#+ a lot of translated ones but idk if i have every translated cover bc those are harder to search for

[haunthouse]

so i've been collecting every single cover of hill house,

[desertdragon]

So srs I think one of the only modern game Eng (and I specify english because other languages tend to not be as bad) localizations that's WORSE than this one is T/e/k/k/e/n and 8 is by far the worst bandai have ever done it for that game, but playing devil's advocate you can argue it's not as important there bc of the tone meanwhile XIV takes its tone very seriously so it's worse thematically and from a quality perspective to drop the ball in a serious story

[s41l0rm00nz]

can u do a Miguel O’Hara fic where we peg n babygirl him and just spoil him 😩😩

Massage Therapy

miguel o’hara x reader

sypnosis: miguel is stressed from a long day of being spiderman and what better way to relieve that than by giving him a massage?

cw: use of y/n, she/her pronouns, pegging, miguel is babygirl (and stressed), soft dom!reader, beefy man getting a massage from his gf, afab reader, reader uses a strap, fingering (male receiving bc prep is important!!), miguel gets oiled up (i’d pay to see that irl), miguel has a praise kink that goes both ways, miguel calls reader mami bc thats hot idc., also u both speak spanish (miguel more than reader (had to use google translate 🙏 so pardon any mistakes.)), no specified looks for y/n, kinda short after care?? idk, big strong men r always submissive at heart, u guys were in the shower for a little bit, these r a lot of cw

jay i’ve been procrastinatin mb stink hope u like this xx

miguel sighed as he grabbed the spare key under his front doormat. He was sweating, his muscles ached and he couldn’t help but groan as he entered his apartment.

his mind was clouded with sleep and the intention of getting to his partner as his large frame walked towards the bathroom, already hearing running water from the shower he slipped in. the mirror was covered in steam and miguel quickly undressed.

he pulled the shower curtain back, a scream irrupted from the girl in the shower. “fuck, miguel!” she gasped, a hand was over her heart as miguel chuckled.

“lo siento, mi amor..” he grinned, cracking his back and stepping under the shower stream and sighing pleasantly. he grabbed her love handles, head handing low as the shower water rushed over him “te extrañé, mi vida.”

she hummed, giving him a soft kiss on the lips when he bent down. “i missed you too,” grabbing the soap she squirted some into her hand then took the time to rub it all over her body. “how was saving the universe?” she smiled

“día agotador. as usual. today was… more tame though.” he cracked his back before moving her under the stream and stepping back.

“jesus, miguel.” she cringed at his loud cracking. “when was the last time you had a massage?” she washed the soap off her diligently, brows furrowed as she tried to look at miguel through the water.

he sucked in his breath, the dates becoming to cluttered to remember. y/n huffed through her nose.

“you need to take better care of yourself if y’re going to be doing this spider-man stuff.” she reprimanded, clicking her tongue while her eyes narrowing at him, clearly upset from the way he was ‘taking care’ of himself.

“m’sorry.” he groaned quietly, snaking his hands around her waist. “let me help you, mi hermosa..” he soothed, washing off any left over soap on her to help get back in her good graces. his rough hands smoothed over her body with precision, gripping her ass when he was done.

y/n leaned into his touch, “one of these days i’m gunna give you a massage, hun. your knots have knots.” she could feel the stress and pain in his shoulders from where she was standing. “you deserve it,” she turned grabbed the soap and sprayed some in her hands. she roamed and mapped out his body, watching the way it glistens up his body with desire.

“i’ll keep your word for it.” he gave her a cheeky grin, fangs flashing.

you were always one to live up to your promises.

“okay, qué están haciendo?” miguel asked with a little chuckle. “i’m at your mercy, mi amor.” he was sat on the bed, no clothes on with a smirk on his face

“put your head here and relax for me, miguel.” y/n patted a singular pillow on the edge of the bed, trying not to stare at every bit of him. once he settled she grabbed the massage oil, rubbed it in her hands then began to spread it along miguel’s body.

in all his glory miguel layed in your shared bed, naked and lathered in oil. his face was smooshed into a pillow as y/n worked methodically on his back muscles. she gasped at the knots she felt under his skin.

“y’re so tense, miguel. you’ve been working so hard, hm?” every crack, push, and movement with y/n’s hands had miguel moaning with pleasure.

“joder, mami. you feel so good.” he sighed into the pillow, letting out a deep groan when she touched a specific spot. “fuck-“

“feels good doesn’t it?” her voice was sultry when she whispered in his ear, enjoying the way he shivered. “my big mans’ been working day and night. maybe i should’ve done this sooner.” she grinned, cracking a spot on his back that had him moaning loud.

“ah..-“ he moaned. “ay dios mío- yes that feels good so good, mi amor.” his voice was shaky, “that was the spot.”

“good, good..” she mumbled, her massages traveled down to his lower back to a spot she knew was sore. she pressed down and heard a good crack come out. every moan or noise he made was like singing praises to her. this was about miguel tonight.

“you know me so well, love. you’re like an angel right now-“ his voice and compliments became more broken the more he massage. “s-so good.” miguel could already feel himself becoming way less tense the more she worked. but there was still another tense spot he was starting to sport, and it was hard not to notice.

“jeez, miguel.” y/n snickered, feeling miguel up as she smoothed her hands over his back. “that good, huh?”

all miguel could do was grumble, “well-“ he sighed. “i do have an incredibly beautiful lady on top of me-“ he moaned when she massaged his shoulders. “so i’m just- responding to that.” he grinned.

“very responsive, indeed.” she teased, “want me to take care of that for you?” she smoothed her hand over his ass.

“i wouldn’t say no to that.” miguel chuckled, “love it when you take care of me like that..”

“i know you do.” she hummed.

…

“y’know..” she trailed off, grabbing the oil and dabbing some on her hand. “we haven’t filled this up in a while..” she traced and rimmed his hole, the smile on her face was almost contagious.

“you’re a tease.” miguel snorted. “but you’re right, we haven’t.” he relaxed deeply into the pillow. “makes me wonder what else will be joining us tonight..” he laugh was deep in his chest, grinning at the idea they shared.

“well, tonight is about you. wouldn’t be bad if i took care of other places then your back.” she pushed a finger in slightly before removing it.

“oh my,” he sucked in a breath. “well if the offers on the table, i would like the sound of that.” he chuckled.

“it is definitely on the table,” she peppered kissed along his back, staying in a few spots as she pushed her finger in slowly. “i need to prep you though first, okay?”

“soy todo tuyo, mami. do what you must.” his voice shook with a groan, relaxing more and more into the bed as she fingered him. he let out a deep whine as she curled one finger.

“m’gunna add another, okay?” she removed her finger and watched as his hole gaped slightly as she added oil to her middle and point. she slowly pushed into his hole again, his moans egging her on to go deeper.

she pulled out her fingers and right as they were about to escape she pushed them back in. “you’re so tight, miguel. ease up a little.” she massaged his thigh with his other hand, she fingered him slowly, moving her fingers in a beckoning motion.

“fuck- oh, cariño, te sientes tan bien.” miguel mumbled, his cock rutting slowly into the bed.

y/n snorted, pulling out slowly. she got up and went into their closet, shuffling around before finding a shoe box with plenty of things shuffling around in it. she opened it up and grabbed a particular item before stalking back towards miguel’s submissive figure. she fixed the strap-on to herself before settling back into her original position and spread his cheeks.

“this is going to hurt a little.” she mumbled into his ear, voicing soothing. “but you can take it, miguel. you always do.” she praised, rubbing oil on the strap-on then lining it up his hole. she placed soft kisses all along him as she pushed in, his breathing was heavy while his moans turned into soft whines of pain and pleasure from the depths of his throat.

once she was settled she pulled out slowly. going all the way to only the tip in then slamming in him at a medium pace in prone bone position.

he was slowly falling apart on her cock, fangs bared and claws clinging to the sheets and throaty groans unraveled from his mouth. each thrust was deep, prodding at his deepest parts. a hand was on his lower back to not only keep him in place but to hit farther, to that specific spot that had him screaming all those nights ago and it was y/n’s mission to get him to that point. she wanted to spear him on her cock like how he’s done for her. she sung praises in his ear, enjoying his pleads and fuss on how good it feels. how much he needed this. how much he loves you.

it was all sweet, y/n snaked her hand under him to toy with his cock, rubbing her thumb over the tip and using his precum to jerk him off. it was intimate, what miguel craved for.

“e-estoy cerca de correrme,” miguel stuttered out. “i’m close- so close, cariño.” his hips shook with fevor as y/n’s pace of thrust became faster.

“go ahead, mi amor.” she kissed him gently, slipping her tongue inside him as he started to come. “that’s it.” she whispered, finding joy in his moans as her thrust lackadaisically slowed. “doing so good for me, let all your stress leave.”

she let him catch his breath before pulling out. he whined at the feeling, bucking his hips deeper into the sheets. “roll over for me, love.” she kissed his shoulders gently, helping him roll over before taking off her strap-on. she made her way to the kitchen and filled a glass with water to give to him.

“that felt amazing, mi amor..” he stretched gently, sitting up against the headboard and drinking the water.

as he drunk the cooling liquid she used a warm rag to wipe wherever his cum sprayed along with the sheets, mumbling how she’ll wash them in the morning. she placed soft kisses along his back and chest, smoothing her hands over every battle scar and mumbling praises into his skin.

…

“did you enjoy yourself?” his words were soft as he pulled her close to him.

“of course i enjoyed myself, i was taking care of you.” she said in a light voice, kissing still trailing along his skin.

“mhmmm, you always know how to make me feel good.” his voice was hoarse and his hands were lazily trailing her body. “you’re simply the best.”

she grinned at his compliments. “are you trying to butter me up right now?”

“maybe, is my flattery working?”

“nope.” she chuckled. “are you aching anymore?”

“no, i feel a whole lot better actually.” he shuffled under the blankets with her, enjoying the warmth they shared. “gracias, amor mío.”

“for what?”

“por todo eso. i needed it.”

“of course, mi niño grande.”

…

“what?”

[pipperoo]

another one of my npmd wips that i plan on writing sometime soon! i mentioned it in previous posts, but this is another ghost!au centered on max and grace (jagertitty brain worms got me)

this has been sitting in my drafts a bit, it’s very top down and doesn’t really get to the vibe of the fic, but it’s the best i’m really ever going to get. in person frantic rambles is the preferred medium to get my fic ideas across, so it’s always hard when i have to translate it to some written down. idk if that makes sense, but just read if you’re interested

the premise is grace is tired of max hitting on her so much and decides that, to stop him from bothering her, she needs to take him on a terrible date so he’ll be scared off. of course it takes place at the waylon house (only she and max go there, none of the other nerds)

max falls and dies and grace decides to cover up that she was there so it looks like an accident. (it was not her intention to kill him) max becomes a ghost and is mysteriously shunted to the black before appearing in grace’s room a week after he died.

through some stuff that’ll be revealed over the course of the fic, max and grace are connected and every time max gets a certain distance away from her, he is teleported back to her side. only grace can see and hear him too. he’s a bit of a lame ghost, he can’t really do anything, at the start.

they grapple with the complicated feelings and opinions they had as each other, but grow closer and become friends during their effort to figure out how to send max to the next plane. but there may be more to it than they thought.

grace’s headspace is stuck between arousal and repulsion towards max at the beginning. she hates him when he returns as a ghost and grows to see him as a friend (maybe more but who knows) but she now has to deal with the fact that he’ll eventually have to go. max’s headspace at the start is pure infatuation with grace, but he can never fully determine why he’s so into her that it bothers him. he also enjoys getting under her skin so she’ll think about him as much as he thinks about her. when he becomes a ghost he’s a little lost bc he thought grace liked him which she doesn’t and the entire school hates him which causes his temper to flare. when he starts to improve his relationship, he becomes better in general, still not great, but not the worst.

this is a very basic rundown, but their connection has ties to the waylon house spell which operates a little differently in this timeline due to certain things. a lot of it is mainly them being each others first real friend in a long time and navigating the complexities of being a ghost before their search for answers leads them towards danger.

i had a much longer explanation, but it made very little sense so this is good for now, it’s a little hard to fully describe it when i’m not rambling out loud. this is one of two wips that i plan to work on. there is also another au that i like to say is the evil version of this one which i might post about. this is what i have for now, might include more details later <3

[thursdayinspace]

20 questions for 20 writers

tagged by @thatfragilecapricorn30 @randomfoggytiger and @baronessblixen thank you!! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 21

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 70.063 -- this is my new AO3, so that's why it's still so low, haha.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Only X-Files now.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? spectacular (glasses sex!), it's the day the world didn't end, from this morning forward (that makes me so happy), got you covered, wild side

5. Do you respond to comments? yes. if I ever don't, I'm sorry, it's not because i didn't love your comment, but i just don't get around to it right away sometimes. but i try to reply to every single one because i love them all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ohhh. i don't write super angsty endings . . . I guess mend into pieces bc it's season 2 and they know they're making a mistake, but we all know they'll figure it out eventually, so.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? they pretty much all end happily. i'm going to more or less randomly pick five ways to say i love you. because i loved writing that ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? so, okay. there are two stories here i want to tell from an old fandom. one is funny. one is kind of great, really?

the funny one: i got a looooong comment on a fic, like several paragraphs long, going into great detail about why the fic sucked and why i sucked and why i had personally offended them by writing fic at all. they obvs meant to comment anonymously but forgot to log out. by the time i got to my computer, they had deleted their entire account. of course i had their name in the ao3 email. i laughed so hard at that.

the kind of amazing one: i got a very rude anon on tumblr, and i responded by saying i'd be happy to discuss their criticism, but i wasn't going to have a conversation with a hockey puck with sunglasses, and asked them to come off anon so we could talk. and they did! they showed up in my dms a short while later. we solved nothing and did not part as friends, but i actually have mad respect for that. wherever they are today, i hope they have taken some anger management classes and are doing well!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yeah, i certainly do. idk what kind? the porny kind? lol no i mean it's kind of lame but fun.

10. Do you write crossovers? i wrote a stargate atlantis/firefly crossover centuries ago but that was it. or maybe start trek with sth else, i don't remember.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? i don't think so, no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! it's so much fun and i would do it again.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? mulder and scully!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i plan to finish all of them.

16. What are your writing strengths? it used to be dialogue but i don't think it is anymore. idk? i think i can create an atmosphere?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i tend to repeat myself a lot and then skip over other things completely. i'm not good with transitions between scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i haven't done it, but if it would make sense for a fic, i might do it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? stargate atlantis. i was very late to the fanfic party.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? it's called 'ellipsis' and is still with the beta. but of the ones i've already posted, either from this morning forward or yesterday's future.

Randomfoggytiger added additional questions:

1. Is writing a hobby or way of life? i mean it's a hobby but it's definitely also a way of life. there isn't ever a time when i don't think about writing and everything all the time connects in some way to a thing i'm writing and i can't imagine what i'd do without writing.

2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript? completed manuscript! or notes? uhh . . . both?

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration? everything. random things. i can't think of one specific thing, it can be literally anything.

4.Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing? both thoughts are equally awful lol

5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective? yeah, i think so. not in any big way, but about smaller stuff, just the way i look at certain things? yes.

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN? ao3!!! my tinkerbell brain loves the comment section, haha. also it's just so much nicer to read on ao3 and there's the download option, so also as a reader, def ao3.

7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it? 70.063 - no, i'm not satisfied with it. i used to write multi-chapters with more words. but it's a new account so yeah starting small again.

8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably? jasper fforde's 'thursday next' series. it's where i stole my name from. literary detectives? oh man. it's the kind of story where you wish you'd had the idea first. go read it!!!!!

9. What's the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it? i am really really lucky to have been given so many amazing compliments and i appreciate every single one. i couldn't say what means the most to me . . . probably when it's personal to the commenter? when someone tells me sth i've written touched them in some way. bc that's what i want to achieve.

10. What defines your writing style? lol idek man pretentious purple prose? i think i live somewhere between overuse of metaphors and focus on the rhythm of a text. i love writing in english bc it flows so nicely. idk is trying to make it sound nice a style bc then that's at least what i'm going for.

who hasn't been tagged? no pressure tags for @backintimeforstuff @nachosncheezies @actual-changeling and everybody else who wants to!

[yourlocalabstraction]

Guys wake up the yourlocalabstraction-ified Heart and Mind designs just dropped

Text translations below!

added annotations that aren’t on the canvas will be italicized

Notes for Mind:

I have a LOT of ideas

Hair has floof but still is angular

Ball jointed

Cane to help w/ inefficient/rusty leg joints. I think it doubles as a cool looking septer too. This isnt fully scrapped, i plan to use this occasionally!! The cane will probably resemble an umbrella and have more sun motifs because yes

A metal petticoat thing would be really neat however idk if i can make it work .__. [spoiler alert, it didnt work]

GENDER ENVY. GENDER. ENVY.

Paint chipped from Juno incident [Juno aimed for his heart. Like that would do anything]

Sun on da back,,,

Mind-coded brush dump [reference the 753356 brush swatches]

This canvas has like 80 layers please send help

Voice modulator is normally covered when he’s around the others. Poor bby

Adding random notes to fill the canvas

Crown goes away towards the end of cacophony, somewhere btw. Light + TWWAY since bro no longer needs to assert dominance. [comes back every reset though ofc]

Can visualize ideas via hologram [inspired by NaraArts in the CJFS]

Him jumpscare

Notes for Heart:

Maybe has a life support thing? (Idk what they’re called). Perhaps bc he’s blind, the lil heart can give him info about his environment. Or it could help him express his emotions (i have no idea what i meant by this. Maybe its like an emotional support creature). Idfk man. Plus its a more unique take ig. Annnnd spoiler alert this whole idea was scrapped. Will it ever come back? We may never know.

Drastic height difference??? (Between him and the life support thing)

Longer, majestic blindfold tails

Thicker hips to contrast Mind’s proportions

No wings, around-back wings, lil but impractical wings, arm wings (i ended up going for arm wings)

W.o. Blindfold: Injury from middle prong (i have realized the correct word is tine. My b) (also when drawing his face in the future I’ll probably draw his injuries more prominent because its more realistic)

Going for more rounded lips

Probably is very self conscious of his face, especially after the trident incident. Poor bby <3

Idea: wing cloak?!? Heart-shaped knot over da heart (this was also scrapped)

Will be continued on another canvas! He needs a fit…

Ngl im struggling a bit. I want something wing-like but im not exactly sure how to portray it .__. All i know is we gotta have rounded shapes + moon symbols ig

I kinda want him to have a more traditional? Classy? Vibe (nvm i went for smth more cozy) to contrast Mind’s industrial aesthetic.

[arrow pointing to my sona] paranoid that seeing 2 billion HMS fan designs has ruined my ability to create a unique interpretation

Side of the leg view: feathery floof

Ourple veins!! (Maybe not this dark tho)

Socks !!

Idea: he stiches (I MISSPELLED THAT FUCK) on patches that represent Whole’s favorite and/or current and/or most prominent memories. Or maybe Mind sews on new ones every Concord once they become besties,,, THE PLATONIC BONDING POTENTIAL AAAA *STIM STIM STIMMMM*

If you read this far, here. (gives you a grilled cheese sandwich)

[airenyah]

QL Wrapped 2023

i was tagged by @nongnaos and @ranchthoughts thank youuu <333

i meant to upload this at the latest by december 31st, but the thing is when i saw the tag i was a little overwhelmed at first bc i didn't know how to fill it out and then once i had it all written out i had a super hard time deciding on what to gif and then it all ended up taking soooo much longer than planned. and now it's already 2024. oops. well, better late then never...

so without further ado:

You watched 12 QLs this year that's about 264 hours!

(i'm counting only qls that started airing 2023 bc i didn't keep track of every single show that i watched and it's a lot easier to count all the 2023 dramas on mdl lmao)

You primarily only watched QLs from Thailand

i blame my bachelor thesis for this which i was writing on the translation strategies of thai to eng and also the fact that i'm learning thai, so any time i watch a series i'm like "do i watch something from a country other than thailand tonight??" only for a little voice in my head to go "yeah but you COULD be spending your evening practicing thai listening skills" so yeah...

You spent way too much time thinking about these characters: Pat Napat Jindapat

listen. LISTEN. i know ok, i know bad buddy is from 2021 not from 2023. however!!!!! bad buddy was part of our skyy 2 and that included my boy pat and so i'm counting it!!!! i'm always thinking about pat napat jindapat ok bye

no for real tho. i am NOT kidding when i say i have spent hours on end thinking about pat in the year of our lord 2023, two full years after the show dropped:

maybe in 2024 i'll finally sit down and write that meta that's been in my head for two years now

Your favorite show was Moonlight Chicken

it's gotta be the chicken show for me. yeah. it just felt so... idk, real in a way. idk how to explain it. i'm not even obsessing over mlc all that much but any time it pops into my head i go all kinds of 😭😭😭 and 🥰🥰🥰

not to mention the firstmix

the heartliming

and most importantly earth and fourth as an uncle/nephew duo??

i am so🥺🥺🥺

special shoutout also to jimbo the cat (left) who looks almost exactly like coco, my family's cat (right):

Another one of your favorites was Last Twilight

just. the way p'aof shows relationships on screen okay. yeah.

i cry

You are still stuck in this hallway:

yeah i've been thinking about the yank-kiss-yeet scene from hidden agenda and joke breaking down afterwards in that very hallway for 19 weeks straight gay. bye.

The soundtracks you listened to the most were:

(according to my spotify wrapped top 5)

Just Friend? (Bad Buddy)

Our Song (Bad Buddy)

น้ำลาย (My School President Cover)

Secret (Bad Buddy)

yeah. i've given up on the "only 2023 media" thing. if we're talking songs only from series released in 2023 then i've got love love love (our skyy 2) on no. 32 and no more empty nights (our skyy 2) on no. 46 on my spotify wrapped

also if you're wondering what the 5th song (on no.3 in reality) from my top 5 was that's missing above where i only mentioned four songs, well, it's none other than tilly birds' same page? which yeah. is also bad buddy related. surprise surprise 🤭

Your overall bl mood was P'Aof

You created 15 gifsets (of which "only" 1/3 were about making other shows about bad buddy)

you can find them here

You shazammed 295 royalty free background music pieces/songs from thai dramas

fun fact: i haven't mentioned this publically yet but since thai dramas keep using the same music over and over again in various series i've actually started collecting the different songs/pieces and i'm planning on making a side blog about it. i just want to go through some more dramas first before i publish anything. so this is something you can look forward to in 2024 dkjfkfdj

currently shazamming my way through bad buddy (you may have seen my blorbo breakdown about pran in the ep4 sleepover scene the other week that was triggered by me shazamming all of ep4). next on the list: theory of love and the eclipse. it takes ages tho, so don't expect it any time soon

Your favorite acting pair was JoongDunk

(is anyone even surprised by this lol)

no but for real whatever these two have going on, i'm intrigued:

i just. i love their energy ok. they're fun. and they're clearly having fun

i couldn't decide on what to gif so here's a little compilation bc fuck it, this is my post and i get to do whatever the fuck i want

(actually there's more that i could have put in there but i didn't wanna waste any more time with posting this tag game and also i was trying to keep the compilation somewhat short lmao)

they are such silly little idiot boys ("little" says the 155cm tall short person about the 180+cm giants 🤭) and i adore them &lt;3

their energy is essentially this meme and i'm so here for it:

and they just communicate so well when they're performing and you never feel like either of them is "alone" on stage (doing his own thing in his own little bubble), it's SUCH a joy to watch!!!! once again plugging two of my all time fave performances that i've been rewatching over and over again for the last 3 months:

also dunk is just SO little brother-shaped to me idek!! looking at his face just makes me go into big sister mode. it doesn't help that he's only like a month or so older than my actual little brother. AND he reminds me a lot of one of my fave kids from my youth group that i used to go to for years. dunk natachai has klein-andi energy and you all don't know what that means but i know what that means as does my mom and she agrees. so.

tagging:

i feel so ashamed for not making it in time before 2023 ended so i'm not gonna tag anyone but if you see this and you really wanna do it bc you haven't done it yet then please do so and tag me because i say so!!

and mutuals, send me yours bc i'm not sure i saw everyone else's!!!! (@celestial-sapphicss @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @telomeke @waitmyturtles @dribs-and-drabbles did you guys do this already and if yes, send me yours? i must have missed it 🥺🥺🥺)

[livwritesstuff]

thanks for the tag @cheeky-undead <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

55 (according to AO3)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

435,923 good lord

3. What fandoms do you write for?

used to write for legends of tomorrow (rip) and now it's literally just steddie (and ronance when the inspiration strikes)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

if we're only talking stranger things (bc tbh i don't really wanna talk LoT lol):

i want your guy (to know)

swing, sucker, swing

plant a seed (we'll watch it grow)

honeydew (you love me, well)

don't look back, love (there's a million people)

5. Do you respond to comments?

yep i try my best to reply to all of them

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm not really one for angst tbh (writing it, anyway, i LOVE reading it). Angstiest overall is probably Covered in the Colors (LoT soulmate au w/an unhappy ending). For ST it's probably hold on (hold you)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

tbh most of my series The Satellite and the Sky has happy endings, but I guess that depends on your definition of "happy". plant a seed (we’ll watch it grow) is probably the happiest ending overall.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not very often these days -- i don't think it's ever happened during my time writing for the ST fandom bc i think there's been a shift in awareness that leaving hate comments on fic is generally really shitty and that individuals are ultimately responsible for curating their online experience

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I personally am not a smut writer. idk why but i always run into weird blockers whenever i try

10. Do you write crossovers?

not at the moment

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so -- come to think of it, I should probably being checking in on that every now and then

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i'm aware of

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope - not opposed to it except that I move at a glacial pace when it comes to writing and I don't want to put that burden on anyone else lol

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ooh fav of all time? idk i’m not really a multi-shipper to be honest. i usually get really into one ship for a while until my interest runs dry. longest running would probably be captain canary from legends of tomorrow, but i see myself ranting about all the ronance missed opportunities for a Long Time

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

i have bits and pieces of a hadestown au for steddie that i sincerely doubt will ever see the light of day bc I'm so genuinely intimidated by it. that musical is so so good and I couldn't write anything that came even close

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at making things feel real. i’m a planner and a bit of an over-thinker so i really like the small details. i also tend to lean on writing what i know which i think helps

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a hard time sticking to just one tense lol i don’t know what that's about.

i’m also a pretty literal thinker so tapping into metaphors and abstract ideas is still a challenge for me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

there are stronger soldiers than me out there who can do this. generally speaking, i like to write what i know. english is the only language i have total fluency in so if i wanted to write dialogue in another language, i'd have to rely on google translate which is obviously not accurate at all (not for conversational dialogue anyway), and I think some realism slips there

19. First fandom you wrote for?

not sure if it counts, but i used to write little self-insert harry potter stories when i was in elementary school before i even knew that fic was a thing. i think my first published fic would have been for glee (again, rip)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

tbh I think just like honey (you make me melt) is my fav. I had never written Eddie's POV up to that point and I was really nervous going into it, but something about writing from his perspective made it easier for me to face some of my writing challenges

i also had SO much fun writing my tommy pov i want your guy (to know)

[rollercoasterwords]

oh!!!! happy 100k words wfrau!!!!!!! she's getting bigger (<- like you would speak of a puppy). how long is it supposed to be & how far along are you? and also... would you like to share a snippet you like (from any chapter ofc... no pressure if no it's completely understandable)? what do you enjoy the most about writing it? bc it seems like you're having fun & it's so nice to see someone enjoying a hobby so openly online... especially writing... there's this conception that writers don't actually enjoy writing (the whole 'forcing myself to write' bit) and i'm curious to hear your perspective on it!! also!!!!!! i hope moving will be easy & fun & the world will be kind to you with the change <3 i keep telling myself 2 read marx but i can't find any good translations to my native language and reading it in english is making my brain go grgrgrgrgr like an air conditioner on its last leg so alas it might have to wait... so true for liking iced drinks they're really the best!! i've heard someone say it's childish but i think they just live a very miserable hot life in the august heat drinking their hot coffee instead of putting some ice cubes in it :) it's funny you say that about fav line because it's definitely my fav fic of your writing & the ending of it is soooo beautiful i get back to it every time i need to feel something!!!!! that song line is beautiful too omg... and well the weather is hell everywhere at least the world is all suffering together :( i hope the atmosphere isn't suffering too much :/ honestly i am a big 'i would rather be hot than cold' believer because i am from a hot country so i know how to deal with the heat but you know what i'm sure the chill can also be intriguing to some... not me though... i hope the winter will be kind on you <3 thank u for letting me invade ur ask box i am creating myself a room here for now i think. anyway. love and hugs!!!! <333

hello!! she is indeed getting bigger <3 if i had to guess right now i'd say i'm maybe...possibly nearing the halfway point of the fic, plotwise? but honestly it's really hard to say lol. i've got 2 more story arcs to cover in part 3 (plus finishing the current one), and then part 4 is gonna have like...2 or 3 story arcs as well, plus an epilogue. so it just depends on how long it takes me to cover all that ground!

and yeah i'm having a lot of fun writing!! i know what u mean abt the whole "ugh writing amirite" bit that writers do lol and i'm sure i do it sometimes too...i mean i think tone varies a lot and many people who complain about writing still really enjoy the activity, but i do think there is sometimes this self-flagellating tendency amongst some writers to act like writing is meant to be this strenuous, emotionally draining activity like ur...idk sisyphus w the stone or something, and if you're writing something 'easy' or 'fun' you're somehow a lower caliber of writer than those who Nobly Suffer for their art, etc...which i think is dumb lol. suffering doesn't inherently make art any better or more noble

& thank u 4 the well-wishes w moving!! i'm mostly nervous about getting to my flight on time lol i have to go into work the literal day before i leave and then catch a train across the country at 5am the next morning 2 get 2 the airport...not going 2 be fun so i'll take all the well-wishes i can get !!

sorry 2 hear u can't find marx in ur native language :( it's hard enough 4 me 2 understand reading in my first language i cannot imagine trying 2 parse it in a second language...maybe it might be easier 2 find one of his (or engels') shorter texts 2 read? capital is a monster but i started off with a few shorter pieces ('socialism: utopian and scientific', 'principles of communism', 'wage labour and capital,' 'value price and profit') which i found helpful! also there are lots of secondary resources of other people breaking down + explaining marx's work; maybe there's a good source in your native language that could give a summary/overview of capital? there's no one right way 2 learn, it's just abt finding what works best for u!!

iced drink supremacy 4ever truly <3 me myself & i we can only enjoy a hot beverage if it's very cold outside...otherwise i am simply thinking well why would i do that 2 myself... & thank u!! happy 2 hear u like the lines!! v happy w them v proud <3 & also appreciate the well-wishes re: weather i cannot relate 2 the hot-weather preference i much prefer cold...or at least i used to i grew up in a relatively cold climate but then i moved south 4 university so at this point i'm going on 6 years of living in what is categorized as a "humid subtropical climate" & i think my winter tolerance has been all but destroyed it hardly ever drops below freezing...but hot&humid weather is still my least favorite i think i would prefer icy-cold winter + mild summer but i will be actually putting that theory 2 the test this year so!! who knows maybe my hubris will be my downfall...

& of course!! u are welcome 2 stop by + chat anytime...in my heart we are drinking iced beverages 2gether <3 also as requested here is a snippet from ch 14:

“Don’t,” he tells her, firmly, “Don’t say that. I don’t—want you involved. If they ever did anything to hurt you…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” She stares at him, eyes ablaze. “And how do you think I feel? Knowing that they only pick on you because—” her voice falters, cracking, “Because you’re with me?” Her lip is trembling again, tears threatening to spill over from her eyes. Sirius shakes his head, helplessly, at a loss for what to do.

[papirouge]

There’s something about every alpha masculinity account that screams “fed” to me. I really think these account are fake and ran by the fbi to monitor men online and who would be likely to commit mass violence. Other times it’s bots.

But really, look at how they cry about how men are gods on earth for women to forcibly worship them (idolatry God will strike down every man who calls himself the lord) and the need to protect children from leftist but will welcome Kevin spacey and man who preyed upon children openly all because they don’t believe in “cancel culture” unless it’s them. This is such a insidious agenda happening and it requires a lot of attention from Christians to avoid this.

That's an interesting theory

I also heart the one saying that the incel movement was incepted by old scrote trying to make younger men look as stupid & insane as possible so that women of their age be repulsed by them and instead consider dating older men on the basis they won't be as unhinged. It would make sense if older redpiller weren't as much demented as the younger ones. And it's not like they were good concealing their "opinions" those scrote are unable to have a normam conversation with a women not involving sex, breeding, female's "role" or some other redpill bs

These old scrote are much more cunning and calculating than they will admit. Andrew Tate proudly admits he has no issue lying and deceptive tactics with the girls he's trafficking so why his fans think he wouldn't do the same to them? 🤔

Now to come back to your theory, I definitely think the redpill movement is indeed a psy-op to divide society. What irks me so bad is that so called 'free thinker' media wil have no issue seeing this when it comes to race, and call the BLM movement "divisive" and breeding hate among society, but will say absolutely nothing about redpiller and their visceral hate against women. I'm thinking about Vigilant Citizen especially.. it's been a while I realized dude was shady but I realized he was definitely full of shit when he made an entire article to dunk on Barbie and its feminist propaganda that will destroy society🙄 (btw I didn't forget he never approved my comment on that article calling him out lmao Mind you, he's one of those whiny people asking for more fReEdoM oF sPeEch/truthers are cEnsOreD, but is unable to apply that freedom of speech on his own website🤡). Meanwhile he has yet to address the redpill movement and the well documented femicide attacks/shootings perpetuated by men who explicitly expressed their hatred against women. Is that enough to finally call the redpiller/mra movement "divisive" too?

VC loves making articles pointing out the occult symbolism anywhere he can, so...why didn't he say shit about Andrew Tate Russian guru who happens to be a black warlock? Or Tate xitter handle being COBRA Tate? If you look into it, dude has whole thing going on with snakes... What about his weird triangular hand symbol too. VC would've a field day making an article developing the theory that Tate is actually a plant seeking to breed chaos and gender wars - it would have made a lot of sense bc there's a lot of shady shit going on with Tate and how he's being wk'ed by the Conservative right when he's a British pimp living in Romania. Also wasn't his dad CIA? Reaaal shady shit going on... But VC won't cover that shit bc he's of his bias.. but don't worry he'll make a 567th article about celebrities hiding one eye and the awful LBGT+ propaganda because lf *checks notes* rainbow on a note book🙃

You'd think the way these people talk about feminism women were out there turning society upside down, hounding & harassing men....but nope. IDK for being so dangerous & radical, feminists seem to be very quiet 🤔 there's a reason those men have to look into movies and video games to claim oppression. The so called oppression they get from women doesn't translate IRL.

[wholemonsternut]

i was clipping my nails & i just remembered a story that made me very sensitive abt my my own nails ever since i was a kid haha

there is some gore to it so it is spooky month themed XD

i have those long nails where the nail bed goes all the way to the tip of the finger so that means any growth (the white free edge part) results in my nails sticking out like claws idk moving on...

bc of how it is, the very end of the nail bed is very exposed & be easily cut into. earlier this year, i was opening a box & i wasn't careful enough with where i placed my fingers so one of the corners wedged itself between my right ring finger nail & i bled a significant amount & i could've sworn if i had truly panicked & yanked my hand the wrong direction, half of the nail would be ripped off the flesh (that may have been dramatic but this is my post)

>>ANYWAY, that was just exposition just in case any of you friends don't know what it's like to have something like that because that is a key detail in this story

for some reason my teacher genuinely did not believe that such nails exist (in fairness, at 8yrs old, i have also yet to know anyone else with genetically long nails like mine, so i took her word for it), telling us that it is very unsanitary, unprofessional, & akin to school delinquents to have long nails so she insisted to clip my nails for me

after not only humiliating me amongst my other 8 yr old peers, i also had to stay after the class. she pulled out an assortment of nail clippers & nail files from her purse. & immediately grabs & manhandles my little childish fingers

starting with my right hand, she starts digging the nail clipper into my nail. shocked & ready to cry already, i told her that the nail clipper was too deep & tried to point out that it's gonna bleed while also trying to pull away but she just scoffed (or whatever you'd understand a "tch" as) & held me in a sort of headlock... it felt like i was a sheep being sheered

i wasn't sure what was scarier, the feeling of the large nail clipper being wedged between my nail & flesh that it might as well just pop the whole nail off or the top layer skin being actively cut & yet to bleed to signal to the teacher the she should stop

it took until the we're at the thumb until one of my finger tips are finally stained with blood to have her immediately stop. i was so relieved that it was over & that i still have time to suck up my tears before anyone noticed.

however to her, my fingers are only bleeding because i was moving a lot & making a fuss over nothing

about to move to the left hand, she gave me an opportunity to willingly give my hand without her needing to hold me still. me, being a powerless child, i quickly understood that i do not know how exactly to get out of this situation

so i very hesitantly laid my left hand onto her free hand which she then grabbed the fingers anyway ig because i was very obviously shaking. her grip gets stronger every time i so much as flinch

for some reason, this side hurts more & thinking back i think it's because earlier she was holding my wrist/fingers so tightly that i was kind of numb to the full pain

i had my eyes closed for the most part & heard her sweeping the table (to clean up the nail clippings). i didn't want to be hopeful that it was over like i was minutes ago but i stared at her movements for a few seconds to confirm that she was putting away her things.

standing from my seat, i was ready to run hoping that i could catch that one kid selling bandages but

"where do you have to be so quickly? sit first. i'm not done yet." (best translation i can do, sorry)

she taps the previously mentioned nail file. at this time of my life, i didn't know what those were so i had no idea what she was about to do with a foam stick covered in sandpaper

i had a more verbal reaction with this one. apparently i was being a "whiny, dirty, unkempt, spoiled brat" standing up for myself for not wanting someone to rub my wounds with sandpaper but tbh i think i was a more of a personal opinion

i managed to get out of this part of the manicure session by saying that recess was almost over & i was very hungry

i couldn't find that kid that sold bandages that day btw

thank you so much for joining me in my dramatic retelling of my childhood self's torture session <3

[ribombeee]

16, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, and 27 for the ask game? i love you!!! ❣️❣️❣️❣️

OK HERE WE GO!!

16. the book that made u fall in love with reading?

oh gosh. um. the first series i was every into as like a young young child was the little house on the prairie series but i think the first book/series i ever really liked for like the Themes and Artistry was the gregor the overlander series hot damn those books made me so upset as like an 8 year old child. if u remember i wanted to have my 9th birthday party be gregor the overlander themed. with like giant rats and cockroaches i guess. it would been fucking awesome

20. do u prefer audio books or e-books?

i read a lot of ebooks bc theyre the easiest format to get ahold of but i dont have fond feelings towards them. whereas i am a certified audiobookhead certified freak for audiobooks. bc i like reading while walking around or drawing and i like voice acting

21. hardcovers or paperbacks?

hardcovers for modern books bc im a book cover HATER if a cover is bad it will distract me and most hardcovers u can take the dust cover off and burn it as a sacrifice to Big Graphic Design. however in an ideal world with no hideously ugly covers i would read exclusively paperbacks small enough to fit in a hoodie pocket <3

22. a book that u hated at first but now love it?

this may be kind of a cop out answer but the translation of the odyssey i read in high school english was extremely boring and cliche and the version i read in college (tr. emily wilson) gave me a bit of a diff perspective… i still wouldnt say i love it but i have a healthy respect for it

23. a book u used to love but now hate?

i really dont know if i can think of an answer for this… i feel like even really stupid books i loved as a kid i can appreciate for what they are even if i wouldnt read them now

24. a book genre u haven't read? why?

idk if i have an answer for this one either?? umm i was gonna say i havent read steampunk but i actually totallly have OH i guess i havent read self help books. bc i think theyre stupid and unhelpful

25. a book that had u bawling ur eyes out?

by god. nona the ninth. literally perhaps the book on this earth that has made me the most upset. all 3 locked tomb books made me cry but for weeks after reading nona i would randomly start crying just thinking about how she never got to have her first birthday party and invite all the dogs. poor poor baby nona…… u also already know that i used to be completely unable to read like more than 3 lines into snow and dirty rain from richard siken’s crush without bursting into tears like a maniac that was very normal of me. average 15 year old experience

26. ur fav quote from a book?

many many many!!!! but the first one that comes to mind and the one i’ll go with is this fucking banger of a classic from tlhod thank u miss le guin thank u miss therem harth rem ir estraven

[uygfiug]

yeahhhh my school is pretty fucked up about a lot of things :) and i say this as someone who has seemingly never gone to a normal school ever, even the fucking crèche (is that a word in english?) i went to was fucked :)

yeahhh maybe its just bc im not that into film, but i dont care about most of the big stuff coming out now :( i think the last time i went was to see everything everywhere all at once (REALLY GOOD) + also i usually just wait until stuff gets put on my illegal film website :) yessss across the spiderverse was so good!!

its especially difficult bc its so hard for me to make new friends yknow? online is a lot easier bc im just immediately comfortable being open & as affectionate as i wish but irl i rarely ever feel comfortable for that, and thats also why my online friendships are often so close :) but it takes ages to even get past being really really quiet around new people & they just all find new people so quickly?

the fun thing about online friendships is also that theres a lot more time to hang out? bc theres no expectation of hanging out in person & finding time to call for like 10 minutes is a lot easier than finding time to hang out in person (+ i will also just stay up until like 3 am if i dont have school the day after if it means i get to hang out with friends) (and just for fun as well) i feel like theres a lot more pressure to be 'normal' irl while on the internet youre kinda automatically surrounded by weirdos if youre in the right circles

SAME!!! ive been looking into how to do it bc i thought i could try this summer :) i think its just important to feed them & not be mean & theyll associate you with food (which is good) i think shelled peanuts are good? im planning to buy some after the exams & just carry those around everywhere & if i see a crow near my house ill feed it a bit :)

my great grandma used to put all her breadcrumbs outside & then clap her hands and within minutes a bunch of birds would come eat them :)) thats what i aspire to be like

second hand stores are also just way more fun to be in? often theres less people, less bright lights, and a more cozy vibe? and you never know what you'll come across which is fun :) + theres only one of each item so a good find is way more special :)

oooooh thats so cool!! i found a shirt covered in lipstick kisses that i thought was funny recently :) i think i can go really over the top with it on valentines day :)

i hate motionsickness :(( our school trips are always several hours of bus and its horrible every time

...i zoomed in on england in google maps and ended up in 'Tongue end' upon looking around a bit more i came across 'Vulcan road north' which i thought you might like :) theres a whole bunch of places with kirk in the name as well :)

hm well i can give you a few things to associate with belgium :)

manneken pis (translates to little man pissing) is a fountain of a little boy pissing thats very well known here & a big tourists attraction. they put outfits on him sometimes

waffles, so many waffles

fries bc they were invented here :) idk why people call them french fries but we dont do that here

victor horta, one of the founders of art nouveau (best architecture style ever <33), made art nouveau a pretty big thing here for a while

réne magritte, surrealist, made surrealism a pretty big thing here for a while also

adolphe sax, inventor of the saxophone was also belgian :)

we have a few other big artists i believe, but those are the ones i care about :)

chocolate :) we're known for making really good chocolate, especially pralines

bandes dessinées, a specific style of comics thats really big here, think tintin, lucky luke & asterix :)

broke our own record for country to go the longest without a government :) 652 days i believe

hiya <3

how are ya? i like the new theme :)

i cant really think of another question to ask rn, so just tell me about anything you want? (or not if you dont feel like it ofc)

HELLOO!! <333333

thank you so much!! i love changing it around skfbsng

iii have been incapable of talking without mentioning wooden overcoats (new podcast i started listening to a week ago and have almost finished) because its so underrated and silly and heartfelt and hilarious and charming AUGH i love it so deaaarlyyyy it ssooosoosso

how have you been??? i also cant think of questions FJGBSN but i want to know anything

[here2bbtstrash]

Yoongi fingering u till u squirrttttttt

my god, anon. i don't know what to tell you. this was supposed to be a short lil drabble like the rest and then..... that that live yoongi happened and i. uh. my brain short-circuited. the thirst for this man overtook me. i think i just wrote the nastiest porn of my whole career lmao.

so anyway uhhhhhh - HOPE YOU ENJOY 🤪

pairing: yoongi x reader wordcount: 4.8k DO NOT FUCKING @ ME contains: my first ever OT7 scene :') ft. an incredibly dumb conversation abt squirting, best friend's friend to lovers (? idk what else to call it lmao), squirt god min yoongi (yes that's a warning), yoongi is in his that that live outfit bc i'm a menace to society, a lil bit of edging, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, and obv. a whoooole lot of tongue and finger fucking and SQUIRTING 💦💦💦

“Remember that girl I took home last night?”

You just know Taehyung is about to say something gross by the look in his eye, the way he bites down on the edge of his red solo cup as he glances around the circle of his friends.

Well, his friends and you. There’s a clear distinction.

A few heads nod, shoulders shrug. You brace yourself.

“Fucking geyser, I’m serious. Soaked my whole bed. I had to sleep on the couch.”

Hoseok’s loud cackle rings in your ears, and he has to cling to Jimin’s arm to stay upright, clearly already well past tipsy. “I was wondering why you were washing your sheets! That’s typically a once-a-year activity for you, Taehyung-ah!”

You make sure Seokjin doesn’t miss the death glare that you aim in his direction. He dragged you to this stupid party, said otherwise he’d spend the whole time in the corner reading webtoons on his phone. And now you have to tolerate the absolute fuckery of his nasty friends.

He grimaces a silent apology back at you, bringing one hand up to smack Tae firmly on the back of the head.

“She peed?!” Jungkook’s eyes are wide as he pauses with his own drink halfway to his mouth.

Everyone reacts at once: Hoseok quite literally doubles over, Taehyung fights to keep the corners of his mouth from turning up, Jimin gives an aggressive side-eye, Seokjin covers his face with his hand. Even Yoongi reacts, smiling a rare wide smile, shoulders shaking a little with laughter.

Namjoon takes the educational opportunity, clapping a hand firmly to Jungkook’s back. “Do you know what squirting is?”

You watch as Jungkook’s eyes flit across the circle. “I thought it was pee,” he admits, voice a little quieter this time.

“You are so fucking dumb,” Jimin says, shooting Jungkook a look of utter disgust. Hoseok is literally on the floor at this point.

“It’s, uh…” Namjoon makes a face as he searches for the right words. “Female ejaculate.”

“Girl cum?” Jungkook translates.

“I don’t care if it was piss, it was fucking hot,” Taehyung says as he downs the last of his drink.

“You’re disgusting,” Seokjin says with a shake of his head as he offers a hand to help Hoseok to his feet. Taehyung sticks his tongue out, waggling it side-to-side, which just sends Hoseok right back down again with another peal of laughter.

“I’ve never hooked up with a squirter,” Jungkook says softly, like he’s a little disappointed.

You open your mouth to speak up, as the only person with a vagina currently partaking in the conversation, but Yoongi beats you to it. “You just don’t know what you’re doing.”

His words surprise you for a second, but you shake it off and continue. “Not every girl can squirt. Most can’t.” You shrug slightly.

“That’s not true,” Yoongi counters, and you whip your head to look at him.

“What the fuck do you know, Min Yoongi?” The words leave your mouth before you can stop them. You don’t know why Seokjin thought it was a good idea to bring you around his friends, when he knows you have no filter.

Yoongi raises a hand, as if to signal that he’s not trying to fight. “I’m just saying. Once you learn what to do, anyone can get there. Just takes some patience. And a lot of foreplay. But I’ve never not made a girl squirt.”

You roll your eyes. “Well, I’ve never squirted.”

It takes a moment for you to realize what you’ve set yourself up for, and you have to fight the urge to clap a hand over your mouth. The same response ripples through the group a millisecond later: eyes widening, lips pursing in silent expressions of shock.

“I think I need another drink– should we all go?” Namjoon asks, extremely unsubtle.

Before you can scramble to even think, let alone say anything, he’s got his arms around Taehyung and Jungkook’s shoulders and is shoving them towards the kitchen. Seokjin and Jimin work together to peel Hoseok off the floor and quickly follow.

Which just leaves you, Yoongi, and a very interesting proposition.

“So, are we doing this?” You ask bluntly.

Yoongi shrugs. “Only if you want to.”

You shoot him a look. “Don’t act all shy now, squirt god!” He exhales a soft laugh, and you gesture to the stairs. “Lead the way.”

It’s only once you’re perched on the end of his bed, eyes roving over the minimal, clean space of his room, that your nerves start to betray you. Yoongi sets his drink on the dresser next to yours, then drops down beside you.

You stare at the floor, unsure of what to do next, vaguely aware of his bent knees poking out of the large holes in his light wash jeans. He gently rests a hand on your thigh, and you’re wound up enough that you flinch at his touch.

“We seriously don’t have to do this.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” You ask, feigning ignorance and trying to keep your voice from shaking.

“Might have something to do with the fact that this is the first one-on-one conversation we’ve ever had.”

You meet his gaze, a little surprised by the open expression on his face. You’ve always seen him as so reserved. “You don’t exactly say much.”

Yoongi shrugs like he can’t disagree. “Hard to get a word in with those guys sometimes.” He pauses, like he’s debating whether or not to keep talking, then continues. “And I figured Jin was playing some long game with you, so I was trying to be respectful.”

You make a face of sheer disbelief. “What?! Seokjin is my best friend, Yoongi. Period, end of sentence. It’s not like that and never has been.”

“Huh.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and you can’t read the expression on his face. You turn towards Yoongi, pulling one bent leg up on the bed to fully face him. “What was that noise supposed to mean?”

“That’s just… interesting.”

“Stop being cagey.” You drive a finger into his side and he squirms a little. “What’s interesting?” Does he know something about Seokjin that he’s keeping from you?

“Well, I was clearly operating under false pretenses. Otherwise I probably would’ve acted differently around you.”

“Differently how?” You quickly chase his vague statement, pushing him, trying to understand. Yoongi doesn’t respond immediately, but the bed shifts as he mirrors your position, turning to open himself up to you. “What would you have done, Yoongi?” You try again, getting frustrated.

A shiver runs down your spine as he brings a hand to gently cup your jaw, his touch feather-light. His thumb strokes over your cheek and you swear your heartbeat falters.

“This,” he says simply, his voice deeper than you’ve ever heard it. And then he brings his mouth to yours.

His lips are soft and warm as they brush over yours, if a little tentative, like he expects you to pull away at any second. But the heat of his mouth ignites a spark in your belly that you’re suddenly desperate for more of.

You move your mouth against his, chasing the feeling as you bring a hand to the nape of his neck. Your fingers wind through his dark hair– you’d noticed when he walked in the door tonight how long it’s gotten, had thought absent-mindedly to yourself that it looked good on him.

Your head spins. Min fucking Yoongi. How is this real life? You’d honestly never thought twice about him– just lumped him in with the rest of Seokjin’s dumb friends. It’s starting to occur to you that maybe overlooking him was a mistake.

That suspicion is confirmed when he slips his tongue into your mouth to slide expertly over yours.

You run your other hand up his chest, fingers tracing the buttons of his overshirt, then the smooth cotton of the tank top beneath it. The wet heat of his mouth is already making you dizzy.

Yoongi brings a hand to the small of your back, moving the other from your jaw down to meet it. He shifts a little, but he doesn’t break away from you, and you gasp softly into his mouth when both hands drop to your ass to pull you into his lap in one smooth motion. Your knees press into the mattress on either side of him, your hips settling on top of his.

He kisses you for a second longer, tongue stroking over yours deftly enough that you can barely suppress the whimper it works out of you. Then he finally pulls back to glance up at you. His lips are full and pink, his chest heaving with shallow breaths. The unbuttoned linen shirt he’s wearing has slipped off one shoulder, exposing smooth skin and solid muscle.

There’s a look on his face, mouth dropped open slightly, like he can’t quite believe this is really happening. You can relate.

“Still want to do this?” Yoongi asks quietly, voice still low and a little hoarse now. His hands are pressed to your hips, thumbs tracing light patterns over the fabric of your jeans.

You can hardly find your voice to speak– when the word comes out, it’s a whisper, and one you can’t say emphatically enough. “Yes.”

He tilts his head up towards you and your lips find his, needier this time. There’s an undeniable ache in your core now, desire spreading through you like a licking flame. Yoongi’s hands start to move over your back, dragging the hem of your shirt up, and you break away from him only for as long as it takes to peel it over your head. You press your mouth to his again before the fabric has even hit his bedroom floor.

Yoongi’s kisses are sloppier now, tongue tasting yours with added urgency, momentarily rendering you breathless. You follow his lead, hands grasping to push his overshirt down his arms, then reaching to tug at his tank top. It’s like you can’t move fast enough– you’re shaking a little as he leans back, raising his arms to allow you to pull it off. You feel the heat of his touch at the center of your spine, and then he’s slipping your bra off, too, everything tossed off the edge of the bed to join your shirt.

The brush of his hands over your bare skin, running up the curve from your hip to your waist, is enough to make you shiver under his palms, nipples tightening.

Yoongi licks his lips as his eyes roam appreciatively over your body, but then his gaze meets yours again, and in a way this moment of anticipation feels more intimate than anything you’ve done tonight. You in his lap, both of you naked from the waist up, faces flushed with heat and want. Hovering at the precipice of something you don’t have words for.

“Lay down for me,” he says quietly. The darkness of his voice thrums through you.

You do as he says, thighs shaking slightly as you slide off of him and move to settle against the soft pillows with a slow inhale. You can only watch, dazed, as Yoongi gets to his feet– you swallow hard at the sound of his belt hitting the floor. He slips out of his ripped jeans, down to just his black boxer-briefs.

When he crawls up the bed to join you, you’re transfixed by the way his silver necklaces dangle, catching the dim lamplight. He kneels to one side of you, hands coming to unbutton the fly of your jeans and push them down your thighs. You do the rest, peeling them all the way off and tossing them to the floor.

His hands slide up your thighs, one encouraging your legs apart while the other rubs gently back and forth, his touch sending sparks through you. You can feel your heartbeat at the center of your ribcage, swear you can see it in the rise and fall of your chest as you glance up at him looking down over you.

“Stop me if you’re going to come, okay?”

You nod your understanding, but he must be able to read the confusion painted on your face. He shifts up the bed to lean over you, his breath ghosting along the shell of your ear.

“Save it for me, and I’ll show you what that pussy can do.”

Yoongi chases the words with a languid stripe licked up your neck, and it’s enough to make your brain short-circuit.

Never in your life has a man preemptively warned you to not come. Most of them have struggled to make it happen at all. You can’t help but wonder if you really did underestimate Yoongi’s abilities.

It certainly feels that way as he continues to press hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck and chest, bringing one hand to gently cup and massage your breast as he goes, the pad of his thumb circling your nipple. His mouth catches up to his touch, and he sucks in the bud of that breast while his hand moves to work the other just the same.

“Fuck, Yoongi,” you breathe.

Everything he’s doing is intoxicating, enough that there’s now a steady pulse emanating from between your legs. When he shifts to pull your other breast into his mouth, tongue swirling over your nipple in a way that makes you whimper and arch into him, he drops one of his legs down onto the mattress between your thighs.

You take advantage of the opportunity presented to you, thighs squeezing and hips canting up to drag your core over the smooth muscle of his leg, desperate for contact, for friction. Yoongi releases your nipple from between his teeth, giving a self-satisfied hum that you can feel buzz in his throat against your skin.

“Getting worked up already?” His words are punctuated by the kisses he trails down the valley between your breasts. “Keep going,” he urges.

Your mind is swimming with arousal, and each pass of your cunt over his thigh is enough to further dampen your now soaked-through panties. You’re not sure how much more worked up you could get. But Yoongi is clearly determined to find your limit.

When he shifts to move his mouth further down your body, he quickly replaces the thigh you’ve been grinding into with his hand, cupping over your center, his whole palm rubbing circles into the lace of your panties that make your clit twitch. You writhe under him as he sucks a mark into your hip bone, pulling sounds out of you: a mixture of heady groans at the welcome friction and soft whines at how indirect the pressure still is. You need more, more– you lift up to press your hips into his touch in search of relief. 

All too quickly, the motion of his palm stills, and you can’t help the strangled noise that escapes you. Both of his hands slip down your body, coming to rest at your hips, and his thumbs hook under your panties to push them down your thighs.

You fumble for a second, lifting your knees up to your chest to finish pulling your underwear over your ankles. As you fling your last article of clothing off the side of the bed and attempt to lower your legs down, you’re surprised to feel Yoongi’s hands pressing firmly into the backs of your thighs.

“Stay just like that,” he instructs, and you listen, crossing your ankles and following the encouragement of his touch to keep your legs pulled up, your bare cunt fully exposed for him.

You don’t know what to expect next– his fingers, maybe his tongue– but it’s certainly not what he does, which is look up at you and calmly ask, “How do you feel?”

Your answer is not a word in any language; it’s somewhere between a moan and a noise of pure frustration. Folded in half for him like this, you swear you can feel arousal starting to drip out of your pussy.

“That’s pretty good,” Yoongi remarks, lazily bringing one hand up to encircle your ankle in his grasp, enjoying his free rein over your body as it’s offered up to him. Even that gentle touch is enough to make your cunt clench around nothing. “But I think we can do better.”

You nod your head in a silent request as you watch him lean down onto the mattress, lowering himself to be eye-level with your pussy. “Haven’t even tasted you yet.”

“Please, Yoongi,” you gasp, and you can feel his breath over you, the heat and anticipation sending a bolt of electricity straight to your core.

“Just remember to stop me,” he warns, and then he leans forward to lick a thick stripe up your cunt. You cry out at the sensation, the wetness and warmth of his tongue sliding through your folds, and your head kicks back against the pillow as you feel his fingers gently part your inner lips for better access.

He pulls away for a fraction of a second, just long enough to hum softly and murmur “so fucking wet” under his breath. Your hands grip the bedsheets as he dives back in with even more enthusiasm, spreading you wide open.

The heat he’s been building up in you all night is coiling devastatingly tight in your core now– your head is spinning, your nipples so stiff that they ache. The thought of asking him to stop, and probably soon, from how deliberately he’s eating you out, feels nearly impossible.

Yoongi seems to settle in as he falls into a pattern with his movements: lazily circling your entrance a few times before delving in and fucking you all-too-briefly with his talented tongue, enough to make your walls squeeze greedily around him. After a few more thrusts he withdraws, using a long lick to drag your collected wetness up, his tongue pressing flat and heavy. When he reaches your clit he flicks gently over the sensitive bud a few times, eventually pulling it into his mouth to suck, eliciting a loud moan from you.

“Oh fuck, fuck, Yoongi–”

You swear you can feel him smiling smugly as he returns to your entrance to start again, somehow both sloppy and precise, humming a little in a way that sends a devastating wave of vibrations through you.

He keeps everything so slow it’s nearly torture, building up the tightening pressure inside of you a little more with each pass, but purposefully never staying so consistent that you tip over the edge– just leaving you wet enough to drown in. You can’t stop the moans and whimpers he pulls out of you now, the way your hips jerk under his mouth.

He’s fucking good at this.

You lose track of how many times he goes through the process, until you’re wound so tight with arousal you think you might burst.

“Yoongi,” you whine, and he must be able to hear the change in your voice.

Yoongi’s mouth freezes, lips still wrapped around your clit. His hands move to your thighs, gently ushering your feet to return to the mattress on either side of his head, your legs still spread wide, so he can see you. He hums around you as if to ask a question, and your hips shudder beneath him.

That must be a good enough answer, because he pulls off of you, reaching up to wipe an errant strand of slick from his bottom lip. Everything about him in this moment makes your pussy throb: his mouth, nose and chin are all coated in your juices, the results of his efforts, and his pupils are blown black with lust and something that looks like determination.

You have no idea how long it’s been since you disappeared up the stairs together. Hours, maybe days. Yoongi certainly looks like he could do this forever.

“Gonna come?” He murmurs, nuzzling his cheek absent-mindedly against your inner thigh as he holds your gaze.

“I–” He hasn’t let you get that close yet, but you feel so fucking full, like your core isn’t capable of holding onto any more pleasure. “I can’t take any more,” you say, and the desperation in your own voice sounds so ridiculous to you that you let out a crazed laugh. “I’m gonna fucking die, Yoongi.”

“Yeah?” There’s a glint in his eyes, like he’s not going to let you tap out that easily. “What if I do this?”

His tongue returns to your clit, but this time he’s no longer teasing. His rhythm is consistent now, lapping against you in short, deliberate strokes, over and over. You can feel every muscle in your core tensing as he works you relentlessly towards your peak.

When your back starts to arch, it takes everything in you to say his name. “Yoongi,” you gasp, and he knows you’re about to come, must be able to tell by the way you start to shake underneath him. You cry out a sound that’s nearly a sob when he pulls back quickly and everything comes to a screeching halt. It’s like you can feel your orgasm being ripped out from under you.

“Oh my god,” you whine, hips grinding down into the mattress, desperate for any possible friction. “I’m so fucking close, Yoongi, please.”

His eyes linger hungrily over your pussy, the mess he’s made of you. Keeping his touch light, he gently traces a finger over your inner lips, clearly admiring the way it makes you tremble.

“Seems like you’re ready.”

You’d almost forgotten the point of all of this, the initial conversation in the kitchen, the fact that the man now lazily running a finger through your dripping folds is supposedly capable of making anyone squirt and that you are putting him to the test. You already believe it wholeheartedly– you’re just not sure you’ll survive long enough to see it.

Yoongi sits up, shifting to kneel to one side of you, hands encouraging your legs to spread even wider. When he starts to speak, you try as best you can to focus on his words, dizzy as you are with overwhelming need.

“I’m gonna press pretty hard, okay? When it feels like you have to pee, push it out instead of trying to hold it in. I promise, it’s not pee.” He pauses, laughing softly to himself, then adds, “And if it is, honestly, I don’t give a fuck.”

You look up at him, your mind reeling, and you’re not expecting it when he ducks down to kiss you. You taste yourself on his lips and tongue.

“Don’t be nervous,” he murmurs as he pulls back. “Just relax and let go. I’ll go until you tell me to stop.” Your heart flutters a little behind your ribs at the softness in his voice, and you nod.

Your breath hitches as you feel Yoongi’s hand return to your center, two fingers moving down slowly to tease at your entrance. The fire in your belly ignites at the soft squelching noise he makes as he circles, just shy of entering you, dampening his digits with your juices.

Relief washes through you as he presses in, and you tip your head back on the pillow with a soft groan. Your lashes flutter as you fight to keep your eyes open, heavy-lidded with lust, to watch him at work.

“Shit,” you hiss as he curls his fingers up to press against your front wall, finding your g-spot like someone who knows exactly what he’s doing. He pushes harder, falling into a steady rhythm, and the pleasure feels like a heavy weight in your gut now. A tingling sensation starts to hum through your limbs.

You’re panting, nearly gasping for breath as he rubs against you, each thrust of his hand accompanied by the slick sounds of your cunt. Your abdomen tightens as the pressure in your core builds, and you really do feel like you’re going to burst, overflow completely.

“Yoongi,” you breathe, “I–I’m– I’m gonna–”

“Push,” he reminds you, and you do just that as the wave crashes over you. A release like nothing you’ve ever felt before rips through you, and you’re so overcome by the feeling that it takes you a few seconds to remember to look down. Shakily tilting your head up, you see clear fluid gushing out of you each time Yoongi pulls back.

When he sees you’re watching, he withdraws entirely, bringing four soaked fingers to your clit to rub fast circles that make you moan loudly as your muscles spasm again. Without his hand there to block it, you watch as an unbroken stream of fluid rushes out of you, spraying over the sheets of his bed.

“Oh my god,” you whine, and you have to tilt your head back and squeeze your eyes shut for a moment just to focus on the feeling alone. “Oh my god.”

Yoongi makes a little noise of appreciation, fingers returning to your entrance, the wet sounds of your cunt now obscene as he pushes in again. “Fuck yeah. So fucking sexy.”

You arch up into his touch as he resumes the firm stroking of his fingers, pounding into your g-spot, hard enough to make your legs shake. When another wave of pleasure rolls through you, you don’t even have to think about it this time. Your body instinctively remembers Yoongi’s instructions, bursts of arousal shooting out of you as you moan softly with each pump of his hand.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” you gasp in time with his movements.

“Holy shit,” Yoongi rasps as he draws his fingers out again, and you hear him groan when he returns to your clit and easily works even more wetness out of you. “You just keep fucking coming. Gonna soak my fucking sheets.”

You can barely process what he’s saying. “M-more, Yoongi, please.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, “I’ll give you more.” He adds another finger, driving the thrust of his hand deliberately into the weight at the center of your core, and the stretch only makes you come that much faster. Your pussy starts to quiver as he fucks you through it.

“Yoongiiiii,” you groan, dragging out his name as you squirt again and again. He keeps alternating, fingers slipping into you and working up more, then pulling out to press his hand flat against your whole pussy, rubbing indirectly over your clit. Wetness splashes out of you in endless spurts, soaking your cunt, his hand, the bed. It feels like you're coming for hours.

“No more, no more,” you finally gasp, and when you bring your hand to close over his wrist, Yoongi takes the cue and withdraws.

Your pussy, thighs, even the muscles in your ass are all trembling from overstimulation. As your knees drop in towards each other, you take a moment to let your eyes close, your pulse still racing. You feel absolutely spent.

You can’t believe you just did that. You had no idea your body was capable of such a thing. And before you can even think to stop it, you start to laugh, bringing both hands up to cover your face.

“Oh my god,” you manage to choke out between giggles, your voice muffled in your palms.

You’re vaguely aware of the mattress shifting beside you, and when you pull your hands away, Yoongi is seated next to you, running one hand gently over your arm. “Jesus, are you okay?” When you nod, he seems to relax a little.

“Yeah, but holy shit,” you gasp. “I should’ve taken you more seriously.” Your limbs feel like jello, your mind absolutely gone– you’ve officially been fingerfucked into oblivion. “I nearly died.”

“That was fucking insane,” Yoongi admits, looking mildly dazed himself. You follow his gaze across the bedspread, and your eyes go wide.

“Oh fuck, Yoongi,” you press a hand to your mouth, attempting to hold back more laughter, as you take in the extent of the damage. “Your sheets!”

A sizable wet spot has bloomed under your ass, right in the center of the bed and extending nearly half a foot down towards the end, clear as day against his gray-blue sheets.

“Why didn’t you stop me?!”

“Are you kidding?” He practically growls, free hand palming at the bulge in his briefs. “I’ll take watching you gush like that any day. I can sleep on the couch, I don’t give a fuck.”

It takes all the strength you can muster, given that your limbs still feel like they’re made of lead, but you manage to roll over onto your side to face him. You catch his working hand by the wrist with yours. “There’s always… my bed.”

“Yeah?” A smile plays at the corner of his mouth. “Think your pussy can recover on the ride over?”

You laugh softly, glancing down at the mess he’s made of you, the lingering sheen from his mouth and your own fluids. “I’m honestly not sure. She might be out of commission.” You do your best to feign innocence when you meet his gaze again with a coy smile. “But my throat is very available.”

Yoongi is already reaching for his jeans. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

[neocrush]

— the girl groups enhypen’s gfs are in !

genre: fluff (angst on jungwon’s part) + established relationship (eventually lol)

pairings: idol!enhypen x fem!idol!reader

note: idk how to title this pls i thought of it while showering

tagging: @jeminiepabo @strwberrydinosaur

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

so yves told you to ask for some from the artist in the dressing room next to yours

you knocked on the door without looking at the sign that showed who was in there

you asked for some water bottles and heeseung went “i’ll go get it!” and ran off to go get get them

jungwon just chuckled and went “hyung’s a really huge fan of your group, he kept on singing star on the way here”

you nodded at the younger one, impressed at the fact that you were popular among idols

the tall boy came back with a whole box full of water bottles

“there’s 12 of you here right now so i figured why not get a whole box” he chuckled nervously

you giggled and smiled at the nervous boy

“thank you heeseung-ssi, i’ll take this to my members” you took the box in your hands but was taken aback on how heavy it was

“don’t worry i’ll carry it for you”

long after that you started hanging out and boom you became his gf

you couldn’t resist the charms of lee heeseung

once it was revealed that you were a couple, orbits and engenes went INSANE (in a good way ofc)

“wait so y/n DOESNT hate men????”

★ jay - aespa

OMG OMG LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BBY

you both met at school after you both debuted

everyone was gossiping around about how you were in the same class with the enhas

so like... monster rookies class

usually idols aren’t seated together but the teacher seated you and jay next to each other

causing a bunch of “oooohhhs” from your classmates

there were times were you and the enhas would leave school early due to practice or schedules

and on the way to the school gate, jay would always spark up a conversation with you

you assumed he was just very friendly

long story short he had a massive crush on you

so a few months into your friendship (which the both of you were very open about with your fans), he confesses

you were like “WAIT SO IT WASNT ONE SIDED THE WHOLE TIME”

y’all were just really blind lol pls read between the lines

anyways on to ur lovely bf !!

he’s so bold and brave around you but so shy around your members and seniors

we all know how he really respects nct (along with other sm artists) bc he covered the 7th sense with sunghoon on iland

so one day you were like “oh btw i showed taeyong sunbae you and hoon’s t7s cover”

he was like 😟 to 😧 to 😯

got all shy and was like “oh what did he say..”

you don’t know why he was acting as if he didn’t body that whole performance ????

anyway you told him that taeyong said that he and hoon did really well and that he liked how jay did his part

hid his face on the crook of your neck

“baby we should come say hi to them next time you go to sm”

“NO i will make a fool out of myself”

speaks english and japanese with giselle a lot when he isn’t occupied with you

sometimes you’d even have to ask nct’s shotaro to translate

your seniors (especially exo’s kai) adore him so so much pls protect the boy at all costs

★ jake - everglow

he was an active viewer of produce 48 and (like me) was really attached to the yuehua trainees

especially you

so when you got eliminated just before the last episode, he was devastated to say the least

he awaited your debut and when the time came he supported everglow !!!!

LOVED BON BON CHOCOLAT SO MUCH

does the killing part choreo in his room when no one’s watching lol

dies everytime you do the little “everglow” in songs

right so when he debuted in enha, he looked forward to meeting you as an idol and not a fan

when you shared a dressing room at kcontact, he couldn’t help but introduce himself to you

he mentioned he was a big fan and your heart warmed

cute boy is a fan of you? omg heart go brr brr

your members tease you and you just shake it off

that day when you got back to the dorms, you watched a bunch of enhypen videos bc you were interested in jake

you weren’t aware of how popular you were among people - let alone idols so you were surprised

you fell in love with his personality and started saying hi to him whenever you meet backstage at music shows

not long after, you develop feelings for him

you thought it was just a puppy crush but as you saw him even more, it got serious

you never actually confessed but aisha accidentally spilled the beans when he was passing by

“cmon y/n just tell him you like him because he clearly feels the same !!”

“you like me?”

“AISHA”

“that’s my queue to leave”

so she leaves you two to pour your hearts out to each other

you two become a couple and forevergenes (such a cute name omg) LOVE you two

you’re both the puppies of your group so that makes your relationship 103892x cuter

you met his parents and they adore you and even asked for your autograph

“jake used to talk about how great you are after every produce 48 episode”

“okayyyy i think that’s enough embarassing me mom”

his parents love you like their own daughter but does layla love you?

you were so nervous to meet her and was actually scared she might not like you - knowing how important layla is to jake

at first layla ignored you and jake was like “she’ll come around”

you were convinced she just doesn’t like you, until this one time you were cuddling with jake on the couch and layla comes in

you expected her to snuggle up with jake but she came to you :D

now layla is super fond of you and mrs sim would even send you pictures and videos of layla getting excited whenever you were on tv 🥺

★ sunghoon - itzy

you and the girls were at isac

the six of you were just waving at your fans and making heart signs with your hearts

on your left you saw yeji making hearts with ryujin so you wanted to do that with another member too

you felt a presence next to you and assumed it was someone from your group

spoiler alert: it wasn’t

sunghoon and sunoo were waving at engenes who just happened to be seated next to midzys

so you turned to who you thought was an itzy member, making half a heart with your hand

until you realized it wasn’t 💀

you bowed and apologized when you both looked at each other, you were scared you crossed a boundary

you bowed and apologized to the engenes who were there too

sunghoon and sunoo reassured you it was all good

after that, sunghoon couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you the entire event

when the day was coming to an end, he pulled some strings and ended up having some alone time with you ...in stray kids’ dressing room

don’t ask

ofc skz already left so it was just you two there

fast forward, you both hit it off and he became your bf <3

midzys and engenes love you both sm and love bragging about you two to other fandoms

you two were even named the king and queen of 4th gen kpop

oh also

you already know where this is going

“SUNGHOON HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW NOT SHY’S PROPER TITLE IT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S SONG” - jay

brags about how he can do the shoulder dance in wannabe

ofc it’s bc you personally taught him

sends you pics of jyp as reaction pics

so you send pics of bang pdnim to him

every once in a while he reminds you of that video of jay why pee trying to hit a high note

“lmao that’s your boss”

PLS you always get super embarrassed so ofc you bring up that vid of hitman bang

“rAp dAncE-“

★ sunoo - stayc

you were his seatmate at school predebut

you came from the same town, same school, same neighborhood, etc

the two of you were extremely close and both shared the same dream

when highup entertainment accepted you, the both of you were over the moon

he was so happy for you

but sad too bc that meant you had to move to seoul :(

you promised him to do your best and that you hoped to see him again but as an idol

and hopefully when he’s an idol too

well what you hoped for came true !!

although you couldn’t see him much as a trainee - which made you quite sad - you got to follow his journey on i-land

you even asked your fellow trainees to vote for him

anyways now that you both debuted, you became close again and became really open with your fans on how close you were

you recommended his songs to swiths and he did the same to engenes

he even memorized the choreo to so bad and asap and lemme tell you this

he BEGGED you to teach him those choreos

“sunoo you can watch the practice on youtube”

“but i want to learn it from you”

he never really realized his feelings until he saw you getting shipped with his other members

you were both on weekly idol and the hosts really seemed to like how you and jake looked next to each other and they just teased you both the whole episode

that made sunoo feel uneasy and he thought it was only bc he was an overprotective best friend

turns out he had feelings for you (wow shocker)

so one day he asks you to come to hybe

after slightly getting lost, you meet up with him in a practice room

he confesses bc he felt like not telling you about his feelings would put a wall between you two

you appreciate his honesty and tell him you’ve felt the same way every since you were classmates

he scolds himself for not seeing it all those years but you just laugh it off bc you were pretty good at hiding your crush

you both agree to secretly date, until you both announce it on your five month anniversary

fans were really shocked at first... but they support you !!!!

engenes will not hesitate to come at anyone who talks bad about you and swiths feels the same way about jungwon

he gushes about you every single time you’re brought up

and you can’t help but love your adorable boyfriend

★ jungwon - iz*one

okay so

he was just an average high schooler when you were introduced on produce 48

his deskmate was watching your audition video and it was the part where you were doing this freestyle

he was SO amazed and he secretly followed your journey on produce 48

always made sure to vote on time and watch the episodes live

once the debut evaluation came around, he asked everyone he knew to vote for you and even bought tickets to see the show live

almost cried when he saw that you were center

ACTUALLY CRIED when you got into the top 13 😭

fast forward to him debuting in enha

he wasn’t able to catch up on you since he was busy with trainee life, then i-land, then debut preparations

but somehow in the middle of promotions he ran into you and BOOM love at first sight

fast forward to you finally dating, he couldn’t believe he was dating the y/n of iz*one

wizones make those “ladies and gentlemen, y/n’s man” edits and engenes make those “ladies and gentlemen, jungwon’s woman” edits

both fandoms love you two so dearly that the only hate you two got were from the delusional ones (who clearly aren’t actual fans)

when your last concert came around, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry when you said “this has been iz*one’s y/n, thank you everyone!”

he got flashbacks from when you cried during the final episode of produce 48 and he’s just.. sobbing bc he couldn’t be there to hold you

so the next day he rushed to your dorms with snacks and emotional support bc you were emotionally exhausted from accepting the fact that your journey with iz*one is finally ending

you felt extremely lucky to be in his arms and he felt extremely lucky too that he’s able to make you feel a little better

★ riki - weeekly

you were both on weekly weeekly idol together

and both you and riki being main dancers, you were asked to do random dance together

a few popular songs played and the both of you did the choreos

until after school started playing and the boy did the chorus’ choreo and you were like “woah???”

bc he was so INTO ITTTT

the song was basically made for him to cover it

and the mcs saw your reaction so they asked him to do it once again but this time with the whole group

after filming, he came up to you and was like “i’m a huge fan of yours” and you’re just like ):&/£]>\**_£]

“woah really???? i rooted for you on i-land”

and his face just lights up bc his huge crush on you developed even more

you became besties since then but he didn’t ask you out until your birthday

he took you out to a puppy café, knowing you were obsessed with dogs

you’d ask him to show you pictures and videos of bisco

“i better meet bisco once we go to japan together”

melted at the thought of traveling to his hometown with you

anyways

once you left the café, he kissed you in front of your dorms

and somehow he became your boyfriend <3

riki as a bf isn’t really a very public person

he’s the “this is our relationship, not the public’s” type of person

he doesn’t wanna risk companies wanting to exploit your relationship

although he doesn’t talk about you two much, he loves to brag about you when given the chance

whenever variety show hosts would fawn over you he’d just look them in the eyes dead and go “she’s mine”

[fortheloveofwonderland]

A Memory Locked In The Heart - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - Requested by the lovely @overduelibrarybooks I hope this was the kind of thing you were looking for!

Find my masterlist here.

My taglists are open and requests are open.

Requested: Yes l No

Request: "could u ever write a spencer reid x reader where reader def works for the cia but more as a translator who’s kinda forced into doing agenty things in order to gather intel and on a mandated break she finds out the UNSUB before the team does so she uses herself as bait, and shoots the guy all very badass fashion n then gets interrogated bc ms girl just shot him coldblood and halfway thru she recognizes spencer bc her mother and his mom lived in the same care facility??? idk sorry my mom has paranoid too so it just hits different but u don’t have to write this if u don’t want to i love ur writing <3"

CW: disclaimer: I know next to nothing about the CIA and what they investigate so please go easy on me here. This is all made up so hopefully it makes some kind of sense. Mentions of violence and sex work, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, some swears. Mentions of drug use and overdose. Spanish used towards the end is from Google Translate so I apologise if it isn’t completely accurate. Italics indicate flashbacks.

Plot: Eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.

WC: 5.3K

—————————————————————

How did I end up here?

That was a question you kept asking yourself as you rolled into your third hour of sitting in that cold, dimly lit interrogation room at the FBI headquarters in Quantico, Virginia.

Well you supposed you’d have to go back to the beginning to truly work that out.

The CIA and FBI joint task force for a country wide sex trafficking ring they believed to be operating out of DC.

When your team at the CIA had started investigating it was estimated that the ring had close to a hundred women who had been abducted and forced into the sex industry.

A lot of women were believed to have been taken trying to cross the border. Your job as a translator had involved spending a lot of time in Mexico, helping interview witnesses and family members who didn’t speak English.

The FBI involvement had come when women believed to have been part of the trafficking ring started turning up dead.

At last count they were up to twenty bodies. The Behavioural Analyst Unit had given their profile of the man they believed to be running the show.

White male in his mid to late forties. Bilingual. Possibly born in Mexico or an area surrounding the border but grew up in DC, they assumed based on his knowledge of the area. He’s attractive, charming and has a good level of education, he’d need to be able to charm the women into trusting him. He doesn’t have a full time job because he wouldn’t have time for one. All his time and focus goes on his girls. He was tech savvy, incredibly so, he’d have to be, to be able to set up the network on the dark web which enabled his customers to pay for his services.

It hadn’t been going well. Bodies kept dropping and the task force was no closer to catching the person responsible.

This went on for six months. Everyone was exhausted. You kept hitting brick wall after brick wall. It was demoralising.

Your boss had called for mandated time off. You’d all argued but she had been absolutely adamant. You’d all been working yourselves to the bone and she didn’t want you burnt out entirely.

You’d argued but your words had fallen on deaf ears.

“Can I get you a glass of water or something?”

The voice startled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see the lanky, messy haired agent who called himself Doctor Reid, sticking his head through the door.

“Is coffee an option?”

He smiled brightly at you, a smile you swear you’ve seen before.

“Coffee is always an option.” He told you. “How do you take it?”

“Strong and black. Please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

With that the door closed leaving you to your thoughts once more.

There was something so familiar about the Doctor. His dark yet sparkling eyes, his awkward smile and the way he dressed. You couldn’t place it. But there was definitely something about him that stirred some memory buried deep in your brain. You just weren’t sure what it was.

He returned a few minutes later, bringing your coffee into the room and placing it on the table in front of you.

“Hopefully you won’t be stuck here too much longer. It’s just standard procedure.” he spoke sweetly, his voice stirring the hidden memory.

“Yeah I know. I get it.” you sighed as you spoke, wrapping your hands around the coffee. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome.” he smiled before he started backing out of the room. You wished you could ask him to stay because you felt so much more at ease with him around. But you knew you couldn’t.

He turned to you in the doorway.

“You look cold in that.” He smiled a little sadly at you.

You’d forgotten about your outfit choice. No self respecting CIA agent dressed like you were right now.

“I guess I am a little.” You shrugged.

Spencer instantly shrugged his blazer off of his shoulders and laid it in front of you on the table.

“Thank you Doctor Reid.” you spoke again before he disappeared out the door.

“Goodbye Agent Y/L/N.”

The door closed, his voice reverberating in your ears, dragging you into a long forgotten memory.

As you slipped his jacket on, your eyes fluttered closed, his scent wafting up your nose.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your eyes shot back open, a frown on your face.

“Spencer?” you muttered under your breath. “Spencer Reid.”

Where had you pulled that name from? And why did it feel oddly connected to Vegas?

You tried to push the thought away, you already had enough on your mind. There were much more pressing things to deal with than a vague memory from your hometown an undetermined amount of time ago.

***

You’d been instructed to switch off. Your time off should be used to recoup, relax and not to think about the case.

Easier said than done you thought.

Before you’d left the office on your mandated leave you’d taken photocopies of some files and slipped them into your bag. You knew you’d be in trouble if you were caught but you couldn’t help yourself. You wouldn’t be able to relax with this case still open.

As far as you were aware the BAU was still working on it but it provided you little comfort. In your time with the CIA you’d never gotten to be involved so heavily in a case. Your skills were mostly utilised in interview capacities and then you were sidelined.

You’d never had the privilege to work on a joint task force or investigate a crime so brutal.

You felt personally invested in this case. You thought if you could just find that one missing puzzle piece you could crack this case wide open.

And then you’d found it. The golden ticket. The smoking gun. The missing piece.

It had taken five days of your leave and copious amounts of coffee but you’d connected the dots no one else had.

You knew how to draw the unsub out. And you were going to do it tonight.

***

“Let’s start again from the beginning shall we?” Agent Rossi linked his fingers together on top of the table as he looked across at you, still slowly sipping your coffee.

“Oh goody.” You sighed. “Could Agent Jareau not fill you in what I’ve already told her?”

“Humour me.” The old man shrugged.

You didn’t have any ill will against him. Far from it. You were actually a big fan of David Rossi. But you were sick and tired of being treated like a criminal.

“Tell me how you managed to work out how to find him.”

You took another long sip of the coffee.

“All the pieces were there, they just hadn’t been put into place.”

“And how did you piece them together?”

“There was a pattern to where the women had been last seen. It was a guess more than anything. A lucky guess.”

“And the pattern was?”

You sighed in frustration.

“As I told agent Jareau,” you sipped your coffee. “The bars they were last seen in all had ties to Mexico. I’m not a native to DC but I know the area like the back of my hand. They were all either Mexican owned, had a Mexican name or were previously establishments such as Mexican restaurants. I made an educated guess that he frequented places such as these looking for his targets. I just got lucky I picked the right one.”

***

You felt incredibly exposed, but you supposed that was the point.

If you were going to get this guy's attention, you had to do this right.

It was a long shot. Just because Western’s bar was known for its famous tacos did not mean it would be the place he chose to pick up girls.

You just had to hope.

You wore a skimpy skirt that barely covered your ass, knee high boots and a crop top that accentuated your assets.

Your firearm was hidden in your left boot.

Your outfit garnered a lot of looks as you headed through Westerns towards the bar.

You felt men’s eyes on you from every angle, making you feel extremely self conscious. But you needed to keep your cool, exude confidence.

If your guy was here he needed to see you shine.

You ordered a soda to keep your head clear and sat at a table over the far side of the bar. From there you had a good view of the entrance and most of the room. And more importantly, the room had a view of you.

Three hours you sat there nursing your soda. It was a huge stab in the dark, you weren’t really surprised.

You finished your drink and headed out onto the cool DC street.

You made it five steps before you felt a presence behind you.

Just as you were about to turn, something covered your mouth.

You struggled against a pair of strong arms.

A smell wafted up your nose seconds before you lost consciousness.

Chloroform.

***

“Why didn’t you tell your unit chief before you went in?”

“Because I thought it was a long shot.” And because she would have been furious I was working the case.

“So you chose to use yourself as bait?”

“Yes.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“Do you know how dangerous that could have been?” Rossi raised an eyebrow at you.

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Yes agent Rossi, I’m well aware. But I had a lead and I wasn’t going to ignore it.” You pulled Doctor Reid’s jacket tighter around your scantily clad body.

You caught his scent again. Coffee. Old books. A hint of peppermint.

Another long shut off memory wormed it’s way to the surface.

“So are you here visiting someone?”

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly. “My mom.”

“Oh.” He returned your sad smile. “Me too.”

“Agent Y/L/N?”

You were brought back by Rossi’s concerned voice.

“Hmm?”

“I said, what happened next? You were chloroformed and then what?”

You shook your head, your mind clouded.

“Can we take a break? I could really use some air.”

Rossi sighed with a small nod.

He stood from his chair and motioned you to follow him.

You got some odd looks from his fellow agents as he led you to the elevators. They all recognised what you were wearing as Spencer’s jacket.

You followed Rossi into the elevator and he pressed the button for the ground floor.

“Agent Rossi, can I ask you a strange question?” You asked as the doors closed.

He gave you a curious look.

“I suppose.”

“Doctor Reid. As in Spencer Reid?”

“The one and only.” Rossi frowned unsure what you were getting at.

“Where is he from?”

Rossi’s frown deepened, not sure he should tell you such things about his team. But you were an agent and you didn’t pose a threat to the team.

“Vegas I believe.”

Vegas. Of course.

“Ok.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” You chewed your lip. “I think I might have known him.”

“Oh?”

You wished you hadn’t opened your mouth. This was not the time or place.

“I’m probably wrong. Just forget I said anything.”

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. As you stepped out you pulled Spencer’s collar to your nose and sniffed it.

No you weren’t wrong.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Hi again.” You smiled at the lanky man, Spencer you’d met a few days ago. “How’s your mom?”

“Still angry at me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and stubbed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“She came in recently?”

“Yeah a few months ago. I turned eighteen and I was able to have her put into care.” He blanched, clearly feeling guilty for his decision.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

“Uhm sure.” He shrugged.

He followed you through to the day room. It was late and there were only a few patients inside and a few nurses milling around.

You got two cups of coffee from the machine and the two of you sat at a table together.

“Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with your mom?” You dared as you slid him the drink.

He sighed heavily, gnawing on his bottom lip as though his life depended on it.

“She’s a paranoid schizophrenic.” He spoke clinically, words he’d had to say too many times in his life. It was as though he’d distanced himself from it. Like he was giving a patient a diagnosis rather than talking about his own mother.

“Mine too.” You gave him a wry smile. You had something in common, just not something you would like to have in common.

“How long has your mom been here?”

“Three years. She got really bad and my dad couldn’t take care of her anymore. She’s been doing much better since she moved in here.”

“That’s good.” Spencer nodded. “I hope my mom realises I did this for her. For her well being. At the moment she’s just so...angry.”

You reached across the table and placed your hand on top of his. He seemed a little startled by the physical touch but you didn’t move your hand.

“This is the best place for her. I assume from what you said earlier your dad isn’t in the picture?”

He used his free hand to sip his coffee with a sad shake of his head.

“He left when I was ten. He couldn’t handle mom's illness.”

You gave his hand a small squeeze.

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you to have to look after her by yourself. It was hard enough with my dad there. Really makes you grow up fast.”

“It really does.” He agreed. “I’m not sure I ever got to be a kid.”

“I know that feeling.”

After that you spent hours chatting about anything and everything until way into the night. It wasn’t until a nurse came and asked you politely to leave that you realised how late it was.

“I’ll probably see you around?” You spoke as you stepped outside together.

“Maybe. In a few weeks I’m heading out of state. I’m working on a PhD.” He didn’t want to tell you it was actually his second PhD.

“Oh. Ok.” You tried to hide the disappointment from your voice.

Despite the circumstances you’d enjoyed talking to someone like minded, someone who understood. You didn’t have anyone else your own age you could talk to about this kind of thing.

“Maybe we could exchange numbers?” You blushed a little.

“I don’t have a cellphone.” He shrugged.

“Oh.”

“It’s not an excuse.” He sensed you didn’t believe him. “I’m not so into technology. I don’t even have email.”

Normally you would have thought it was just a bad excuse to get out of seeing you again but the look on Spencer’s face told you he was being genuine.

“Ok.” You gave him a shy smile. “Well maybe I’ll see you again before you leave.”

“I hope so.” His eyes sparkled as he looked at you on the dark street.

There was an air between you, some kind of thick tension but you didn’t know what it meant.

“If I don’t see you again,” you spoke trying to ignore whatever it was. “It was really good to meet you and I hope your mom gets used to the facility.”

“You too.” He smiled so genuinely at you, it made your heart skip a beat.

And then you went your separate ways.

***

“Ok, so what happened next?” Rossi wasted no time once you were back in the interrogation room.

“Well I blacked out after I was chloroformed so excuse me if I don’t remember.” You gave him a sarcastic smile.

“What’s the next thing you do remember?” He reworded his question.

“I woke up in a large basement. It was gritty and dingy. And there were other women there too.”

“How many?”

“At least twenty.” You sighed letting your mind travel back to the basement you never wanted to go back to. Not even in your mind.

***

You woke with a start, your head pounding. You gasped for air as though you’d been drowning.

You blinked your eyes trying to adjust to the dark room you found yourself in.

It was cold and damp and you could hear a pipe dripping in the distance.

You tried to roll over but your arm wouldn’t budge. You were met by a loud clanking sound when you tried.

You tugged your arm, hearing the same sound and being met with a sharp pain in your wrist.

“Good luck.” A woman’s voice scoffed. “They don’t come loose.”

You blinked a few more times, looking over to your left arm. There was a heavy metal cuff right around your wrist that was attached to a metal bed frame.

That’s when you realised you were laying on a small cot on top of a ratty, itchy blanket. You were still dressed, thank god.

You suddenly remembered your firearm concealed in your boot. You patted your left calf and sure enough you felt the hard weapon still inside.

That was something at least.

Oversight on their part.

You remembered the voice you’d heard before and turned as much as you could with your arm cuffed to take in the rest of the room.

There were at least forty other cots close together lining the walls, with at least half of them containing the body of other women.

The voice you’d heard belonged to a woman in the cot next to you. She gave you a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Her eyes were broken.

“Hi,” you croaked. “I’m Y/N.”

“Delilah.” Her accent was Spanish. You were sure Delilah wasn’t her real name either.

“How long have you been here?”

She sighed, playing with a strand of curly black hair.

“What month is it?”

“September.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Not that long then. I’ve been here since July.” She looked confused as though that couldn’t be long enough.

“Delilah?” You narrowed your eyes on her. “What year do you think it is?”

“2018…” she saw your face drop and knew instantly it was no longer 2018.

“Oh gosh.” You felt for her, tears welling in your eyes. “It’s 2020.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “Wow.”

“It’s ok.” You lowered your voice. “I’m CIA. I’m going to get us out of here. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

***

“Delilah.” Rossi opened the file in front of him. “Was that Roberta Suez?”

He pulled out a photograph and slid it across the table. You averted your gaze.

“Yes and please I don’t need to see it, I was there.”

“How did she end up in hospital fighting for her life?”

“You know how.” You huffed. “Look I’m starting to get fed up with this now.” You folded your arms. “Carlos Ramirez was a sick son of a bitch. If I hadn’t done what I did he would have killed all those women. I don’t regret what I did.”

“How did she end up in hospital?” He repeated.

“Good lord.” You grumbled. “I’ll talk but I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rossi narrowed his eyes on you.

“No? But I’m so compassionate.” He spoke sarcastically.

“I won’t say another word unless it’s to Reid.” You looked up to the two way mirror. You didn’t know why but you had a feeling he was there.

Sure enough it was barely twenty seconds before the door opened and Doctor Reid himself stepped in the room.

“I got this Rossi.” Spencer told the older man who stood up with a shrug.

Rossi left the room while Spencer took the seat he’d been occupying.

Did he remember you? It had been close to twenty years since you’d last seen each other. Had it not been for the olfactory memory that struck you when you put on his jacket you might never have remembered him.

But you knew the rest of his team was behind the two way glass, or at least some of them were so it didn’t seem an appropriate time to ask such things.

“So agent Y/L/N,” he smiled softly at you. “Can you please tell me how Delilah ended up in hospital?”

“You already know the answer to that Doctor but since you asked so nicely,” you leant your elbows on the table, entwined your fingers and rested your chin the little bridge you’d created. “She had a drug overdose. But you and I both know it wasn’t her who administered the drugs.”

“And who did?”

“I did.”

Your words hung in the air between you and Spencer. He knew the answer, the whole team did. You’d already told Agent Jareau everything.

This was a huge waste of time.

“I administered the drugs because he told me if I didn’t he would kill me. I needed to stay alive so I could save those women.”

“Who said he would kill you?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“It wasn’t Ramirez?”

“No.” You shook your head. “If it was Ramirez I would have shot him. But it must have been one of his right hand men.”

“How would you know that? You’d never met Ramirez correct?” Spencer had a soft tone to his voice which made his line of questioning easier than Agent Jareau’s.

“I’m not a profiler but I’ve been to enough seminars over the years. He didn’t fit the bill. He was young, scatty, he didn’t strike as much fear into the other women as I thought the boss would. I made an educated guess and I was right. If I’d shot at him I would have blown my chance at getting Ramirez.”

***

“Shit shit shit!” You pulled yourself as close to Delilah’s cot as possible with your restraint. “Delilah, keep breathing, try to breath. Fuck I am sorry.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, the empty needle you’d been made to inject in her vein between your cots on the floor.

He’d held a gun to your head and said he would shoot you if you didn’t do it. You didn’t think he was bluffing.

“It happens a lot.” A woman opposite spoke up. “You’ll soon find out. If she wakes up she’ll have the pleasure of returning the favour.” She gave you an almost manic grin.

If she wakes up. It was the if you were having the issue with.

“Who’s in charge around here?”

She shrugged.

“Don’t know his name. Big guy. Tattoos. Mustache. You can’t miss him.”

“Does he come down here often?”

Again she shrugged.

“Being down here you have a way of losing track of time.” She clicked her tongue. “But he’ll be here for you later. He has to test his new girls.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Test?” You swallowed, pretty sure you knew what she meant.

“He can’t very well expect you to make him money if he doesn’t know how good you are.”

Oh god.

Your heartbeat raced. No, it was not going to come to that. You were a CIA agent and you were armed.

It was not going to come to that.

***

Spencer’s face paled a little at your words. You hadn’t told Agent Jareau that part.

“He was going to...he didn’t…”

“No.” You cut him off, pushing the memory back down. “I had a gun, remember.”

You offered him a wry smile.

“So you know what comes next.”

“I’d like you to tell me.”

The way he said it was more like he was a therapist than an FBI agent. As though he wanted you to tell him so you could get it off your chest, unburden yourself, rather than for interrogation purposes.

“Ok.” You nodded. “He came for me later that night. And that’s when it happened.”

***

“Ahh look at you.”

A deep, Spanish voice woke you.

Your eyes fluttered open and landed on a strong, tattooed man with a mustache standing over your cot.

This must be him.

“Tan hermosa.”

So beautiful.

You tried not to shudder.

You sat up wiggling your legs in your boots to make sure you could still feel your firearm. You could.

“Su nombre es Rosa.”

Your name is Rosa.

Guess again.

“Su nombre es Y/N.”

“Tú hablas español?”

You speak Spanish?

“Si.”

“Eres perfecta.” He grinned menacingly. “My clients will love you.”

He reached in his pocket and fished out a key chain. He reached over you and unlocked your cuff.

You rolled your wrist to try and get your blood circulating again.

“On your feet.”

You complied and stood up. Your legs were shaky.

He grasped your wrist, hard enough so you couldn’t wriggle free but not hard enough to leave a mark. He started dragging you across the room.

With his free hand he undid the four locks on the large steel door and pulled your through it. Once on the other side he took care to lock them all again, keeping a firm grasp on you the whole time.

You were dragged down a long, narrow corridor towards another steel door, this one with just one lock on.

He slid the key in and opened it, pulled you inside and locked it behind him.

The room was much smaller than the one you’d been held in and only housed a single cot.

He licked his lip as he looked at you. His large, thick fingers stroked your cheek and you had to try and hide your disgust.

“En la cama. Ahora.”

On the bed. Now.

You had to pick the opportune moment. You had to plan this just right. You had no doubt he had a gun on him so if you faltered even slightly, he would kill you.

“Qué tal esto.”

How about this.

You made a show of licking your lips and then dropping to your knees in front of him.

“Whoa, feisty. I like it.” He grinned, his meaty hands going to his belt buckle.

Yes. Right where you wanted him.

While he was fumbling with his belt, you reached your hand back into your left boot, drawing your gun in one swift move.

You head butted him in the crotch, sending him stumbling backwards, crying out in pain.

“Mierda!” Shit. “Usted puta!”

You whore!

You were on your feet in a second, your gun trained on him.

“You will never hurt another woman again.” You spat, furious tears suddenly streaming from your eyes.

He looked up at you, his mouth opened to speak.

But the words didn’t come out as your bullet hit him between the eyes.

“Who’s the puta now?”

***

“I would say,” Spencer chewed his lip. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank god.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly. “And I did. If I hadn’t shot him, who knows how many other women would have died.”

Spencer pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Just so you know, we got word from the hospital a little while ago. Roberta Suez, Delilah, is going to be just fine.”

“Oh thank god.” You felt tears brimming your eyes.

He opened the door and turned back to you.

“Are you coming?”

“I can leave?”

“You were never under arrest.” He smirked at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

You got up from the chair and Spencer motioned you out of the room.

“I’ll walk you out.” He showed you across the bullpen towards the elevators. There was an awkward air between the two of you.

Did you say anything? It didn’t seem as though he remembered you, was it worth reminding him?

He motioned you into the elevator first and he followed, pressing the button.

The elevator started its descent.

Time was running out.

“So uhm…” Spencer turned to you and turned too. “How’s your mom?”

A smile broke out on your features.

“I didn’t think you remembered me.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “I recognised you the second you walked in.”

“It’s been twenty years.” You laughed.

“Eighteen years, seven months.” He corrected you. “But I could never forget your face.”

You blushed a little, averting your gaze.

“My moms doing ok. Thanks for asking. How’s your mom?” You looked back at him.

“Recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” He told you sadly.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. These things happen.” He shrugged. “Made it to thirty without having a schizophrenic break but now I have to wait until I’m older to find out if I’ll develop Alzheimer’s.”

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped out, Spencer close behind.

“I really am sorry Spencer.”

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. “Is your mom still at Bennington? I used to see her when I went to visit my mom but I moved her out a little while ago.”

“Yeah she’s still there. She likes being close to my dad.”

You both hovered by the exit, not ready to say goodbye.

“Can I take you for coffee? If you don’t have anywhere else to be.” Spencer blushed as he spoke.

“I’d like that. A lot actually. But I’d really like to shower and change out of this getup.” You laughed. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner sounds perfect.” He grinned at you.

You gave him a smile and turned to leave but before you made it to the door Spencer spoke again.

“Y/N,” he called your name, his voice cracking a little. “You uh...you forgot something.”

You turned to face him curiously.

He walked closer to you and without a second thought, placed his hands on your face and kissed you.

For a second you stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

But after a few moments you wrapped your arms around his neck and opened your mouth to deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you were both smiling at one another.

“What was that for?” You asked softly.

“Oh you know…” he shrugged with a coy smile. “Just something that needed to be done.”

“I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.” You told him, touching his chest briefly.

“Ok.”

“Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.” He croaked.

And with that you sauntered out the doors but not out of his life.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Spencer?” You’d only made it a few paces away from Bennington before you stopped in your tracks, calling his name. “You uh...you forgot something.”

He turned to face you curiously.

You walked closer to him and without a second thought, placed your hands on his face and kissed him.

He stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

It was just a brief kiss, Spencer was too confused to do anything but stand there dumbly.

“Wh-what was that for?” He swallowed.

“Just something that needed to be done.” You smiled. “Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.”

And with that you sauntered back down the street, hoping that one day, the universe would lead you back into each other’s lives.

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