#after graduating i do purposefully keep my nails longer bc it feels like that exposed bit is a little more protected XD

[wholemonsternut]

i was clipping my nails & i just remembered a story that made me very sensitive abt my my own nails ever since i was a kid haha

there is some gore to it so it is spooky month themed XD

i have those long nails where the nail bed goes all the way to the tip of the finger so that means any growth (the white free edge part) results in my nails sticking out like claws idk moving on...

bc of how it is, the very end of the nail bed is very exposed & be easily cut into. earlier this year, i was opening a box & i wasn't careful enough with where i placed my fingers so one of the corners wedged itself between my right ring finger nail & i bled a significant amount & i could've sworn if i had truly panicked & yanked my hand the wrong direction, half of the nail would be ripped off the flesh (that may have been dramatic but this is my post)

>>ANYWAY, that was just exposition just in case any of you friends don't know what it's like to have something like that because that is a key detail in this story

for some reason my teacher genuinely did not believe that such nails exist (in fairness, at 8yrs old, i have also yet to know anyone else with genetically long nails like mine, so i took her word for it), telling us that it is very unsanitary, unprofessional, & akin to school delinquents to have long nails so she insisted to clip my nails for me

after not only humiliating me amongst my other 8 yr old peers, i also had to stay after the class. she pulled out an assortment of nail clippers & nail files from her purse. & immediately grabs & manhandles my little childish fingers

starting with my right hand, she starts digging the nail clipper into my nail. shocked & ready to cry already, i told her that the nail clipper was too deep & tried to point out that it's gonna bleed while also trying to pull away but she just scoffed (or whatever you'd understand a "tch" as) & held me in a sort of headlock... it felt like i was a sheep being sheered

i wasn't sure what was scarier, the feeling of the large nail clipper being wedged between my nail & flesh that it might as well just pop the whole nail off or the top layer skin being actively cut & yet to bleed to signal to the teacher the she should stop

it took until the we're at the thumb until one of my finger tips are finally stained with blood to have her immediately stop. i was so relieved that it was over & that i still have time to suck up my tears before anyone noticed.

however to her, my fingers are only bleeding because i was moving a lot & making a fuss over nothing

about to move to the left hand, she gave me an opportunity to willingly give my hand without her needing to hold me still. me, being a powerless child, i quickly understood that i do not know how exactly to get out of this situation

so i very hesitantly laid my left hand onto her free hand which she then grabbed the fingers anyway ig because i was very obviously shaking. her grip gets stronger every time i so much as flinch

for some reason, this side hurts more & thinking back i think it's because earlier she was holding my wrist/fingers so tightly that i was kind of numb to the full pain

i had my eyes closed for the most part & heard her sweeping the table (to clean up the nail clippings). i didn't want to be hopeful that it was over like i was minutes ago but i stared at her movements for a few seconds to confirm that she was putting away her things.

standing from my seat, i was ready to run hoping that i could catch that one kid selling bandages but

"where do you have to be so quickly? sit first. i'm not done yet." (best translation i can do, sorry)

she taps the previously mentioned nail file. at this time of my life, i didn't know what those were so i had no idea what she was about to do with a foam stick covered in sandpaper

i had a more verbal reaction with this one. apparently i was being a "whiny, dirty, unkempt, spoiled brat" standing up for myself for not wanting someone to rub my wounds with sandpaper but tbh i think i was a more of a personal opinion

i managed to get out of this part of the manicure session by saying that recess was almost over & i was very hungry

i couldn't find that kid that sold bandages that day btw

thank you so much for joining me in my dramatic retelling of my childhood self's torture session <3