#+ the dream mask 🥴
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can i get an eager, inexperienced gojo? he is probably so silly and loving during sexy time but he still acts like a horndog, not sure where to touch, kinda nerv but tryna cover it up bc he’s the strongest sorcerer, ofc he’s been with so many ladies before!!!! (he hasn’t but he doesn’t want YOU to know that)
love your works as always stay safe💗💗💗
AIN'T NEVER DID THIS BEFORE, NO.
𝐆. 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 — 五条悟
NOTE: this made me think of that j. cole song so i looped it while writing all 2.3k of this fic 🥴 i hope u like what i did!! mwaaa smooches!! hope ur well <3
🔞 mdni / 18+ content
SUMMARY — Gojo's saved up his virginity ever since he met you, savoring every wet dream through the years until he finally got the real thing in a hotel room in Okinawa.
WARNINGS — fem reader, n.sfw content, profanity, pre-established relationship
SMUT WARNINGS — virginity loss, light dirty talk, nicknames (good girl, sweet girl, daddy), Gojo's so nervous and inexperienced wheee😩💗, protected sex/condoms used, multiple rounds (2), kitty eating, giving him head, fluffy ending scene, lmk if i have missed smth and pls overlook errors i'm slepy asf it's 2am
Wordcount ≈ 2.3k
Playme ♪ wet dreamz
🍒 𝐉𝐚𝐲 — サクランボ ⋅ 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 !
You can’t miss the way his Addam’s apple shifts up and down when he swallows, or the way he gawks when you wiggle out of your clothes and toss them off the side of the hotel bed.
Where are my hands supposed to go?
He’s thinking that while haphazardly squeezing a large handful of your hips and hotly kissing your neck.
This has been his long-anticipated dream come true… see, Gojo Satoru met you in high school. And the first thing he thought to himself was I want her to take my virginity. So, he had promised himself that one day, when he was older, he was gonna give it to you.
All his cheeky flirting and dirty jokes got him here, in this room of some dreadfully expensive hotel in Okinawa. Yes, he’s cheesy, as cheesy as he was when he used to lean over his desk during high school to whisper dumb pickup lines into your ear; he requested rose petals and wine. He had the lights dimmed. He laid you down with kisses right on top of those strewn petals.
Crazed, feverish, eager, overwhelmed; he was bursting with a bunch of feelings – predominantly horniness. He’s always had that horny twang about him, he was unashamed about it around you – it’s what got you hot for him in the first place, the fact that he was so bold with his dirty jokes and naughty hints.
But now he’s struggling to find his words. Now that smart mouth is sparsely throwing out witty remarks. Now he was heavily relying on comedy to ease his nervousness and mask his inexperienced movements.
He let you roll on top and savored each kiss that you pressed down his chest – heaving, he was heaving and hot already and all the two of you had done so far was romantic French kissing and tentative touches across each other’s bare skin.
The heat of your flushed cheeks seared his lower abdomen.
How low is she gonna go – oh my god what do I do – play it cool – oh my god is she actually – wow this is really happening.
Such a mess of goofy thoughts passed through his mind when you pressed a testing kiss to his glistening cockhead. Giving the slit a lick made his shoulders scrunch up, and his voice shook a bit, “Shit, baby, you don’t have to do that if you don’t w – want to… oh fuck…”
“But I’ve wanted to suck it so bad, I’ve thought about it so much.” You batted your eyes at him.
His stomach flipped.
“O-okay… ” he breathed. In the back of his mind, he was self-conscious about sounding like a virgin… because he totally was. And he wasn’t masking it very well when you started kissing and licking on his cock.
Feling your tongue swirl circles around his bulbous head, then swiping the underside, nearly made him bust right there. It took every bit of this strong boy’s strength to hold it in. And there was a lot to hold in.
“Oh that’s so fucking good.” He moaned.
You lowered your lips down his slickened cock, the warmth and texture of it delighting your tongue. Taking in his scent, his taste, his sounds – when you hollowed out your cheeks and suctioned your lips around him, he let out an uneasy moan. He was really gonna bust right there in your mouth if he didn’t tell you to ease up.
“B-baby, you’re so good at that – but – but fuckkk – slow down f’me…” he pleaded, big hand coming to the back of your head as you slid off his cock – that also almost made him bust. Oh god, you unknowingly edged him. Maybe you knew that, because you giggled at the way his cock jumped and visibly twitched after popping your lips off of it.
“Sorry, you good?” you asked him sweetly. He looked at you through lust-glazed eyes, his lower lip glistening with a bit of drool.
“ ‘m okay – fuck come here and get on your back. ‘Wanna do that to you too.” He commanded you, eagerly shuffling positions.
He lowered his face between your legs, marvelling at the shiny wet sheen smeared across your inner thigh. A thin web of juice connected from your hole.
“Sorry, I know it’s rude to stare.” He chuckled, joking to lighten his nerves. But earning a laugh from you made his heart flutter before he dove right into it – now here’s where you realized something.
He was inexperienced. Totally. Sweetly so. His tongue flicked and darted around, swiping along your slit, gathering your juices like he was thirsty. The way he licked you up felt like he was some college boy giving his crush head in a lucid dream.
But if there’s one thing you know about Gojo Satoru, it’s that he can do anything he tries. You started out giggling and squirming on his face, and ended up squealing his name and arching your back. Switching between suckling at your clit and lapping at your folds and slipping his buttery tongue into your hole – he was having fun figuring it out.
And my god, he had the biggest, smuggest, most smackable grin on his face when he made you cum.
“W-wipe that grin off your face.” You panted, half-dazed from your orgasm.
His grin only grew wider. Now he was feeling a bit cocky, a little high on a sugar rush of confidence because he just made the girl of his dreams cum from a little amateur tongue-fucking.
“You musta really wanted it bad, huh?” he teased, crawling up to meet your face and pressing a few wet, sloppy kisses to your awaiting lips. You could taste yourself, and he was conscious of that – and it made him almost bust on your tummy. You felt his cock jumping and twitching and throbbing against your skin.
“Don’t get all smug now…” you muttered.
His plumped, flushed lips hovered over your face. “Thanks for the meal.” He whispered jokingly, wiping your juice off his cheek with his thumb and suckling it off.
“Hahaha what!” you broke out laughing. “You’re ridiculous!”
He ran his tongue over his lips to tease you, “Tasted better than in my dreams.”
Now that made you flush hotter underneath him. Because for some reason, it hadn’t occurred to you that he had wet dreams of you. But he did. And he was too embarrassed to admit the number – it was big. He dreamed of you a lot. Especially taking you from the back… so naturally
“Turn around f’me, please?” he asked, “I wanna see you from the back.”
Your lack of hesitation to switch positions for him made his heart thump.
“Good girl…” he muttered under his breath, unsure of how you’d take the nickname. But hearing your giggly hum and seeing your hips wiggle up to his pelvis reassured him that you liked it.
So he engulfed you from behind, “You like that?” he whispered into your ear, big hand smoothing over the curves of your body to get a good feel of it. “Want me to call you a good girl?”
You nodded into the plush pillow, “Yes please. I like it.” You mumbled into the fabric.
“Can’t hear you, speak up.” He smiled against the shell of your ear teasingly. “Daddy’s hard of hearing.” He joked.
You rolled your eyes at his dumb goofiness. For some reason you thought it would switch off in the bedroom, but no – he was just as much as a dumb good in and out of bed.
“ ‘call me your good girl, please. I like it.”
His cock twitched. He’d started rubbing and pressing his cock into you from the back. The way your thighs and plush little pussy hugged him was better than any dream – lucid or not. And he’s had a lot of lucid wet dreams of you. Of this, specifically; taking you from behind. In his dreams, he’s pounding into you so good that you cream and cream and cream all over him. He just hopes he can actually achieve that in reality.
When he lowers his hands and fists his cock a bit before running the head between your folds, a pang of nervousness strikes his chest. That feeling came over him – that realization that oh, I’m gonna have my first time.
“So pretty…” he compliments, one hand soothingly caressing around your pussy.
To you, it almost feels like he might have done this before – you’re not sure – with the way he lightly smacks his cock on your hole, and the way he tests your smallness by slipping his tip in and out, you think he’s probably got at least a bit of experience under his belt.
But no. No, not at all. Not even a little bit. In fact, before you, he only kissed two people – and the first didn’t count to him because he hated it, and the second also didn’t count apparently because he was just practicing with Suguru in anticipation of kissing you one day.
“Fuck me…” he hissed through his gritted teeth when he finally sunk more than his tip through your hole.
“Fucking didn’t expect it to feel this good…” he thought out loud. “Might bust right here… fuck.” He blurted, then proceeded to boyishly blush.
Little hole squeezing on his virgin cock, hips wiggling back to meet his pelvis and take him deeper, you pawed behind you to feel him. “Baby, I-I gotta tell you something.” He begins embarrassedly, the nervous twang in his voice is so unfamiliar that you look back at him. “I’ve never done this before…” after he said that he sucked in a breath through his teeth at the feeling of your hole tightening and untightening.
You blink at him, and he’s worried for a split second before you smile sheepishly and tell him that he’s your first, too. Well, that little fun fact is what made him snap his hips against your ass and start fucking into you like he was some sort of crazed animal. He felt dizzied with the rush of pleasure, so stirred by the feeling of your pussy sucking his cock – there was no comparable thing in the world to him right then. He was definitely gonna become a sex-crazed fiend after this night, he thought. Absolutely. How could he not?
“S’toruuu – right there right there!” you cried out his name with such a pretty, strained voice that it made him want to tell you he loves you.
“Here? You like it here?” he hit that spot harder and harder, the squelching sound so dirty that you almost felt ashamed for a second. “My good girl gonna cum like this? Yeah? F-fuck t-t-tell me when you’re close ‘cause I’m close – really fucking close – fuck fuck fuck ahhh ‘gonna cum!”
He’s driving into that sweet spot while he cums, spilling a warm creamy mess into the condom – completely falling to pieces. Gojo’s always been inclined to obsessing over things, and he knows right then – when he cums with your quivering pussy sucking him in – that he’s gonna be obsessing over sex with you after this.
“Keep goinggg ‘m gonna cum too, please!” you whimpered from underneath him. He heard you, he was attentive even though he was panting and dazed. His thrusts got sloppy and he weighted on your body more heavily, you could feel his heartbeat.
“Good girl – g-good girl, rub your pretty clit. Want me to do it for you? M’kay sweet thing, lemme get you there – ah yeah? That feel good? You like daddy’s fingers toying with this pretty pussy? Oh fuck you’re gonna cum aren’t you?” he breathed all that into your ear and it absolutely destroyed you, especially with how those intense blue eyes piercingly stared down at you from behind.
“Get that relief, pretty girl – cum all over me. Fuck, there we go – oh wow…” he hit another sweet spot, feeling you gush and writhe under his imposing frame got him close again. “Fuck, baby – just a second, j-just a second ‘m gonna get ‘nother condom, n-need to fucking cum in that pussy again.” He pulled out quick, fingers struggling to free his cock of his already filled lil’ rubber. Squeezing into another one was one of the fastest yet most frustrating things he’s done in a while – oh, you just know that he’s gonna ditch the condoms as soon as you give him the green light to do so. Patience, he thought. He’s gonna need patience and a lot of rubbers.
“Ah fuck me! Satoru!” you arched your back when he re-entered.
“ ‘m gonna cum again, baby – fuck – s-sorry is it too much?” he breathed into your neck. Sweat beaded down his torso, down his thighs – both your bodies pricked with just enough sweat to make it erotically uncomfortable.
You barely managed to tell him that it wasn’t too much because of the way he was sloppily hitting his cockhead into your pussy. Feverish, dazed, pussy-drunk and love-drunk, you felt his hot lips nibbling at your shoulder, then he unexpectedly sank his teeth into your skin. It wasn’t sore, but those canines were a bit sharp.
Muffled moans on your skin sent a shiver down your back, one that travelled to your ass and thighs.
Rolling off to the side, panting and laying exhausted and unmoving.
“Fuck.” He muttered as if to say that was mind-blowing.
“Fuck.” You agreed.
“And ya didn’t even tell me you were a virgin!”
“You didn’t tell me, either!” you giggled, rolling into his embrace.
“But it’s hot if the girl is a virgin!”
You laughed with him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked.
He stayed silent for a little while, pulling you closer and caressing your shoulder. The two of you stared up at the ceiling.
“It’s embarrassing.” He admitted. “There was a time I wanted to lose my virginity just so that when I finally got to you, I’d be able to please you better. But I’m glad I waited…”
“Mmm really?” you hummed, he felt your smile print on his chest.
“…yeah.” You could hear his little smile in his voice. “I’m glad I gave it to you.”
#♥️ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 — 五条悟#🔞#mdni#smut#gojo#gojo smut#satoru#satoru smut#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#jjk#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo saturo#jujutsu kaisen#jjk gojo#jujutsu gojo#gojo x fem reader#jjk satoru#gojou satoru x you#gojou satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen satoru#tw: smut#virgin gojo#is that even a tag who knows#hey u i see u there#did u read all my tags thats so koot here is a cookie 🍪
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Dream Demon 18+…
Summary: You finally come face to face with the demon that torments you in your dreams…
Warning: smut, demon smut, unprotected piv, slight choking, Oral (f receiving) lemme know if I missed anything.
A/N: In case you couldn’t tell, this is a nightmare on elm street AU. Mann I love kinktober 🥰😋 Also sorry if it seems rushed. I JUST finished it and it’s 3am 🥴 so def not proofread either.
I should’ve known. I didn’t believe in fate or the supernatural, but after countless nights of sleepless terror, a part of me began to wonder if I had crossed some line unknowingly. Each night, the boundaries blurred a little more between my dreams and reality.
It started innocuously enough, the man… or should I say demon, with broad shoulders, ink-laden arms, and piercing brown eyes—showing up in my dreams. Alluring in a predatory way, his presence both thrilled and terrified me.
In the beginning, the nightmares were vague. I’d find myself in dark alleys, the air thick with fog and whispers of something lurking behind me. I could sense he was chasing me, his footsteps echoing in the distance, but I could never see his face. The fear of what I might find kept me running, night after night.
Tonight adrenaline coursed through my veins as I bolted through the alleyways, shadows dancing in the edges of my vision. My body was going weak, and He finally caught me, grabbing me tightly. I screamed, and fought to get away, while he chuckled darkly. I kicked and squirmed with the energy I had left and reached up in desperation pulling off his mask. Before I could even get a look at him everything went black.
I woke up, gasping for breath. The darkness of my room coming into view. I looked down noticing the soft fabric of the mask still clutched in my hand. It was as if I had plucked it from an alternate realm, its texture cool against my skin, adorning three symbols I’d never seen before. Lying back, I knew I had to do something—I needed answers.
So, I got up, sitting at my computer plunging into research. I found few articles that dove deep into the convoluted world of folklore and legends about dream demons—beings that thrived on fear and chaos, feeding off the dreams of the living. I stayed awake for hours reading as much as I could about it all. The only way to survive it…was to face it.
Tonight was the night I was gonna face this demon head on. The mask now sacred, I placed it carefully under my pillow. As I closed my eyes, I whispered a desperate prayer for strength.
The transition was immediate. I was no longer in my room; instead, I stood in a dark field, the grass rising like waves around me, tickling my thighs. The air was heavy with an unshakable dread, and the familiar sense of apprehension crept in. I spun around, the moonlight illuminating a figure standing only a few inches away. Him.
This time I could see him clearly, and the sight made my heart race in a way that was exhilarating yet petrifying. His dark hair fell into his eyes, but the way his smile sliced through the night air made my breath hitch. “I think you have something of mine,” he said, each word slithering out like a caress, deep and hypnotic. My heart thudded, caught between fear and a strange allure.
I screamed internally as he took a step closer, the shadows wrapping around him as if he were a part of the darkness itself. My body refused to cooperate; I stood there, frozen—a statue carved from dread. I should have felt terrified, yet the way he looked at me stirred something primal within. He moved closer, as my voice finally escaped my throat.
“No!” I cried out, but it was futile. He closed the distance in an instant, grabbing me tight with a taunting smile. Suddenly, I jolted awake, the bedroom around me swinging into sharp focus. But something was wrong—so terribly wrong. He was there, straddling my hips, those tattoos now visible and vibrant against the pale moon light. My stomach dropped; the air thickened as his presence overwhelmed me.
My instinct was to wiggle free, to escape the impossible, but his large hand shot out, wrapping around my throat with surprising gentleness. A whimper escaped my lips, and I felt heat rush to my cheeks in a mix of terror and— desire? I couldn’t comprehend it; a demon had appeared in my bedroom, yet part of me was inexplicably drawn to him.
“Look at you,” he murmured, his brown eyes scanning me with a perverse enjoyment. “For a dreamer, you’re awfully cute.” His playful tone was mocking, and it ignited a fire in me. Embarrassment coursed through my veins like a poison, and I fought against him again, but a cold chill gripped my limbs. The way he assessed me spoke of a deeper hunger—what did he want with me? My eyes slowly traveled down his face, scanning his entire large form.
He was a giant compared to me. I couldn’t help the feeling of want coursing through my veins. His hand suddenly tightened around my throat, making my eyes shoot back up to his. “Keep looking at me like that,” he leaned closer, his breath a warm whisper against my skin, “and you’re gonna get fucked.”
His words peeled back the layers of fear, laying bare something raw and responsive deep inside me. The intersection of horror and seduction turned my blood to fire. I grit my teeth, trying to hide my desperate need for him, but he just chuckled. It’s like he could sense my growing arousal, he leaned closer, his lips almost brushing against mine. "You like what you see, don't you, sweetheart?" His hot breath fans my face, sending shivers down my spine. I nod, unable to find my voice, my heart pounding with a mixture of fear and desire. His eyes gleam with satisfaction, and he chuckles, the sound low and sensual.
“What do you want?” I managed to ask, feeling bold even beneath his suffocating presence. His free hand trailed down my body, his touch electric. My cheeks flush, and I feel a warmth between my thighs grow as he teases me. Feeling ashamed of my body's reaction, but I can't deny the pleasure his words and touch invoke.
He studied me, the smile fading into a mask of seriousness. “I want you to stop running, Y/N.” His grip tightened as he met my gaze fully, an odd intimacy forming. “I want you.”
In those words lay a terrifying truth. I was drawn to him—deeply and sublimely dangerous—and part of me was exhilarated by the idea. This was no longer the harmless figment of my imagination; he was real, tangible, and undeniably alluring.
“Why do you want me…?” My voice trembled, trailing off obviously not knowing his name. He smirked whispering softly “Noah.” Noah? Thats such a normal? Name for a demon. I was expecting something creepy or a name that would be hard to spell. His voice interrupted my thoughts continuing.
“and because fear is the sweetest flavor,” he replied, his voice dipping low, dripping with dark promise. “And you’ve been offering it up nightly.”
The more he spoke, the more the boundaries blurred again. Fantasies of escape intertwined with visions of dread, and I wasn’t sure whether to resist or surrender. The dance of power shifted between us, thrilling yet terrifying, and I quickly made my decision.
“Why don’t you taste that fear for yourself,” I challenged, breathless, confronting the depth of my emotions. His expression shifted, amusement flickering behind his eyes like something alive. “What if I told you the real question is whether you’re brave enough to reach out?”
And in that heartbeat of hesitation, I realized the truth: he wasn’t merely a demon set on tormenting me. He was the embodiment of the darkest parts of myself that I had been too afraid to embrace. I had conjured him night after night, and now he was here—teetering on the edge of seduction and danger.
“Please Noah.” I whined, my heart thundering in anticipation. "Ill take care of you baby," he smiles, his voice husky. "But first, I want to hear you say it. Tell me what you want." I bit my lip, feeling vulnerable and exposed under his intense gaze. "I... I want you to fuck me," I stammer, the words shocking me as they leave my mouth.
His eyes darken, and he grinds his hips down, his hard dick pressing against my core. "That's right dirty girl. You want my cock inside you, don't you?"
I nod, whining at his words. My breath now coming in short gasps. He finally closes the small gap between us, kissing me. His lips claiming mine in a fierce, passionate manner. His tongue invades my mouth, demanding and possessive, and I respond eagerly, my hands tangling in his hair.
His free hand roaming over my curves, squeezing and caressing everywhere he could reach. He teases my nipples through the fabric of my night shirt, making me moan into his mouth. He yanked my shirt up, revealing my bare breasts.
His mouth descends, leaving a trail of hot kisses down my neck, making me arch off the bed. His tongue swirls around my sensitive nipple, sucking and biting gently, eliciting gasps and moans from my lips. His hands travel lower, sliding beneath my soaked panties, his fingers stroking my soaked slit.
"So fucking wet," he growls, his voice thick with desire. "You've been dreaming of this, haven't you?" I can only nod, my eyes rolling back as he slips a finger inside me, his thumb circling my clit. He teases me, building the pleasure until I’m writhing beneath him, begging for release.
"Please, Noah, I need more," I plead, my voice hoarse. He chuckles, the sound dark and hungry. "Not yet, baby. I want to feel you come on my tongue first." He pulled his fingers away, ripping my panties from my body. The burn against my skin making me moan.
He grasped my thighs and spread them wide, exposing my glistening pussy to his hungry gaze. "You're fucking gorgeous," he growled, his voice hoarse. I whined softly as his fingers trailed up my thighs, leaving a trail of fire. My body trembled, desperate to feel his mouth against me.
He lowered his head, his breath tickling the inside of my thighs. I sucked in a sharp breath as his hot tongue flicked across my sensitive clit, sending a jolt of electricity through my body. His mouth was hot against me. His tongue flicked my clit again, before pushing inside of me. I let out a loud moan, as he fucked me with his tongue, his nose bumping against my clit each time he thrusted it inside of me.
He slowly drug his tongue upwards, before sucking my sensitive clit into his mouth. His fingers joined back in, two of them sliding inside of me, making me gasp and squirm. "Please... Noah," I begged, my voice breathless. "I need more." He chuckled, the vibrations of his laughter against my throbbing clit almost pushing me over the edge. "Patience, baby."
His tongue thrust deep inside me, exploring every crevice, while his fingers worked their magic, circling my bud relentlessly. I grabbed his hair, tugging it as the pleasure intensified. He groaned against me. His mouth was everywhere, devouring me, his tongue and fingers bringing me closer and closer to the brink.
"Oh God! I'm gonna cum!" I cried out, my hips bucking uncontrollably. He growled in response, his mouth never leaving my throbbing cunt as he continued to feast on me, drawing out my orgasm until I was screaming his name, my body convulsing in waves of ecstasy.
He pulled away, sitting back on his heels, as licked his lips. He smiled teasingly, as his large hands ran up and down my thighs. “You taste so fucking sweet baby.” I whimpered, reaching for his jeans. He chuckled darkly at my desperate state. I fumbled with his belt, finally getting it open, and wasted no time unbuttoning his pants. Pulling them down just enough to let his cock spring free, my jaw dropped. The fact that I’m about to fuck a dream demon completely leaving my mind.
He was huge. His grip tightened on my thighs, as I reached out gripping his dick in my hand. His eyes dropped down watching me stroke him slowly. “Fuck baby…” he groaned, slowly thrusting into my hand, before he yanked his belt free, wrapping it around both of my wrists securing it tightly. “As much as I’d love to have you play with my dick until I cum, I’d rather fuck your brains out right now.” He growled.
He positioned himself between my legs. His hard cock stood erect, throbbing with need, reflecting the urgency we both felt. He grasped my hips, pulling me closer to him, leaving me spread wide open and vulnerable. He gripped my tied wrists in his large hand, and held them against my heaving chest.
With one swift motion, he plunged deep inside me, filling me completely. I cried out, my body trembling as he began to move with a relentless rhythm, his hips slamming against mine. The force of his thrusts was overwhelming, sending waves of pleasure and pain through my sensitive body.
His dominance not failing to drive me absolutely wild. He controlled the pace, his strong body pinning me down as he pounded into me. His hand that gripped my wrists, drug them up and above my head, rendering me completely helpless beneath him. I could do nothing but submit to his relentless assault, my body responding with eager moans and needy whimpers.
"You like it rough, don't you, baby?" he grunted between thrusts. "Tell me you love my dick." His other hand gripped my jaw, making me look him in the eyes.
"I-fuck! I love it so much!" I cried out, my voice hoarse and desperate. "Harder please." I whined.
He complied with a growl, increasing the force of his thrusts, making me see stars with each powerful stroke. My headboard pounded against the wall, a steady beat to our primal rhythm. I felt my pussy clench around him, milking him, craving every inch he had to offer.
He leaned down, his lips finding mine in a fierce, hungry kiss. Our tongues tangled, mirroring the intense rhythm of our fucking. He broke the kiss, his breath tickling my ear as he whispered dirty words, only adding fuel to the building inferno within me.
"You're so wet, baby. Your pussy is so fucking perfect," he growled. "You're gonna make me cum." His words ignited a new wave of pleasure, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, urging him even deeper. I bit my lip, drawing blood, as I teetered on the edge of another mind-shattering climax. "Cum for me, Y/N," he grunted, his voice thick with desire. "Show me how much you love it."
His command sent me over the edge instantly, and I exploded around him, my walls squeezing every last drop of pleasure from him. His deep growl vibrated through my body as he reached his peak, flooding me with his hot cum, as he fucked me through it.
My mind became fuzzy, as he leaned down pressing his lips against mine once again. This kiss was different. His lips moved softly this time. his tongue slowly licking against mine. I whimpered into my mouth, and he pulled away. His voice becoming distant, as everything went black.
My eyes flew open, as my body jolted up right. I looked around my entire room searching for him. Noah. Where is he? Was actually ever here? My heart thudded loudly against my chest. Was it just a dream? The feeling of disappointment fills my mind, as I see no sign of him anywhere.
When I look down I see his mask laying beside me. I pick it up, running my finger over the fabric. I sigh, throwing off my covers and getting out of bed. When my feet hit the floor, I notice my underwear laying there….ripped. A smile hit my lips, at the confirmation that it definitely wasn’t a dream. For last month I have dreaded going to bed, afraid of the nightmares…afraid of him…but now? I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.
#noah sebastian#bad omens#badomensimagines#noah sabastian smut#noahsebastiancult#bad omens cult#imagines#bad omens band#bad omens smut#kinktober
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Perhaps Wally x a darling with a wonderful singing voice? 👀👀
ohhh yes yes yes i love this one!!! what a precious idea;;; i hope you like this one, anon 🥰
Wally Darling x Reader with a Wonderful Singing Voice headcanons
🎶 the first time Wally hears your voice, he is utterly enchanted. although the Welcome Home neighbourhood is bursting with friends and their unique voices, no one holds a candle to you. Wally loves to sing, and even though he can't hold a tune to save his life, he's absolutely thrilled to find someone who shares his passion - and who indulges his tendency to burst into song! barely a day goes by where Wally doesn't tug on your sleeve and request to hear you sing, influencing you with that irresistible, doe-eyed look. sometimes, on the days when Wally seems a little more introspective than usual - a faraway look turning his face into a mask - you treat him to an all-out serenade. your singing never fails to make him smile...even on the days the smile doesn't reach his eyes. 💖
🎶 when Wally listens to you, he just can't sit still! Wally is always tapping, strumming, flapping, jiggling, or bouncing when you sing, like he can't keep the energy inside of him. it makes you giggle, that Wally is so affected by the sound of your voice. when you sing softly, Wally enjoys splaying out like a cat: leaning on his hand and slowly melting downwards until he's fully prone, all while gazing at you like you're the most amazing thing in the world. on more than one occasion, Wally insists the two of you dance whilst you sing! this always leaves you flushed and out-of-breath; it's not easy to sing and dance at the same time, and it turns out Wally is a much better dancer than he is a singer! 🥴 🎶 Wally loves to sing all kinds of songs, but parlour music is closest to his heart. you stumbled across him one day, sitting cross-legged on Home's back porch and mumbling a parlour song called 'Beautiful Dreamer'. you're awestruck. yes, Wally may be out of tune, but his voice belies a deep melancholy you didn't know he was capable of. when he's finished singing, you sit down next to him and ask what the song is about. "I don't know," Wally confesses. "The words can be confusing. But I feel like them sometimes. Like I'm dreaming." he laughs and shakes his head. "Silly me. Barnaby tells me my head's always in the clouds, but that's not where I want to be." you ask why, and Wally smiles. "Up there, I couldn't hear your voice." 🎼
#wally darling x reader#wally darling x you#wally darling#welcome home#welcome home arg#starleskasks#starleskawrites
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OOOHHHHHH SHHHIIIIITTTTT! HE KNEW THE WHOLE MF TIME! He really hit her with "but coochie wasn't part of the plan..." as her legs is still limp from ridin Chaim off into the sunset. That's...what the kids be sayin nowadays...DIABOLICAL! Wooooooooo...when I tell you that my brain did the biggest record scratch and had to double back and start reading it again. OH. EM. GEE. o'fuck o clock is right!
I knew this shit wasn't gonna end well and that he would find out but I completely overlooked the thought of Chaim telling him about the deal. I thought if he did, it would've been on some "I fck'd your girl" type shit but not him legit filling him in on the deal. OOOU GIRL. I'm still stuck on the fact that he literally sat in that chair cool, calm, & collected as she released her inhibitions all on Chaim's [redacted]. THEN...THEN...THEN she had the audacity to try and say "lemme explain" LIKE GIRL...WHAT IS THERE TO EXPLAIN!? Go get your ass in the tub and slide down the wall if you need to because 🥴
Oof *clutches chest*
Side note: Angel, that hit was a bitch move. *puts on ski mask* "We ride at dawn"
It all makes sense, friend! He knew from the beginning, even knew before she knew what the favor chaim wanted was. It's why he was letting her disappear, it's why he was telling her he was dreaming she was cheating and why he told her he was a killer. I guess he thought these things would make her confess. Unfortunately, she rode it out until the end.
He let chaim slide because chaim doesn't owe him anything. Chaim told him the truth and chaim offered him a wild amount of money and when you're on the run and broke.. you'll definitely talk back to $250k.
I hate that he hit her. She's been on some lame shit but she didn't deserve that.
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Yandere Files: Illuso x Shy Reader
CW: Somnophilia, Stalking, murder, impregnation mention, alcohol
Here’s Babbys first yandere post. 🥴 it’s not gruesome but it is very lewd. I guess this more of a “softer” yandere than I anticipated but this was mostly for my own self indulgence lol. I hope this is good enough for everyone 💜 Minors DNI NSFW
It’s not every day La Squadra is given a new teammate. It’s definitely a first for an AFAB to come into the group of hardened criminals. It’s been about 7 months now, and nobody knows a goddamn thing about you. You stay to yourself , you don’t make small talk, eye contact, or show any sort of an emotion. You speak so softly… that they have to strain their ears just to understand what you are saying. It’s always in short choppy sentences.
How are you doing today Y/N? “Good.”
Did you do anything over the weekend? “I slept.”
Tell the guys what you did to that target! “Killed him.”
No, hooow did you kill him? “ High speed train…heading to Roma Termini.”
Where are you heading off to Y/N? “Out.”
Out where? “To the cafe.”
Getting any information out of you was like pulling teeth. The only thing they knew was that they were a foreigner from _______.
Illuso was tasked with spying on you because you were so quiet and reserved. Can you blame them? After what happened to Sorbet and Gelato you can’t be too sure to make sure you're not part of the bosses secret mission to snitch on them.
Illuso keeps a good eye on you. He seen where you live, what your real personality is like. Who your friends are… who your family are… and knows all about your pets and which one is secretly your favorite.
All the while you slowly warm up just a little to the others more, illuso keeps acting like a complete jerk to keep up with appearances. He doesn’t want you knowing he’s watching your every move. He doesn’t wanna admit it but he’s slowly becoming attached.
He watches you clean… cook… play with your cats and treat them like babies. It makes him start to day dream thinking about you doing those sorts of things for him or just with him. He can feel his cheeks tinting pink.
If you have any interest in any of the other teammates or if they have interest in you, he’ll sabotage anything by telling you something embarrassing about them.
“Hey Y/N! Did you know that Prosciutto is old enough to be your DAD??? Hahaha!”
“Illuso shut the fuck up! Don’t make me get Grateful Dead out on your ass!”
He suddenly feels agitated when your partner calls… why is that? When he hears you arguing loudly over the phone with them and you’re upset/crying, he’s suddenly a lot nicer to you. Weird. Illusos not a nice guy, so what’s his deal???
Despite his hatred of you having a partner he fondles himself watching you two getting intimate. He gets just as sexually frustrated as you do when you can’t climax. Can’t your partner do anything right?! Get rid of the loser so he can do it for you himself!
He will sabotage your relationship with your partner. He’ll throw used condoms in the glove box of your shared car or under the mattress. Put perfume or lipstick stains on their clothes. Anything to get you to argue and break up. And for extra measure he’s gonna send them to the mirror realm and pummel them to death.
Once the partner is out of the way. He starts being a lot nicer. He’ll include you in on teasing others and if that’s not your vibe he’ll tell you all of the juiciest gossip he has as he plays with your hair while watching trash reality tv.
He’s stingy with everyone and won’t let others try his stuff but he’ll wanna you try a new product he bought himself(mostly just for you).
“Y/N, you’re safe with me. I wanna try this new hair mask out on you. I bet it will make your hair feel so silky. “
When you're not home/out on a mission it’s a perfect opportunity to take in your scent. He’s gonna find what fragrances you use so he can use them to jerk off with. He’ll take a pair of panties that been well used out of the hamper to smell and when he’s feeling extra desperate he’ll lick a long stripe up then too to savor your natural taste.
When you two have missions together he’ll be the nicest guy ever. He won’t even treat it like a mission. It will be like a mini vacation. He will insist on getting a 1 bed hotel room so you two have to share. Even if it’s king sized, the man is HUGE. He’s gonna have some amount of contact with your body and he’s gonna love every minute of it.
He’ll make sure your nice and drunk so when you fall asleep you don’t wake up or remember anything as he thigh fucks you from behind panting sweet nothings into your ear as your blissfully off into dreamland thinking your just having a wet dream.
“You’re mine, you got that? Nobody can have this cunt but me… I swear I’m gonna knock you up so nobody can take you away from me. I don’t really want a kid but I’ll do everything I can to keep you from leaving.”
He’s gonna make you his regardless. He’s never been so attached to anyone before and he’s spoiled so he’s gonna get what he wants . So consider yourself “lucky “ this yandere chose you and get cock drunk because he’s isn’t going to stop pounding anytime soon.
“ I hope you can accept my love Y/N. Because I’m not letting you go! You’re mine and nobody else’s! My god, I love you so damn much…”
#jjba#jjba part 5#la squadra#jjba x reader#jojo illuso#jjba illuso#illuso#illuso x reader#yandere illuso#la squadra esecuzioni#la squadra di esecuzione#la squadra x reader#minors dni
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I am kinda obsessed with your fanfic and was wondering if you have any recommendations, specifically guilty gear (faust?) related ones. Fanfic is v hit or miss so I get most of it by awkwardly asking authors I like for suggestions lol
Hell yeah! Sorry if you've read some of these before, but there's a handful of authors I can think of that have really good Faust fics. Also just going to throw this out here: I typically don't read fics more than a few thousand words, so all of my recs here are sub 10k words. I also usually don't read porn, so you'll have to go somewhere else to find recs for that 🤷 (the ironic part of this is that I've been sitting on a 35k+ multi chapter Faust fic for the past year or so, that I work on on-and-off).
Do no harm and Recognition by chibimun are always going to be the ones I rec for people who want to know what the deal with Faust is. The former is a study on what happened to him in prison, and the latter is an encounter between Baldhead and May. These two are both kind of upsetting at times but I also built most of my understanding of Faust upon them.
Polyester coffin by broken_clover How it feels to (metaphorically) mask in a workplace environment! How it feels to take an unnatural shape as that is what is expected of you! How it feels when your clothes are literally uncomfortable as fuck!
Let it die by broken_clover Set immediately after GGST's Another Story, Faust has an introspective conversation with himself...immediately after letting himself fall off the May ship. It's a really good expansion on the finale of his story arc (and it's not nearly as sad as the description makes it sound).
Cherry Jam by chainsawviolin I am not immune to sexy vampire. Faust makes a housecall for Slayer (with aftercare). 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 faust/slayer is a ship i very much enjoy. yeagh.
Dreaming of better by cohockcharge Bedman throws Faust into the nightmare theater. I'm surprised these two never interacted more because, to me, they seem to follow a similar arc of being their own downfall. Idk how else to put it. Anyway, a really interesting meeting between these two, and why power isn't all that its cracked up to be.
Admittedly, I haven't read enough of the last one's work to include, but I generally think anything by chibimun (@fauslayer), chainsawviolin, and broken_clover(@broken-clover) are all solid choices for browsing.
EDIT:
jim is making me add this one
two guys platonically spooning by mundanesalad i wrote raven and faust watching a horror movie for some fucking reason. sometimes i draw comics about it.
#ty for the ask!#im really picky about what I read admittedly#i also um...have a tendency towards moodier/angstier stuff
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That ask talking marking up Dream's shoulder 🥴
Ofc he always tells you nothing where anyone can see, he still streams and stuff... but then he puts the mask back on.. and he's wearing that hoodie constantly... so his neck is now free range 🥴
(Also wtf?? You're quite literally my favorite writer on here?? It's like the first thing I do in the morning is check your blog then void's blog like???)
woof.
yes yes yes marking up his shoulder and his neck just under his jaw, because the fans aren't gonna see it, right? ofc you know goddamn well that just because the viewers can't see it doesn't mean his friends won't see it, and it doesn't mean they won't tease him about it off and possibly on screen.
also like hi ily & this is now shoutout to @d4ringv0id my beloved
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i am here for the sleepover!!!! i have snacks and face masks 🩷🩷🩷
FMK the legendary sannin themselves 😈
AHHHH YAY!! Oh man, that's a dream come true! Snacks and face masks are so good!
😮💨😮💨 okay okay
F- Tsunade cause she is so fineeee
M- obviously Jiraiya cause he's my beloved
K- it's gotta be Orochi even though I'd definitely be riding that dick before I kill him 🥴
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Mirth's Ebenezer: Part 16
A/N: It’s been…a while🥴 I hope no one minds the pivot from The Lair in the Woods back to Mirth’s Ebenezer (which I’m hoping to focus on both of these now that all three Heirs of Tenebris books are out and I have a little more time on my hands while I figure out my next project😎)
Warnings: Rough transition from fluff to full fledged angst (sorry, y'all!), reference to recent violence, anxiety, fear, shock/trauma, handling of weapons, reference to past disaster/attack, swearing, the author completely forgetting that this started off as a holiday piece
My Masterlist | Taglist Info or Taglist Request Form | Mirth’s Ebenezer masterlist
Agent sighed heavily, scrubbing their face with their hand. Another dead end, another error message, another failure.
“Are you coming to bed?” A groggy voice called. Even the exhaustion in their lover’s voice couldn’t mask their irritation.
Agent blinked, breaking the spell cast on them by their Agency-issued laptop and the tens of tabs and programs opened on it. “I…” Shaking their head, Agent turned their chair around and stood. Both of their stiff knees popped and old injuries from their days in the field groaned. “I really should, shouldn’t I?”
Lover hummed, meeting them halfway across the cramped office and pulling them closer to leave a teasing kiss on their lips. “You really should.”
“Have I told you lately,” Agent started, resting their forehead on Lover’s, not daring to open their eyes for the fear that this was all just a dream and that they’d wake up any minute now having fallen asleep at their desk back in their cold dismal office at the Agency. “How much a love you?”
“Not nearly enough,” Lover whispered. “You’ve been too busy trying to catch that mole.”
“You’re not supposed to know about that.”
“And you’re not supposed to bring work home with you.”
“Forgive me?” Agent asked, parting just an inch to see their lover’s expression.
“Only if you take care yourself,” Lover said, turning serious. “You need to sleep—an actual full night of sleep—and eat proper meals and spend time rel—”
The pair jumped, nearly breaking away from each other in full. A blaring alarmed chimed from Agent’s desk. Agent snapped their head in the direction of their computer, their heart hammering against their chest.
Never once had they heard that alarm.
Lover groaned, clapping their hands over their ears. “Make it stop! It’s just as bad as the emergency…” Realization dawned in their eyes as the reality of what was happening sank like a lead weight in Agent’s stomach. “Shit it’s…”
“Yeah,” Agent said, shaking themselves from the shock of it. Darting over to their computer, they quickly silenced the alarm and grabbed their coat from the back of their desk chair, hurriedly shoving their arms through the sleeves.
Lover looked as disappointed as a child who’d been denied dessert.
“I know, sweetheart,” Agent said, cupping their cheek softly, forcing themselves to still long enough to remember themselves and their own situation. “I know. I promise, no matter what, I’ll come home.”
“Be safe,” Lover replied, tears brimming in their eyes.
Agent nodded. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
*
Agent grasped Everette’s shoulder. “We’re not going to die, you hear me?”
Their words couldn’t stop the young hero’s blubbering, and if anything seemed to make it worse. Agent set their jaw, staring hard at the rookie-turned-forced-soldier. “Hey, look at me. Do I look scared to you?”
Everette shook their head. “You’re a heartless, bastard.”
Agent sighed. That wasn’t completely undeserved, but it still stung. Even after all they’d done to help protect a low-life criminal, to root out the mole, people still thought it was them, that they were to blame for this massacre.
“Leave them be, Agent.” Vigilante said, coming around the corner. “We have bigger problems to deal with than whatever rookie here is dealing with.”
“And you thought I was cold,” Agent rolled their eyes. Straightening, they reluctantly agreed with Vigilante and took up their rifle, slinging its strap across their chest. “Find anyone else?”
“Would I be standing here alone if I did?” Vigilante kicked the dirt beneath their feet. “If anyone else is left, they’re in deep cover now. The fire at the Agency’s building has finally been put out and the courthouse is mostly standing. The city’s in total chaos. They did it. The son of a bitch really did it.”
Agent shook their head. “I don’t believe that. This can’t be it. They couldn’t’ve won. Not like this.”
“Yeah, well, we never did find the mole, so…” Vigilante shrugged. “Guess it doesn’t matter anymore. Supervillain obviously got what they wanted.”
Agent didn’t believe that. If they could just find who the mole was and figure out why they betrayed them all, then…then they could…
“It won’t bring them back,” they muttered. Agent’s chest tightened. They forced out a tense breath and could hardly draw another. Sinking down to sit beside Everette, Agent repeated, “It won’t bring them back.”
Vigilante groaned. “Not you too. I need someone to have their head on right because it can’t just be left up to me. Hell if anyone knows where Superhero and Mirth are, or if…fuck.” Vigilante swore again, and again, but it still couldn’t quite break the stupor that had overcome Agent. If anything, they’d guess that it had spread to Vigilante too. They were certain of it when next they spoke. “You don’t think—we can’t be the only ones left. Right?”
“I don’t know,” Agent said, their voice and soul hollow. They forced themselves to swallow. Nodding their head as if they could convince themselves of their own resolve, Agent pushed themselves off the ground and stood on shaking legs. “But if we are, we owe it to them to fight. Supervillain can’t win.” They shrugged, growing more confident with every word. “At the very least, we can be a thorn in their side until the calvary shows up.”
Everette took a shuddering breath, sniffling. “You really think that there are other heroes coming?”
Agent snorted. “You didn’t really think this was the Agency’s only branch, did you? There are heroes all over this country—all across the world even. We might not all be under the same banner or agency, hell we might not all even consider ourselves heroes,” they paused, glancing over at Vigilante and offered them a nod. “but we are. There are more of us than we know. There are more people who want to help, who have good hearts, who care about others, who want to do good and be the good that people see in the world, that inspire them to do good too. It’ll sound cheesy and like a shitty motivational poster, but I’m gonna say it anyway: we have hope. All Supervillain has is fear, and if there is anything I have learned watching all of these heroes for the twenty some-odd years I’ve been an Internal Investigator, it’s that hope is stronger than fear. Think about the most feared people throughout history. You don’t see them still standing, do you?”
Everette shook their head weakly. Agent looked to Vigilante. Their eyes were narrowed suspiciously, like they thought the whole thing was dumb. After a second, they nodded anyway.
“And why not? Why are they history? Because the people had hope. Someone, somewhere, had hope, and they held on to it, and they tore down their fears, they defeated the big bad that plagued their people, and they gave them hope, something to believe in. And that’s what we need to do. We need to show this city that there is still someone fighting for them, that Supervillain hasn’t won, and that they won’t win. We just need to give them something to hold on to, just until help arrives.”
Agent looked from Vigilante to Everette and back again. Sweat slicked their palms. They held their breath, praying their compatriots at least believed their speech.
They tried to believe in it themselves, but all Agent could bring themselves to think about were those few precious moments from earlier in the night. A few precious, yet stolen, moments.
They wondered if they had been selfish, if they had gotten to the Agency sooner, if they hadn’t taken that moment to say goodbye.
They wondered if Lover was still awake, fighting their exhaustion and battling against their anxiety, waiting for any word, any sign, any instance of them.
They wondered if a single moment, a single kiss, a single speech, a single hope would be enough to reverse the damage Supervillain had done, and the battle they’d already won. They hoped, with every fiber of their being, that the war could yet still be won.
Turning their eyes toward the eastern sky, the first hues of the sunrise poked through the ashy haze that hung over the city scape.
Perhaps a single hope was all they needed in order to survive long enough for something to happen that would make a real difference—a real, honest difference for the betterment of the city.
*
Meanwhile at Baron’s Cabin the Woods:
Superhero glanced around the dimly lit basement, taking in the gleaming array in the lantern light Baron had brought with them.
“So, a safe house, huh?” they asked, eyeing Baron skeptically.
“Yeah,” he said. “This is what makes it safe.” Superhero had to admit that he had a point, but didn’t dare say so aloud. Taking a breath, they resigned themselves to being at the mercy of Baron’s plan. “All right, so where should we start?”
Mirth’s Ebenezer Taglist: @heroes-villains-side-blog @selene-stories @violetcancerian @kaiwewi @averyconfusedhuman Just let me know if you’d like to be added or removed (no reason necessary!) You can also add yourself using this handy dandy form 😊
A/N 2: I legit can't remember the last time I wrote for Mirth and I'm so sorry to those of you following along with this series💜
Part 17
#writeblr#heroes and villains#hero x villain snippet#hero x villain community#my writing#Mirth's Ebenezer#Mirth's Ebenezer series
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hellooo ik its me again spamming inbox again 😁 ykw ykw
i miss u like i legit miss u sm that like i feel like my day is incomplete without talking to u it feels like a hollow yk that emptiness u get after finishing a kdrama thats what im feeling as i write this (becoming too much in love behaviour but its fine cuz i love uu nd being a liz simp is better than living alone without love in ur lifee) that without talking to feels like my day is incomplete but ik u are taking time off to collect ur thoughts achieve mental peace (hoping u get it during ur time off ) nd become calm nd ik how badly negative comments affect a person cuz they never get forgotten they just get buried nd come up whenver u get into a bad headspace but its fine we all get into bad headspaces go thru hard times nd i believe in u can get thru it u can nd take as much time as u need i will waiting for u with open arms to embrace u nd let u rest
nd ykw in a span of 4days sm things happened first i finished all the movies of to all the boys i have loved before but i didnt watvh xo kitty cuz they should made it as a netflix original movie instead of making it as a kdrama + eng series (i rly dont like eng series never watched any 😭😭 cuz i dont feel the connect the way i feel with kdramas ) nd after finishing i was like 😭😭 how do i get such a sweet guy (its an dream which no guy would be able to fulfill ) anw moving on
i tried to talk or more likely comfort a guy he is going thru hard time i can see it on jis fsce no matter how much he tries to mask it it can be seen in his expression nd eyes 😭( i dont like but as a genuine frnd im concerned abt him as i wasnt talking to him for a week ( i get too tired ti socialize in thr evening 😞that i dont text anyone ) so i wrote this a huge block of texting with some advice with some caring words okay nd telling everything will be fine nd all i sent it after 2minutes i was like this is so cringe 😭😭😭😭😭 nd i was like i sound like a girl who has a crush on him ( i dont 😭hes the type of person who has a huge ego nd i dont like egoistic ppl but to me he doesnt shows ego idk why 🥴🥴nd he is kinda dumb )
nd after i deleted i was like think ren thinkkk sm thoughts were going on in my mind like i HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE COMFROTED A GUY let alone have a guy frnd even tho i had one he confessed to me nd the friendship turned into dust 😭 nd from the start i always had female frinds even tho i have some guy frnds but we arent close to be considered frnds like classmate things ykk nd with the guy i wanted to comfort he considers me his frnd but i dont 😭 i have a very peculiar criteria of considering ppl as frnds 😭 but it is what it is so at last i texted him be well nd take care nd i also said it is overhelming to u atm but it will become better trust me he said see u soon i read nd didnt reply cuz idk.what to say 😭😭 nd ykw i suck at comforting guys cuz with girls its like u can say ily to them nd write a long ass message for them nd yk its a connect 😭 like i want a guy who genuinely is only intrested im friendship not in f2l nd i cant even say a guy i love u randomly if i trying to comfort them they might take it literally nd another trouble 😭😭 well i have never said that i dont plan to 😭 anw take careeee have a good day
#ren u r making me shed Real tears rn#i love u sm like if anyone tries to be the number 1 ren simp I WILL FIGHT THEM#BCS THATS MY SPOT#NO ONE ELSE’S!!!!!!!!#and omg i also watched xo kitty for shits n giggles HELPPP LMAO but i agree with u a 100% bro#no u’re so right bcs no sweet guy exist#like i’ve come to terms w it now :’-)#NO BCS#FRIENDSHIP WITH GUYS ARE SO HARD TO MAINTAIN FOR SOME REASON????? BCS ONE DAY THEY’LL JUST BOOM CONFESS THEIR UNDYING LOVE TO U#ITS SICK#LIKE#I THOUGHT WE’RE HOMIES I THOUGHT WE’RE BUDDIES WHY R U IN LOVE W ME NOW💀#not wanting f2l with guys is so true like…. i just want a FRIEND how hard is it bro 😭😭#okay but u’re good at comforting ppl <3 whoever tht guy is should be HONORED#also#men with big ego <<<<<<<#not it#glad u dodged a bullet kinda 😭😭#I LOVE U AND I LOVE UR STORIES MY SLEEP DISAPPEARED IM SO INVESTED NOW
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Many thoughts so I'm gonna utilize the read more function
Office holiday parties and the Daggers dropping by weren’t enough to keep your mind off what was happening in the Pacific. The adage of no news is good news kept being tossed around, but that didn’t stop you from dreaming about finding out that your husband died through an email about the Vigilantes requiring a new F-18 after theirs crashed into the ocean. Your recurring nightmare of Javy showing up with the Chaplin decided to play on repeat whenever you tried to sleep.
That's rough...
At your first appointment with Dr. Shearer after Japan, you cried when she asked how the trip was. Guilt ate at you, knowing that your breakdown was making the appointment run long and putting her off schedule, but she didn’t seem to care as she hugged you and held your hand.
People like this in Healthcare are saints 🫶🏻because unfortunately its not always the case (at least whete I live)
By the time you left her office, you had a new prescription for an anti-depressant and a list of therapists who specialized in prenatal depression. When you tried to decline the medication, not wanting it to impact Sloane, Dr. Shearer assured you that they would have minimal impact on her, if any. “Sometimes you need to put your oxygen mask on before helping others, Mama. You’re just as important as your little girl, okay? And I’m sure your husband would tell you the same thing.”
What a great allegory!
Jake had been upfront about his intention to stay in the Navy for as long as possible since you started dating. Which meant that you had many, many deployments ahead of you. Months at a time of being separated. And, irrational as it was, you worried what he would think of you stumbling like this on the first one. You never wanted to be a reason for Jake to worry. His job was too dangerous for his attention to be split, so you’d striven to keep how much of a toll his being gone was taking on you quiet. Put on a brave face in front of your friends, knowing they would report their concerns to him. They might have commented on you looking tired, but you didn’t tell them about your nightmares. And it was a convenient excuse for getting out of plans. A sob burst from your lips, and you buried your face into your pillow, hating the thought of letting down your husband and daughter.
I just wanna give her a big hug 🥺
Javy came over for dinner the night before he flew to Louisiana to spend the holiday with his family. Without saying a word, you could tell he was relieved by the sight of the tree and decorations - he’d offered to get you a tree and put up lights, but you’d turned him down every time. You knew he felt guilty about spending Christmas with his parents and had pushed back his leave until your family arrived, which made you feel guilty. So you put on a happy smile and teased him all evening, especially when he opened the gift you’d labeled as from Sloane. Cackling, he held up the Funko Pop of The Godfather. Since your husband had officially asked his best friend to be Sloane’s godfather, he’d been quoting the movie nonstop. When you slipped and told him you’d never seen it, he forced a Dagger movie night.
Javy definitely is part of the family, he cares so much, no one better for the Godfather role🥺 🫶🏻
As much as he would have enjoyed a dip in the Pacific, Jake didn’t volunteer for those roles. Even with the shark boats providing additional support, he didn’t want to do anything that would stress you out more.
Good, nobody needs those additional risks 🥴
For the first time, Jake questioned how much longer he could do this. As much as he loved being an aviator, he loved being your husband more. Missing everything about your pregnancy was killing him. The exercise had distracted him over the last two weeks, but not being able to turn on his phone and text or call you was killing him. To put it simply - Jake was homesick.
🥺🥺🥺
With Sloane on the way, he could only see his job getting further in the way of how he wanted to be as a husband and a father. He remembered being a kid before he knew what an asshole his father was and hated going to the dock to say goodbye. Walking away from you on the tarmac and getting in that taxi in Yokosuka had been torture - Jake couldn’t imagine having to do the same with his little girl.
He already enjoys being a husband and is so expensive to be a dad, so this is understandable especially with his own childhood experiences and his active working against repeating it
“Ughhhh!” you huffed, throwing your tablet aside and running a hand down your face. It was almost 2:00AM on Christmas Eve, and your book annoyed you. For some reason, you’d decided to try out a holiday military romance. It wasn’t the best choice, considering the plot centered around a couple facing a deployment over Christmas, but the ending had you simultaneously jealous and frustrated.
Uh not a good choice 😬🫣
The idea of the husband showing up on Christmas morning to surprise his family? Not likely. A deployment wouldn’t be wrapped up early just to get a servicemember home for the holidays. And if Jake ever lied about how long a deployment would be to surprise you… well, let’s just say that the guest bedroom would be his home for the time that he was supposed to be gone. Maybe other spouses enjoyed it, but you didn’t like the thought of being lied to and mentally preparing for a longer separation just for a surprise at the end.
Valid lol
Glad the doc said Sloane’s doing great. What about you? How are you???
He is such a good husband, even from far away 🥹
You saved a picture of Jake wearing a headband with elf ears, a broad grin on his mouth, as your new lock screen.
Perfect 😌
“A-and I n-never want you to f-feel like you have to choose b-between us and your car-career,” you hiccupped. “It’s never a choice, darlin’,” Jake sighed, fists clenching in his sweatpants. He wanted so badly to be home right then. “You and Sloane are my priority.”
🥹🥹🥹
“You’re being fuckin’ hard on yourself right now, and you need to give yourself a break, darlin’. This isn’t a normal deployment, honey. You’re not gonna be pregnant every time we do this.”
I had to read this at least 3 times because I thought Jake said basically: "oh you are gonna be pregnant again, when I'm not on deployment and I'm gonna be there for the pregnancy" which is definitely not the same content of the message lmao
“Talk to me,” Jake pleaded. You felt so guilty, seeing his heartbroken expression as you cried over what was supposed to be a fun call. “I don’t wanna ruin your Christmas.” Groaning, he glanced at his watch and shook his head. “Christmas is officially over for me. Tell me what’s bothering you, sweetheart.” “I think it’s finally hitting that I’m gonna have to do this alone.” Even as you watched Jake’s face fall, you couldn’t stop. “I’m so happy I came out to see you, but it felt like such a tease, and it was easier to get through this before I got to kiss you and have you be a part of the pregnancy.”
This is tough on both of them in very different ways..
“I just need you to be honest when something bothers you. I can’t fix it if I don’t know about it.” “You can’t fix this, babe. You can’t come home early, and I can’t be there with you.”
💔💔💔
“Yeah. I told Mama that I was gonna be a godfather, and she knows Hangman’s deployed. So she was asking me who was gonna get you to the hospital. I told her it’d probably be me,” he shrugged, a self-conscious expression on his face, “and she and my sisters got on me about making sure I knew the fastest route and timing contractions. So yeah, we gotta make a plan so I can get them off my back.”
That is so cute of Javy and his family 🥹
“You want to go to birthing classes?” “I mean,” he shrugged, an awkward smile crossing his mouth. “I figured I’d stay with you until your parents got there. Unless you want someone else. Maybe Phoenix?”
I love their friendship!
“Send me a text, and I’ll send you the class schedule. I’ll forget otherwise.” A second later, your phone chimed with an alert, and you saw that he’d sent you the reminder. “You and Jake are gonna have to compare notes. He’s taking a first-time fatherhood class online.” “Good. Now that the exercise is done, he’ll have more free time and can do that instead of harassing the other pilots about their shitty flying during the sorties.”
I don't think that neither Jake nor Javy would have thought that one day they would compare fatherhood classes notes when they first met at the Navy 😅
D-Day by TrickPhotography | Chapter 20
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female!reader
Word count: 6.6k
Synopsis: After finding out his girlfriend is pregnant, Jake is ready to move in and get married. The last thing he expected was to be hit with a six-month deployment at sea and missing the birth of his first child.
18+, minors DNI
Chapter 19 | Series Master List | Ao3
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Chapter 20
After the excitement of seeing Jake, the holidays could never stack up.
It took a little while to get back onto the time zone, and you dragged yourself through work. The post-babymoon blues hit hard, and you wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed, wearing Jake’s sweatshirt that you’d stolen and stretched too much to give back and wallow for the last few months of the deployment. But being alone at home gave you too much time to think. It was easier to try and focus on wrapping things up for the year instead of staring at your phone and wishing it would chime.
The war games had officially started, and Jake was on telecom blackout for three weeks.
Office holiday parties and the Daggers dropping by weren’t enough to keep your mind off what was happening in the Pacific. The adage of no news is good news kept being tossed around, but that didn’t stop you from dreaming about finding out that your husband died through an email about the Vigilantes requiring a new F-18 after theirs crashed into the ocean. Your recurring nightmare of Javy showing up with the Chaplin decided to play on repeat whenever you tried to sleep.
Irrationally, you started to hate it when your computer chimed to notify you of a new email.
At your first appointment with Dr. Shearer after Japan, you cried when she asked how the trip was. Guilt ate at you, knowing that your breakdown was making the appointment run long and putting her off schedule, but she didn’t seem to care as she hugged you and held your hand. Under her gentle questioning, you told her about the nightmares and pacing the house at night. About turning down offers to go out with friends and the baby shower your coworkers offered to throw you. How your parents were checking in on you more. And how you were so afraid that your husband would die before he got a chance to meet your daughter. When she asked you how long it had been going on, you just shrugged and said for a few months.
“Oh, honey,” Dr. Shearer sighed. “I know we discussed this before your trip - that doesn’t sound like baby blues. You’ve got a lot going on, and I think it’s time we discussed how you’re doing with all of it. Especially with your history of depression.”
“I thought it’d get better after I saw Jake,” you said softly.
By the time you left her office, you had a new prescription for an anti-depressant and a list of therapists who specialized in prenatal depression. When you tried to decline the medication, not wanting it to impact Sloane, Dr. Shearer assured you that they would have minimal impact on her, if any. “Sometimes you need to put your oxygen mask on before helping others, Mama. You’re just as important as your little girl, okay? And I’m sure your husband would tell you the same thing.”
That didn’t stop you from crying in your car before calling out of work for the rest of the day. After stopping at the pharmacy, you went home and put on Jake’s sweatshirt before spritzing his cologne on your pregnancy pillow and crawling into bed. A headache throbbed dully as you closed your eyes, dreading talking to your husband for the first time and telling him that you couldn’t even get through your first major deployment together without slipping into a depressive episode.
Jake had been upfront about his intention to stay in the Navy for as long as possible since you started dating. Which meant that you had many, many deployments ahead of you. Months at a time of being separated. And, irrational as it was, you worried what he would think of you stumbling like this on the first one. You never wanted to be a reason for Jake to worry. His job was too dangerous for his attention to be split, so you’d striven to keep how much of a toll his being gone was taking on you quiet. Put on a brave face in front of your friends, knowing they would report their concerns to him. They might have commented on you looking tired, but you didn’t tell them about your nightmares. And it was a convenient excuse for getting out of plans.
He’d put up with a lot with his ex, between her infidelity and worrying about seizures, and you didn’t want to force him back into that mindset. You’d reassured him time and time again that you were okay and that growing up with your dad on temporary duty for a year had prepared you for this. But being a kid, missing your parent, and being a wife missing her husband was different.
Things would be so much more complicated in the future when you had to take care of not only yourself but also Sloane, you thought as your daughter moved. Mom had made it look easy, juggling her job and raising you. But the last seven months had made you worry about what it would be like trying to do the same. A tear pooled in the corner of your eye and slipped over the bridge of your nose when you imagined going through labor without Jake there. You’d been purposely not thinking about it, hoping that some miracle would happen and he would come home in time. But the only reason you could think of him being sent home early involved him getting hurt, and you couldn’t selfishly wish for that.
A sob burst from your lips, and you buried your face into your pillow, hating the thought of letting down your husband and daughter.
The weekend before Christmas, your parents flew in. Their visit had always been the plan, but you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of relief when you spotted them at the airport arrivals as you pulled into a vacant spot. After popping the trunk, you were out of the car and in Mom’s as Dad loaded the suitcases before taking his turn hugging you. Tears pricked your eyes, and for the first time in weeks, you didn’t feel like you were forcing a smile.
That lasted until you got home, and your parents realized you hadn’t done anything to decorate for Christmas. “I just haven’t had the energy,” you shrugged. Their exchanged look told you they knew it wasn’t just that, and their silent conversation made you miss Jake - knowing what your husband was thinking with just a glance.
It wasn’t surprising when Mom encouraged you to stop by the home decor store after going out for lunch. Neither you nor Jake had a tree - he’d bought a small real one for their visit the previous year, decorated with cheap plastic ornaments shoved in the attic somewhere, while you’d gotten rid of yours before the move. Mom was a Christmas fan and quickly took charge, leading you up and down the rows of trees until you picked out a pre-lit seven-and-a-half-foot tall one with artificial snow and pinecones. Dad loaded it into the cart while Mom led you to the ornaments, where you spotted a jet ornament and quickly grabbed it.
“Looks like an F-16,” Dad said, holding it up to examine it closely. A sly smile crossed his lips as he slipped it into his palm. “An Air Force jet - I approve.” That made you laugh, and you made a mental note to dig out the Air Force shirt your dad had gifted Jake last Christmas from the depths of his drawer - contrary to what he’d threatened, it hadn’t ended up as a tire rag.
They wasted no time getting the tree set up, and Dad went into the attic to get the decorations you’d purchased last year. And you managed to hold the tears in until you were hanging up the stockings, and Mom disappeared into the guest bedroom for a minute, only to return with one she’d made for Sloane. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to make you and Jake ones that say ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad,’” she smiled, “but let me know, and I can make new ones for you next year.”
Mom took a picture of you holding the stocking next to your bump before putting it next to the other ones hung on the wall. You snapped a photo of them all in a row and texted both to Jake. It went unread like the other messages and pictures you’d sent to his phone and email.
Javy came over for dinner the night before he flew to Louisiana to spend the holiday with his family. Without saying a word, you could tell he was relieved by the sight of the tree and decorations - he’d offered to get you a tree and put up lights, but you’d turned him down every time. You knew he felt guilty about spending Christmas with his parents and had pushed back his leave until your family arrived, which made you feel guilty. So you put on a happy smile and teased him all evening, especially when he opened the gift you’d labeled as from Sloane. Cackling, he held up the Funko Pop of The Godfather. Since your husband had officially asked his best friend to be Sloane’s godfather, he’d been quoting the movie nonstop. When you slipped and told him you’d never seen it, he forced a Dagger movie night.
No one had paid too much attention to the movie, more interested in swapping holiday plans and eating the snacks Javy had set out. Bob and Nat were traveling to see their families, and Ruben was going to spend it with his girlfriend’s family. When he found out that your parents were coming, he promised to swing by and say hello. Everyone planned to be back for New Year, and Bob offered to host everyone at his place. No one faulted you when you dozed off during the film, comforted by your friends' voices.
You had to double-check the next morning that you hadn’t dreamed of Bob saying he was happy to do so, especially since he’d gotten orders back to North Island with a report date in June.
So it was going to be a quiet Christmas with your parents. The only downside of their presence was that you felt trapped in your room when insomnia hit. On the first night they were there, you’d tried to sneak into the nursery only to have your dad come in and check on you. While you sat in the rocker, he lay on the ground and talked to you, catching you up on the mundane things in his life. Your eyes slowly closed as he spoke about advising the young airmen about their relationships but jerked awake when he snored. Chuckling to yourself, you shook him awake and sent him to bed before retreating to your room and dozed off.
Shit shit shit
Jake pulled up on his stick, climbing to evade the Korean pilot attempting to get tone on him. His jet felt sluggish, loaded to the max capability to safely land back on the carrier, allowing the pursuing jet a slight tactical advantage. He was nearing the decommissioned ship that they were attempting to sink with a prototype bomb, with the other countries playing defense to test their dog-fighting skills against the American pilots.
The first two weeks of the exercise focused on naval defense and surveillance, with the fleet practicing their maneuvers against allies. The pilots had been tightening their game plan for the mock attack and providing aerial coverage. The helo pilots had taken off with rescue swimmers to practice retrieving downed pilots.
As much as he would have enjoyed a dip in the Pacific, Jake didn’t volunteer for those roles. Even with the shark boats providing additional support, he didn’t want to do anything that would stress you out more.
The first few days of the fixed-wing planes being in the air focused on targeting and shooting down dud missiles and drones. It had been fun target practice, but Jake couldn’t help but note the younger pilots who needed more time in the simulators and didn’t hesitate to include them in his debrief with Mav at the end of the day. While the exercise served as practice for actual warfare, many young pilots hadn’t served in an active warzone before - they didn’t know what it was like to take fire or watch your wingman take a hit.
There weren’t many times that Jake felt his age in the cockpit, but at 36, he had over a decade on the new kids. He had two campaign medals and another for the Global War on Terrorism. He had two air-to-air kills. And he paid attention.
Word had come down that the Eisenhower had been extended for a second time due to conflict in the Middle East. If tensions continued, it wouldn’t be long until more carriers were sent to the region.
For the first time, Jake questioned how much longer he could do this. As much as he loved being an aviator, he loved being your husband more. Missing everything about your pregnancy was killing him. The exercise had distracted him over the last two weeks, but not being able to turn on his phone and text or call you was killing him.
To put it simply - Jake was homesick.
With Sloane on the way, he could only see his job getting further in the way of how he wanted to be as a husband and a father. He remembered being a kid before he knew what an asshole his father was and hated going to the dock to say goodbye. Walking away from you on the tarmac and getting in that taxi in Yokosuka had been torture - Jake couldn’t imagine having to do the same with his little girl.
“Nearing the target.” Rooster’s voice came over the comms, and Jake glanced down to see his wingman closing in on the abandoned ship towed to the middle of the ocean. Word trickled through the pilots, and the defense planes backed off, returning to their ships. While the exercise was meant to test the military capabilities, there was no way the government would have anything interfere with the testing of an advanced weapon. A helo hovered with a camera pointed at the ship, and a third jet with a WSO flew nearby to follow them as they dropped the bombs to get a closer look.
Jake quickly maneuvered into position. Rooster would make the first pass and strike to the ship's bow, with him hitting the stern seconds later. Mav was ready to launch in case they needed a third strike. After confirming he was ready and getting clearance from the boat that they were clear to proceed, Rooster called, “Sights on target. Locked…”
“Locked,” Jake echoed, the laser to paint the stern.
“Bombs away.”
“Bombs away.” Hitting the release, Jake forced the jet to scream past the ship, wanting to make sure he was out of the way in case of a malfunction. Gaining altitude, he followed Rooster as the other pilot circled back to the carrier, tipping his wing to watch the chain explosions on the ship. Fire shot from the sides before bursting onto the deck.
Grinning behind his mask, Jake radioed the tower and said he was ready to land.
They were one step closer to heading home, finally finishing the exercise.
“Ughhhh!” you huffed, throwing your tablet aside and running a hand down your face. It was almost 2:00AM on Christmas Eve, and your book annoyed you. For some reason, you’d decided to try out a holiday military romance. It wasn’t the best choice, considering the plot centered around a couple facing a deployment over Christmas, but the ending had you simultaneously jealous and frustrated.
The idea of the husband showing up on Christmas morning to surprise his family? Not likely. A deployment wouldn’t be wrapped up early just to get a servicemember home for the holidays. And if Jake ever lied about how long a deployment would be to surprise you… well, let’s just say that the guest bedroom would be his home for the time that he was supposed to be gone. Maybe other spouses enjoyed it, but you didn’t like the thought of being lied to and mentally preparing for a longer separation just for a surprise at the end.
After shifting the pregnancy pillow, you leaned against the headboard. There were few times you regretted not having a TV in the bedroom - when you’d moved in, Jake had put it in the guest bedroom at your request - but this was one of them. Sighing, you lifted your shirt and cradled your stomach, tracing the stretchmarks marring your skin. “It’s almost Christmas, baby girl,” you sighed. “And even though you can’t open your presents, you’re already spoiled. Grammy and Grandpa sent me to bed early to wrap presents. Even your daddy’s family sent you gifts.” You felt - and watched - your stomach twitch as Sloane moved. No matter how many times you saw it happen, the sight still shocked you. Her movements had been yours alone to experience for so long; now, others could easily see them, too.
“I know; I was surprised, too,” you sighed. The box was delivered to your doorstep late last night and addressed to Jake and Sloane. That had stung, especially seeing that it was from your sister-in-law, but you knew your husband would tell you that the estrangement with his family wasn’t your fault. “Your Aunt Lina sent you some stuff, and so did your Grammy and Grandpa Seresin.”
Seeing the wrapped presents from Jake’s parents had frozen you. While you tried not to think about the day that your father-in-law threatened you, it was hard to see reminders of it. You had kept what happened secret from your parents, not wanting to cause any stress, and had listened to your mom say how nice it was that the Seresins had sent presents while putting them under the tree.
Sloane rolled under your palm, and you sighed. That turned into a choked gasp when you felt your calf tightening into a painful knot. Grimacing, you pulled your leg up and tried to knead the muscle, but it didn’t improve. The tightening verged on the edge of painful, and you rolled onto your side, muffling your groan in the bedding.
A chime sounded, and you blindly groped for your phone. Another chime. And then a third.
Opening one eye, you stopped breathing when you saw that Jake was replying to the texts you’d sent during the exercise.
I’m okay with you painting the nursery as long as you’re not the one doing it. Ask one of the guys to do it after the holidays.
The truck isn’t that lifted. You’re just short. Can’t wait to drive my girls around in it again.
Mrs. Seresin, teasing me with a picture from our second date spot? Playing dirty, darling. I’ll get a list of things together for the box, but I’m almost out of aftershave and keep losing socks in the laundry here. Would you mind hitting the uniform store for me? My ribbon bar got bent, and I need a new one.
Glad the doc said Sloane’s doing great. What about you? How are you???
Damn, that’s a big tree. Making the house look like a home, darling. Wish I was there with you.
I love the stocking. Your mom did a great job.
Opening up your texts, you started to type and immediately saw a new message.
Are you awake? Why are you awake?
Couldn’t sleep, you replied. Clutching the phone tightly, you bit your lip and tapped your fist against the muscle cramp.
You should try
Tapping the voice note, you held the phone up to your mouth. “I’m dealing with a bitch of a Charlie horse right now.” Rolling off the bed, you gingerly put weight on your leg and moaned. “Fucking Jesus Christ, this hurts.” Tapping send, you waited a moment before hearing your phone chime.
Jake had sent you a voice note back. Tears welled in your eyes when you hit play and heard your husband’s voice for the first time in weeks. “Wanna call you so bad right now, but they’re making us all sign up for times to not overload the system. I’m gonna video call you tomorrow at eight in the morning your time. Wish I was there to help you with the cramp, darlin.”
A second voice note showed up as soon as you finished the first. “If we have bananas, go get one. And then I want you to get a heating pad or your ice pack and put it wherever you’ve got the Charlie horse, alright? Are you drinking enough water?”
A third. “Wait, can you get your parents to get you the stuff? I don’t want you movin’ around and fallin’. Shit, darlin’, I’m sorry I’m not there.”
After quickly saving the messages before they disappeared, you held up the phone and recorded your message. “It’s good to hear your voice, Tex. I miss you so damn much. I’m not gonna wake my parents up in the middle of the night to get me something from the kitchen when I can hobble over to get it. I think we do have bananas. But are you done with the exercise?”
“I’m sure your parents wouldn’t mind,” Jake sent back. “Just wish I was there to get it for you. And yeah, the exercise is done. We’re getting today off, and then we’ll debrief before starting the trip home.”
Carefully, you limped out of the bedroom, holding onto the walls and furniture as you moved and cursing under your breath. Gripping the couch arm, you debated lying down and waiting for the pain to pass, but the phone lit up with another message. As tempted as you were to play it, you promised yourself that you could only listen to it back in bed. Your parents were such light sleepers that they would probably overhear the message, and as much as they loved Jake, you selfishly wanted to have some time alone with him.
Slipping the phone into your sweatpants pocket, you refilled your water glass and snagged a banana off the counter before retrieving an icepack from the freezer. The trip back to the room was even slower, the light from your phone wavering slightly. After depositing the items on the nightstand, you collapsed back into the bed and gripped your calf, whimpering as you dug your fingers into the knot and tried to massage it away. When the phone continued to vibrate with incoming messages, you flipped it over and saw that Jake had sent you five texts and voice notes.
“Are you getting the stuff, honey? Tell me you’re being careful. The last thing we need is for you to end up in the hospital because you tripped over something.” The humor was evident in his voice, but then he cleared his throat. “Shouldn’t joke about that. Just wanna make sure you’re okay.”
Then there were back-to-back texts asking if you were alright and another if you’d fallen asleep.
“Alright, now I’m worried, which is stupid because you’re probably fine. It’s, what, after two there? Hopefully, you just fell asleep and will make fun of me for this in the morning. Love you, darlin’.”
The next was a picture of him scowling at his phone as he lay in his bunk with headphones in, one hand behind his head. You felt your stomach swoop at seeing him, his face slightly darker with a tan and his hair falling across his forehead. His arm seemed bigger, and you wished that it was wrapped around you. The accompanying message read Frustrated that I’m not there to take care of you right now. Could use my magic hands on you to get rid of that Charlie horse.
That made you snort, and you sent your message, unable to keep the whine from your voice, “I’d kill for your magic hands right now. Didn’t mean to worry you, but I didn’t want to wake my parents up. Feel like I’m a kid again, sneaking around the house.”
Good, I’m glad you’re ok. And you love my magic hands. They’re really good at making you feel good in so many ways.
Still chuckling, you sent, “Yes, I do miss your hands. And your arms. And your lips and dick and legs and laugh and smile and all of you.”
You’re making me blush, darling. Good thing I’ve got my headphones in so Rooster and Fritz can’t hear you.
A voice message came in before you could respond. “Just realized I haven’t said Happy Christmas Eve to my girls. I’m heading to the mess for dinner in a minute, so I’ll sign off for now. I’ll keep checking my phone now that we’re not on blackout. I hope your Charlie horse is gone, and promise me you’re taking care of yourself. I love you and Sloane so much, darlin’. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Love you.”
After making sure to save the message, you sent him one back. “I love you, Jake. Can’t wait to see you, too. Merry Christmas, babe.”
It took a long time to fall asleep once the muscle spasm ended. True to your word, you ate the banana and sipped your water while listening to Jake’s messages again, eventually falling asleep to him saying he loved you.
Christmas Eve was spent preparing dinner the following night, and Mom borrowed the car for some last-minute shopping. When she got back and asked for you to distract Dad, you decided to go to the hardware store and pick out paint swatches.
The store was a madhouse, but even that couldn’t take the smile off your face as Jake sent you texts throughout the day. For him, it was already Christmas, and he had the day off. Sprinkled through the messages about how much he missed you were snippets of what the crew was doing to celebrate the holiday, including pictures of trees in the mess and hangers. The highlight, however, was a video of Santa launching a jet that Mav piloted, wearing his own Santa hat stretched over his helmet. You showed your dad that one, and he begrudgingly agreed it was a cool tradition.
You saved a picture of Jake wearing a headband with elf ears, a broad grin on his mouth, as your new lock screen.
You felt like a kid that night, dozing off as your parents watched It’s A Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story, a bowl of homemade popcorn on your lap. Eventually, you were sent to bed, where it was hard to fall asleep with the anticipation of speaking to your husband the following morning. It didn’t help that, to center yourself, you played Jake’s voice notes with the phone resting on your stomach. Hearing her father’s voice, Sloane became more active and calmed down when you moved the phone to your pillow. You slept fitfully, waking with a jolt from dreams of missing the call.
The anticipation reached a height on Christmas morning. Your eyes strayed to the phone every few seconds, even though you knew there were hours before Jake would call. You kept glancing at the time while eating breakfast and drinking your only cup of coffee for the day. Knowing you were distracted, your parents didn’t push opening stockings or presents.
So, as the clock ticked closer to eight, your parents encouraged you to find a private place to talk with your husband first. Retreating to the bedroom, you settled against the headboard, squirming to get comfortable. Setting the laptop on your legs, you lifted your stretched-out sweatshirt and lightly stroked your belly, feeling Sloane’s head pressed against your side. “Daddy’s gonna call us soon, baby girl,” you said softly. “Are you gonna wake up so he can see you?”
Your alarm went off at 7:59AM, and you quickly silenced it before tapping the laptop to wake it. And, at precisely 8:00, it started to ring.
Jake’s broad grin filled the screen when you answered the call. Unlike the previous times he’d called you, you could see that he was in a room with other people, each with headphones on. He looked so happy, and, mortifyingly, you burst into tears at the sight of him. “Merry Christ… hey, darlin’ - what’re those tears for?”
“Sorry,” you gasped, wiping at your face. “Sorry, I just - ”
“Don’t apologize,” he said quickly. Through bleary eyes, you saw his brow furrowed. “You okay, sweetheart?”
“I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. Tell me what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just miss you so much. How was the exercise?”
“Great, it’s done,” Jake smirked. “Now tell me what’s making you cry on Christmas.”
“Jake.” He huffed your name, and you rolled your eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about it. I want this to be a good call, and we can discuss it later.”
“So there is something to discuss.” Your lower lip wobbled, and you pressed them into a thin line.
“Please?” you said softly. Jake’s playful expression disappeared.
“Darlin’, talk to me.” Though you’d promised yourself that this call would only be about Christmas, you told him everything. How Dr. Shearer had put you back onto an anti-depressant, and you had an appointment to start therapy in January. The nightmares you’d had about him dying before getting to meet Sloane. You felt like you were letting everyone down by struggling to get through the deployment, and you worried it would be more complicated once your daughter arrived.
“A-and I n-never want you to f-feel like you have to choose b-between us and your car-career,” you hiccupped.
“It’s never a choice, darlin’,” Jake sighed, fists clenching in his sweatpants. He wanted so badly to be home right then. “You and Sloane are my priority.”
“Nooo,” you groaned, pressing the sleeves of your shirt to your eyes. “T-that’s not the p-point. You shouldn’t have to c-choose just ‘c-cause I can’t handle my s-shit.”
Jake sighed your name, then repeated it in a firmer tone when you didn’t look at him. Lowering one hand, you peeked at him through your fingers. “Better, but lemme see your pretty face, honey,” he said. Groaning, you dropped your hands. “There’s my girl. I need you to listen when I say this again - you and Sloane are my priority. You two are always gonna be my top priority. So if you need to be on medication right now, and it's safe for both of you, that’s what we’re gonna do.”
“Jake - ” you sniffled, and he shook his head, cutting you off.
“You’re being fuckin’ hard on yourself right now, and you need to give yourself a break, darlin’. This isn’t a normal deployment, honey. You’re not gonna be pregnant every time we do this.”
“I-I think…” Hiccupping, you shook your head. “I…” You clapped a hand to your mouth to keep the words going through your head for the last few weeks from slipping out.
“Talk to me,” Jake pleaded. You felt so guilty, seeing his heartbroken expression as you cried over what was supposed to be a fun call.
“I don’t wanna ruin your Christmas.” Groaning, he glanced at his watch and shook his head.
“Christmas is officially over for me. Tell me what’s bothering you, sweetheart.”
“I think it’s finally hitting that I’m gonna have to do this alone.” Even as you watched Jake’s face fall, you couldn’t stop. “I’m so happy I came out to see you, but it felt like such a tease, and it was easier to get through this before I got to kiss you and have you be a part of the pregnancy.”
“Darlin’…” he sighed. You could see the hurt on his face, and it broke your heart. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, babe - I’m not… I’m not saying it right.” At that moment, you wanted nothing more than to bury your face in your husband’s neck and hide, to feel his strong arms around you. “I-I…it’s been a fucking rollercoaster,” you choked out. “I’m so, so happy I came out there - please don’t think I’m not,” you pleaded, resting a hand on your belly where Sloane was still. “B-but seeing you and then not being able to t-talk to you was really, really hard.”
“I know, darlin’. It’s been hard for me, too, so I can’t even imagine what it’s been like for you.” And your husband, who always seemed to know exactly what to say to make you feel better, was at a loss for words. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he repeated.
“At least it’s only for another month and a half, right?” you said, pasting on that fake smile he hadn’t seen in so long. Seeing what you were doing - trying to put him at ease - Jake only shook his head.
“At least there’s that.”
“Did you have a good Christmas?” His shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath, his green eyes piercing you through the screen.
“Darlin’, I’ll drop it for now, but we’re gonna have a serious conversation about this later, alright?”
“D-do we have to?” you asked in a quiet voice.
“Yes. Absolutely.” His firm tone disappeared at the sight of you wiping your face, lip wobbling again. “I love you, darlin’. I had a good Christmas. What about you? Have you opened presents yet?”
“Not yet.” Grasping the out like a lifeline, you forced your voice to be bright. “Wanted to talk to you first. But Mom and Dad went overboard, and there’s a ton of presents under the tree for Sloane. Wanna see?”
For the next twenty minutes, you spoke with Jake and took the laptop to the living room. You knew your parents clocked your reddened eyes but didn’t say anything as they caught up with their son-in-law. Jake watched you open a few presents for your daughter - mostly clothes - before saying his time was almost up and that he was heading to bed. Your parents had you sit on the couch and open one of the presents to both of you - a glass ornament that read ‘Our First Christmas’ and your wedding date on it. You put it front and center on the tree.
You stepped into the bedroom to say goodbye and tried to reassure him that you were okay. “I love you,” you sighed.
“I love you too, darlin’. So damn much.”
“I’m sorry if I upset you - ”
“I’m not upset. Not with you,” he cut you off. “We’re gonna talk about it later, but for now, I want you to enjoy your Christmas and send me pictures, alright?”
“Alright.” Your response was quiet, and he sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair.
“I just need you to be honest when something bothers you. I can’t fix it if I don’t know about it.”
“You can’t fix this, babe. You can’t come home early, and I can’t be there with you.”
“I know that,” he huffed before shaking his head again. “Later. I want you to enjoy today with your parents.”
“Okay. Merry Christmas, Jake. Sweet dreams.”
“Merry Christmas, darlin’. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” The smile he gave you was strained as he lifted his hand, and then the call disconnected.
Tears gathered in your eyes again, but you took a deep breath and forced them away. You’d already ruined Jake’s Christmas call, and the last thing you wanted to do was make it awkward for your parents. So, pasting on that fake smile again, you tucked the laptop under your arm and went back to the living room.
Javy lifted a hand and flagged you down at the arrivals. You’d offered to pick him up, as his flight landed shortly after your parents left to head back to Florida.
After tossing his bag into the trunk, he climbed into the car and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I hate traveling during the holidays,” he grumbled as you twisted to look over your shoulder to see if you could merge.
“It’s pretty horrible,” you agreed, easing into the flow of traffic. Once you were on the road, he filled you in on his trip, chuckling over stories about his nieces and nephews.
“Oh,” he said, voice suddenly serious. “You and I gotta have a conversation, too.”
“About what?” you asked, eyes flitting over to him. Did Jake say something to him about your meltdown? After getting a flower delivery the day after Christmas, a beautiful bouquet of white and lavender flowers, you’d had a heart-to-heart with your husband about how anxious you were about going into the final few weeks of your pregnancy.
You’d officially hit 33 weeks pregnant. And, while you were happy that Sloane had officially shifted into the head-down position, her frequent kicks to your rib weren’t welcomed - especially when you were dealing with shortness of breath. Not to mention that sticky notes ran your life because you’d started forgetting things. Dr. Shearer had promised you that pregnancy brain was common and talked you through tips for dealing with it, but as someone who prided themselves on attention to detail, it was a tough pill to swallow.
It didn’t help that the website you read for advice suggested leaning on your partner to help manage the mental load.
The only benefit of the visit had been listening to Sloane’s heartbeat, which you had recorded and sent to Jake. He’d been doing his best to check in more often, texting and calling whenever possible. And the idea of him looping Javy into that was mortifying.
“You and I gotta make a plan for what happens when this one comes,” he said, motioning to your stomach.
“What?”
“Yeah. I told Mama that I was gonna be a godfather, and she knows Hangman’s deployed. So she was asking me who was gonna get you to the hospital. I told her it’d probably be me,” he shrugged, a self-conscious expression on his face, “and she and my sisters got on me about making sure I knew the fastest route and timing contractions. So yeah, we gotta make a plan so I can get them off my back.”
“Oh,” you said, swallowing around the lump in your throat. You hadn’t thought too much about your plan to get to the hospital. Your parents had assured you that they would be on the first plane out as soon as you said you were in labor. “I…w-we can do that. My doctor suggested some classes to get ready for the birth, so I figured I would just go to those.”
“Great. Lemme know when they are, and I’ll see if I can get the time off.” Thankfully, you were at a red light and didn’t slam on the breaks.
“What?”
“What?”
“You want to go to birthing classes?”
“I mean,” he shrugged, an awkward smile crossing his mouth. “I figured I’d stay with you until your parents got there. Unless you want someone else. Maybe Phoenix?”
“Javy,” you croaked, tears gathering in your eyes. “Are you serious?”
“Don’t worry about it - it was a stupid thought. I’ll get you to the hospital and sit in the waiting room. You can just text if you - ”
“Send me a text, and I’ll send you the class schedule. I’ll forget otherwise.” A second later, your phone chimed with an alert, and you saw that he’d sent you the reminder. “You and Jake are gonna have to compare notes. He’s taking a first-time fatherhood class online.”
“Good. Now that the exercise is done, he’ll have more free time and can do that instead of harassing the other pilots about their shitty flying during the sorties.”
“That sounds like my husband,” you sighed.
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Author's Note: Apologies for the delay in getting this out - writer's block hit hard. This wasn't originally supposed to be so angsty, but Darlin's been holding back a lot to make sure that Jake can focus on work, and it kind of spilled out. But how freaking awesome is Godfather Coyote? Oh, and I based the exercise off this one.
Thank you to @dizzybee03 for the nudge I needed to finish this chapter today!
(If you missed it, I also posted a slightly spoiler-y blurb about D-Day earlier today. All head canons/blurbs are posted on the Masterlist.)
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hi! im a really big fan of your fanfics (especially the wally ones) and i’m really curious to know what are songs that you associate with him?? please don’t be afraid to share!!! i really like talking and gushing over wally darling with a fellow wally simp lol
hey there anon!! 💖 aww my goodness you are so lovely, thank you!! it brings my heart so much joy that you like my writing...i can't believe the surge of wonderful feedback fired my way over this past week 🙈🙈 what a fun question!! there's a few songs i associate with Wally right now, and i'm sure more will pop up as we learn more about him;;; some are less overt, and more to do with Wally x Reader vibes - or, my terrible musical taste/hallucinating scenarios while listening to the same twenty songs 😂 fun simp challenge!! have a listen to a few of these with your eyes shut, thinking about Wally. you're guaranteed to have a good time 😉
Songs I Associate with Wally Darling:
Touch-Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon. no one could've seen this one coming 😂 no, as soon as i discovered Welcome Home i knew i'd finally found the right character to edit this song with. the conspiracy theory, cryptic vibes, slight desperation and of course retro-phone theming all work so well for Wally! 🥰
Out of My Mind by CG5. total coincidence that this banger dropped just as i learned about Welcome Home, and there's something cathartic and hypnotic about that repetitive chorus that fits with a lot of theories about Wally's struggles with Home...i had this one on repeat while writing The Nightmare Picnic 👀
An Unhealthy Obsession by The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra. this one's for all the yandere!Wally fans out there - i think every person who's a fan of terrifying, obsessive characters loves this song 😉 this is the one had on repeat while writing those yandere!Wally headcanons - i actually included it to listen to whilst reading in the original post, but i ran out of space!! 🙈
INSANE by Black Gryphon & Baasik. i know, strike me down for including a song made specifically for another Tumblr Sexyman on this list!!! but come on - the static, the showmanship, the overt friendliness masking a smiling, curious sadism...don't pretend like you don't enjoy this take on Wally, i've seen the fanart 😂
LA Devotee by Panic! at the Disco. this one's jam-packed with fun occult imagery and all about fame and obsession, so it feels perfect for our children's puppet show ARG!! something about it just hits right with how the fandom perceives the darker side of Wally 😳 i'm listening to this a lot at the moment as i've got a Metalocalypse MEP part to this song in the works, but my thoughts can't help wandering to Mr. Darling;;
Super Psycho Love by Simon Curtis. lord help me, you can tell i was in the AMV-making community in the late 2000s/early 2010s 😂 this song's a staple for attentive, manipulative, obsessive characters...even if we end up being totally wrong, and Wally is a Darling in more than name, we'll always have fun with our unhealthily possessive fantasies 🥰
Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. hey, i'm a basic bitch - i love listening to sugary-sweet, fluffworthy AMV music whilst writing my x Readers 🙈💖 a lot of the folks who request Wally often bear a little bit of their souls when asking - revealing insecurities about themselves, and wanting to be reassured he'd love them anyway. this is such a pretty, nostalgic song, and i think it captures the softness with which many of us would like to be treated by him ✨
Crush by Mandy Moore. similar to the last entry, yet leaning even more into that bubblegum romance vibe...i'm simply weak for blushy crush scenarios 🥴💖 i like this one a lot for x Readers, especially an embarrassed Reader absolutely overcome with how precious they find Wally 💖
Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng. one of my favourite songs of all time, and the perfect choice if you want your heart to ache 💔 i think this is a wonderful choice when thinking about a hurt Reader...someone who has fully given up on love, only to be confronted with Wally's relentless sunshine personality and falling head over heels 🥺 this song speaks to why i think many of us are infatuated with Wally...his charm coming from that childlike outlook, his tendency to love everything and everyone. lots of us could benefit from that kind of unconditional love, i think;;
#wally darling x reader#wally darling x you#wally darling#welcome home#welcome home arg#starleskasks
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Day 79 Heading to the desert
Today we start our private four day tour with Mustafa from Colourful Morocco Tours, Marrakesh to Fes. I had another terrible nights' sleep with a consistent headache so I may have missed some interesting sights as I couldn’t keep my eyes open 🥴 Mustafa said I missed “road”. But what I saw out the window was really interesting, a photographer's dream. I did ask a couple of times to stop to take pictures of green doors in Boumalne Dades, near where we are staying, but either it got lost in translation or Mustafa doesn't understand my obsession with doors! He said "you'll see a lot"! But I wanted to take pictures of the best ones!!
First stop was a picture opportunity of the High Atlas Mountains, which we drove through.
Then onto a local argan co-operative where Rose and I tasted argan oil with bread, interesting, a bit tasteless really, we also tried the local honey and almond butter with argan, which was very good. We purchased lip balm and hair masks.
Next stop the famous Aït Benhaddou which was used as a site in films and tv series such as Lawrence of Arabia, Gladiator, Game of Thrones and the Amazing Race Australia 6! Our guide said that all residents left the ksar and moved to a neighbouring area and the original Unesco town is used for business, although we did not see it thriving as many businesses are still closed due to Eid public holidays. Rose declined the walk to the view point at the top 😳
I had the best chicken pastilla at a nearby restaurant, with icing sugar and cinnamon on top, and not fried and we also tasted Moroccan olive oil. It does have a different flavour to the Italian oil I'm used to, but it is still good. I have asked Mustafa if we might pass an area to buy some. It is usually harvested late in the year, so let's hope they are not sold out or closed.
On to Ouarzazate and the Atlas Movie Studios. We decided not to spend an hour inside the studio but had a look from outside.
We drove through the Valley of the Roses, which I imagine is spectacular in May (so for those looking for travel tips, I'd definitely recommend adding this to your list at the right time of year). I asked if we could stop at a co-operative to view the products, but sadly they were closed too. Mustafa also didn’t stop so I could take a picture. I’m going to be more assertive tomorrow 😂
What has been noticeable, when I was awake, was the quality build of all the mosques in every village compared to the state of the village itself. In some small places there was a mosque on either side of the road. Mustafa said the government pay for the mosques to be constructed. And the storks and their huge nests are here as well, using the mosque as home.
Overnight we’re staying at Sultan Dades which overlooks the city of Boumaine Dades. It’s quite windy. They have an unairconditioned gym! While I was in the gym Rose went with Mustafa and a friend of his to find vapes, I just asked for water 😂
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Lesson Learned Too Well
There is many hard things I’ve come to face after narcissistic abuse….
one of them is, now, I observe every person I meet or come in contact with. No one gets close to me without I observe them first and even then, I’m afraid they could drop their “mask” at any point and time.
You NEED people and you NEED connections. A person can not survive in this world without love and human connections. You will starve yourself if you isolate yourself too far. You’ll be just as cold as the narcissist and honestly when you hang with a duck, you act like one.
when you’ve been with a narcissist and learn they can only damage you, you then are so hurt that it affects you negatively and you often end up hurting those who have tried to defend you against the narcissist. I know I pushed away friends who kept trying to open my eyes to truth. I was so angry and embarrassed that they were right about my ex and how he was lying/cheating. I found myself not wanting to even acknowledge their friendship because they told me the truth about my relationship with Andrew and I felt they “spoiled” it. I felt they wanted us to break up so bad and believed they were against me when they didn’t deserve me to treat them like that. 😔
I don’t wanna be cold because prior to the narcissist, I was the most loving and giving person to everyone I met. I could lend a helping hand to any stranger before but NOW I don’t wanna meet a stranger hardly. I stick to my small circle of people that I am choosing to trust and let in my door….
I literally have to now push myself to trust those in my life and I push myself to show them love and compassion. I often miss the days when I could show a hand of friendship to anyone BUT the pain of my ex narcissists was so great, I never wanna experience it again.
if I see ANY signs of narcissism from anyone, first I notice that person will be afraid to be around me because I can detect them and I can expose them but also I push them away and don’t even let them near me and I’m angry when they attach with people I love.
I know narcissist are humans too like me and need compassion same as me. I have tried to forgive my exes over and over. I’ve tried to feel sorry for them and I would never hurt them the way they hurt me but my opinions towards them is far from nice. 🥴 The anger my ex, Andrew, put inside me was more than I could handle. Andrew made me hate myself and hate everything around me. I didn’t wanna live after Andrew kept gaslighting me and treating me like I’m crazy.
from what I understand, most narcissists come from a place of “trauma” that’s why they cause you trauma… Being such an empathetic person, I had believed I could love Andrew enough to change him and affect him but nothing I said or did was enough to impact his life. He kept right on lying and cheating towards me. When I confronted his cheating, he put the blame back on me and tried to make me believe I was so stupid and did not know what the truth was. He tried to make believe I was misunderstanding the whole situation and that I didn’t “trust” him enough… wow. 🥺
Since Andrew, I put up a guard toward everyone. I did meet my husband and married him but I’ve battled trusting my husband and letting him 100% into my heart. I’ve almost expected him to lie and cheat. I’ve waited for “the let down” and I’ve waited to be disappointed. I’ve even mentally packed my bags to eventually have to move back home and YET my husband continues to show me he’s trustworthy. I’ve had to force myself to relax and get comfortable. I’ve had to work at convincing myself my marriage is good and will last forever.
I’ve not done all the work on my own!! I’ve prayed to Jesus over and over and over…. I’ve cried out for understanding and for the truth. Nothing has gotten better over night. It’s hard work to make progress daily. Each day is a new day to only grow as a person.
don’t let the narcissist steal your love, hope and dreams… don’t give up!! Don’t shut the whole world out over one or two bad apples. There is still people out there who CAN treat you with respect. No one is perfect!! Remember this, “you get what you give”!!! Maybe you’re scared to try again in love but some people are actually worth the risk!! 🥰 My husband was the nicest guy I ever met and I could literally feel a difference in being around him compared to my ex narcissists!!!
Don’t give up and don’t give in to the coldness brought on by the narcissist! Stay close to the light and continue to let love inside of you. Don’t lose your friends like I did… you can not survive alone!!
#emotional abuse#narcissistic abuse#self healing#unpacking#my story#self awareness#healingjourney#online relationships#narcissism#heartbreak#truth#hope#inspirational#motivational#overcoming narcissistic abuse#narcissistic personality disorder#dont give up#faith in jesus#jesus christ#love
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i disagree, i think the whole point of greywaren and the trilogy overall was that much (not all, obviously) of declan's "parenting" or like micromanaging/obsessive behaviors/constant monitoring of himself and his brothers--that all was unhealthy, unsustainable, and was always gonna backfire at some point. the behaviors passed down to declan from niall and aurora--the hiding and lying and repressing and not talking about things--those were always going to be the brothers' downfall, and they had to unlearn them at some point. i think that by the end of greywaren, declan understands this and is already making an effort to heal.
like he was constantly worried about ronan and trying to help ronan pass as normal in a world that was dangerous for him, but in the trilogy that obviously backfired hard because turns out that's not what ronan needed and it was an unsustainable approach all along.
declan was worried about keeping matthew's origins a secret so that nobody would doubt he was a real person, when really what matthew needed was to come to terms with the fact that he was a dream and still also a person, that those things are not opposites.
finally, declan was constantly masking himself and lying to himself, trying to keep his suppressed trauma and unresolved feelings at bay so that he wouldn't have to confront them. but turns out, once again, that was not sustainable. he couldn't keep micromanaging himself any more than he could his brothers because it was deeply unhealthy for them all.
declan keeps parenting matthew until he's an adult, sure. but he no longer feels the need to keep every detail of their lives a secret not only from the outside world but from themselves as well because he's seen how that just causes damage. he stops trying to make himself boring and "normal" because he realizes that he is the one making himself miserable.
also, one last thing on ronan--i think his avoiding responsibility was also a sort of behavior that niall and aurora taught him and declan--ronan doesn't understand anything, declan does, so declan cleans up the messes and everyone tells ronan to forget it ever happened. right?
ronan never liked this dynamic. this is what caused a rift between the brothers, this learned dynamic that made declan ronan's keeper. ronan fought against this dynamic for 6 books, but he just didn't know how to get out of it--because in the end, not only did roman have to learn who he really was, but declan also had to unlearn those behaviors before they could even begin to fix their relationship.
sorry didn't mean to write an essay but i can't help it when it comes to greywaren and the lynch brothers🥴
insane that declans entire character revolves around the exhaustion of being parentised his entire life and at AGED 21 all he wants is like 1 singular weekend off. Which he could easily do if RONAN took any amount of responsibility at all. And this went on for 4+2 books. And then you know how Greywaren ended??? it ended with Ronan fucking off zero responsibility and declan still raising Matthew and worrying that now BOTH HIS WIFE and his brother could drop any moment bc of their stupid as fuck dreamers
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15 Questions for 15 Mutuals
Tagged by @theanimepsychologist, thank you so much! This was fun❤️
Are you named after anyone?
• an entire continent beloved. Why? I have no idea. My mom said she liked the name. Bright side? It means sunrise and resurrection and I literally feel like I’m recreating myself all the time. Also, it’s an iconic name. Bad side? Whenever I got in trouble at school or around town, I couldn’t blame anyone else because no one has the name.
When was the last time you cried?
• Last night after drinking an entire bottle of wine🫠
Do you have kids?
• I’m too immature for children 🥴
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
• Yes, it’s quite literally a personality trait.
What sports do you play/have you played?
•Softball and Lacrosse (which is unheard of in the south lol). I wanted to play soccer but my mom didn’t think I should play contact sports
What’s the first thing you notice about other people?
• Their smile or their eyes
Eye color?
• Dark brown!
Scary movies or happy endings?
• Scary movies. I love horror and thriller movies and enjoy a good twist at the end
Any special talents?
• I’ve survived this far and have survived a lot of crazy stuff. Quite literally a miracle
Where were you born?
• The US, and I’m still here unfortunately 😒
What are your hobbies?
• I’m getting into painting. I like to cook. I like to workout. I love skincare. I like to do my nails and do hair care mask. Making Pinterest boards. Reading (currently in a slump). Trying new restaurants. I’m actually trying to find new hobbies to stick with (I have ADHD🫠) so comment some that you suggest!
Do you have any pets?
•My baby Bella. Love this dog. She’s been with me from being a preteen to approaching my mid twenties ❤️ best doggo
How tall are you?
• 5’3 or 5’4. Every time I go to the doctor they give me a different one but it’s always those 2 lol 😒
Fave subject in school?
• Science, anthropology and psychology. I love the human brain, I loved learning about different cultures and I wanted to be a marine biologist or archaeologist as a child (I think the archaeology part came from watching the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants tho)
Dream job?
• I don’t think I’m adult enough to answer this question lol. I quite literally don’t know.
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