#+ hand is killing me still!!! gotdamn

[reikunrei]

damn. had a dream last night that i just. got top surgery. and now i have to be awake with tits?? unfair :(

[ineffablebookgirl]

Stressed Out Snek

Crowley receiving the Antichrist infant is Extremely Stressed Out (TM). He starts with bargaining: "Already?" "Why me?" "This really isn't my scene." Then he's reduced to single-word utterances: "Centuries. Triumph. Glorious -- tool." And then we get a classic string of Crowley mumbling nonsense. "Yeah. Okay. I'll um ... be off then. Get it over with. Not that I wanna get it over with. Obviously. But, I'll be popping along. Great. Fine. Yep." He turns to saunter away, even still moving his mouth as if looking for another thing to say. "Ciao!" he calls without looking back.

Remind you of anything?

Nodding. "Right." Head shake. "Well, then..." A sneer and a "nyeh." He turns to walk away, then looks back to call, "Have a nice doomsday!"

My point is, we don't know Crowley very well in those first minutes of episode 1, but looking back, we can see that he is actually at a very high stress setting.

Crowley's stress settings:

(1) The world is definitely probably going to end but I have an idea and if I can just keep. my. shit. together. and put my whole snussy into convincing this thick-headed angel to work with me maybe we have a chance of still being together even though he won't admit he has feelings for me even though I totally understand why he won't because we both might be discorporated and/or completely destroyed if we were found out and the whole point is to get more time together but gotdamn if I have to spend another 6,000 years like this I don't know what I'll do but if I have to spend even one moment alive without him I also don't know what I'll do so keep it to-fucking-gether Anthony J. Crowley.

(2) Heart and soul shattering all over the carpet.

(3) Heart and soul fragments making my feet bleed as I run into the bookshop regardless of pain. getting ground into the carpet by an uncaring cosmic boot heel.

(4) Heart and soul fragments being ground into the carpet by an uncaring cosmic boot heel.

(5) Killed a demon, escaped another demon, lost the angel in a horrific bookshop fire, got wasted, found the angel again, drove recklessly even for me, discorporated that other demon, kept it together all the way to Tadfield, reunited with the angel, lost the second love of my life, my Bentley, this is the last straw -- but it's okay to totally melt down because the angel is here.

(6) I actually need something from him for the first time in 5,800 years, and I can't get it any other way, and my whole relationship with him is putting him and me and us in existential danger every moment we spend together but I can't stop myself, even sleeping for a century didn't fix this hole in my heart maybe if I stay very very still this thing won't break.

(7) Ohmysomeone we did it we did it we did it we actually did it we held hands not to mention we tricked the forces of heaven and hell and we get to have our happily ever after at least for now at least until the big one we fucking did it keep it the fuck together you useless demon

[starlightandetherealshadows]

you are KILLING me with Zeros nipple piercings. they are already perfect and you still keep making them better, how am I supposed to do other routes when they have me hooked already. (begrudgingly admitting to you V is hot too but I'd rather do a quadruple backflip than let them know their effect on me)

Hi love! :･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･

HAHAHAHAHHAH no like Zero is so damn hot. I would chew my own arm off for them to look at me.

V is too, i agree completely, but V is hot in a very obvious, knows they're hot and plays into it kind of way. Like looking at Zayn Malik or Bella Hadid. obviously they're hot, we have eyes. V has been good looking their whole life, no awkward teenage years here. Nah, they have that Teen Drama 30 year old actor playing a sophomore blessing. They use their hotness to their advantage.

But Zero, although they are very conventionally attractive, are so unaware of their own hotness that it somehow makes them hotter. They'll be stretching in the kitchen and MC will get a glimpse of their toned stomach and short circuit. Zero can't fathom that their nipple piercings or their oral fixation/tendency to suck on whatever is in their hands would turn someone on.

Zero has never had a relationship, their first kiss was with Veronica/Vincent (oh i can't wait to tell y'all about THAT...all V does is suffer).

and ooooo once Zero realizes that MC and V are into them...then you'll get see confident, coy Zero that causes global nosebleeds like gotdamn....

I NEEDDDD THEM!!

Hehehe thank you for your message, angel!! ｡･:*˚:✧｡

All my love,

Cheye

[hausofmamadas]

| A DANCE WITH DINARRÓN: Narcos Mexico/Tax Collector AU Crossover |

… aka an exercise in pure OTP self-indulgence but I don’t care cuz I don’t even care

═

Mira, let’s get this out the way, right quick.

If ever you think a Dinarrón post is my last, you’ve probly underestimating my ability to test everyone’s patience by hyperfocusing on one thing and taking to the interwebs to scream about it. Te lo juro I can and will be going for miles with this shit sksjsjsjsj. Having said that, I don’t have thaaat much to scream in all caps about? Like shits kinda speaks for itself.

✷

Howmever I do hereby submit to the official record: David Ayer’s the greatest gift to this earth not stiff competition aksksks bc so sorry Mr. Ayer but most of your movies are hot!garbage pero fun hot!garbage so (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ Ayer’s actual #1, capital T, Top contribution to history is not the movie Tax Collector but is this scene from the movie Tax Collector

…. of not our David Barron but still a Bobby-Soto-looking Eme gangster named David Barrón Cuevas … FUCKING 💃🏻SALSA💃🏻 DANCING LIKE ARE YOU FORREAL TRYING TO HAVE ME KILLED

✷

And with this gift, Ayer basically fueled the fire for this mind-meld of Dinarrón dancing, aaand it’s basically the sole reason for me waking up in the morning, it basically maaade the Dinarrón Blue Jeans vid bc I basically only decided to add TC clips after seeing the uncanny similarities to Dina’s wedding.

✷

It’s like Ayer actually Freddy Kruegered me, plucked the scene straight from my Dinarrón dreams bc the way it fits so well with the scenes of her lil dance routine have me Lebron-tear-ing to the goddamn moon.

✷

And since I first saw this hot!garbage movie, can conservatively say that I think about this mmm like twice a day. Like they’re not even from the same movie/show, but in my mind, they’re irrevocably fused together like this did just happen. It is canon wedding instead of what actually happened aka Min yelling at Barrón for drinking agua mineral and calling him Pancha’s “gente”

✷

OH AND how weird is it to see our boy smile ?? Barrón barely speaks a word sksks so like smile!??!!?! Pffft pls. Mans is a sicario, no tiene tiempo para eso curling-the-corners-of-his-mouth-to-express-joy mamadas. He’s too busy smoldering for no goddamn reason and white-lady-math-meme-ing his surroundings for threats both of which look remarkably similar re: what his face is doing.

Also this/ks:’kskamb mf hip swivel Dina doin in that last one🥴 sending me into full fucking heart palpitations. Like her booty alone, Jesus that booty does not get the gotdamn recognition it deserves in this fandom.

*slams hands on table like overzealous cop during an interrogation, stands up too forcefully knocks over own chair*

And YOU KNOW WHAT? I’m here before the court today, your honor, to atone for that sin. And since you’re dying to know, yes, being a martyr for The Cause is indeed a thankless job with no 401K or health benefits but I hear they’re gonna paint some real nice pictures of me after I’m dead, so clearly a fair trade.

═

taglist (for the free gifs): @narcolini @narcos-narcosmx @ashlingnarcos @drabbles-mc @rerorero-my-cherry @criatividad-e @cositapreciosa @cherixrosa-archived @artemiseamoon @purplesong1028 @mandaloria314 @tinylittleobsessions @narcosmx @thesolotomyhan

[sagemoderocklee]

TELL ME THE HEADCANONS PER LEVEL POSTHASTE‼️

ok, first round of the HC levels. im sorry this kinda sucks and isn't super exciting. was hoping id have more energy after work since i wfh today but then i did some more tidying up in my room and my now my head hurts and im exhausted but i have a second one of these in my inbox that i can answer this weekend that will hopefully be more exciting

LVL 1:

I feel like this could fit into level 3 in the sense that i think fandom as a whole all agrees that lee is Chinese coded, but that's also so obvious in the series and so intentional with all his Bruce Lee parallels that I think it can fit into lvl 1. and i think extrapolating on that is that he's an orphan since like canonically his folks were never so much as mentioned.

obviously my personal hc for Lee's parents is that they came directly from another country as per The Ballad, so in my hc his folks never actually lived in Konoha and were not in fact killed because of the kyuubi's attack on Konoha when Naruto was born which i think the farther lee's origins are expanded on the farther away from level 1 it gets so i'll just leave it at that

LVL 2:

Otsutsuki never happened. Like a large chunk of the war I just straight up omit, including the stupid ass aliens that were never foreshadowed in the series and Or*chimaru's stupid abusive, predatory ass is still dead too.

lots to be said about Kishimoto's writing, but i will never believe he ever intended the shit with the otsukuki or the cookie cutter epilogue we got. kishimoto might not be an astounding writer and he def lost the plot in a big way but i do think he deserves more credit than a whole ass plot twist that makes zero sense and just dragged the series on. like it was very clear that them aliens was just shoved in there to set up for Boruto... so when you read my shit, just remember, fuck them aliens (and fuck or*chimaru too)

LVL 3:

I'd say that like everything about my worldbuilding around Suna and Wind country could fall into this category because it's absolutely not rooted in canon material, and like to a very small degree my whole 'there's more than one languages across these various countries' thing has now become a thing other people do (yes, lookin at you kel) which like again very small scale but i guess could be like a fanon thing that people might start to run with more.

im not doin a great job of going into detail on this one but it's def like a if you know you know thing cause tryna get into the nitty gritty with all my worldbuilding would take me all night XD

LVL 4:

i be makin up so much gotdamn shit... does an OC child count? Like could I say Ruri? since like technically 700 IS canon and i just said fuck dem kids... partly cause fuck dem kids but specifically fuck boruto (the series) and all it stands for and does to the original series, and also partly cause like i dont want ppl comin to read my fics with pre-existing assumptions based in Boruto canon. like if you fuck wit boruto that's yo business but it's not for me and ill never acknowledge it in my fics (i kno i did like... once a long long time ago but that was when 700 had dropped and i was trying) or anywhere else cause its shit and its always gone be shit.

so like yeah i guess Temari and Shikamaru's daughter is my level four headcanon. and the other kids they'll have that haven't become relevant to anything ive writen (yet). and also Kankuros various and sundry bastards some of which ill have reasons to write and some of which i probably never will cause he's got a decent-ish handful of bastards out there in my headcanon.

[sharonisthebettercarter]

butcher's bussy~<3!! lmao for sure it's gotta count for somethin'<3<3<3 poor baby boi ain't got nothin' else--LITERALLY--KIDDING...

but lawd he *really* doesn't have much. his nose is cute, real cute. as is the index and ring finger (apparently!) and i doubt he'd want what little he has becoming the world's smallest diamond in the eldritch horror compacter i feel so bad for billy i--

;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

let's just say butcher's too busy compensating lollygagging when he could be donating some fine bussy to a worthy cause. i mean he's *clearly* at the ready--i'll stop now. XD

he'd def make him worse i--

no joke tho, it's actually legit canon that cows can calm homie--and he's shown them more respect than he has any human/supe. leik that *cow* he milked had pronouns for him and it still sticks with me--

'she was in pain'

SHE???

and then he proceeds to cause pain for a woman he considers 'his own kind' LEIK--

gotdamn.

pretty sure if you told homie cows and humans need each other, suddenly the human life would have value to him...

side note. i do genuinely love/hate homie's progression and growth with this. i think it's better to say that the influence that women (in particular it seems, but more specifically manipulators since this would def include edgar/vogelbaum) have over him has been slowly dying down. he's fuckin' tired. he's sick because of it and there comes a point where shit (narcissistic abuse) gets to be too much. no healthy love? well, explosive rage bomb incoming...

he's seeing through it more easily (or at least responding worse for them) as a result and on the one hand--

i love it cause it makes it harder for people to abuse/manipulate him (great example is what he did to barb--'oh you don't fear me? here have a reason to and then i'll leave you to the worst possible fate~<3') but also everyone is fucked (kind of a plus and minus there for me lol)

and then i hate it cause it's the kinda thing that tends to settle into a sorta comfortable misogyny... which is def already there on some level--but it's def gotten worse. but basically he's the guy who became a serial killer *because* of an abusive mother (figure)--has already exploded and killed that mother (figure) and... well, ya get the picture.

down with the sickness--specifically the mommy part<3

and it's fucking beautiful and terrifying all the same<3<3<3

[slaughtermehole]

Bonten Mikey trapping you with a baby

It's been a week since you guys had fought and you have left. Mikey was losing himself once again. He wanted to kill you and kiss you. He been blowing up your phone with threats ever since you left him.

"Call me back this is your last warning y/n".

You stayed at a friend's house and you had noticed you forgot something at the house you and mikey had shared. You had forgot your laptop. You were hesitant to go get it knowing the chances of running into mikey. However, all your work files was on that laptop. You ran to your car and drove home. You had finally arrived and as you were putting the key in you looked behind your shoulder to make sure no one was there watching you. The door had opened and you went upstairs into your room to see your laptop laying on the bed

"Whew it's still here.. lemme just find the cord and we'll be outta here for goo-"

"Y/n."

You had froze. You felt cold. Your hands began to shake and your breath began to shorten. You knew exactly whose voice you heard. It was mikey.

His gun was pointing you. His eyes were so cold. He was furious and you could tell.

"You're not going anywhere y/n"

You began to tear up with the laptop still in your hand. His gun was still pointed directly at you.

"Mikey can you put the gun down at least? You're (sniffle)scaring me" you said while crying

He was silent. He didn't respond. He just stared at you while still keeping the gun pointed at you. He wanted answers. Why did you leave? You treated him so good. You should have known there would be no escape. The only escape there is, is death. You were his. Only his. The thought of you leaving him and moving on keeps him awake at night.

"MIKEY GOTDAMN" you yell. You were sick of the silence.

"I JUST WANT TO MOVE ON. I DONT WANNA DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU ARENT THE SAME MIKEY I USE TO KNO-"

Mikey interrupted you with a loud bang coming from the gun. He had shot the wall a inch next to you.

"Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP Y/N"

He was starting to lose control of his emotions and you could tell by the way his eyes widened.

"I LOST EVERYONE WHO WERE CLOSE TO ME AND ILL BE DAMNED IF I LOOSE YOU. IF I HAVE KILL US BOTH I WILL."

You stood there crying. He wasnt the same. You wanted the old mikey back. His gun was still in his hand. You knew if you didn't do something now somebody was going to end up dead

You walked over to him. Cradled his face. You could see tears forming in his eyes.

You kissed him.

Your intention was to disarm him and bring him back to a calmer state because he was beginning to loose himself. You are aware you are his peace. As you was kissing him, he dropped his gun and begin to lift your shirt. He had pushed you against the wall still kissing you.

Your intention was to disarm him but as the kiss got deeper you realized you wanted this as bad as he did. Mikey finally got his hands on you. He finally got what he wanted, you.

Your shirt was off now exposing your breast. As he stared upon you, still fully clothed. You grabbed his dick and unzipped his pants now exposing his hard cock. You placed his dick in between your tits giving him a titfuck while he was still standing.

"I love your beautiful tits y/n I'm going to bust right in between them."

You spat on his dick while you massaged his dick in-between your tits going as fast as you could. He moaned your name beautifully. His breaths were getting heavy and you could tell he was about to cum

"Cmon mikey.. bust in between my tits baby. I'm all yours look at them mikey. Look at them."

As you continued to glide your tits up and down his dick he busted. You used your finger to lick the cum off your boobs. Yet, he was far from done. He went a whole week without seeing you. He wants to cherish this moment.

He took off his shirt and whispered in your ear

"you're having all my babies tonight. Gonna get you so full. I want you pregnant."

You didn't say anything. You were so intoxicated with the sex he was going to supply but little did you know Mikey was dead serious.

He began to kneel to your pussy licking it and eating it whole. He sucked your clit and He gave himself a hand job while he ate your pussy. Boy was so horny. You moaned as loud as you could.

"I love hearing you fucking scream"

You came right on his mouth. He slurped you so well. He missed your pussy.

"Did you fuck anyone else? Did you give anyone else my pussy y/n"

" No! No sir! I- I promise mikey"

"I'll kill you if you did"

You were scared of him. You stared into his eyes nervously. He then began to flip you over in doggy style position. Your pussy was beyond wet and he moaned while he massaged the tip in.

"Mikey...your dick feel so good"

He took his tip out. You were so tight and your pussy wasn't opening up for him he stuck his fingers in surprising you,

"You need to open up for me. I want your pussy to take me so you can cum.

He slid his dick back in and this time he managed to get it in all the way. You moaned like crazy and so did he. Your ass clapped onto him. He smacked it as hard as he could

"This your punishment for leaving. *smack* you're never leaving Me and I mean never. *smack* you're forever glued to me *smack* we belong together *smack*"

You screamed out his name crying from the pain and pleasure. He was getting faster and faster.

"OH Y/N ITS SO DAMN TIGHT. IM CUMMING INSIDE YOU"

You began to see white. Your vision blurred. You were fucked outta your mind. You began to feel mikey hot warm seed leaking into you. He kept his cock inside until he was done emptying himself. Thats a week worth of cum. Best believe your pussy was full.

He then pulled out kissing your neck.

"Mm-missed you so fucking much. I can tell you're tired y/n get some rest and I'll clean you up"

Boy was he a good liar. He was waiting til you fell asleep so he can sneak into the bathroom cabinet to grab your plan b.

You drifted off and that's exactly what he did. He had called sanzu while preparing his shower.

"She's home. Pick me up and Make sure you change the locks and lock her inside the house. She's not going anywhere. If she needs anything she will have to go through u first"

He hung up the phone and showered. His mission was complete. You were stuck with him forever. He knew deep down he got you pregnant and it made him happy.

He left the house leaving you in bed. You went searching for your plan b and noticed it wasn't there and as you were trying to walk out the house you noticed the doors were locked from Outside. He also had took your phone.

3 weeks later, you complained to sanzu about your morning sicknesses and asked if he could get you a test from the store. Turns out you're pregnant. As you looked at the test you began to form tears in your eyes because you realized what mikey was up to all along

Mission accomplished. He will never let you leave.

[dmc-tings]

If I may. The Four Lords with a reader who is a child of the Bakers who moved to the village, for whatever reason, like a year before Eveline showed up at the house and infected them.

How would they handle the news that their humans parents were infected for years and are now dead? Like would they try to hide the deaths, would they be honest and tell the reader about what happened and how would they go about comforting you? Would they try and track down Lucas and Zoe to bring them to the village?

Long Lost Baker with the Four Lords

(This was an interesting one! Very fun to write!! Thank you for this and I hope you enjoy it! I added Joe cause his dlc was bussin)

Alcina Dimitrescu

She had no idea about your family background

And didn't care to ask you, since you never brought it up

But you where in the library with her

Picking out a book, when you came across a file

"Huh. You knew about the Bakers? They were my family."

"Oh?" Alcina asked, raising a brow at you, "Well they were killed. If they wher-"

You paused, shaking, "What? They... they where killed ?"

Alcina moved to your side, putting a comforting arm around you

"Yes. My Love... did you care for them?"

You nodded, almost choking on your emotions

'Dead.' You thought

You didn't even really say goodbye

Your father, Jack, didn't want you to leave the safety of their home

But your mother, Marguerite, insisted that there was more to the world, than just that old ass swamp

Zoe and Lucas really didn't want you to leave either

But you left, Lucas helping you navigate away and Zoe giving you some money, that she saved up

"The mold... The girl, Eveline, she took over the home... and your parents are gone. But your siblings and uncle live."

You looked at her in shock, you didn't know who Eveline was

But some of your family was alive!

When Alcina saw the hope in your eyes, she smiled, "What would you like me to do?"

"Try and bring them here! Please!"

She nodded, your wish was her command

For months, she had known you might want your family with you

They were being held away from the Castle, so she could surprise you

Though getting Joe and the BSAA soldiers that surrounded said home

Joe was also taken

"Come. I have something to show you." She stood up, towering over you, keeping a hand on your back

You stood, letting her lead you out

Through the Castle and Vineyard, you came up to a house, small enough for a few people

You heard yelling, a familiar voice

"LET US OUT YOU GIANT BITCH!! FUCKIN-"

"Will you shut up? She said, there was someone here we knew."

"HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE-"

You rushed to the door, kicking it down

"OW!! GOTDAMN IT!!"

Tears welled up in your eyes again

"LUCAS? ZOE!? UNCLE JOE!!"

They were speechless as well

What a happy family reunion!

Tears and hugs were given

Joe stood up, from hugging you three, to look at Alcina, "Thank you from keeping my youngest (niece/nephew) safe."

Alcina looked away, "No need to thank me, human. I didn't care for any of you, but I knew this would make them happy."

Angie and Donna Beneviento

Angie noticed that you had been feeling a bit down lately

So she told Donna about it, whom rushed to your side

"My Dear, what's the matter? Angie says your feeling blue."

You looked at her, a sad look in your eyes

"Ah... its nothing really, Love. Im... im just think about my family. I havent really been able to know anything going on with them..."

It really bothered you, and both of the ladies could see that

Donna looked at you and took your hand

"Do you remember how they looked, the last time you saw them?"

You nodded sadly, smiling wistfully

"Yep, Momma was making me a cake, for me finishing off collage. Pops he was rebuilding the old car, with my brother Lucas. And Zoe, she and I were playing in the front yard, supposing to do chores."

Donna nodded, and a bit of pollen began to swirl around you both

You sat up straight, it was your family

The Baker's, as you knew them

They were happy to see you

It made your heart burst, and you smiled

Tears falling down your cheeks, as your family gathered around you and Donna hugging you both

It felt good to see them, even though you knew it really wasn't them

Donna wiped your tears, and you sighed contently

Starting a conversation with your "mother" and "father"

Your "siblings" talking to Angie and Donna

A few hours later the pollen wore off

But you where happy, and turned to Donna

Giving her a kiss, "Thank you. I dont know what's happened to them... but that was good for me. I appreciate it."

But Donna didn't smile back, and Angie grew quiet

"Your family. They... your parents are dead..."

You looked at her, shocked, "How-"

"Mother Miranda has said that their one with the mold..."

You took that information in, knowing about your parents... was a bit of a... surprise

"And my brother and sister?"

Donna shook her head, smiling, "Alive and safe from that."

You smiled and thanked her again with a kiss

You may not be able to see them, in real life, but you COULD see them all as you remembered them

Salvatore Moreau

You had told Salvatore all about your home life, before moving to the village

He had asked about your family, trying to compare his own with yours

You sympathetically told him that you and your siblings ACTUALLY got alone

And that your family was always tight

Your mother cooked badass meals

And your dad was always the person to run to for the best advice and protection

Your brother was a delinquent genius

And your sister was always happy to just be there for you

While his "family" left alot to be desired

You had pictures of them, which you shared

He looked at them with wonder, seeing how happy you were

This is when he decided to get them, well the alive ones

His Cadou experiments had changed

Making them more human, to infiltrate the regular world and kidnap your family

He surprised you one day

Encouraging you to go for a moonlit walk with him

Yelling was coming from a nearby cave

"Moreau, Love. I dont-"

"Its not, my most Precious. I swear, you will love this surprise."

You gave him a frown and let him continue to lead you on

Inside the cave, you where met with 3 cages

Joe, Lucas and Zoe!

Your jaw dropped, and Moreau clapped happily as you rushed and unlocked the cages

Embracing your family, though Joe pulled away ready to blast Moreau away

After a long explanation, your family accepted the fish man as their own

Moreau was careful to hid your family from Mother Miranda

Sadly, he couldn't save your mother and father, but the rest of your family were safe in his domain

Karl Heisenberg

You both were having dinner when he asked you about your birth name

"Oh. It's Baker... I think. I was adopted by them."

"Adopted? Hope they treated you better than that bitch, Miranda." He scoffed

You laughed, assuring him that they did

Then you went into stories about your family

As you finished up a story about you and Lucas dodging the cops and taking quite the ass whoopin from Jack

You noticed Heisenberg narrowing his eyes at the names in the story

"Jack... Marguerite.... Zoe... Lucas... Joe..." he grumbled letting the names roll off of his tongue

Then he stood up, and looked at you

"THEM BAKERS!?"

You jumped at his outburst, then nodding slowly at him

"HOLY SHIT!! THEIR- Well the kids and uncle still live." He told you

You looked at him like he had gone absolutely mad

"What are you talking about, Karl?"

He sat back down, holding both your hands in his, looking you in the eyes

He was serious when he did this

Karl explained to you about the mold and what happened in Louisiana, a couple years ago

"Miranda had a file on them. I dont know how the hell she got it, but I managed to take a peek at it. I had no idea you were one of them."

You sat back in your chair, processing the information

"My... my siblings and uncle are ok?" You huffed with relief

Karl nodded, pulling you into a hug, comforting you

You fell into his embrace, "Thank you for telling me..."

Heisenberg let out a hum and rubbed your back

You opened your mouth to speak

"No." He cut you off, "im not going. And im not sending anyone. You KNOW what Miranda planning..."

You nodded, and buried your face in his chest

You were happy that they would be safe from her

But sad that you may never see them

Heisenberg had a plan for you to be saved as well

[secretsolarsystem]

❛ that’s how you want me, isn’t it? desperate, jealous, and willing to kill for you. ❜👀

I HAVE BEEN FROTHING AT THE MOUTH TO WRITE THIS!!!! this quote is so gotdamn sexy bestie, it’s so *chef’s kiss* thank you SO much for sending it in!!!

I hope you enjoy this canon-divergent, Sith!Obi-Wan (my beloved), Jedi!Anakin, (literal) seduction to the dark side, non-graphic depictions of injury and a dead body, slightly spicy, 2.2k >:))

—

Once, Yoda had told Anakin that fear was the path to the Dark Side. “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering,” he had said. Anakin wasn’t really sure about all that, but the old master was onto something with the suffering part.

Because Anakin was. Suffering. And it was getting harder and harder not to Fall.

He just didn’t know if he’d Fall because he’d give into Obi-Wan Kenobi, or if he’d use the power of the Dark Side to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi. Because Obi-Wan Kenobi was the one making him suffer.

Okay, maybe saying that he was suffering was a bit dramatic. But Anakin didn’t know how else to describe how he felt in his current situation. He’d been kidnapped – kidnapped! – by Kenobi, which was unsurprising but still pretty messed up. Anakin, the Hero With No Fear, the Force’s Chosen One, the Jedi Order’s beloved (maybe that was Anakin’s way of putting it but the sentiment remained) knight and general being kidnapped by Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sith Lord and the most charming and beautiful scum of the earth was not a shocking turn of events, all considered.

But just because Anakin was unsurprised did not mean he was having a good time with it. Who would, what with how possessive and seductive Kenobi was being the whole time? He always had his hands on Anakin, on his wrists or his arms or his shoulders or his waist or somewhere near his neck. And when he talked to him, his voice was always low and his smile sharp and his golden eyes dark. 

All that attention always on Anakin. It was great. Wait! No, it was terrible! Yes, it was terrible. Not great. Not great at all. Not even a little bit. (Maybe a little bit.) (Wait-!)

And Kenobi was always saying the same thing. “Join me” this and “Embrace the power of the Dark Side” that and “Sometimes I want to shut you up with my cock, get those pretty pink lips around it, but then I wouldn’t get to hear you finally call me ‘Master’ and I just don’t know if I like that.”

(That last one had only been said once, but a similar sentiment frequently came up. Anakin had heard of people being seduced by the Dark Side, but not of being seduced to the Dark Side.

And was it working? No, it wasn’t working. Except, well, Anakin kind of liked the idea of the man’s cock down his throat. Wait! No! No he didn’t. Didn’t he? No…) 

(But couldn’t he do that without Falling? Who said you yourself had to be a Sith to suck a Sith’s cock? But no! It didn’t matter! Anakin wasn’t going to do that!)

What was a bit surprising was how long Kenobi had managed to keep him. It had to have been weeks by now, and that was bad, because the longer Anakin was with Kenobi the longer he became acclimated to it. Accustomed to it. Appreciative of- No! Not that last one...

Like now, as Kenobi led him off the ship and onto the platform. Kenobi had said they needed to go to a different planet to see about some Mirialan with a stolen holocron, and Anakin simply went because Kenobi saying “We need to go somewhere” and ‘we’ and meaning himself and Anakin was something that now made absolute sense to Anakin. And it also sounded very nice. No! Not nice-

Plus, Kenobi had put Force-inhibitor cuffs on Anakin’s wrists and taken Anakin’s lightsaber, so he didn’t really have another choice. He could – and would – snark about it, but that was about it.

He was used to doing what Kenobi said at this point. He kind of liked it. No he didn’t!

“Thank you for coming along, darling,” Kenobi sighed, leading Anakin into the building by a hand on his elbow.

“As if either of us have a choice,” Anakin huffed. “Where you go, I go, and you go wherever Dooku points and says, ‘Sick ‘em, boy!’”

Kenobi hummed, trailing his hand down to run a finger along one of the cuffs on Anakin’s wrist, smiling at him with all his teeth. “I like that, the part about you going where I do. It sounds like I’ve got you well trained.”

Anakin stopped walking to frown at the man. “You’re the trained one here. That’s what I was saying.”

Kenobi brought his hand up to run a thumb along Anakin’s protruding bottom lip, making Anakin stick it out even further. In offense. Not to get the man to keep his finger there, or maybe shove it in his mouth. Nope. Just to show his displeasure at the whole situation. “That pout’s going to get you in trouble one day, sweetheart.”

“What are you gonna do?” Anakin challenged, lips moving against Kenobi’s finger as it stayed where it was. “Put me in handcuffs?” He held up his wrists, as if to say, How could it get worse than this?

Kenobi’s golden eyes sparkled. And then he nodded.

Anakin blushed. “Well I hope they’re more fun than these ones,” he muttered, turning his face forward once more, successfully and unfortunately moving his lips away from Kenobi’s finger.

Undeterred, Kenobi put his hand on the small of Anakin’s back as he pushed him to resume walking. “Of course, darling. I’m going to have nothing but fun with you.”

Thankfully, Anakin did not have to come up with an answer to that, because they entered a room in which the Mirialan stood. Her tattoos were stark against her green skin, and Anakin felt a pang of homesickness, thinking of Luminara and her padawan. Why hadn’t anyone come for him? Why wasn’t he home?

(Should he also be asking himself why he hadn’t escaped? He probably could. He was Anakin fucking Skywalker.

But he didn’t want to ponder on the question and come to the conclusion that maybe he just didn’t want to. Because he did! He did…)

“Thank you very much for meeting us, my dear,” Kenobi said, giving her his most charming smile. Anakin couldn’t help but frown. After weeks of being the only recipient of such names and smiles, it felt wrong to witness Kenobi bestow them on someone else, someone he didn’t even know, someone he didn’t even want. 

(He didn’t want her, did he? Anakin didn’t care. Just as long as Kenobi wanted and kept Anakin. No, wait. He didn’t care, period. Yeah. That one sounded right. That one was right. That one. Yeah.)

“Why did you bring a Jedi here?” the Mirialan spat, looking over Anakin with an expression of pure disgust.

Well I don’t like you very much either, Anakin huffed internally, looking down his nose at the woman. He shivered, though, when Kenobi moved his hand up to rest where Anakin’s neck met his shoulder.

“Can’t leave the darling at home,” he said with a sigh and a smile. “He’ll tear the place to bits unsupervised, naughty thing that he is.”

Anakin shivered again at being talked about like he wasn’t there and like he was some sort of pet. But it was an angry shiver. Not one of lust or want or anything like that. Angry!

The Mirialan hummed as though in understanding. “Not surprised. Their kind are quite inconsiderate of other people’s spaces.”

Sensing Anakin’s quite obvious displeasure, Kenobi lifted his hand to scratch behind Anakin’s ear. “Yes, but there is no other like my Anakin, I can assure you.”

While Anakin all but purred at the words and the touch – or, uh, growled, very meanly and unhappily – the Mirialan rolled her eyes. “They’re all the same. My parents were smart enough to realize that. They’re the only reason I was never inducted into their cult. And this,” she held up the holocron, “is going to bring them back, right?”

Anakin frowned. Many Mirialans were Force-sensitive, but Anakin wondered why her parents would refuse her training at the Temple. Well, they obviously saw the Order as a “cult,” as she said, but he wondered how they got that idea. Jedi were peacekeepers made soldiers, protecting the Republic and all of its people.

“Correct,” Kenobi agreed, eyeing the holocron. “With the proper usage.”

“Which you’ll show me?” she pressed, holding the holocron tighter to herself. 

Kenobi hummed. “You are quite strong in the Force, young one. I could feel that the moment I entered the building,” he said thoughtfully, removing his hand from Anakin entirely to step towards her. Anakin’s whole being rioted at the loss, at the distance growing between them as it closed between Kenobi and the Mirialan. “All of that power, untapped and untrained. I could just show you how to use the holocron and bring back your parents, but I can also show you so much more. If you’d pledge yourself to me-”

Anakin had heard enough. He heard enough to grit his teeth and rush forward, grabbing Kenobi’s lightsaber off of his belt and igniting it. As best he could with his cuffed hands and his vision blurred by rage, he swung the red blade, hearing the Mirialan’s loud cry before he heard her hands – and the holocron with them – fall to the floor, severed from her body which fell soon after.

Shaking with anger, Anakin held the blade mere inches from her neck. He turned away from her writhing form to look at Kenobi with wild, narrowed eyes. How dare he offer to be her master? Kenobi was Anakin’s master. He was Anakin’s!

“Well this is a shocking turn of events,” Kenobi said. He said it with an air of nonchalance, but Anakin could see the blush on the man’s cheeks and the way the corner of his lips twitched, fighting a smile. A pleased smile. A victorious smile. The smile of a man who had gotten exactly what he wanted.

“Is it, Master?” Anakin spat, and he noticed the shiver that ran through Kenobi at the title falling from his lips. “This isn’t exactly what you wanted? You didn’t want me to take your lightsaber and dismember this innocent person? For what, your entertainment? Your pleasure?”

“Letting you do something and making you do something are very different,” Kenobi countered, crossing his arms and raising his brow.

The Mirialan grunted in pain and Anakin hissed at her to shut up, keeping his eyes on Kenobi. Always on Kenobi. “You don’t think that calling someone else ‘my dear’ and praising them for their power and offering to take them on as your apprentice would make me do this?” 

Anakin paused to laugh, because he simply had to. He’d just chopped someone’s hands off because they might have become Obi-Wan Kenobi’s. Because the man might have taken them on as his Sith apprentice, and not Anakin. Anakin wasn’t a Sith, and he wouldn’t be one. He didn’t have to Fall to be Kenobi’s, did he?

“This was your plan,” Anakin said. “Maybe not the plan, but the preferred outcome. Because that’s how you want me, isn’t it? Desperate, jealous, and willing to kill for you.”

Kenobi’s gold eyes were swallowed by pupil. “Would you?”

“Would I what?” Anakin growled.

“Kill, for me?”

Scoffing, Anakin turned and flicked his wrists, easily cutting into the Mirialan’s chest and finally shutting her up. Her writhing seized as her body fell limp, lifeless.

Dead. Killed, for Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, who threw the lightsaber out of Anakin’s hands with the Force and disengaged it before it hit the ground. Before Anakin could fully process the missing weight from his hands, Kenobi rushed forward, throwing himself to the ground on top of Anakin’s body, which fell backwards next to the Mirialan’s.

And before Anakin could express how much he did not want to be right next to a dead body, Kenobi’s lips were on his and Kenobi’s hands were on his waist and Kenobi’s tongue was in his mouth and Kenobi Kenobi Kenobi-

“Kenobi,” Anakin gasped into the man’s mouth, chasing his lips. He tasted like deathsticks and tea and Anakin had never smoked in his life but he was addicted to Kenobi’s kisses, and Anakin hated tea but he would gladly lick it off the man’s tongue any time.

Kenobi bit Anakin’s lip. “Say it,” he demanded, pressing himself into Anakin’s body fully. Even though it made Anakin’s back press uncomfortably on the floor below him, Kenobi’s chest was pressed hard onto his own and their hips rolled against each other and Anakin could feel Kenobi’s erection rubbing against his own and- and-

And he couldn’t do anything but obey, even if it meant pulling his tongue back into his own mouth to rasp out, “Master.”

“Yes,” Kenobi hissed, thrusting his hips with more force, jostling Anakin’s body so vigorously Anakin could feel himself being inched closer and closer to the body laying next to them. “My apprentice, my Anakin.”

Anakin’s whole mind, body, and soul agreed, a constant chant of yours yours yours ringing out in his mind as he shoved his tongue back into Kenobi’s mouth, where it belonged.

He understood, now. Maybe this was his Fall, to the Dark or into Kenobi or something. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe he really could still be in the Light and be Kenobi’s. But he knew that if he were to ever lose Kenobi, if they were to ever be separated – that would be true suffering, and nothing would stop him from using every bit of Dark power at his disposal to get his master back.

Because as much as he was Obi-Wan Kenobi’s, Obi-Wan Kenobi’s was his.

from this prompt list prompted fics collection on ao3

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 250

Next day

Amber

"Hello." I say after getting  5 phone calls from my father in the last 3 hours. "Is everything okay?"

"I heard that there had been a fire out in California."

I blow. "Stop watching the news. I'm not even in California."

"Doesn't Chris stay in Everlakes?"

"You made that up. No."

He blows. "Figured he would have been burned to death."

"Wow." I roll my eyes. "Okay, bye."

"Bye, baby. Glad you are safe."

I shake my head. "Chris is not that bad. You do too much."

"Speaking off Chris. He's planning something top secret for you. Hope it's not a damn proposal."

"Wow. You must have been sipping the grape juice at church. Bye, now."

He blows again. "Love you, sweetheart."

I toss my phone at the couch. He knows he should do better. That was fucking rude as shit. My dad never been so mean towards Chris. I don't know where it suddenly came from. He must have some ancient stone age technique for predicting the future. Too bad Chris already asked me to marry him and we already having a baby. I roll my eyes. He really pissed me off in the middle of this ridiculous video shoot. I'm ready to fucking go.

"Baby!" Someone yells.

Everyone looks around. A few people keep looking. Everyone else goes back to work. I stand up trying to get a view of what they see. It's a shit load of balloons floating from a pair of skinny ass legs and Jordan's. I sigh. It's my loose end.

"Baby!"

"Chris." I say.

"Bae!" He says sitting the balloons on the floor. "I love you."

I hit the get well soon balloon. "Christopher, I'm not sick."

He kisses my cheek. "Sick of my shit. I'm sorry, okay."

"Okay."

"I got dinner reservations."

I stare at him. "Is my father coming or something?"

"Damn." He says staring at me confused.

"I'm not a witch. My father called."

Chris shrugs his shoulders. "He couldn't wait 20 minutes? Gotdamn."

"He been calling for hours."

"But I just talked to him."

I shrug shoulder. "Called about a California fire."

Chris shakes his head. "Damn, he pissed and he don't know it's about a baby. Might fucking kill me then."

"Nevermind that."

"I figured that as soon as one of my exs get wind of you being... you know that it will be leaked. Minus well tell your parents today. Trey wrote me a speech. I forgot it."

"Trey, huh?"

Chris kisses my cheek. "Yeah. I know you got a lot of shit to handle before you have to take a break. I know you might not be ready to be Chris Brown whatever. You know? I just want you happy with this baby. And happy for us."

"Listen to my stomach." I say rubbing my belly.

"How the fuck you gonna ignore me?" Chris snaps loudly.

I touch his face then start rubbing it. "We need to talk."

"What the fuck about?" He spats still drawing attention.

"Nothing if you keep fucking acting like a stupid dickhead!" I yell. I blow my face up then inhale. I blow it out slowly. Then say in a calm voice. "Christopher we have a secret. Are we in a place to talk about that?"

Chris throws his hands up then looks around. "You didn't say that."

"We stating obvious shit?" I cover my mouth. "Can we stop talking til we talk? Damn."

"Yeah." He says salty walking away.

I call Cammie. "Where are you when I need you bitch?"

She giggles. I suck my teeth. It's not Cammie.

"You the bitch." MiMi says.

"Where my best friend?" I say then suck my teeth. "Anyway I'm not in a playing mood."

"What's wrong, Bae?" Cammie asks.

I sigh. "How I supposed to connect with this nigga like this?"

She giggles. "I was bout to say fuck him. Now is not the time."

"That's what I wanna tell him." I snap.

"But he not gonna handle that well at all."

"Now we all going in fucking circles. Fucking circus clowns."

She sucks her teeth. "Bae I never been in a stable relationship while pregnant. MiMi come talk to her. You was in a relationship through your pregnancy. Oh yeah."

"What she say?" I ask.

"She said that me and her were not good while she was pregnant. Okay Bae just go ahead and apologize for all the stupid arguments yall bout to have. Cause baby I don't fuck with Chris like that when I'm pregnant."

I blow. "He did something sweet and my ass like so. You did what should have been done. Then my fucking daddy tripping. I ain't ready to hear that mouth."

Cammie sucks her teeth. "It ain't his business so he just better be glad he finding out."

"Thank you for that perspective." I nod.

"And another thing... we go around here talking about a name and what it fucking means. Fuck what other people think about you and your name. It ain't like your ass some lightskinned big ass fluffy hair ass bitch. The world gone shit on your name regardless cause they ain't happy with them fucking selves. Fuck a name. Fuck fame cause the same bitches giving that shit out the ones fucking judging your ass."

"Okay." I say frowning. "We still talking bout me?"

She sucks her teeth. "If the shoe fits."

"I miss you."

"I don't want to hear it. I been in this house all week with just Caden. Nobody fucking loved me then."

I giggle. She already knows I have to take breaks from her shit. Then I fucking miss her ass and her damn dysfunctional family. I roll my eyes at the director of the video. He has been signaling for me to come finish the shit. I feel like I'm finished.

"I need to write Chris a letter."

"Good idea so you can say what you need without that attitude."

I stand up from my chair. "Can someone find out if Chris is still here?"

"He is right there." A girl says pointing across the warehouse room.

"Oh." I say walking away. "Bae I might call and tell you what's up. A big fat ass maybe."

"That fine. Your ass not a real friend anyway."

I smile then hang up. Even if she didn't solve my problems she reminded me that fucking people not perfect. I'm not completely ready for this baby. It's scary but the shit is okay. The flip side could be so much worst. Having a baby with your long time friend aint top of the chart drama. Only thing fills it with drama is Chris name. Everything is fucking good.

MiMi

I walk into the den where the big TV is. Of course I would find Devin in here. He is sitting there eating with King at his feet. King jumps up when he sees me and run over to me. He is the cutest little baby. I hug him back. He hugs my leg.

"The ref cheating." He says.

"The ref cheating?" I giggle.

He sits back down and starts eating. "Yeap. Bullshit play."

I sit next to Devin and watch the game a bit. King jumps up throwing his hands in the air as the referee walks into the middle of the field. Devin laughs a bit with his mouth full.

"That no out of bounds!" King snaps. "Bullshit."

"Does he know what he talking about?" I frown.

Devin smirks. "He a bit hard on the refs but yeah. He caught it before he went out of bounds."

I shake my head. "Kids are so different. JJ would never."

"Naw he wouldn't."

"I'm sorry." I say as the commercial comes on. "I know you did a lot to get us here. I know I can't live like Cammie cause she married a millionaire. Like I don't try to keep up with her. I just really wanna be on this show and the anticipation is making me a wreck. It would be nice to be recognized."

Devin kisses my cheek. "You'll get your 15 minutes Bae. You just not a dedicated dancer like Cammie."

"Yeah."

"Aye." He says kissing me again. "Stop that shit. You could've been dancing in Chris Brown concerts and videos too. Yeah? Hell he would put your fine ass in one right now. You want me to ask?"

I shake my head. "No. I just wanted to say thank you."

Devin gets in my face. "You haven't been putting yourself out there to get recognized. If thats what you want then you need to get to work."

"I don't want to over do it. You know like wearing a white prom dress to someone wedding."

"Naw, I missed that one." He frowns cutting his eyes at the game.

"They took him out." King snaps.

Devin looks at me. "What you want? Your own dance studio?"

"I don't know. I don't think so."

"Maybe post some new dance videos."

I sigh. "I plan on doing some closer to the airing of the show."

"Put some out of you and Cammie now. So that way if she blow up people will search her and find you."

"Piggyback off her attention?"

Devin kisses me turning to the TV. "Yeah. Yo! What the fuck was that?"

"Real football." King snaps.

"Naw man." Devin says like King an adult.

King was responding like a little man. "That's how it done."

"Get out of here." Devin says blowing.

"Sorry team." King retorts. "Cheating ref."

"Whatever lil nigga. We don't need to cheat to win. You bout to see some real football."

"Bullshit." King throws his hands up.

"I know you not." Cammie says from the door. "You getting too into that football game. You forgot who house you at?"

King sits down. "No maam."

"You can watch football without cursing. Yall sitting up here letting him curse."

"Oh." Devin sits up. "I thought that was you Tyga."

King cuts his eyes at Devin. "You team suck."

Cammie rolls her eyes. "King that's your team?"

"Yes. They win. They play real football."

"Okay." Cammie giggles then leaves out.

JJ comes into the room carrying a bag with Chick-fil-A on it. I roll my eyes. He stands in front of the TV watching it. He eats a fry like he too into the TV. The ref throws a flag again sending King into a rage. He seems to understand when his team gets the flag thrown on them. How old is this baby? JJ laughs about it then goes to Devin.

"Daddy where you been?"

"I was at home boy. Where you been?"

JJ digs in the bag. "Grandma Joy sent me hot fries."

"Let me see." Devin says digging in the bag. "Yo where he get these?"

"Joyce had them delivered." I roll my eyes. "He has a gift card and a debit card in his suitcase. I don't know what's on it or what it is for."

JJ gets in Devins way of the game on purpose. "Daddy?"

"Son." Dee says looking around him. "Man fuck this game."

"Cause it how you play." King snaps.

Devin changes the channel. King comes over to JJ's bag not caring about the game getting turned off. I must have missed the end or something. King starts crying. JJ looks at the door. Not me or Devin his fucking parents. He looks at the damn door. He digs in the bag giving King a fry. King wanted to get his own fry so he goes digging in the bag. JJ dashes out the room. He not sharing no more fries obviously.

"Monk?" Devin says touching my thigh. "I walk around here trying to make you happy with material shit. That ain't what you about."

"I'm not."

He kisses my thigh. "I'll be your cameraman. Get you a group of troubled teens that you can teach."

"I wanna be in a movie."

"The pretty only black girl?"

I chuckle. "No like a stomp the yard or save the last dance."

"Ghetto. You fucking ghetto."

"I'm just gonna focus on this show. You've done enough. Okay?"

He kisses my thigh again. "Alright."

"Bae, let's go." Cammie says walking in the room.

"Where?" I move Devin.

Cammie hands me a bag. "Studio. Trey has the kids."

"All of them?"

"Hurry before he realizes it's King, JJ, and Lane too."

Devin sucks his teeth. "Hell naw."

I get up and run. Devin about to start with his insecure shit. He annoying with that shit like I'm the one cheats on him. I'm going to remember to check everything of his because he too persistent with the acquisitions. It's usually him cheating and reflecting.

"I need this." I say getting in the car.

"Bae, I'm so sick of Caden's shit. He glued to me. Won't let me do nothing."

"Minnie before Trey. Devin won't keep her cause he too busy worrying about me fucking somebody. I'm playing detective when we get home. He suddenly super husband fulfilling my every need."

"Yeah we'll see." Cammie huffs.

[b1ksh88p]

Be Mine Chapter 3

Plot: A storm is brewing in Valentine, and you’re in the middle of it. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen Harry and there’s already been a horrendous murder. With tensions high and everyone finger pointing your ex, Edmund, makes everything worse by spreading gossip. With the sting of rejection still weighing heavy on your heart you attempt to clear everything up only to make things worse.

Describing your mood as sour would be a understatement. You were numb. A grey cloud loomed over your usual cheery exterior as you went through day to day activities. Whenever someone asked if you were alright you’d chalk it up to trivial excuses. When in actuality you were torn that you’d been stupid enough to try and have a picnic with a killer. If you were sane maybe you’d tell the Sheriff and get some of his boys in uniform to smoke Harry out somehow but you had no taste for revenge. All you wanted was to move on.

But it seemed your ex had other plans. You worked in the diner, usually taking up the night shifts to rid yourself of boredom. As you were cleaning a table you overheard a couple chatting away about you of all topics. Why your name was in their mouths you didn’t know but from what you got out of it made you want to raise hellfire.

“I heard she goes down there every night to see that killer.”

“Edmund said that the sherif saw her go in with food and came out empty handed.”

“No way, maybe she’s a killer.”

There’s no way you could allow these two peons spread such outlandish babble. You’ve never killed anyone nor would you ever. The thought of murdering another made you sick to your stomach. “Edmund is a long-nosed good for nothing asshole who spends his time making up calumniations and dumping his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day for a dumb blonde with a baby voice. You two and the rest of your bubble headed friends would be fools to believe anything that comes out his mouth.” You finish with a astute turn into the back for a extensive smoke break.

If you saw Edmund or that sleazy sheriff you’d be sure to give them a piece of your mind. And speak of the devil, there he was. Your blood was replaced with boiling water as you stomped your way towards him. He was with the sherif and some other random cop you didn’t know. Both of them saw you coming and started to drift apart before you whistle and jogged towards the two snakes.

“Where we going boys? Running away from the new killer of the town?”

“Now listen Y/N I didn’t mean to start anything.” The sheriff assured.

You weren’t impressed. “You’re just the last one seen in the mines so...it makes sense.” Edmund shrugged.

“And you were the last one fucking the blonde bimbo you cheated on me with and she has crabs....so it makes sense right?” You snap back garnering a chortle from the other cop.

“It’s not my fault you’re a boring bitch who can’t get anyone to date you except for some psycho?!” He growled.

“I’m not dating anyone and I’m not a killer. Instead of gossiping like little girls how about you three go investigate and find the real killer.” You throw down the cigarette and stomp it out beneath your heel.

“We apologize if we’ve caused you any trouble Miss, we’re doing the best we can.” The Sheriff whispered.

“Keep my name out your ass licking mouths and out the fucking paper.” You demand before walking back inside the diner.

After your shift you began to walk home. The ominous glow of streetlights did little to scare you. On your way to you lovely home you stopped by the liquor store. A bit tipsy you ventured the winding fucked up roads. The quiet sounds of the night were ruined by the sounds of sirens. It had been what? 72 hours and some change since the last murder what the hell could the coppers be speeding for? Even in your mildly drunken stupor you noticed where they were heading. The mines. Sober you would’ve kept walking like any sane person but you were running on anger, worry, and rum. A mix that didn’t bode well when making good decisions.

You knew a shortcut through the trees and made haste. By the time you fought through flora and fauna two cars were already there. The sheriff and Edmund were there holding lanterns and guns. You step out from behind the trees, face bathed in red and blue lights. Softly stepping towards the shit show. “What the fuck are you two asswipes doing?!” You call out as you make your way to the entrance of the mine. Before they can stop you you’re in front of the cold entrance.

“You protecting your boyfriend again?” Edmund spat as he loaded his gun.

“You don’t have a gotdamn clue who killed those two. It takes you dumb mother fuckers months to even get close to closing a case!”

“We know he’s down there Y/N and he’s gonna fucking burn for what he did. And if you gotta burn with him so fucking be it!” He aimed the gun at you which almost made you piss yourself. You stumble back as he aims it at you. The thumping of your heart beat in your ears.

“I’m not you enemy! And neither is he!” Your words were bold but hoarse.

“That son of a bitch killed family. I don’t care what you think he’s going to die, and if I have to shoot you to get to him I fucking will!” The sheriffs attempts to calm down Edmund were futile. He had his eyes on you. They were large and red and full of rage. He looked like a rabid animal and you his prey.

“...You’re angry I get that but this is a mob attack not a lawful pick up. You have no evidence-“

“DONT GIVE ME A FUCKING LESSON IN LAW BITCH I AM THE FUCKING LAW!” He shot at the ground beneath your feet sending dirt into your eyes. The muffled scolding from the sheriff did nothing to stop your beating heart. In fact there were bigger problems.

Another shot cracked through the night sending you to the ground covering your head. The grotesque sound of choking made you gag. The Sheriff was on the ground, clambering hands grabbing at the gaping hole in his chest as he bled out. Edmund was in shock. He held the man’s dead hand with wide eyes. Perfect time to get away. You book it into the mines. It was dark and cold, even chillier with a fresh murderer on your heels. At first you didn’t hear him but a shot echoed through the caves followed by some demands for you and Harry to reveal yourselves. That wasn’t happening so you keep running, ducking into random corridors to try and throw him off your trail.

Apart of you was afraid of running into Harry. What if he was angry at you? Running into one killer to escape the other was a chance you really didn’t want to take. You’d rather wait it out and hide. Hopefully Harry would take care of Edmund and you could run away without interacting with either of them. You stop running to hide in a old mining cart that was turned over. Covering your mouth with shaking hands you listen. A heavy set of footsteps past you, Edmund more than likely. It wasn’t like Harry to be so loud. He taunted what you assumed were the shadows to face him like a real man. He didn’t really see him right? You wish you could peek but you were far to afraid you’d get your head blown off.

“So that’s what you look like. Y’know it’s crazy. You don’t look like a monster.” He cocked the gun. “Tell me how you did it. How you killed my dad you fucking monster.” He demanded.

There was no response on Harry’s end. You hear something fall to the ground and then Edmund’s smug laughter. What the hell was going on? You quietly peak from out your hiding space. The minimal lighting made the scene hard to make out but by the looks of it Harry had...given up. He had thrown his pick axe ahead of him, taken off the mask, and dropped to his knees. A gloved hand on the barrel of the gun pointing it to his head. You couldn’t believe your eyes. Was he insane? Edmund goes into a end game spill about how long he’s waited to do this. How he’d pin the Sheriff’s and I’s murder on Harry and walk out the mines a hero. During this you start to crawl towards them, ready to rush him or throw a rock, anything to buy Harry time. Your chest is tight as you hold your breath. Nearing the both of them as quietly as you possibly can. Edmund cocks the gun and says something to the effect of “everyone dies, somebody should’ve take your sorry ass out long ago.” Before you hear a shot.

It hits the ceiling once you use all your might to swing Harry’s pickaxe into Edmund’s head, through his cheek. The blast was so close to Harry he fell back in pain. Edmund leans on the wall holding the left side of his face, still turned away from you. When he does look at you all the blood drains from your body. His tongue hung from the broken jaw like a salivating dog, torn flesh dangled around missing teeth, with so much flesh exposed blood spritzed out every time he moved closer to you. He couldn’t move his jaw so when he spoke it was a gurgled cacophony of rage and disbelief. You lift the pick axe once more but see him lift the shotgun and take aim. This makes you freeze like a deer in headlights. You close your eyes, bracing for impact. But to your surprise it never comes. Instead Harry had gotten up and tackled him, only problem was that he got shot.

The two men fell to the ground. Edmund kicking him off and frantically reaching into his pocket for two more shells. Without thinking you kick the gun from his hands. He tried to get up but you stomp on his chest with all the rage bottled up inside. He looks up at you with that mangled face and large eyes but mercy was the last thing on your mind. You look over him, raise the crude weapon, and allow the cold metal to pierce through his chest. You let out a exasperated scream as you continue your onslaught. Hammering down years of neglect, wasted time, slander, and abuse into what’s left of his broken body. When you’re done he’s left torn apart. Rib cage broken and organs exposed. In all the madness you vomit from the stress and overall exertion of energy you used up. The groans from Harry snap you back to reality and you go to aid him.

“Oh god oh shit hold on hold on.” You ramble. Your hands try their best to cover the wound. He was shot in the side. Luckily it wasn’t a direct hit but without medical attention it was gonna get nasty. You use Edmund’s jacket to help stop the bleeding. He was just staring at you. “What? What the hell are you gonna yell at me for now???” You yell trying not to cry. He lifts a bloody hand to your face.

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z

[m4nicfx4ti0n5]

TITANS 3x8

top five worst episodes so far. like, in the entire series. and that’s saying something.

so much information thrown at us without proper context, foreshadowing, or build up. poorly written and directed. felt like the actors were just vibing instead of actively tapping into the emotion of their characters (with a good director, they could have guided them out of this and created an environment that encouraged the actors to immerse). weird sequencing and half-assed explanations??? (i.e. how exactly did starfire shooting a concentrated bolt at Crane inadvertently shoot up gotham? like it’s there but it’s vague and I see it if I twist my head to the side and squint, but...it’s always “we got em! oh no! just kidding! they tricked us! 😤 and that is SO TIRED BY NOW THEY NEED TO SWITCH IT UP)

Also, let me say this: in my first writing class in college @ one of the top writing schools in the US, our instructor taught us about the Deus Ex Machina, which is Latin for “From the hand of the gods.” In writing, it refers to moments when something divine happens for a character just in the nick of time, whether negative or positive. For example, it’s a huge chase scene in an action film. The protagonist busts through the window of a random car and OMG! The car keys are in the glove compartment! Unrealistic and damn fucking convenient. My instructor warned us against this. It’s a sign of lazy writing, using this device instead of your own plot to drive the story forward and explain the circumstances of a moment.

Yet here I am five years later watching a show on HBO produced by one of the top two comic enterprises in the WORLD that actively employs this technique as a plot device instead of ACTUALLY investing in the movement of their story. FIRST, they did it with Donna Troy dying AFTER every threat had been apprehended in season 2. Like, she just dies for no damn reason besides the writers wanting to introduce Troy in season 3. It was shitty and there is absolutely NO REASON why Slade shouldn’t have been the one to kill her. Ugh.

AND THEN, they do it again here! Dick Grayson on a motor bike. He almost has Jason Todd in the palm of his hand! But oh no! He GETS HIT BY A GOTDAMN SUV. If that car was related to Crane at ALL, if it was PLANNED, if they were trapping him then?! GOOD WRITING! The fact that he gets hit by a car for the sole purpose of slowing down the process of catching Jason?! BAD. WRITING. LAZY MOTHERFUXKING WRITING. I’M FUCKING TIRED.

Connor and Blackfire sleeping together, Tim just magically showing up at Wayne manor, and haphazardly starting the episode with Gar and Molly loosely chatting without any concrete set up?????? (a scene that had SO MUCH potential btw), only to end said scene with a fucking TITANS SIGNAL...

mind you, I was fully crossfaded watching this. it still sucked. I’m taking a nap.

why, why, WHY do I do this to myself every week????!!!!!

[ooops-i-arted]

(No spoilers here since I'm sure you haven't watched Ch14 att of this ask) But what did you think of S2E6 from a child development/Din's Dad skill's perspective?

One of the most interesting things to me is that we’re starting to get hints that Grogu is more developed than previously indicated, possibly more like a preschooler than a toddler.  It’s been mentioned that he’s been “trained” (although we don’t know what that entails yet*) and Gideon, interestingly, talks directly to Grogu like a person who is capable of understanding him.  The only other people who have really done this are Din (his caretaker) and Ahsoka (who is able to communicate with him via the Force).  Does Gideon know something we don’t about Grogu/his species/his development?  Or was he just desperate to monologue at someone and Grogu was his only available victim?

*Very curious what this “training” consists of.  It’s honestly borderline age-inappropriate to have formal lessons like you usually think of having at school at such a young age; children learn through play.  Meditation I can see, especially as a self-soothing or calm down tool that would be vital for children that can potentially kill you with their mind, but I wonder what else Grogu was taught at the Temple.  Maybe we’ll get more clarification when we find out exactly what he was trying to do at the seeing stone.

Anyway wasn’t that opening cockpit scene the cutest???  What a far cry from their first few scenes, where Din wouldn’t let the baby play with the orb or the buttons.  They’ve really gotten so close and comfortable with each other; no wonder Grogu doesn’t want to leave his daddy!  (Also Din has leveled up that Dad Voice; contrast “give me the ball” with “you stay right here, you stay, don’t move.”)  Also I loved Din narrating everything he was doing and thinking.  I model for my students like this all the time.  Din seems to have realized the importance of explaining things to the kid and even craves the connection and communication.  I really felt like while Din doesn’t want to give Grogu up at all, he would rather do what he believes is best for his child, rather than selfishly keep him, but he doesn’t want Grogu to feel abandoned or that Din doesn’t care about him.  So even though he’s not good at explaining that, he tries.  And Grogu in turn seems reluctant to do Jedi Stuff, knowing it will lead to Leaving Dad, but still does it anyway because Din wants him to, and kids want to please adults they care about.  Anything for that sweet, sweet positive reinforcement and praise (which Din gives).

Also maybe it’s just me, but something about the way Din said “I can’t train you” just gave me the vibe that maybe he’d thought about it?  Desperately Space Googled anything on the Holonet about How To Train Your Weird Green Magic Kid to see if maybe he could do it and find a way to keep him AND give Grogu the best education possible?  But ended up still resolving that he was gonna do what was truly best for the kid, even if it wasn’t what Din wanted for himself.  Cuz HE LOVES HIS SON SO MUCH.  Many Dad Points gained.

I also loved that Din does not know a single gotdamned thing about the Jedi, but STILL tries to help his son be The Best Jedi Ever by attempting to find a switch or something to help him do Whatever Jedi Stuff He Is Supposed To Be Doing, continuing his trend of being a proud coach from the sidelines for his boy.

Also this is 100% true to life, my students can confirm, one of them does this CONSTANTLY: Din:  okay I need you to do the thing Grogu: *does not do the thing, delays as long as possible* Din:  okay nevermind don’t do the thing it’s time to go on to the next thing Grogu: *immediately does what he was asked*

Which again is “defiance to regain control of the situation” behavior.  I mentioned that last time and I think it’s the same deal - Grogu feels out of control of what’s going on in his life, but it’s safe to act out with Din because he knows Din will not harm him.  So he does as opposed to shutting down.

But of course then he gets kidnapped, which has to be completely and utterly terrifying.  He’s been safe for a while now, with a caretaker who looks after him and makes all the bad and scary things go away.  The last thing he saw, he was safe with Dad.  But then he opens his eyes and there are bad scary droids all around who snatch him up and take him away from Dad!  Of course he is absolutely terrified!

We don’t see what happens between that and him in the cell.  But I’m guessing nothing good.  He’s back with things he associates with fear, violence, and death - stormtroopers and cold Imperial equipment - and he’s all alone.  Even if all that happens is getting dragged to his cell, that has to be overwhelmingly scary even for an adult, let alone a little one who isn’t emotionally mature enough to handle all that fear.

We also don’t know what started the violence we see at the end.  Grogu has not initiated violence onscreen so far; although it’s up to interpretation, even choking Cara was reactive imo (we see him looking scared before he does it, so I’ve always seen that scene as him misunderstanding and thinking Din was in danger).  Personally I’m inclined to think Gideon ordered the troopers to antagonize Grogu to see what he was capable of and to tire him out, but that’s pure speculation at this point.

Either way, this is the most violent we have seen Grogu so far.  Every other instance of Force use is purely practical, aimed to solve the problem at hand.  Mudhorn? Stop it from beating Dad.  Fireball? Push it away from my friends.  Greef’s injured?  Fix it up.  Even choking Cara is arguably just done to stop the “fight” Grogu perceives happening rather than make her suffer.  But these stormtroopers are being thrown, choked, tormented.  It’s not about keeping them away from him or protecting himself, it’s about hurting them.  So to slide over into Force commentary, imo that’s his first potential Dark Side slippage.  Because he’s acting out of fear and anger, not a desire to protect or solve a problem.

And as a general rule, kids don’t go instinctively for true violence.  They may hit and bite and stuff, but it’s a reactive thing to stop something they don’t like rather than truly wanting to hurt the other person.  So Grogu being that intentionally violent?  That’s bad, and not just from a Jedi perspective.  I worked with a very violent student a few years ago and that particular case was because of trauma/abuse in their past.  In Grogu’s case that’s possible, but I also think that for a long time he’s been normalizing violence.  I’m guessing he saw plenty even before Din got him, if he’s a Temple refugee (and has presumably received training about connecting to other Jedi) he possibly felt the death of thousands of other Jedi deeply through the Force, and ever since we’ve known him he has been exposed to LOTS of violence.  Even if Grogu is in his own mind/started out only trying to defend himself, he knows “the person I admire most in the entire galaxy would kill the fuck out of these guys, and then I would be safe, so maybe I should try that too.”  So not very good for Grogu’s psyche at all.  (Oh and on top of all of that, he presumably saw Gideon before, knows this man almost killed his daddy, and is now threatening him.  So a Scary Cherry on the Sundae of Fear.)

There’s a lot to chew on here and we’ll have to see where it goes - personally I hope Grogu can keep himself on the Light Side but I suspect he’s in grave danger right now, not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well.  And even if he gets out, the trauma would realistically have a lasting affect on him.  Din, hurry your butt up and get yourself more Dad Points!

[remy-el-rato]

notes i took during outer banks

i was watching and texting my friend and there are quite a few bits missing

in order:

-BRO JOHN B JUST KISSED KIARA WTF

-jj really got arrested for pope😭😭😭

-they fucking on the dl😭😭

-COLE COLE COLE

-JOHN B JUST FELL

-FUCK TOPPER

-OH MY GOD I-

-i just started episode 6

-so right after ward adopted john b

-ward just disowned rafe 😭😭

-wait cole what happens

-is mrs crain gonna kill them??

-is she blind??

-i think she blind

-lol mrs crain shooting at them with her blind ass

-HE JUST FUCKING TACKLED HER LMAOOO

-on episode 7...

-is ward about to kill john b?

-is that why they in the middle of nowhere

-how does he know about redfield

-WARD NO

-WTF

HOLY CRAP WHAT IS HAPPENING

-damn...

-ward sucks

-rose if you dont shut tf up-

-istg she looked at his butt as he walked away

-OMFG SUE NOOOO

-FUCK RAFE

-HE SUCKs

-its not fucking okay ward

-she just got shot

-kiara is gay

-every guy tries to get with her and she aint with it

-its the only explanation 

-im on the last episode!!

-im nervy for what finna happen

i envy the sbi guy’s eyebrows

-barry got sum grandma chairs

-mans is having a serious withdrawal

-thurfboard

-why pope pose like that

-scared me honestly

-is jjs dad dead

-did he just rip open a ziplock baggie

-POPE LETS GO

-ummm nvm pope bb i need you to chill tf out

-what he goings byebyes but theres still 20 minutes left

-brosji why do i love barry so much

-lol i thought kie was gonna kiss him-

-FUCK

-NO KIARA COME ON BABY YOURE BETTER THAN THAT

-sarah get off the boat and go get your girlfriend-

-pope get your fucking hand off of her knee im not goddamn happy with you right now-

-perfect fucking eyebrows im so jealous

-damn its pitch black huh

-follow the north star hoe

-oh noooooo the lights noooo

-the boat has been spotted oh shit

-nice ass sarah-

-they arent gonna make it

-like where do they think they going

-theyre going into the storm

-ok

-sir i am so insanely jealous of your eyebrows

-shut the fuck up ward

-he is a liar youre right sarah

-literally go off john b

-sarah stop talking that was cringe af

-these hoes finna die

-fucking finally ward is getting what he deserves

-omg no

-youre fucking joking

-tell me im wrong

-lost them my ass

-we dont know

-jj is me rn

-this is not ak

-literally not me crying

-wtf is this ending

-i hate it

-kiara nooooooo

-poor babies

-they dont derserve this

-HOLY SHIT JOHN B

-why is his first thought sarah

-thats adorable

-now kiss

-wow they really in the middle of nowhere

-you arent loud enough save your voices

-oh theyve been spotted 

-they cold

-hurry tf up larry

-a gotdamn disaster

-wheres nassu?

-ofc shes cold john

-wait thats it?

-wth

[dukes-cassettetape]

I'm gonna keep it a bean...this issue broke me. this title is not good and was kinda a waste of a run for most of these characters. It started off with a lot of promise but ultimately the only good thing about this run has been that it does somewhat elevate Black Lightning.

besides Lady Shiva, Batman, and Jeff, the rest of the Outsiders barely speak: Katana gets one line, Duke gets one line, Sofia gets no lines, and Cassandra gets two (which, admittedly, isn't as egregious as the others). Ok, they don't speak but they at least fight Ra's as a team right?

wrong! Only Orphan and Black Lightning see any kind of action this issue, after this page everyone else doesn't get off the floor til the end of the issue. why? well, Cassandra Cain needs her big action setpiece because that would, like, be super cool.

On Cassandra, throughout this run Orphan wasn't really a character, she's a badass button: "we need some badassery, press the badass button!" and then she beats some ass. all of the characters are wasted not just here but throughout the entire run. Katana, why was she even on this team? you know, besides to lust after Jefferson. Lady Shiva was kinda cool but she doesn't really do much despite having more lines, agency, and utility than most of the actual Outsiders. Sofia could've been dope, but the minute she joined the team she stopped being a character, and she was barely one before; she still doesn't even have a name. don't even get me started on Duke (my nigga, what was the point of those bullshit shadow powers?) they burned 16 issues of build up for this big confrontation with Ras, just to end it with a couple of one-sided hits after an abundance of derivative uninspired dialogue? Jeff vs Ra's was 6 pages long, with 2 blows exchanged the whole fight. the rest of the time it was stuff like this:

put aside all this overly indulgent dialogue, he tried to take everything from you? gotdamn when? he killed his friend then dipped, that's all Ras ever did directly to Jeff. are you saying that that one friend is everything? are you saying that him pushing you to wanna kill was taking everything from you? we don't see enough of Jeff's life for us to know what he had to lose or what he lost. so what the hell is he talking about? this is the problem, Hill keeps telling and not showing but then he says a whole lot to actually say nothing.

and it wouldn't be Hill if he didn't do his patented "question-nonanswer-do a cool thing" maneuver

-sigh- can they just drop the last issue now so I can wash my hands of this series? I really wanted to love this series because you don't see too many creative teams of color writing a book composed primarily of heroes of color but Hill dropped the ball (and dropped it HARD) with tedious pacing, repetitive dialogue, ill-conceived and half-formed characterization, and constantly focusing more on Batman's beef with Ras over developing his cast in a meaningful way. I'm feeling a light to strong 4 on this one

tran...

[makeste]

Who is the bitch in the first year hero courses most down for murder, do you think? Surprisingly, despite being the only one to actually MAKE death threats, I'm mot sure Bakugou is all that high up there? When you've got Todo freezing people from the inside out, Mushroom Girl choking people, Honenuki drowning people and dropping industrial chimneys on them etc etc... What would your rankings be?

what better way to spend a Sunday evening than by ranking all of U.A.’s first-year students by murder.

disclaimer: I am doing this for fun and this entire post is ridiculous so please do not take it too seriously. also just a heads up, this post contains some recent manga spoilers as well as a couple of spoilers for Heroes Rising. now then, let’s quantify these bloodthirsty little savages.

okay so despite being entirely too plus ultra for their own good, approximately 99% of these kids would never dream of doing any kind of permanent harm to another living being. so I’m just listing the first thirty in no particular order, and then we’ll get to ranking the top ten.

Aoyama

despite having that brief moment in chapter 167 where virtually everyone thought he was a serial killer, Aoyama is actually a good boy. a bit stalkerish, maybe.

Mina

Mina did dream up that one attack where Ochako floats her up in the air so that she can rain acid down on people, which is slightly homicidal. but she’s not a killer. honestly if she was we’d all be dead already. see: thicc Girl Noumu.

Tsuyu

if Tsuyu had ever killed someone she would have already told everyone all about it because she is open about these things so safe to say she is not a killer.

Ochako

all Ochako wants to do is help and support people. she can be pretty hardcore from time to time but my baby girl would never. not to say that villain wouldn’t be a good look on her. I still get a shiver up my spine remembering that one time Toga turned into her and demonstrated exactly how deadly her quirk could be.

Ojiro

nah. the worst thing Ojiro has ever done was throwing his empty plain yogurt cup into the wrong recycling bin by accident, and he felt terrible about it afterward.

Kaminari

real talk, Kaminari could very easily kill a ton of people with his quirk if he actually tried. but he hasn’t, because he is only two and is too busy learning his shapes and colors and leaving his lego duplo blocks all over the carpet for other people to trip on.

Kirishima

do I even have to justify this at all. duh Kirishima doesn’t murder people sorry to anyone who came into this post all excited to read a big paragraph going off about Kiri’s raw bloodlust. I don’t know what you expected.

Kouda

Kouda is probably deadlier than everyone thinks. imagine him commanding, say, a mob of giant hornets to swarm and kill someone. it’s a good thing he wouldn’t actually hurt a fly.

Satou

I sat here for a while thinking about what I could say about Satou. but just. can you picture him killing a guy? nah, me neither.

Shouji

one of the things I like about Shouji is that he looks older than he is, and kind of creepy, what with the masked face and the freaky tentacle arms and all the like. and so he very likely experienced some of that good old fashioned quirk racism growing up, and people were afraid of him and/or thought he would become a villain. but instead he decided to become a hero. and I think that says so much about Shouji’s character. it reminds me a lot of Shinsou; his desire to become a hero was so strong that he overcame prejudice and circumstances which could just have easily have led to him becoming a villain (and in fact, it’s not all that different from some of the actual villain backstories). anyway so yeah no murder for him.

Jirou

I think she would consider killing anyone who ever hurt Momo or Kami, but aside from that NO because she is a good pure girl who loves music and rocking out and putting smiles on people’s faces.

Sero

poor Sero is so not-murdery that when he does get pitted against someone with more murdery energy such as Todoroki, he basically gets immediately overwhelmed and everyone is just kind of wincing and then timidly applauding him and saying “good try.” that’s Sero’s life. he would just sit there and get murdered rather than going in for the kill. he’s a good bro.

Mineta

needs several restraining orders filed against him, but wouldn’t actually kill someone.

Momo

well one time she did explode a grenade in Aizawa’s face. but no.

Awase

now we have come to the 1-B kids. I will give brief descriptions in case you, like me, sometimes have trouble remembering their names. so, Awase! the welding, Momo-rescuing one. he is not murdery.

Sen

the rotating limbs one. one of the least murdery kids in the fairly murderous 1-B on account of his quirk is just too ridiculous. sorry Sen.

Kuroiro

the Tokoyami one. more likely to bore you to tears talking about death than actually kill someone. which is too bad because he honestly would make a pretty bitching assassin.

Kendou

would say she’s probably in the top fifteen. god I love her quirk so much. just want her to slap some bitches to death. but she probably wouldn’t.

Shishida

the growly monster one. he does get some bonus points for tending to lose control once he goes full beastmode and werewolfs out. and he is fairly deadly.

Shouda

the roly poly double smashy one. it’s actually only a matter of time before Shouda kills someone, most likely. his quirk is way too dangerous, and the thing is, it’s probably hard for him to tell how dangerous a particular impact is going to be beforehand. one of these days it’s gonna be way stronger than he intends and somebody’s neck is gonna get snapped.

Pony

never forget that time Pony stabbed Ojiro and Shouji like a dozen times and everybody was just cool with it.

Tsuburaba

the air platform one. he did try to suffocate Kouda that one time.

Tetsutetsu

only if he’s fighting Shouto. or teamed up with Shouto. then all bets are off as to whether or not he’s going to drill his superheated steel fist right through somebody’s face.

Tokage

the severed limbs one. she just has kind of a murdery vibe to her. stalking everyone with her various body parts. yuuugh. I bet if she did kill someone nobody would ever be able to prove it was her.

Manga

the speech bubble head one. is going to destroy so much public and private property once he’s set loose on the streets. but no deaths.

Bondo

the glue one. and nah, Bondo is cool.

Koudai

the Ant-Man one. doesn’t strike me as particularly murderous, I even went and reread her part of the joint training arc to confirm it. she’s fine.

Rin

the kung fu dragon one. not especially murdery. overall probably one of the least bloodthirsty in class 1-B in fact.

Shiozaki

the vines one. she’s extremely murdery. I can’t be the only one who thinks that, can I? Shiozaki scares the shit out of me. if I were Kaminari I would have nightmares about her.

Monoma

would murder every single member of class 1-A if he could. would be the criminal in a Detective Conan two-parter. would give a long monologue about always being the side character and never in the starring role until one day he finally couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. why does his hero costume make it look as though he’s going to steal a bunch of famous jewels out from under everyone’s noses. nah but I’m just kidding and Monoma would never actually kill someone. but one day he’s probably going to be framed for murder by a villain and Kendou and Shinsou will have to team up to defend him and catch the real culprit.

10. Yanagi

the creepy pale ghost-girl-looking one. contrary to what you are probably all thinking, her high ranking isn’t just because of her general horror film vibe, but also because she attempted to bludgeon Mina to death during the joint battle arc. but also yes it is because of her general horror film vibe.

9. Kamakiri

the stabby one. he’s up here because I’m pretty sure he tried to kill Jirou that one time. like what was he even gonna do if Bakugou hadn’t stepped in. though to be fair I don’t think he actually had his knives out at the time so maybe he was just gonna elbow her in the face or something idk.

8. Bakugou

I agree with you that Bakugou is much more bark than bite, anon. and not only is he remarkably careful and precise with his quirk and good at avoiding any collateral damage (and even better IMO ever since his supplementary training), I think that due to his various struggles with being perceived as a villain and also trying to find his own understanding of what being a hero means, he’s probably more self-aware than most of the other kids at this point when it comes to matters of “is this morally okay.” so in spite of his generally violent demeanor, I very much doubt he ever would or could actually kill someone. but he’s in the top ten because his high shounen protagonist levels do place him in the “would potentially go apeshit if and when something happened to someone he cares about” category, though. and also because he and Deku did basically attempt to disintegrate Nine, and then when Nine just dropped off the face of the earth afterwards, no one even bothered to wonder what had happened to him. which leads me to wonder if Deku and Katsuki straight up assume they did in fact kill him and just dgaf.

7. Deku

see above re: Nine. and also he may have to kill AFO one day. so while he probably wouldn’t be happy about it, I think he could still potentially do it. and also because he absolutely does lose his gotdamn mind every time someone hurts one of his friends, and especially Kacchan, and I could picture him just snapping if something really awful ever actually did happen. I don’t think it would in canon because it’s just way too dark, but I don’t think it’d be out of character if he did.

6. Iida

literally tracked down the villain who attacked his brother with the full intent of personally killing said villain once he got his hands on him. true, Shouto and Deku talked him out of it in the end, but still. that was some real motherfucking killing intent. also I will never forget the image of this kid sitting his ass down in middle of the woods and mutilating his own goddamn body without any anesthesia. listen, everyone. just please, for your own safety, do not fuck with Iida.

5. Shouto

and now we reach the top five. listen, feel free to disagree, but I stand firm in my belief that out of all the non-traitor and non-demon-possessed children in class 1-A, Todoroki Shouto is absolutely the most likely to straight up just kill a bitch one day. this boy froze a man from the inside out until a tower of fucking ice was jutting out of his fucking throat, and was all “go ahead and hibernate for a while” like excuse me, THE FUCK. and the thing is, this wasn’t just a one-time occurrence either; he literally pulls this kind of shit ALL THE TIME. froze an entire fucking building with his classmates in it and was all “feel free to bring it on but fighting without the soles of your feet will be painful.” heh. what the fuck. and do you all remember when he fought Sero and was in a bad mood so he iced half the fucking stadium. nearly killed a few people right then and there. “I got carried away.” whaaaaaaat. and I could go on and on; he nearly burned poor Shindou alive, and basically the entirety of chapter 205 could have been submitted as evidence in a court of law had that training battle against Tetsutetsu gone only slightly differently. basically Shouto is an entirely too realistic portrayal of a very sweet but marginally unstable boy with a completely broken power and a shitload of unresolved personal trauma which he is still working through.

4. Honenuki

somehow more murdery than Todoroki “HIBERNATE!!” Shouto. this is entirely because of chapter 205, formerly the most murdery chapter of the entire series, and dethroned only by the recent chapter 266 for obvious reasons. anyway so during the joint training battle, Honenuki bludgeoned Todoroki in the back of the head and would probably have let his unconscious body slump into the softened ground to drown had Iida not saved him. he then proceeded to drop a water tower on top of the both of them. a whole-ass water tower. this was a fucking training exercise. and Honenuki was the only one who kept his calm throughout the entirely of said exercise. and he was praised for his calm murdering skills afterward. because he was fucking awesome tbh. anyway but the point is this is supposed to be a hero school not an assassin school but I’m not really sure anymore you guys.

3. Tokoyami

my man would have straight up killed Moonfish in that forest and sure did try his best. he’s got the same issue as Todoroki in that his quirk is as powerful as it is unstable. and while he himself is not murdery, when Dark Shadow loses control, though… hooooh boy. I was gonna add something about him also interning under Takami “literally stabbed my friend in the neck for the greater good” Keigo, but I think that makes them both come off as more sinister than they actually are. I do think a big part of Tokoyami’s story is him overcoming his inner darkness and wresting control of it and mastering it, so I don’t think it’s very likely that he actually will kill someone in the story. but he’s got a murdery side, no two ways about it.

2. Toadette

straight up filled Tokoyami’s windpipe with mushrooms during a training exercise. he uses that to breathe, fyi. she then offered him a lozenge afterward. do not fuck with Toadette. do not. just don’t.

1. Hagakure

last but not least! Hagakure “hasn’t killed anyone officially but is also definitely the traitor” Tooru! y’all know how it is! I’m committed to this theory! I’d even be willing to put money on a reveal scene where she does just straight up kill someone, and that’s our cliffhanger establishing that the traitor is none other than! and this is coming up sooner than you might think too, guys. Horikoshi brought up the traitor again relatively recently during the Christmas Eve chapter, and that kind of foreshadowing isn’t for nothing. anyways I’m here for it though so bring on that body count you funky little turncoat.

so there you have it. my not-that-definitive definitive ranking of classes 1-A and 1-B by murderous inclination. there’s really not that much rhyme or reason to it tbh but this was fun, thank you anon!