sucker for Enemies to Lovers so I basically exactly what i signed up for. Little scared for series though… ahh!

From Blood and Ash Series: Jennifer L. Armentrout

From Blood and Ash, Kingdom of Flesh and Fire, Crown of Gilded Bones, a War of Two Queens, a Soul of Ash and Blood

4/10. First 2 books were really interesting, third one actually totally lost me and in the middle of the fourth I ended up reading all of the Cruel Prince books in the middle of it lol. Determined to not have a DNF this year so I came back, finished it, and read the god-forsaken Soul of Ash and Blood. 0/10 I hated every second of that book. It’s a complete retelling with maybe 2 or 3 chapters that are actually interesting. Yes, I know I read all 5. No, I have no technical regrets. Take that as you will.

The Cruel Prince: Holly Black

The Cruel Prince, the Wicked King, the Queen of Nothing

Good, no spice obvi and super popular but I loved Jude’s character and was obsessed with the politics. Super intriguing I blew through these. 8/10

Verity: Colleen Hoover

6/10, read it in like a day and a half but I don’t rly like thrillers, they scare me lol. It was good tho and my first Colleen Hoover book, not sure if I would read another one but I did really like this one and the ending was super crazy. read it as a palate cleanser after Cruel Prince. I’ve realized if I don’t have a non-high fantasy palate cleanser I fall into a reading slump lol.

Once Upon a Broken Heart Series: Stephanie Garber

Once Upon a Broken Heart, The Ballad of Never After, A Curse for True Love

OUABH is 9/10, honestly such a wonderful book, perfectly captures the hopeless romantic of Eva and allure of Jacks, but TBONA is SHOWSTOPPING!!! 12/10. So amazing, love the storyline, never bored, such good romance it’s the most well written romance I’ve read in a while- screeching halt for ACFTL- I’ve put my thoughts on this blog but it felt so empty compared to the lifeblood in the first 2 books in the series. Definitely worth the read though.

Throne of Glass Series: Sarah J. Maas

Throne of Glass, Crown of Midnight, Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, Empire of Storms, Tower of Dawn, Kingdom of Ash

Nothing to be said that’s not already been said. Amazing. I love sprawling epics. Not a ton of romance and tbh I’m not a Rowan girly. Defending Chaol til I die tho. 10/10

Twilight: Stephanie Meyer

6/10. I’ve written about this one but I just felt like it was super juvenile for my tastes, I was expecting to like it more and it was just kinda eh. Needed a little more something something but that is of course a me problem. I just think I am not a big fan of YA anymore.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue: V. E. Schwab

Wonderful story, totally lust for life after reading, made me so excited about the ending. I felt like there was so much more to be told which is like exactly how I wanna feel reading a book. 8/10

Divine Rivals: Rebecca Ross

At first I was not rocking with the pacing, I feel like this book could have been a lot longer. But when I finished it I actually was more on board with the speed and it was super sweet. Good found family aspect. 7/10 will for sure be reading the next one.

Plated Prisoner Series: Raven Kennedy

Gild, Glint, Gleam, Glow, Gold

I love love love LOVE these books! Pacing is amazing, you can see exactly how Auren’s trauma affects her character, Malina has gained a fan, just huge fantastic series here. Cannot wait until the last one is out. 10/10

Thanks for reading! Feel free to drop me a book review for 2024! Happy new year everyone!