#& then I forget again and then see it again and go hey I need to watch that event. and so on and so forth. tiny hamster brain.

[finelinevogue]

talk to me

summary - aaron is vulnerable after his family is taken from him, only you are brave enough to confront him

pairing - aaron hotchner x bau-gf!reader

word count - ~1k [very angsty…not my usual happy writing]

“Why hasn’t he killed himself yet?”

The same question ran through your head over and over again, like it was some godforsaken lyric you couldn’t stop repeating.

Only it wasn’t a lyric.

It was something Hotch had said on a case today.

Granted it was about the unsub you were catching, but you couldn’t stop going over and over the double meaning to his words. You couldn’t stop wondering if that was Hotch’s cry for help.

You were currently driving to his apartment.

It was rough for you and Aaron right now.

Aaron getting stabbed was traumatic enough for you, but for Aaron to go through that as well as losing his family and all control? It was devastating.

You and Aaron had been together for over a year, making it work with being in a relationship whilst balancing his role as a dad. Aaron was doing the extreme best he could and you were so proud of him.

But you could see the emotional toll it had taken on him these last few weeks since the incident.

It was so clear that Aaron believed he was a terrible father and he was punishing himself for it.

You were really worried about him. You cared for Aaron a lot and it was heartbreaking to think that he was keeping such self deprecating thoughts to himself. He should know better.

You pulled up outside his apartment and quickly went into his apartment.

It didn’t take long to climb the stairs and reach his door.

You hesitated.

What if you were overthinking? What if he was actually alright and by you confronting him would just plant doubting seeds?

Swearing to yourself, you knocked.

A minute later and Aaron undid the latch and opened up.

“Hey?” He clearly wasn’t expecting you.

“Hey.”

“You coming in?” He opened the door wider.

“You’re not going to ask me why I’m here?” You questioned, crossing your arms over your chest accusatorially.

“Do I need to question why my girlfriend is visiting?” He furrowed his brows.

“You normally would,” You answered, “But you already know why I’m here.”

You pushed past him and walked into his apartment. This conversation was not meant for the listening ears of everyone on Aaron’s apartment floor.

He closed the door with a sigh and clicked the latch again.

Aaron came and stood near you, hands on his hips as he awaited your next move. You could tell by his body language that the direction this conversation was moving in was making him really uncomfortable.

Well that was fine with you.

“So…”

“So what?” Aaron looked down at his shoes before looking back at you.

“We promised never to profile each other.” You said.

“And yet here you are.” He challenged you.

Aaron was getting defensive and you hadn’t even started the conversation yet.

You knew that getting through to him would be hard but you sometimes forget how many solid walls and foundations this man has built around himself. One chisel at a time might not be enough.

“Don’t do this, Aaron.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Push me away!” You shouted, flailing your arms up.

“I’m not…” Aaron looked off to the side.

“Aaron. I know you better than you think I do. Don’t push me away when I’m trying to help.”

“I don’t need your help.” Aaron said bitterly, still not raising his voice. Sometimes his cold shoulder was worse than his angry tone. You’d seen strong-willed men crumble at their knees under Aaron’s glare.

“Stop being so stubborn.” You groaned.

“Well stop profiling me.” Aaron bit back.

“I’m not profiling you, Aaron. I’m simply being a good friend. I’ve noticed that my boyfriend is constantly sad and says things that make me… nervous - that’s not profiling.”

“Stay out of my head.” Aaron warned.

There was no going back from this.

If he broke up with you then so be it, but you weren’t taking any chances. Not when Aaron’s mental or emotional stability was on the line.

“What did you mean today when you said, ‘Why hasn’t he killed himself yet?’ Hmm?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

Aaron shook his head, “I said stay out of my head.”

“Were you asking it about the unsub…”

“Don’t.” Aaron shook his head.

“Or were you asking about yourself?” You questioned the one thing that had been constantly on your mind ever since he’d said it.

“No.” Aaron shook his head, eyes tearing up slightly.

“Aaron, honey, it’s okay to be sad –.”

“I’m not sad, I’m devastated!” He shouted. It took every fibre of it being not to flinch and send the wrong message.

“Honey…”

“No. You want to truth? I’ve questioned what the point is anymore, of course I have. My son has been taken from me in the most cruel way possible and I can’t do a goddamn thing, so I’m sorry if I seem a little more sad than usual.” His words dripped with venom.

His breath was uneven and heavy after he’d finished, almost like he was holding himself back from letting out more.

“Is that it?” You said bravely.

Aaron’s gaze pierced yours. His honey eyes so focused that they had lost their spark.

“What?”

“You want to shout at someone? Then shout at me. You want to make someone cry? Then make it me. You want to punch a wall? I’ll stitch your hand up after. You want to cry? I’ll be here with the tissues.”

Aaron’s body physically deflated as you spoke.

You weren’t done yet though.

“You think that this is a burden you carry alone, Aaron. Well it’s not. Yes it’s your family that Foyet is targeting but you are not the reason that Foyet turned out to be the way he is. You are not solely responsible for his escape or any of his devious plans. So if you want to be devastated, then fine. In fact, I’d welcome you to show your heart on your sleeve for once. But don’t for one second think of doing something stupid. Not when I’m right here.”

Aaron dropped to his knees then head hanging low as his body shook from his tears.

You had hoped it would come to this. Not that you enjoyed seeing Aaron upset, but you appreciated seeing him be vulnerable with you.

It meant that he still felt safe with you.

“I’m sorry.” He kept repeating through his sobs.

You moved quickly to kneel on the ground in front of him, pulling his body into yours so you could hold him tight.

Aaron’s love language was physical touch, so physical touch you would give him. If he thought he was anything less than loved by you then you had failed as a partner.

“You’re okay. I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay.”

You kept reassuring him, keeping your hold tight on him whilst rubbing his back comfortingly.

<.><.>

[bonus]

You stayed on the floor with Aaron for over an hour.

He needed the time to cry and let everything out, whilst knowing he had someone next to him to keep him safe.

You had eventually both made it to bed.

Even though you didn’t have any of your work clothes here and your car was definitely violating parking rights outside, you couldn’t find it in yourself to leave Aaron. You didn’t want to leave him.

He was currently resting his head on your chest as he slept, his body breathing on heavily. You were sat up in his bed, stroking a comforting hand through his hair. His arms were wrapped tightly around you so you couldn’t be taken from him.

It had been a tough day, but you had reminded Aaron that there’s always a reason to keep going at the end of it.

[threepandas]

Bad End: Snake Bride

There were pudgy little yellow creatures everywhere, here. As common as squirrels, it seemed. They looked like squishy, somber, ditto-faced Pikachus...sorta? I made a note of it. Stopping to make a few sketches. Not that anyone here would ever get the reference, mind you. And they didn't have the iconic tail. More of a nubby little hamster tail?

I'd have to figure out a better description. For the bestiary. Not to mention a suitably cute name, assuming they weren't deadly, after all...

You never knew, with hidden realms like these.

Throughout my training, the other disciples and I had been beaten over the head with countless tales of "it looked cute/pretty/beautiful/holy/or otherwise harmless AND THEN TRIED TO KILL US. Do NOT make our mistakes! I will pull you from the jaws of death! Just to kill you myself!!" by our Shizun. The man could rant for hours.

He still couldn't let go that a glowing, flower patterned, butterfly tried to rip his throat out. And? Since he technically for them "first"? (As far as anyone can find.) He got to name then poor creatures.

Which is why, there exists a very beautiful species of highly deadly butterfly... called the "flying demon rat bastard spawn".

(God, I love Shizun so much. He is so, SO petty. Hilarious, vengeful, the man's the living manifestation of "target sighted". Man has beef with specific TREES for god sake. I wish I had HALF that kind of energy. Even if it DID get us banned from like... so many places.)

I tried to get a good look at the little guys mouth, seeing one yawn. Hmmm... the teeth suggest venom. Better not startle any of them... but NOT I'm gonna need to catch one to milk it. Great. They seem fast...

A knock out array? No. Need them to want to bite me, so I can get a venom sample...

Crouching, I mulled over the problem. Admiring the little creatures as the clambered up and down the strange flora of this realm. It was fascinating. Humbling, in a way. When, I considered that? No one else had DONE this before. I knew it for a fact. Every single reference to this hidden realm? Was from either the immortal who created it... or four hundred years later, the immortal who sacked the placed.

It was hard to get into, hard to find, didn't boast any supposed ten thousand year treasures or legendary beasts. Just? A humble pocket of life. Started and left to cultivate. Shift and change. Grow!

Who CARES what uses the creatures or plants have?! This place should be STUDIED! All these realms should be studied! They're amazing!!

I spot a moss I haven't collected yet and carefully take a sample. Noting it's location on the map I've started (which is a mess, I fear I definitely have no future there). Of course, as is so often the case? Finding one sample leads to another. Moss leads to "oh hey, a mushroom" to "is that bird or a leaf?" And so on and so on. I nearly forget to make camp.

(It was a bird. It just looked like leaves! Fascinating camouflage!)

Only noticing the light shifting qualities, drags me from my hyperfocus. A nasty (or, I guess, productive? For an immortal.) habit. I had lost days to it, before. Disappearing into the library or some work room, back on the peak, for time blurringly long periods of time. Inedia keeping me from hunger. Younger disciples bringing me tea.

There was a reason, after all, I never made Head Disciple. Even though I got along great with Shizun. I was about as responsible as a goldfish. Entirely too focused on my own studies, to be honest. But to be fair? Let's see YOU focus! When there is so much... I don't know, Xianxia bullshit?

(IS it Xianxia bullshit? Or is it Xuanhuan bullshit? Fuck. It's been a life time. I literally can not not remember. Let's see YOU remember the differences! After literal decades!!)

(God, I miss my books. And the internet. And TV. Honestly? I miss everything.)

Fuck! Side tracked! Again!!

Careful not to step on any of the marshmallow-y not-pikachus, I scramble to collect the last of my samples. Reach out with my Qi, to feel how the ebbs and flows around me shift. I should? Be able to sense any nearby predators. As well as posdibly find a nice qi rich spot to set up camp. Maybe meditate.

Just because I'm exploring hidden realms, doesn't mean I should grow lazy, after all! Whole point of cultivation it to ascend. God hood and all that. And, yeah, I'm still sceptical as fuck. But... count me curious. Why not try?

Oooh! That's a nice ca-! Hmmm?

Something... not-brushes against my senses. As though it should be there. I should sense something. An almost taste and nearly smell of... something? Someone? Kinda like the faintest hint of someone's cologne, lingering in the air, as you move through a crowd that isn't touching you. But... warmer. Like it's still on the skin. Not a lingering remnant from someone who passed through?

It's... weird. I can't sense anybody.

Maybe if I try harder? I pump more qi into my technique. More then is technically polite, honestly. But maybe they are farther out then I think they are? I hadn't exactly expected to be sharing space. This Realm isn't exactly BIG. Just a ring of mountains and the valleys between them. One big, lush valley. Many smaller ones.

Again, it's not a popular realm. Not to mention already looted. And not even particularly Qi rich. So meditating here would be a strange choice. But... maybe they want the relative isolation?

I still can't find them. Dispite knowing they are there. (That technique does not give false positives.) So I risk rudeness. Figure I can always apologize. Maybe they are deep in meditation or something? Pumping more qi, frankly appalling amounts, into the technique, I am damn near half blind as I walk. (For all that I can see better then anyone in this valley at the moment.)

The sensory input is cacophonous. Beautiful. Terrible. Like balancing atop a single hair thin thread. Suspended carefully, above a raging sea, made of wonderous light and churning pains. I use my foot steps to anchor me. Balanced and even. Yet... find nothing. Pull back.

Are they... hiding?

Why?

Up ahead it the qi rich cave (more an over hang, cave is generous) that I sensed. A good, defensible place to set up.

It's only as I'm setting up? That I notice the little Marsh-a-chus? (Is that a good name? I really do need to start thinking of a good name for them.) Have followed along. Crowd the trees and settle thick in various bushes. And... part of me? Wants to go "away, I made friends!" But...

The rest of me? Was drilled in horror story and horror story by my Shizun. And that's so mighty fine "unusual interest" behavior going on there. Might even go so far as to classify it as hunting behavior!

Mmmmhm! Don't like THAT! No sir! Time for some nice and cozy warding talismans! Shall we? The STRONG ones.

Under far too many beady little eyes, I slap down security talismans. Full three sixty. Against the ground, the stone, the mountain behind me. I am taking no chances. Just as I was taught.

Which... as I am settling in for the night? Dinner done and dishes drying. Sleeping mat, out and reading to go. Light and warmth talismans, positioned just where I need them? Turns out to be for the best.

Because there is something in the dark. Big. Predatory. And coming towards me.

It's not so large as to show above the trees. But that is small comfort. They are fairly large trees. And honestly? I know only too well, massive size does NOT indicate lethality. Sun turtles are mountainous after all, and THEY photosynthesize! The problem is? There wasn't supposed to be a predator that big in this realm.

Did someone fucking shove a spirit beast or monster in here!?

What? Out of sight out of mind?! No longer their problem, right!? Why kill it, when you can put it in a hidden real to LET IT GROW BIGGER! Destroy an ecosystem! MOTHER FUCK-!!!

The night is silent.

It should NOT be.

Gripping a sword I am only kinda decent at wielding, I pray to the gods, I don't have to use it. I am a spiritual cultivator! Not a martial one! This is BULLSHIT. I don't have anything on me for "unknow predatory mega-fauna" because there WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ANY! Oh, this is the LAST time I-!

Foot steps. Crushing through the underbrush.

Into the circle of light my talismans cast, fades a pale young master. Graceful and pale in the moonlight. Very... very pale in the moonlight, actually. No better in the light of my talismans. Near ghostly, in his white silks. Touches of pale gold and stark black. Curls of ink wash grey. Like a painting brought to life.

Just a touch too perfect. A touch too beautiful.

With a grace to his movements that... that is too smooth.

It's not until he all but stands in the light that I am certain. His hair. Too lovely and well kept, for it to be an accident or some sort of shaming. Those are NOT bangs. That is the entirety of it. Nothing held back, in a crown or subtle styling. No... no it is SHORT.

No Human Wears Their Hair SHORT Here.

Entering the light? His eyes reflect. Grey like blades. Like storms and death. No pretty silver things. No, it is far too deep a color. Far too dangerous. Slits, that contract with the light. Half hidden by a heavy expression, that I can not begin to interpret. I desperately try to identify the creature before. Feline? No. Lacks the savage edge. Too cool... serpentine. Snake!

"Like a panicked little mouse, honored cultivator. This one might begin to suspect you weren't happy to see me~" they...? He? Says; his voice a low, honeyed rasp. "But how can that be? When this humble servant has been hunting for so long?"

"Surely, my dear little mouse, has been anticipating this day~! Dreaming of the day when her lord would catch her?"

There is something... mean, in that tone. Vicious and victorious. The silent echo of a madman laugh, as he burns the world to ruin. Seizes and achieves all that he desires. Strangles all that he can not possess. Covetous and ugly. Dancing, dancing, dancing around the edges. Demonic, indeed.

Yet... I do not recognize this creature. This demon. He certainly recognizes me, as horrifying as that is. What past does he speak of? Hunting? What HUNTING?! I try to find something familiar, in this strange form. Unless, of course, he is simple insane? Not impossible... but...

"Ah~ my poor little mouse." The demon coos, mocking in his indulgence. His eyes still dance with laughter. Mad and unable to feast. "You don't recognize this poor servant, do you? How cruel! To be forgotten. A passing fancy, barely held, in my mouse's fickle heart."

He's laughing me. Knows I could not possibly recognize him, yet plans to punish me anyway. Somehow. Fuck! This seems genuine. But how? Why!? When would I have-!?

Then, he shifts.

Gone is the beautiful young man. In his place? Rising, rising, RISING? A behemoth of a bandy-wolf king snake. Black, white, with occasional bare traces of that pale gold on the under belly. Hundreds of thousands the times it ever should have been. But... but? There. A scar. Oh gods.

I recognize him now.

A snake got into the village I was born. Absurdly poisonous, unthinkably venomous, it should have been left alone. Gathered very, VERY carefully and taken far away from people. But... people panic. Get stupid. The adults didn't fucking listen. And over sixteen people died that didn't have too. I was sick at the sight of it. They captured the poor creature and were going to burn it alive.

For the crime of being afraid. Hungry. Getting attacked and then protecting itself.

I couldn't bear it. So... I stole it. Hid it in a cave, half way across the valley. Didn't my best to nurse the poor, injured, creature back to health. At least... I tried. The injuries were too severe. I was able to close the wounds. But sickness, blood loss...

Shit. That cave was incredibly qi rich. It's why I chose it! To make up for what I couldn't do! If he had already started cultivation and then... or just resented enough...

It was entirely possible to become a snake demon. Easily, even.

"Sss Sss Sss, ah, recognition~" the massive creature laughed "Why so fearful? Little mouse~ It's not you I want dead. Kindness for kindness, a debt for a debt. And aren't we be grown? Look how strong we've become!"

The booming, breathy cackle did not fit snake lungs. Silibant and painful. Hissing and near silent. It was more pressure in the air then anything. A madness long coming. As demons born of resentment energy tended to be. All burned villages and the screams of those who wronged them. Hatreds and obsessions made manifest.

I... I could barely breathe. Oh gods. Oh gods! What do I do? I.. I can't-!! Tears threatened to choke me. Fear, shaking my limbs and fogging my mind. W-what do I DO?! I'm scared. No. No, no, NO! Please! I'm SCARED!

"Ah~ so cute, so cute! My little mouse grew so lovely~"

Like the world sighing, as fluid and graceful as his steps, the snake became a man again. His grey tinted lips curled in a fang bearing smile. Hands up and braced against the barrier, his full weight leaning forward as he leered. He loomed. My talismans casting odd shadows across his face, giving the madness in his eyes a terrible glow.

"This husband truely did pick his trap well, didn't he? My sweet little mouse~" he purred, eyes unblinking, above a terrible smile. "My little wife has no where to run~! No where to hide! Her husband has trapped her quite cleverly, hasn't he~? Poor, poor, little mouse. Your husband is so mean!"

My heart felt like it was going to burst. Cold. T-trapped. Can't breathe! Oh gods. Is this a panic attack? I.. I think this is a panic attack! Can't think! Static. Legs, refusing to hold me. Sink. Crawling backwards. Away. G-got to get away! Trapped! TRAPPED!

I horror, I watch as he sinks his nails in to the barrier. Hands no longer resting, but digging into it. He-! He shouldn't be able to DO that! Oh gods! PLEASE gods! Tell me he's not strong enough to BREAK barrier talismans of this level! Please! PLEASE!!

"Ah~ acting this way, you make this husband want to bully you, little wife~♡ And ah, such big, fearful eyes~ Am I being mean? Is husband being cruel? Poor thing~"

CRACK.

In horror, I watch as his nail push through the barrier. Like driving stakes through stone. Cracks shooting from the holes, as he digs and digs. Hands closing around the shards he has created, ignoring the blood that spills from where it cuts into him. As the barrier itself whines and crackles in protect. Tryinging desperately to maintain its integrity. Slowly... cracking... failing...

"Let me kiss it better, hmm? No use in trying to run~"

"So be a good girl~♡ my little Mouse. Come to husband~♡"

[sweetpupii]

cw: dub-con,　fingering,　sev’s mechanic arm vibrates,　 degradation,　 hair pulling, 　 overstimulation,　 cunnilingus (r!giving), no aftercare at all. | 2,3k words, barely proofread I'm sorry.

　coming back to the last drop after a rough deal, five in the goddamn morning, wiping blood that isn't hers off her clothes, a nasty cut on her cheek, thick eyebrows positioned into a nasty frown, a bottle of strong liquor she took from the counter ( even if the bar was open, the bartender would have not stopped her ) on her metallic hand as she went upstairs into silco's office, knocking heavily on the door, ready to speak about how jinx—living up to her name—almost turned the guy who's the usual contact for shimmer distribution into bones and ashes for whatever reason when she wasn't even supposed to be there, is definitely the worst part of sevika's job.

little shit, always getting on her nerves. sevika just wants to smack some sense into that fucked up brain but silco's the only thing that keeps her from doing so.

and of course she had to clean after the bluenette.

after all, you can't attack a trafficker without consequences. an eye for an eye turned quite literal when the man's eye popped because one of the window crystals from jinx's explosion flew right onto it and his men tried to jump at sevika. ‘bit stupid if you ask me…yes, their boss almost died and all but did they really think they could take this woman down with a few weak punches? they lack common sense, apparently.

now the drug dealer has one eye and five men nearly dead.

oh, great, just what she needed—silco is not even in his office. she wants to break something and rip her hair out.

“sevika? didn't see you coming in.” right, sometimes she forgets you come clean the mess the people at the bar make. taking care of the alcohol, the drugs, the shattered glasses, the unknown fluids, etc, that can be found on every corner just so they can do it all again the next day. cleaning up jinx's mess seems like nothing compared to your job. “everyone left already.”

she looks up from the couch to the door where you are standing with a surprisingly warm smile for someone who's working so early in the morning—god knows when your shift even started.

“silco also left like an hour ago, I was hoping I could secretly clean his office because it smells a little… funky.” you laughed gesturing to the mop on your hand before walking into the room, turning your back at sevika while picking up some bright neon, spray painted decoration from the floor to put it on his desk again. focused on getting the job done since she didn't seem in the mood to talk. ( rude but makes sense. )

how is the poor, pent up woman supposed to resist that heaven-sent view?

hand suddenly on your waist as she took one final swing of the strong liquor, pulling you closer even if you gasped and automatically tried to pull away. when did she even get up from the couch? “stay still.” she warned putting the bottle down on his desk to hold your hips more firmly against her front.

“I probably should go clean somewhere—” she could only scoff at your nervous words. yeah, like she'd want you to leave right now when all she needs is someone to pour her stress onto.

“shut up, what did I just say? stay still.”

this woman is one rough motherfucker and that applies to every aspect of her life, as you can tell by how tightly she's gripping at your hips as she moves you to bend over silco's desk. her calloused hand swiping away most of his stuff away, making sure your torso is flush against the wooden—and still dusty—surface, her fingers tangle themselves on your hair to keep your head down.

your legs go just a little weak. but hey, it's just you being tired from cleaning for hours now!

…or maybe it's the wall of pure muscle behind you sliding her mechanic hand under your pants, tracing your panties while she keeps talking.

“been a long fucking night.” her face buried itself on your neck, not even kissing the skin before nibbling on it. why would she? she doesn't owe you any gentleness. her body weight pressing you forward—the action making sure you can feel the cool metal of her fingers. the sharp tips lightly scratching the fabric of your underwear in a way that shouldn't feel this good, especially in the current circumstances but oh, well.

“are you stupid or deaf?” she pulled on your hair a little before pushing your head back down on the desk when she felt your hips moving away from her as soon as her arm made a loud mechanical sound, the rather strong vibration coming right after making you shudder.

you didn't mean to move like that, lifting your hips away from her, but you couldn't help it! the vibration was so out of nowhere it startled you. who's fault is that, hm? definitely sevika's. but I wouldn't say that out loud if I were you—you know, keeping in mind there's still blood that isn't hers on her clothes and body. just saying.

“hey, wait—”

your protests meaning nothing to her as she tugged ( ripped ) your pants and underwear down. “look at that, you whine but you're getting wet?” the most mocking scoff ever coming out of her lips while she pressed her vibrating fingers even more firmly on your now bare clit.

“it's not that much, you're just weak. get over it.”

she's right, it does feel like you're getting weaker by the second. the feeling getting more overwhelming as she gets meaner. “never thought of quitting? cleaning is definitely not your job, the brothel would work way better.” she's infuriatingly good at talking though, it's annoying.

“i mean, look at you. I'm sure people would pay more to see this ass than what silco does for you to clean his shit.” she squeezed one cheek to emphasize her own point, giving a slap to watch it jiggle, her lower lip caught with her teeth at the sight. she could get used to it, actually.

“there we go, see? wasn't so hard to keep quiet.” her fingers are no longer cold, now sticky and warm from your body heat—body heat she proudly increased by the way—while her hand starts to move back and forth to cause more sensations, moans and trembles.

you feel like it's too much? oh, baby, she hasn't done anything yet!

you realize she's actually doing something when you notice her sliding two thick fingers—lucky for you, real ones instead of the sharp prosthetics—stretching you out without a single warning as the vibration on your clit does not cease at all.

the wet sounds combined with the slap of skin and buzzing coming from in between your legs absolutely obscene in a way that's fucking humiliating. god, you shouldn't be this horny for a woman that treats you like a hooker she found in an alley but it would be a terrible lie if you said it didn't make your lower belly burn and tingle in a way you've felt before, but definitely not with that intensity.

her scent—blood, sweat, and that funky, smoky tang that always clings to her—feels pretty intoxicating, to the point it's impossible to think straight.

you bit your lip, frustrated at the way your own body seems to betray you with the moans you fail to hold back. no amount of deep breaths able to help you. the mixture of pleasure and pain seems to blur together, forcing an embarrassingly whiny whimper to escape before you can even stop it.

“what's wrong?” sevika murmurs with a mocking chuckle, her fingers curling just right, pressing against your g-spot as if she knew your body better than you and honestly with the amount of experience she has, she might as well. “guess you like being treated like a common whore, huh, is that it?”

heat goes straight to your cheeks and down yourq back at her words, and yet again your body completely ignores your internal struggles, hips rocking against her hand despite your best efforts to stay still. she noticed, of course she did, using that to give a punishing thrust that suddenly feels way too deep.

“yeah, that's what I thought,” she scoffed, voice dripping with disdain, but her movements became more purposeful. her metallic fingers pressed firmly against your clit with no mercy, the vibrations and the movements had you clutching at the edge of the desk.

“look at you,” sevika muttered, more to herself than you, as if fascinated by the way your body responds to her rough thrusts. “maybe I'll keep you here, bent over silco's desk, let him walk in and see what a filthy slut you are.”

the thought sent a jolt of humiliation and twisted excitement through you, and sevika definitely feels it, her lips turn into the most asshol-smirk you've ever seen ( if you were able to ), and she speeds up, the wet, obscene sounds of her fingers working you echoing in the small office.

"go on," she said, "are you gonna keep pretending you don't like it?"

sevika doesn't even think about slowing down as she felt the way your walls squeezed her tight enough to earn a small groan from her—your moans being her motivation to keep going through your orgasm—drawing every last tremor from your body until you're left breathless and boneless, slumped over the desk.

she finally pulled out after god knows how long, her fingers sticky and wet from your fluids. sevika raised them to her lips, absolutely shameless, eyes locked on yours as she licked the digits clean with a deliberate, slow drag of her tongue, enjoying the dazed expression on your pretty face while you panted.

“come on, to the floor.” oh, lord, she's still going?

she sat on the couch, pants lowered to her ankles before you could even register her words. shaky legs doing the best they can when you kneeled down in between her thighs. so tired that taking a nap on ‘em seems like the best idea ever, but you can't do that now—not when she's already manspread there, waiting with a cigar on her lips ( probably stole it from silco's desk or something, everything’s happening way to quick for your brain to comprehend ) while casually lighting it up like she didn't just rearrange your guts with her fingers.

free hand wrapping around your hair again, this time guiding your face to her lower abdomen, soft lips pressed on the happy trail that decorated her sweaty skin in a way that now felt sinfully good. “open.”

how could you say no when she's looking down at you like that, making you eat her out as she exhales the heavy smoke?

a low groan, almost imperceptible to your ears covered by her thighs, comes out of her when she finally feels your mouth trail down and down and down, her legs spreading further so you can taste her better.

the scent of her mixed with the smell of cigar was all you could notice. her grip on your hair tightens, not enough to truly hurt, but enough to remind you where you are. half naked, wet and sticky inner thighs, now a sticky mouth, kneeling down on some floor you were supposed to be cleaning while eating the pussy of a 185cm tall woman who disfigured a group of men a few hours ago.

almost in a trance, your lips part, tongue darting out to give her a tentative lick. the taste is overwhelming, consuming your senses until nearly all you can focus on is the feel of sevika,the taste of sevika, the scent of sevika. “that’s it, knew you were playing dumb.” huh, who would've thought you'd be doing this and liking it?

your tongue took another swipe at her dripping slit, this time lingering longer, trying to get deeper. a husky moan from her motivating you to keep going.

at the light twitch on her hips, you vary your technique—going from licking long stripes up and down to swirling your tongue around her already sensitive clit, before dragging it lower to spear into her weeping entrance. the sound of her breathing turns ragged as you lost yourself in the act of pleasing her, of tasting her, of being the cause of such raw feelings.

her hips start to move, grinding her achingly greedy cunt against your face, you grabbed at the tensing muscles on her thighs for support meanwhile she basically used your face like a toy for her own pleasure. not caring if you can breath or not. smearing your lips and chin with her own fluids just like you did with her hand. ( was it revenge? probably not since it's a win-win situation for sevika. )

lost in a haze of sensations, you barely register the heavy, strong hand pressing down on the back of your head, holding you in place—forcing you to feel every clench and twitch. the world narrows down to the taste of her, the scent of her, the feel of her, until you can barely recall why you ever resisted the idea of doing what she says.

oh?

oh.

she did not just come, make you lick all of it and then push you away. ( she absolutely just did, the motherfucker. )

“okay, that's it, enough.” the fucking audacity to get up, fix her pants and just leave you there, sat on the cold floor as if you were a simple stray dog who got its five minutes of petting from a stranger. “clean up the mess you made.”

“hold on—”

she just left without even listening?! great, now you're stuck having clean a messy desk, pick up the paperwork from the floor, your own panties and pants and having to get rid of the wet, creamy stain on silco's couch that apparently ‘you’ made as if it wasn't sevika's cum.

what a rollercoaster of a night.

masterlist

[konjiang]

Cumplane AU slightly nsfw? Finger kink?

SQH crashed at SY place because his internet went out.

SY watched as SQH rapidly typed while munching on some seeds. No matter how many times he saw it, he will always be shocked at the sheer speed SQH completes writing assignments. He watched as those fingers curled and stretched across the keyboard while pressing all the right letters.

'What else can those fingers do...' SY snapped his eyes back to his own laptop, trying to forget whatever dumbass thoughts he got when he was around SQH.

SY couldn't focus on any of the words on his screen. He had to reread the page over again when he saw the way SQH sat up and stretched.

"Cucumber-Bro," SQH said as he smiled at SY, "I'm done. Do you want to do anything?" SQH started moving and rolling his hand and wrist.

'Do anything...what about me-' SY mind was wandering again, and he needed to focus before he let's SQH control his mind again. They are just two bro sitting 5 ft apart because he's not gay!

"You think everyone can type like that? Stop bothering me and go do something else." SY needed SQH to be away from him before he says or does anything weird.

"Alright, alright, you are such an asshole sometimes." SQH pouted as he grabbed a couple dessert from the pantry.

"Hey! Why are you eating my food?" SY watched as SQH opened a bag of veggie straws.

"Bro, I'm hungry, and you're rich. Here, I'll feed you." SQH declared as he shoved a veggie straw in SY face, giving SY direct access to those fingers. He carefully bit the straw and avoided SQH's hand. Soon, they got into a rhythm, where SY would open his mouth, and SQH would feed him. It was still hard to focus, but SY was proud of himself for getting some work done. He opened his mouth and closed it when he felt something else in his mouth. This time, when he bit down, his lips surrounded half of SQH's index finger.

SY was panicking, 'WTF WTF WTF', but he didn't release SQH's finger.

"Uhmm, bro? Can I have my finger back? Should I be scared that you acquired a taste for human flesh?" SQH teased and wiggled his finger a little, causing SY's face to burn up. He couldn't let SQH have the last word in any conversation.

"No." SY said as he grabbed SQH's wrist and doubled down, biting and sucking SQH's finger. He had expected a shriek or noises of disgust, but instead, SQH sticked another finger in SY's mouth.

This was going somewhere, and SY had no idea how to steer it back to normal. How could he when SQH's finger touches and pulls at his tongue. SQH leaned in closer, and SY could see that his face was also turning red.

"Shen Yuan..." SQH whispered as he gently placed his other hand on SY's face. He removed his fingers from SY's mouth. SY couldn't stop himself before he whined at the loss. However, his mind was now occupied by how close SQH face was. If he leaned a little more, their lips would be touching.

SY tilted his face into SQH's palm, and in turn, SQH caressed SY's face with his thumb. SY watched as SQH moved closer but made no moves to stop him. Their nose touch against each other, and SY could feel SQH's breath on his lips. SQH tilted his head and-- do nothing because SQH's phone rang, pulling them out of this weird tension.

'What were we about to do!' SY mind replayed every moment of their interaction and tried to come up with a logic conclusion. He can vaguely hear SQH talking in the background.

"Okay, okay, thank you. Bye. " SQH hung up, and they just both awkwardly stared at each other.

"Uhm, my internet got fixed."

"Oh," Shen Yuan said mindlessly.

"I should go..." SQH stood up, intending to gather his stuff, but he was stopped by SY grabbing his wrist and yanking him back down. SY could not leave this unresolved, or else SQH would get the wrong idea. He opened his mouth, wanting to spit out some excuses, but instead...

"Where do you think you're going? I haven't had a chance to taste human flesh yet."

[zippyskyfalls]

Ruthlessness: Google Translate edition

☆○------------🐚------------○☆

frame

frame

frame

frame

frame

frame

make rich

... Pip.

With the year

I'm not angry (roll credits)

I try to shit on shoes

But dangerous, I left

I am very good

But he killed my child and

It's right

You are blind ... I

Are you here?

I will not leave an election

valuable

I think nolf's view of nolf is equal to zero

I have to have my blood!

You should see how they steal!

But before I go, I have to learn how to learn.

Love is good but

Love is good but

US

It's expensive

Because you are. Although. Special.

Think of, the Greek forget the judgment

I hate it!

While a company hides your soul but does not take people with you, it will not work

I think if you kill my child, it can be perfect!

No

You are beautiful (there are other ways ahh)

Privilege

The last stone of the chorus is now broken by snow!

Say your name

Again again

You are bad when I'm lucky

Love is good but

Love is good but

US

The time has come

Do you die today?

If you apologize for my son's pain and buses

FALLAM is not broken.

We returned him the weapon.

We do not like his concern

We want to be ...

...In the middle of the line.

Hey, I hope we hope.

Next to your heart.

The world is dark.

(Best work ...)

Basic lesson.

*epic background music with men dying*

... What are you doing?

(If there is a northern part of the northern recording?)

40 They left their command.

(When will the monster be?)

I am a dark period ...

The monster is around!

... Do you have a password?

ALL I NEED TO DO IS OPEN THIS BAG

I WORK!? ; ;

Remember me ...

[batheir]

“well, i’m boring like that too. i prefer cafes and bakeries over bars. why not? bakeries have coffee— espresso and muffins, bars have…” taking one look around, “cigarette stench and greasy armpits.” nose scrunches slightly as she covers her nose to the irritating STENCH that makes her sinuses feel disturbed, she’d finally happily agree she’s being stuck up. “but tonight’s the exception, i needed this as a distraction.” reassuring she’s enjoying being out of her element to forget the idea of harry. right as she’s saying she needed to be out of her element ALEX is saying he’s out of his that causes her to look up in surprise . . . as if he’s reading her mind. how can they be so alike at times then completely opposite? “i guess when you said i needed to screw harry, harry needed to screw someone else.” hating it makes her re-upset at him all over again for saying that to her. “the flavor is repulsive. only people that are that desperate for a buzz actually like it.” mumbling as she’s digging around in the first aid, seeing her bow land on the table and his hand touch her face again. “hey! your fingers are cold and— my bow!” not realizing it was about to fall out. “i’m just…” shrugging one shoulder, emotions clouding her gaze as she lightly taps the cut on his lip, keeping her eyes glued there. “good to everyone, no matter what. that’s just the way i am. the way i believe.” unfortunately. but at least she has her guard up, she won’t be letting him in just because she’s showing this act of kindness now. she can still be the bigger person, without letting him in. “if i want to be a doctor, i can’t be choosy who my patients are.” raven haired girl teases, even if there’s truth to that. “that should keep it from getting infected, help cut the healing time down.” a small smile before she turns to wipe her hands on a napkin, now shifting to opening her makeup box, grimacing at what a pennywise sister’s look she does have going on. she’ll start with a makeup wipe, getting rid of the mascara down her cheeks, cleaning that up then her smeared lipstick. cleaning it all the way so she can just restart reapplying with red lip liner then filling it in with dior’s red lipstick.

alex doesn’t elaborate any further on his feelings,  but doesn’t completely barricade his heart either this time.   they’ve been through hell and back together tonight.   he’s put her through hell…   he can’t keep going like this,  doesn’t have the energy for it.   a small smile breaks across his features at the explanation,  his elbow gently bumping against her side as he teases,   “and there i was,  thinking it was meant for harry’s face.”   war and peace worked wonders,  though.   over a thousand pages and hardcover?   he wouldn’t be surprised if that big nose of his was broken,  after all.   “same.   i don’t find bars particularly interesting or stimulating so i always bring a book,”   he explains shyly,  seeing helena’s reaction and how it matches his own,  and feeling a sense of togetherness once more.   there’s a faint connection rekindling,  and it frightens him in a way.   he doesn’t deserve her.   he shouldn’t be feeling like this.   “i prefer cafes and bakeries over bars and clubs.   i’m boring like that.”   it’s something sarah said to him a while back,  and he can’t help but agree —   he isn’t the life of the party.

“well,  i feel very out of my element right now.   don’t look towards the pool table.   strange things happening over there,”   he laughs softly,  for the first time since they left the ice skating rink.   a look of surprise overtaking his features when she decides to trust him and takes his hand,  lengthy fingers curling around her own,  squeezing gently,  apologetically.   their surroundings are…   eerie,  to say the least.   and there’s so much cigarette smoke in the air that alex can barely breathe without coughing,  but he smiles at helena all the same.   “the only thing that actually does look great here,  and it tastes good,  too.”   he takes another sip,  letting the sweet,  fruity beverage linger a little longer on his tongue before swallowing.   he didn’t think it could be this delicious,  not in a place that looks like a drug den.   “i always say that virgin drinks taste way better than the spiked ones.   i mean,  who genuinely likes the taste of vodka or tequila or something?   gross.”   he grimaces,  licking some of the sugar off the rim.   

by the time he sets the glass back on the bar,  half of its contents is gone,  and his eyes are focused solely on helena.   watching with sheer fascination as she rummages through her kits and offering,   “can i help you take care of that cut?”   he reaches a hesitant hand out,  tucking the strands of hair that got pulled out of her braid behind her ear.   the bow is barely hanging on and so he carefully removes and places it on the counter in front of her.   “what’s that?”   he wonders,  taken aback by her kindness,  shaking his head because he feels like he doesn’t deserve it but turning to face her at the same time.   there are tears in his eyes again,  and if she asks,  he’ll blame them on the smoke but it’s just…   these little acts of kindness make his heart beat differently.   “why are you so good to me?”   he whispers,  pouting to expose the cut to her fingers.   “you know,  this is technically the second time you’re tending to my injuries.   hopefully,  there won’t be a third.”

[anomaly-076]

The specific color of the envelope immediately leaves little to no space to guess who the sender is. And sure enough, the letter reads:

'Hey Y/N, I have an R&R for Valentine's so if you maybe want to go on a walk or something(maybe even a date, haha), we can :) - Haku ♥'

With Haku it's hard to tell whether he is flirting or not, and in a similar mood also went your planning interaction. There are only so much winks and flirty remarks one can make before it really turns into a date instead of two friends going out together.

In the end the two of you have decided to visit one of Tokyo's parks that you haven't been to, but wanted to.

As you're getting ready a message from Haku pops up: 'Y/N, I'll be a little bit late than agreed on. Subaru needs some help with paperwork that Moby dumped on him last second.'

You can't help but sigh and roll your eyes. Not as Haku, but at the professor. He always does this.

Sadly, you're already fully prepared and ready to go, so the thought of taking some of your layers of again, only to put them on again makes you annoyed. Maybe you can just go to Hotarubi to wait for Haku to finish there.

As you walk through the campus, you notice a lot of paired students doing various activities that couples usually do. Holding hands, giving gifts or shyly kissing each other on the cheek. It makes you smile for some reason. The season of love.

Then you think back to Haku. Will people pass you by and assume that you're also a couple? Will the sight of you having fun together bring a smile on someone's face?

When you finally reach the expansive grounds of Hotarubi, you note that it's raining harder than usual, to the point where you're uncomfortably wet by the time you finally reach the main building. For some reason you always forget to bring and umbrella.

Quietly searching the halls for your date, a message startles you, but before you're able to read it, two warm hands cover your eyes. You don't need to guess twice to guess whose mischievous chuckle fans your ear.

"Quite eager to see me, aren't you?" Haku smiles as he steps in front of you.

"I thought I'd come here to wait for you since you were busy and I was already fully dressed up." you awkwardly answer since you're not entirely sure how to respond to his flirtatious tone.

"And you still forgot to bring an umbrella so you're now soaked through." his mismatched eyes scan your unknowingly shivering form.

"I-uh... Yeah..." for some reason you feel guilty and your eyes look for something else than Haku's face to look at.

"Oh well. Guess we're gonna have to spend today in my room instead. I'm not letting you catch a cold." he winks and shrugs, holding his hand out for you to take it so he can guide you to his bedroom.

[epickiya722]

I'm gonna be frank, I don't think I'll be understood here on my stance (especially since I'm just not good with my words) and I know some of you isn't going to agree with me. That's fine. I'm okay with different perspectives.

I'll be honest, 431 isn't the most well written epilogue and yes, I don't particularly like it.

But it wasn't the only thing that made me irritated. It was just the tipping point of "You know what, I kind of had it".

The writing definitely didn't do Midoriya justice, neither for Uraraka and Toga. But let's not act like Bakugou had great writing there either because for me, him asking Midoriya to work at his agency didn't feel like Bakugou to me.

Over the story, we see that Bakugou had grown to be more open towards Midoriya. So why did he go about skirting around to ask Midoriya about the agency, let alone ask him at all? And in front of Kirishima who had to act like a translator? So you're telling me Katsuki Bakugou who has freely been straight forward, after learning to be because sometimes Midoriya does need people to be blunt, before couldn't have a conversation with Midoriya about working at the agency?

You're telling me Bakugou couldn't have a discussion with Midoriya like "hey, can I talk to you" and they go from there to having coming to an agreement of sorts?

All that development of their relationship getting better that they could confine in each other that Bakugou and Midoriya couldn't have a scene where they sat down at a restaurant or somewhere, just them and discuss the agency?

No, that had to be sprung up and hinted at Midoriya in a car with Kirishima present? Before they met with their friends?

Maybe it's just me, totally just me, but I don't think Bakugou would have went about it like that. I would have figured that Bakugou would have asked Midoriya to meet with him and together they would have a proper discussion. Like by then, those two would have learned better communication.

Even before Kirishima had to say anything, Midoriya voiced that he enjoyed being a teacher and still thankful that he has a hero suit thanks to everyone.

Actual Bakugou, at least not my Bakugou. wouldn't be framed totally butthurt by Midoriya wanting to still be a teacher. Not when they know can still be heroes and rivals and whatever else together. Bakugou wouldn't let Midoriya being a teacher and not working at his agency keep him awake at night like "can't believe he rejected me, can't believe he rejected me".

Heck, I doubt he would have even brought up an agency in the first place because what mattered to him was that he and Midoriya were heroes together.

If their teachers were able to do it, them why Bakugou would even question Midoriya about still teaching?

So Midoriya isn't the only one at fault here and he's not the only character done dirty. Bakugou didn't have perfect writing here either to me.

But I feel like some people are stuck on "Midoriya betrayed Bakugou" that maybe that's the part not being caught on. That frustration towards Midoriya is blocking from seeing Bakugou was not written well in this chapter.

I wouldn't even say either are at fault here, the chapter just wasn't that good. We had some highlights but it just wasn't the best epilogue and as much as I know a lot of people want to blame Horikoshi since it is his manga, let's not forget who he works for. I don't know the man, but we all have seen what any kind of entertainment industry will do when it comes to any kind of media.

And again, it's not just the writing of the chapter that rubbed me the wrong way. Sure, some bits I could try to make sense of it, even if I don't like it (frankly, something I think should be learned).

But again, as I have said it multiple times before, it was indeed the fandom's reaction to Midoriya and just Midoriya that irked me to the point.

And here's the thing... IT ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS EVEN BEFORE THE EPILOGUE.

Like, no, epilogue sucks or whatever, but now I feel like it's just being used as an excuse to further hate on Midoriya more.

Every other character had gotten some kind of "Oh, they got done dirty" by the fandom, but no, not Midoriya. I saw quite a few people framing him as the bad guy when he is also a victim of flawed writing, too!

Even if admitting he too had flawed writing, he still gets hate for it while other characters are felt sorry for.

But even, again, before that the fandom had shown me how much they don't care about him at all. I would say it's always been evident from the start.

Haters, supposed fans... it doesn't matter.

No, I don't expect everyone to like him or see him the same way.

What frustrates me is that some people act like they don't do Midoriya dirty, too, whether you like or not and it's not always the fault of the narrative. The narrative could be flawless and some of you would still hate him for whatever reason or twist him to fit how you want to see him.

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🦖'Cause you, you're my everything

Title from Good to Me (SEVENTEEN)

Summary: Dino seems to be having a migraine though he never has had one before. The members are worried and it gets worse before it gets better.

CW: emeto, migraines, seizures, hospitals and hospital procedures

Sickie: Chan/Dino Caretakers: Wonwoo, Joshua, Jeonghan, Seungcheol (+ others)

Wonwoo ran his hand through his hair as he power-walked through the company halls. He wasn’t having the easiest day - somehow his schedule was incredibly long and there was no real break into later that evening. He loved being busy of course, otherwise he never could have made it as an idol but for the moment he just wished for a bit of space to breathe. He hoped that Seungcheol would go easy on them in the upcoming Hip-Hop Team meeting despite them nearing a deadline and not having as much finished as they probably should have.

He entered the room, Seungcheol already sitting at his laptop while Vernon and Mingyu were snacking on some dried fruits. 

“There you are”, Seungcheol said, looking up. “We were wondering if you got lost in the halls on the way here.”

“Funny, hyung”, Wonwoo replied, plopping down next to Vernon and stealing the distracted maknae’s strawberry he was holding.

“Hyung”, Vernon whined, pouting but just reached into the bag again.

“Sorry, my schedule is just crazy today”, Wonwoo apologized, “I literally had to beg manager-hyung for a break so I could pee earlier before we left the photoshoot.”

Mingyu snickered and Wonwoo was very tempted to throw the strawberry at his head but he refrained just on principle of not wasting food. Instead he rolled his eyes and said: “Well, let’s …”

At that moment his phone rang and he glanced at the caller ID. To his surprise it was Dino. Wasn’t the maknae scheduled to have solo dance practice today? What could he want?

“Sorry, it’s Channie”, Wonwoo said, “I want to see what is up.”

He accepted the call. 

"Hyung?", the maknae’s familiar voice came through the speakers, though unusually quiet.

"Hey, Channie, what is going on?", he asked, stealing another dried fruit from Vernon.

"Where are you?", Dino asked in return.

"Hip-Hop team meeting", Wonwoo replied, confused. He thought Dino knew that, considering they always had meetings on Tuesdays. “Is something the matter?"

"No, it's, uh, it’s fine. Yeah, right, the meeting. I'm having a pretty bad headache, but I'll call somebody else to drive me home. Don’t worry." Wonwoo’s heart clenched at the shaky, stuttering voice of his favorite dongsaeng.

"Where are you?", the rapper inquired. Dino very likely wasn’t in the practice rooms if he wasn’t feeling well, especially if he was feeling so bad he asked to go home.

"Practice room bathroom. Spend the last half hour puking my guts out", Dino sighed.

Wonwoo echoed the sentiment, feeling worry rise. Clearly their youngest was truly not feeling well. But nevertheless, the Hip-Hop team meeting was important and they were thirteen people after all…

"I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Can you try to find somebody else to drive you home? I am so sorry, really. Call me again, if you find nobody else to drive you home, okay?"

"Yeah."

They disconnected the call and Wonwoo looked up at three worried faces. “Channie isn’t feeling well. I hope he finds somebody else to drive him home. Otherwise we might need to reschedule the meeting.”

Seungcheol nodded, eyes full of concern. Soon Wonwoo found himself swamped with the workload, practically forgetting about their conversation.

 💎

Dino, meanwhile, leaned against the bathroom wall. His head was aching, neck muscles sore from tension. He closed his eyes against the bright light. There were motion sensors in the bathroom and he knew he couldn’t stay in this brightly lit room. Little stars were dotting his vision. 

With both hands bracing the wall he carefully stood up, trying to keep his balance. He lifted his backpack on his back, nearly crying from the pain it caused in his neck.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the stall door, again blinking against the bright light, fighting terrible nausea for a moment. Then he stumbled to an empty meeting room, leaving the lights off. It didn’t help much, he still felt awful. 

Dino knew he needed somebody to drive him home. In his wish for his favourite hyung he had totally forgotten about the Hip-Hop meeting. But that meant that next to Wonwoo, Seungcheol, Mingyu and Vernon were out too.

He scrolled through his contacts, contemplating his options. Jun and Minghao were in China. Jeonghan was on a solo schedule. Woozi was likely busy in the studio and he didn’t have a driver's license anyways. Seungkwan would nag too much. He loved Hoshi but he knew he would probably puke in the car considering how his hyung drove. Jeonghan was visiting his parents. So it only left Joshua - not that Dino minded. He loved his gentle hyung and he craved his soft voice if he was honest.

 💎

Fifteen minutes later Joshua knelt down before him and smiled. 

"Hey, let's get you home, maknae", he said and gently helped the dancer to his feet. Once he was sitting in the overly hot car - at this moment Dino decided he hated summer - he shut his eyes and leaned back against the backrest.

"Sorry, baby, the AC seems to be broken", Joshua said apologetically as he put the car in drive. “I meant to get it fixed but we were so busy, you know how it is…”

 Dino didn't answer him, drifting between sleep and wakefulness in the twenty minute drive. He was very glad when they arrived at the apartment, the motion and the heat making him steadily nauseous. The elevator ride up to the apartments - okay, Joshua was taking him to the apartment Dino shared with Jun, DK and Vernon - was nauseating and Dino felt himself break out in cold sweat.

Once Joshua had opened the front door for him - Dino’s own hands were too shaky and his vision too bad to enter the keycode -, he bolted to the bathroom. He retched pitifully as the pain in his head exploded even more. It was probably the worst pain he had ever felt and he felt so dizzy. His mouth tasted awful, he could barely breathe between waves of vomit coming up and his head pounded in time with his heartbeat. Even his ears ached. 

When what was probably minutes but felt like hours was over he noticed a delicate hand on his back, rubbing comforting circles onto his back. Another hand landed on his shoulder and only then did Dino realise he had slowly started tilting to the side. He groaned and resisted the urge to rest his head against the toilet seat.

"You wanna lay down, baby?", Joshua asked worriedly. 

He nodded, well he tried to, but his muscles seized up so badly he let out a very undignified pained grunt. It got the message across anyways and the older man carefully helped him to his feet for the second time that day.

He led him to his bedroom, as he kept his eyes firmly shut, and sat him on his bed. While he struggled out of his sweatpants and shirt, Joshua efficiently pulled the curtains shut. They didn’t black out all the lights sadly. At this moment Dino wished for the blackout curtains they had all chipped in to buy for both Joshua and Woozi for their migraine attacks. If his hyungs only felt a fraction as bad as Dino did at that moment he pitied them. He didn’t know how they survived pain like this on a regular basis and he didn’t even know if it was a migraine he was having but rather a bad headache? After all, normally he didn’t get migraines. 

Once the room was as dark as possible he dared to open his eyes, looking up at Joshua. Due to the darkness and his squinty vision he wasn't really able to see him, only barely being able to make out his silhouette. 

"Thank you, hyung", he breathed.

"Sleep", Joshua replied and gently moved him so that he was laying on his back. "I'll put a bucket on the floor in case you need to be sick again and be in the living room if you need something. You’ll probably want some quiet."

Dino closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.

 💎

To say that Seokmin was surprised when he found Joshua eating his cereal in his kitchen was an understatement.

His hyung chuckled at his expression. "Close your mouth or you might catch flies", he said.

"Uhm, well, not that I don't like your company, hyung. But why are you sitting in my kitchen? And why are you eating my cereal?”, Seokmin asked and walked across the kitchen and grabbed a spoon.

"Dino has a migraine, I think. I mean, he never had one before but he looked as pitiful as Jihoonie does during his attacks. It’s a pretty bad headache if not. So yeah, I drove him home from the company and decided to stick around should he need something. And I was hungry and I'm not gonna eat Hansollie's stupid healthy stuff."

"Fair enough. How is Channie?"

"Asleep, last I checked. He's been throwing up on and off. Couldn’t even keep the pain meds down."

Seokmin sat down across from her and used his spoon to eat the cereal with her. It was his after all. Joshua just fondly rolled his eyes and pushed the bowl closer.

 💎

“I should probably check on him again”, Joshua said once the cereal was eaten. “You should probably stay here. I know you aren’t the biggest fan of puke.”

He found their maknae tangled in his blankets, his forehead sweaty and creased in pain. His eyes opened when they stepped in.

Joshua sat down next to the maknae and brushed a hand through his soaked bangs. 

"You're really warm, baby", Joshua mumbled, feeling worried. The maknae was getting worse and worse. "I'll get a thermometer, take your temperature and then you should go back to sleep, okay?"

Dino didn't answer, but when Joshua returned he had shifted a bit, the heating pad he had asked for earlier to relax his tense muscles visible under his neck. After putting a plastic cap onto the tip of the thermometer, Joshua carefully slipped it under Dino’s tongue. The beeping sound made Dino whimper and Joshua tenderly carded his hand through his friend’s hair. 

"Sleep", Joshua mumbled and pressed a feather-light kiss on Dino's sweaty forehead before he left the room and returned to the kitchen.

He studied the thermometer and frowned at the reading of 39.5 degrees. "Not good?", Seokmin asked, peering over his shoulder. "Oh, poor baby."

“I’ll bring him an ice pack”, Joshua decided, “and take the heating pad. Even if it helps the pain it’s just making his fever rise. He’ll feel even worse then. I just wished he could have kept down the medication I tried to give him earlier.”

 💎

Three hours later, nearly all members were sitting in the living room. Joshua wasn’t sure how that had happened. When he checked his phone he realised that Wonwoo asked about the maknae in the group chat (maybe Joshua should check his phone more often after all) and Seokmin had answered and now everybody was worried. Jun and Minghao had even jokingly asked if they should book flights back to Korea - though Joshua wasn’t sure how much they were actually joking. 

So now Hoshi, Seungkwan, Seokmin and Joshua sat in the living room. Even Woozi had come out of the studio - a bit embarrassed by his rushing to the maknae’s side but defending his normally tsundere approach to life with knowing bad headaches could be. Jeonghan on the other hand had immediately slipped into Dino’s bedroom, never one to stray far from his hurting kids.

Blessedly all of them were more or less used to migraines and so very quiet when they talked. They had put on a movie that was playing silently in the background, while most of them were working on something or playing on their phones.

They all looked up, as Dino's door opened and their maknae stumbled into the hallway, leaning heavily on Jeonghan.

"How are you feeling?", Joshua asked quietly, from where he was curled up on the couch.

"Urgh", Dino mumbled, but smiled weakly at them. He let Jeonghan move him to the couch, which Woozi and Hoshi had vacated as soon as Dino had appeared. He sank down gratefully and cuddled up to his hyung immediately. Seokmin handed Jeonghan the thermometer who coaxed Dino to open his mouth to take his temperature.

"39.6", Jeonghan read with a frown, "that's not better." 

Woozi returned from the kitchen with a glass of water which he held to Dino's lips, knowing very well that the maknae would be too shaky to hold it himself.

 💎

Dino drank slowly, likely aware that anything could upset his stomach again. The headache was barely better, but he didn't feel like he was going to throw up any second anymore. With a sigh he leaned back against Jeonghan and closed his eyes.

"Yeez, no wonder your head hurts, your muscles are basically rocks", Jeonghan commented as he rubbed Dino’s shoulder. The maknae cursed in pain, as Jeonghan put pressure on his neck, uncaring that his hyung was … well, his hyung. 

"Hands off", he mumbled, "hurts." 

He noticed Jeonghan and Joshua exchanging a glance - probably because normally Dino enjoyed getting massages a lot and would often pester his members for one if he felt like it. RIght ow, he didn’t feel like it. His muscles hurt so much he didn’t think a massage would fix it.

“Stop thinking, let me sleep”, he grumbled and let himself drift off into a light sleep.

However, barely ten minutes later he jolted out of his sleep, stomach tossing and turning. He quickly sat up, but it was too late. Leaning over he retched and threw up the water ... all over Jeonghan. The older, to his credit, just helped Dino lean over further, so that the rest of the sick landed on the floor. Dino was shaking all over and he could barely muster the strength to move back upright, his body so stiff it felt impossible.

He could feel the other gazing at him, probably worried, but Dino wouldn’t care about them. There was vomit all over Jeonghan and the couch and his mouth tasted like dead animal. 

When he was finally done, Dino leaned back against the couch cushions. Only then did realisation hit. He stared in horror at Jeonghan, who just raised his eyebrow and said dryly: "Thank you for sharing that with us."

"Aish, hyung, I'm so sorry." Dino was mortified but Jeonghan just squeezed his arm. 

"It’s not the first time one of you kids threw up on me, love. It's not your fault that I forgot the bucket in your room." 

 💎

Clean up was just done, when the door opened, admitting the Hip-Hop team. Immediately Wonwoo jogged over to Dino who was dozing on Hoshi’s lap.

"How are you feeling?", Wonwoo asked quietly, gently stroking the bangs away from Dino' forehead.

"Head really hurts, hyung”, Dino whimpered. “Still really nauseous too.”

"I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier, kiddo. Do you need anything?"

Dino smiled crookedly, feeling a bit embarrassed. But his bladder had demanded attention for a while and he could no longer ignore it. "I need to use the bathroom. Help me walk over there?"

Wonwoo nodded and lifted Dino to his feet slowly. Once youngest seemed reasonably steady he helped him walk the short distance.

"Remember, don't...", Wonwoo started.

"...lock the door, sit down if I feel dizzy and call if I need anything, I know, hyung”, Dino repeated the words he had heard Seungcheol drill into Joshua and Woozi when they had migraines ever since Woozi had collapsed in the bathroom and it had taken Mingyu’s and Seungcheol’s combined strength to force the door open. 

 💎

A few minutes later the maknae returned, still looking pale and he let Wonwoo lead him back to the couch without any fuss. 

But then he looked up at the flashing police lights from the movie that was playing and froze. Wonwoo looked down at his dongsaeng and quickly grasped Dino tighter as the younger man's knees gave out under him. With a surprised shout that alerted their friends, he lowered Dino to the floor.

He could only stare in shock as every one of Dino' muscles tensed and then … then Dino was seizing.

It suddenly didn't matter how long Seungcheol had been on his feet that day apparently (even though he had complained all the way back to the apartment), as he was the first on his knees next to Dino. 

Quickly the leader turned the seizing maknae on his side. Wonwoo was only able to stare at what was happening in front of his feet. His dongsaeng, his Channie, was jerking in unrealistic ways that frightened him to the bone. It was the first seizure Wonwoo ever witnessed and he had never once imagined it to be as awful as it looked.

"Wonwoo-yah, let’s take a step back", Jeonghan said, suddenly next to him, his own voice trembling, "Cheollie and Jihoonie are helping him and Soonyoungie is on the phone with the emergency services." 

Numbly Wonwoo watched how Seungcheol and Woozi tried to help the maknae, placing pillows against the walls. Hoshi indeed seemed to be on the phone and Seungkwan was staring at his wristwatch. Maybe he was timing the seizure. He couldn’t spot Vernon, Mingyu and Seokmin. 

The next time Wonwoo was aware, paramedics (when had they arrived?) lifted Dino on a stretcher, exchanging quick words with Seungcheol which Wonwoo's muddled brain couldn't make sense of, the leader crying.

Then Jeonghan was kneeling in front of him, no trace of Dino and Seungcheol to be seen. His mouth felt dry, his whole body was numb. He could see Jeonghan's mouth moving, but he didn't hear anything he said. Then Joshua was kneeling next to Jeonghan, his face worried, but a tiny smile on his lips. He looked up and saw all of his friends, except for Seungcheol and Dino and ... oh god, what was happening?

There wasn't enough air in the room, how could the others not notice it? Wonwoo clutched at his throat, trying to keep his turtleneck pullover from choking him any further. He whimpered and then arms were thrown around him and then at last could breathe in a familiar smell. Tears were leaking uncontrollably from his eyes but he clutched Mingyu tighter, pressing his face in his best friend’s shirt. Then sound came back and he was aware of somebody crying and whimpering, but even more so of Mingyu whispering soothing nothingness in his ear.

"'Gyu", he ground out, coughing slightly due to his dry throat.

"Hey, you back with us?", Mingyu asked tenderly, cupping Wonwoo’s face and wiping his tears with his thumb. Suddenly a bit embarrassed Wonwoo nodded. Seungkwan tipped a glass of water against his lips with utmost care and he drank greedily to soothe his parched throat.

"'M sorry", Wonwoo mumbled. “I …”

"Nothing to be sorry about", Jeonghan said. He had stood up and now was standing at the front door, obviously wanting to get to the hospital as soon as possible. "Happens to the best of us. It was scary, I'll give you that." 

 💎

Wonwoo let Hoshi and Jeonghan pull him to his feet and was quite grateful that they didn't let go as his legs still felt like jelly.

They quickly entered Seungcheol's car, Jeonghan in the driver’s seat, Woozi passenger and Hoshi and Mingyu joining him in the back. 

Mingyu pulled him close and Hoshi scooted to the door, so that even with the limited amount of space Wonwoo was able to rest his head on Mingyu's shoulder. Hoshi still held his hand in his, his thumb rubbing comforting circles on Wonwoo’s wrist. The rapper was too hyped to sleep, though he felt his body crashing as the adrenaline died down, but he was able to relax against his friends a bit.

Soon after, Wonwoo found himself in one of the plastic chairs in a private waiting room of a busy Seoul ER. A door opened and Seungcheol stepped in, his limb more pronounced again. Crashing to his knees seemed to have done him in, Wonwoo noted vaguely as Jeonghan rushed over to support him. 

Seungcheol squeezed his hand thankfully and sank down on Jeonghan's vacated chair.

"Dino's awake", he said with a forced smile. They all breathed a sigh of relief but it was short lived. "He is in a lot of pain, but they are running the test quickly. He already had a CT and MRI. They gave him some medication for the seizure, so he's good in that department. He's been freaking out at the prospect of a … I forgot the term but they want to take a sample from his spine fluid. Wonwoo-yah, he’s been asking for you. I told him I couldn’t guarantee it but do you want to go?"

Wonwoo nodded and moved to get up. He needed to be there for his dongsaeng now, especially if he asked for him. He still didn’t feel great, more like he was about to redecorate the hospital floor, but he had to do this. Mingyu squeezed his hand encouragingly and then he stood in the small treatment room.

Dino, pale and shaky, was lying on his side on the gurney, dressed in a hospital gown. He seemed impossibly small curled up like this, even more than normal.

"Hey", Wonwoo breathed and strode over towards Dino. The maknae opened his eyes and looked up at him. 

"Wonwoo-hyung?", he asked, his voice filled with a bit of uncertainty. 

"Yeah, it's me." He gently wrapped Dino small hands in his. Seeing Dino, no matter how he looked right now, calmed him down significantly.

"I'm scared. What's wrong with me?"

"I don’t know", Wonwoo said honestly. "But I am sure the doctors will find out why you are in so much pain and had that seizure"

"Seizure?", Dino asked, panicky. Wonwoo leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Yeah, you had a seizure at the apartment."

"I don't remember", Dino said, closing his eyes again. "Shua-hyung drove me home and I went to bed. The next thing I know I wake up here with a worried Seungcheol-hyung, who looks like he just survived a war."

Wonwoo had no chance to answer as a doctor entered. 

“Good afternoon”, she greeted with a smile. “I’m here to perform the lumbar puncture. Chan-ssi, are you feeling ready?”

“No, but I don’t think I ever will. Just do it.”

"I promise I will be as gentle as I can, Chan-ssi. Relax, please, this will be a bit uncomfortable nevertheless."

"Focus on me, baby", Wonwoo said, running his finger across Dino' cheek, trying to distract the maknae. He nodded at the doctor who injected Dino' back with a local anesthesia. The maknae whimpered slightly and grasped Wonwoo's hand tighter.

 💎

Forty-five minutes later Wonwoo rocked a crying Dino in his arms, after the procedure was finally done. A nurse called somebody to move Dino's bed into a private room and nobody batted an eye when Wonwoo followed them. 

Once Dino was settled into the room, an IV connected to him to give him fluids and anti-nausea medication, Jeonghan and Mingyu appeared in the doorway.

Jeonghan quickly walked over towards Dino and gathered him in his arms in a tender way, kissing his forehead. Mingyu stepped to stand next to Wonwoo and grasped his hand in his, squeezing it tightly.

"Visiting hours are over in half an hour", he quietly informed Wonwoo. The older rapper nodded.

Now that Dino was settled he felt the exhaustion weigh him down and his vision got blurry. 

"Hoshi drove Woozi and Joshua home, pray for them. A manager is waiting for us to drive us back", Mingyu then added.

Wonwoo nodded again and then his knees buckled under him. He was so tired.

"Come on, hyung, sit down", Mingyu mumbled when Wonwoo sagged against him more and more with every second. He moved him to sit at the table in one corner of the room and sat down on the table, so that he could pull Wonwoo's head to lean against his stomach. 

They silently watched Dino and Jeonghan talking to each other, Jeonghan impossibly gentle with their youngest.

A knock on the door startled all of them out of their thoughts and the doctor from before entered the room.

“Good evening. How are you feeling, Chan-ssi?”, she asked.

“Tired. Headachy and tense. Still queasy”, Dino mumbled, his head dropping against Jeonghan’s chest.

"That’s understandable. The tests just came back. They show you have contracted bacterial meningitis. You will receive some antibiotics for the next few days. You should count on being here for at least a week. I’m sure your hyungs will keep you company during visiting hours but you need rest above all." 

With that she walked over and connected Dino's IV to a small bottle of what seemed to be the antibiotic.

"Thank you", Jeonghan said and turned to Dino as soon as the doctor had left. “Dino?”

“Hm?”

“Whose baby are you?”

Dino sighed and rolled his eyes. “Jeonghannie hyung’s baby.”

“That’s right”, Jeonghan said. “You are our baby brother. Don’t scare us like this again. You can count on your hyungs nagging you for the rest of time.”

Dino smiled crookedly. “From what I gathered I think I scared you enough that you’ll all wait on me hand and foot for the rest of time.”

“Brat!”

Notes: Lately I haven't been doing well mentally and especially with work it's been hard to write consistently. So this fic (and likely some future ones) are just rewrites and adjusted Les Misérables stories I wrote. I can assure you it's definitely my own story (even if the account name is different) and I mostly don't like doing this but I still want to present you some fics! This is why it also doesn't quite fit the request I based this fic on - because a) this was already written and b) I only headcanon Joshua and Woozi to get migraines and I needed something that looked similiar to one. I hope you enjoyed anyways!

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[criswritessometimes]

song sparrow

content - reader runs into schlatt at twitchcon

author's note // wooo! bluejay part 2! i highly recommend reading bluejay if you haven't to understand the context.

california was a good new start for you. you needed to get out of new york after, well, the breakup. you had made a new community on the west coast, not to forget one of your best friends, ted! he was the one that helped you the most after your breakup with schlatt, you never asked him to, but he more than happily offered his support while you were getting back on your feet emotionally. earlier in the week, you got an email inviting you to twitchcon. you scan the email and are about to click the attend button, but your thumb is hovering over it for a while, a little longer than it usually would. you sign, turn your phone off, and set it down, thinking for a little while more before you make the decision

it’s a few days later, and you still don’t know if you’re going to go. as you’re editing a new video with ted in it, your phone starts buzzing. taking off your headphones and turning the screen over, you see ted’s face on your screen, “hey, what’s up.” you greet. “are you going?” he opens with. “wow, that’s one way to say hi. umm, i’m not sure.” you answer his question. “ok, well hi. so, are you going to twitchcon?” ted asks again. you rub your hand over your forehead, schlatt had started streaming again, and you were worried you would run into him. ted answers this question for you, “he hates california, you know that right? he would tell me about his distain everytime h would come out to visit.” “yeah i know,” you mutter, “ugh fine i'll go.” “yay!!” ted cheers from the other line, “we’ll have fun! we can hang out for the whole day.” “ted, we do that to begin with.” you laugh a little, reminding him. “yeah but like we’ll have lanyards on this time,” he adds. you chuckle at his comment, feeling some stress leave your body.

today was the day. the plan was for you to pick up ted and then drive to san diego, getting there around 11am. with both of your track records, being late was always an option. the car ride there was fine; yeah, there was traffic leaving LA, but there always was, no matter what time you left. 

after getting checked in and getting the lanyard, you and ted walked around the floor with a few other creator friends to see what twitchcon had in store for you this year. you hear a loud, boisterous laugh from across the hall, and you turn to your head and see where it came from. it’s him. you see schlatt catching up with charlie about 20 feet away. there’s a drop in your stomach as your eyes go wide. you never thought you would see him again, let alone here. ted looks to his right and sees you’re not beside him anymore. he looks behind him, sees you stuck, and sees schlatt and charlie talking. ted walks over to you, slowly turning your body to help you keep walking. he puts an arm over your shoulder and leads you to the most private area he can find. once there, he holds your hand gently to look up at him. “i’m right here ok?” he gently says. you nod slightly, still looking around to see if he noticed you. your arms wrap around ted to try and ground yourself with him. you pull away after a few seconds, “i just didn’t know he was gonna be here.” “he never texted me about it.” ted says, pulling his phone out to double-check his texts. you know they were friends, and you didnt want to create a riff between them by telling ted about all the complexits of your relationship. all you tld him was that he broke up with you because he was worried something bad was going to happen if it was revealed that you two were dating. “we can go home if you want.” ted offers. you shake your head, “no, i still wanna have a good time.” “ok i’ll make a deal with you,” ted starts, “we’ll go over and say hi, then we’ll go over to the other side of the convention hall.” you shake your head, “yeah that sounds fine.” ted leads you back to the group. he sees schlatt and charlie have joined in. ted goes over to schlatt to give him a big hug; you forget the last time ted told you he saw him, so it made sense, as you were talking to charlie. “wow they really let anyone in here.” he jokes as he hugs you. you reciprocate and bite back, “yeah i could say the same thing.” he laughs at your joke and continues with the pleasantries of ‘how have you been,’ ‘what projects do you have on the docket,’ ‘do you want to join me on this project,’ all of that. you really do try and focus on charlie and talking with him, but you keep getting distracted by hearing schlatt’s voice. “hey, you ok?” charlie asks, stepping closer to you. “um yeah, i’m good. i just haven't seen schlatt in a while, and it’s just weird to see him at a convention.” you explain. charlie’s eyes shoot up in suprise, “you and schlatt know own each other?” “ummmm,” you inhale, “umm yeah, we used to hang out in new york a few times a year together. we just had a feeling there would be dating rumors if we were seen in a video together so we were never able to collab.” it felt wrong lying to charlie, but you didn’t need to air out your whole relationship on the floor of twitchcon, time and place, yknow?

you and charlie continue to talk until he’s pulled away for a panel, and you’re left alone with schlatt and ted. schlatt is talking to ted as he notices you, “oh my god, hey (y/n) i didn’t get to say hi to you yet.” there was a light in his eyes you didn’t notice until it had come back. you offer him a polite smile, “hey yeah, i’m surprised to see you in california, i thought you hated it here?” “yeah, well.” he brushes it off. there’s a pause between the three of you. you knew ted wasn't going to chime in, so you do. “have you been keeping well?” you speak up. “um yeah, i was able to find a new routine.” you smile again, “that’s awesome, i’m glad you were able to.” all you can think about the thursday after your break up. 

“you kept me on a easy schedule, i knew what i was doing everyday.” 

you continue to nod along, the phase continuing in your mind. you weren’t sure if you still loved him, but damn if you didn't want the best for him. ted looks over at you and can tell you’re holding back talking honestly, so he finds a way to remove himself, “i’m gonna go get a bottle of water, (y/n), schlatt, you guys want anything?” “yeah, some water would be nice.” you answer. “i’m good, man, thanks.” schlatt tells him. ted nods and then leaves your area. 

“can we talk?” he speaks first. “about what? you broke up with me, jay.” you reply. “i know, and it was a rash decision i made. i’m sorry,” schlatt says, taking a pause before his last statement. “i appreciate it, but could we not so the whole ‘make-up-talk-about-our-relationship' stuff here?” you ask, looking around for whoever might be listening to you. “of course, i want to move at our pace. do you want to get dinner and talk tonight?” he says, then follows it with, “i realize that sounds like a date, i promise it’s not.” you chuckle a little, endeared that he was still nervous in front of you. “yeah sure schlatt, i’ll text you a place later in the day.” you say, a calmness coming over you. “great, i’ll see you later. have a fun time with ted.” he gives you a little nod and then walks into the crowd. you stand there for a few seconds before ted is coming over to you. “hey everything go ok?” he asks, “i saw you guys talking then schlatt walking away.” “yeah, we’re al good,” you take the bottle of water from him, crack it open, then take a sip, “we’re getting dinner later tonight to talk, actually.” “oh?” ted replies.

[ssruis]

The best film wrap is the event that pushed Nene up into my top-10 (I loved her even before this don't get me wrong it's just... I'm a vbs fan). It's very cute and cool I do recommend it greatly, I really enjoyed the way it dealt with Nene's anxiety.

I keep calling it Nene's pandemonium and nobody listens to me but I'm right. This is exactly what it is

It's also absolutely hilarious as far Nenean humor goes. Your honor they're polar opposites and An keeps accidentally giving Nene heart attacks. It's fine it's good for her character development

HELP MEEE god I love nene. she’s so real and so pathetic. Truly a peak character. + an is such a funny character to pair her with because she’s extroverted and charismatic and popular but also very genuinely kind. & nene is shaking like a chihuahua being forced to talk to people she views as so much cooler than her (which an does not get. Why are you anxious we’re all friends here :D & nene’s reaching new heights of anxiety)… Going from being in a class with toya to being in a class with an is like going from socialization (baby mode) to socialization (extreme turbo hard mode) for her.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

re my last post unfortunately i think viktor is pretty so he is my weakness in this show. i still do wanna throttle him and jayce though

[lesbianslovebts]

When you ask for a sign and get several signs in response, actually, but they're not pointing in the direction you wanted. 🙃

[slingbats]

I am going to need that rewrite on my desk by tomorrow, 12 point font, times new roman, double spaced

noOOOOOO IT'S TOO MUCH WORK!!! I DON'T HAVE TIME AND I DON'T CARE ENOUGH........ girl help!

my rewrite where uhhhhhhhhhh. everything is the same except the writers actually care about female characters. a lot of decisions were made because of actresses no longer being available so plotlines like fish's are more or less the same but like, Ivy either gets to grow up normally or is never a child at the beginning to start with (you can go the weird plant body route if you have to keep her relatively younger since this is a prequel ig), and I don't... even know what to make of KK or Isabella, and Sofia should just be fucking. dont tell me there isn't a single female italian bodybuilder who can act, I don't believe you. let her be buff. let her take up space. let her be huge and wear vintage fashion.

also Oswald is fat and trans

[gemharvest]

Anxiety goes crazy I keep feeling like I'm gonna throw up because it tells me that the dentist is gonna Kill Me when I go in bc of my teeth.

[luveline]

𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Spencer gets a bad bout of amnesia. Or, your boyfriend forgets he’s your boyfriend, but he still has a crush on you. [3k]

c: fem, bombshell!reader, head injury, hospitals, amnesia, fluff, spencer can’t believe he bagged you, requested here 

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚⋆

Spencer wakes to an empty room. 

He lays on a pillow too flat, neck twinging, the back of his eyes throbbing when he moves.

He struggles to breathe through his nose and lets his mouth open for a few achy breaths, his mouth dry like he’s been sucking on cotton balls. 

Spencer’s alarmed, without a clue what it is he’s done. He wonders where Gideon is, if the older man has come to see him yet. He hopes somebody told his mom he’s okay. 

Maybe Hotch will come. He and Hotch have grown closer while Gideon was on his mandated recovery time; Gideon spends far less time in the office, sticking to lectures, seminars and consults, while Hotch, Morgan and Spencer handle the away cases. Spencer might go as far as to say Hotch likes him. And Morgan can tolerate him now, less grudging when Spencer offers a random fact or statistic to further the case. 

A stab of pain at the back of his head makes itself known sharply.

Spencer doesn’t want to move, but he needs to assess things. He frowns at his arms, naked as they are. His silver watch is missing. A t-shirt that he doesn’t remember buying stretches over his chest. What state are they in, and who dressed him? 

He’s scowling at the window with it’s wide-open blinds and all the sun when the door opens. 

You’re looking at the bags on your arm as you come in. Spencer startles in his blankets —what are you doing here? Agent L/N, Morgan’s friend and a candidate for the open position on the BAU team. You’re from the Sex Crimes Unit, like Greenaway. 

Spencer flusters every time he sees you, not just because of how kind you’d been the first time you met, or even the easy flirtation you send his way when you cross paths. It’s because you’re the prettiest woman he’s ever seen. He’s not talking about the golden ratio or statistical beauty, you’re just stunning. You stop him in his tracks whenever you steal into the office. It’s better when you notice he’s awake and light up like he’s the winning numbers for tonight’s lottery pull. Everything about you illuminates. 

“Hey, babe!” you say, not not yelling as you drop your bags in the seat by the bed and reach for him.

He doesn’t think to move away as you take his face into your hands.

“I’m so glad you’re finally awake, you almost slept for the full twenty four hours.” Your hands are soft. They smell like neroli. When you stroke his cheek and lean down to give him a chaste peck, he almost passes out there and then. “It's a good thing, obviously,” you say, and then kiss him again distractedly. Spencer squeezes his eyes closed. “You heal more when you’re asleep. Or so I’ve heard.” 

You pull away, Spencer blinking for his life. You have such a nice mouth, but Spencer’s never thought about what it might feel like on his. He doesn’t have the audacity: in what world would you ever kiss him? That’s the joke, right, when you flirt with him in the office?

“How are you feeling?” you ask, losing some of your pep. “How’s your head, handsome? You know, there are easier ways to get a haircut.” 

“They cut my hair?” he croaks. 

“Shaved it at the back to stitch you up. Not much, don’t worry. They were pushing for a buzz cut but I put my foot down on that one,” you joke. You nudge his legs aside without worrying about sitting on him as you get comfortable. “It’s not much. You can’t tell.”

“I…” 

“You feeling okay?” you ask softly. Your nice mouth purses. Your eyebrows pinch. They’re cute eyebrows. 

“You look different than the last time I saw you.” 

He doesn’t mean to say it aloud. He’s noticing things now. You’re wearing less powder under your eyes than you used to. You seem to have gained a little weight, and you look good. You didn’t look bad before, but this is different. Your hair isn’t too different, nor your brows, but you’ve begun lining your lips in a new way. Your blush is a subtler hue. Spencer doesn’t claim to know everything about you, but he can say that you look neatly the same each time you visit. Why the sudden change?

“It’s hard to sleep when your favourite person in the world gets his head cut open,” you say, taking his hand where he’d left it loose in the blankets. 

Your fingers slip into his with ease. 

“Can I tell you something?” he asks, attempting to swallow his nerves. 

“Of course you can.” 

He licks his lips. “Uh, I think I’m confused. I don’t– I don’t remember what happened, and…” 

“Oh, right. They told me this might happen.” You draw yourself up with a breath. He’s fascinated by the movement, an air of heat around him as you begin rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb. “You got hit in the back of the head with a cinder block, honey. Went down like a lead balloon.” You turn your face to show your cheek. “We’re even now on good scares, yeah?” 

You have a scar on your face he’d missed, carefully concealed but yet not invisible. Your hand in his feels so alien he holds it wrong, fingers twined but palms apart. 

“What happened to you?” he asks. 

Your brow crinkles. You go very still. “My cheek?” you ask. 

“What…” 

“Spencer, what’s the last thing you can remember, honey?” you ask, all the horror in the world to be found in your eyes. 

“Uh…” He feels sick to his stomach.

“Spencer?” 

Without having to be told, you slip off of the bed with two taps of your shoes and reach for the bedpan, thrusting it into his lap. 

His mouth fills with spit. “I’m fine,” he says. 

“No, I don’t think so. Let me get a doctor.” 

“Wait,” he says, clutching the bedpan and pushing his wave of nausea as far down as he can. “Please don’t go.” 

“My face was months ago, honey. I got hit in the face with a hammer by a UnSub, you don’t remember?” you ask incredulously. 

“Why do you keep calling me honey?” he asks. He knows the answer, but it’s not computing. 

Your face drains of any happiness. “I’m going to get a doctor,” you say, shoulders rigidly tight as you exit the room, leaving Spencer in your wake wishing he’d just pretended he knew who you were, just until you kissed him again. 

—

“And he really can’t remember you at all?” Morgan asks. 

You’re a little less startled than you had been, and you’re trying not to punish poor Spencer, but realising your boyfriend forgot years of flirting, and yearning, and friendship —years of kissing in secret and otherwise, years of holding hands, and staying at each other’s places to get that extra time together, even if it was just getting to sleep in the same bed between cases— was a slap. 

“He remembers me,” you say, leg crossed over the other, arm over the railing of Spencer’s bed to hold his hand. “He just doesn’t remember a thing after Gideon came back, after Boston.” 

“I remember when you had hair,” Spencer says to Derek. 

Derek glares at him, “This Spencer doesn’t get to sass me.” 

“But I do eventually?” 

“How come you’re holding hands if he doesn’t know who you are?” Derek asks pointedly. 

You shrug. “We talked about it, didn’t we?” you ask Spencer, who perks up every time you talk, which isn’t unlike your usual Spencer. Whenever he catches himself doing it he flusters. Every time you call him baby he loses his mind. “He doesn’t remember me, but he wants to. And I remember him.” 

“This must be pretty weird for you, kid,” Derek says. 

“Sort of,” Spencer says. 

It’s funny. Now you know Spencer thinks he’s twenty three again, you can’t not notice his shyness and his awkward tries at casualness. You’d forgotten what he was like back then. 

“Wait, does that mean you don’t remember Emily?” Derek asks. 

Spencer frowns. “Uh, no?” 

You sit up in your chair. “Emily’s one of your best friends, honey. She joined the BAU when Greenaway left.”

“Not you?” he asks. 

You dramatise your pain as Derek laughs. “Not me. I didn’t transfer for a long time, unfairly. It’s okay, though, you’ll remember Emily eventually.” 

When you realised Spencer wasn’t as okay as you’d thought, you gathered a gaggle of agitated doctors to assess him. He knew his name and birthday. He was wrong about the date, the president, and the state. You’re in Arizona where he’d thought Indiana. Your bag talks to the heat: Spencer’s fan, his sunblock, his antihistamines. He couldn’t believe it when he asked where his stuff was and you passed him your handbag. 

You’re trying to drive home to him that you’re not just dating, you're common-law partners, Spence. He adores you. You’d spend life in his lap if you could afford it. 

“How’d she get you to believe her?” Derek asks Spencer. 

“Uh.” 

“I kissed him a couple of times before he came clean about the amnesia,” you say. “So I didn’t have to explain.” 

“I didn’t mean to lie,” Spencer says. 

He’s looking less haggard now you’ve brushed his hair. It was sweet to watch his shoulders relax. He shuddered when you tucked a strand behind his ears, and didn’t flinch when you asked if you could kiss his cheek. It’s hard to have him vulnerable here and not be allowed to lick his wounds for him. You feel better the better he feels. You’ve fluffed his pillow, wrapped him tighter in blankets. When he got up to pee and you offered to help, he gave a resolute No Thank You, which in hindsight is hilarious but at the time made you wanna squeeze your eyes out. 

“It’s okay,” you say softly, “I don’t mind kissing him, even if he doesn’t remember me. Just so long as he doesn’t mind it back.”

Spencer manages to squeeze your hand. It’s a soft one, but it’s real. “I don’t mind.” 

“You dog,” Derek says. 

“Stop, stop. He’s not doing anything wrong, is he?” you ask. “I’m the evil one, forcing kisses on him when he doesn’t know me.” 

“I do know you,” Spencer says. 

“What’s it like to have a crush on your own girlfriend?” Derek asks, unwilling to quit his teasing where he’s crossing his arms in the chair opposite, his cup of coffee drained on the side table. 

Spencer swallows. “Uh, nerve-wracking.” 

“Believe it or not, that’s not so different to now,” Derek says. 

Spencer looks to you for confirmation, which you love. You slide your chair closer to him and clasp his wrist with your free hand. “Sometimes you're still a little shy, but it’s not so bad. Full of myself I may be, Spencer Reid, but you do love me. It’s easy with us.” 

“Do we really live together?” he asks. “You said common-law.” 

“Not technically. I stay at your place four nights a week. You stay with me for the weekends.” 

“Every week?” he asks.

“Yeah.” 

“We’re never apart?” he asks. 

His face is turning pink. You could kiss every bit of colour on his cheeks. 

“Derek, would you get Spencer something to eat from the cafeteria? Please?” you ask, levelling your friend with a pleading gaze. 

Derek gathers himself up. “Sure. We gotta feed the string bean something, don’t we?” he asks. 

Alone again, you draw lines up and down Spencer’s arm with your nails. You’re going to be indulgent in yourself, and ask him everything you’d ever wanted to know. And then a little extra, too. 

“You’re not as skinny anymore, have you noticed? You’re quite lean.” You stand to sit where you’d put yourself before he confessed. Your hand falls to his knee. “Solid, sometimes. You and Derek go for walks occasionally.” 

“We do?” 

“Mm-hm. And me and you do yoga in the living room when we can summon the energy. We tried couples Pilates, but Pilates is hard.” 

“We did?”

You smile warmly. “It’s nice to be in love with someone who loves in the same way.” 

“How do you love?” 

His ears are bitten-red. “Oh, you know. I’m too affectionate. It’s hard not to be with you. Everyone used to think we were… I don’t know, playing a game.” You slide your hand up his thigh, leaning on him to watch his pupils blow. “But I love you for far more than your constant propensity to blush. You get me flowers every time you see my favourites, and you never let me go to sleep without a kiss. Usually here.” You poke the skin beside your eye. “But sometimes you’ll surprise me and kiss my nose.” You're going lax with love, remembering things he’s done, and does every day.  “On a Saturday morning we make tea and I put my hands in your t-shirt. You do the crosswords for fun. Sometimes we time them.” 

“That’s not how you love, that’s what you love,” Spencer says. 

“Oh, you want a play by play of things?” He ducks his chin, but he smiles when you laugh. 

“I just can’t believe this is happening.”

You try to think of things you don’t think about anymore. “You love my sugar lip gloss, so I always wear it.” 

He reaches out tentatively. Shy as a wren in a hedgerow. You let him curl a hand over your elbow, feel the crook of it with his index finger. 

“I buy you stamps, and t-shirts for bed, and stupid stuff you wouldn’t get yourself. We’re… it’s like, it doesn’t feel like gift giving anymore because we’re always getting stuff for each other. You’re just as sweet, you know? When I first started sleeping over you bought me this huge pack of socks ‘cos yours are all odd,” you laugh. “I knew I loved you already, but…”

It’s a little sad, actually. He can’t remember all the stuff that makes you the couple you are. It’s not what you’d meant to get into. 

“Can I ask you something?” you ask. 

“Anything.” 

He’s slept-in and breathless, like he ran laps in his dreams. 

“What do you think of me now? I always wondered if you liked me back then, or if I just caught you off guard.” 

“Who wouldn’t like you?” 

“But did you?” 

He looks away hurriedly, his hand dropping from your elbow. “I guess so. But it’s not– not real. I have a crush on you.” His mumbling is sweet. “I have no idea why I’m telling you that.” 

“I had a crush on you, too, back then. It wasn’t anything serious, but it wasn’t a joke. And the more time we spent together, the more I thought we could fall in love,” —you take his hand and put it back on your arm— “and we did.” 

You toy with his fingers. Without looking, ashamed of your own self-indulgence, you ask another question. “What do you think of me now?” 

“I can’t remember,” he says sorrily. 

“What do you think?” 

“You feel like a dream.” He shakes his head. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. I don’t really get how this is real.” 

You shouldn’t be surprised that he’d say it, you practically begged for it, but you can’t stop yourself from sitting up to kiss his forehead gently. “It’s real. Promise. And for the record, you’re handsome. They stopped saying ‘aged like fine wine’ a while ago. Now they just say ‘aged like Spencer Reid’.”

He gives a choky laugh. 

The door opens again. You lift your head expecting Derek and find a weather worm Hotch in the doorway. “Reid, you’re awake,” he says, not bothering with a smile. “Morgan said you have amnesia?” He directs it at both of you. 

Spencer’s looking at Hotch in clear shock. 

“He hasn’t aged that badly,” you chastise teasingly. 

“Hotch, you’re– I thought you would’ve– You’re still–?”

Hotch squints. “You didn’t think I had the stamina for it?” 

Spencer squirms under his gaze. “No, sir, it’s not that–”

“Sir,” Hotch says, and then he smiles. “I forgot when you both used to respect me.” 

“I have the utmost respect for you, sir,” you say through your own smile. 

“Has she been kind to you, Reid?” 

“Uh, yes? Is she not usually?” 

Hotch presses his lips together rather than answer. There’s a sympathy in his expression you resent.

—

It’s a thankfully quick bout of amnesia. The memories start to draw in like a dusting of powdered sugar, his head finely silted, one particle at a time. He finds that the more you talk, the quicker his memory is jogged. You tell him about your first kiss —I tried to kiss your cheek but you moved, it was the funniest thing— and your second. You spin stories of cases, the worst ones and the best, all the times you held hands without people knowing, the times you’d been caught. He can’t imagine it, goes hot with the memory, picturing kissing you as you’d described and the mortification of being walked in on. 

You tell him about your vacation to Nevada a few months ago and he thinks about how you’d fallen asleep on the plane. Your nose in his arm, your unhappy sigh at the tight leg space. 

Remembering you is more than half of remembering himself.

Your hands —his hands. Your smile —his laugh. The way you fold his hands in your lap —the urge to catch your chin for a kiss. 

He doesn’t know how to deal with it, and then suddenly he feels like Spencer. Your partner, your love, his proudest title for years. You’re standing at the end of the hospital bed in pajamas folding your clothes, allowed to stay the night while he’s so urgently confused and upset, you can’t make him stay here alone, please, I know you guys have those little cots for the kids ward, and he just knows you completely. 

Hours of diligent if embezzled storytelling gives it all back to him. 

“I like the lipgloss because you used to wear that perfume that smelled like sugar donuts,” he says, scratching a hand through limp hair. “And every time I crossed the square by the station–”

You let out a surprising squeal of joy. “Spencer!” you say, racing to take his hands, “Yes! The donut truck!” 

You go in for a kiss he gladly returns. “Oh, you remember,” you say, softening as he takes your neck into his hand. “I was getting worried.” 

“Some of it’s still hazy, but not so much you.” 

You wrap your arms around him for a hug, careful of his sore head. “I missed you, Spencer. I still loved you when you couldn’t remember me, but I missed you. Do you remember you?” 

He traces the scar on your lower cheek with his thumb. He’s genuinely relieved to be able to say he does. He’s not scared of what you think of him anymore, ‘cos he knows that everything he feels for you is mutual. “I remember you telling me my bad feeling was just a case of the heebies.” 

You bend into his touch. “Honey, I’m sorry. How was I supposed to know you’d get your skull whacked with a cinder block? It was a bakery. I thought the worst that could happen was getting a face full of red velvet or something.” You kiss his nose quickly. “I’m so glad you’re you. Now I can sleep in the bed with you, and not that collapsible camping cot.” 

He shushes you. “Don’t give us away. They’re not gonna let you stay if they think I’m fine.” 

You giggle excitedly, arms around him again for another squeeze. “I missed you so much. You’re so devious now.” 

He rubs your back. “I missed you too. And I still have a crush on you, I swear.”

“Thank you, honey, that means a lot to me.” 

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