#&& verse. just a kid playing with some dangerous toys

[jojoisnomo]

New tags since my nav page is broken anyway...

[encrucijada]

infodump abt pathetic man adam

funniest ask i've ever gotten. no context. anonymous. a simple request.

a list of things i think i haven't talked about regarding adam, some that i have, from both the pjoverse and dreamersverse:

adam is actually pretty decent around kids. he was second in command of the apollo cabin for 5ish years before his brother lee fletcher died in the battle of the labyrinth and he was made counsellor for the battle of manhattan. adam is like that cool older brother in a 90s tv show who lets you drink beer when you shouldn't have.

in both verses he works at a bar. both as a bartender and as entertainment, depends on the day of the week. he does gigs elsewhere when he can. forewent university, didn't think he had the brain for it because of his frankly debilitating adhd. adam barely graduated high school.

weapon of choice in the pjoverse is the recurve bow because son of apollo. is capable of fighting melee (with a sword) if the situation demands it, but just barely. in the dreamersverse it's actually the opposite, he doesn't shoot with a bow at all and prefers to have something he can brute force hit things with.

speaking of debilitating adhd. adam is always fidgeting even if just a little, rarely does his leg stop bouncing and he has a clicker toy he carries in his pocket. plays around with rubix cubes not to solve them but just to spin them around. hums songs as a stim (<- he shares this one with piedad). cannot function without caffeine.

has the talent but not the creativity. can sing just about anything but not write any of his own music.

in the pjoverse he avoids singing in uncontrolled environments, because even having control over his powers he never knows if he could cause some weird side effects. only feels truly unrestrained in battle or at camp.

adam is the way he is because i was trying super hard not to make your typical "golden boy" son of apollo. also because i found the loveless cover of middle of the night. my hand accidentally slipped and now... he's this.

my best friend irl called him "cold, cutting, and prideful".

i dunno about pjoverse adam but dreamersverse adam's got a couple of tattoos. including but not limited to: a sun on his forearm, wings from his shoulder blades to the backs of his arms, a hawk eating a rabbit, three stars on his ribs, and my notes says i'm giving him a sleeve tattoo.

he never participated in a proper quest but he was there for every single bead that's on annabeth's camp necklace. was already at camp when luke first arrived.

his fatal flaw is arrogance ("however bright you shine, i shine brighter")

has a substantial collection of scars as every demigod does but of note we've got: on his cheekbone, going down from his collarbone, the stab scar on his gut. these also translate to the dreamersverse.

the only thing he got from apollo appearance-wise are the eyes. adam tends to let his hair get long until he starts considering it obnoxious, then he asks the aphrodite cabin to cut it. if you're in cabin 7 and have had hairclips gone missing, he probably took them.

if you've read pt.1 of pointed north you know candy calls adam "mi príncipe". this means "my prince."

i might be giving him brown eyes in keep staring.

his last names are flipped depending on the verse! pjoverse he's adam rubio guerra, since rubio means "fair-haired" and i thought it sounded like a child of apollo lastname. in the dreamersverse he's adam guerra rubio, guerra means "war".

has always wanted a dog.

having a weighed blanket would cure him but he doesn't know this. what he does know is he sleeps best when piedad lays on top of him.

broke his nose and it never healed quite right.

never dare him to do something while he's drunk. he will do it, no matter how dangerous it might be. the safest thing he could be doing post-break up is making out with whoever gives him attention while inebriated.

[salstray]

Vibe Check

OC (Cobalt) x OC (self insert <3)

3.1K Words Warnings: smut - sorta. (Vibrators, anal play, jorkin it, but no actual sex)

Cobalt tries to float the idea of those remote control vibrators to his fiance, Rose. When she turns him down, a non negotiable no, he takes matters into his own hands... and puts the control in hers.

(A/N: I'm not well versed in smut or smutty things, so I'm sorry if this isn't the best. I'm still only just dipping my toes in that specific pool.)

        “Hey, baby…”

        I glanced down at my lap, where Cobalt’s head was laying. He was on his phone, his eyes still on the screen, a little smile curling at his lips. Never a good sign.

        “Hm?” I looked back towards the TV. Waiting for whatever would come next.

        “You know those remote control vibrators?”

        Of course.

        “Yes and for your next question – absolutely not.”

        His eyes twisted up towards mine, his smile vanishing into a pout. His tail flickered down near his waist, the tip of it smacking against the side of the couch. “Why not?”

        “Because I am not giving you that sort of toy. I know you’ll abuse the power in a heartbeat and you know I don’t like doing that kind of thing in public.” I was a very private person. It was a struggle sometimes for me to even let Cobalt kiss me where people could see it. Hell, holding his hand still made me blush sometimes if we were anywhere but at home – alone.

        He hummed. Low and long. Obviously upset or annoyed, yet unwilling to push any further, since he knew it was a hard no from me.

        Cobalt kept scrolling on whatever app he had chosen for the night. I continued watching the TV.

        A few minutes passed.

        “I bought one.”

        “I’m not using it.”

        “I know.” My eyes slipped down, spotting his face, twisted with another smile. Wider and more mischievous then the last. He noticed and turned that smile on me. It grew, hinting at his teeth. “I’m gonna use it.”

        My brows raised high as I stared at him. He giggled, pure evil, as I did.

        “Listen, Rosie. I know you don’t want it, but I wanna have a little fun… live a little dangerously… so I’m gonna get the app on your phone and let you abuse the power.”

        “...that’s a bad idea.” Cobalt was the pervert out of the two of us. Handsy, mouthy, mean – when I wanted him to be – with absolutely no shame to slow him down… but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t very interested in how this would turn out.

        “Probably,” he said with a shrug. “But like I said… I wanna have a little fun… and I saw they have one’s specifically for prostate stimulation, soooooooo…” I shook my head and rolled my eyes, reaching down to run my fingers through his hair as he giggled again.

        “You’re a maniac.”

        “You still love me, though!”

        “Yeah, for some fuckin’ reason.”

--

        “Rose, can I borrow your phone.”

        “What for?” I asked as I pulled it free from my pocket to hand to him. Cobalt knew my password and quickly unlocked the thing as soon as he had it in his sticky little fingers.

        “Remember that little conversation we had like a week ago?”

        My memories rolled forward. Flipping back and forth like I was clicking through channels on cable. Cobalt and I talked a lot – we lived together. We were engaged. I didn’t have a job and he was all over me the second he was home from his.

        “Which one?”

        “Abooouuutttt… this?” He turned the screen around, grinning like a kid on Christmas, his tongue poking between his teeth as I spotted the pink and purple vibrator app he’d just started downloading onto my phone.

        “Oh… yeah, I remember that…”

        His eyes blazed bright. The unnatural black only enhancing the sudden glow of his royal blue iris. “Then I’m sure you can guess why I’ve just done this.”

        I tried to be casual. To fight the blush back with my teeth and my nails. “I’m guessing it got here…?”

        “Mhm!” Slowly, I nodded as I poked my way through the app. “There should be a code in the box that we can use to connect it to your phone.”

        “...you sure you wanna give me this sort of power, Co?”

        Cobalt’s grin turned wicked and he leaned forward, planting one hand on my desk and curling the other around the backrest of my swivel chair to hold me still. “Baby, I’d let you do literally anything to me. This? Is nothing.” He used his hold on the chair to suddenly jerk me forward and I squeaked in surprise – only for him to swiftly kiss me on the head before standing up and wandering off. “I’m gonna go open it!”

--

        Cobalt, being the mad man he was, wanted to try it out for the first time in public.

        Me, being at least slightly sensible and easily flustered, utterly refused and made him take our test run at home. Like normal people.

        Well, as normal as we could fucking be…

        We were in the bedroom to start. Cobalt was stark naked, standing in the center of the room with my phone in his hands, the paper with the registration number pinched between his fingers as he navigated his way through the app to connect it. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, inspecting it. I’d never seen a vibrator like this before and I was curious.

        “I think I got it,” Cobalt muttered. His eyes flickered up towards the toy as his thumb pressed something on the screen. I jumped in surprise as the slim, misshapen end of it started to buzz. It was so aggressive. The whole thing wiggled and shook, the vibrations going all the way down into my wrist as I kept hold of it. When his thumb lifted it stopped abruptly.

        My eyes met his as he smiled like a shark. All of his teeth on display.

        I very pointedly did not look anywhere other then his face.

        “Time to swap,” he said softly, prowling forward and handing my phone back to me, still smiling wide at the sight of my flushed, burning cheeks. I took hold of it as he plucked the toy from my fingers.

        Cobalt pressed forward a moment later, making me gasp in surprise as his lips slid against my own, groaning low in his throat as his tongue tasted mine. It was quick and disorienting and he sighed softly when he pulled away again, his other hand reaching towards the nightstand. Towards the lube.

        “Wanna help me with this, baby?” he purred, still close enough for our lips to brush together.

        “I… I d-don’t know… how much help I’d be…” We’d never done anything like this before. I was absolutely not into anything to do with anal and he’d never brought it up. I knew he’d been with men before – he was open and proud about his whorish past – but he’d never asked for anything from me in that way. Never seemed to want it. Up until now.

        He hummed as he popped the cap open. I jumped a little at the sound, still staring up into his eyes, unable to look anyway.

        “Don’t need the help, in all honesty… but I love how red you get at new things like this…” he inched forward, fully hinged at the waist, settling his chin on my shoulder so he could whisper directly into my ear. I jumped again at the sudden slick sounds I heard as his shoulders flexed and moved alongside his hands. “My pretty girl… so shy… even after we’ve been together for so long…”

        I blinked rapidly, staring hard at the far wall. “I can’t help it,” I whispered back, my hands tightening to fists. One was twisted in the sheets beside my thighs. The other had a death grip on my phone, the app still lit up on its surface.

        “I know, sweetheart… I still love it…” He sucked in a quiet breath through his teeth as he contorted a little. A soft moan echoed through the room. “God… this is gonna be so much fucking fun…” The wet, slippery sounds got a little louder and Cobalt let out a shaky sigh. “Haahhh… almost there, baby. Been a while since I’ve done this…” His head dipped and his forehead rested against my shoulder as he started to pant. “Just a… a lil’ more…”

        I knew when he whined that he’d finally pushed it into place. My own breath had gone shallow at that point, fire burning at my cheeks and pooling low in my belly at the sounds he’d been making. It was truly unfair how hot Cobalt could be-

        “Alright,” he breathed deep, pulling back just far enough to look me in the eyes, his forehead now pressed against my own. “Give it a shot, baby,” he muttered. Breathless. He planted his palms on the bed beside me, holding himself up as he waited. “Let me feel it.”

        I swallowed hard, my eyes flickering down to my phone as the screen dimmed from inactivity. Cobalt inched back a little further to let me focus on it and I did my best not to stare at how rock hard his dick had gotten as he worked himself open.

        The button was bright pink. With a little power symbol dead center, glowing purple. There were a few options littered across the page, around that same button. Sliders to adjust speed, intensity, wiggle. A toggle for continuous stimulation at the bottom of the screen. I gulped again as my finger floated over the one in the middle. My eyes raised back to Cobalt’s and I found him staring at my phone intently. Waiting. Eager. Eyes glowing bright and unnatural in the dim scene of our bedroom.

        When I finally pressed down on my screen, Cobalt tensed.

        His shoulders locked tight. His jaw clenched and twitched under his skin. I watched his eyes blink and flutter before his head tipped back and they rolled as he groaned, baring his teeth towards the ceiling.

        “Fuuuuuck…”he whimpered, his chest heaving as I kept pressure on that button, my own eyes wide and dry as I watched him shudder. “Mmmmmm – fuck, baby, I…” Cobalt’s eyes fluttered again and he managed to point them back towards me. Lidded and hazy. “H-holy fuck – I f-fuckin’ forgot h-how… how…” he whimpered as his eyes screwed shut, his head falling forward to rest on my shoulder again.

        I lifted my thumb off the button and Cobalt gasped raggedly.

        “And you wanted to do this in public,” I mumbled.

        He whimpered again. “Yeah, I do… fuck, yes I do… b-but…” he chuckled, lifting his head up again so he could grin at me. “I-I’ll admit… you were r-right about… about doin’ it at home first…” Cobalt shook his head as he pushed himself up so he was standing straight. Still panting, still hard, his eyes closing as his head tilted back. “God… this thing is dangerous.”

        I pressed down on the button again, curious.

        Cobalt’s eyes flew open and he gasped again, alarmed and surprised, his knees buckling. Sending him to the floor. He landed on the rug, so I wasn’t too worried about him hurting his legs, and I watched – fascinated – as he gripped it tight, his teeth bared yet again, his cock twitching as he moaned out into the air.

        “R-Rosie-” he cried. “F-fuck – th-that wasn’t fair-”

        “Again… you wanted to do this in public,” I stated. Surprisingly calm. I could still feel the heat in my face, the burning in my cheeks, but the sudden control I had over him was intoxicating. I knew this had been a bad idea. I felt like a super villain. “You’ll have to get used to me not being fair if you wanna do that.”

        His head, which had fallen forward, his chin against his chest, raised and he pinned me with a pathetic, pleading look.

        I pulled my thumb away from the screen again and his arms shook as they held him up.

        “Okay,” he whispered. “O-okay, baby… yeah… I can do th-that…”

        “We’ll see,” I mused, looking down at the app. Wondering about the various controls and power I now had perched at my finger tips. “You should get dressed.”

        “Huh? ...oh… uh huh… yeah… okay…” It was like he was drunk.

        Slowly, he pushed himself onto his knees, his hands dangling at his sides. Then, after a few seconds of him just breathing, he stood. Shaky. I stood too, stepping up to set a hand on his chest, sliding it up towards his shoulder.

        “You sure you wanna keep it in…?”

        “Fuck yes I do, baby,” he muttered, leaning down to kiss me again. It was softer then before. Sweeter. “Like you said… gotta get used to it if we wanna take it further, right?”

        “Mhm.”

        His hands came up to cradle my face in his palms. Cobalt slow blinked at me, in that cat like way he did when he was tired or feeling sappy. “Then we’re gonna spend today like this… you keeping me on my toes… me tryin’ to get used to it…” His eyes slipped shut again as he sighed and set his forehead against mine. “Gonna be a long fuckin’ day, but… fuck, it’ll be worth it… for sure.”

        I slipped my arms around him, humming softly as I pushed forward, my body against his.

        “You want me to take care of you first?” I asked playfully as I felt the hard length of him press up against my stomach.

        “Mmmmm that would be really nice…,” he mused, his smile curling into a smirk. “Before you spend all day torturing me.”

        “This was your idea. Don’t forget that.”

        “I’m sure you won’t let me forget it, baby.”

        If I hadn’t left my phone on the bed I would have pressed that button again to prove him right.

--

        I decided, first off, to turn down the intensity right off the bat. Most of the sliders were set a little past the center line, so I pushed them down the length of the bar so I could do less to him for a longer period of time.

        He didn’t have to work today and I had nowhere to be either, so we just spent it inside. Hanging out in the living room, in our various offices, doing whatever it is we felt like doing.

        And every now and then I just… opened my phone and pressed that button. Sometimes for a few seconds. Other times for up to and over a minute, watching the clock as it ticked over. I played with the sliders, too. I kept at least two of them low at all times, but sometimes… I inched one of them up. Just to keep him on his toes. Like he said I should.

        Around 4 pm, I toggled on the switch that kept it powered and I tapped one of the sliders, slowly and steadily inching it up. Up. Up. Until it was at full power.

        Then I went to the next one and did the same thing.

        Something clattered somewhere else in the house and I stopped as I reached for the third, slightly worried I’d started my game at the wrong time. I stood up from my desk, slipping through the door and hunting for my fiance and the source of the sound. My phone still held at the ready. That last slider flickering at me from the screen.

        He was at his own desk. In his chair. Computer screen bright in front of him, his headphones across the room, on the floor – those were probably what the sound had been. Him throwing them off his head. Cobalt had his chin tipped back, one hand gripping the arm-rest so hard his knuckles where white, and the other wrapped tight around his dick. He’d pushed his sweat pants down towards his knees and his shirt up towards his chest. His eyes were screwed shut, his jaw slack, moans and whines and whimpers pouring out of him shamelessly.

        I watched, darkly amused and extremely aroused, and put my thumb on that final slider. Slowly notching it up further and further.

        Cobalt cried out, his back arching, cock twitching. “F-Fuck! Baby, p-please!”

        I’d never heard him beg before and it made me smile. The motion cold and cruel as I left him there. Full to the brim with every sensation his new toy could give him.

        His hips bucked, thrusting up into the air as his fist became a blur. “Fu-uck! Fuck! B-baby, baby, please please please please pleeaassee b-baby… m-mercy…ffffuck! Mercy!” He cried out again as he came, his voice hoarse and broken. The idea to keep the toy going was tempting. Very tempting, but I didn’t. I gave him the mercy he begged for and toggled it off as he fell back to earth, panting and heaving, cracked moans still escaping him as he sagged in his seat, utterly spent.

        When his eyes didn’t open, didn’t even flicker, I stepped up beside him, shoving my phone into my pocket and pushing my fingers into his hair.

        He whimpered as he leaned into my touch, lips parted and brow furrowed. His body sweaty and chest splattered with his cum.

        “Y-you… you were… w-watching?” he whispered, still struggling to breathe.

        “I heard your headphones and got worried I’d picked a bad time,” I muttered. “Wanted to make sure you were okay and… yeah… I watched.” He hummed, his eyes peeling open, hazy and glazed over as they searched through the fog of pleasure for my own.

        “You… you c-cant… do that when… when we’re out and… and about… m’kay?” I huffed and nodded as he fought his way through his words. “Th-that… it… hmmm…” His eyes closed again as he nuzzled into my palm, which I slid down towards his cheek.

        “I won’t, baby,” I promised. “We’ll give you a safe word when we are out and about, okay?” His eyes opened again, his brow pinching. “So if I do get a little too carried away you can tap out before anyone notices. That sound good?”

        “Mmmmhmm… yeah… sounds good…” Cobalt sighed softly. “’M tired now…”

        “Wanna be done for today?”

        He huffed. His lips twitched up at the corner of his mouth as he nodded sluggishly. “Probably should be… if you do that again I don’t think ‘m gonna make it…” I laughed silently as he sighed again. Cobalt’s eyes opened wider, blinking a few times to clear them up, and he winced when he glanced down over himself. “Damn it…”

        “Stay here,” I said, leaning down to kiss the crown of his head. “I’ll clean you up. Since this is all my fault anyway. Then we can go take a nap and figure out dinner afterwords. Sound good?”

        “Yeah,” he mumbled. He turned his gaze up towards me, his smile growing across his cheeks as he reached up to momentarily take my hand in his. “Thank you, Rosie. I love you.”

        “Love you too, blue. I’ll be right back.”

thank you for reading <3

love you lots~

[itwas50yearsagotoday]

7/31/23: It was 50 years ago this month, July 1973, Steely Dan would release their second album Countdown to Ecstasy. Wow... another landmark album that I didn't think I'd ever get to, but here we are. I've dug this record for at least 25 years going back to my college days. I think the first song I knew from it was 'My Old School' of which I must have seen concert footage on VH-1 (probably taken from The Midnight Special) at some point. So I begun collecting Dan CDs, and got this one specifically because it had 'My Old School' and the album opener 'Bodhisattva' (which my friend Jason turned me on to), and it became a staple in my player. Of the eight songs on this album, no less than six are excellent... even the other two songs are not throwaways by any means. 'Bodhisattva' starts off with a bangin' hard guitar riff, and turns into this slick jazz-rock number that dabbles a little in Fusion territory... look out! The next two songs I don't think are too well known but I love them both--'Razor Boy' has some biting lyrics about upper class wannabees, with this sort of bossa-nova style back-beat, and is super mellow; 'The Boston Rag' has some awesome guitar work... not sure if that's Skunk Baxter or Denny Dias but they make that guitar growl on that track. 'Show-Biz Kids' is controversial for the use of the word 'fuck' (oooooh!) but it, or perhaps 'Pearl of the Quarter', is probably the weakest track on the album-- I've heard that they were toying with releasing this as a single, but repeating the phrase 'Lost Wages' over and over again does not seem like Top 40 material. Interestingly, Rick Derringer, of all people, plays slide guitar on this track... personally, I think his talents are wasted here. Anyway, side two starts with another banger, somewhat similar to the murky (in a good way) sound of 'Do It Again' from the first record: 'Your Gold Teeth'. This track is nearly seven minutes long due to the extended keyboard and guitar solos and jamming... such a cool song, and great lyrics too. I already mentioned 'My Old School' whose lyrics remind me a bit of 'Reelin' In the Years' with the post-College blues as a theme... definitely a rocker, with great horns a-boppin' (I'm including the Special version as a YT clip at the end, which is a treat to watch), awesome guitar solos... love the 'WHOA NOOO's at the beginning of each chorus. Probably second weakest track is 'Pearl of the Quarter' which doesn't have much of a melody, and those 'vous-les-vous's at the end of every verse are so dorky. But the band (such that it is... as already Fagen and Becker were making changes, dumping vocalist Palmer after the first record... by the late-70s the Dan was just a duo with (highly talented) session musicians, essentially) redeems itself, and then some, with the whopper of an album closer 'King of the World'. One might confuse the keyboards in this song with a game show theme... no kidding, it reminds me of The Price is Right in some parts. But that is an integral part of the song, as it follows the same jazzy path as 'Your Gold Teeth' and 'Bodhisattva'... man it's a perfect album-ender. Since I won't get to them (or if I do, it won't likely be in this format), the next three following albums are all weak sisters to this record-- all good records, well-produced, but there's nothing really daring on 'dangerous' on those records. But 1977's Aja is so very different... literally sounds like a different band only four years later, but no less excellent. If I had to make the desert island choice between the two records I'd still go with Countdown, but might try to sneak Aja on board the sinking ship. Steely Dan's last album prior to the twenty-year absence, Gaucho, is no slouch either, as long as you approve of drum-machines (which fit with what they were doing in 1980). Back to Countdown, if you've not heard this, and you're reading this blog, stop what you are doing and go listen to it now. A moral imperative. A+

[someheroescarryfloss]

TSCS Episode 5

Here thar be spoilers!  No tinfoil hat theories this time around, just a few thoughts about what I liked (and didn’t like).

So...First and foremost, Bernard is here!!!  And yes, they did address why he looks older.  The reason for that...well, let me backtrack a bit and say that it was great to see the character again, and David Krumholtz hasn’t lost his touch!  The sass is there, and something I never thought would happen, we actually got to hear him use a minor swear word.  That’s right, folks...they let Bernard say ‘Damn it’!  Which, to be honest, is in no way out of character, they just never let him do it before. XD

Elves having their own version of Rumspringa was a cool idea (the name Kribble-Krabble being somewhat less cool IMO), but...You know, I kind of wish they had said that Bernard chose to live in the human world and left it at that.  I would have liked it if things were left a bit more open-ended there.  And I’m sorry, but it just came off as weird to me that they would pair him up with Vanessa Redgrave as sort of a throw-away not-a-joke-but-a something.  But I choose to view the series as a separate entity from the movies, so I’ll take it as it is and leave it at that.  It was just great to see Bernard again, and now on to the Yule-Verse!

Now, this part I really liked!  I prefer the idea we fanfic writers had going (and can you blame us for jumping to that conclusion?) that all the Santas were human, and they all ended up with the job in different ways.  For Scott to be the first human Santa, and for Carol to be the first Mrs. Claus EVER because the other Santas wanted them to have kids that would inherit the North Pole was...well, it’s fine in theory.  But since Elves are apparently now ethereal beings whose very existence is tied to Christmas spirit (as if Elf myths hadn’t existed in some form or another for literally thousands of years), those kids would have to leave the North Pole to find spouses of their own in the future to keep it going.  And there doesn’t seem to be a plan in place for that.  These guys are just making it up as they go along!  Isn’t that dangerous to do when your very existence hangs in the balance? XD

So, apparently Elves just came into existence as they are.  No ageing unless they chose to leave, no childhoods, no parents...apparently they can get married (Noel and Betty)...but for Elves it’s just kids playing house and calling each other by pet names.  I mean, it’s cute, but at the same time, if they’re eternal and frozen as they are, why include it at all?  Yeah...I didn’t care for that one and I’ll be disregarding it in my own stories, lol.

Krampus was cool!  I didn’t expect him to just be that time period’s version of Santa, and I definitely didn’t expect him to be a pretty okay dude!  Not evil in any way, just kinda scary-looking.  Taking toys instead of giving them, maybe as a reflection of the times?  Eh...well, I mean, having every Santa reflect the time period he’s in sort of makes sense.  It’s a more kid-friendly idea than the actual myth of him being a Christmas demon that kidnaps naughty children!

Cal...buddy...that girl will never speak to you again.  I mean, she will because storyline, but IRL that would have been it.  Sorry, kiddo, but your crush thinks you’re nutso. :(  But I really want to see them resolve that happily!  

Having Cal and Sandra inherit magical powers from having been born and raised at the North Pole?  LOVED IT!  I love the idea that high concentrations of magic would have an influence on humans if they’re around it long enough!  I thought getting Butter the horse to fly simply by believing in himself fit in with the whole concept of ‘believing is seeing’ and it’s important to believe and so on...but I also hope that the parents out there will have a conversation with their kids!  

No, little Timmy, you can’t fly just because you believe you can.  Stay off the roof, don’t jump from the top of staircases, your superhero cape is cool but it’s also the blanket Mom and Dad brought you home from the hospital in, and if you jump, it’s back to the hospital you go!

And NOOO, Betty!  It’s both heartbreaking and a mercy that Noel just missed her!  If he was that much of a wreck when Santa merely wished to retire, imagine if he had walked in on that!  I’m really counting on things being set right in the next episode, and the ‘disappeared’ Elves popping back into existence when Christmas spirit is restored (OMG!  You disappeared Crouton!  You bundtcakes!).

Welp, I’m off to grab a supersized coffee and get ready for work, but I want to end this by saying that Gary is starting to grow on me with his gruff old man attitude and his Hershey’s Kiss tinfoil hat! XD

[sz-amare]

10. Creating Realistic Characters with Depth

For many people, characters are one of the most influential aspects of an anime. The same goes for me. There are many types of characters: the protagonist, the main cast, side characters, antagonists, villains, etc. Each contributes to the story in their own way. Making flat, bland, or boring characters can make them forgettable, and therefore, can cheapen the quality of the anime. It can also make it painfully difficult to continue watching the series. Here I will give several pointers on what I believe makes an excellent character and give examples from the One Piece-verse.

1.     Flaws

When it comes to creating characters, I have noticed a general rule to make them great and likable. The audience needs to relate to them. The way you do that is by giving your character flaws. When I say flaws, I don’t mean random negatives about their characters, like when a shōnen protagonist can’t solve a simple math problem to save their lives. I mean flaws that can make them feel weak, directly or indirectly.

When I look at Luffy, many flaws end up making him a better character. The most fascinating one to me is Luffy’s childish nature. He is an extremely idealistic kid who dreams more than anyone. He, at first, doesn’t care nor understand the consequences of his actions. Luffy is also kind-hearted and always pushes his principles before his dream. He tends to scream a lot and wears all of his emotions on his face. Luffy is also a terrible liar. If I described this type of personality to anyone, they would undoubtedly think of a child.

This childish behavior is one of Luffy’s characteristics that make him flawed. There are also several times when acting like a child, particularly not thinking of the consequences of his actions, cost him severely. We have the time Luffy almost attacked the Drum Island civilians after they shot Vivi in the arm, meaning Nami wouldn’t get a doctor for her illness. The time Luffy punched the Celestial Dragon, resulting in him almost losing all of his crewmates (although in this case, I think most people would have punched Charlos. He deserved it).

And the most recent one where he attacked Kaido after “killing” his crewmates, which he ended up losing the fight with a single blow and ended up in prison. Luffy makes dumb mistakes. It plays perfectly with his character, but he is ultimately flawed.

Now I personally don’t relate to Luffy in the way that he is childish (I am the maturest), but seeing Luffy suffer from the consequences of his flaws and understanding that Luffy isn’t perfect is enough to understand that he is a human with struggles, similar to myself.

 2.     Personality, Psychology, and Philosophy

I think personality, psychology, and philosophy (PPP) are some of the most significant ways of distinguishing characters and are the source of a particular character’s general fascination. Every person in the real world has their own unique PPP. When you are in the world of anime, not only is everything overly exaggerated, but it is also unrealistic in all sorts of ways. With these two weapons, you can explore all types of themes, topics, and ideas. So when creating characters in an anime, understand that there are no limits to unique characters. Two characters can be very similar, but there should always be something to contrast.

Not only is PPP used to contrast characters, but it can make them feel more realistic if you can manage to connect all three along with their overall character. Let us look back at Luffy. First, we have Luffy’s personality. Luffy constantly yells, loves to mess around and laughs, loves food, is very dumb, is a terrible liar, always shouts out his dreams, loves to imitate his friends, and is a kind-hearted person.

Closely related to his personality, his psychology is that of a child’s perspective. Finally, we have his philosophies. Luffy believes that everyone should chase their own dreams and freedom, no matter how difficult it is to get there. He also believes that dreams should be achieved with the help of close friends. Luffy also believes that everyone is equal, seeing no one below or above anyone else. Once again, these views and ideals are somewhat childish.

Now that we have all the three major pieces of Luffy, we can fully understand his character’s greatness. All three of his PPP are connected with his childish nature. This makes his character seem cohesive, consistent, and more realistic. All of Luffy’s traits align with his character. Everything about Luffy is connected in a way that would make sense, like a real human being.

 3.     Contrasting, Paralleling, and Mirroring

This is one of my favorite techniques in creating characters. You can contrast, parallel, and mirror (CPM) many things in the series: themes, the plot itself, certain philosophies/ideals, characters, the list goes on. This one applies more to side characters, antagonists, and villains than the protagonist, but it can happen.

Now let us think of the antagonists and villains in One Piece that relate to Luffy and his beliefs and somehow align with one of the rules of CPM. Let’s start with my favorite, Charlotte Katakuri. Katakuri is similar to Luffy in terms of his devil fruit. But Katakuri is far superior in every way: his devil fruit is better and awakened, his haki is better, and he has more experience. Here we can see that Katakuri parallels Luffy a bit, but he completely contrasts in his ideologies and motivation.

Next we have Donquixote Doflamingo. Doflamingo believes that he is the ultimate king. He truly believes he is better than everyone, classifying everyone into three basic categories: kings, humans, and lesser beings. But even in this classification, Doflamingo believes he is on top of the kings as well: he thinks he’s a god. Therefore he believes he has the right to toy with the world, as symbolized by him making puppet gestures and physically controlling people, especially because he was mistreated after Doflamingo and his family left Mariejois. Doflamingo’s beliefs all contradict Luffy’s. First off, Luffy believes everyone is equal, no one above and no one below. This contradicts Doflamingo’s god complex. Luffy also believes that everyone should chase their own freedom, which Doflamingo believes he has the right to take away.

We also have Black Beard or Marshal D. Teach. Black Beard mirrors Luffy in a lot of ways when considering their ideologies. Black Beard, like Luffy, believes in the power of dreams and ideals. When we first see Teach, we see him acting like a child, arguing with Luffy about the food and drinks, and Luffy does the same. I think this is Oda showing us that Black Beard is practically and precisely like Luffy. Both of their dreams are to become the Pirate King. The only difference is their approach. As I mentioned earlier, Luffy wants to achieve his dream with the bonds he made with his friends. He doesn’t care if his crewmates are useless or not; a friend is a friend in Luffy’s eyes. On the other hand, Black Beard wouldn’t mind using money to hire strong “allies.” He even hires some of the most dangerous prison inmates. Black Beard is also crueler and is willing to do whatever it takes to reach his goal. If you pay attention, you might notice that Black Beard became a Yonko in a flash, simply because he obtained one of the most powerful devil fruits out there. However, we always hear Luffy saying that there are no shortcuts to become the Pirate King. In one perspective, they look almost identical. When you shift that view, you realize how much they contrast from each other.

Finally, we have Akainu. Akainu is the exact opposite of Luffy. Luffy believes in absolute freedom, while Akainu believes in absolute justice and control. Akainu would kill his own when they showed fear or opposed what Akainu believed was “right.” There isn’t much to talk about Akainu, mainly because we haven’t seen much of him. But from what we have seen so far, it is clear that Akainu and Luffy are complete opposites.

All these different villains are excellent and make clear antagonistic forces against the protagonist simply by contrasting some of Luffy’s ideals. But remember, you can also use CPM with themes on other types of characters. Take one of the reoccurring or significant themes in your story and create a character that uses CPM on that theme.

 4.     Connecting Character Ideas to the Story

This is something I love to do when creating my characters. Basically, I grab an interesting theme or an aspect in a character I want to explore and find a way to connect it to my story. There are many cases when I think of a fascinating character, but it wouldn’t make sense if I randomly added them to my story. So I just connect an event that could likely happen in my story to the reason why my character is the way she is.

One time, I was listening to a song, and the interpretation I got out of it was fascinating to me. It had something to do with abuse, insanity, and OCD. I really wanted to add a character that explored the ideas of abuse, insanity, and OCD to my story, and luckily for me, it was pretty easy to add it into my story.

Now my character (let’s call her Miku for now) doesn’t seem out of place because I connected her character into the story by creating a backstory that was plausible in the world I had created. She suddenly became one of my favorite characters I had created.

5.     Consistency

I think one of the most essential things in a lot of characters is that they remain consistent. Of course, you can pull a 180 and make an Eren Yeager, but if you don’t want to change your character that drastically, make sure they are consistent.

 Once you have created your character, make sure you fully understand their flaws and PPP and make sure whatever type of significant actions they take, it perfectly fits their character.

There were many times in the past when I was able to accurately predict Luffy’s actions and words. I thought I was some sort of genius at first, but I realized soon after that many others could do the same. It was when Luffy rejected his grand fleet where Luffy’s consistency became clear. After fully understanding that Luffy wants to become the Pirate King, simply because he wants to chase the ultimate freedom, why would he accept the grand fleet?

He doesn’t want to become anyone important, and he wants everyone there to chase their own freedom. This is consistent with Luffy’s philosophy of freedom and his childish psychology.

In conclusion

Following any of these principles can help to add intrigue and quality to your character. A regular human is complex and deep, no matter who they are. By following these suggestions, you can create characters with the complexity and depth of real human beings. Make your characters like Pinocchio. Make them strive to be a real boy or girl.

[guiltysecretpasttime]

Adversity - 13-B

Labelling this as ‘chapter 13-B’ in tumblr .

Edit: Ended up as part of chapter 13 in A03.

---

Adversity details

Multi-chapter, work in progress, AU, pre-LoK,

Latest status: up to Chapter 12 uploaded in A03

Blurb: Lin and Tenzin are both at the height of their respective     careers – she with the Metalbending Police and he with the Air Nation.     Questions about their future begin to arise and things come to a head when     Lin responded to an emergency call. Would her job take them from each     other forever? Eventual happy ending. Alternatively: The one where Lin and     Tenzin had to go through adversity like Lin’s dangerous job, a near-death     experience, temporary separation and memory loss, unplanned pregnancy and     Tenzin’s responsibilities before they end up with a family.

Tumblr chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | go to AO3 for chapters in between | 13

Ao3 link |   Ff.net link

---

Adversity – 13-B

There were muffled voices outside of the room and before they could even react, the door was shoved open.

"Chief!"

"Aunt!"

Tenzin usually felt that Toph Beifong was larger than life; never mind her blindness or stature. Today was no exception.

“I received this note at the Jasmine Dragon and I thought - this I have to ‘see’ for myself.”  The earthbender entered the room unceremoniously, fingers forming air-quotations to explain her presence. "And lo and behold, you're in bed with Airhead Junior already, so I guess you're doing just fine."

“I’m not in bed – she’s – we’re not -!” Tenzin sputtered, leaning back hurriedly to disguise the fact that half of his body was actually on the bed.

Lin rolled her eyes. “I don’t care that you’re the chief but don’t you ever knock?”

“Were the chief. That’s the past.” Toph perched herself at the end of Lin’s bed. “I’m here as your mother.” She tilted her head. “Surely that’s gotta hold some weight to you?”

“Not a lot, but sure.” Lin tossed, unaffected.

Well-versed in how Beifongs conduct themselves, the airbender knew that both were affected by this meeting under the veneer of snark and nonchalance.

Tenzin sought to make himself scarce. “I -uh – I can leave the two of you alone for now. I think I’ll check if the others have returned from their tour.” He gently extricated his hand from Lin’s grip, squeezing it once and receiving a squeeze back.

He pretended not to see the tears fall from their eyes as the two Beifong women hugged each other when he closed the door behind him.

“Hey Badge.”

“Mom.”

This was private for them.

He breathed.

She’ll be okay.

 ---

It was a trigger, they confirmed.

Katara explained from Lin’s medical files that Lin was likely submerged in water for quite some time before she was rescued. The sudden sea spray and saltwater must have triggered the memory.

While Lin’s blood pressure was recommended to be monitored closely, the vitals of both mother and child are strong, to everyone’s relief (especially Tenzin’s).

Upon arriving from their tour, Katara immediately went straight to Lin’s room upon hearing of the panic attack. After the routine check-up, the waterbender left the Beifongs alone. There remained to be a strain between Toph and the rest. The last time they had all been together was during Lin’s memorial months back – after she had accused everyone of not trying their best in locating Lin.

***

Toph has been with her daughter for hours now. Su had joined them at some point as well (even if it was with a lot of hesitation).

Everyone was pleased with this development. It was evident in the lightness that was not there before; a lightness that will be there at least until the three Beifongs would rejoin them.

Lin, Su and Toph talking for hours hints of a reconciliation among them. Su had confided in Kya a few nights ago that she had been worrying about her tentative reconnection with her sister. It may seem well and good now but what if Lin regains her memories and decides to retain to original stance regarding Su?

If Tenzin were to be honest with himself, he had been toying with the same fear as well. The spirits know that they definitely had not parted well before The Accident. He had been about to try to salvage their relationship but as far as Lin knew, he was a selfish jerk who was about to discard her for an air acolyte.

“You besotted sap, what are you frowning about now?”

Tenzin turned to his side, where Bumi seated himself on the steps, a teasing smile on his face. He had been absent-mindedly playing with Junior and Huan as they build things in the sand. He was instructed by the boys to throw around the occasional airball to test the strength of their structures or to flatten the sand so they can play more.

At the moment, the boys were attempting to replicate what Zaofu looked like on the sand and so were ignoring him until he needed to do some clean up.

Tenzin’s own brother then nudged his shoulder. “Anything I can do for ya?”

He shook his head no, still lost in thought.

The airbender is happy for Lin, truly. He could not imagine how she might have been feeling the past months – alone, injured, pregnant and with lost memories to boot. He should not and cannot even find it in himself to even be remotely selfish.

And yet…

He wanted Lin.

The laughter of the two Beifong boys drew his attention.

Rather, a family with Lin, he amended to himself. Tenzin sighed.

---

“That was one deep breath.” Bumi continued to observe, patient and knowing his brother well enough that he will speak when ready.

After a few more minutes, Huan managed to use earthbending to create a crevice in the middle of sand Zaofu. Both of them cheered the kids on.

“Uncle, where is Mommy?” Junior spoke up, green eyes darting around. “Can you call her? I think she would like to see what Huan was able to do.” The boy was proud of his brother despite not being able to bend himself.

Bumi grinned, the kid kind of reminded himself of well…himself. Back when Tenzin managed to make his first air wheel.

“Well, kid, I’m sure your mommy would be proud of both of you.” He pointed to the fairly complicated and detailed sand city on the ground. “But I think Su is busy right now.”

“She’s with your Aunt Lin and Grandma.” Tenzin added.

“Grandma’s here?!”

Both kids quickly rushed towards Tenzin and Bumi, grasping Tenzin’s robes in their hands, asking to be led inside to greet their grandmother.

“Is this a good idea?” Bumi whispered to Tenzin, leaning to his side so as to not to be overheard by the excited children, who were running ahead to the rest house.

The airbender simply shrugged. There was obviously something bothering him.

“They’ve been in the room for how long now?” Bumi tried to make light of the situation. “Are you sure they aren’t throwing hands or something?”

“We’ll probably feel the earth rumble if that were the case.”

That was true. Their childhood has been literally punctuated by mini earthquakes whenever the Beifong sisters squabbled.

Bumi played with his beard. “What if the new baby Beifong turns out to be another earthbender? Imagine the chaos.”

Huan and Baatar Junior were shifting their weight from one leg to the other, practically bouncing with excitement as they arrived at Lin’s door ahead of the adults.

Bumi snorted. Figures that Suyin’s spawn were behaved enough to not burst into rooms but could be quite tactless with their words.

Tenzin stiffened as they reach the door to Lin’s room.

Bumi nodded. “Arn’t you going to go in?” At the airbender’s head shake, he took the initiative to open the door. “Knock-knock! Good afternoon, Beifongs!” He was surprised to see Su and Toph flanking Lin from both sides of the bed.

Before he could even remark or tease Lin about it, twin squeals shattered his eardrums and in went Junior and Huan.

“Boys! Don’t jump on your aunt!”

Cute. With the surfeit of Beifongs in the room, Bumi waved at them and exited quietly. He will catch up with Toph later instead.

Still grinning, Bumi turned to Tenzin and noticed he was still awkwardly standing at the corridor. His smile softened, placing an arm around Tenzin’s shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it now?”

---

Before long Tenzin’s worries, fears, and insecurities tumbled out and into his older brother’s ear.

It was quite cathartic, to be truthful.

It was different opening up to his father (the Avatar) or even his mother (who was bound to be as protective as she was judgmental – less so compared to her younger years but still).

Bumi heard him and was not bound to judge him.

Neither did he invalidate his feelings nor did he downplay the airbender’s perceived consequences of the situation.

It certainly also helped that Bumi had been away from Republic City and was able to listen with fresh perspective.

---

“Don’t cancel your dinner. You’ve prepared a lot for it.”

“No…” His voice trailed off. “I’d rather not intrude in their family time.”

“Aren’t you her family, Ten?”

---

“Ah there you are Junior!”

…

“What on earth are you doing in the kitchen? Last I heard this was Lin’s domain.”

“Uh – tonight’s dinner for Lin – I  was -.”

“Don’t you dare say you’re postponing it?” It really was discomfiting when Toph Beifong is able to stare at you in the eye. “She had been talking about it, and was particularly excited too.”

“Oh.”

“Oh – indeed.” A beat. “Don’t disappoint her, Junior.” She passed by him to exit the room. And in a lowered voice muttered. “I’m still rooting for you, despite everything.”

----

---

Note: We are getting there~ thanks for the patience and for still reading this. 

Been through some tough times the past few days (ironically, after I had thought I could probably write a little bit more). Not quite good yet but better than the past days. Hopefully. Anyhow - let me know what you think :)

[lu-undy]

Un-alone, Chapter 5

Here it is!

A few weeks had passed since that last chat with Fred, in the café. 

Lucien had spent those few weeks locked up in his suite most of the time. He would only exit it to fetch some food to go with his alcohol. He couldn't even drink just wine. Wine didn't deserve to be gulped down unappreciated, non. So Lucien had changed his diet for whiskey or vodka, flavoured with whatever he hunted outside. 

On top of being circled with black, his eyes started to show the start of his dangerous relationship with the bottle. The white of his eyes turned glassy at times and on the nights where the guilt and the hate for himself were the worst, he would drink only to wake up still holding the bottle in his hand, passed out on the carpeted floor.

Lucien was now in his hotel room, walking back and forth, talking to himself. Why? Because he had no one else to talk to. 

He went to get his cigarette case and opened it. He pushed the cigarettes left and right and retrieved the letter concealed behind them, to read it again. 

“Marie… Qu’est-ce que je suis censé faire?”

[What am I supposed to do?]

He read the letter again and his eyes went to a part that he had neglected yet.

“Please, never stop singing. Promise me to sing more, I want to hear you now, more than ever.”

He winced and turned on his heels to walk back and forth again. 

So then what? Should he drop everything, send his letter of resignation and find any odd restaurant to sing in? Finish his days as it started, just… singing?

But Marie’s first request was to find Jérémy a job. What was he good at? Baseball, according to Fred. Well, baseball never got anyone a safe job and career, no prospect for the future. Because then what? Assuming the boy was good enough to turn professional, a baseball career doesn’t last for a working life! Surely, he had to rely on something else after that…

Lucien sighed and grumbled. 

Gosh…

Well, maybe the singing could be sorted out first? Alright, let’s focus on that. It was undoubtedly an easier issue to tackle. 

Bien.

First, he needed a piano, a keyboard, something to make the music he needed to accompany him. Maybe the hotel could provide him with one. Lucien took the phone in his hand and called reception. 

“I would require a piano in that room. Are there any other guests on his floor?"

"Uhm, no Sir, your suite occupies the entire floor." 

"Ah, parfait."

And as simple as that, a few hours later, a piano had appeared in his suite. It was black, varnished and the full-blown grand piano thing. Lucien’s suite was big enough for it not to seem like it was eating as much space as it did.

He sat in front of it and opened it to reveal the black and white keys. 

"Hm." 

What should he play? Where should he start? 

Ah, oui, he knew. 

He opened Marie's letter and laid it where he would a score. His eyes glided on the paper and gently, he started. 

It was an odd feeling. The keys were cold under his fingers, emotionless. He needed to tame them and make them his. This piano and this habit of playing it he shall now keep until his own flame is put out. So the keys and him had better get to know each other quickly. 

He pushed his fingers to sink in the keys, on the white, between the black keys and it reminded him of how he used to slide his fingers on Marie's skin, through her black locks of hair…

Lucien took a deep breath and after letting his fingers find the first chords, he started singing.

{To the reader: the song is "Je suis malade" by Serge Lama (or Lara Fabian), I tweaked the lyrics!}

"Je ne fume plus

[I don't smoke anymore]

Je ne rêve plus

[I don't dream anymore]

Je n'ai même plus d'histoire

[I don't have any stories anymore]

Je suis sale sans toi

[I am dirty without you]

Je suis laid sans toi

[I am ugly without you]

Comme un orphelin dans un dortoir

[Like an orphan in a dormitory]

Je n'ai plus envie

[I don't want]

De vivre ma vie

[To live my life anymore]

Ma vie cessa quand tu partis

[My life stopped when you left]

Je n'ai plus de vie

[I don't have a life anymore]

Et même mon lit

[And even my bed]

Se transforme en quai de gare

[Transformed into a train station quay]

Quand tu t'en allas"

[When you left]

Lucien skipped the chorus, he didn't feel like it, non. It was too soon. He needed to breathe and gather himself. He played the notes, the chords and the arpeggios, but remained mute. He only started singing again after the chorus. 

"Comme à un rocher

[As I would to a rock]

Comme à un péché

[As I would to a sin]

Je suis accroché à toi

[I am clinging to you]

Je suis fatigué, je suis épuisé

[I am tired, I am exhausted]

De faire semblant d'être heureux

[Of pretending to be happy]

Quand ils sont là

[When they are around]

Je bois toutes les nuits

[I drink every night]

Et tous les whiskys

[And all the whiskeys]

Pour moi ont le même goût

[Taste the same to me]

Et tous les bateaux

[And all the boats]

Portent ton drapeau

[Carry your flag]

Je ne sais plus où aller tu es partout!"

[I don't know where to go, you are everywhere!]

His voice had been soft, whispering to himself more than actually singing. But on that last sentence that's when he broke it, he broke the silence and burst his bubble of comfortable shyness. To hell with it all! He had wanted to shout and shred everything around him ever since he had set foot in America! This was his chance to let it all out and by God he would!

"Je suis malade!

[I am sick]

Complètement malade!

[Completely sick!]

Je verse mon sang dans ton corps!

[I pour my blood in your body!]

Et je suis comme un oiseau mort!

[And I am like a dead bird!] 

Quand toi tu meurs!"

[When you are dead!]

The tears were back. Lucien had said the words, in his mother tongue at that. It hurt in English, but in French it had bled him dry to say it out loud.

"Je suis malade!

[I am sick!]

Parfaitement malade!

[Perfectly sick!]

Je suis privé de tous mes chants!

[I am deprived of all my songs]

Je suis vidé de tous mes mots"

[I am emptied of all my words.]

Lucien sniffled. He wiped his messy face with his sleeve quickly before his hand returned to the keyboard. He now played pianissimo and his voice thinned to a whisper. 

"Cet amour me tue.

[This love is killing me.]

Si ça continue

[If it goes on]

Je crèverai seul avec moi

[I'll die alone with myself]

Près de mon piano

[Close to my piano]

Comme un gosse idiot

[Like an idiotic kid]

Écoutant ma propre voix qui chantera..."

[Listening to my own voice singing…]

Lucien removed his hands from the piano and closed his eyes before he sang without restraint, his head raised to a God that had toyed with him. 

"Je suis malade!

[I am sick!]

Complètement malade!

[Completely sick!]

Je suis privé de tous mes chants

[I am deprived of all my songs]

Tu m'as vidée de tous mes mots

[I am emptied of all my words]

Et j'ai le cœur complètement malade

[And my heart is completely sick]

Cerné de barricades

[Surrounded in barricades]

T'entends?

[Do you hear me?]

Je suis malade!"

[I am sick!]

That last line, he had shouted it and maintained it so long that he turned red in the face from the lack of air. 

His shoulders sank and he almost collapsed on the keys to catch his breath after it. Mon Dieu, the last time he had sung was ages ago, and it had never been that cathartic in his life yet. 

He went to grab his bottle of whiskey and resumed his seat. 

“Je suis malade.”

[I am sick.]

He said to himself.

“Je suis malade, malade, malade.”

[I am sick, sick, sick, sick.]

He wasn’t singing it, only chanting it, repeating it over and over again. He had diagnosed himself oui, but what was that illness that made him eat alcohol based meals and prevented him from sleeping? God knew what it was called. 

Some call it grieving, and it takes time to pass, and no aspirin in the world could fix it. No doctors could help either, non. What would scientists in white lab coats understand in Lucien’s pain? Pff, nothing, absolutely nothing. 

Non, the Frenchman was condemned. Not much he could do about himself. 

So he took a gulp of whiskey and rubbed his eyes with one hand before sighing. He then looked back at the letter in front of him. 

Jérémy. The job. Marie. 

Surely Marie would hate him for allowing Jérémy to follow his footsteps, non? But then, what about her saying that the boy was gifted? She couldn’t have meant that he was gifted to become a spy? How could she know what made a good spy? Did she know what made a good spy? Did she - mh....

Lucien frowned and thought harder. 

In any case, what should he do now with his life? 

He could still quit. He could call up the Ministry, jump on a plane and go back to France to hand in his resignation letter in person. He could then hole himself up in his flat, get a keyboard and play until God steals the air from him.

But then, he would ignore Marie’s request for Jérémy. He needed to find him a job. 

“Bien.”

[Right.]

To know if Jérémy could do this, he needed to observe him, get to know him, his habits, his character. Lucien snatched his jacket off of the coat hanger and headed to headquarters. 

When he arrived, he stopped by reception. 

"Agent L, French DGSE." He introduced himself and showed his credentials, given that he did not recognise the person in front of him.

"I know who you are." The receptionist answered with a chuckle and a smile.

"Is the Old Tom still down in the archives?" He asked. 

The receptionist raised her eyes to him and nodded with a smile. Her lipstick was a shade of red too bright for Lucien's eyes. 

"Yeah, you'll find him downstairs." 

"Merci." 

[Thank you.]

The Frenchman took the stairs and went down, the sound of his impeccable black varnished shoes almost completely deafened at each step. Force of habit. He had learnt to walk silently when he was half a man. Now he could barely let his presence anywhere be known. There was something in hearing his own footsteps that he did not like, never did. 

When he reached the right underground level, he pushed a metal door and entered a series of corridors. Lucien soon faced a booth whose walls were in fact bars. There was an opening at the front, a square up to his shoulders, on a counter. 

"Agent L, French DGSE." Again, Lucien did not recognise the employee, but they raised big, round eyes to him. 

"Y-yeah, I know who you are… Uhm… Need anythin'?" 

"Old Tom." 

"Ah, yeah, right…" The young man at the desk behind the bars picked up a telephone. Lucien's trained eyes saw the rows and columns of files and cardboard boxes of evidence and reports behind the young man. "Tom? Yeah, there's a man here for you…? Uh, yeah, he's a…" He looked up at Lucien. "He's agent L, from the French DGSE. Oh?" 

The young man put the phone back down and frowned. 

"Is something the matter?" Lucien asked. 

"He hung up on me-"

"L?!" The door behind the young man barged open and an old man stormed in. "Haha! It's you, son?!" 

Lucien smirked. 

"I am too old to be called 'son' now. But oui, it is me." 

"Goddamn it!" The old man burst into joy and his raspy laughter before coughing to catch his breath. "C'mere, come on, don't stay at the door!" 

Tom opened the side door and Lucien entered. He was welcomed with a hand that he shook only to be pulled in a friendly embrace.

"Goddamn it, Lucio, how long has it been?" 

"Way too long." Lucien smiled at the nickname. Tom was one of those who had fled Italy and Mussolini only to fight his hardest to push him out of there. He was already a young adult back then and he soon found a woman to be his wife and got a few lovely children. His Italian roots never left him and when he had learnt that Lucien was French, he considered him Italian…! 

Tom's accent had tempered over the years but some words still clung in their Italian twists. He was a round, plump man with a white moustache and equally white hair. He wasn't as tall as Lucien, only reaching his shoulder. He also had a distinct gait, the gait of the man whose wife's cooking would prove to be his downfall.

"So how has it been in all these years? Oh, hold on, don't say anythin', come wit' me." 

Lucien followed Tom through the corridors and through more and more code-locked doors. It was impressive to him. Each code was different and changed frequently, yet Tom remembered them all, always. 

"Alright, follow me behind this… There, no cameras can look here. Take a seat." 

There was a desk and a couple of chairs between two large aisles of files. 

"Still like a good old vino?" 

"Is there any chance your fake aisle has something stronger? By the way, is it possible to smoke?" 

"I have a whiskey if you'd like but you can't smoke here, son. The fire alarm'd go off, argh…" The old, plump man bent down to open the fake file aisle. He retrieved a bottle and two glasses before sitting down opposite Lucien and offering him a drink. "In all these years, I didn't know you liked that stuff. I keep it for the 'Ricans. Only people like you and me, Europeans, like wine. They don't get wine here, argh…" 

Lucien nodded. They raised their glasses, cheered and took a sip. 

"Argh, this is a strong one, eh?" 

"Oui, indeed, strong and much needed." 

"Why did you come to see Papa Tom, eh?"

Lucien took a deep breath. 

"I am sick." 

"Oh, is it serious? I was thinkin' that you looked a bit slim but eh, you were never very big."

"I lost my wife." Lucien added and Tom's jaw dropped.

"Maria? Oh…" Tom shook his head, raised it and prayed, his hand going North, South, East and West on his chest. "I am sorry, Lucio… How long ago was it?"

"A few weeks." 

"What happened?" 

Lucien put the glass between his thighs and his back naturally hunched. He stared at the brown liquid and how the light of the neon above him was reflected at the surface of it. 

"Her lungs. They were always weak. Pneumonia killed her." 

Tom saw Lucien's hands shaking and he saw him take a swig of his beverage again. 

"I'm sorry, son, I really am." 

Lucien nodded and drank more. Tom had a second of hesitation, wondering how on Earth Lucien could gulp down the liquid that fast without his eyelids even flinching. But asking the question was answering it and Tom understood that Lucien fell in love with the bottle. 

"Is there anythin' I could do?" 

The Frenchman slowly nodded. 

"There is a young man. I need to know everything about him." 

"He has anythin' to do with this?" Tom asked. 

"Non, not really." 

"Lucio, come on, tell me! Look at me, it's Tommaso! Your Old Tom!"

Lucien sighed again. 

"I wasn't there for her in the end. I barely was there for the funeral…"

"Nothing you could do about any of this, Lucio." Tom stood up and put his still full glass on the desk. Never had he seen Lucien so distraught. He couldn't raise his eyes to the Italian. 

"She was important and I had left her for… this." Lucien raised his hands around to the files, fake and real, surrounding them.

Tom sighed. 

"Eh, now, you loved her and she knew it was for the best of you two.”

“And yet I lost her anyway and I lost her far from me. She was alone in the end, Tom.”

“The way that I see it, you both made a great sacrifice. But she didn’t pass cause you wanted to run away. Nah, you loved her all along. And in the end, God called her back not because of a mistake you made or anythin’ like that.”

Lucien sighed.

“Lucio, look, you did the best thing for her and uh… Now, if I’m bein’ honest and all… I really think you gettin’ away from her was the best thing you could do.”

Lucien’s eyebrow twitched.

“What do you mean?”

“Fred and I have been keepin’ an eye on her for years while you were away. Even made a file for her, just so that if you visited and uh… If you uh… I mean, just in case…” The old man wiped his brow nervously.

“Tom, please.”

Tommaso raised his eyes to Lucien and sighed.

“It’s not pretty and I know it’s not good to sally the dead…”

“What do you mean, Tom? Just out with it!” Lucien lost patience. The lack of sleep and alcohol-free food had made him easily irritable.

“Wanna have a look at the file?” Tom asked.

“Just tell me! What is so odd that you behave this way with me?” Lucien was at a loss as to what to think or expect anymore and he hated it.

“Alright…” Tom stood up and disappeared in the aisles of files. Lucien could hear his heavy gait from his chair. He waited with his fingers grasping the glass of whiskey hard.

When Tom emerged again, he was holding a brown file. He put it on the desk and pushed it towards Lucien.

“Here. Mary Trevor.”

“You have the wrong file. That was not her name.” Lucien answered. “Even before we got married, her name was Mary-”

“Just…” Tom raised a hand to stop Lucien. “Just take this back home and read it.”

“Tom.”

Their eyes eventually met in the underground archive that were dimly lit.

“Why keep a file on her? What will I find in this?” Lucien asked coldly but that only confirmed Tom’s suspicions. Lucien would not like what he would read at all.

[pokemon-legends-and-legacies]

PostwickShipping and/or SoulSilverShipping for the ask meme pls

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

PostwickShipping (will just note here that in this verse, Victor becomes the Champion while Gloria becomes a researcher under Sonia alongside Hop)

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Endgame

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Once they both started working for Sonia after the events of the SwSh plot, they began developing feelings (though there might have been some even beforehand). They start dating about a year and a half later, both in their mid-teens.

How was their first kiss? - A bit awkward, but very sweet and earnest.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Hop

Who are {Hop's} groom's party? - Leon, Sonia & Bede (who claims he only did this because Victor asked him but really he and Hop have become friends by the wedding even if neither will admit it)

Who are {Gloria's} bride's party? - Victor, Marnie & Bianca (who she'd become close friends with during an study-abroad she did in Unova under Prof. Juniper)

Who did the most planning? - They did their best to split the load evenly!

Who stressed the most? - Hop

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Rose, though it was a given at that point

Sex:

Who is on top? - It's a tossup, but Gloria a little more often

Who is the one to instigate things? - It's pretty mutual

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Maybe a little shorter than average, but they usually have a longer foreplay

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Mutual satisfaction is the main goal, but if they can they will

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 4, a son named Neil, then three daughters named Caelia, Tania & Annie

How many children will they adopt? - 0

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Hop

Who is the stricter parent? - Gloria

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Both. It's usually Neil who's doing something ill-advised and they've both had to deal with the aftermath before so prevention is key.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Hop

Who is the more loved parent? - They're equally loved!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - They usually go together, but Gloria's more likely to forget or end up accidentally scheduling an important meeting at the same time.

Who cried the most at graduation? - They both were in FLOODS.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Gloria

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Gloria

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Both will eat most things, so they mainly have to deal with the kids (especially Tania) being picky eaters.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Gloria, she's the queen of getting the best deals, finding everything she needs in record time, and knowing all the best quality ingredients.

How often do they bake desserts? - Pretty frequently! Hop especially likes to bake with the kids. There's usually home-baked cookies or brownies in the kitchen at any given time.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat eaters! They both love hearty comfort food.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Hop, since Gloria usually monopolizes the kitchen. He'd like to show off that he can cook, too.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Hop

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Gloria, while trying out something complicated she saw on the Food Network or experimenting with some new fancy cooking appliance.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Hop. Gloria handles almost all the cooking, so Hop does most of the cleaning.

Who is really against chores? - Gloria is not the biggest fan of cleaning.

Who cleans up after the pokémon? - Both look after their own pokémon, but Hop is usually the one who looks after the lab pokémon (while Gloria focuses more on field work.)

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Gloria

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Both of them, unless it's just family visiting.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Hop

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Gloria

Who takes the dog legendary wolves out for a walk? - Both of them like to visit Zacian and Zamazenta frequently and go on walks in the forest with them (as the wolves went back to the Slumbering Weald after the game plots). Sometimes the wolves will come visit the lab though which always causes a stir in Postwick and Wedgehurst!

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - They always decorate as much as possible! Seasonal festive garlands and wreathes, figurines in the windows and garden, the works.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Encourage each other's goals, discover new things together and always be a team, build a warm and happy family and home together.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Hop

Who plays the most pranks? - Gloria (she's teamed up with Neil and Caelia to prank other family members on more than one occasion.)

[xxxlovedandlostxxx]

Ship meme thingy! Anthony & Derek!

sona-and-friends ULTIMATE SHIP MEME Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship! General: Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs How long will they last? - not sure... Anthony's baggage could always ruin things. How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It was pretty quick for Anthony, try as he might to fight that How was their first kiss? - Wedding: Who proposed? - anthony Who is the best man/men? - Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Who did the most planning? - hm... if they did this, Anthony would just ask to elope Who stressed the most? - How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Sex: Who is on top? - both? Anthony is verse Who is the one to instigate things? - Anthony How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head (Anthony is ALWAYS the kinkier one in any relationship, you don't understand. But he tones it down for most people) How long do they normally last? - varies. Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes (sometimes that's hard to quantify when things like edging are involved) How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. Children:How many children will they have naturally? - How many children will they adopt? - Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Who is the stricter parent? - Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Who is the more loved parent? - Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Who cried the most at graduation? - Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Cooking:Who does the most cooking? - Derek? Anthony just orders food Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Anthony Who does the grocery shopping? - both How often do they bake desserts? - never Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - meat lover. Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Anthony- he knows the EXACT moment he decides to trust again Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Anthony. He doesn't wanna do dishes Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - neither Chores:Who cleans the room? - Anthony Who is really against chores? - Derek Who cleans up after the pets? - Anthony Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Anthony Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Anthony Misc:Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Anthony Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - never What are their goals for the relationship? - they just take each day as it comes. Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - both? Who plays the most pranks? - neither. Anthony: only dicks play pranks

[xgoldxnhour]

Ship meme for El and Sam (any verse)

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General: Modern/TWD - I couldn't choose

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Well, both until their death obviously, but modern is a few decades (THANK GOD) and TWD is roughly 18-19 years.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Modern - they've been smitten for awhile, if not the whole time, but we like to torture ourselves with that slow burn best friends to lovers 10K words fanfic. TWD - literally weeks and only knew by each other's voices. It literally breaks me.

How was their first kiss? - MAGICAL. 10/10. Desperation. Chef's Kiss.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Sammy boy

Who is the best man/men? - Modern - hmmmm maybe one of his closest coworkers? His dad?

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - I don't know if she'd have any. Her brother is definitely up there with her

Who did the most planning? - I think El did a lot of the organizing of things, but they did it all together

Who stressed the most? - El, but she just stresses in general. They stressed about different things maybe. I think she stressed most in the beginning and he did getting closer to the wedding.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. - TWD - But I mean. It might've been tiny, but the church was BEAUTIFUL. Modern - Big, barn-like wedding or maybe at the cabin for that woodsy feel. AH. Beautiful.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Uh....cannibals?

Sex:

Who is on top? - Both, but maybe more Sam xD

Who is the one to instigate things? - Both are guilty in all verses.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head - I mean. RDR. That's all I gotta say.

How long do they normally last? - Depends on how much time they got haha. They're both sprinters and endurance runners hahahaha

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes, but I also don't think they're trying to think about it much.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. - Basically no in between lmao

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children: Modern

How many children will they have naturally? - One - their own personal Aurora Borealis

How many children will they adopt? - Well, they technically adopt a lot of fur babies in Modern haha

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - El, but she doesn't mind. Sam is so good about waking up at night though.

Who is the stricter parent? - I think they both have their moments, but maybe El?

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Hm. HM. Depends on the stunt lol. But probably El. Sam is probably the instigator lol.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - El writes her little notes and makes shapes out of her food. It's basically arts and crafts for lunch.

Who is the more loved parent? - Aurora is such a daddy's girl, but mommy gives the best cuddles.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? I think during the day, it's maybe El since she works at the school or in the area. But, Sam will try if he can get the time off.

Who cried the most at graduation? - They both definitely wiped some tears, El probably wept on the car ride home though. Proud parents.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - I mean. Her dad IS the law. So xD

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Depends. Sam is an incredible cook, and they love cooking together. But, if he's working late, she comes and brings him his favorite or whatever she was experimenting that day.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - I think they're actually both pretty adventurous in their palette. Plus, they literally can't be picky in TWD lol.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Mainly El if it's during the week, but they go together on the weekend or she'll text him to pick up something specific after work.

How often do they bake desserts? - Constantly. Once a week if not more.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Both. Maybe Sam's more of a meat eater, but El is definitely an omnivore.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Equally.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Hm. Depends. When do these two leave their house unless they need to haha. For milestone anniversaries and birthdays, they sometimes travel and road trip to the Redwoods or the beach.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - El, but both can get slightly distracted sometimes when they're cooking.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - El. Blast some music and she'll go at it for hours.

Who is really against chores? - No one is against cleaning per say, but maybe they both would rather stay in bed all day instead.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Sam

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Both have their moments.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - El. Everything has to be perfect or she'll go bezerk.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - I don't know why, I feel like Sam would just be that lucky. But, El would be so excited like she's won the lottery about it.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? -El. Sam is the master of the quick shower, but not when El's around lol.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Sam did! But, when then they made it a habit to take Seamus on a walk together. Pumpkin obviously comes and goes on their own accord.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Every. Single. One. El goes overboard for holiday decorations and projects like that. Every season. All the decor. Probably has a HomeGoods credit card for those coupons.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Perseverance. Intimacy. Never go to bed angry. Communication. To love without effort and love even more when it needs effort.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - EL aka the night owl since she's so used to working late nights. Definitely not a morning person. Sam is fluent in her groans in the morning.

Who plays the most pranks? - Both do definitely in Modern. Maybe even more so when they have Aurora who likes to tag team.

@mettleborn

[jojoisnomo]

What's this? It appears that the boys have gotten into their Pop's closet and glued tiny squeaky toys into all of his shoes. Now with every step he takes, there's bound to be little squeaky noises following him. April Fool's!

          For Mojo it was just another day–he was too far engrossed in his newest scheme to realize it was April Fool’s Day. Everything was set and ready, he just had to look the part. He grabbed his signature white boots, slipped them on without a second thought, and only took a few steps before he stopped. What was that sound? That squeak? 

          He took another step and looked down at his feet. What the heck? He ripped off the boots and looked inside to find a squeaky toy he hadn’t noticed before. For a moment, he was confused, but then a laugh escaped him. Of course it was April Fool’s, and that meant that only one person–or rather three people–could be responsible for this. 

          And now that also meant his plans for the day would need to be pushed off. He had a prank to devise.

[sigynthevictorious]

Ship meme- Aradir and Vali and Aradir and Valka

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME! Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship! @valasansi

Under a read more because it's gonna be long 😅

Vali & Aradir (Modern AU)

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Forever - but a lot of on and off again moments

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It took a while but that just made it stronger

How was their first kiss? - Awkward and adorable

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Vali

Who is the best man/men? - Grairy

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Yiviria and Coco obviously

Who did the most planning? - Vali

Who stressed the most? - Vali

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Their bitch neighbour

Sex:

Who is on top? - Vali

Who is the one to instigate things? - Vali

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Depends what they're doing, overall about 15-25 minutes

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes but Aradir more so

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - None

How many children will they adopt? - 1-2 (if Aradir agrees)

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Vali

Who is the stricter parent? - Aradir

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Aradir

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Aradir

Who is the more loved parent? - Aradir

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Both

Who cried the most at graduation? - Vali

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Vali

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Aradir

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Vali

Who does the grocery shopping? - Aradir

How often do they bake desserts? - Aradir does it, if not every night, every other night

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Vali is vegetarian but Aradir makes up for that by buying himself fancy meats

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Vali tries to cook on special occasions

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Vali

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Vali

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Aradir

Who is really against chores? - Vali

Who cleans up after the pets? - Vali

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Vali

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Aradir

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Aradir

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Aradir

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Vali

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Vali goes all out and everything is covered in tinsel come December

What are their goals for the relationship? - Aradir wants a stable and loving life, Vali wants adventure

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Vali

Who plays the most pranks? - Vali

----

Valka & Aradir (Modern AU because why not) tbh both verses are pretty similar

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Forever and ever

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - very quickly

How was their first kiss? - Awkward, sweet and romantic

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Aradir

Who is the best man/men? - Grairy

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Yiviria

Who did the most planning? - Valka

Who stressed the most? - Aradir

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Anhyo 😅

Sex:

Who is on top? - Aradir pre-injuries, Valka after

Who is the one to instigate things? - Equally likely

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - 15-30 minutes depending on the situation, secret quickies are common in their early days

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Definitely

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 1-3

How many children will they adopt? - Neither consider adopting but Valka is open to it

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Valka

Who is the stricter parent? - Aradir

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Aradir

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Aradir

Who is the more loved parent? - Aradir

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Both

Who cried the most at graduation? - Aradir

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Valka

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Aradir

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Valka

Who does the grocery shopping? - Aradir

How often do they bake desserts? - At least 3-4 times a week

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Valka won't eat meat but that doesn't stop Aradir

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Valka tries and spends days going through his recipes to find something good but easy to make

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Valka

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Valka

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Valka

Who is really against chores? - Valka

Who cleans up after the pets? - Valka

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Valka

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Aradir

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Aradir

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Aradir

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Aradir

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - All the time. All the decorations, many of them handmade

What are their goals for the relationship? - To grow old together

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Aradir

Who plays the most pranks? - Valka

[streetsofsecretswegone]

@tcpimpabutterfly​   said  :    ✩—Nick & Janie

Under the cut because long!

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Janie when she is entirely sick and FED UP of Nick’s trifling ways.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? I know in my heart that Janie has no problem turning her back on Nick when she feels enough is enough and Nick, who believes he will get over her and look back on her as a fond memory -- has a hard time getting over her. So, yeah, Nick can’t find himself leaving if he says he’s done with all the “crazy shit.”

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Janie!!

Who trashes the house? An argument can lead to Janie trying to get physical with Nick, him restraining her, her fighting back - things fall and get broken along the way. Chowder is barking and also ready to whoop Nick’s ass.

Do either of them get physical? ^^ Nick would NEVER hit Janie unless he thought she was going to try to kill him forreal. Then he has to knock her out. 

How often do they argue/disagree? Nowadays? Their relationship is fucked up so they argue more often than not. Like, “Nick get off my property.” “Nick don’t post my picture on Instagram.” It’s been a long time since they’ve been civil with each other. 

Who is the first to apologize? Nick!!!!! He’s out here like Usher releasing his woe in confessions, or Jay Z apologizing in 4:44. 

Sex:

Who is on top? Varies, but usually Janie. 

Who is on the bottom? Varrieesss.

Who has the strangest desires? Janie be on that freak shit.

Any kinks? So, Janie’s into safe knife play and rope play. Nick was cool with rope play, handcuffs, but then Janie whipped out the knife and he was like 😲

Who’s dominant in bed? You know powerplay is probably a big thing with these two.

Is head ever in the equation? I honestly feel like Janie isn’t into giving head, like regardless of if she loves her partner or not. I can just envision her pissed at Nick over something petty and she’s like, “my tooth hurts.”/“I’m trying to sleep, leave me alone.”

If so, who is better at performing it? Nick. He felt like giving Janie good head could put him on her good side.

Ever had sex in public? Yes, it leads to some AU babies.

Who moans the most? Janie.

Who leaves the most marks? Janie.

Who screams the loudest? I mean Nicky’s the one getting sliced.

Who is the more experienced of the two? I feel like the two have them have gained a lot of experience from being each others firsts in a lot of ways. They explored kinks together and what not.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Fuck.

Rough or soft? Rough as hell.

How long do they usually last? It ends when Janie’s sadistic ass says it ends. 💅🏾

Is protection used? Sometimes. Typically. If they were to fuck now, I can imagine Janie telling Nick that she doesn’t know where he’s been so he needs a condom.

Does it ever get boring? Nope!

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? Strange by JANIE’S standards would be when she slept with Nick at the house he and Jerrold were sharing at the time. Jerrold was gone, of course, but Janie was still trying her hardest to conceal her sneer. 

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? In a better AU, Janie’s twins were the result of a PRISON VISIT. Nick always wanted to have a family with her, though. If so, how many children do your muses want/have? In main, Janie and Nick have Simone who tells Janie that she’s NOT her mother. In a better AU, Janie and Nick have Leticia and Levi. Nick has brought up the potential of them having a third kid but, I don’t know. Janie has strong reservations with Nick’s record of legal troubles. Who is the favorite parent? Both Nick and Janie are loved well by their kids. Though, granted, Simone loves her dad more on default. Who is the authoritative parent? Both - but in different ways. Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Nick!  Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Also Nick.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? I can imagine it can be difficult for Janie due to work purposes, and Nick has missed out on a few things due to his prison stint when the twins were 7 years old. There are fill-ins though, like Louis will pop up. Jerrold too because he views these kids as his niece and nephew!! There’s also Sal and Delores of course.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews? Janie has had to go to some alone when Nick was i n c a r c e r a t e d. 😔

Who changes the diapers? Both, because Cassandra specifically told Nick: “how the fuck do you not know how to change a diaper?”

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Both, but mostly Nick since Janie is getting ready for work by 4 AM.

Who spends the most time with the children? Nick...because he would have tea parties with Leticia or take her on her annual Friday shopping spree at Toys R Us. Plus, he’s bound to go see the latest superhero movie with Levi, if not play video games with him. He gets really engaged in doing whatever the kids wanna do, and he will be offended if he’s disrupted by it.  I mean really, Sal can say: “the warehouse is on fire!” and Nick replies, “I’m paintin’ baby girl’s finger nails!!” Who packs their lunch boxes? Janie. Who gives their children ‘the talk’? I feel like Janie would jump on it, because she has to tell Leticia to cut their hands off if things are no longer consensual.  Who cleans up after the kids? Janie...has spent some time doing that. Nick isn’t as prompt as he should be. Who worries the most? Nick gets paranoid sometimes. He tends to be paranoid with a lot of things. Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? From............someone in the family. (Cassandra/Cassandra’s kids)

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? That’s pretty much Nicky.

Who is the little spoon? 😌 Janie because she lowkey likes to feel safe.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Nick tends to initiate this shit lmao

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Nick.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? You mean how long can they cuddle until someone has to go to work or someone calls or he tries to initiate sex.

Who gives the most kisses? Nick.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity? Going out to eat Italian Food.

Where is their favorite place to cuddle? The bed!

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? Nick, though I feel like this question is dangerous.

How often do they get time to themselves? You know in main she ain’t trying to be around him!! But even aside from that I feel like they find the right space and time to be together.

Sleeping:

Who snores? Nicky!

If both do, who snores the loudest? ^^

Do they share a bed or sleep separately? This is verse dependent. Cause they are not at a living together stage yet in main.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Dependent. Who talks in their sleep? Neither.

What do they wear to bed? Night clothes. Pajamas. What else? 😤 Are either of your muses insomniacs? Nick can be sleep deprived sometimes, but not a insomniac. 

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? I’mma say nah. Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Varies! Who wakes up with bed hair? Nick’s been bald for some time now and, I’m certain Janie wears a bonnet. Who wakes up first? Janie at 4 AM! Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Nick would. 😍😭 What is their favorite sleeping position? Nick likes to lay on his back with Janie slightly on his chest.  Who hogs the sheets? Janie. Do they set an alarm each night? Yes, Janie has a alarm set for work. Can a television be found in their bedroom? Yes.  Who has nightmares? Both. Who has ridiculous dreams? Nick. Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Nick is guilty of this. Who makes the bed? Janie - because even though she leaves first, Nick isn’t the best at getting the sheets together. What time is bed time? Janie has a more set bedtime than Nick does. Because the night, for Nick, can mean he has some serious work to do. Any routines/rituals before bed? Janie does what she has to do, while Nick kind of just flops in bed.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? BOTH.

Work:

Who is the busiest? I feel like they’re both quite busy. Janie at the news station while Nick is (at certain point in times) a nightclub manager. These are equally demanding occupations. Who rakes in the highest income? I’d say Nicky. Especially since he got that $cozzari money. Are any of your muses unemployed? Nope. Who takes the most sick days? Nick. Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Nick. Who sucks up to their boss? Nick is his own boss soooooooooooooooooo probably Janie. What are their jobs? Janie is a reporter who also moonlights as a serial killer, Nick is a nightclub manager who is also a high-ranking gangster. Together they’re quite the pair! Who stresses the most? Nick, he’s always obsessing with thinking three steps ahead of everyone else. Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Yes. Are your muses financially stable? Yup!

Home:

Who does the washing? Both. Especially when it comes to getting blood out of their outfits as soon as possible-

Who takes out the trash? Nick.

Who does the ironing? Both, Nick a little more.

Who does the cooking? Nick REALLY likes to go out to eat.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Nick, especially if he gets distracted by the kids, sports, or an invasive Jerrold.

Who is messier? Nick.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Nick.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? ...Nick.

Who forgets to flush the toilet? Neither, Nick has been scolded by his mother -and sisters- for forgetting to put the toilet seat down all his life.

Who is the prankster around the house? Those darn twins!!

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Neither, they’re very prompt when they have to get out or get the fuck out.

Who mows the lawn? Nick - or Levi.

Who answers the telephone? Both, but Nick is more inclined to.

Who does the vacuuming? Both, but catch Nick doing it when he’s trashed the house too much while Janie is away and its important that he speed cleans.

Who does the groceries? Janie.

Who takes the longest to shower? Janie.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Janie x3!

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? Not one bit.

How many cars do they own? Janie has hers, Nick has his - so two.

Do they own their home or do they rent? Own.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? Neither.

Do they live in the city or in the country? New York City Baby 😜

Do they enjoy their surroundings? Nick can’t imagine being nowhere else, personally. Yet even with that said, I can imagine that Janie hates half of the population. She’ll find some reason to hate. Some way.

What’s their song? Nick’s so in love with Janie that it isn’t uncommon for him to hear a song on the radio and think about her. I mean, this is a man who made her so many mixtapes in high school. At the moment, Nick lays in bed and thinks of Common’s song “Faithful.” He’s also stared out the window while Jaheim’s, “Find My Way Back” plays. 😔 The main song that made him realize he was in love with her was, “All I Do Is Think Of You” by The Jackson 5 and it still rings true to this day smh

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Work and kill. Kill and work. Janie also bonds with Chowder while Nick bonds with Louis and Jerrold, who are not nearly as wonderful as Chowder!

Where did they first meet? HIGH SCHOOL, English Class!

How did they first meet? They had some boring classroom introductions on day one but Nick didn’t pay her much of any attention. Afterwards, He heard the name Janie said by the teacher, but he thought that the teacher was mispronouncing the name of another girl, Janet. Later, when Janie rose in the class to read something he would realize that she was, in fact, not Janet. Later on they would have their first actual conversation when Nick asked to copy her homework. He had to work a little charm on her too. 😏 because she was like :| “No.”

Who spends the most money when out shopping? Janie. Nick isn’t much of a materialistic man. This was a guy who wore bootleg Bart Simpson shirts when he was a kid.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Janie.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Janie because she’s evil inside.

Any mental issues? To the roof.  Who’s terrified of bugs? Janie!! Who kills the spiders around the house? Nick has to! Their favorite place? Spaghetti Warehouse because that’s where they had their first date back in the day. Also, there’s specific areas in Florida they love. Who pays the bills? When they’re living separately they pay their own shit. When they live together, Nick has no issue making sure Janie never spends any of her hard earned money. Do they have any fears for their future? Janie may fear going to jail for her murders when she has her kids rgbmvfg Nick doesn’t fear a damn thing. He has a tattoo that says NEVER SCARED because he’s been through so much.  Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Nick all the way! Who uses up all of the hot water? Janie. Who’s the tallest? Nick at 6′0. He’s even taller than his dad! Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Nick, but he second thinks that a lot. Who wanders around in their underwear? Nick. Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? jkhnk Nick, especially when those oldies come on. What do they tease each other about? I don’t think Janie necessarily teases, I think she complains about certain things like Nick’s music tastes, his grumpiness with the youth, all that. Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? I think Janie would get so tired of seeing him in that same damn leather jacket. Do they have mutual friends? Chowder is their mutual friend. :) No one else. Who crushed first? I feel like Janie had a crush on Nick that she effortlessly brushed off because he would always do something dumb to ruin it. Like flirt with some other girl in their class and that reminded her men ain’t shit. Any alcohol or substance related problems? No. Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Nick. Catch him drunk calling her like, “i’m just sayin’ you could do better........” or, “I NEED TO APOLOGIZE”

Who swears the most? Nick doesn’t swear as furiously as Cassandra, but I feel that he does more than Janie all the same.

[faithchel]

lyra and john for the ship ask?

thank you lovely! 💕

GENERAL

rate the ship awful | ew | no pics pls | i’m not comfortable | alright | i like it! | got pics? | let’s do it! | why is this not getting more attention?! | the otp to rule all other otps

how long will they last? as long as some part of either of them exists tbh

how quickly did/will they fall in love? when i say they have no chill and lyra moved into the ranch after living in hope county for two weeks i mean it

how was their first kiss? john’s nose bled, next question

WEDDING

who proposed? technically john. sort of. ( i’m sorry for this long answer but i haven’t really discussed it so ) lyra had already joined the project, lived with john, begun her training with jacob, and had taken up the rudimentary form of what would eventually become her role as the judge. it had only been a few months, but joseph believed he recognized her from his visions and wanted to bring her into the family Officially; at this point john and lyra were already 100% in it and he was straight up like if she’s going to become a seed it’s going to be through me, because, well, john. lyra just looked at him when he came to her with it and said “what of it? are you not my husband? am i not your wife?” and that was that; lyra doesn’t live by half-measures, she was married in every way that mattered to her the second she stepped across that threshold with her bags. ( well. shaggy carried the bags. but you get it. )

who is the best man/men? no one, but if you listened carefully you could hear shaggy sobbing outside the church. is he happy for them or crushed by the revelation he’s really stuck with both of them forever now? who can say!

who is the bride’s maid(s)? no one; faith was Not pleased when she heard lyra had gone and married her brother without telling her ( but it would have been her, if they’d had attendees. )

who did the most planning? there wasn’t much, but john ( and joseph, i suppose, since he officiated. )

who stressed the most? the only one who had any amount of stress was john.

how fancy was the ceremony? back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 ( i’ve been informed inflation adjustment was necessary by virtue of lyra’s aura ) | 4 | normal church wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

who was specifically not invited to the wedding? everyone, with the exception of joseph by necessity; while the significance of the two most extra drama fiends to ever step into the valley having the most understated ceremony in existence could be elaborated on with sentimentality — they can come as they are with each other, etc etc — it was partly a tactical move; lyra couldn’t fairly well maintain her cover with the locals if she publicly married john seed in an elaborate ceremony. they intend to have one officially in the new eden with all of the family and faithful; they never get that chance.

SEX

who is on top? either/or tbh

who is the one to instigate things? either/or

how healthy is their sex life? barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | they are humping each other on the couch right now

how kinky are they? straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head ( no horse head necessary in the sex dungeon. just kidding. they don’t have a sex dungeon they just hook up in the normal torture one )

how long do they normally last? before everything went to hell, as long as they want ( rip, get the ice packs ); after the reaping begins, as long as they have

do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? okay listen i’m going to be brutally honest, they fuck a lot, they’re not counting but they’re not complaining

how rough are they in bed? softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | the bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make dwayne johnson blush. also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. ( their walls are premium )

how much cuddling/snuggling do they do? no touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | a little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | they snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. ( lyra is actually the biggest offender but she blames his needy ass. also if she knows you know this she’ll commit homicide. this is not hyperbole )

CHILDREN

how many children will they have naturally? none. ( in aus they do; one in the cult wins verse because lyra’s iud expired but she was not willing to sacrifice her sex life, and fairbrookseed have three; the twins via wes and a younger son via john. )

how many children will they adopt? three at the beginning of the reaping — boomer, peaches & cheeseburger. ( john unwilling. )

who gets stuck with the most diapers? not applicable, but hypothetically shaggy

who is the stricter parent? it would have been john

who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? it would have been john; lyra would have taught them the dangerous stunts they’re doing after school

who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? it would have been shaggy

who is the more loved parent? the furbabies love lyra more. obviously.

who is more likely to attend the pta meetings? it wOULD HAVE BEEN JOHN

who cried the most at graduation? same answer; lyra would have waited until they got home and then cried in the shower for an hour

who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? either/both, but in practice probably john

COOKING

who does the most cooking? neither/shaggy; lyra if you count her Attempts when she staggers in at 3am after hunting sinners or gathering intel at the spread eagle

who is the most picky in their food choice? john; lyra behaves like she is but in fact thinks it will be a shame when casey’s non-testicle related recipes are lost when he burns in the collapse

who does the grocery shopping? neither; lyra’s the most likely to bring things back from town, but it’s usually liquor she swiped from the bar ( so that mary may can’t sell it, of course! )

how often do they bake desserts? they don’t bake

are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? whatever shaggy puts in front of them; it’s probably meat and it’s probably unfortunate

who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? john, but he’s only responsible for the theatrics; everything was 100% still prepared by the flock

who is more likely to suggest going out? for the truly exceptional hope county cuisine, served in businesses they definitely didn’t try to get shut down, in which they are most definitely both still welcome and could appear together without blowing her cover and/or getting shot on sight? neither. in a “let’s physically go out by the fire pit” sense, lyra.

who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? honestly, both of them, because in the event they were cooking one of them probably decided to be distracting~ while they waited~ and oh no they forgot about it oh no everything’s on fire oh no shaggy put it out oh no shaggy how could you let this happen

CHORES

who cleans the room? shaggy

who is really against chores? both to an extent, but especially lyra

who cleans up after the pets? neither, but since john philosophically opposes their presence in the first place and tries to ship them off to jacob every tuesday, it sure as hell ain’t him

who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? if, inexplicably, they’re sweeping, it’s lyra, both proverbially and literally

who stresses the most when guests are coming over? if the guest is joseph ( or even jacob ), JOHN. otherwise they’re unconcerned.

who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? a dollar? one (1) dollar? john keeps literal stacks of thousands of dollars in cash just sitting around. the answer is hopefully not the resistance.

MISC

who takes the longer showers/baths? john ( but lyra usually joins. )

who takes the dog out for a walk? shaggy, boomer has almost taken his leg off on fifty separate occasions. ( it’s lyra. )

how often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? canonically they never have the opportunity, really, but lyra probably would have decorated for the winter holidays. some mistletoe on the antlers, a garland on that sinner corpse hanging out by the porch. beautiful.

what are their goals for the relationship? to make it to new eden, tbh. they found unconditional love in each other when that was an impossibility for them for most of their lives; they just want to keep what they have and prove themselves worthy.

who is most likely to sleep till noon? JOHN. lyra’s up before dawn every day ( and drags him out of bed to watch the sunrise with her; he’s very excited for the apocalypse. )

who plays the most pranks? pranks? lyra, but not the funny sort, it’s like...whoops, sorry, i forgot to mention i was roasting sinners out back, the grounds will smell like burning flesh for a bit! did you bring home any flayed skin today? <3 ( i jest, it’s more to the effect of “the sinners were terribly dull today so to amuse myself i told them i heard rumors about the judge and the reason they didn’t know you had a wife is because you kept her locked in a sex dungeon. also, adelaide wants you to spank her. how went the confessions?” )

[seven-oomen]

I think you know I would not be me if I didn't request DILF Club or Peter/Noah (or maybe Chris/Noah for a little adventure) for the Ultimate Ship Meme thing. 😆 But only if you feel like it. That champagne sounds like the "sparkling" grape juices in fancy bottles they have everywhere this time of year. I almost got some, but I still have a tiny bottle of prosecco I'll probably just have instead. Maybe if I drink a little I'll finally write some. 😅 Hope you're feeling better! - B

Consider I got two DILF club requests for this meme, I’ll do the OUAT verse for this one and another verse for the other ask. XD 

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OT3 to rule all other OT3s

How long will they last? For eternity, even death doesn’t part them.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? It was a bit of a process the first year, it wasn’t instant love. Though the connection was there due to the soulmate bond. Especially Chris took his time to allow himself to love. The first one to fall was Peter, he fell for Noah first, then Noah fell for Peter. When Chris came into their lives, Peter realized he loved him during one of their Nemeton visits. Noah followed a few weeks later. Chris was the last to fall for both of them.

How was their first kiss? Sweet, a little sloppy, and Chris bumped his head at least twice while giggling. Much to Peter and Noah’s amusement.

Wedding:

Who proposed? Peter did, at the Nemeton when he gave them their Triskelion Necklace parts.

Who is the best man/men? Derek is the best man, the groomsmen are Jackson and Stiles. Ben was their ring bearer.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? Melissa is their best ma’am. Allison and Malia are the bride's maids.

Who did the most planning? Peter did, he choose all the fashion, the venue, paid for the wedding, got the caterer and the florist. (though Chris tried to pay for things as did Noah, but Peter wouldn’t have it. They bought the rings and Peter’s suit for him as ‘retaliation’. Chris and Noah also planned a little song called here comes the sun that their pack, friends, and family sang to them as they walked down the aisle with Peter. Noah played the guitar for the occasion with Malia.)

Who stressed the most? Chris, he’s the internal stresser of the group and he had a few panic attacks while trying to get everything in place. Noah was a close second.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. (They rented a place, invited closest friends and family but kept it on the down-low.)

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? Kate, Gerard, Elias, and one other person who shall not be named yet.

Sex:

Who is on top? They switch, all of them like to top and bottom and they’re not picky on who gets to be on top/bottom. Things just happen.

Who is the one to instigate things? Usually Peter, but Chris or Noah (especially when they team up) can be real degenerates as well.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now (They’re not shy about their sex life and very much enjoy each other’s bodies and closeness. It’s a great way for them to strengthen their relationship.)

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head (They’re into toys, bondage, breeding kinks, biting/marking, dom/sub play, public sex, and some other milder kinks, nothing too crazy but also not too vanilla.)

How long do they normally last? Depends, if they’re fired up and excited they might not last long, 5-10 min, but if they go slow and steady they might also last for 30-60m. Or well, Peter will last that long, Noah and Chris both recover fairly fast and can go multiple times in a row.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? They try to get Chris and Noah to come an equal amount of times, Peter is just happy to see them come and since he can come once and then needs 10-20m to recover. (I know werewolves have healing but his senses need a break) So he tries to make them come often and then comes once or twice himself.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. (It really depends on their mood)

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? Between the three of them? 8 in this universe. Twins: Allison & Jackson, Stiles & Malia, Adeline & Mikhail, and the singles: Ben, TBN (Currently named Kaya but that might change)

How many children will they adopt? They fostered Isaac, and unofficially adopted Erica and Danny. (Boyd is part of the pack though, but since he’s mated to Erica at some point it feels weird to say they adopted him too)

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Peter, and he doesn’t mind it one bit. He didn’t get to change many diapers for Allison & Jackson or Ben, got his fair share of them with Malia & Stiles though. But he doesn’t mind, his mates were pregnant and gave birth, so it only seems fair he needs to step up in the diaper department.

Who is the stricter parent? Chris. Noah tries but is too soft most of the time or too chaotic, and Peter just can’t say no once one of the kids pulls puppy eyes. (Especially Ben. And the others know it.)

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Chris is best at stopping them, Noah tries to but due to his job can’t always keep an eye on them. Peter comes with them to let them explore but safely. He protects them while they do stupid shit.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Chris. He’s got the whole routine down to pat and is a streamlined machine in the mornings. Noah still can’t wrap his head around it.

Who is the more loved parent? The kids had a phase where they preferred Peter, since he’d just come into their lives again, but once that died down they all loved their parents equally. (Jackson would never admit it, but he comes to love Noah as a parental figure. I have something planned for that.)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Peter, he loves to hear how his kids are doing in school and doesn’t mind to absolutely obliterate their teachers if he knows a teacher is picking on his kids. He lives for shit like this as the rich house husband to his two working husbands. Also, the opportunity to brag to Karen about Jackson & Stiles’s grades or Malia’s shop accomplishments, or Allison’s latest political victory in the student council as their vice president (Lydia’s the president, they’re a power couple.) is just too good to pass up.

Who cried the most at graduation? Peter, he finally gets to see a milestone up close and personal for all of his kids. Though Noah is openly crying as well, and Chris has watery eyes. (He keeps it in until they get home and then hugs all the kids while crying.)

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Let’s face it, it’s Noah. He technically has to make sure that the law is upheld, but when it comes to his own kids, he’s not above giving them a pass. Though he’s more lenient towards kids in general. But yeah, Noah will most likely try and bail his kids out. Peter would let them steam for a few hours in a “You got caught, you deal with it.” Kinda way and then bail them out after a few hours. Chris would let them steam for a bit too and then determine how big the offense was before bailing them out.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Chris, he’s the most practiced and most efficient. Though Noah loves to cook Polish food and bread. Peter does it when both of his mates have to work or are too tired to cook. He’s getting better at it.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? Peter. Werewolf senses mean he has a fussy pallette. He hates most vegetables for one. Though he has competition in Jackson once Jackson takes the bite, the little shit is a regular Gordon Ramsey.

Who does the grocery shopping? Peter, since Noah and Chris, tend to work during the day and he’s more of a stay-at-home house husband and dad. Chris gives him the lists. That doesn’t stop him from sneaking in snacks and candy for himself, Noah, and the kids.

How often do they bake desserts? At least once a week. Whether it’s for bake sales, PTO meetings, birthdays, weekends, a tryout, there’s always a baked good on the kitchen counter.

Are they more of a meat-lover or a salad eater? Peter and Noah are more Meat lovers. Chris is a mix between the two. He likes salads and meat but doesn’t have a preference over either. Unlike the other two.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Peter, he takes them out to a grill restaurant. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but the quality has to be outstanding. They get their older kids to babysit and let them order anything they want as a reward.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? Once again, Peter, I feel like Noah or Chris would be more likely to be home dwellers and Peter’s the one that takes them to bars, musicals, restaurants, malls, etc.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? Noah, he’s not a bad cook, but he gets distracted by everything else and forgets he has pots/pans on the furnace.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? Chris or Peter. 

Who is really against chores? Noah forgets to do them sometimes, but I feel like none of them is actually against them. Peter doesn’t like to do them but he likes a clean house, so.

Who cleans up after the pets? They have eight kids, a bunch of werewolves, a banshee, a kitsune, a hellhound, a Seelie, and god knows what else running around on the full moon. You think they have room for a pet??? 

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? Peter. If there’s no evidence it never happened. Now come help me clean this up before you papa and poppa get home. Or when it comes to his mates he just speaks softly and forgives. He’s been in a coma for six years, he’s not gonna let anything trivial get to him. Family is everything.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? Chris. It’s his training and a bit of an OCD thing. “No, you don't get it Noah my love, EVERYTHING has to be spotless...” Cue Chris running around with a vacuum cleaner and a mop. “It’s just Melissa & Derek for wine night...”

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Chris, and he puts them in the fun jar that they use to reward the kids. Once the jar is full, they go shopping or do another fun activity with the kids. Bad behavior/swearing gets money removed from the jar and into the dad jar. That money is used to give Chris/Peter/Noah an extra outing if the kids were particularly difficult.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Noah is a slut for long showers/baths. It’s his moment of relaxation.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? Noah occasionally walks Peter in his wolf form. At some point, people think Peter is a K9 unit, and Noah rolls with it. Which opens up opportunities for Peter to stay with Noah at work.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? Every year they decorate for Christmas, the midwinter solstice/yule, the spring equinox, thanksgiving, Halloween/Samhain.

What are their goals for the relationship? To love and support one another through anything and to keep a fun and raging sex life well into old age. But mostly to love and cherish one another and build each other up just the way they are.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? Chris if you let him, training and habit have him up early, but his natural sleep cycle is to sleep like a log and to Noon.

Who plays the most pranks? Noah, he’s a mischievous little shit that loves to pull pranks on people and very sassy to boot. Where do you think Stiles and Malia have that from?