#" "Peel Me A Grape"

[icarus-mp3]

FUN LITTLE VISUAL DETAILS IN PROMARE - PART 1

...Brought to you by a guy who has rewatched this movie well over 40 times. My insanity for this film is boundless. Here are just some fun little stuff I noticed in Promare. (Most of the stuff I say here are just my own observations so take it all with a grain of salt)

Varys likes basketball! It's easy to miss, but at the start he is shooting a basketball into a hoop

And his locker also has some basketball jerseys inside of it (and what looks like deodorant?)

Speaking of lockers, each member of Burning Rescue has special details on their lockers!

Starting off with the outside, from right to left we have: Varys, Aina, Lucia, Remi, and then Galo (Galo's is not visible in this shot.) All of them have traces of stickers that have been peeled off.

Varys' has a hart hat and some decals, seemingly more basketball-related things. One right to the left of the hard hat has a paw print on it.

Aina's locker has a baseball cap, some rainbow/emoji stickers (one that looks like it just says Inter Net? And maybe a Barbie one?) along with some motivational sticky notes (You are STRONG) and two 'A's. Probably her initials.

Lucia's locker has the most stickers, and to me, it looks like they're mostly of different candy/candy brands. Other than the T and the "ATATA" they just look like candy stuff. She doesn't have any hat hanging there (it would probably be difficult to wear a normal hat with her hair)

(Edit: To quote a-blue-revolution, "Lucia likes videogames!!!! In that close up of the lockers you showed there's an "atata" sticker that looks EXACTLY like the atari logo" There are also some other stuff that show her video game nerdiness. Thank you a-blue-revolution!!)

Remi's locker is just a hard hat and some papers. One's on white paper, and to me it seems printed, like a legal document or something. The other is on yellow paper, and to me looks more handwritten. Who knows what these are.

Here is the outside of Galo's locker. It looks like it has Matoi decals, to the surprise of no one. Some simple characters, the side of a firefighter holding a Matoi, and the tip of a Matoi at the very top. (I'm not completely sure what the dark blue decal in the lower middle is, perhaps a firefighting outfit?)

(Edit: To quote burnt-grapes from the comments: "That dark-blue sticker in the middle of Galo’s locker is actually a Bonshō! They’re large bells used in buddhist in Japan that are typically made of bronze :] (hence the sticker’s colour)" Thank you burnt-grapes!!)

Now for the insides of everybody's lockers:

(I already showed Varys' but here it is again for reference, his hand is blocking a picture of someone playing basketball (you can see it in the next picture))

Aina has some, I think, fashion stickers? There's a figure with a hat in the top left corner, and some sort of ticket or check with what I think is a barcode on the left. To the top right of the mirror, she has a picture of her and her sister (aww). She also has a geometric poster for "Division", and another poster behind that one. My gut is saying a band of some kind?

To match the outside, Lucia's locker is filled to the BRIM with snacks, featuring some great brands such as "Cheetas," "Daritas," "Skettles," "W&W," and what I think is just straight up Milky Ways? And right where her hand is reaching one that says "Trigger." My gut reaction was that it was supposed to be a parody of "Toblerone," but the letters are brown, so it might just be a normal easter egg. She also has some books and red solo cups.

Boring documents on the outside, pinups on the inside. Interesting. Remi also has a picture of him next to a blonde-haired someone, also in a Burning Rescue uniform. (I've heard that that's his girlfriend who got turned into a crocodile, but don't quote me on that) He also has some red solo cups.

(We don't see the inside of Galo's locker, but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it's probably more Matoi memorabilia)

Speaking of Matoi, when Lucia is working on her computer at the start of the movie, we can see she's looking at Galo's Matoi Tech suit! His Matoi/the folded up version of the suit is on the right, and how he actually fits into the suit is in the middle. (You can see the spikes on the back, identifying it as his special suit)

The computer actually shows all the suits customized for their owner's body types and the suits themselves. Right before Lucia sends out Remi and Varys, the computer shows this:

You can see, Remi's figure is very thin and lanky, and Varys can barely fit in his. Remi's ice canon is contained in his suit attachment, and Vary's is mostly just the arms, with the claw he uses to pry open the door to the scientists.

As Burning Rescue is leaving, a tiny car accompanies them. (if you look closely, you can also count the pixels in that image)

This is Ignis' car, the one he drives throughout the movie. You can see him getting out of it here:

(and a better picture of the car itself)

It seems to have a spoiler on the back. A pretty flashy car overall.

Most people know about this hidden Galo:

But there's actually a second one! As Lucia is fistbumping Varys and Remi, you can see him sulking, partially hidden by the light.

Poor guy. He wants to go so bad.

Aina has a headset with a mouthpiece, which no other characters seem to.

My guess is it's due to the helicopter. It could muffle the sound, and make it so that she can still talk whether she's inside or outside. Or it might be something to do with proximity, since Varys and Remi are both in their suits, and Lucia can have higher quality communication gear in the van that might not be available for Aina's helicopter.

(You can see Lucia and Varys don't have any)

This might just be reading too deeply into it, but right at the beginning, Vary's is launched out of a canon. Perhaps this is foreshadowing halfway through the movie when Lio gets launched?

This also shows the "shape symbolism," which is perhaps the coolest visual detail of all. According to the Wiki, squares are used to represent Promepolis, the city, Kray, Freeze Force, that general sphere. Triangles are used to represent the Burnish. And circles symbolize the freedom/the future. Once you notice that it's EVERYWHERE. The lens flares, the buildings, the clothing of characters, everywhere. And even on the canons here, you can see that Varys gets launched out of a square one, and Lio gets launched out of a triangle.

Goofy little detail is Lucia uses a joystick in the van, oddly enough. While holding it, she twiddles her fingers as if she's typing on a keyboard. Either there are sensory inputs on the ball of the joystick itself, or she's just excited.

(Here, while complaining about Galo being missing, she uses a genuine game controller to move a robot's hand. She likes video games)

Part 2

[usagirotten]

Raise a Glass to the End: Exclusive Reaper Wine Marks the Release of Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker

In celebrations of Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker’s expansion release, Square Enix collaborated with a few companies to bring truly unique items to the Isetan pop-up shop. Appearing in Shinjuku, Japan from December 8-14, merchandise included clothing, accessories, candy and wine. In partnership with The Prisoner Wine Company, the Final Fantasy XIV Reaper-inspired wine was limited in the pop-up shop. Sadly, that means if you dream of sipping a glass while traveling around Hydaelyn, you’ll have to wait until they show up in Square Enix e-stores later. Currently, there is no guarantee that it will ship overseas, but we have our fingers crossed. The wine bottle special box is as beautiful as Final Fantasy XIV’s landscapes, featuring an illustration of the new Reaper Job Class, exclusively launched as part of Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker. Standing before the moon in glorious splashes of red and black, the Reaper looks dangerous and deadly. The bottle label also has a smaller Reaper illustration adorning the dark glass.

The Collector’s Box doesn’t just hold the wine, it’s art in and of itself. A chain design graces the exterior which links the logos of the two brands involved in this collaboration. Inside is a brand new illustration of the Warrior of Light which represents the hero and protector role. Fans can take heart at the words written inside which quotes Venat, one of the Final Fantasy XIV characters saying: “Break your chains, shed your burdens — and show me your strength of will!” While the bottle itself bears The Prisoner label, peeling it off reveals the artwork representing the Warrior of Light. The Prisoner Red Blend and has a 2021 vintage and a California appellation. A selection of grapes are used, including Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauvignon, Petit Syrah, Syrah, Merlot and Malbec. On the nose, wine imbibers should detect hints of dried blackberry, cedar and tobacco leaf, plus the sweet spices of clove, cinnamon and nutmeg. Flavors range from ripe dark cherry to blackberry coulis with a hint of anise for a soft and vibrant finish.

    Read the full article

[holymothersofpearl]

something no one sees is thst i am one of the wise women of the world and no one sees this bc i am incapable of articulating my thoughts like a normal fucking person and if u peeled off my scalp like a grape and cracked my skull open like chimps do to all their fruits and looked inside there for a single second u would see that i am a prophetess and the voice of God speaks through me but bc i am his vessel he can only speak in ny language of rhymes and riddles and quote unquote girlisms and bad metaphors also

[creampuffqueen]

Funny Quotes From School

finished high school and having some Feelings about it, so please take the last five years worth of dumb quotes i've heard/spoken in my school

uhhhhh trigger warning for... violence? uncomfy statements? sexual innuendos? idk most of these are extremely unhinged. also long post tw like seriously that's why i made a cut

Eighth Grade

go suck all eleven of my toes

don't you hate it when you try to go upstairs two steps at a time but end up skipping seven steps?

go suck a lime

i'm going to shove my cowboy boot so far up your ass you dillhole

'or maybe just don't eat mashed potatoes with your gravy' 'that's satanism'

sexual question of the day. go

oh, how the fidgets have spun

you ever just randomly twerk?

'they look like noodles' 'no, YOU look like noodles'

or they can throw a back of licorice at you

is the earth round, flat, or thicc?

i just spilled apple juice on myself and now i'm going to cry

*someone holding a grape* who is this?

don't throw things in my trash can

i'll consume your kneecaps

i'll peel your toenails

that's okay, i didn't want to live anyway

you're going to make me have five more mental breakdowns than usual

i bet i could beat up every sixth grader

you think i have MORALS and STANDS?!

we're not living in an alternative universe, we're making a new country

don't put applesauce on my cheetoes

i'm sorry. i cheated on you with the mailman

don't make fun of me, i know what memes are!

or as i like to call it, carbonated barbecue sauce

penetrate me with nails

i'm not a lady, i'm a WOMAN

i will deep fry your scalp

i will replace your tampons with sticks of butter

i will exfoliate with your esophagus

it jumped at me and attempted to arson my finger

i am the physical manifestation of the cowardly lion

i will pull your uterus out through your nose

you're like a conditioned pig

'what are your emotions?' 'pumpkin spice latte'

i don't want your cocaine

am i the only one who puts lipgloss on their tongue?

'how many bones are in a human hand?' 'enough to eat'

i have too many eggs to function

it sounds like cough syrup

feed the squirrels the vaccines

george washington dumped me!

that's not how you eat oranges, you satanist

spock is right there with marilyn monroe

i used to be a boy. now i'm an orangutan

you sound like a mother fucking cuckoo clock

do you think i could be a foot model?

this weekend i ate a whole capri sun

i made my siri call me daddy

are you saying boys don't have legs?

you'll hear those jingles when you're DEAD

nerds are my drug of choice

'seduce me with your words' 'BUBBLEGUM'

delete my kneecaps daddy

shut your teletubby looking ass the fuck up

those phalanges have me quaking

bill nye is my queen

'my hands are warm because i'm hot' 'no, your hands are hot because you were born in HELL'

i just stubbed three of my toes because i whipped

ow my nonexistant knee. it hurts

dude i'm like 82 fricking years olds

if you make fun of people because of their weight, your kneecaps are forfeit

hey just be prepared for lunch, i'm going to accuse her of drawing furries in her free time

the cowboy hat emoji is my dad

i'm the only one who can threaten violence here

if hell was just a tequila bar i'd still go

how do you politely tell your friend she looks like a soccer mom?

fuck you in the liver

can i snap all of my bones and extend into the multiverse?

there's ranch in my pants

hang yourself from the eiffel tower

your whole life is a voice crack

i swear to god i will rip out your vocal cords

horse girls will ride literally anything

my dick is bigger than that of a sea cucumber's

it's not salt, it's cocaine

i'd go to hell for a capri sun

my dog had sex with an owl

i'm a slut for ted cruz

liquify me daddy

last night i fortnite danced to my favorite song so today i'm going to kill myself

that's because i'm a fucking lesbian, dickhead

i'm still eating bricks today

take your saliva back

i would like to wear a sweatshirt made of his skin

i hope you become a burn victim

i will jump rope with your large intestine

some of us had things going on this weekend, like the breakdown of society

i'm gonna break my toe until it's completely calcium and can't break anymore

it's an interpretive dance, called where the fuck is the trashcan

you are the human equivalent of green vaginal discharge

FUCK THE BEES

nobody cares if your boyfriend made out with another guy-

is that a fucking eggshell?

i'm like a bloodhound for fursuits

Ninth Grade/Freshman Year

someone revoke my live priveleges

ants ants ants ants ants ants ants

'your pain brings me joy' 'your pain brings ME joy' 'I FEEL NO PAIN'

make sure to water your track every day so it'll grow big and strong

you ever just commit mitosis?

you're talking to the person who thought lightning was fake

why don't you just donate your body to science, and that's one less paper for me to grade

is a soul required or something?

i want my feet to be gone

i'm going to stab my eyes out with plastic knives

put germ-x on your dick

screw the water cycle

eating spaghetti is now cannibalism

i look strongly like a toe

close your coochie

what even is obama's last name?

i want death in every available form

you lost your shoelace privileges. hand 'em over

did you just call it photosynthesis water?

if you don't stop imma drop spin your ass

Tenth Grade/Sophomore Year

how dense is this dog?

i'll tic tac toe your toes

he looks like the word pulp

my one and only complaint about texas is that the ground is far too moist

this ain't the krusty krab

perry the platypus says trans rights

is phone sex free?

bold words for someone within pegging distance

this guinea pig has hips to rival kim k

'i'm not dying a virgin' 'not with that attitude you aren't'

all dragons are lesbians

you don't get the priviledge of sight

they sexualized winnie the pooh

i will run down ANY corridor i want, thank you very much

i can't think while i'm breathing!

why would you be lactose intolerant. it's my birthday

my ego is big and my balls are bigger

if you're trying to get me to admit i watch cave porn-

that is a joke; i am a whore

shut up or i'll slut shame you

can i get a rabbit convicted for sexual assault?

normalize lobotomies

my brain feels like deep fried butter at the county fair

get the christmas cocaine out

your flavor buds are made of granite

the crack house has become the crack home

i don't want to sleep with the seven disciples

i have such a fake god complex

i'm going to get you euthanized

well it's a good thing i like sausage. it's a coping mechanism

horses don't have shoulders, don't you know?

it's free to shut up, you know

my fetish is eco pollution

no, i'm not shoving a caterpillar up my ass

fuck you. i'll unvirgin your islands

speaking of cold sweat and being in a room-

he falls for lesbian coded women all the time and he still got somewhere in life

aborted fetuses in my cereal? it's more likely than you think

sorry, i forgot to put on my toes this morning

i'm very materialistic when it comes to my own organs

i'd love to be a malleable shape in real life

the entire digestive system is stored in the balls

wipe my memories daddy

i have been molested by a rabbit before, it is a possibility

is it wrong to say i kin satan?

it's a double sided titty

someone remove this man's vocal cords

she got real up close and personal with a morphine addiction

ignore the rabbit cum stain, keep testing me!

i'll clip your wings, bitch!

this is the side effect of joining the cult

reject tradition, embrace the alpaca

their asses are SO slappable

leave room for jesus when you jack yourself off

no preggers? POGGERS!

government mandated lactation

Eleventh Grade/Junior Year

look at his tits! this man was made for lactation

i'm going to water board you in brine

oh no, i fell for the cum gambit!!

i'll refer to you exclusively as dipshit from now on

knuckles from sonic has a cloaca?

who let you have sentience

daddy the collective

hey kid, you wanna domesticate a cow?

his eyes are against OSHA regulations

let me take my place in the nitrogen cycle please

are you talking about an epipen? no, heroin

so we're talking about the physics of projectile vomiting, am i hearing you right?

if you break your leg enough eventually you learn not to break your leg

friends? in my digestive system?

i scared him away with my juicy needles

he's sodomizing his french fries

are you a little quirky? a little wild? do you do crack?

i have the most succulent ass in this entire lunch period

if i weighed less than the average chromebook i would definitely take my bigwheel on the freeway

i'm going to breed that until it weighs less than the average chromebook

that chromebook is submissive and breedable

every day i get a colonoscopy on the side of the road

'where is the assignment?' 'up your ass'

the navy is just a giant sailor moon convention

imagine milking someone in the starbucks line

did you just call the son of god a hot cheeto girl?

fish fear me. the sugar baby bot wants me

my counselor has given up and is just going to let me kill myself

a self inflicted joker arc

the college board invented war

the quintessential american experience: fireworks, ferris wheels, and serial killers

i'm a thief, not a hoe

do you know how many drugs i'd have to be on to go on a road trip with you?

put tangent on birth control

eco friendly bird spies

his natural habitat is scrubs and khakis

i am a hyperbola enjoyer

sometimes you're deranged. you have weird habits and you're left handed; i wouldn't put anything past you

complete my citations daddy

if you put bananas in my cheesecake i will get gayer

spooning the homies on the slaughterhouse conveyor belt

if i were a cow i'd have as many complicated pregnancies as possible

in 1.7 miles exit this mortal realm

veterinarians be like 'i can fix him' and pull out a burdizzo <- my senior quote btw

Twelvth Grade/Senior Year

facebook logo of a man

what kind of drugs are you on? because it needs to be adderall

when aroused the vagina can fit 1-2 raccoons

the most civilized cats in our world lick their ass for anyone to watch

you sound like a goldfish who got his in the head with a ping pong ball at a carnival five too many times

a blueberry is smarter than you

i hope this email finds me dead

i'd chew on a trachea

let me sparknotes shrek 4

i'm deaf in all four ears

it's imperitaive that i take a shit in the front yard right now

can you stop trying to deal people drugs for like ten minutes?

a minecraft stack's worth of war crimes

i was in my father's balls planning for this event

dicks not provided for this event

his foreskin is his sock??

[goodblacknews]

MUSIC MONDAY: "The Song Is You" - a Tribute Playlist to Legendary Song Stylist Nancy Wilson (LISTEN)

MUSIC MONDAY: “The Song Is You” – a Tribute Playlist to Legendary Song Stylist Nancy Wilson (LISTEN)

by Lori Lakin Hutcherson (@lakinhutcherson) Hey, it’s Lori, GBN’s Editor-in-Chief, stepping in with this week’s Music Monday share. As yesterday was what would have been song stylist Nancy Wilson’s 85th birthday, I have crafted an 85-song tribute playlist that spans her six decades-long recording career. A prolific singer who recorded and released 52 albums, three-time Grammy Award winner Wilson…

[vake-hunter]

Light Fingers Lore Post

Moon-Misers

Normal Moon-Milk is a poison they use to make their prey walk right into their mouth. It’s not meant to last for long.

Babies are rare, only born about once a decade! “A Moon-Miser can only be born when the stars align. It must also be coaxed from the womb with a Song of Birthing.” Once born it must be fed special nectar extracted from stalactites. Who knows what that’s made of! “At birth, Moon-Misers are wrapped in their mother's silk, forming a protective membrane while their carapaces develop.”

Here, have some NEAT Red Science quotes: “You are forging a new link of a great chain. This is the most impossible and unforgiving of occasions: the creation of something new. In this tent, you usher a brand new species from the vaults of possibility. You are spitting in the face of the gods. You are violating laws written in starlight before the world began.”

This is VERY important Lore: the baby has your eyes.

(If Baby is more human) As the zeppelin ascends, the Hybrid raises its voice in solemn song. As you listen, a thrill runs down your spine. For a moment, swept up in the song, you experience a vision: in your mind's eye, a blazing-bright king unites the tribes of the Starved Men under one banner, and harnesses the Moon-Misers as steeds. He leads his subjects on a crusade against the city below - a city that is no longer London, but that still harbours the Moon-King's greatest nemesis, now much embittered at the failure of its schemes. The resulting war will prove its final undoing.

Mr Fires

Is trying to bankrupt the Bazaar in a way. 

If it makes a bunch of fake love stories, that can trick Wines and Spices and the Bazaar, eventually the Bazaar won’t know what love is real and what isn’t, thus, hopefully, discouraging the Bazaar and the other Masters. 

“A bitter edge creeps into its sibilant voice. "Once a suitable love story is found, it’ll be the end of London. Can you imagine?" The lamp trembles in its hand. Its voice rises an octave. "The end of London! I couldn't bear it! I love this city. It's my sole comfort, the greatest joy I have discovered in all my centuries. I'd do anything to preserve it."

“In the longer term, the Hybrid's milk is the only thing that can save the city. Once seeded across the populace, all love stories will be rendered suspect. Any love, no matter how pure or moving, could simply be the symptoms of an aberration's venom. Love will be robbed of its allure. The Bazaar will not know which stories it can truly believe in."

"If my plan succeeds, the other Masters will abandon London as a failed venture." Mr Fires holds up its lamp; here at the bottom, the shelves are lined with leather-bound volumes. "They shall depart, and I shall make arrangements to preserve the city."

It is very defensive of what it did at the Orphanage, in a way that almost makes it sound like it's guilty. It does insist it would do it again, and it doesn’t care about the people, just London as a city. 

Confirmation Fires likes science. 

More evidence Masters can shapeshift to change their sizes and when they are upset, they have trouble staying small. 

Its very fucking excited to burn things down and upset Wines. 

(Giving the baby to Fires) "One day, London will be a city glutted with love," says Mr Fires, returning its gaze to the Hybrid. "Or at least, reliably-replicable facsimiles of it. The effect will be subtle. A modest adjustment, year on year. Wines won't suspect a thing until it is too late." It glances at you. "You and I, [Addressed As], have saved London today."

Boil of Calamities

Possibly the first Fingerking or at least a very very old and strong one.

Seven Heads like the statue at Irem. 

The Sun and the Spire that connects it are sacred places to the Fingerkings and the Boil protects them. “They may allow your kind to trespass across the rest of their kingdom, you slumbering oafs, you mortal morsels, but not here, not the hallowed spire. Insolence! Blasphemy!”

Huge coils that appear in the sky. Black scales, a knot of snakes or just one massive one. Like storm clouds with huge fangs. Tongues flicker like lightning.

It once took tributes and accepted people as servants but the the door to its Chamber seems long abandoned. 

The Chamber is found in the shadow of the Dome of Scales. “Inside is a cavern that smells faintly of spices: cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamon. Heavy silk banners hang from the walls, depicting battles between cats and serpents. Seven braziers burn merrily with viric fire. Plates of delicious-looking food have been set out: pomegranates, bloody steak, bunches of plump indigo grapes. At the centre sits a majestic basalt altar, carved with dozens of runes and symbols, a silver bowl waiting atop.”

If you make a Pact with the Boil, you must shed your skin. Don’t worry, there’s more skin under there. Better skin, you’re told. You peel yourself with a Ravenglass knife and it uses the same wording as in my Kingdom for A Pig and the Third City Deal :) 

“There is indeed new skin underneath. It is tender and dry, with the faintest silver sheen. The effect is subtle. Only a lover or a doctor would notice.”

“You look up to the Boil, your skin flashing silver, and bow deeply. The overbearing tangle of coils slips apart, separating, loosening. You find yourself breathing more easily.”

Court of Cats

The Duchess is capable of calling a meeting with the Court. 

They slew the seven daughters of the Boil. 

They have a spear made from a Fingerking’s fang that is capable of piercing the Skin of the Sun. However only cats are allowed to wield it. So if you want it you must become an Honorary Cat.

“The Lord High Seneschal pronounces you the 'Lyon Pursuivant of Arms Extraordinary,' officially a cat, and thus entitled to take possession of one of the cats' greatest trophies.”

“As they fall quiet, you ask why they have never wielded this spear against their enemies in the past? "Because cats do not have thumbs," says the Knight Marshall, with a haughty look.”

“Hephaesta draws back her Herculean arm and hurls the spear of the Sleeping King, putting every hard-wrung ounce of her strength behind the throw. It flies, like a shell from a cannon, cracking the Skin of the Sun and sinking a foot deep. At the point of impact, the glass buckles and twists and shrieks. Hephaesta and the tiger roar in triumph.”

“A great, hollow crack rings across Parabola. A shadow mars the cosmogone sunlight passes over the sun.”

Parabolan Sun (Not strictly Lore just from Light Fingers but Important)

Parabola was not always bright. It seemed to be in perpetual twilight before the Second City Sisters rose the Sun. 

“This is a place that is not. It was not always light, though once it was brighter. The sisters found it in twilight and in dreams. The night was thus sacred to the Second City. They would not be pursued here. The ushabti were created to help in the construction of the Palace. The Second City could have lived here forever.”

This also seems to imply there was no moon either, as the moon is a cat. It probably came with the Second City as well. "Look, there are patterns there, just like the surface's moon. Only... these don't resemble a man, or anything else so much as a cat, curled up asleep."

The Sisters of the Pharaoh (minus the Duchess) fled to Parabola when the Third City fell to avoid being killed. “We four survivors fled. One remained with the City, while I retreated here.”

"The Palace of the Rising was to be a refuge from the Masters and the Bazaar. A new sun was raised in the sky so the citizens might walk in light again.”

The thing is. The Sun was built with the help of what appears to be the God of the Fingerkings. "the Boil of Calamities, Lord of the Seething Sky, wept a drop of shining glass..."

The Boil protects the Sun and the Cats hate the Fingerkings. It seems the Four Sisters betrayed the Cats and their other sister, the Duchess, in order to make the Sun. "It also is the mother-father of the egg that is the Parabolan sun," adds a dark-faced tabby. Its reflection is that of a snarling puma. "Though others played a part in that, too." The Duchess' lips tighten.”

Physically: A huge glass dome held to the land by a stone pillar. Even the sky around the dome appears to be glass. (Interesting given how the Second City imprisoned the Masters was to cover the Neath in glass. From The Mind Of A Long Dead God: “Glass Walls Everywhere! They surround me. They reflect one realm inwards and keep me from the other. These barriers should be fluid!” Note that the Neath IS Storm’s corpse.)

NORTH

Rubbery Men plan to fly north. “They take off again in an instant, heading North, waving you farewell. Where do they ultimately hope to go? Again, it's impossible to tell. Perhaps they hope to find their way home.”

If baby is more Moon-Miser: As the zeppelin ascends, the Hybrid raises its voice in solemn song. A thrill runs down your spine. For a moment, swept up by the song, you experience a vision: a blazing-bright king of Moon-Misers leading its glimmering subjects on a pilgrimage across the roof and through a door far to the North. Below, in a city that is not London, the citizens point and murmur in fear as their false-stars crawl into the distance and blink out one by one, leaving only darkness behind.

Item Rewards

Lyon Pursuivant of Arms Extraordinary: For the purposes of having legal custody of a famous war trophy, you have been made an honorary cat, with the associated title, privileges, and dignities. [Affiliation; Shadowy +3, Persuasive +6, Dangerous +2, Respectable +1]

Tatterskin Shawl: Once, you offending the Boil of Calamities. To make amends you offered up your own skin as a gift. The Boil was thoughtful enough to return your old skin to you, though it no longer fits as snugly as it once did. [Clothing; Shadowy +6, Persuasive -2, Dreaded +1, Bizarre +1, Mithridacy +1]

A Loyal Nightmare of Poor Edward: You married what remained of Poor Edward. Now he is a nightmare, bound by the miser-milk to the dreams of the Orphanage. Sometimes, you visit him there. [Affiliation; Shadowy +2, Persuasive +1, Dreaded +1]

A Kitten-Sized Diamond, Liberated from the Mountain: It was torn from the Mountain that looms on the Elder Continent. If set near wounds, they heal. If left in one place for too long, flowers bloom around it. If left near lesser diamonds, they will hatch. [Home Comfort; Persuasive +10, Respectable +2, Artisan of the Red Science +1]

A False-Star of your Own: Above London, false-stars shine. One is your bastard child, a Hybrid, a diamond the size of a cow. It is a hundred times brighter than its fellows, a blazing pinpoint; every month or two, for just a few days, it passes directly over the city. For that brief period, London's gloom eases into a velvety twilight. (In addition to the stat advantages, this Companion allows you a unique opportunity while zailing.) [Companion; Watchful +6, Shadowy +12, Shapeling Arts +1, Bizarre +2]

[dance-insane]

Tagged by the wonderful @reshiiii!!!!

if i were a month, i’d be: july･ if i were a flower, i’d be: baby's breath･ if i were an album, i’d be: "how big, how blue, how beautiful" by florence + the machine･ if i were a mineral, i’d be: citrine ･ if i were a sound, i’d be: hair brushing ･ if i were a colour, i’d be: tangerine orange ･ if i were a drink, i’d be: lemonade･ if i were a fruit, i’d be: grapes ･ if i were a quote, i’d be: 'cieľom nie je vyhrať ale vysmiať sa porazeným' (the goal is not to win but to make fun of the defeated) - some random child at summer camp･ if i were a television series, i’d be: the good place ･ if i were a movie, i’d be: the breakfast club ･ if i were a fashion brand, i’d be: f&f by tesco :) ･ if i were a mythological creature, i’d be: vodník ･ if i were a taste, i’d be: lemon tart ･ if i were a scent, i’d be: kiwi ･ if i were a fabric, i’d be: polyester ･ if i were a body part, i’d be: leg hair･ if i were a song, i’d be: 'newspaper' by fiona apple･ if i were a god(dess), my four attributes would be: orange peel, rosemary, small coins, windchimes

List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line.

- i dont really write stories but here are some things

1.

Ťažko mi do hlavy ide

Že môj život je môj, a to

Že nie je nikde inde

(its hard for me to get that my life is mine and that it is not anywhere else)

2.

I learned that wind will

mess up my hair and sing songs,

Howl in F major.

3.

I am the snake in eden

Hidden amongst the raspberries in my own garden,

Crawling up the wisteria.

Tempting not eve, not adam,

But my own wrists.

And i taaaag @kuanmian!!! And anyone else who wamts to!!!

[sin-esthezia]

for the hyperfixation ask thing - do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperdixqtion?

omg yes i was hoping someone would ask this. allow me to make a bulleted list of some rp moments that i quote or think about a lot. (i’m also going to be clearly indicating which ocs aren’t mine sorry if it gets obnoxious lolol.)

rachel sat down on the table and lumien (friend’s side character) proceeded to call her “ratty” and she got way too defensive about it

pepper fell down and landed on her boobs and then proceeded to exclaim “MY  B R E A S T S !!!”

amber (friend’s oc), a literal robot, had to explain to bane (different friend’s oc) and willow what puberty was. willow thought it was a disease

bane’s introduction scene where he thought willow and amber were on a date

when bane bit into a banana without peeling it and proceeded to eat the entire thing

rachel, who is part snake (ironically enough), ate a small rodent alive and terrified all of the children around her

all within the span of like 5 minutes atlas (friend’s oc) broke a plate, coughed blood on the floor, and burnt some omelets, and then siren ate the blood off the floor

willow held out his arms offering bane a hug and he just walked away. willow promptly burst into tears

not canon but sugar (friend’s oc) just fucking bit rachel

siren was attacking atlas on a vile moon cuz he’s corrupted and can’t help it and he painfully slammed atlas’s head against a dresser. i meme this to death and refer to it as the “infamous head dresser slam”

atlas found out he accidentally drank wine once (he’s 17) and panicked because he thought he broke the law. “i thought it was expired grape juice!” LMAO

amber got a virus and threatened to shoot bane

rachel jokingly threatened to eat bluebell (not my oc) because rachel is a snake and bluebell is part butterfly. it made her cry and rachel laughed

maven (not my oc) scolded rachel for being an asshole, then told her, “bedtime. now.” maven is 12 and rachel is 16

amber seeing mira in the outpost and desperately trying to cover up willow’s tracks after he fled in panic

when felicity broke in and watched atlas sleep. she left with a minor concussion

siren was carrying atlas and then needed to open a door. instead of asking atlas to open it for him he placed atlas down on the floor, opened the door, then picked him back up. it makes me laugh whenever i think about it

there are definitely more i’m missing but this list is already absurdly long so i’ll stop here

[how-does-one-college]

Four Years Worth of Quotes That Sum Up High School

- I'm going to throw all my ideas away

- Back at square -8

- You're gonna wake up and you're gonna get a pressed ham on your window

- You're punching my sandwich? That's so cruel!

-No pants! That's my logic

- I'm string bean actually

- All my friends are gay, I got this

- Those people in Pompeii? Fucking pussies

- Don’t try to tell me how fish work! Are you a fish? Have you put your penis in a fish? I have! So I know how it works!

- Or you could just stab it.

- I need candy so bad!

- Stop throwing things at people! Yesterday it was beans! Today it's... it's grapes

- Did I just hear you summon the octopus?

- You can never run out of cake! If you do, you will die! You're veins are made of cake!

- Oh shoot! - Shoe?? *takes off shoe can holds it up* did you say shoe?

- Can plants be gay?

- I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but I'm not going to name my child Titty

- My headphones' connected to my pants. My pants are connected to my pelvis!

-This is like a chemistry experiment! Trying lotion and talking about grandmas 

- It wasn't dangerous! I knew exactly what I was going to cut off!

- You just broke my twix and stole my hat! And you're calling me the bad guy?

- I don't know what politics is

- Do you have the 24 hour clock thing?

- Max is our resident thug

- In-class essays are the sprints of high school

- I think screaming is universal

- So is the yeti spinning in circles?

- There's an Ethiopian caterpillar called slick daddy?

- *chasing after someone* um, excuse me! Marlow! I want a carrot!

- I don't have a blood pressure, clearly I'm dying

- I'm the coupon dealer *throws pile of CVS coupons onto the table*

- Look at your tiny little feet! Do a dance!

- I did it all but I did it all wrong

- Last is first in my mind

- Meet up at my house Saturday, we're gonna have a snowball fight.

- *repeatedly hits sprained arm against chair* Do you think I'll need to skip practice?

- It's pregnant - A pregnant lemon? - Yeah!

- Nipples are a trend

- A dynasty of thugs

- My plant is cuter than your candies

- You once brought a travel mug of espresso! - I didn't know! I didn't know... - Please don't tell me you drank it all - ... - Megan!

- Cone earth!

- George Washington is illuminati. Like, Beyonce? She's part of the illuminati; she's part of George Washington.

- Are we in China? Are we in China? Are we in China? Are we in China? - I mean basically. Everything around us was made in China - Not this! I made it at home - You can mold plastic at your house? - Well yeah, I have a gun!

- Do you want me to tell you about my mushroom?!?

- This dice is sexually attractive.

- Are you the fountain? - No, I am not - Are you sure? - If I was a fountain, I would tell you

- Obama is the captain

- I was like, where should this go? So I jumped out a window of course

- What does fish sex smell like? - Like really fishy but also really sexy

- Shoot! I should have said aardvark!

- Can I hold your hair?

- Andressa we've talked about this! You can't keep petting people at the grocery store!

- *says something in Portuguese* *throws clementine at person*

- No I'm dead! This is fun!

- But that's like a European country

- It’s Switzerland, it's about the same as Russia isn't it? - No, no it's not

- Student 1: You're stupid! - Student 2: *slaps Student 1* - Student 1: You're still stupid - Teacher: *laughs*

- I'll give you food if you can count to ten in Basque

- I'm gonna put my octopus on you!

- Emily, sell by dates are lies!

- Anyone want a peeled lemon?

- So to go fast, I gotta be naked!

- Why don't you wax your mustache!

- You're sort of passively on fire

- I have an infinite crocodile

- I'm good at math normally, I swear

- Can you go say hi to a pyramid, in Egypt? Technically you can, it just won't say hi back. So like, you can technically divide by zero, it just won't work - That is very different! - No! It's like the same thing - That has nothing to do with dividing by zero!

- Now, flowers will die. But chicken wings, at least you can eat them

- All nonbinaries love telekinesis

- My super power would be super speed because- - You just want to be the flash!

- Chaotic neutral? More like chaotic gay

- So aside from killing your relatives, there's something else I wanted to say

- They're all my children, but also all my equals, but also infants!

- You wanna go to the beach?!? Let's go to the beach!! - We're just going to the elevator - No let's go to the beach!

- I lay claim to the turtle! I own the turtle under your land!

- If I touch you will you die?

- I really want to drink my seltzer but I'm scared to open it

- Are you on crack? - Only

- Is he vaping? In temple? - We should check if it's kosher

- It's an old Somalian custom to stick Poland Spring labels in coffee. I learned it from the pirates.

- But why would you go to a soccer game in a suit? - Professionals, dude

- You like, basically killed batman

- What if I kidnapped their entire boat?

- I am literally decaying. Lucas, my arm is not on my body

- I'm a reverse vegan

- I am now Hitler! You cannot defeat me, for I am covered in a thick layer of slime. You cannot take my title of Hitler! - I'm pretty sure Hitler was not covered in a thick layer of mucus. At any time

- I paralyzed a shark

- There is no record here of anything sandwich related

- Your lips are like the ocean!

- Everybody needs a French man!

- It will be the Pinocchio of daggers

- Pinocchio you would be a great politician

- You know what? Fuck you, and fuck Italy.

- You're a bathroom

- *really slowly* Baka Baka is the sound a chicken makes. Baka baka baka

- If it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid

- Oh shit, I just opened Safari instead of Chrome - Well, I can't help you now

- Everyone in this room has gotten a wedgie at least once

- Yeah well you got in trouble - I did not get in trouble. I got talked to by a teacher

- Taylor! You did better than me? You're fake!

- It's all from a pizza of my heart

[frighthouseofalighthouse]

I'M GONNA DO IT TO EM' ALL ASKS THAT YOU REBLOG TONIGHT TILL 10 AM TOMORROW.... DO THEM!!!!

Hey, you had to do it to ‘em! Here they are starting with the most recent.

“Weird asks that say a lot”

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs because you can use them for everything. Teacups are too small for a proper cuppa.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars always.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Bubblegum, which I miss so much. I haven’t had it in over 2 years bc of my braces

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

I didn’t go to public school but all the adults who dealt with me said I was sociable and tried to get everyone to do the group projects but no one listened so I ended up sitting alone reading and quietly doing the project.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Glass BOTTLES make it taste superior.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel boho preppy goth best describes my style.

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds, but only rubber tipped ones. The plastic ones never fit in my ears. Also headphones never cover my whole ear right. :/

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows keep my attention span better.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Brewing thunderstorms.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

None. But trampoline if I had to pick.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, and some kind of fruit.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

My main one is Things You Love. My one for writing is Queen And Country, and my other two favorites are Summer Songs and A Queen Knows How To Fight A War.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring, lanyards get in the way.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Swedish Fish or Sour Patch Kids.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

OH MAN. To Kill A Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, Fahrenheit 451, The Grapes Of Wrath, and The Handmaid’s Tale were definitely my top 5 in English class.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Curled up sideways in an armchair with my legs slung over the arm. Sitting normally sucks.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Either pair of my black boots, or my pink floral Skechers that I wear to work.

18. ideal weather?

60 degrees, cloudy, windy, with a chance of rain.

19. sleeping position?

On my right side, arms around a fluffy pillow, one leg out straight and the other drawn up with my knee to my chest.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I’m trying to exercise my hand and wrist so I don’t tire as quick of notebook writing, though.

21. obsession from childhood?

History, Nancy Drew books, Harry Potter, and ghost stories.

22. role model?

The person I am but don’t think I am.

23. strange habits?

Pulling my shirt collar up over my nose and mouth/putting it in my mouth and chewing on it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst, my birthstone! Close second is blue goldstone. (Have you ever seen it? It looks like the universe. I have a worrystone made of blue goldstone and it’s one of my prized possessions.)

25. first song you remember hearing?

Something from church probably. Outside of church probably one of these: If I Had A Hammer // Peter, Paul and Mary, Puff The Magic Dragon // Peter, Paul and Mary, Scarborough Fair // Simon & Garfunkel, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald // Gordon Lightfoot.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Sit in the shade.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Drink tea, read, and play either Pokemon or Nancy Drew and the Clue Benders Society on my 3DS.

28. five songs to describe you?

The Pines // Roses & Revolutions, I Am Here // Pink, Walk Me Home // Pink, Call Home // Heathers (not the musical), Traveler’s Song // Aviators

29. best way to bond with you?

Talk to me about history, crime, musicals, books, or tv shows

30. places that you find sacred?

Natural swamps. Libraries. Old, overgrown gardens. Anywhere historic. Pine forests at dusk. Anywhere under a clear night sky.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A plaid shirt, black leggings, and black boots with dark neutral lipstick and a black choker.

32. top five favorite vines?

Fre she vocado, BENTLEY NOOOOO, uhhh I sure hope it does, the one of Lin Manuel-Miranda trying to brainstorm, and this bitch empty YEEt

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Idk how to find this out

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Idk if this is just a local thing here but WOW ITS NATURESTONE

35. average time you fall asleep?

12-1 nowadays.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

I can haz cheezburger

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Depends. Suitcase for things like my laptop that are better protected than in a duffel bag, but duffel bag otherwise because they’re easier to carry.

38. lemonade or tea?

TEAAAAA

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Both please

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

My house? We had a safe word when we did math. It was “quokka.” If we got overwhelmed we’d say it and then stop and look at pictures of quokkas.

41. last person you texted?

My friend and coworker.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Cardigan or hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Lavender

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy. It takes me a bit to get into fantasy books usually, but sci-fi is hard to follow and superhero is mostly predictable.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Fuzzy pants and a t shirt

47. favorite type of cheese?

Muenster, parmesan, or goat cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Raspberry

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“I have no country to fight for. My country is the earth, and I am a citizen of this world.” - Eugene V. Debs

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

A weird local political ad a couple years back.

51. current stresses?

My recent breakup, an overnight shift I work on Wednesday night, and trying to find time to go out to a corn maze with my friend.

52. favorite font?

Baskerville or Georgia.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Covered in small cuts and scrapes from work, nails picked short, black nail polish mostly peeled off.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

babysitting job: Kids suck never have more than one. Retail job: being on your fee it hardddd

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast or Rapunzel

56. favorite tradition?

Looking at Halloween decorations

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Cutting, being manipulated by my dad, and letting other people make me believe I wasn’t good enough (still working on that one)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Writing, puzzle-solving, singing, and calligraphy

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Oh shit waddup”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

One of those preppy gothic private school animes with a dark secret lurking around the corner

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Book: “Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance. You have to work at it.” - The Handmaid’s Tale. Movie: “It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love.” - Wonder Woman. TV Show: “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.” - Doctor Who.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Richard Gansey III, Blue Sargent, Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Same five that I said describe me.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz and the old American Girl site circa 2009.

65. any permanent scars?

One down my chest from heart surgery as a baby, lots from self harm on my arms/legs, some on my left knee from falling as a kid, and one on the back of my right heel from being pecked by a goose at the fair when I was 11.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Sunflowers, roses, and dahlias.

67. good luck charms?

Myself.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Ranch anything.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Jellyfish have no brains and no heart.

70. left or right handed?

I’m third generation left handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

Vertical stripes.

72. worst subject?

Math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Wendy’s fries and chocolate frosty.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

7. Usually I just ignore it because I have a “high pain tolerance” (which means I like to put myself through minor pains because I think I deserve it)

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Age 5. I was trying to blow up an inflatable ball and it came out.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

ALL POTATOES EXCEPT POTATO SALAD

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Violets.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither, both suck equally.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Never had a school id so I guess the license

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones for me

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

...They are literally the same thing

82. pc or console?

PC

83. writing or drawing?

Writing. I absolutely cannot draw.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts, talk radio is so obnoxious.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie. The clothes are easier to take on and off. I used to accidentally rip polly pocket clothes all the time.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology. I like it because it explains things, it’s creation stories, its origins. Fairy tales are just fantasies or cautionary tales.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies.

87. your greatest fear?

Rejection, drowning, and clowns.

88. your greatest wish?

To be a semi-successful author and historian.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom.

90. luckiest mistake?

Not succeeding in killing myself!

91. boxes or bags?

Bags.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Dim lamps if they have yellow bulbs. I hate white lights. And also fairy lights yes please.

93. nicknames?

Ellie, Ell, Little Lion, Lioness.

94. favorite season?

FALLLLL

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, Spotify, or Instagram.

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

6.

98. favorite historical era?

Revolutionary War-era America or late Victorian England.

THIS GOT REALLY LONG AND I DONT WANNA HIT THE TEXT BLOCK LIMIT SO IMMA DO ALL THE HALLOWEEN ONES SEPARATELY, MAYBE IN THE MORNING.

[chroma-asks]

Out-of-Context Chroma System Quotes

(Good luck guessing who said what if you don’t already actively know)

-Motherfuckin’ Spaghetti-O rectum

-Candied baboon ass

-You wouldn’t happen to have a blow torch, would you? (Followed by) The fuck do I look like, an inventor?

-Would you care for some hot grapes…?

-Pls don’t snu-snu the puppet

-Carbonara bananas

-A meme cowboy who says “Yeetthot”

-What if we had an alter named Bacon

-Skyward Sword isn’t bad, it’s just that the boy’s nose is stupid

-Weiss needs more buttcheeks to fill in for her many assholes

-You ever sit and think that battering rams were probably actually designed to look like dicks but history books didn’t like that?

-Fuck me vibrating spider

-It has a daddy kink and hit on Cthulhu, I’m gonna call it what I want

-I put the romance in ‘necromance’

-Go eat Donald Trump’s toenail clippings

-If you say ‘hachacha’ one more time I’m ripping off your dumb nose to put ice cream into

-Hail the Irish, bitch.

-Yes, please don’t ruffle my onesie, it’s Gucci.

-Stop eating all the orange flavored candies you pathetic weenie

-That’s like eating a burrito on Taco Tuesdays

-How are you doing that you have no pupils

-So If Orion walks around without a shirt, he’s completely naked

-You know your house has thin walls when you can hear grandma farting in the bathroom

-So the plural for tooth is teeth like foot with feet. So why isn’t the plural for boot…. beet?

-Gwen puts the “tit” in “competition”

-(in reference to the crusades)Ye Olde Mosh Pit

-Considering Damon’s been harkin’ Harold’s balls all week, I’d assume the latter

-We’re going on the road to El Dorito

-61 vagànias

-What’s this, the Cryptid Lottery?

-That’s it, I’m calling CPS…….Clown Protective Services

-They are seriously playing Blurred Lines in this old people dance club

-Make your ballet shoes 99.9% better by installing syringes filled with chemo in the back

-Black holes are like the Cotton Eye Joe of space. Where do they come from and where do they go

-Wouldn’t it suck if hurricanes and tornadoes were 96% gas?

-Imagine if Vague’s name was pronounced “vagoo”

-PAKA YOU CANNOT NICKNAME JELOSE “JELLO HENTAI” I SWEAR TO GOD

-Anything is mayonnaise when you put your mind to it

-Hhhhhh smells like gonorrhea

-So wait if YOU’RE me, and I’M me, then who’s piloting the flesh jaeger???

-It’s Meat Time™️

-I dance like a freshly peeled lizard

-If I punch a blunt out of someone’s mouth does that make me a weed-whacker?

-“If we get mistaken for an anime enough do you think somebody out there might write an Mpreg fanfic about Damon” “Dear god I hope not”

-I am become symbiote

-If Naraku can also spin webs can he knit a sweater too????

-REPTILES ARE ASLEEP DO ALL THE THINGS NOW

-Beans beans the good for your heart, the more you eat the more you…… love your girlfriend

-Silence you lesser potato

-So I know beefcake is supposed to refer to really muscly dudes but what is it actually like is it a cake made entirely out of beef or is it a cake shaped like a beef

-My love for cheese is canon

-TASTEY MAN

-That really peels my grapes

-Mom said it’s my turn on the flesh jaeger

-Fish-slapping has an entirely new meaning when it’s Damon and Mero going on a date

-Hello would you like to purchase some salmonella

-You must add the phlegm

-Please don’t put your dick in the Christmas water

-The fuck is a ceviche

-By process of elimination…. you are a bitch.

-You are the Mac to my cheese

-It’s the cloaca.

-SOMEBODY HELP TORY’S BEEN HIT WITH SEXY BITCH DISEASE

-Hey just poppin’ in to let you know the Bethesda thing is happening again, k thanks I love u

-Because stabby stabby blood freezy

-sumfin smlel liek toileeeeeeet

-do you want the beesing phuckchurger or not

-I vote we get a pole cause I wanna be the Lord of the Dance 2, Stripper Edition

-don’t forget to water your Satan

-funky funky chunky chunky, monkey butter pet a bee, beep beep sheep sheep, I’m a baby don’t bite me

-No you absolutely canNOT name my theme “Icy London Icy France”

-What is a serial killer but a humble door-to-door death salesman?

-“Deep-fried for your pleasure” “Only the finest of dildas for our resident slut~”

-Take me down to the paradise city where the cows are green and the grass has tiddy

-“An all nutter” you mean a bukkake

-They gonna make us eat at home like some dirty commoner???

-What was that one Disney movie? Humpback of Notre Dame?

-There is no Iceland, only California 2, Electric Boogaloo

-What if the Earth wasn’t actually rotating, it’s all just water currents pushing the continents at a steady pace

-“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s gasoline”“what the fuck”

-What am I, a BDSM version of a Tickle Me Elmo?

-Fanmade STDs

-Naraku, or as I like to call him; Prime Minister of Sluttington

-Take my gratitude and shove it up your ass

-The inside doctor listens to your insides, the outside doctor listens to your outsides because he forgot to use anesthetics

-Like and subscribe to die instantly

-Have you accepted Beefus as your lord and savior

-Go eat one(1) entire lettuce you fuck.

-up the shut slut

-Where there’s a will, there’s a gay

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN POODLES AREN’T A TYPE OF SHEEPDOG?? THEY’RE THE SHEEPIEST LOOKING MOTHERFUCKERS OF THE DOG WORLD

-I don't know if I wanna do the smashing or the mowing. Either way, your ass is grass

-Treat him gently, he’s just a meatball

-I refuse to believe I know big words

[draconesinfinitum-blog]

Dimensional Breach | Newton’s Separation

Length: 4,400 Words TWs: Violence, Gore, Disturbing Imagery, Language Summary: Gravity fends off an Extradimensional, and Newton is separated from him leading to this RP.

Earth Time: 10:54PM GMT, 27-May-2XXX

“Just a castaway, an island lost at seaaa-oh!”

A blue dragon walked through corridors, echoing the sounds of the dragon’s pitter-patter on the floor, and of someone’s muffled voice in a nearby room singing to themselves. The dragon nudged the door open a bit and peeked into the room, then quickly pulled his head back into the hallway, as if he had been spotted and spooked. But no one spotted him. It was just... a reflex probably. The small dragon (or rather large if you considered slightly overgrown Komodo dragon size to be a large dragon) peered back into the room.

“Another lonely day, with no one here but meeee-oh!”

In the room was a human, dressed comfortably in a T-shirt and shorts, scribbling some strange symbols on five dry erase boards sprawled out against the walls. He appeared to have small headphones on and connected into his left pocket. Probably his phone. 

Some of the symbols on the boards looked familiar to the dragon, some he couldn’t recognize at all, but overall it didn’t make much sense. There was some usual lettering, some Greek letters, some arrows and all sorts of that weird math the human and a green wyvern babbled on about with each other before. And then there were symbols he definitely didn’t recognize from anywhere except when the human wrote it out before. Some strange swiggly lines, pointy looking. Who knows. 

“Mooore loneliness, than any man could beeeaaaar!”

It didn’t seem like the human could hear anything other than the music he was listening to, and he didn’t turn around to see the blue dragon either, and yet the human raised his left hand and motioned a ‘come in’ to the dragon without removing his gaze from the boards. The human explained to the dragon how he was aware of his surroundings like this before, but the dragon didn’t understand the reasoning behind it. Something about the human feeling gravitational fields without using his ears and eyes to see, even so far as to say he really did have ‘eyes on the back of his head.’ But the dragon could see no eyes on the back of the human’s head. That would be really weird. Definitely weirder than how humanoids looked in general anyway.

“Rescue me before I fall into despaaaaiir.”

The dragon nudged the door open all the way and showed himself in. The first thing he did was rush over by the human’s left side and demanded pets by pulling on the human’s shirt with his teeth. And so the human rubbed the dragon’s head and neck while still writing on the board with his other hand.

“I’ll send an SOS to the world! I’ll send an SOS to the world! I hope that someone gets my, I hope that someone gets my, I hope that someone gets my... message in a bottle, yeah.”

The dragon purred from the pets and rubs.

“Message in a bottle, yeah...”

Then, the blue dragon hopped onto a bed nearby and considered it his temporary spot, like a cat finding a random place to sleep. He felt comfortable here, listening to the human’s singing and the scribbling of marker on a board. Sure, the human’s singing wasn’t professional singer quality, but it wasn’t a screechy mess either. And the dragon felt safe here, too. He swished and thumped his tail back and forth on the bed along the human’s singing.

“A year has passed since I wrote my note... I should have known this right from the staaaart.”

The dragon yawned and continued listening to the human singing the current song, then the next... then... he must have dozed off because suddenly there was no more singing, no more scribbling on the board, and most of the lights were off. The dragon panicked for a split second, lifting his head up to see if the human was still there. And sure enough, he was. Phew. The human was on his laptop a few feet away. Looked like he was reading something.

The blue dragon stretched, hopped off the bed and joined the human’s side, shoving his snout in front of the computer screen.

“...”

The human remained silent, focusing on whatever he was reading, but slowly placing his hand on the top of the dragon’s neck and rubbing the textured scales that lined it. The dragon purred and lied his head beside the keyboard. He enjoyed being petted, and the human found dragon scale texturing calming, a way to relieve stress.

“How long did I sleep?” the dragon asked, staring at the computer’s clock and forgetting what time it was when he came in.

“About two hours,” the human responded.

The dragon pulled his head away and looked at the boards. There was different symbols written on them. “D-Did you figure the thing out?” he asked, shoving his snout under the human’s arm, pushing the side of his snout against the human’s chest and giving him a great bit smile.

“Nope,” the human answered, closing his laptop and the only source of light in there. Immediately though, the human waved his hand up in the air and the lights above turned back on. “I still can’t understand why kinetic energy doesn’t interact very well with neutral matter, or how it can be moved in the first place. It’s like its own set of rules contradict each other, and I’m trying to see if it has anything to do with temporal vecto--” He stopped rambling and looked at the dragon, who’s facial expression admitted he had no idea what the human was blabbering on about. 

The human gave a small nudge with his face on the dragon’s snout, similar to that of a kiss. “It’s fine. Curie and I will figure this out eventually.”

The human stood up and got down to the dragon’s level, placing his hands under the dragon’s front legs, around his middle, and effortlessly picking him up. The dragon had to weigh at least three, maybe four hundred pounds at his current size. The dragon kept his front legs wrapped around the human’s neck and lifting his head up high. “Come on, Newton. I brought more supplies yesterday, and I wanted you to try something.”

The human carried Newton down the hallway into another part of the station. He placed the dragon down carefully onto a chair in a kitchen area. Newton sat patiently, swishing his tail from side to side and waiting for the human to return from the nearby counter. He came back with a bowl of fruit, including fresh cut mango, cantaloupe, kiwi, and another bowl of some very strange food Newton hadn’t seen before.

“Here’s your usual favorites, just in case. And this right here,” the human started, holding up a very hairy red fruit, “is called rambutan. If I remember correctly, this sort of tastes like grapes... maybe. Don’t quote me on that,” he explained, ripping the hairy red shell off and exposing its shiny white interior. “Here,” he said, handing the fruit over to Newton. “Just peel and eat the white part. There’s a large inedible seed in the center, so avoid that.” The human wasn’t sure how a dragon like Newton would react to eating the seed, but he wasn’t going to risk anything. Higher leveled dragons seemed to be able eat practically anything, both edible and inedible, but Newton wasn’t at that level yet. Then again, lower leveled dragons appeared to be fine with highly inedible objects, but... He had a feeling Newton wouldn’t like the flavor of the seed anyway.

The dragon took the fruit in his front paws and carefully munched on it, taking the human’s advice to consideration. He practically removed all of the edible parts off the seed in a few seconds. “This is good!! B-But I like mango better. I think. Second best, behind mango,” the dragon said.

The human slid the bowl of rambutan over closer to Newton. “Just dig your claw a bit into the flesh, and peel that bit off,” he told Newton.

--

After some time, the dragon was almost done picking at the last bits of fruit in each bowl. The human didn’t bother leaving the room. He knew if he just left, it would make Newton nervous, and probably get the dragon to start following him. Possibly some kind of abandonment issues, the human thought, but Newton wouldn’t talk about what happened before they met. At least not now. Someday...

...

The human sat up straight, slowing his breathing, and stared off into the distance, focusing on something elsewhere...

“Grav?” the dragon asked, noticing something about Gravity’s composure was different. “Wh-What’s wrong?”

“Stay here,” the human told Newton, and immediately rushing out back into the hallway. Newton jumped out of the chair and started pacing back and forth. He didn’t like this, no no no. Something was wrong, and he wanted to stay close to someone he trusted. He hated being alone like this, and he had this awful feeling in the back of his mind gnawing on him. This wasn’t right...

Newton pitter-pattered his way out the way Gravity went and tried following his faint scent. At some point he lost the scent, and was running aimlessly around the station.

And then it hit him.

The cold... so cold. Newton started shivering. He could see his breath in front of him with every exhale. And that feeling from earlier; it was so much worse. His very scales felt prickly with fear. Newton felt something like this before, and it was a horrible experience, even if indirectly. The blue dragon heard yells from Gravity and other dragons from very far away, echoing through the halls. That’s the voice Newton was looking for!! He tried to pick a direction towards where he thought the voice came from, but the overhead lights shut off suddenly, leaving only the emergency backup lights to dimly light the room, and he stopped. 

Paralyzed...

The dragon keeled over onto the ground. He tried to move, he tried to scream, he tried to even cry, and nothing... There was a loud deafening buzzing in his ears, but it seemed to come from his own head? That kind of deafening. Newton knew something was seriously wrong, something was wrong, wrong, wrong! The dragon tried to roll over, but nO! NO! Something within him told him DON’T turn around, DON’T look. He wanted to cry...

This horrible experience seemed to never end, but suddenly he felt a sharp stinging pain in his stomach, and he was forcibly raised high onto the wall. Newton tried screaming now, but still, nothing. He was so focused on his own pain, he couldn’t pay complete attention to the thing in front of his face.

It was a... humanoid. Hard to see any definite details. It had a cloak covering most of its body. Skeletal limbs had a firm grip on a large scythe, the pointed end embedded deep in Newton’s stomach, and seemed to be attempting to pull the scythe out of Newton with some difficulty. All Newton could remember in precise detail were the three blue glowing eyes, and such a horrendous grin that smiled from ear to ear.

Newton felt like his insides were being ripped apart and pulled out of him, his consciousness fading, but the pain getting exponentially worse. He wanted this to end. He was immensely afraid of death normally, but during this one instance...

That was, until something knocked the humanoid off Newton, and he dropped to the floor. The dragon tried standing back up, but he felt so weak to completely concentrate on what was going on. He managed to get back up on his four legs, and without realizing it, his mouth began to glow. He wanted to scream, but no words came out. It wasn’t out of paralysis this time. No, this was something Newton experienced only a couple of times before, and he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. The blue dragon just realized how upset he was, and his first instinct was to react in this way.

“NEWTON!”

The dragon released his breath towards the intruder, causing a bright explosion to demolish the room and surrounding ones within a large radius. Thankfully, it wasn’t close enough to puncture any sides of the station. The blast injured Gravity, even knocking Newton backwards into another room near the escape pods. Gravity attempted to form a barrier around the explosion beforehand, but he didn’t react fast enough. Just enough to keep Newton alive, albeit severely injured.

The intruding humanoid remained floating in the air, completely unfazed by the blast. If anything, the large scythe it held vaporized in its hands. It seemed to grin, and turned its gaze directly towards Newton in the other room.

“No...” the human managed to say under his breath. The creature quickly floated towards Newton. Gravity focused in on the creature, but couldn’t hold it still. He was still recovering and regenerating the burns from the blast, and he couldn’t do this all at once. He was running out of ideas. If Newton stayed here any longer, the creature could take his life. He couldn’t hide Newton anywhere either, or fend off the creature before it got to Newton. The damned thing took a direct annihilation blast! Instead, Gravity raised his fist. He opened his palm, causing one of the escape pods near Newton to open. He hated doing this. He hated leaving Newton by himself, but he couldn’t think of any other option. At least the escape pod had a hibernation setting on it, and maybe Newton could recover, or at least hang on while Gravity dealt with this situation first.

Before the creature could get to Newton, Gravity flicked his hand, pushing Newton into the escape pod, sealing it, and sending it off, far away from the creature.

“Be safe, Newton...”

The creature gave off a piercing shriek. Gravity finished regenerating over his burns, gaining composure now that all his dragons for sure were far away from this being, he thought. When Newton went looking for him, Gravity told Tesla to gather the other dragons as fast as they could, and get them to another part of the station. They should be able to fend for themselves should this being decide to breach their current location, especially with Gravity’s prized creation, Apex, defending the other dragons.

The creature turned its piercing three-eyed gaze towards Gravity as he walked closer. Something about this creature was familiar... The otherworldly being pulled a bone-like spike from its back, tearing it off without a sign of pain on its face, not even a twitch. Another spike grew in its place almost instantly. The being held the spike outward, and it grew longer, and longer, then curved at the end until it became a sharp piece of metal attached to the bone. It was a replacement scythe, perhaps what the previous scythe came from.

Before the being could charge at Gravity with its newly forged weapon, the human raised his hand, pointing at the being, and lowering his arm down. The being felt a huge shift in acceleration on its body, and slammed down onto the ground. Appeared it can be affected by gravitation, no matter how phantom-like it appeared. “Stay down, you piece of shit...” he told the creature. Gravity threw his arms outward, where two black swords extended from his arms. “I don’t know what you are, but you’re going to regret hurting my dragons,” he growled.

The creature struggled, fighting hard against Gravity’s powers. He pointed a sword at its head. “Why did you come here? Answer me if you want a hint of mercy.”

The creature did not respond. Instead, it looked up at Gravity and opened its glowing mouth wide. No sound came out, but Gravity could hear a deafening buzzing in his head. He immediately fell to the ground next to it, and the creature was released of his gravitational grasp. The creature swung its scythe into Gravity’s chest and pinned him to the wall, just as it did with Newton. 

Gravity remembered this feeling, actually... When he was little... At night. It would come. He knew something was there. The Boogeyman, they called it, or sleep paralysis he heard once he got older. They always said the monster hid in the closet or under the bed, but no. He’d be paralyzed like this, and wouldn’t have the courage to see what was there behind him. That is, until one day his imaginary friend, his prized future creation, came and slayed the monster. How could he forget that...

Gravity attempted to move, but right. The paralysis. He felt his insides being ripped apart, and he couldn’t bring himself to think this is what Newton experienced just minutes prior. It angered him once he came to that realization. It pissed him off. Gravity managed to break free of the paralysis and shoved one of his swords into the monster’s chest. He then knocked the scythe out of the Boogeyman’s hands, raised his leg up against himself, then kicked into the creature’s head as hard as he could. The creature was sent flying backwards with the sword still embedded in its chest, falling flat on the ground with an audible clunk as the sword’s tip embedded itself into the metal floor, trapping the creature in between..

The Boogeyman tried to move, but was held in place by the sword. The sword itself was highly compressed matter, a black hole in the shape of a weapon. Spacetime curved painfully around this point, ripping any matter it came in contact with, thankfully including such a being as the Boogeyman. It didn’t hesitate though, and started to rip itself out of the sword’s place, causing a tear in its side as it slid sideways out of the weapon’s grasp. The creature raised itself back into the air, some noticeable blue glowing organs exposed and hanging out of its side with matching blood oozing out. Despite appearing organic, it certainly wasn’t...

Gravity was a little surprised at how insensitive such a creature was to itself. Not even a hesitated moment, just an immediate reflex. The creature raised its arms, showing it actually had at least two other skeletal pairs of limbs hidden under its cloak. Various other spines on its back tore off and were forged into new scythes, this time all of these floating around the Boogeyman’s form. The weapons started spinning at high speeds, then were flung towards Gravity’s direction. The weapons barely missed Gravity as he dodged. He figured now would be the time to start manipulating the local time, at least have a speed advantage over this being.

Gravity concentrated. The entire room’s minimal light source died down to a complete black as the emitted photons slowed to a pause; the minimal heat available died nearly to zero. He couldn’t see with his eyes, but he still maintained a lock onto the creature through his gravitational sensing. It was definitely massive, and it wasn’t until now that he noticed... The scythes were physically in the 3D plane. The rest of the visible humanoid just barely hovered over the surface, just enough for any available light to interact with, but not enough to be affected by anything physically, very much like a ghost. No wonder Newton’s positron breath did absolutely nothing to it.

“Fucking coward...” he muttered under his breath. He pulled the sword embedded in the ground towards his palm in a telekinetic fashion. He didn’t wait another moment, and charged at the creature, preparing to strike at its physical body...

That is... until the Boogeyman moved. Its three eyes glowed a bright ominous blue, then immediately disappeared from its previous position.

“WHAT?!”

The creature appeared behind him he sensed, but managed to strike him with a scythe in the back. He was paralyzed again. How the hell did this creature move? Gravity’s abilities were still in effect. Time was slowed to a PAUSE, so how did this creature break free from the fucking laws of time? Did it too have time manipulation abilities?

Gravity tried focusing on the creature again. If it could be flung around with gravitational manipulation, then it could be crushed. Gravity managed to break free out of the paralysis through intense focusing again, causing the creature to writhe in pain from the sudden crushing effects. Its blue eyes stopped glowing and lost contact with Gravity, and the time flowed back to normal. It fell to the ground lashing out, causing loads of glowing blue blood to scatter around the room, even on Gravity’s face and clothes when he turned around. “What the hell did you come here for? Tell me,” he ordered.

The creature continued lashing out, ignoring Gravity’s question.

Gravity hadn’t realized, but he could feel rumbling at his feet. His other dragons-- Was this creature attacking various parts of the ship while keeping him preoccupied? He hoped Apex was handling the beast from that end if that was the case...

“Tell me, or I swear I will crush you.”

No response. Instead, the creature gazed back with glowing blue eyes like before. Gravity noticed the vision around the creature was skewed and blurred, like the Boogeyman was the only thing in existence to focus on. It was doing it again, wasn’t it...?

Gravity responded by increasing the acceleration on its head, forcing its skull-like head to start cracking open, where a blue glow emanated from the cracked wound. Whatever this thing was, it certainly was proving to be a HUGE pain in the ass. It infiltrated his station, tried killing one of his dragons, tried killing him, and not even so much as a fucking explanation?

“Tell me, why did you try killing my dragon?! ANSWER ME!”

The human was so angry, he didn’t realize he applied way too much pressure on the creature’s skull. It cracked open.

The creature’s cloak vaporized, exposing its body against the faint emergency backup lights. Despite its head being cracked open, it raised itself up high, exposing even then only a tiny portion of its true body. Many more heads entered into the 3D plane beside the cracked one, surrounding it, hissing and shrieking and deformed. Multiple skeletal limbs appeared around the sides, unattached to the main body, each holding a separate scythe. On top of this, many tentacles lined with blue, unnerving eyes slithered from various parts of its grotesque body and from thin air around it.

Gravity raised a sword and pointed it towards the newly formed being. “Now do you want to answer why you’re here?” he snarled.

The Boogeyman didn’t respond again, and swung its scythes at Gravity. Gravity just barely dodged the attacks. It was time for drastic measures. The human raised arms into the air, where his swords vanished, and yelled, causing portals to form around the creature. Large swords similar to the ones Gravity wielded stabbed into the Boogeyman’s center from all angles, causing the creature to shriek and drop its scythes. The human formed a black hole between his hands, then expanded it slowly. He ran over towards the Boogeyman’s faces and smashed the deadly ball into it directly. The black hole continued to expand, twisting and bending the spacetime field around the Boogeyman.

And yet... the Boogeyman wasn’t giving up. “You motherfucker...” Gravity almost chuckled, nearly out of breath. The creature attempted to rip itself out of its prison, tearing its form apart until pieces of it were free from the black holes that swallowed up the rest of its body. “How the hell are you still alive...” the human muttered. And before his eyes, the Boogeyman attempted piecing various parts of itself together, attempting to forge a new humanoid form out of what was available. 

The human flicked his wrist at the creature, causing it to be pinned against the wall while it continued fusing itself together. He snapped his fingers, causing the large sword portals and the massive black hole at their center to vanish, and forced his swords to form back in his hands. He jolted straight at the Boogeyman’s writhing body and stabbed at it many times. “Die die dIE DIE DIE!” he yelled with each stab, letting his emotions get to him over how much pain and damage this thing caused, how much more it could have caused had he not stepped in, and the fact it didn’t bother answering why it came. It just reacted. He was so sure it enjoyed causing pain earlier, but he couldn’t tell. He didn’t care. He just wanted the fucking thing to die.

The Boogeyman eventually lost the ability to regenerate itself. It gave off one last and louder shriek, a disturbing one at that... This shriek almost sounded like a child screaming in pain, until the shriek was drowned out. It foamed at the mouth and throughout its wounds, choking on its screams and the bubbling fluid. Gravity took a few steps back, a little disturbed about what was happening in front of him. The creature’s body eventually fell to the floor and violently twitched a few times before becoming lifeless. The blue glow throughout its body dimmed. The foam receded back into its body, and the body cracked into a pile of dust.

Gravity fell to his knees, finally considering just how much energy he put into this battle, and how much he let his emotions get to him. He normally kept calm, but something was unusually different about these kinds of fights. He felt scared. He felt like he was powerless against these kinds of things, like he wasn’t in control, despite obviously killing the damned thing.

The very air was still freezing, but eventually it would gradually rise back to room temperature. He stayed down for a couple of minutes to gain his breath. Gravity almost wanted to cry to himself, but then slowly stood back up and pushed through the feeling. There were other things to do, and he couldn’t show weakness at times like these, not even to himself. He’d have to check on his other dragons, assess the damages, and get Newton back.

He rushed over to the escape pod area, fiddled with the mechanisms and attempted to track Newton’s pod’s location.

Location cannot be determined... Rescanning...

Shit...

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

BTS when their S/O leaves notes in their lunch

Being in a relationship with a member of BTS meant you were part of a VERY exclusive group. "Banging Bangtan" as your group chat was so beautifully named by one of the group members. The group chat consisted of the significant others of the 7 BTS members and no-one else. The guys all knew of the chat and had tried to read it when phones were left along but you had all put a special passcode on the particular chat that not a single one of the boys had managed to crack.

Every morning, the seven of you would wake up in your respective homes and insist of making lunch for your partner to take to work. Some of the boys complained a little, saying that they could buy something as they didn't always get time to sit and eat but they all appreciated the gesture and wound up with a plastic tub for lunch. Without fail, every lunch contained a little-handwritten note to help brighten the members days.

BTS had grown into the routine of sitting down in a circle(wherever they were that day) to eat lunch together sharing the notes to amuse each other. All of their partners knew of this ritual and quickly made up a competition to get the best reaction which the boys knew so would send you a message saying who won the group chat for all 14 of you.

They always started with the eldest and worked down to the maknae.

Jin "Okay so shut up, my jagi always writes brilliant notes." He announced loudly so his youngers looked at him and waited in amusement. You and Jin had always shared the same sense of humour, it was what drew you together, so the boys knew your note was always going to be a lame joke Jin would laugh at for the rest of the day. He opened his lunch box and found your note taped to a smaller pot. "This may be a little cheesy but I think you're grape." He read a bright smile on his face before laughing. He liked the joke alone enough as it was but once he saw the contents of the pot, he fell over, laughing so hard.

"Ohmygod, they actually put cheese and grapes in the pot." Jungkook cackled from Jin's right and all of the boys laughed a little, not wanting to admit that Jin's note was already holding strong competition.

Yoongi "Alright, my turn, it's got to be better than some lame joke," Yoongi announced with a scoff as he opened his own lunch. You always taped the note to the inside of the lid so he flipped it over to burst out into laughter, clutching his stomach.

"Did they write a joke?" Hoseok gasped, shuffling over to peer over Yoongi's arm. His jaw dropped and he looked at Yoongi in shock. "Hyung! What is that?!"

The others jumped over to snatch the lid to see the picture. It was a printed screenshot of hentai with 'A present for Namjoonie :)' written across the top in your handwriting.

"What the hell?!" Namjoon shrieked, cheeks turning pink. "How many times do I have to tell you guys I don't watch tentacle porn?!" He exclaimed as all of his members laughed at his expense. "It was once! I was fifteen! We were supposed to never mention it again!"

Hoseok "Okay-okay." He managed through his laughter. "It's my turn now."

"Want the picture?" Yoongi teased, removing the picture to hold it out to Namjoon who only slapped it away with a pout.

"Awwww." Hoseok cooed looking at the little love note you wrote for him. "My jagi is so cute." He turned the note so the boys could see your neat handwriting quoting various songs to him, songs about love and sunshine and all things great in the world. The others just smiled lightly, they had always admired the relationship you two had, it had always been full of such obvious love and neither of you were shy to it no matter who was around. "I'm happy, you can all vote for a dumb joke, my jagi has made me happy," Hoseok announced, smiling down at the note adoringly and taking out his phone, no doubt to message you and thank you for the note and say some soft AF stuff back because that was pretty much the lunch routine for him now.

Namjoon Namjoon was a little anxious to open his lunch, not knowing what would happen. You were known to have some strange ideas of what was classed as normal lunch and once he had opened his lunch to have kimchi stew pour out all over him and the dance room floor. Why you thought to give your clumsy boyfriend stew in a tub without warning, no-one understood and you only grinned innocently when questioned.

The second his eyes found the polaroid resting on his wrapped sandwich, his eyes widened and he closed the lid, cheeks pink and heat rushing to his crotch.

"What does your note say?" Jin asked, eyes sparkling from the laughter tears that had only just stopped from his own note.

"Uh...not a note," Namjoon answered, grasping his lunch tight in case one of his members tried to grab it to find the little gift on their own.

"Then what? Please don't tell me it's handcuffs again." Yoongi sighed.

"No..." Namjoon didn't explain so was met with six pairs of curious eyes. "A picture."

"Picture?" Jungkook repeated confused then his eyes widened as the realisation hit him. "It's a nude!"

"Ohmygod, really hyung?" Jimin gasped. Namjoon nodded meekly.

"Okay, I kinda wanna say hyung wins," Jungkook confessed. "I want a nude with my lunch." He pouted down at his closed tub and made a move to open it but Taehyung swiftly slapped his hand away.

"No, that's not the rules." Taehyung reminded. "Wait your turn, Kookie." Jungkook pouted harder and looked to Jimin, waiting for him to open his lunch so he could get to his own quicker.

"I uh...I'll be back," Namjoon announced before jumping up to run to the privacy of the bathroom. Behind the locked door, he video called you, glad to find you waiting in the lingerie he bought you only two days previous.

Jimin "Should I wait?" Jimin asked, looking around the group.

"Nah, he'll be a while," Taehyung replied with a shrug. "Hyung takes a while to masturbate."

"Why do you even know that?" Hoseok asked, giving Taehyung a disgusted look.

"We were roommates," Taehyung replied as if it was obvious. It was a good enough reason for all of them and Jimin opened his lunch.

"Aww, it's a peach sticky note!" Jimin cooed peeling the note off the tub to read it. He giggled and blushed at your words.

"What does sit say?" Yoongi questioned.

"I saw this in the store yesterday and it made me think of you. A nice, round, juicy, soft yet firm peach just like your nice, round, juicy, soft yet firm booty." The boys all chuckled at Jimin's obvious embarrassment. Most of the time, your notes were much like Hoseok's but now and then you'd write something a little inappropriate. "I love you Jiminie and hope you have a great day and come back home smiling so I can admire your peach some more." Jimin smiled and held the note a little closer affectionately. "At least I got an 'I love you'." He teased proudly.

Taehyung "I'm sure my babe will have put how much they love me." Taehyung boasted, opening his lunch. Much like Namjoon, Taehyung had a polaroid and he suddenly wondered if you had lent your camera to Namjoon's partner so they could take the photo, or taken it yourself. You weren't shy of naked people and actually liked taking nudes of others, which is why you managed to have almost a whole album of Taehyung's nudes hidden under your bed so none of your friends found them. "Aw, my babies!" He cooed holding the picture of you and your dog up to look at it fondly.

"There's writing on the back," Jin informed, already eating his homemade meal happily.

Taehyung turned the small square over and read your writing with a slight squint. Your handwriting was only neat when slightly oversized so writing at half your normal size meant your lettering almost morphed into one long word. "So you know how we bought those cookies at the store yesterday? Well, I may or may not have eaten them all BUT it was all pup-pup's fault! He made me so he could eat some too!"  Taehyung's features screamed betrayal and his friends laughed at his misfortune. "So, you don't have the store bought cookies BUT WE MADE YOU BETTER ONES!" Taehyung's lips curled up slightly as he thought about you baking for him. He carefully placed the polaroid down on his knee only for Jimin to pick it up and coo over how cute you and your dog were. Taehyung looked into his box to find mini heart shaped biscuits with I love you piped onto each with sparkling pink glitter sprinkles on top. "I told you they'd do it!" Taehyung beamed happily, showing the writing on the treats before popping one in his mouth. "Ahhh love tastes so good!"

Jungkook "Finally, my turn!" Jungkook opened the box and grinned at the immaculately prepared lunch in front of him. You always gave him a bigger lunch than any of the others received and it was always presented perfectly. You liked everything you made to look pretty and inviting, you were an aspiring artist after all.

"Hm, you don't have a note," Jin noted confused. 

You had been giving Jungkook notes before any of the others got notes from their significant others but that's not surprising when revealed that you and Jungkook had been together since you were both fifteen, longer than any of the other couples.

Jungkook didn't respond but frowned to himself. How could you forget his note? You knew how much he looked forward to them even if he didn't always thank you for the extra effort or state his feelings verbally, he always showed his love and appreciation in other ways.

"Jungkook." BTS' manager called walking into the room. They all looked over to see him holding a giant item, covered by a plain sheet. He looked fed up and annoyed with whatever he held.

"Hyung?" Jungkook replied, getting up to approach as their manager placed the item down carefully, making sure it stood upright. It was the same size as Jungkook.

"You tell Y/N that next time they blackmail me, I will get Bang PD to make you break up with them." He warned but his threat was empty. He had said the same thing many times before.

"Oh, sorry, hyung." Jungkook apologised, eyes flickering to the item. "Is this from Y/N?"

"Yep, have fun." With that, he left the BTS boys to finish their lunch break in peace.

"Ooh, what is it?" Taehyung cooed. "Take the sheet of Jungkookie." He encouraged so Jungkook did, falling to his knees in laughter at the handmade board shaped like him only, entirely naked.

"Of course your partner is as extra as you," Yoongi grumbled, shoving food into his mouth.

"Did Y/N make this?" Jimin asked impressed as he moved over to inspect the board closely. "Ooh, it's a collage!" He announced so all the boys rushed over to see.

"This must've taken ages!" Jin gasped in awe.

The board consisted of thousands of little hand drawn pictures of things Jungkook liked, things that made him smile.  The individual pictures weren't obvious until the viewer got close enough. From a distance, it just looked like the board was coloured in a pixel style, your personal preference for colouring to give your work it's own unique stamp.

"Must be why I wasn't allowed in the spare room." Jungkook realised as he eyed your work. He knew it took you weeks to complete, hours a day spent locked in the spare room of your shared apartment while Jungkook played his video games to stop himself sulking at the lack of attention.

"A note!" Hoseok exclaimed pulling a note from the back as he walked around to inspect your artistic abilities, he half expected the back to have Jungkook's backside on but, it was just bare. "Awww." He cooed as he started to read it automatically. “Things that make up my world, Jeon Jungkook.”

"Hey! That's mine!" Jungkook argued, taking the paper with a pout while Hoseok giggled. Jungkook walked away to read it, his smile brightening with every word until his cheeks hurt and his eyes glistened with tears.

"Are you crying?" Namjoon asked as he walked back into the room, cheeks tinged pink from exertion but no-one pointed it out.

"Kook won," Hoseok announced, knowing Jungkook wanted to have a moment to collect himself. "Y/N made this and wrote the cutest note I have ever read. If I wasn't already in love with my own jagi, I'd say I just fell for Y/N."

"Oh, it was that good?" Namjoon lifted his eyebrows in surprise. 

Even though you didn't hide your love for Jungkook, it wasn't something you boasted about. If it was mentioned, you'd happily talk about how he was your everything, your reason for smiling every day and trying to make something of yourself to make him proud, most of the time, you two were just a really chill couple. You teased each other and had playfights just like you had your whole lives, even before your relationship started. It was rare for you two to get publically sappy so they were all surprised that you wrote him such a note and left it somewhere anyone could find it.

"I think...I'm engaged." Jungkook finally announced, looking over at his hyungs, a shit eating grin on his face. He walked over to the board and found the hidden compartment in the stand to pull out a silver ring. He laughed, tears in his eyes and put it on his ring finger.

"Our baby is all grown up!" Hoseok screeched before pouncing on Jungkook with a congratulatory hug. They each took their turn to congratulate the maknae for his sudden engagement.

As they sat down to eat their lunch and discuss Jungkook's future wedding and life as a married man, they knew that no note would ever beat Jungkook's proposal.

A/N- WHY DID I MAKE IT END LIKE THIS WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME WHY DID I WRITE JUNGKOOK GETTING ENGAGED IT WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE A NUDEY COLLAGE WITH A DUMB NOTE WHY DID I GET ALL SOFT???!

Masterlist

[wineanddinosaur]

Just How Natural Are ‘Natural’ Flavorings?

“It always makes me smile when someone says [the term ‘natural flavors’] is ambiguous, because it’s very clearly defined for people in the industry,” Marie Wright, chief global flavorist for Archer Daniels Midland, says. “But I do think there’s a lot of misinterpretation in that arena.”

Anyone who’s browsed the shelves of their local grocery store will of course be familiar with the phrase “contains natural flavors.” In fact, in its research of 80,000 food products, the non-profit Environmental Working Group found that natural flavors are the fourth most common ingredient listed on food labels, behind salt, water, and sugar.

Scour the alcohol section of a grocery store and natural flavors are once again commonplace, most notably on the packaging of hard seltzers. Head to the liquor store, too, and you’ll find natural flavors listed on the labels of many distilled spirits, including flavored vodka, rum, gin, brandy, and even whiskey.

But familiarity with the term does not equate to understanding. And the “misinterpretation” surrounding the ingredient, as Wright describes it, persists.

A Google search of the query “what are natural flavors” returns articles with headlines that border on scaremongering, including: “The Horrifying Truth Behind Natural Flavors,” “Are ‘Natural Flavors’ Really Natural?”, and “Natural Flavors- Added Flavor or Added Risk?”

As Wright points out, there are set-in-stone guidelines for what constitutes a natural flavor (we’ll get to those briefly), but clearly, some still question the validity of the term “natural.” So why the great divide?

What Are Natural Flavors and How Are They Made?

The Food and Drug Administration’s definition of a natural flavor is long and complicated, and includes technical jargon like “oleoresin,” “protein hydrolysate,” and “enzymolysis.” But essentially, it refers to natural flavors as the oils, resins, or other extracts derived from natural sources, which include animals, spices, fruits, vegetables, and plants.

Flavorist scientists such as Wright recreate flavor profiles found in nature for commercial use. They work with clients, including large-scale alcohol brands, to develop new flavors by extracting solids and essential oils from natural sources, and by harnessing scientific processes that range from the familiar (distillation and fermentation) to the highly technical (chromatography).

This process takes place in a lab, which is why some may feel air quotes are required when talking about natural flavors. Another reason for skepticism is that, per the FDA’s regulations, any combination of naturally derived ingredients can be used to create a natural flavor, even if the ingredients have no relation to the product they’re trying to mimic.

So the natural strawberry flavoring in a popular hard seltzer brand, for example, may also contain extracts taken from raspberry and jasmine, as well as molecules created by fermenting other natural ingredients. On product labels, however, the ingredient will still be listed as natural strawberry flavor.

According to Wright, there’s a good reason for this. “When you extract strawberry, it’s mainly water,” she explains. “Most of the volatiles are there in such small amounts, it really doesn’t taste of strawberry.” To recreate the flavor profile we as consumers expect, the other ingredients are essential.

In other instances, the flavors we associate with certain fruits may not even be present in the fruit itself. Black cherry, Wright says, is a great example. “When you taste black cherries, they don’t have a lot of flavor,” she says. “They’re slightly fruity, but a lot of the appeal comes from the texture and the juiciness. If you make [a flavor] that really replicates a true black cherry, then it’s not consumer-preferred.”

How Is the Flavor Industry Regulated?

The burning question for many consumers is whether these flavorings are indeed natural and, more importantly, safe.

Wright explains that, for the most part, the flavor industry self-regulates. But flavor manufacturers, such as Archer Daniels Midland, work closely with organizations like the Flavor and Extract Manufacturers Association of the United States (FEMA) to ensure all of their ingredients comply with national regulations. “Everything we use goes through toxicology screenings,” she says. “Safety is our top priority.”

Archer Daniels Midland also employs regulatory experts who keep a file of every formula the company creates. “If somebody came in and wanted to audit [us], it would all be there,” Wright says.

When alcohol brands wish to release a new product, they need to submit the beverage’s formula to governmental agencies such as the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB) and the FDA for review. (The TTB has jurisdiction over distilled spirits, wines above 7 percent ABV, and brewed products made with both malted barley and hops — essentially beer; the FDA oversees the rest. In reality, however, the two agencies regularly work closely together.)

When reviewing the composition of new products, the TTB and the FDA check that there are no prohibited ingredients in the beverage (including in its flavorings) and that the levels of certain ingredients do not exceed what’s legally allowed. They’ll also dissect whether any claims being made on the beverage’s proposed label — if its flavoring is “natural,” for example — are accurate.

“We’re trying to make sure [producers] are not misleading the consumer as to what it is that’s in the bottle,” Tom Hogue, a spokesperson for the TTB, tells VinePair.

Natural Flavors vs. Fresh Ingredients

In the case of ingredients such as strawberries and cherries, which don’t have concentrated flavors, the need to work with flavor manufacturers seems fairly straightforward. But if you’ve ever juiced a Valencia orange, or expressed a lemon peel over a cocktail, you’ll know that some of nature’s bounties are highly expressive in their most basic form. So why, then, do we still manufacture natural flavors for these ingredients?

For a start, flavorings offer a more cost-efficient option than fresh ingredients. They also nullify the risk of things like vintage variation.

“At one time, there were 10 times more grape-flavored products than grapes grown,” Gary Reineccius, a flavor chemist at the University of Minnesota, told NPR in a 2017 interview. “If you’re going to use all your grapes on grape soda, you don’t have any for wine. It would be exceedingly expensive. Then what do you do with the byproduct you create after you’ve sucked all the juice out of the grape?”

Using natural flavors also allows “consistency of quality,” Wright explains, and helps provide a product that’s stable for the entire shelf life of the food or beverage it’s used in. (Those among us who have picked up an old, dusty IPA from the shelf of their local beer shop will know just how quickly the flavors provided by fresh ingredients, such as hops, can degrade over time.)

Ultimately, Wright says, the flavor industry is not trying to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. “We’re not out to trick people; we follow the regulations,” she says.

The FDA’s guidelines do ensure that the term “natural flavors” is not ambiguous in the same way as, say, a “handmade” vodka, or a “small batch” bourbon. But just how “natural” an ingredient that’s produced by a scientist in a lab is, remains up for (mis)interpretation. And for now, at least, neither the FDA nor the TTB holds jurisdiction over semantics.

The article Just How Natural Are ‘Natural’ Flavorings? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/natural-flavor-meaning-ingredients/

[johnboothus]

Just How Natural Are Natural Flavorings?

“It always makes me smile when someone says [the term ‘natural flavors’] is ambiguous, because it’s very clearly defined for people in the industry,” Marie Wright, chief global flavorist for Archer Daniels Midland, says. “But I do think there’s a lot of misinterpretation in that arena.”

Anyone who’s browsed the shelves of their local grocery store will of course be familiar with the phrase “contains natural flavors.” In fact, in its research of 80,000 food products, the non-profit Environmental Working Group found that natural flavors are the fourth most common ingredient listed on food labels, behind salt, water, and sugar.

Scour the alcohol section of a grocery store and natural flavors are once again commonplace, most notably on the packaging of hard seltzers. Head to the liquor store, too, and you’ll find natural flavors listed on the labels of many distilled spirits, including flavored vodka, rum, gin, brandy, and even whiskey.

But familiarity with the term does not equate to understanding. And the “misinterpretation” surrounding the ingredient, as Wright describes it, persists.

A Google search of the query “what are natural flavors” returns articles with headlines that border on scaremongering, including: “The Horrifying Truth Behind Natural Flavors,” “Are ‘Natural Flavors’ Really Natural?”, and “Natural Flavors- Added Flavor or Added Risk?”

As Wright points out, there are set-in-stone guidelines for what constitutes a natural flavor (we’ll get to those briefly), but clearly, some still question the validity of the term “natural.” So why the great divide?

What Are Natural Flavors and How Are They Made?

The Food and Drug Administration’s definition of a natural flavor is long and complicated, and includes technical jargon like “oleoresin,” “protein hydrolysate,” and “enzymolysis.” But essentially, it refers to natural flavors as the oils, resins, or other extracts derived from natural sources, which include animals, spices, fruits, vegetables, and plants.

Flavorist scientists such as Wright recreate flavor profiles found in nature for commercial use. They work with clients, including large-scale alcohol brands, to develop new flavors by extracting solids and essential oils from natural sources, and by harnessing scientific processes that range from the familiar (distillation and fermentation) to the highly technical (chromatography).

This process takes place in a lab, which is why some may feel air quotes are required when talking about natural flavors. Another reason for skepticism is that, per the FDA’s regulations, any combination of naturally derived ingredients can be used to create a natural flavor, even if the ingredients have no relation to the product they’re trying to mimic.

So the natural strawberry flavoring in a popular hard seltzer brand, for example, may also contain extracts taken from raspberry and jasmine, as well as molecules created by fermenting other natural ingredients. On product labels, however, the ingredient will still be listed as natural strawberry flavor.

According to Wright, there’s a good reason for this. “When you extract strawberry, it’s mainly water,” she explains. “Most of the volatiles are there in such small amounts, it really doesn’t taste of strawberry.” To recreate the flavor profile we as consumers expect, the other ingredients are essential.

In other instances, the flavors we associate with certain fruits may not even be present in the fruit itself. Black cherry, Wright says, is a great example. “When you taste black cherries, they don’t have a lot of flavor,” she says. “They’re slightly fruity, but a lot of the appeal comes from the texture and the juiciness. If you make [a flavor] that really replicates a true black cherry, then it’s not consumer-preferred.”

How Is the Flavor Industry Regulated?

The burning question for many consumers is whether these flavorings are indeed natural and, more importantly, safe.

Wright explains that, for the most part, the flavor industry self-regulates. But flavor manufacturers, such as Archer Daniels Midland, work closely with organizations like the Flavor and Extract Manufacturers Association of the United States (FEMA) to ensure all of their ingredients comply with national regulations. “Everything we use goes through toxicology screenings,” she says. “Safety is our top priority.”

Archer Daniels Midland also employs regulatory experts who keep a file of every formula the company creates. “If somebody came in and wanted to audit [us], it would all be there,” Wright says.

When alcohol brands wish to release a new product, they need to submit the beverage’s formula to governmental agencies such as the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB) and the FDA for review. (The TTB has jurisdiction over distilled spirits, wines above 7 percent ABV, and brewed products made with both malted barley and hops — essentially beer; the FDA oversees the rest. In reality, however, the two agencies regularly work closely together.)

When reviewing the composition of new products, the TTB and the FDA check that there are no prohibited ingredients in the beverage (including in its flavorings) and that the levels of certain ingredients do not exceed what’s legally allowed. They’ll also dissect whether any claims being made on the beverage’s proposed label — if its flavoring is “natural,” for example — are accurate.

“We’re trying to make sure [producers] are not misleading the consumer as to what it is that’s in the bottle,” Tom Hogue, a spokesperson for the TTB, tells VinePair.

Natural Flavors vs. Fresh Ingredients

In the case of ingredients such as strawberries and cherries, which don’t have concentrated flavors, the need to work with flavor manufacturers seems fairly straightforward. But if you’ve ever juiced a Valencia orange, or expressed a lemon peel over a cocktail, you’ll know that some of nature’s bounties are highly expressive in their most basic form. So why, then, do we still manufacture natural flavors for these ingredients?

For a start, flavorings offer a more cost-efficient option than fresh ingredients. They also nullify the risk of things like vintage variation.

“At one time, there were 10 times more grape-flavored products than grapes grown,” Gary Reineccius, a flavor chemist at the University of Minnesota, told NPR in a 2017 interview. “If you’re going to use all your grapes on grape soda, you don’t have any for wine. It would be exceedingly expensive. Then what do you do with the byproduct you create after you’ve sucked all the juice out of the grape?”

Using natural flavors also allows “consistency of quality,” Wright explains, and helps provide a product that’s stable for the entire shelf life of the food or beverage it’s used in. (Those among us who have picked up an old, dusty IPA from the shelf of their local beer shop will know just how quickly the flavors provided by fresh ingredients, such as hops, can degrade over time.)

Ultimately, Wright says, the flavor industry is not trying to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. “We’re not out to trick people; we follow the regulations,” she says.

The FDA’s guidelines do ensure that the term “natural flavors” is not ambiguous in the same way as, say, a “handmade” vodka, or a “small batch” bourbon. But just how “natural” an ingredient that’s produced by a scientist in a lab is, remains up for (mis)interpretation. And for now, at least, neither the FDA nor the TTB holds jurisdiction over semantics.

The article Just How Natural Are ‘Natural’ Flavorings? appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/natural-flavor-meaning-ingredients/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/just-how-natural-are-natural-flavorings

[darkstrangevirgilanxiboi]

Things I Said In Trade School - Part 1

All right so you all know by now that I'm a sarcastic little shit and a rebellious youth.

Enjoy some of my best lines from my 9 and a half months in Jobcorps ! I'll spill the story behind the line if you send in the line! ~

" It's 6 am, I haven't had caffeine, my personality is still loading, and if we aren't going to commit murder then I'm not leaving my bed. "

' I wonder how Brittany got this far in life when she ,at the age of 24, believes lipstick is made from fairie poop. "

" I may look calm on the surface but on the inside ,there's a raging typhoon that will only be soothed by the sacrificial blood of twelve whiny dudebros "

Friend : You're going to the dance in ripped jeans , a Flash t-shirt and a baggy hoodie your dad got in the 70's?

Me: I want to convince the elderly chaperones I'm a time traveling spy

" BREAKFAST IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT, YOU CAN HAVE BREAKFAST FOOD WHENEVER YOU WANT ,LIVE YOUR LIFE FREE OF FOOD POLICING SUBURBIA "

" Are we not gonna talk about how the X-Men franchise is inherently coded to speak to queer youth ?"

Friend : You bringing this up because you're gay for Jean Gray or because we're about to go catch the new movie?

Me :.... Both. Also I'm gay for Rogue too

" Jessica, honey, you've disappointed not only me ,but your ancestors. Your first genetic donor regrets contributing to your birth. You're 25 years old and....you actually think.... humans get babies from....the stork. "

" Extenuating circumstances have resulted in me not giving a single fuck "

" I can fix this, but I'll need sixteen peeled grapes, toothpicks, tomato sauce , and the sworn loyalty of a young stable boy . "

" I didn't wear an authentic 19th century dress just to be ignored at this dance "

" The good news is we don't have rats in the dorm. The bad news is the demon subscribed to Real Housewifes of New Jersey ."

" You know , if I'd just traded my ability to feel joy to that sorceress, none of this would have happened. "

" I know YOU saw a UFO, I saw a UFO, the whole school saw the UFO, but if the military finds out we saw them snipe it down, they snipe US down, so shut up. Incident RosWhaaat is taboo."

" All right, we've had a decent run at life. Some of us are going to survive this , and Kirby will have a nice funeral service. "

" If you're going to quote musicals at me, I hope you know I plan on going out swinging. "

Dudebro: Wanna dance sweetie???

Friend: Oh no .

Me : Not a chance .* launches into 'I Don't Dance from High School Musical 2*

* draped dramatically over a bridge railing *

" I trusted him, and he let me down. Never trust a man , my loves. NEVER. "

Friend : Is this about what I think it's about?

Me : YES

-hears weird thudding on the dorm when I'm alone -

" Oh yeah, dark demon Ethuzeluh? Two can play this game , I'm gonna blast the entire soundtrack of Grease at you "

- thudding stops -