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caligvlasaqvarivm · 7 months ago

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Love is Stored in the Cat: A Nepeta Leijon Character Study

I guess these are a series now! I also have a request for Feferi in my inbox that I'll get around to eventually.

SO! Dear, sweet Nepeta.

Nepeta is the troll that is most against the existence of the hemocaste.

I believe the Ultimate Self speech was originally going to be from her, not Davepetasprite^2.

She's bad at shipping.

These all make her extremely impurrtant!!!

So furst of all, I'm going to start with the same disclaimer as my Eridan essay (go read that first!!! It sets up a lot of ideas that I'm expanding on here), which is that the things Hussie says are going to be lowered in value, because he likes to play coy about plot stuff. I'm also not counting anything but the actual text as canon, and even with in that text, I'm counting everything after GAME OVER as soft canon - a suggestion of what would have been, often truncated for time, often a deliberate middle finger to the shitty fandom.

Okay, so with that squared away!

Nepeta Says Fuck The Hemocaste

I'm not going to bother doing a deep dive on Nepeta's characterization, because fur the most part, I think the fandom more or less gets her right - she wears her heart (h33h33) on her sl33ve, after all! She's a very sweet little catgirl who loves roleplay and shipping, who is also a vicious hunter of wild beasts and lives in a cave. She's very nice and friendly, but has a tough streak and a spine.

She also says fuck the hemocaste, why does that even exist:

CT: D --> Your fraternization with the base classes have 100sened your morals, can't you see this AC: :33 < no! i dont care, they are fun AC: :33 < and i dont know anything about classes or bases or blood color, it doesn't matter! AC: :33 < what does gr33n blood even mean! it doesnt mean anything to me and it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else!

This is a radical stance not outright shared by any of the other trolls. Aradia calls highbloods "hateful sn0bs" that she and Tavros shouldn't have "ever had anything t0 d0 with", the highbloods are, of course, all casteist to varying degrees, and even Karkat seems fairly accepting of the class divide, at one point taunting Vriska that her rejection from the blue team is "ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY". Not to mention his long-held dream of becoming a threshecutioner.

Even Feferi, despite saying to Eridan that "W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!!", is actually perfectly comfortable with the caste system's existence, comparing having to stop using her royal typing quirk to "peasant-IFICATING" herself - and let's not forget that a Beforus under her rule had its caste system 100% intact.

This means that Nepeta is the ONLY troll who has said, in no uncertain terms, that the caste system should not exist. It's stupid, it's bad, and it doesn't meowtter!

AND SHE'S RIGHT.

But she's never able to fully express this opinion, which brings us to:

A COMPLICKATED RELATIONSHIP WITH EQUIUS

Now, before I say anything, I must insist that I do believe these two work as good moirails. That does not, however, stop them from being 13, and therefore, being poor to each other the way 13-year-olds sometimes are. I don't think they should break up; I think they should re-examine certain dynamics, and I think they need some space to breathe apart from each other.

Equius has a lot of problems, which I won't get into overmuch here, because... that's a whole essay on its own (are you people seeing a trend yet). But with regards to Nepeta specifically, he's extremely controlling and protective, to the point where she's a little scared of him before the game begins:

AC: :33 < well it does sound like it will be a lot of fun but i think i should get purrmission first GC: BL4R!!!!! GC: TH4TS SO STUP1D GC: H3S NOT TH3 BOSS OF YOU AC: :33 < i know! AC: :33 < but still im kind of scared of him and i think purrhaps its best to just run it by him first so there isnt a kerfuffle about it or anything

She's also afraid to tell him about her crush on Karkat, since she knows he doesn't like Karkat:

AC: :33 < well AC: :33 < i have never told anybody this not even my moirail AC: :33 < heh, actually hes the LAST guy i might tell, he so wouldnt appurrve X33 AC: :33 < but yes i have liked somebody for quite some time, but alas he doesnt know it

By the time they end their game, she's gotten over this fear, seeing as she spends many hours curled up with Equius in a pile of robotics parts, but it still must be noted that they have some issues in their relationship that were never resolved, primarily on Equius's end. What this means for Nepeta, however, is that in addition to setting her up as the most outright anti-classism troll, the comic sets her up to be socially isolated due to her moirail's paranoia about letting her associate with both lowbloods (seeing them as bad influences) OR other highbloods, seeing them as dangerous.

He's not entirely wrong - his refusal to allow her to participate in FLARP kept her from winding up entangled in the horrible chain of revenge, as Tavros alludes:

AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM, AC: :33 < i dont know AC: :33 < you think so? AT: wELL, AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE, AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE, AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU, AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps

But he's still wrong. And it's probably an uncontrolled manifestation of his Heir of Void abilities - he's both consciously and unconsciously hiding her from other people.

This isn't to say she doesn't stand up for herself! Many of her discussions with Equius are pseudo-arguments, and she does get her way often enough, managing to get him to roleplay with her, and managing to get him back in the roboti% pile to talk about his feelings about Aradia. She also talks to the humans explicitly against Equius's orders, although she's keeping it a sneakret from him:

NEPETA: :33 < but equius already furbid me from doing that :(( NEPETA: :33 < not that i am listening to him, but shhhhh! :33 KARKAT: WAIT, HE DID? KARKAT: OK, THEN AS YOUR LEADER I ORDER YOU TO RP WITH THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BE AS OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN. NEPETA: :33 < yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

But the fact that she has to tiptoe around him like this speaks to them having issues in their relationship that go unexamined and unresolved, especially since it's clear that Nepeta really would like to be friends with more people, were Equius not getting in her way. So, even though I do think they are good moirails for each other - they clearly genuinely, deeply care about one another. But they could use some relationship counselling.

In fact, Jasprosesprite^2 outright calls her lonely:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Or the girl who likes ships! Cause they made her less lonely. ;3

So, she's anti-hemocaste and lonely, two character traits that were set up and never resolved. And beclaws this is Nepeta, in her honor, I'm going to talk about a third:

Her Unrequited Crush On Karcat

She has the BIGGEST flushed crush on Karkat. It's seen on her shipping wall twice, once with the word OTP on it.

And, despite never discussing it with her moirail, Nepeta mentions it once to Jaspersprite, and once to Jasprosesprite^2.

Now, I'm not really here to debate on the validity of KatNep - I think it's fine, even if I don't personally ship it, and don't personally think it would work out (there are lots of indications that they wouldn't work out, including Jasprosesprite^2 outright saying so). However, her crush on Karkat is both complicated and creates some interesting setups for her character. I am going to discuss it fairly critically either way, so KatNep shippers have been warned.

A lot of her feelings about Karkat - and about shipping in general - wind up being heavily interlinked with her status as a Hero of Heart, so I'm going to expand on it more there. But what I will note in this section is the fact that, despite Nepeta insisting twice that she doesn't think Karkat knows about her crush on her:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < it was karkat NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i never told him and im pretty sure he never found out how i felt!

He tooootally did:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK?

Interpret that how you will for shipping purposes, but I want to propose that this is a reflection of their statuses as Heart and Blood players. Heart, despite its players' obsessions with romance, is not the romance aspect, Blood is. Karkat displays this very same romantic acumen when he tells Dave that he's known Terezi and Gamzee were a thing for a long time, despite everyone else on the meteor trying to keep it a secret from him. Heart is, instead, about identity, feelings, motivations, souls, and self. In other words:

Nepeta Is Kind Of Bad At Shipping

Let's take a look at those shipping walls.

Let's break this down a little. Nepeta's ships are not entirely wrong, but even the successful ones are kind of wrong. Here's what I mean. We've already discussed how Equius and Nepeta's moirallegiance has some... issues in it. If we go down her list of ships that actually do happen, most of them have some issues in them!

Aradia expresses her regret for getting together with Equius in the Ministrife. Kanaya and Rose suffer some major relationship problems when Rose starts drinking, to the point Karkat feels a need to step in as an auspice. Karkat and Gamzee fail, as Karkat is not calmed by Gamzee, and Gamzee stops listening to Karkat. And while Sollux and Feferi seem to be fairly healthy, after they both wind up in the Furthest Ring, he's pretty much always next to Aradia - he and Feferi don't even get to exchange words with each other once they're in the Furthest Ring. Purrsonally, I think he and Feferi are meant to end up as moirails, but shhhh.

So what's happening here? Well, this goes back to her identity as a Heart player. Heart is concerned with feelings and motivations.

They simply want to understand the one thing we all are stuck with for our entire lives, i.e. our own minds. Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story. That isn't to say Heart-bound don't care deeply for their friends and allies; they just have a tendency to assume that everyone is as concerned with identity as they are.

Nepeta's shipping has also been associated with her isolation and loneliness. When you put this together, it implies that Nepeta's shipping is about her desire to understand others, and much of her ships are based on one of the parties having feelings, regardless of compatibility, feasibility, or broader implications. After all, despite the fact that she has pretty terrible romantic acumen, she IS able to instinctively identify that Eridan's advances toward her were insincere:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well ok i guess eridan hit on me a few times NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but his advances always struck me as cr33py and insincere

And that Karkat secretly LOVES and RESPECTS his friends:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: On the contrary Nepeta. You deserve someone who will RESPECT and ADORE you. NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well... yes NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i always hoped to find someone like that some day NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dunno maybe youre right but in spite of whatever problems he might have i always felt like i saw something in him that made me think he could be that purrson!

Or knowing that Equius loves to play games, and still feels sad about Aradia exploding:

AC: :33 < i s33 right through your stupid act, who are you trying to kid! AC: :33 < look how you go out of your way to use words that have x's in them so that you can use your silly purrcent signs AC: :33 < or use these absurd words that you can shoehorn a '100' into, even if its not strictly replacing 'loo'!!! AC: :33 < you are so transpurrent AC: :33 < i can tell you like to play games, d33p down you are a guy who likes to play games! AC: :33 < i can smell a guy who likes to play games from so fur away with this nose, you have no idea X33

NEPETA: :33 < she was so happy, just like she used to be, and she said she would s33 you soon! EQUIUS: D --> That's a nice thought, and thank you for sharing it EQUIUS: D --> But it was only a dream, and will surely have no consequence in reality NEPETA: :33 < equius? NEPETA: :33 < are those f33lings i an detecting with my wiggly whiskery nose? EQUIUS: D --> Maybe

Because feelings, and not relationships, are her actual domain.

And speaking of Heart powers...

Nepeta and the Ultimate Self

So from this point forward, I'm going to assume you're more or less agreeing with my take that at some point after Game Over, Hussie - for whatever reason - gave up on his original ending, and wound up truncating his ideas so he could finish the comic faster. I go more into detail about that here.

So, in this hypothetical original ending, I firmly believe that the speech about the Ultimate Self would have come from Nepeta. First, let's take a look at what the "Ultimate Self" entails, as it appears within the comic:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everything that ever happens to every version of you is an important part of your ultimate self... like a superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space and unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but in your physical form there are all these partitions in your mind that prevent you from remembering any of that which makes your existence f33l totally linear DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < which is probably for the best! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in a regular body s33ing all that would be too overwhelming ... DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and after it sinks in for a while you start coming to this understanding of a greater self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe i "got it" quicker though because of the two people i was and their aspects DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < understanding heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nepeta never got to make much headway with her aspect but shes finally gettin the chance DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the time aspect is all about running into different versions of yourself so you kinda get confronted with it in a really literal way that can be disturbing DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < obviously davesprite stuggled with that too, but now its fine DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hes fr33 from worrying about it all and what it means for his place in reality DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < because he can s33 now all his selves have relevance in painting the full picture of who he truly is DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im not COMPLETELY sure because im not like some sort of ASPECT MASTER but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my avian slash feline intuition tells me that all roads will lead you here eventually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < gaining the d33pest possible understanding of any aspect will bring you to the same final conclusion about your ultimate self

Now, I believe - and I hope you'll agree - that it's kind of lame, narratively, for Davesprite to have been set up with so much angst about not being the "real Dave," and for Nepeta to have all her issues with loneliness and shyness, and for these two specific iterations of each other to have never interacted, but suddenly getting double-prototyped fixes all of their problems, and they achieve Ultimate Selfhood despite being two total strangers to each other. So let's instead break down the more salient points about what Ultimate Selfhood entails, divorced from the fact that it's Davepetasprite^2 doing the narrating:

Every player in the game possesses an "Ultimate Self," an ultimate culmination of all their experiences and memories, specifically referred to as a "persona"

Normally, people are not aware of this, because it would be too overwhelming to deal with so many memories and iterations of each other.

Everyone will achieve Ultimate Selfhood eventually as the final culmination of their understanding of their aspect.

Heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self.

Let's talk about that last one some more, and by that I mean, let's see what Calliope has to say about it:

TT: I don't know why it had to be this way for me. Juggling these two waking selves at once. TT: I guess I'm used to it, but it still makes for a pretty intense existence. TT: Do you even know what the deal with that is? Like is there any precedent in your readings? UU: i don't know aboUt precedent, bUt it makes plenty of sense to me as the type of path one might expect for a hero of heart. UU: a path rUled by the heart aspect can be a joUrney of splintered self. UU: that is, the player's being may exhibit the same kind of fragmentation which certain classes coUld caUse in others. UU: i think this is what has triggered yoUr dUal-awareness between waking and dream selves, thoUgh it woUld not sUrprise me if the symptoms manifested in even more ways than this.

Now, Dirk has a clawmplicated relationship with his alternate selves, given that he's a Prince, but Nepeta wouldn't have the same struggles, or at least, not to the same degree. The problem is, hampered by Equius and her own shyness about discussing her thoughts and feelings with others:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i get so shy and worried what people might think of me if i say how i f33l NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im always so scared that they wont f33l the same way or just think im stupid or pathetic or something

She never actually gets to explore this part of herself.

But What If... She Did?

The way I imagine the original ending going is that each troll that gets saved by John's interference in the timeline then asks John to help them fix their own mistakes, thereby saving somebody else. Each successive trip through the meteor brings new character development, and also riddles the comic with progressively more password pages, which I think would be really funny. And throughout all this the Game Over team is searching for Vriska, Meenah, and the treasure, and resolving their arcs that way, so it's not like they would be replaced - they're the ones who get to kill LE. The process, in my mind, goes like this:

Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent her from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.

Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.

Tavros staying alive means that he and Gamzee wind up hashing out some stuff - Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. This is interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. So having Tavros back, alive, means that he and Gamzee would likely end up in some sort of relationship, probably pale despite flushed leanings, and would bring Gamzee back into the fold.

Gamzee would then be like, yeah, wow, that time I killed Nepeta and Equius was pretty bad, huh? Especially since his decision to hang onto his friends' bodies and prototype them is often interpreted as him genuinely feeling bad about his dead friends (he tells Kurloz to shut up when Kurloz mentions all the dead friends, and his religion seems to be about a paradise he wants to share with his friends anyway). So he'd ask John to prevent him from killing them, resulting in the two of them getting to live.

Things get much more hypothetical from here, since so much of the character dynamics would have changed, but I think by this point, Equius might command ask John to let him say goodbye to Aradiabot before she explodes, which he expresses feeling very sad about. However, in doing so, John and Aradiabot end up in the same room, and when she realizes that he has the ability to change the timeline without repercussions, she'd seize him by the arm and demand that he take her back in time, to before she died. After all, she expresses regrets about her reckless actions, and how she always felt like it was all one big setup.

She would take Aradia's place in the Vriska revenge chain, being once more freed of her robot chassis, and from there, would trick Doc Scratch and the Handmaiden into thinking everything was still going according to their designs. Meanwhile, Alive!Aradia would be hanging out at Equius's place, borrowing his void powers to avoid notice, coordinating a new timeline that keeps the beats of the original (too much deviation causes unpredictability, and an paradox'd timeline offshoot without John's direct interference would still become doomed), but allows them greater freedom and the ability to overcome the machinations of Doc Scratch and associates.

This would also prevent Sollux from becoming so self-loathing, since it's no longer "his fault" that Aradia dies, although he winds up in that hole again after Feferi gets killed. Now that his Aradia is alive, he wouldn't feel like he might as well stay in the bubbles because his closest companions are there, so he'd make it to the end, and would ask John to prevent Feferi's death.

Eridan still dies; he's so disconnected and isolated from all his friends that his course of actions is largely unaffected even by everybody else's timeline tweaks. But before Feferi can suggest bringing him back, Karkat would butt in.

The Friendship Troll should be the one to demand that ALL of their friends be revived, especially if they had everyone except only one guy, and Karkat and Eridan are heavily implied to be moirails anyway. The course of Karkat's fixes are so comprehensive, and primarily romance-based, that the end result of this final loop is everybody not only being alive, but god-tiered, with appropriate character development.

Now, where Nepeta's Heart powers would play into all of this is that she would start to notice something going on. After all, Heart players are sensitive to their splintered selves, and (Nepeta) is probably much closer to Nepeta than regular doomed timeline offshoots. As the loops continue, and Nepeta has more and more time to talk to people, and meets her dead alternate selves, and even meets (Nepeta), she starts to awaken to her Ultimate Self - to come into possession of alternate memories.

And if the Ultimate Self is a very soul-y kind of concept, such that Heart players have a natural advantage in coming to understand it, then isn't it a natural fit that a Rogue of Heart - one who steals from Heart or steals Heart for others - would be naturally inclined to share the wisdom of her alternate selves, and even the very concept of the Ultimate Self, with her friends?

Because the Ultimate Self is actually, in my opinion, a pretty good narrative device. It turns the sadness of the dead and doomed timelines into something littersweet instead, and makes it so any weirdness regarding time travel and not really knowing your friends anymore will eventually be resolved, even if off-screen.

It's not really narratively satisfying when Davepetasprite^2 suddenly comes into being and reaches enlightenment, but imagine if instead it's a post-character development Nepeta comforting Davesprite on his relevance, or Jade on her loneliness, or John on not really knowing these new post-retcon versions of his friends? It would feel a lot better, since in this hypothetical, she would have reached that point after on-screen character development. Being able to share her true self with her friends on the meteor - by necessity, since what else are they going to be doing for three years - leads to her finally being able to fulfill her role as a Rogue of Heart.

Also, at some point during these repeated meteor trips, she dates Karkat (whether that's successful or not, I'll leave to reader interpretation - you already know where I stand), fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date Karkat after she dies.

So that's two out of thr33 of her outstanding plot hooks resolved... okay. So, I try not to make these essays into ship propaganda, but hear me out:

Hate Is Stored In The FefNep

Okay, so, remember that thing about how Feferi is actually a huge casteist hypocrite? Well, let's also note that the comic, post-Murderstuck, seems to put Nepeta and Feferi together a lot - they're a Commodore and Rear Admiral in the ghost pirate army, respectively, and they also wind up as Fefetasprite. So I think it's not entirely out of left field to say that these two were implied to have SOMETHING going on.

And that something... is a difference in political views.

I mean, let's be real, there's a reason Fefetasprite is the most explode-prone after Tavrisprite. Miss "The Hemocaste is Stupid and Shouldn't Matter" vs. Miss "I Love Being A Princess And Call Jade Hornless and Finless (Derogatory)"? Come on, tell me you don't see it.

Without getting too much into Feferi, this hypocrisy, and unwillingness to check her privilege (so glad I found an excuse to use that term unironically), are probably her greatest character flaws - ie, the things you would expect the story to address about her. Meanwhile, one of Nepeta's flaws, which she laments to Jasproseprite^2, is that she feels too shy to talk about her feelings to other people, leading to her having never expressed her views on the hemocaste to anyone but Equius.

I think that they initially think they'd be friends. Each one of them would go "oh man, this other girl is soooo cute, I wish I could talk to her more often!"

And then, once they do, they realize they fucking hate each other. Nepeta would go "X00 < you are such a hypocrite who f33ls like youre better than all of us!!!" and Feferi would go "You're suc)( an uneducated glubbing P-EASANT! 3X0" and then they'd claw each others' eyes out. It would be so funny, and if a homestuck ship isn't extremely fucking funny, then why are we even here.

But more importantly, this would further them along into resolving each others' arcs - Feferi would be forced to grapple with the greater implications of classism, and Nepeta - who is shown having a spine the most in defiance of somebody else - would grow more aggressive about being open about her feelings in defiance of Feferi. Even Equius would get roped into it in a positive way - you can just imagine him going "D --> Can I really believe my auricular sponge clots D --> Nepeta, you are finally taking interest in politi%" and be 100% on board with teaching her so Feferi won't be able to call her uneducated.

And then for flushed, I dunno! Karkat's an option, and Jade and Jake also both love the fuck out of furries, and Tavros seems nice. But yeah I'll die on the fefnep hate ship. Guys it would be so funny.

Thank you as always for reading! Let me know if there's a troll you want to hear me ramble about next.

#homestuck #nepeta leijon #feferi peixes #equius zahhak

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christiannerd · 2 months ago

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IBS is a disability

TW for discussion/vent about how a disability affects me, and mention of having to hide pain

Disclaimer: I am new to Tumblr, and have yet to watch an etiquette video. If I have accidentally said or done anything I wasn't supposed to, it was entirely unintentional, and I deeply apologize. I will correct it as soon as I am made aware.

Warning: long post ahead (under the cut)

IBS should be considered a disability. I know a bunch of people in the disabled community online already consider it one, but legally it's not considered one.

Sure, im still able to have a job and do my school work, but that doesn't mean it doesn't make those things harder than it would be for someone who's digestive system isn't a mine field.

What happens when I have a flare-up at work? Which, by the way, has happened before. I can't just take a 2 hour bathroom break in the middle of my 8 hour shift! So I just stand there. in pain. ignoring the pain. keeping that customer-service smile on my face so the customers don't notice I'm in pain.

One time (before I had my meds, so the pain was a lot worse back then too) I was working a shift and my boss stationed me in the elevator. Literally the most useless job I could have been given, I was just there to press the buttons for customers. (I had a more important role at one specific spot in the shift, but that lasted like 5 minutes). I had a flareup towards the beginning of that shift. I could tell this was going to be a multi-hour bathroom visit, so I couldn't do anything about it until I got off work. I was in so much pain that I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. But of course, I couldn't do that. I had to stand there, and smile, and keep working. So not only was I having to smile through the judgemental stares and comments bc I was being paid to press elevator buttons, but I had to ignore being in agonizing physical pain as well.

Its not that my IBS stops me from having a job, but it probably effects my performance at my job. Who can focus in that much pain? Sure that day focus wasn't really an issue bc I was just pressing elevator buttons, but in any other position it would have been a major problem. And if I dealt with the problem to make the pain go away, I'd lose several hours of work, on a consistent basis, and probably be fired for it.

And as far as school, hygine, and social life goes, I lose several hours out of my day, every day, to being stuck in the bathroom trying desperately to make the pain go away. You think that doesn't effect my ability to find time for homework? You think that doesn't effect my ability to make it to class? You think that doesn't effect my ability to take care of my body in other ways?

I very often have to choose between going to class or taking a shower, because the time I was suppose to be in the shower, I was on the toilet. I often have to choose between getting my homework done, and spending time with friends, because the time I was supposed to be doing homework, I was stuck in the bathroom. I know homework vs social life is a common time balancing problem for students, but for most people it's "less time with friends to get the homework done", but for me it's very often "no time with friends to get the homework done". It's so isolating. If I didn't see these people at church, and at club meetings, I'd probably never get to see them. (and yes, I have missed or been late to those bc of my IBS as well)

My IBS has kept me up until the middle of the night before. It's made me miss class. It's made me late to things. It's made me miss exams! (Thank goodness my professors were understanding enough to let me take it another time).

The only ways I can manage my IBS is by taking meds, and/or severely restricting my diet. My pills help me be able to avoid some of the pain from eating food, but like any disability aid, it doesn't help 100%. Without my meds, most vegetables are completely out of the question. So is a long list of fruits, and so many other things. Even tea hurts me! Coffee too! Meds help, but I'm still in pain. Less pain, but still pain. And im still spending hours in the bathroom. 1-2 hours at a time, instead of 3-4, but it's still countable in terms of hours.

This is a lifelong condition that I was born with. If any other part of my body was effecting me this way, no one would doubt that I'm disabled. Heck, this effects me more than some of the recognized disabilities that I have! How is this not a disability?

#disability #physical disability #IBS #irritable bowel syndrome #actually disabled #disabled college student #invisible disability #chronic pain #chronic illness #long post #vent

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timetravell · 3 months ago

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Twas the first day of school, here is a little recap:

We mainly went over all the new procedures. Theres one about phones and if they have to take it up 4 times in a row you have to pay a fine of 15 dollars. And the dress code regressed?? No teacher is enforcing it though. We still have the same tardy policy (10 tardies = ISS).

If this phone policy doesn't 'work' then we just- wont be allowed to bring our phones at all Which is a HUGE safety concern.

below is a recap of all my class periods <3

1st period: Colorguard

Nothing much happened here, again a lot of today was just a repeat of all procedures. There were a few band specific things, such as attendance, rehearsals, UDB, and stuff pertaining to the band hall itself. There is now a form so if need be, your istrument can be turned into the shop to get fixed!

We also cleaned out the guard locker room/area. All of the costumes from last year got put in one of the lower lockers. We somehow found stuff from seniors who left YEARS ago. And 3 year old water....in a jug still.. yikes.

2nd: Forensics!!!

Im actually so happy I got to be in this class. Im looking forward to a lot of things in it. Especially the labs and that one lecture about blood splatters. Our teacher is actually absent this first week, but thats because he's also the volleyball coach. (Our volleyball team is in Hawaii for nationals I believe)

We had three assignments. One of them was designing a locker (mine is super cute, it has a Marina poster), the second was a Syllabus scavenger hunt which isn't due until tomorrow but I wanted to get a jump on it so I finished it at home. The third was homework, which was just a student survey.

3rd: ELA

It was just, again, more policy updates and a little get to know you card. This class, thank god, wont be all on computer. We'll have some paper assignments. We haven't gotten our reading yet (which upsets me a teeny bit, but I'm sure we'll learn about it later in the week)

4th: AP World History

I'm actually so exited for this class its not even funny. I was genuinley upset when we didnt get our unit 0 packets and when I found out we werent getting our textbooks until Friday.

We did learn that the AP teachers are no longer allowed to split that 70% weighted major assignments to 40/30. Which absolutely sucks, and on top of that our first unit is stuff our state says we NEED to know to get said World History credit. Which means we wont even be tested on it come spring. Our district hates us.

I actually have a good teacher for this AP class, last year I had a very (idk how else to put it) 'White privlidged' teacher. AND AND I narrowly missed being stuck in a class with someone I despise. Made me so happy!

I also learned that 'The History of the Entire World I guess' is pretty accurate! So I can use that as a study resource for like- a short summary.

5th: Astronomy

SO SO SO excited for this class. And there is no math! None! (If they added math it would have to become an AP class). My teacher is so funny unironicly. He's very monotone and you would think he'd be a bore, but he's actually really funny in my opinion.

We actually will talk about why Astrology isnt real which I think will be really fun. I dont nessicarily believe astrology is real, I like the idea of it. But going indepts on why it isnt is going to be really interesting!

We also will get to learn how galaxies and solar systems form, which will be really helpfull for making my story, Abyss. Theres also gonna be night labs!! (if we go we get a free 100 on a test grade) And maybe some Day Labs if the school can get their hands on a solar telescope.

6th: Geometry

It's geometry. There wasnt really anything of note here. Just the fact that i somehow have a class full of kids who dont care abt the Highschool grades. (I have confirmed this, it isnt speculation) It's gonna be a loud period..

7th: Band (they split it up weird)

Again nothing of note. EXCEPT NOW I HAVE TO LEARN THE SHOW?? ON MY FLUTE?? WHAT??

Im in guard, i dont do 'band' until concert season. I cant work on my solo during this period OR my homework. Pissed me of factually because the original plan was as followed:

Used as a study hall

Practice choreography

Practice flute

But nope! They hate me! /j

8th: Musical Theatre!

So many new people! Its gonna be so much fun! I have a lot of friends in that class so im really excited!

I already know the song im gonna do for our first solo, just gotta get permission cuz its technicly not from a musical (Wont say im in love from hercules)

Anyways thats it!! Tmmr will most likely have some more stuff so follow if you want to see!

#study blog #studyblr #digital diary #chaotic academia #girlblogging #tumblr girls #studyspo #study motivation #study inspiration #study space #back to school #high school #school

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ruiineedsfood · 1 year ago

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Ruii's twts OC dump (will be updated)

So in order from top left

Yona Stone

Note : ignore how badly drawn the wheelchair is because i haven't made an updated rendered version hshsh

She's inspired by medusa in greek mythology, I know she appeared like 5 seconds in the disney movie, but like how can i not put such an iconic character??? also, medusa is quite villainy in the mythos, so i feel like it fits the twst theme yknow.

Nickname : Yona , Yonyon

Grade/class : 2-B

Club : Honestly, idk maybe board game or magift

Birthday : she's giving leo vibes idk what exactly but leo 100%

Homeland : Shaftlands in the big city area

Favorite subjects : Alchemy and Defense magic

Hobby : darts, swimming(used to be)

Talent : Good eye in fashion

Favorite food : seafood

Least favorite : beef

Bellaire Witcher

So her inspiration is basically a mix of the cheshire cat and mad hatter. she's a tortured artist, so not exactly based on a disney character i just find it fun to make a very wild and artistic character. now i don't know if i should keep her clover design maybe I'll change it because i gave her a clover bcs i thought it looked cute lmao.

Ruth Burn

I just wanted a fox oc lmao. I thought omg twst doesn't have foxes, and then fellow popped up, and I'm like, welp. So personality wise, Ruth is a very responsible person, but she has a cheeky side that is kinda like ruggie in a way. Her motivations are more social rather than self-preservation like ruggie. i didn't really base her on any character from disney i just knew i didn't want her to be text book cheeky fox character, wanted her to be more of like a normal teen with bits of fox like slyness in her.

Mielin Schoerin and Mimi Schoerin

They're kinda inspired by the twin cats in lady and the tramp. The first two that i designed, actually.

Mielin (dark hair) is the oldest between the two, and she's the most developed character in the cast because i just fell in love with her LMAO. Mielin's name came from a part of a cell in the nerve system cmiiw, so its main job is to protect, and i was like, hell yeah, that name sounds cool. So she's the more mellow twin takes things more seriously than her sister. She's usually seen to be very uptight and awkward by the other students but that's mostly because she's just quite dense with her surroundings. funfact but i like to imagine she's the girl crush of campus bcs i want to give her so much love shhshsb

Mimi (blondie) is the younger one, and i like to think she's the more energetic of the two, but she is more analytical than mielin. Mimi has this aura of being more laid back of the two, but she has the sense of being all knowing of things. kinda like floyd but not as wacky as floyd.

Naima / Zahra (can't decide but im leaning towards Naima)

Honestly, she's my fav design, but i have no clue on her background yet. I'm leaning towards her being a passionate dancer whose roots are from traditional dances from her culture, or i could go the other route of her being an ex athlete or ex idol. since the story i want to tell through her is to be her own self and come to terms with her choices because, like, what if our choices are just not right for us? Im trying to make her into a character that isn't similar to the existing cast in twst, idk im finding myself making her into a jamil 2.0 and im putting more thought into her to not be like that. the disney movie doesn't really have a character that i want to adopt to be her so im still thinking about it.

Melissa (Mel)

so diasomnia's book is still ongoing, i dont have any fixed plans for her involvement with the existing cast yet. but my plan is to make her a race of beings opposite to faes in a sense, since her magic doesn't come from her but the magic of others around her. so, like sucking the life out of them and repurposing it to be her own type of thing. Malleus finds her abandoned in the forest as a young kid with all the magic in the surrounding area gone. She gets adopted, but lilia refuses because she can be dangerous with her inate powers that can weaken malleus and endanger silver since in my head, they found her after lilia took in silver. so they came to an agreement to take care of mel with the condition she stays away from silver and malleus before learning to control her powers. Now, what makes mel okay with this treatment in her head is because she remembers everything from her birth and how her mother abandoned her and stuff so she feels like its normal and devotes herself to Malleus as a guard as a sense of gratitude for letting a monster like her in. Her arc is realizing that she's not a monster that she was made to believe. Instead, she was a neglected kid who wasn't taught properly. Honestly, i just feel really sad about her, and initially, i want her to explore lilia's character since he's one of my favorites but after concocting this i just want to give mel a hug.

Also, her OB-ing would be cool

#twst oc #twst oc lore #twisted wonderland #ruii babies

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loreofthegayuma · 1 year ago

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Content: realizations on being a system this entire time

Ok wow. So the entire time the "i was nonverbal before but was traumatized" was the old host? ok yeah, that makes sense actually bcs ive never said it like i was changed. I always just say that the nasty ppl killed that person. I always say it like that... yet i still didnt get it

and i always say it like "yeah. the surroundings really needed me to be the perfect student (16yo) which also means a "social upgrade" thats why i erased the old me and transformed into that" you know.,, you know what?!??!

which is really sad actually. bcs idek if theyre still here at all. Idk how to feel abt that bcs it felt like it was one of our choices that lead to that.

this is like the wrong time to be dealing w a headache but im going to keep going...

I do think im semiverbal rn tho. But about the last time i was in college i was verbal. I'm sure because I never had any difficulty in expressing myself and being chatty with classmates and i was my most active in class during this time.

Another ig question yesterday that made me rethink everything is... "do you feel any attachment to your age?" Because. I was really consistently inconsistent with my answers throughout the years with this. Last year my sibling said that i said on multiple occassions that im a 30 something year old namekian (dragon ball) jokingly. But i said it a lot and i was happy saying that again and again. But when i was teased again two months ago with "hey 30yo namekian" i had a poor reaction to it. Like "ah hey, im not like that actually haha. Idk why i said that." But i was not cringing about it or anything. Just that: "oh yeah, that's weird. Why did i say that. Heh, my whimsy"

right now i can say that i feel like im beyond age. Like ofc i still change my age in my bio whenever my bday arrives. But it's not like i have any attachment to that age or to that bday. It was just something i needed to do to make sure i place a boundary on subjects that i can and cant talk abt w another person. It was a social responsibility.

But do i think i'm 26 right now? Do i feel like im currently 26??? I dont. I feel like im at a stale age thats beyond 100+. And wherever that number lies, im forever that age. That is so weird to me but it's the only way i understand it. Unlike when I was in college where I confidently even say "hah. actually i'm 25" when im not, i was so much younger than that that time. but i told that to all of my friends as a joke and they just always say "haha yeah, okay sure" bcs it was a harmless one

THE BIGGEST ONE IG IS HOW, APPARENTLY, BEING NONHUMAN IS AN ACTUAL THING, YEAH, THANK THE GODS. GUESS WHO WAS CONSISTENTLY INCONSISTENT ABOUT THEIR ATTACHMENT TO "HUMANNESS" AND OTHER BEINGS THROUGHOUT THE YEARS?! GUESS WHO?!???

Not even 10000 years of rest can help me think this out i think

#should dormancy be cw or tw bcs i heard some part of the community to do that but im not sure. cw just in case #will edit the tags too if necessary #lores of fritz

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sabrsiren · 3 months ago

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can we talk about how receiving disability accommodations at an american academic institution is so convoluted that it would likely be “easier” for me to just suffer through the semester and see how that goes (badly)

like the disability i’m asking about accommodations for is the same one causing me to struggle to even earn a meeting with the disabilities office

i just feel like crying. i’m starting at a 1.8 GPA which was a grade i was condemned to dropping out of college the first time (because of my disability) 5 years ago. i never got to use a cent of the full ride scholarship i busted my ass to receive in high school because i’ve passed the deadline to utilize those funds. all my classes are online which is a double edged sword in my experience with AuDHD. i’m traumatized by my experiences in academia because i have never been accommodated and during the pandemic i’ve suffered horrible skill regression to the point where even existing feels hard sometimes.

i haven’t been in any classes in years, im starting 4 of them in 2 days and part of me is terrified, concerned about how i’ll fare. i miss my old college but i wasn’t ready at the time — i was pushed too hard all through public school… NHS, 4.8 GPA, 11 AP classes, gifted, 100+ volunteer hours, extra classes online on the side, going for tutoring on saturdays for hours… because i was expected to hit the same milestones along the same timeline as everybody else. but i’m not like everybody else, yet no one listened to me or believed me for years, and now here we are. and now i’m at a community college where i feel like just a number. it’s harder to bond and work with fellow students when you’re online. i felt ashamed and embarrassed watching my old friends from my last college younger than me graduate with their bachelors degrees when i should’ve been there with them

“giving up” isn’t an option this time. if i’m not a full-time student, i lose my health insurance. i need health insurance because i have multiple, compounding health issues that exacerbate each other. my neurodivergence worsens my physical disabilities and vice versa. honestly i don’t even want a degree especially from a western institution, this means nothing to me, but it apparently means everything to everyone else. i’m expected to have a bachelors degree for even a entry level job.

this system is rotten to its core. guess i’ll accommodate myself by sucking it up

#VENTING #college

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andypasta · 7 months ago

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rant/vent post (need to get it outta my system before I do something im gonna regret)

Does anyone even actually like me for who I am? Or do they only like the good parts. People get upset and sad over pieces of me that I can’t currently do anything about. I’m sorry I scratch myself until I bleed with my nails and my chipped shark tooth necklace, I’m sorry I can’t stop doing stupid shit, I’m sorry I’m self-depreciating, I’m sorry I’m non-chalant, I’m sorry I’m un-empathetic most times and have no idea how to deal with emotion. I’m sorry I have to exist like this. If it’s an inconvenience to you imagine how it is to be me. To have to sit throught talking with so many people, naturally ambiverted and friendly, and yet knowing that once people get to know me, they’ll leave at some point. They’ll all leave, or they’ll end up with other friends. And I’ll forget to contact first. And we’ll forget about eachother, but I’ll never really forget you, but I’ll feel too awkward to reach out again. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect friend, child, partner. I try, I really do. I just can’t, and I feel more and more tired of trying every day. My grades are falling because I can’t stop putting more and more stress on myself. And I’m sorry I can’t shut up during movies and shows when I wanna tell you cool things, and I’m sorry I can’t stop talking to you about my favorite things. I’m sorry I’m so goddamn annoying, and I’m sorry that I have to exist in your presence. You’re not the first to not want me around. But if I told you the first it’d be so nonchalant, and you’d be worried about me, but for your own reasons. You don’t want to feel guilty if I do anything to myself. It’s not your fucking fault. It wasn’t until you did that. Until you told me not to hurt myself because you would feel bad and I would go to hell. Until you told me that you hated me but only talked to me because I was the only one you knew in that class. Until you told me that you wish you never had me, whether a joke or not. Until you told me I couldn’t be in your group because I was annoying. Until you told me to shut up mid conversation. Until you told me one of my favorite foods looked like vomit and it was disgusting. Thanks for that, by the way. I changed my favorite food because of that. Oh, and let’s not forget the time you promised me you would make me said favorite food on my birdbath, planned out for months, and then decided you didn’t feel like cooking and took me out to a restaurant instead. Sure they had the thing on the menu, but it’s not the same. It’s not the same. It’s not, and it never will be. But you don’t care. My feelings don’t matter because you can play it off as me being an angsty teen and having an attitude. And not that you’re fucking up bad. But I can’t tell you. How would I. You apparently never do any wrong, I’m always the fuck up here. And I have 3 years of this left. Idk if I’m gonna make it. I want to, but the chances look slimmer every time I think about it. Still, I have to keep a straight face and a happy smile. For everyone. Because I don’t want them to feel guilty. And then I see people treating eachother nicely, and I wish we have that. I wish you would tuck me in and genuinely tell me you love me, I wish you would tell me I was doing good as a friend like your sister does in theater. I wish I didn’t have to pretend to be absolutely 100% fine with people jokingly insulting me. It’s fine sometimes, but the constant kys is getting annoying. And then I express that maybe I might, and you suddenly change it up and be like “oh no don’t do that” because your previous friend did, and you want me around because “who else would I draw with”. That’s it. Nothing else. No “because you’re special to me and we’re formed sand I’ll miss you” no. Just “who else would I draw things I make you draw with?” And I get it, it’s my choice and all, but I don’t want him to not like me. Because I’m friends with his twin sister, and I don’t want to ruin the relationship with her or the friendliness with their parents. And I’m so scared, of fucking everything. I don’t even know what I wanna do anymore. Or if I’ll make it there.

#Oh and yes the “you” bits were mostly diff people #Long post #vent :3

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lonesuperhero · 8 months ago

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hi, im tired but i want to ramble so be ready for a ramble rant

so, in my EDSGN 100 (engineering design) class, we were tasked with coming up with a design idea.

[mine was essentially a way to turn regular smart phones into satellite phones with a bit of external hardware, without having to get a whole other phone. it comes with a solar charger too, but i digress, it's not that impressive or interesting]

one dude's idea was essentially a Dyson sphere, which if you haven't googled it yet, is a large theoretical contraption surrounding the sun (or any star tbh) capturing solar power

now, take into account we (or at least a majority of us) are freshmen; like our majors in the system still say "pre-engineering" but oh my god-

i don't want to be mean and say it's a "stupid" idea per se--but there is no way that is going to work, taking it from someone whose parents work in the very fields that Dyson sphere would have to be advertised to (aka electric companies and said electric company's financial teams)

because ultimately that is going to be what it comes down to; not because its a "better way" and corporations in the US will strive to do the "right thing" but because that shit is going to be too expensive in their eyes

your plan is to send a rocket to an area near the sun to collect battery cells; rockets are really expensive, plus there would have to be a worldwide cooperation in order to make this work and we know that not happening anytime soon

but back to the electric company shit- not all home solar panels are as inefficient as you believe either, dude

i remember talking to my dad about this actually, like almost exactly a year ago, that within the area he works, which deals with transmission and distribution, they actually end up having issues with backflow from solar panels, since the households are still connected to the grid. they then back in the substations have to adjust everything to now account for this extra current which has to readjust everything else, and according to my dad its a 'annoying' and i imagine a pain in the ass

so yeah, thats my ramble rant

like Dyson spheres sound really interesting and shit, but i highly doubt (at least in this lifetime) that it will not come to be anything beyond hypothetical. but hey, dude studying to major in aerospace engineering so maybe he'll make that a personal project

(also, before anyone asks (if anyone actually reads this lmao), no, i do not know if you get paid or cash back on your electric bill for your solar panels flowing back into the grid. it prolly depends on your area too. worst comes to worst, invest in extra battery cells and try to disconnect from the grid unless youre chill with giving away electricity...which honestly isnt that bad if youre creating surplus-)

#lone rambles #ramble rant

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aquietsystem · 1 year ago

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I finally called the psych place again, and actually got my question answered! They have a long waiting list so i wanted to make sure the could diagnose and assess for dissociative disorders before inlike, made an appointment, and they do! Once i fill out the paper work ill be put on either the cancellation list or the waiting list!

The lady who answered the phone was so sweet, she kept apologizing for the last times i tried to get ahold of them, and at then end when i told her its totally fine her service today more than makes up for it (even though before wasnt he fault) she was SO relieved

My therapist asked more about our functioning levels the other day, just trying to figure out where we are at. I told her for the most part, we are doing pretty good? Like im mostly chill letting system things happen as my brain decides, but i would definitely like the memory loss and dissociation to ho down. I dont really care how often we switch, because ik my brains protecting/helping me, id just like to not have such large memory gaps and stuff.

I think for now, at least until im fiagnosed, its not really going to be something we directly work on in therapy. Obviously we will work on the individual symptoms, but i think alters and switching will wait until ive truly been assessed. Then maybe we could start working on proper integration, communication, and individual alters needs.

She also told me that the memory i told her about pretty solidly confirms our suspicions. Not 100%, but it certainly supports it. Thats both good and bad. Good because yay my brain likely inst lying to me, and bad because it means its more likely to have happened to me, which isnt a fun thought.

TW: MENTIONS OF PEDOPHILIA, CSA, POSSIBLE CSA (pls lmk if i missed any) vent about recent news, please skip if needed

We learned that my uncle apparently tried to sleep with one of his freshly 18yo students. She got him on video agreeing to come to her house to sleep with her while she was intoxicated. She did it for blackmail hut quite honestly the thing i care far more about is his agreeing. She claims he had been making lewd and sexual comments to most of the girls in his class. We believe her because how else would she have know the blackmail would work? My mom, sister, and i have felt uncomfortable around him forever.

It makes us wonder what his limit is. How young is he willing to go.

What sucks even more is that they know that just a month ago we were asking about something because we suspect i was abused as a young child. Yet my aunt didnt think to mention this? My grandparents didnt? We had to find out through tiktok.

My cousin tried to meet a 14yo. We have the same question about him, how young is he willing to go? How young was he when he was having these horrible desires? My aunt and uncle said he had no clothes on his floor as a kid, only toys. My sister (who he did very creepy things too) says he did, she was in his room a lot. Were they covering for him? Did he have clothes on the floor? Were they covering for them both?

Im tired. I want to know. I want it to all be over with.

#brain soup #trauma #vent #did system #dissociative identity disorder #osddid #therapy things #csa mention

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incorrect-mha-bnha · 4 years ago

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BNHA HEADCANNONS again

Eri holds anual tea parties with everyone but banned Bakugou for “a thousand eternities” because he kept getting into bickering matches with her stuffed animals on who was the better princess.

Kaminari can, in fact, cook and bake. You can’t tell me I’m wrong because I also hc him as a huge stoner. The same with Sero. Those boys be cooking and whippin in the kitchen. Case closed.

Much like Star Lord, I believe Dabi would be one to wear headphones and carry around a cassette tape while he destroys things. People screaming and havoc being caused but it’s all muffled by his tunes. He even dances around as he works.

Mitsuki is the kind of woman to bark at men that catcall her. You can’t say I’m wrong, because I’m not. She would have no shame barking at some sleazebag that passes a rather suggestive demeaning comment her way thinking he’d get away scotch free and have a laugh over it with his sexist buddies— WELL HED BE WRONG because as soon as she hears some punk yell “Nice (insert sexist joke)!” She’d stop, turn his way slowly and start barking as shown.... “BARK BARK RUFF AWOOOO GRRRR BARK BARK BARK!” And the man would literally die on the spot. Gone. A queen. A badass. What a woman.

During that scene in the sports festival where they brought out Bakugou in chains and a muzzle like some villain rather than a teenage child. You know the one— yeah you do. Anyway. He was having an PTSD attack about the slime villain. Tell me I’m wrong. His mouth was covered and he was restrained. It was NOT very long after it either. What were they thinking? Trick question. The whole hero system is trash.

(CW: Vore) I personally think the most twisted hero turned villain scenario would be Tamaki. He eats things to gain power in his quirk.... I think you know where this is going. Imagine finding out a villain literally eating heroes and random civilians to gain their quirks? Wack

Back on my partially blind Todoroki hc. Due to his impaired vision, he tends to stand with his right side towards the opponent as to keep them in his sights and guard blind spots.

When Bakugou gets lonely, he will set off tiny explosions like fireworks that remind him of younger days when him and his friends would attend festivals and run around with sparklers.

I do like the Latin Sero hc so along those lines... you cannot tell me he wouldn’t chase anyone around the dorms with a chancla over something. It’s about as scary as an Aizawa woken up mid nap. He could chuck it a 100 yards and away and still hit you square in the head. Sero is so scary with a chancla, even Bakugou won’t attempt to fuck with him. *Starts yelling* *Sero comes out of nowhere with a sandal in his hand* “Are you yelling at Midoriya again?” *Bakugou looks up then slowly turns away and stalks off grumbling*

Izy is blasian (I don’t know if that’s the correct terminology for the mix) and will from this point on be known as Dekquan on this blog and to me. My mind is Astral in this bitch today. So many hc and thoughts. Hair care products, routines, ethnicity to learn from, SO MUCH. I also hc Mina as black, gods and her know how much of a struggle that boy will go through to take care of his hair.

Listen... I love the Bakusquad.... but they really aren’t exactly feral. Dekquansquad is immensely chaotic in terms of actions. They almost got charged with multiple offenses and Todoroki tried to square up with the head police chief. Not to mention Iida quite literally went to mu1der Stain with the help of Dekquan and Todd. After that they practically said “And what about it!?” THEN half the Dekquansquad went out to rescues Bak, and didn’t give a single fuck about the consequences. Bottom line? Dekquan knows every heroes weakness and has yet to snap completely, Iida has attempted murder under his belt, Todd has the pure teenage rebellious spite mixed with “Neutral chaotic come at me Bro!” Energy fueling him, Ochac is there for the money. Whats bakusquad got? Some Latin scotch tape, a badass breakdancer, pika pika let me charge your phone mister suave, “oh that doesn’t sound very heroic” sunshine and daisies man, and ‘I go to bed for 8’ rabies n company. Don’t even try.

Bak’s parents are fashion designers. Why does this detail matter? Take a look at his hero costume. The color pallet doesn’t clash, the asccesories make sense. (In a sense). It’s the most well put together hero costume out of Class 1A. He had to have picked up tricks and rules to follow from his parents work, you cannot tell me otherwise.

Mina would sing WAP at Uraraka’s wedding..... change my mind.

(Not a ship hc) Will I ever shut up about Kirishima, Bak and Mina being my emotional support Wonder Trio (Im going to need to think of a different damn name) even if I don’t post about it? No. Mina forms a close bond with them as the years progress. Spending more time, opening up with them, nurturing with affection. It goes both ways as well. The boys care about her immensely, becoming protective and promising to be there when she needs it. Inside jokes, training and teasing- they have it all. Their dynamic is *chefs kiss* and I promise to post about it in the future.

Denk has to have brain damage, I’m pretty damn sure. If you’re using electricity to the point of being incapacitated and numerous amount of times then there has to be some adverse effects at play.

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amazingphilza · 4 years ago

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study buddies :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some headcanons if the mcyts were trying to help you do hw :D

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

tommyinnit

i feel like he’s the type to be in a long discord call with you whilst you both try to finish your work

mans uses the screensharing feature like there’s no tomorrow

“y/n watch my stream on discord and help me guess the answers”

“tommy no! i haven’t even taken a film class before”

“your guess is good as mine”

“just cheat and google the answers!!!”

“fuck you”

he actually just wants your attention because he’s bored out of his mind doing homework

five minutes later of asking you to help him guess questions he’s like

“hey y/n”

“what now?”

“let’s play bedwars”

“oh my god shut up!!!”

if tommy has to speedrun something before a deadline, it is a whole different story tho; he will be so focused on completing that he won’t hear what you’re saying

if you’re struggling in math, you’re on your own

“math is shit, only numbers i need is my primes and youtube analytics” says tommy any time you complain about math

besides the fact he isn’t good at solving math problems, you can’t even read his handwriting if he did try showing you how to do a problem

“okay, y/n, it’s simple, just look” he says in his kareninnit voice and everything

you’d be like “is the variable a G or a 9??”

“fuck you that’s a 4!!!”

tubbo

i don’t know if tubbo ever talked about school before but something about him makes me think he’s actually pretty good at math

like he can explain a few things when it comes to math / algebra

CODING GO BRRRR

no geometry or calculus though, anything past algebra will go bad

if tubbo is doing homework with you, he will definitely tune you out

“hey tubbo can you help me on this question?”

you don’t get a response until like 20 minutes later

“oh yeah, what was it y/n?”

like now you answer? i just got the answer myself after so long, forget you smh

“oh nothing tubbo, nevermind!”

but you’re still grumbling in your head because if he answered just a bit earlier you wouldn’t have gone through the work of finding the answer online

i can also imagine if you’re taking chemistry tubbo is like ;

“oh you’re taking chemistry? let’s make some bombs!” /lh

tubbo would definitely pull an all-nighter with you to finish your projects together

if you had a group project, he would make you do the writing part while he does the drawing part

“we definitely aced this project”

“of course we did, if i made you draw we would’ve ended up with stick figure diagrams”

“TUBBO. THE FUCK?”

ranboo

okay i know ranboo said he isn’t a theatre or band kid (unless im wrong and forgetful) but i feel like he’d be somewhat educated in the topics nonetheless

half the time he’s great moral support, helping you stay motivated !

the other half is him making fun of you

“i cant believe you’re failing, that is so sad, can’t be me”

“it’s literally an honors class, ranboo! it’s supposed to be hard!!”

“taking an honors class willingly? also cant be me AHAHA”

i honestly can’t see ranboo going to school like i know he’s a minor and said he had zoom calls before and plays volleyball but like did i miss something? has he dropped out yet? like something about ranboo does not scream “student” /lh

besides that, i’m not sure what subject he would actually be good in,,, but something about nutrition/health sciences,, he knows a few things

don’t get me wrong, i don’t think he actually likes the subject but somehow remembers what he learned from the class

also gives me the type of energy of the type of person to take a first aid class to be a certified person to do cpr on someone just to kill time during his lunch breaks for a while or something

“i am a certified cpr person”

“my life in ranboo’s hands? oh god please no”

you two would probably joke about the ‘bad’ people in your classes or talk shit about your schools than actually doing anything homework related ngl AHAHAH

“you think your school is down bad? mine went back to campus full time after like 6 months into quarantine because they were running out of money”

“what the hell y/n? your school is a scam, drop out”

“arghhhh i knowww”

“i bet i make more money than your teachers combined AHAHAH”

wilbur soot

he doesn’t seem like the best person to ask for help for homework but can info dump you on very specific historical events + a bit of geography

i kinda see him as the person you can ask to proof read an essay for you and would help it improve immensely

who needs a thesaurus when you have vocabulary boy wilbur?

i dunno if it’s an american thing only or at all, but if/when you get to studying hamilton in your english class, he will get so fucking excited

“no wilbur it isn’t fun! imagine listening to lin-manuel miranda rap ‘alexander hamilton’ at the white house from like 2009 on repeat for over an hour whilst trying to write an analysis about it!! it was so distracting”

“well clearly someone has a personal problem with mr lin-manuel. if i were you, i’d be singing the whole thing”

is this last bit personal and complete spite from my freshman year english class? yes. i do not care? no. /hj

unrelated but i actually scribbled nice guy ballad lyrics and other songs on my english scratch papers in freshman year but anyway

probably isn’t the best person to be in a call to do homework with but wilbur doesn’t mind you ringing him occasionally sometimes

i dunno i can just see him easily get bored of the silence or something but also doesn’t want to bother you too much

but he is genuinely proud of you whenever you tell him you aced a big test you were studying for :D

philza

this man’s bad advice is as bad as him trying to help you on any subject

he’s an old man so /hj

but like honestly, he hasn’t been at school for so long, phil can probably only help with the most basic things when it comes to school

if you have a wack teacher that makes you collect data through surveying people, phil would be one of the best people to ask! straightforward and won’t take too much of your time compared to other people ahem,,

statistics things ! sobs

if you ever complain a lot about your classes and contemplating dropping out and stuff, he will def scold you hard

“ugh phillllllllll can i just like,, never go to school again?”

“do not drop out”

“argh fine, i won’t just ‘cause philza minecraft said so”

honestly if you get a high score in a big test like your sats/gcse’s (whatever you’re taking from wherever you are) he’d probably order you a small meal or something to celebrate :D

like how phil bought ranboo bought him food to his house, it would start as a joke but when you get your test scores back he’s like “YOOO GOOD JOB Y/N”

expect a left meat pizza coming to your house .

technoblade

like wilbur, techno is also helpful when it comes to history!

def knows a decent bit of literature too

besides that i don’t really see him being that helpful

even if he was supposed to be an english major

he will just get mad at the school system for teaching you useless things

“being in school is good but why do you need to know how to know if something is a triangle or not? i can obviously see with my eyes that it’s a triangle”

“i dunno! ask the person that made up geometry”

“just look at a kaleidoscope and be over with it, it isn’t that hard”

“that isn’t how it works—”

“bruhhh”

if you’re looking for the person to call while doing homework, he is not the person /lh

it’s either like 0 or 100 with techno

he can just completely not say anything and ignore you or go on a full rant about whatever class or homework you have

if you have an essay you need written, it will take a lot of bribing but he might take the opportunity if you are rich

“techno i’ll paypal you $10 please help me”

“no. i can make 10 times that amount in 5 minutes if i just started streaming right now”

“techno i don’t have that kind of money! pleaseee”

“no. instead of complaining, you can use that time to actually start you work”

“you’re the worst”

then you speedrun the essay and get an A just to spite him

#dream smp imagines #dream smp x reader #dream smp x y/n #dream smp headcanons #sbi imagine #sbi x reader #sbi headcanons #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x you #mcyt headcanons

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seokjinsdisciple · 4 years ago

Text

Enemy - two

johnny x reader (this is mostly smut with some fluff thrown in because im soft for this man)

THIS IS BASED ON ENEMY AND WHILE YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT TO UNDERSTAND YOU PROBABLY SHOULD

it’s been three months since you got fucked by johnny in the elevator of your apartment building. and much to your own fault, you can’t stop thinking about him

UNEDITED

word count: 4k (this is literally so long for no reason)

warnings: language, fingering, degradation, choking, hair-pulling, overuse of the word kitten and sir and probably baby too, mentions of sex toys, vibrators, mutual masturbation for like a second, size kink if you squint, mentions of punishments, idk what to say... theres probably more because im a whore for johnny

You hadn’t spoken to Johnny since the incident. In fact, you’ve tried to avoid any encounters with him at all. You try to plan your day around whether he has already left or not, and while that's proven rather difficult with your classes, it's been working out ok. You had been avoiding him for a solid 3 months, only seeing him occasionally and practically sprinting away when you spotted him.

Granted, you have had a tough couple of months, sexual frustration forcing your thoughts into the depths of hell more often than not. You 100% blamed Johnny for this, unable to get his face from your mind and name from your lips as you came. And that’s when you were actually able to get yourself to finish. Johnny had ruined you, he had ruined orgasms for you forever. Your one night stands didn’t stand a chance, and not even your favorite black vibrator could get you there half of the time.

Fuck Johnny and his stupidly gorgeous face, and mind consuming body. The past few months had been going like this. You had memorized exactly when Johnny would be in class, out with friends or doing god knows what. Allowing yourself those moments to take out your sexual frustrations.

You had been sitting on your couch all day, counting down the minutes until the tell tale sound of Johnny’s front door closing. When you finally heard it, you sprang into action, sprinting to your room and throwing open the drawer of your nightstand. You groaned as you tore your pants off as quickly as you could, already dripping from the thoughts of Johnny that had been swirling around your head all day long.

You let out a too loud whimper when you finally pressed your fingers to your clit. Taking no time at all to start relieving some of the pressure that had been making you ache all day long. You were certain that if anyone on your floor was home, they would be able to hear your broken moans and whimpers. The sheer desperation outweighing your rational thoughts to quiet the hell down.

In fact, your thoughts had completely left as you pressed your vibrator against yourself, biting into the pillow nearest to you as you writhed around on your bed. You were moaning broken fragments of Johnny’s name now, so desperate to cum yet so far from reaching your high that all reason had left your brain.

You sat up quickly at the sound of the knocking. The panic of being caught by one of your neighbors causing you to almost fall as you tugged on your sweats and rushed to the door.

You pulled upon your front door without much thought, apologies preparing to spill out of your lips until you met the dark eyes of Johnny. His hair had grown in the months you’d barely seen him. Your eyes flitted from his shoulder length blonde hair down to his rosy cheeks and bitten lips.

“You’re so fucking loud,” he growled, walking into your apartment and closing the door in front of your frozen figure, “Are you always moaning my name this loud when I’m in class, kitten?”

“Johnny I can-,” you started, breath hitching in your chest as he gripped your jaw firmly.

“I think that was a yes or no question,” Johnny spoke, “Do you always touch yourself when I’m gone?”

You were trembling at his dominant gaze, the stickiness between your thighs practically doubling at both his appearance and his words. You nodded, heat filling your entire body at the sheer embarrassment of him knowing how fucked you had been ever since that day on the elevator.

“Words,” he growled, “Don’t make me punish you.”

“Yes, sir,” you whimpered, heat thrumming through your body as his thumb rubbed your jaw, raising an eyebrow at the new nickname.

“Good girl,” he praised, cupping your cheek as he pressed a frantic kiss to your lips. Taking no time at all to deepen the kiss, licking your bottom lip. You opened up for him easily, groaning as his tongue explored your mouth, hands finding purchase on his chest. His lips trailed down to your neck, biting and sucking on the most sensitive parts of your neck.

“Johnny please,” You begged, your hands finding their way into his hair. Your fingers tangling and tugging at the long blonde locks, smiling in satisfaction at his groan.

“Oh no baby,” Johnny said, grinning up at you and wiggling his eyebrows, “There’s no way in hell you call me Johnny after I hear the word sir leave that sinful little mouth of yours.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him, smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”

“Are you familiar with the color system?” He asked, placing a gentle bite on your earlobe.

“Red for hard stop, yellow for pause and green for all good?” You asked, half moaning as Johnny’s hands slipped up your shirt.

“Yeah that's the one,” Johnny muttered, “Color?”

“Green,” you whined as he pinched your nipple between his fingers, rolling gently.

“Good, because your brattiness is starting to piss me off, kitten,” he said, bringing his other hand around your neck and putting delicious pressure on your pulse. “Now I’m curious baby, just how long have you been getting off when I’m not supposed to be home? How many times have you come with my name on your lips?”

“Since-,” you started, “Since that day in the elevator.”

Johnny just tutted at you, forcing you to meet his gaze, “And you’ve been hiding what’s mine from me all this time?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s yours,” you smirked, chuckling at the light smack he gave your ass.

“If it wasn’t mine, kitten,” he snarled, “then you wouldn’t come thinking of me. And by your pretty little moans earlier, we all know that’s not the case.”

At that Johnny threw your form over his shoulder, giving another playful hit to your ass before leading you to your bedroom. He set you gently on the bed, caging your body with his arms and pressing a swift kiss to your lips. You were about to question why he’d torn his lips from you, but you were stopped by his mischievous grin and the emergence of your still vibrating black vibrator.

“Oh my god, Johnny,” you hit him in the shoulder, “turn it off!”

“Is this the Johnny you kept moaning so loudly about? He so rudely interrupted my afternoon nap you know.”

“You are insufferable!” you whined, trying to cover your embarrassed face with your hands.

“Use it.”

“What?” you asked, peeking out from behind your hands.

“I want to see you use it,” Johnny said simply, “You’ve been using this to cum all on your own. I wanna see how lil Johnny has been treating you.”

“Johnny you can’t be serious.”

“Oh I’m very serious,” he said, pulling your pants down for you, whistling lowly at the sight of your arousal smeared across your thighs, “It is a shame you misbehaved so much and need to be punished, kitten. I love the way you look with my fingers inside of you. Too bad.”

“Johnny, please,” you groaned, imagining just how incredible his fingers would feel right about now.

“I thought I told you to call me sir, hm?” He asked, slapping the inside of your thigh before handing you the vibrator, “Now get to work.”

You let out a little whine as Johnny settled himself across the bed, staring intently at you. You took a deep breath, turning on your vibrator again, sucking your bottom lip into your teeth as you pressed it to your clit. Your eyes met with Johnny’s, his pupils dilated and lust-filled as he took in your already wrecked appearance.

Your hips jolted, the power from the vibrator enough to have a familiar string of moans leaving your lips. You whined at the sight of Johnny palming himself over his sweats, reaching out with your free hand to try and touch him in some way.

“Awe poor baby needs help?” Johnny pouted at you, “But I thought you could get off by yourself?”

You just groaned at this, endless afternoons of you coming so close to the edge but never making it flashing in your mind as you tried, and failed to prove him wrong. Your eyes never left his, and you were getting sick of the mischief that was in his. He was clearly taking too much pleasure from teasing you. Well two can play at that game.

“Don’t you want to play with me, sir?” You asked, moaning as you slid a finger into yourself, never breaking eye contact with Johnny. You let out an exaggerated whine, spreading your legs further apart before pouting, “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.”

Johnny smirked at you, an all knowing look in his eye as he sat up. He pressed a featherlight kiss to your cheek, and then your neck before tugging your shirt off of your body.

“You’re lucky I’m so nice, kitten,” He grinned at you, turning the vibrator off and throwing it from the bed before grazing his teeth over your nipples, “And so impatient.”

He may have called himself impatient, but his touches were light and teasing. Barely there, and by the time you had realized where his fingers were they had moved somewhere else. It was torture.

“Please, sir,” you begged, groaning as his fingertips grazed your clit for a second.

“What’s the matter, kitten?” He asked, feigning confusion, “I thought you wanted me to play with you?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” you argued back, voice getting quieter at the dangerous look Johnny sent you.

“You aren’t being very nice for someone who is trying to get what they want,” Johnny warned, nipping down the length of your body before placing a bit on the inside of your thigh. He let out a pleased sigh as his eyes met with your dripping sex, placing gentle kisses all around it, but never in the place you wanted it. “And you never answered my question, kitten. How many times have you cum with my name on your lips, hm?”

“I--,” you started, sucking in a breath as he pressed a gentle kiss to your core, “I haven’t been able to since that day. I’ve only cum a handful of times.”

Johnny pulled away from your core, a surprised look crossing his face before he gave you a gentle smile. “Fuck. No wonder why you’re so worked up kitten, god. It’s been almost 3 months and you haven’t cum properly?”

You nodded at him, hands intertwining with his as he worked his mouth back up your body.

“My poor baby, so needy. A pretty little slut like you can’t go that long without cumming,” Johnny said pressing his lips anywhere they could reach, “Let me take care of that for you. Come sit on my face, let me show you how much I missed you."

You ignored his laugh as you desperately shot up, practically throwing him down on the bed. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t spent more hours than not thinking about the way his tongue had felt pressed against your heat.

You could’ve cried when you finally straddled his head. His large hands pulling you down to settle on his mouth. Surprisingly he got to work right away, licking furiously at your desperate clit, fingers spreading and kneading your ass as you melted for him. You couldn’t help but fall forward as his ministrations continued, hands landing on either side of his torso as your eyes were met with the outline of his cock.

You whimpered at a particularly powerful lick, hands immediately reaching to untie his sweatpants. You tried to wiggle them off, Johnny lifting his hips to help you. You drooled when you finally saw his cock standing proud and red, aching for some sort of friction. Clearly Johnny had a lot more self-control than you.

You wasted no time pulling his dick in your mouth, moaning around his length as he kept passionately eating you out. He was acting like he was a man starved, messily licking into you and making the most lewd noises. Not that you were any better, suckling loudly around his length.

“Such a desperate slut,” Johnny moaned, pulling away from you for a second, “I try giving you a reward and you don’t last a minute before trying to fill one of your holes with my cock.”

You moaned around him, his words causing your pussy to shudder as he slipped a long digit into your folds. His finger, partnered with his tongue was too much. It felt too good. With the weight of Johnny’s cock on your tongue, his finger hitting your sensitive spots and his mouth ravishing your clit, you were fast approaching your high.

You let him slip out of your mouth, an unashamed moan leaving your lips as you started grinding your hips desperately against his hot tongue.

“Please, sir,” you moaned, “Please please please let me cum, I’m so close. I’ll do anything. I’ll be good, please just let me cum.”

He sucked your clit harsley before muttering, “Cum.”

You came almost immediately, sheer pleasure rocking through your body as you spasmed in Johnny’s hold. Legs shaking as you gripped onto the bed sheets for any sort of hold.

You could feel Johnny’s hands rubbing soothing circles across your skin, gently flipping you over so you were laying on the bed. He kissed you gently as you came down from your high, thumb rubbing your hip bone gently until your breathing regulated.

When your eyes fluttered open you were met with a grinning Johnny, pressing a soft kiss to your nose and cupping your face with both of his hands.

“Hi,” you giggled, smiling back at him.

“Hi,” he smiled back, “Better?”

You nodded at him, bringing him back down into a kiss, a much needier kiss. When you pulled away, you pouted.

“What now?” Johnny joked, playfully rolling his eyes at you.

“You are wearing too many clothes.”

He let out a full laugh then, pecking your lips once more before sitting up and throwing his shirt off. You let your hand run up his abdomen, fingers grazing the well-defined sections of his abs, before reaching his cock. You wrapped your hand tightly around his member, opening your mouth easily to him as he crashed his lips against yours.

“Color?” he asked, breathing heavily as you continued to pump his length in your hands.

“Green,” you said, “Fuck, so green. Johnny please fuck me.”

And just like that Johnny snapped into his dom persona, his eyes darkening once again. He pushed your hand away from him, his other hand wrapping around your neck.

“I thought I told you to call me sir.” He growled, slapping the inside of your thigh before sliding two fingers in your cunt. He started a relentless pace, teeth biting at your lips before kissing you. He squeezed your throat a little tighter, eyes flickering to yours to check for any discomfort. When he didn’t see any he latched his mouth onto you nipple, biting and sucking there as he began scissoring you open. Moans were tumbling out of your mouth, your already sensitive body thrumming with pleasure as he ravished you.

When he deemed you ready enough he threw your legs over his shoulders, your body pressed together as he bottomed out with a groan. His hair was dangling down and brushing against your body, tickling you slightly as he moved. You were absolutely throbbing around him. The stretch of his cock causing your walls to flutter around him.

“Fuck,” you muttered, feeling him so deep in your that you could’ve sworn you could see a bulge in your stomach. He pulled out slowly as he felt you relax around him, thrusting back harshly.

He kept a brutal pace, your body inching up the bed at the power of his thrusts. The two of you were loud, Johnny’s grunts spurring on your moans. You could tell that he was just as worked up as you were, biting and sucking any space of skin he could connect his mouth to.

“God, your little hole was made for my cock, huh kitten?” Johnny moaned, wrapping his hand around your neck once more, the moans flying out of your mouth praise enough for him to keep going.

You were being fucked so hard you couldn’t see straight, the breath knocked out of you from both Johnny’s thrusts and his hold around your neck. The lack of oxygen to your brain was creating a delicious fog of pleasure.

You protested as Johnny pulled out, going silent as he turned you over and harshly slapped your ass. You smiled dumbly as he slid his cock back into you, feeling so happy and full. You had been dreaming about his cock being in you again for months, and you couldn’t be happier that he was currently fucking you dumb with it.

You couldn’t help but clench your pussy around his cock as he wrapped your hair in his hand and pulled. He groaned at the sensation, keeping your hair in one hand and grabbing your hip with the other. He was frantic at this point, pulling your hip to meet his thrusts.

You weren’t going to last. You weren’t going to last with your hair being pulled, and him hitting your spots so powerfully. He knew it too, the way you were clenching around him and cursing were dead giveaways. And he didn’t stop as his thrusts lost their rhythm, simply reaching his hand between your legs and circling your clit with his fingers.

You took this as permission to cum, probably asking him for permission anyways. You had no idea what words were coming out of your mouth. You knew you were moaning, and shaking and so so close. It wasn’t until you heard the fuck fall from his lips and felt the warmth of his cum filling you that your snapped. Body shaking in pleasure as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

White noise filled your head as you clenched and unclenched around Johnny’s cock. Johnny was breathing just as heavily as you were, his body pressed firmly against your back. He took a few moments to collect himself, before gently pulling out of you and flopping to the side. He pulled you gently to his side, tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ear as the two of you lay in silence.

“We should shower,” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

“I don’t wanna move,” you groaned, “I don’t think I can move after that.”

Your head wiggled as Johnny’s chest shook with laughter, a foreign feeling filling your stomach as you smiled back at him.

“Well I will take full responsibility and carry you to the shower myself,” he said, sitting abruptly before pulling you completely in his arms, your legs automatically wrapping around his torso as he stood up.

“Shower or bath?” he asked, setting you on the bathroom counter when he reached your bathroom.

“Shower,” you decided quickly, pouting your lips for a kiss, which Johnny happily obliged, “Then we can eat dinner faster.”

“My thoughts exactly, kitten,” he smiled at you, checking the temperature of the water before grabbing both of your hands and leading you under the spray. He got started washing your body, giving your muscles a light massage as he lathered the soap.

He was taking care of you so well, cleaning every part of your body as gently as he could, pressing kisses anywhere he pleased. You couldn’t help but panic a little bit at the domesticity of it all. Just this morning you were calling him your sworn enemy, and now here you were, being cared for by him. Letting him lather your shampoo and wash your hair. It was almost painful the explosion of butterflies you felt, your heart beating out of your chest as you studied his face. His tongue was poking out slightly, focused on massaging your scalp. He was so damn handsome.

“Quit staring,” he laughed, “I know I'm irresistible but I don’t want you to get shampoo in your eyes.”

“Oh shut up,” you laughed, dumping some shampoo in your hand so that you could wash his hair too.

He toweled you off when you were done, pecking your lips quickly before heading back to your bedroom and pulling on his sweats. You followed behind him, pulling on some comfy clean clothes and heading into the living room. You watched as the muscles in his back tensed while he was looking for any sort of food, and you laughed when he told you to buy more groceries.

You had definitely misjudged him, a fact that was clearly evident as you talked over boxes of take out. It turns out one of his grandparents had passed away, which is why he didn’t do any work on his group project, and his mom was struggling financially right now so he moved into this cheap place to send her any leftover money he could.

“I feel like a dick,” you whined, shoving another piece of chicken into your mouth.

“You didn’t know,” Johnny reminded you, gently rubbing your calf, “Although I like the title girlfriend a lot better than enemy.”

“I’m not saying yes until you take me on a date,” you kicked him gently in the stomach, grinning at his fake hurt expression.

“We all know I won’t have to wait long,” he laughed, “I’m not the one who had any trouble getting off after the frist time.”

You sat up at this, tickling fingers ready, “You are so annoying, Johnny. Don’t get cocky!”

You both settled down after calling a truce,a smile ong your lips and Johnny’s hand in yours as you watched some stupid movie. Being with Johnny felt right, it felt good. He was easy to talk to, and could make you laugh so hard ramen came out of your nose. That night, when you fell asleep on the couch and woke up on the bed, you knew exactly who had carried you there. A snoring Johnny beside you with his arm draped over your stomach. Yeah, you had definitely misjudged him. What better way to apologize than by waking him up with your mouth.

So that's exactly what you did. He woke up pretty quickly, groaning as realized the wet warmth that surrounded his cock.

“Mmm, good morning to you too,” he joked groggily, running one of his hands through your hair as you continued sucking.

You watched as his breathing started to escalate, abs tensing as he let out beautiful moans. His eyes were hazy, clearly still sleepy, but they were trained on yours. He pulled you off of his length easily, dragging your face up for a slow but intense kiss. You lifted your butt as he pulled your shorts down, lips never parting. Quiet breathy moans filling your room as he pushed his length slowly into you. It was slow and lazy and perfect. His hands held onto your hips as you rode him.

“You look beautiful,”he whispered, rubbing one of his hands up and down your waist.

“You don’t look half-bad yourself,” you joked, hips stuttering at the pleasure. It didn’t take long for the two of you to finish, kissing lazily while you fucked and not stopping after the two of you had finished.

“Hey Johnny,” you started, pulling away for just a moment, “I really really like you.”

“Hey Yn,” he repeated, kissing your nose, “I really really like you too.”

You watched as his eyes crinkled while he flashed you a smile, and yeah you had a feeling you were fucked.

#johnny smut #johnny x reader #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny scenarios #johnny fluff #johnny fanfic #johnny #nct smut #nct fluff #nct #nct 127 smut #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127

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suganovakawa · 4 years ago

Note

i hope requests are still open, if not, you can just ignore this since u may be busy. i LOVE your s'mores headcanons with the karasuno boys, it's ! so ! cute ! may i request protective! captain as dads ( you could pick anyone you're comfortable with writing! ) and their only daughter started liking a boy ( bonus if it's the son of their old/current teamates if they played professional. ) thank you again if u ever decided to do this 💙

i’m slowly going to be going through requests again but THIS IS SO CUTE IM DYING PLS

this request is so old i know , i’m sorry for the wait anonnie pls forgive me fjjsnfmd

a loving father.

— kuroo, daichi, ushijima, oikawa, and bokuto’s only daughter ( separately ) falls for a boy.

gen masterlist.

taglist ( open ) ༉‧ @yams046 @janellion @avylee

— a/n : new layout! figured i’d try it, i always thought my previous layout was too tedious and spaced out, this new one is something more simple. enjoy!

— also, this is fem!reader!

tetsurou kuroo.

��｡ the first time he hears of his babygirl catching the feels™ for someone, immediately he goes into protective dad mode

✧｡ in the past he had always joked about him being the only man his daughter needed in her life, and daddy’s little girl would always comply because kuroo def is one of the best dads around, don’t @ me

✧｡ but boy oh boy he’s ready to wage war once he hears about this boy, and he doesn’t even know who the guy is

✧｡ he wasn’t supposed to hear about his daughter’s crush, you and your daughter were having some girl talk, and you actually had to pry it out of her system or else she would’ve just kept it secret

✧｡ he was 100% eavesdropping on the two of you, he always feels so left out when it’s girl talk time— he’s tried convincing the both of you to let him in on the girl time, but all of his attempts have failed

✧｡ both you and your daughter hear a “WHAT?!?” from outside your bedroom door, and the two of you run out to see kuroo literally pressed against the door with a scowl on his face

✧｡ oh boy, your daughter’s really gonna get it now

✧｡ “tetsurou! you know better than to eavesdrop on us like that! you know that girl time is for us only! no boys allowed!” ofc, if y’all want a son...

✧｡ JDJDJFJFJ HE’S IN HYSTERICS

✧｡ we love a good drama queen, he’s sprawled on the floor, pretending to sob in his hands as your daughter is trying ( and failing ) to hide her embarrassment that her dad happened to listen in on what she wanted to keep secret

✧｡ “noooo our babygirl is growing up too quickly! what happened to me being the only man in her life, huh? she’s leaving the nest too quickly, stay with meeeee! be my little princess forever!”

✧｡ proceeds to become the embodiment of 🥺

✧｡ “dad, it’s just a crush...”

✧｡ “i had a crush on your mother back in the day, look at how we are now!”

✧｡ “tetsurou...”

✧｡ kuroo looks to you and takes you by your shoulders, his lip quivering as he points to your guys’ child “how are you so calm about this? this is our daughter we’re talking about here! take me a little more seriously, y/n!”

✧｡ you’re cracking up at the sight of kuroo, wiping tears from your eyes as you cross your arms, an evil glint shining in those eyes of yours

✧｡ “you’ll never guess who she does have a crush on, sweetheart.”

✧｡ “what?”

✧｡ your daughter is trying oh so hard to give you a signal of no no no no no no no no no mom please spare me but you’re just ignoring it, “go on, sweetie. tell your father who this special boy of yours is.”

✧｡ “... lev’s son...”

✧｡ RIP tetsurou kuroo, gone too soon.

daichi sawamura.

✧｡ now, daichi takes the news far better than how kuroo does, but you can tell he’s just a wee bit protective

✧｡ you can see it in the way he scrunches his nose every time your daughter brings up this boy— it’s subtle, but definitely noticeable

✧｡ he finds about his daughter’s crush while he picks her up from school, he spots her chatting up a storm with a classmate of hers

✧｡ “is that a friend of yours, sweetheart?” she’s in high spirits as daichi takes her home, which he’s happy with. he wants nothing more than to see his little bundle of joy happy as can be

✧｡ “silly daddy! that’s my boyfriend! he asked me out today while we were both at the swings, and i said yes!”

✧｡ JDJSJJF HE ALMOST SWERVED THE CAR BUT CAUGHT HIMSELF JUST IN TIME, KEEP DRIVING MR. SAWAMURA YOURE ALMOST HOME

✧｡ “b-boyfriend, you say?”

✧｡ “mhm! i’ve had a crush on him for a while, and he likes me back! so when he asked me to be his girlfriend, i said yes and we hugged!”

✧｡ by the looks of his face when he and your child came home, you knew exactly what had happened between your husband and your daughter on the way back— you were suppressing your laughter as much as possible, but a snicker escaped your lips as you greeted your daughter and let her inside

✧｡ “you knew about this, didn’t you, y/n?” daichi mumbled as he greeted you with a kiss on the forehead, clearly bothered by the news

✧｡ “she’d always fill me in on her adventures with her crush, telling me how she knows deep within her heart that they belong together.” you had turned to your daughter, who finished putting her bag down and you picked her up in her arms, “did he ask you out today, sweetie? were your predictions correct?”

✧｡ “yes! we’re dating now!” just hearing those words made daichi’s heart clench, but he had to just smile through the pain

✧｡ “that’s... lovely, sweetheart...” had he bothered to say anything more, he was going to pass out

✧｡ “wait, daddy doesn’t know who your boyfriend is, huh?” you smirked, causing daichi’s face to pale, “why don’t you tell him who your special someone is, dear?”

✧｡ your daughter grinned, “you know his dad, daddy! mr. nishinoya!”

✧｡ daichi proceeded to stare a wall blankly for the next half hour, repeating the words “oh my god, noya has a son” like a mantra.

✧｡ “mommy, what’s wrong with daddy?”

✧｡ “just give him some time, he’ll process it soon.”

wakatoshi ushijima.

✧｡ the first time he heard of his daughter having a crush on someone, it went completely over his head and thought nothing of it

✧｡ “daddy! i have a crush on that boy over there!”

✧｡ “oh. that’s nice, dear.”

✧｡ you were initially surprised when you heard his reaction, you weren’t expecting ushi to be so nonchalant— he was very overprotective of your only child, even if he didn’t show it

✧｡ turns out, he doesn’t know what a crush IS

✧｡ he thought it was just some childhood slang for classmate, and proceeded to carry on with his day— his daughter didn’t explain to him what having a crush meant, either

✧｡ oh sweet mother of jesus, you’ve married a complete dunce

✧｡ “toshi... you’re okay with her having a crush on a boy, right? you don’t mind?” you had to know for yourself, you asked ushijima about it when he came home from adlers practice; you let him wash up and both of you had put your child down for the night, you were busy making a late night meal for him since you know he can get hungry after working so hard

✧｡ “why wouldn’t i be okay with it? doesn’t she have many crushes?”

✧｡ you pressed your fingers against your temples and sighed loudly, shaking your head in disbelief. “do you even know what crushes are?”

✧｡ “classmates...?” seeing the shock on your face, he raised an eyebrow slightly, confused with your exasperation. “is it not youth slang for classmates?”

✧｡ “toshi— no. just, no.” you sat down in a chair next to him, and proceeded to explain that crushes are not slang for classmates, and to explain what your daughter was going through

✧｡ uh, i think you broke him

✧｡ after a whole five minutes of silence, all you got in return was “... oh. that’s what crushes are.”

✧｡ his face was completely blank, you weren’t sure if it was him realizing that he did not like that, or if he still was completely confused to his daughter having feelings for a boy

✧｡ “... well, i don’t see the harm in it.” you turned in surprise— his face was still stoic and unreadable, but he had shrugged slightly as it was your turn to raise an eyebrow, “a harmless crush on a boy isn’t too bad. and besides,” you could see a ghost of a smirk appear on his lips, “i had a crush on you, and we turned out like this.”

✧｡ sir that is illegal wtf go back to being a dunce

✧｡ you scoffed and hid your blush in your hands, rolling your eyes a bit, “do you even know who the boy is, toshi?”

✧｡ “am i supposed to know?”

✧｡ “ask your friend hoshiumi tomorrow at pracrice, i think he’ll be able to fill you in on it.”

✧｡ wakatoshi had many, many questions for his daughter the next evening when he came back from practice, oh boy.

tooru oikawa.

✧｡ honestly, i think tooru would take the news the best out of everyone here JFJSJJD probably because he’s so experienced in having people fawn and gawk over him, oops

✧｡ but obviously he’s still gonna be a little diva about it; after all, it’s HIS perfect princess we’re talking about here

✧｡ he came back home at the sight of your daughter daydreaming to you about her day at school, anyone with common sense could see how whipped and smitten over whoever this person was

✧｡ “we held hands during recess today! i almost didn’t want to wash my hands when we went inside today— hi daddy!”

✧｡ oikawa scooped her up in her arms and chuckled, ruffling her hair slightly, “hey there sweetheart, who did you hold hands with today?”

✧｡ the little girl blushed, lowering her voice shyly as she twiddled her thumbs, “it’s this boy in my class who i really like...”

✧｡ you couldn’t help but laugh at tooru’s initial reaction; his eyebrows flew upwards as his jaw parted slightly, processing the fact that his babygirl had developed a crush™ on a classmate

✧｡ tooru wasn’t too bothered by it, he was just in shock— immediately after he simply kissed her hair and smiled brightly at your daughter, “that’s real sweet, princess. anyone would be lucky to have someone as adorable as you liking them.”

✧｡ “you’re just saying that because i’m your daughter, daddy.”

✧｡ “no! i am just saying the truth!”

✧｡ he huffed, “besides, you better not get married so soon! you’re still MY baby, he can’t take you from me just yet! i’m still number one in your heart, right?”

✧｡ “tooru...”

✧｡ “y/n, how can you be so content with her having a crush already? she’ll be gone from us so soon from the power of love! not yet not yet, i’m not ready to say goodbye!”

✧｡ embodiment of 🥺, part two

✧｡ “of course you’re still number one daddy, i just like him a little bit, that’s all!” your daughter pouted a bit, causing the brunet to chuckle and kiss her forehead next

✧｡ “i’m joking, princess. having a crush is so adorable, i remember when your mom still had a crush on me.”

✧｡ “you had a crush on me first, tooru.”

✧｡ “BESIDES THE POINT, who’s the lucky guy?”

✧｡ you laughed at his question, your lips quivering as your suppressed your laugh but not fully, a hand covering your mouth but the laughter evidently there, tooru looked at you weirdly

✧｡ “what’s so funny?”

✧｡ you turned to your daughter, “tell him, sweetie.”

✧｡ a bright grin, followed by, “kyoutani!”

✧｡ holy mother of goodness oikawa almost dropped her from the name, a loud gasp filling the room as his face turned completely white

✧｡ “y/n, please tell me i heard her wrong. PLEASE TELL ME I DIDN’T JUST HEAR THAT.”

✧｡ “our daughter crushing on mad dog’s son? no, you heard that perfectly clear, darling.”

koutarou bokuto.

✧｡ bokuto will take it personally and will see to it that he will win this one-sided war for your daughter’s affection

✧｡ same way kuroo found out, he was def eavesdropping on you and your daughter’s girl time; there was no escaping him the moment he opened the door

✧｡ “b-but what do you mean you like a boy at your school?” emo mode is a go

✧｡ “i just like him, daddy! it’s not like i’m gonna marry him!” she paused, “... yet.”

✧｡ “Y/NNNNNNN OUR BABY IS GROWING UP SO QUICKLY DO SOMETHING!”

✧｡ “kou, it’s just a crush...”

✧｡ “do you not remember how it was when i had a crush on you?”

✧｡ you sighed, running a hand through his hair to calm him down— which worked, a little bit— “you, koutarou, are a special breed.” you kissed his forehead, sighing at how his hair depleted

✧｡ “you are still my princess! my babygirl! i should talk to this fellow, because i will not be second best to my daughter’s heart.” he huffed, puffing out his chest with pride

✧｡ she, on the other hand, is completely embarrassed by this, “daddy, no...”

✧｡ “what? why not?”

✧｡ “actually, you should let him do just that, sweetheart.” you crossed your arms and smiled, much to your daughter’s dismay. “i think akaashi will find entertainment in seeing this for himself.”

✧｡ “akaashi? what does he have to do with this?”

✧｡ too late, you’re already calling the other fukurodani alumni, chuckling as both bokuto and your daughter are giving you the same exact confused look— like father, like daughter

✧｡ “akaashi will be here in about 10 minutes. i told him to bring his child, here, too.”

✧｡ “baby, what are you talking about—”

✧｡ meanwhile, your daughter was in a frenzy, running around the house as she screamed about getting ready and looking nice for the guests— bokuto was still plopped one the floor, looking up at you like a lost puppy

✧｡ akaashi walks through the door with a grin on his lips, holding his son’s hand as you greeted both of them at the door, “akaashi! wonderful to have you here! your son is looking so handsome.”

✧｡ “akaashi? why are you here?” kou blinks in confusion, scratching the side of his head before he notices how his own daughter is reacting— she looks like she’s about to explode, hiding behind his leg with a whole face of blush

✧｡ “y/n said you wanted to talk to my son about something, so i figured why not? i’ve got a day off.” akaashi chuckled and waved to your daughter, who shyly waved back but hid again before the other guest in the house could get a good look at her

✧｡ “WAIT. YOUR SON IS—”

✧｡ you left the room, you were laughing so loudly— akaashi found this quite humorous as well; bokuto looked down at his daughter, clinging onto his leg and smiling softly to herself. she had gotten the courage to wave at akaashi’s son, who smiled brightly at her and blushed as well

✧｡ “... oh my god.” he felt like an idiot, yes— but akaashi’s kid being the lucky guy? “ARRANGE THE MARRIAGE!”

✧｡ “koutarou, NO.”

✧｡ “bokuto-san, no.”

✧｡ “DADDY, NOOOOOO!”

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pseudoneiiric · 3 years ago

Text

sorry to all 163 of my followers who didn’t follow me for l.ittle h.ope content but that’s all im thinking abt atm

as i go through my playthrough, i’m going to be documenting some of my headcanons under the cut here so i can organize them later because like, since there’s so much reincarnation going on, it’s hard to keep everything organized. obviously spoilers under the cut for lh (and if y’all want to play it i 100% recommend doing so and doing so without getting spoiled! just know that it’s a horror game that deals heavily in death and religion, with an important chunk of the game dedicated to puritan witch trials. jumpscares are also pretty frequent, so be careful if you do decide to play it! if you’ve got specific triggers but are interested in playing regardless, feel free to dm me asking about specific things cause this post isn’t really meant to detail all the content warnings for the game)

anyway! yeah! them!

A INCARNATIONS

anthony

anthony has a higher ability to feel his past lives. often feeling haunted by past decisions, he can also likely feel dizzy or hear ringing in his ears when he repeats his sins. he’s fearful of history repeating itself, even if he’s not entirely sure why he’s so certain that these events happened.

anthony has a vested interest in puritanism and witch trials, and is a walking encyclopedia on little hope’s history. had the clarkes survived, he would have wanted to pursue a history degree and renovate the town’s museum to become a strong tourist attraction.

anthony and tanya were adopted together and moved through the foster system together. because of this, he genuinely considers her to be his older sister and cares deeply about her. the two of them have a strong relationship and he often listens to tanya talk about her love life and helps her get ready for dates.

anthony is a very neat person and tends to be high-strung in some regards. he’s particular about how things are done and prefers to be independent so that he can do things in a way that feels proper. he has a strong sense of what is right and wrong, and will judge even those he loves if he feels they’re being immoral.

abraham

abraham has no reported family, a high degree of loyalty to reverend carver, and seems to be of high class. he likely was an orphan taken in and raised by the church, leading him to gain a high status within the clergy by the time he was 18.

abraham (if i remember correctly) is the only one of the puritans who both recognizes the figures from the future as apparitions and doesn’t seem too upset by them, lending credence to the idea that he’s used to seeing things that aren’t there. a) schizophrenia, but b) i like to believe that this granted him some credibility in the church for being able to see evil spirits sent by the devil.

andrew

as of november 8, andrew’s traits are the following: detached, anxious, compassionate (haven’t gotten it yet, just know it’s there), uncertain, fearful, practical, insecure, altruistic. fearful is his default locked trait, and the others are: anxious, uncertain, resolute, (??? if in low point, he says nothing when john says they must stop mary), and detached.

considering the ages of the students here (excepting angela) are 18, 20, and 22, and taylor took two years off to travel europe, it’s safe enough to say that this is a second-year creative writing course. andrew likely graduated high school a year early, and in order for him to still be 18 by the end of may, he must have been born anywhere from late may to early september. i vaguely headcanon him as a late august-early september baby because out of the summer zodiac signs, virgo fits him the best.

if andrew had a demon, it would have a halo of poppets circling its head and move as if it were a marionette. one hand would be clenched in a tight fist (holding a box of matches). if andrew is caught by the demon, it would kill him by staking him through the temple, fulfilling his destiny of dying from head trauma. the demon symbolizes the sin of self-sacrifice and putting others’ needs before your own, even at the expense of your health or well-being. if andrew participates in self-sabotaging actions or blindly follows orders he knows are wrong (alongside, of course, condemning mary), he will feel dizzy, nauseous, and hear a high-pitched ringing noise.

andrew took this creative writing course because he had taken a first-year course with john and had liked his teaching style.

M INCARNATIONS

megan

all m incarnations, like the a incarnations (anthony), have a higher degree of cognizance of their past lives, even if they cannot remember the past lives exactly. old grudges or affections may be instinctively carried over.

mary

mary tells carver, “i am a child, the devil has no time for me,” (information found in exchange for gaining the locked trait ‘baffled’ for daniel im sorry king) and you know what? good for her!

m...?

been thinking about a name for her. maggie, madison, melissa, molly, or madeleine seem like such good names. god. i’ll have to come up with a backstory and everything for her too, because, like, what is she doing there??? i need to know!!!

A INCARNATIONS... 2!

angela

as of november 8, angela’s traits are the following: abrasive, understanding, derisive, truthful, skeptical, indifferent, nervous. derisive is her default locked trait, and the others are: abrasive, aggressive, dismissive, angry, irritable, and resentful.

anne

something something she’s religious im tired i’ve written too much

T INCARNATIONS

taylor

as of november 8, taylor’s traits are the following: sensitive, witty, flirtatious, hopeful, deceitful, dismissive, headstrong, aggressive. deceitful is her default locked trait, and the others are: aggressive, uncertain, irritable, dismissive, resentful, derisive, and fearful.

tanya

tba

additional info:

as of november 8, john’s traits are the following: rational, overbearing, reckless, dismissive, resolute, irritable. dismissive is his default locked trait, and the others are: reckless, nervous, panicked, uncertain, indignant, dismissive, angry, aggressive, and fearful.

as of november 8, daniel’s traits are the following: defensive, amiable, arrogant, sympathetic, excited, reckless, baffled, heroic, resentful. arrogant is his default locked trait, and the others are: derisive, baffled (im so sorry mary i love you i promise i didn’t know), indecisive, aggressive, fearful, and reckless.

as of november 8, the lip rankings are as follows: vince having the best lips even after grief hitting him, anthony (rip to the clarke fire taking everything away from him, including his lips), then tanya, dennis, angela (with a missing top lip), and john in last place with a missing bottom lip. johngela real because their lips complete each other. i have gotta say, vince saying anthony didn’t lose everything when he lost not only his family but also his luscious lips? cancelled. writing his callout as we speak

since im working on height stuff, just wanted to add that will poulter’s height is reportedly 6′3″, alex ivanovici’s height is reportedly 6′0″, and ellen david’s height is reportedly 5′8″, which seems about right for their character models. daniel seems right around andrew’s height, after scouring some scenes and trying to assess who stands more upright and who’s taller, so i’d pin him as ... 6′4″? taylor’s height is awful cause in some shots she looks like she comes to andrew’s shoulder and in other shots she seems like she comes up past daniel’s ear? and in some shots she seems like she’s a bit taller than angela, so... i’ll probably put her at 5′9″.

#ooc.#anthony clarke: study.#angela: study.#megan clarke: study.#taylor: study.#follower count //

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