#& justice for literally all of the other students who were given nothing in part 3!

[hitsuackerman]

Why Did It Have to be Him? pt. 2 (Aizawa x Reader)

a/n: so this was pretty challenging to write since its difficult to imagine Aizawa and his lustful needs all while trying to keep him in character... So, I hope this part 2 did you justice :) thank you for requesting this @hxneybee-uwu​ ! enjoy!

Warnings: Student-Teacher relationship, Age-gap, Cursing

Link: Part 1, Part 3

Materlist for my other fics :) here

Mina: Did you hear the news? We’re going 2 b having dorms

Toru: Did Aizawa-sensei and All Might Visit you guys now?

Kiri: Not yet. But my parents will surely agree.

You stared at the group chat before you. Heart racing at the thought of two teachers (okay, maybe one of them in particular) visiting your empty house. Not bothering to reply to your friends, you hurriedly stood up and began cleaning whatever nook and cranny your eyes could see.

As you were mopping the floors, a thought came into your mind. How would things work knowing you lived alone? Whose permission would you ask for? Both your parents had passed and them having no brothers or sisters, you had nowhere else to go, you settled for living off of the inheritance. It was just enough for you to live, given you had a part time job.

Your phone beeped once more cutting your thoughts.

Bakugo: Oi. How are yu gonna give them yer consent?

Y/N: I have no idea. I think I can ask one of them to sign it for my name instead…?

Bakugo: You really think theyd do that? Bullshit

Y/N: I can only hope huhuhu :(

Staring at your screen, your heart sunk at the idea of not being given the needed permission to join the dorms. Still, you showed a small smile at how Bakugo showed concern. He was one of the few people who knew about your predicament. Tossing your phone aside, you continued doing your chores.

When it was finally noon, you were now properly dressed and everything was now in tip top shape. All that was left was for your teachers to arrive. Killing time, you turned on the TV and watched whatever show was on. Not soon after, there was a knock on the door.

‘Fuck…’ You internally panicked when you saw it was only Aizawa outside your door. Any hopes of not having to make things awkward, flushed down the drain. Heat instantly traveled to your cheeks as your mind recalled what transpired a few days ago.

“You live alone, right?” Aizawa asked as he fixed his bag strap on his shoulder. His eyes took in your features. The pink tint on your cheeks gave him an uneasy feeling. The small rise in his heart beat needed to be pushed aside.

“Yeah.” You stepped aside to give him room to enter. When he passed by, you bit your inner lip and prayed for any sort of help. “Make yourself comfortable, sensei.”

‘Lords that sounds so wrong even if it’s still with context.’ This was not going well. Not one bit.

Leading him towards the living room, the two of you sat across from each other. It had only dawned on you that he was not wearing his hero costume. Instead, he was wearing a white button down shirt with the same tie from before. His stubble had returned quite fast but his hair was kept in a low bun.

“Do you want coffee or tea?” You touched your neck while trying to avoid eye contact. Seeing him sitting on your sofa was terrible for your fantasies. What you’d give to do at least something on that damn sofa.

When you started biting on your lip, his mouth started to dry. He had to swallow his saliva as his stare lingered on your lip. Once again, his skin tingles at the memory of your soft skin on his calloused one.

‘Shota. Stop.’ He mentally slapped himself. ‘See? This is why you should have let Toshinori visit (L/N).’

“Stop chewing on your lip, (L/N).” He snapped you out of your thoughts. Clearing his throat he advertently changed the topic. “Water will do.”

Excusing yourself, you scurried to the kitchen. This was not good. The fact that he’s in your home dressed like that caused your mind to relay pictures. How would he look underneath those clothes? Would he mind it if you ran your fingers through his hair? Of course he would. What the hell were you thinking? Those were the thoughts running in your mind as you shakily poured water into a glass.

Meanwhile, Aizawa rubbed his palms on his face. He had barely gotten any sleep yesterday and being able to recognize how you smelled of lavender when he entered your home did not help one bit.

Leaning his back on the sofa, his eyes began to wander. The walls were plain and barely any pictures. Save for 3 frames near the TV. Squinting his eyes, he could make out a younger you, smiling widely with your parents. At least he assumed.

“Those are my parents.” You gave him the answer as you placed the glass of water on the table. Returning to your seat, you tucked in a strand of hair and finally gave him eye contact. His blank gray eyes gave nothing away.

“I recall in your file that you don’t have any relatives. For that case, I have already asked permission from Principal Nezu that I can sign the papers, should you grant me authority.” He began to set some papers on the table. Once they were all laid flat, he took out a pen from his bag and placed it beside the papers. “All you have to do is sign this particular file.”

Taking the document, you scanned through the words and absentmindedly nodded. Without taking your eyes from the paper, you reached blindly for the pen.

Your breath hitched when you felt his fingers brush against yours. Tearing your gaze from the file, your eyes followed your arm till they reached your fingertips. In between your index and middle finger, his finger stayed frozen as well. Not one of you budged or flinched. When you looked over at his eyes, they seemed to be calculating and lost in thought.

‘You’re crossing the line, Shota.’ That’s what his mind yelled at him. Yet his body wanted him to just grab your wrist and hold your skin once more. His finger twitched and he managed to feel your skin against his.

Seeing his jaw tighten, you felt brave and imitated his actions. His eyes immediately darted and met yours. A shaky exhale exited your mouth as you felt his finger slowly rising up towards the back of your hand. His eyes never tearing away from you. The way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down only showed his evident lust.

Trembling, you lifted your index and carefully grazed his palm.

‘Holy shit. Holy shit. I’m tracing his palms. Fuck,’ Your heart felt as if it were running miles at the sensation of his skin.

It took all of his will to blink himself back to reality. Clenching his fist, he pulled himself away from you and cleared his throat. His eyes following your hand as you finally grabbed the pen.

‘Why did you do that? Are you that desperate to get under her skin?’ Aizawa scolded himself. He had indulged a little too much. Flexing stomach, he tried to hide his friend before you could notice. He had stepped over the line a little too much for his, or both, of your comforts.

After signing the document, you gave him the paper and made sure your fingers were a safe distance from him. The sooner he was out of your vicinity the better. After a few more instructions, he finally stood up and you accompanied him to the door.

As you trailed behind him, your eyes fell on his nape. Slowly, they fell towards his shoulders. Each little swing of his arm caused his traps to flex. It was subtle but his white shirt gave it away if you knew what you were looking for. Your eyes fell even lower. A satisfactory nod at how his butt was plump. A+ if you could say so yourself.

You flinched when your body collided with his chest. So lost in thought, you failed to notice how he had turned around to face you.

Aizawa couldn’t help but stare at how gradual your face turned a shade of red. The look of embarrassment but a hint of lust present in your orbs. A strand of hair falling on your face. Without thinking it through, he tucked the strand behind your ear.

“That’s what you want, isn’t?” He said as his finger began to trace your jaw. “Aren’t you smart enough to know that I’m your teacher and I’m much older than you?”

Your mind stopped working. There was no way you could redeem yourself from this. Avoiding his stare, you began to chew on your lower lip. Anxiety started to show when your shoulders trembled. Trying to formulate a sentence, your mouth just felt dry and barren.

“(L/N).” His voice stern. “Answer m-”

“Why… Why did you do that with your fingers? Why did you tuck that strand of hair, Aizawa-sensei?” Your voice cracked but the words came faster than you could comprehend. “I know you're my teacher. I just… I can’t help it.”

‘Don’t say the words, Shota. It will only make things worse.’

“Even if I entertained your feelings, there’s no way this will end up on a positive note. You and I both know that well enough.”

‘You should have just kept your mouth shut at this point.’

Seeing that tears were starting to pool up, he let out a sigh and removed his finger from your jaw. He hated himself. He hated himself for not wanting to let go of his touch on you. The only logical thing left for him to do was to turn around, open the door, and leave. But, his feet remained glued to the floor.

“What if you were wrong and all this ends on a positive note?” (Y/N). You’re literally inviting the thought of being expelled at this very moment. By now, your mind was too foggy to think straight. All you wanted was to show this man that maybe, just maybe, things would work out.

“Nothing good comes out with these types of relationships..”

“Then just give me a chance.” You retaliated. “There’s no harm in trying and we don’t have to tell anybody.”

‘There’s a lot of harm in this Shota. This isn’t logical anymore. This is just plain selfish on your part.’ His mind was yelling for him to stop. Yet the fire and determination in your eyes made him think otherwise. At this point, he wasn’t listening to his mind anymore.

It would be a lie on his part if he would say he never took an interest in you. Ever since the UA sports festival, his stare would linger on you and it became his own personal game if he could catch you ogling at him.

Taking one step forward, he saw how your eyes widened with fear and anticipation of what would happen next. Leading you, his gaze tore straight into your soul as your back felt the cold wall in your house. You were now pinned against the wall. Your head tilting upward to look into his stoic face.

‘OH MY LORD. A KABEDON. WHAT THE FUCK?!’ You yelled as your jaw dropped once more. Both his arms now caging your head. He bent his torso to fully take in your flustered face. Your knees now felt like jelly when the tip of his nose began to brush yours. He smelled like mint and rosewood.

Just like that, he released you from his cage and fixed his tie. It took everything in him not to devour you right then and then. Turning around, he ushered himself out. Before taking another step forward, he glanced at you over his shoulder.

“I like cats.” He said.

“What?” You were still recovering from the feeling of being pinned to the wall. Your senses tingled and heat reached the area between your thighs once more.

“You heard me.” With only an inch left of opening, he continued his sentence. “We can start off from there.”

The moment the hatch clicked, you fell to your knees and clutched your chest.

Meanwhile, Aizawa on the other side clenched his fists till his knuckles turned white. He had let himself go. This was bad but now that an opportunity presented itself, he would have to take such necessary precautions to ensure that this situation you found yourselves in would remain hidden.

“Shit.” That’s all he could say.

Taking his phone out, he scanned through his contacts till he reached your name. He didn’t know what went to him but he knew a smirk on his face when he feels it. After typing the message, he hit send and placed it back in his pocket.

Hearing your phone beeping, you hurriedly ran back towards the living and unlocked it. His name appeared on the notification bar. Your cheeks once again felt hot and your heart began to race once more.

‘I’ll call you later.’

Needless to say, he did.

[thegrandkinghimself]

who is oikawa tooru?

i guess that’s a weird way to start off a post, considering just how popular oikawa is in this fandom. i’m absolutely certain that he’s still one of the most popular characters if i can take the #oikawasear trend on twitter a couple of weeks ago seriously. (i will be mourning that iwaoi is no longer the top ship in this fandom. it’s devastating to me on a personal level). and i can’t say that i’m any different, either, otherwise i wouldn’t have made this blog or this post. but i guess the reason i’ve been itching to write this is because i’ve been in this fandom--and more specifically, a fan of oikawa--for about four or five years now. i devour the content available, and i can assure you that i’ve read too many of the fanfictions on ao3 to be healthy, and never before have i seen a character whose characterization is so hotly disputed. 

and i get it. he’s a complex person. he’s kind of awkward in that there is a very clear disconnect between his outward personality and who he is alone. it’s a very hard balance to strike, especially when you consider just how much conjecture goes on in his characterization among fans and in discourse. he’s really easy to project and certain traits, correct or otherwise, are amplified based off how authors perceive him. there’s plenty of presumptions that can be made based on his on-screen actions/thoughts/beliefs that can be taken to some very logical conclusions. 

but i’ve also seen people write him in ways that don’t strike me as particularly truthful. he’s type casted into stereotypes that don’t do him justice, or made into something that is vaguely like oikawa, but not quite. in the following post, i’ll be trying to dispel misunderstandings of his character, if only for my own sanity. 

tl;dr i think that oikawa is chronically one of the most misrepresented characters in fandom and i want to fix that

exclaimer: i am solely an anime-watcher; i have seen snippets of the manga and therefore have a general idea of what is going on.

let’s establish some very very basic stuff. just to keep it simple, i’m not going to talk about anything beyond what has been published via the anime (as of season four). 

Oikawa Tooru | 及川徹 

gender: male

d.o.b.: 1994.7.20. or 20 July, 1994

height: 184.3 cm

weight: 72.2 kg

occupation: high school 3rd year, class 6

position/number: setter, 1 (captain)

here’s something that’s never pointed out: oikawa is in class 6 which, if we go off the trend of every other school in haikyuu!!, means that he is in a college preparatory class aka he’s pretty dang smart. it’s not confirmed or anything, but it a. follows the trend of every other class 6 student and b. is the highest class available among seijoh 3rd years (classes 5, 3, and 1). don’t get the idea that he’s dumb or unintelligent, or even that his strengths only lie in the classroom because that would be a gross understatement of his skills.

anywho. 

generally speaking, i like to start with the building blocks of his personality because there’s so much room for assumptions. here are the things that i think make up his core personality:

intelligence/knowledgeable: not only academically speaking, but he’s also well-versed in people. he knows how to play them--what will make someone more confident, more doubtful, what will help his teammates succeed. clearly, oikawa is very knowledgeable in human thought patterns. or he’s dedicated a lot of time to knowing them. 

loyalty: of all of oikawa’s traits, i think this one gets talked about the least, but we know it to be true. we make jokes about “you should have come to shiratorizawa” but it really shows you exactly how loyal, how much trust, oikawa has in this team that he has spent three years shaping. he never stops believing in the work that he has put in, and especially the hard work that his teammates have put into their volleyball. 

hardworking: one of the most well-known things about oikawa. most fans already know that his white knee pad is actually a knee brace. ‘nuff said. i salute you, good sir. 

insecurity: oikawa’s insecurities are perhaps his most notable trait. in a sense, he’s sort of the underdog--so good, but never quite good enough to accomplish what he’s set out to do. and we know that he’s struggled with his doubts since junior high, literally since he was 12 or 13, and that’s informed all of his character from the moment he ran into ushijima. oikawa is someone who is defined by his insecurities. 

oikawa is a lot of things. he’s introduced as someone who is very flamboyant--he’s built up by kageyama as the best setter, his senpai literally and figuratively, his initial shots are all of smug smiles and easy, unfaltering swagger in the face of this new team. even his theme, all rambunctious brass and jazzy, is meant to be all in your face, here’s the big boss! he’s someone who is petty and silly and seems to favor shallow conversation. but he’s oikawa, so there’s a surprising amount of depth in the little time that we have with him. there’s a reason that, in any other franchise, he’d probably be the protagonist.

he is someone full of contradictions. he’s childish and he spends time with a bunch of girls and is very clearly someone who likes to project a certain image of himself to the public (see: his cute lil’ humming run after his yell in s4e23 to make him seem kind of normal). but he’s also spent a lot of time with himself. in fact, if we take the few scenes we have of him alone and his bedroom (bare, spartan, meticulous) into account, oikawa actually is much more solemn and/or serious than the image he projects. he’s comfortable in the silences between all the white noise. he’s alright just being with iwaizumi. he allows himself to dwell on the past and his shortcomings, while also looking forward to the future. his ambition and passion to improve drive him, but his past failures weigh him down. they haunt him.

personally, i think that he’s naturally a pretty silly guy when given the chance. it’s not just for show. iwaizumi would even corroborate this à la oikawa’s introduction speech in s1. he likes having fun when he can with his friends. if we assume that oikawa is most himself with iwaizumi, then we definitely know that’s the case (see: “are you my mom, iwa-chan?”), and there’s nothing wrong with that. but i think that the most basic traits of his character, combined with his experiences in volleyball, have pushed him to be this person who is mired in doubt. it’s forced him to go down a path where something that he once loved for the fun of it has now become the source of his ire. it’s really just that simple. maybe in another life, things would be different and oikawa wouldn’t have to struggle as much. but that’s really just a part of the human experience, isn’t it? and, in all honesty, would we really love oikawa as much without all his vices?

and maybe this is getting into speculation, but i don’t think it’s a difficult argument to make that oikawa is really mature. he’s introspective. i say introspective because the revelations that he’s had in regards to his own strengths and weaknesses--those are things he’s had to confront and deal with since he was in junior high (starts at 12 years of age). it takes someone with a lot of maturity and self-awareness to realize those kinds of things about himself.

and he’s stronger than he gets credit for. most people depict him as a crybaby, but he’s really not. he doesn’t cry or give up in the face of ushijima or kageyama’s unfettered growth and successes, he doesn’t cry when faced with defeat. oikawa is there to support iwaizumi in his own doubt as ace, and lend support to his teammates. and oikawa doesn’t get stuck on the what-ifs or has-beens. driven by his infamous ambition, he looks forward to the future. 

it’s kind of a double-edged sword. it’s pushed him this far--he’s put in this much effort to be one of the best in the prefecture--because of his competitive spirit, but it’s also something that has caused him serious injury. oikawa’s motto (”if you’re gonna to hit it, hit it until it breaks!”) is the very epitome of this mentality. it’s a message to work hard to finish what you started, but i also think that you could interpret that hard work breaking you, too. he’s steadfast—obsessive, really—to the point that oikawa will let his passions break him before he would ever give up. it’s the point of all the strife in his life, because he would never have the problems he does if he were even a little less enamored by this sport. 

and you really have to wonder where he would be without ushijima and kageyama as his obstacles. his drive will always be there, that is an intrinsic part of him, as are the standards to which he holds himself, but you really have to wonder just how good oikawa would be if he didn’t have such direct competitors. this is an incredibly important question to ask about kageyama and oikawa in particular. yes, oikawa does loathe ushijima: for his disregard for oikawa’s decisions, for his disregard of oikawa’s loyalty, for his flippant attitude of seijoh, who oikawa has poured his blood and sweat into creating. but ushijima is an opposite hitter. oikawa is a setter. those are two very different positions with little crossover. but with kageyama--that is a clear rivalry. they push each other to be better, made all the more potent by their differences as players; one setter’s growth as a player directly impacts how the other performs in each subsequent game. seijoh’s defeat by karasuno in season 2 just feeds into oikawa’s drive for the future. he has not intention of giving up. a light was lit under him, pushing him forward, to do better, to be better. 

this is something that has been pointed out in a different analysis (linked below) but, narratively speaking, oikawa is kageyama’s foil. their interactions inform their characters and are a major cause of tension in their development. their relationship is really the most complex in the story that i have noticed, and is something that has not been appreciated enough. the iwaizumi-oikawa thing has been expounded and studied in every facet possible (i love the alexander the great/hephaestion allusions), but it’s true that kageyama has impacted oikawa the most. they begrudgingly respect each other’s talents, what it is that they bring to the court, while also envying what the other has in spades that they do not. in oikawa’s case, his strength clearly lies in his interpersonal relationships--his ability to intuit exactly what his teammates need to be at their best. kags is just a fount of overwhelming technical skill who has a really hard time getting to know those around him. living up to the standards that oikawa places on himself, in tandem with kageyama threatening his position as setter, leave oikawa floundering, fearing his own incompetence against opponents who are naturally much better than he. so he’s left with the knowledge that maybe his best isn’t good enough, but he still continues on anyway. he pushes himself past a seemingly unreachable threshold just to go toe-to-toe with this monster. it’s the purpose of his character--to tell this story of the ordinary v. the extraordinary--and it is perhaps the most relatable arc that a story like haikyuu!! can tell.

their connection naturally causes oikawa to seek out help, seen in the flashback scenes where he is talking to an unspecified coach/adult. that coach’s words then become the creed upon which oikawa plays, maybe even more than what iwaizumi has taught him, and is the final push that completes oikawa’s character arc in s2ep24. that change in mindset allows oikawa to see kageyama’s unbridled talent not as an obstacle but as a challenge. it’s very nuanced, but it makes all the difference. it’s why, following seijoh’s defeat, oikawa has the audacity to declare to kageyama and ushijima his plans for the future. in a sense, karasuno and kageyama and ushijima have won the battle but not the war. it’s the tipping point in his story and, more than anything, what makes oikawa so compelling. we have seen what has led up to the change, but now we want to know what he’s going to do to meet that challenge. what will he be doing beyond the story when he is no longer relevant to the narrative? we don’t know the details at this point, but we know that oikawa’s love and ambition for volleyball have been reaffirmed in this moment. 

but to bring it back, the kags-oiks connection also makes us question what it is we are watching, makes us as the audience think: what qualifies someone as a genius? are there any limitations to what that genius can do? what can ordinary people do in the face of those geniuses? 

these are questions that exist beyond the reality of sports and transverse into other disciplines. for me, those are very real questions that i have had to ask myself as a musician. i have dedicated nine, almost 10, years to my practice but there are still 10-year-olds who are just better at it than i ever will be. part of it is time and practice to be sure, but some of it is just innate. and i think the more appropriate version of those questions would be this: what qualifies someone as a prodigy? are there limitations for prodigies? what can we do in the face of prodigies? 

oikawa is a genius player--he knows the ins-and-outs of his sport better than anyone, and he can accomplish great feats that others in his same position can’t. but even with all that veritable experience and skill, he is ultimately still overtaken by a prodigy whose talents seem endless. it’s why he can hate ushijima but fear kageyama. one is something he can actively fight against, the other is inevitable. 

and really, i think that’s the beauty of oikawa tooru, why he’s so beloved by the fandom, even years after he has stopped being relevant to the narrative. beyond the fluff and goofiness and hijinks, there’s someone there who is really, truly, human. 

an aside with much less significance/why do people think this??

so here’s one thing: even though oikawa has fangirls, i wonder what he actually thinks of them. for one, it’s only natural for anyone to be super flattered if people think you’re hot stuff. that’s just... i don’t think he’s weird if he pays attention to them. but i think that people are conflating his being kind to them to being genuinely egotistical due to the attention. actually, i think these are opposing ideas and a contradiction of who oikawa is. when you’re an arrogant person, you think that you deserve all the attention you’re getting and you’re not going to bother with the people who worship you.

but that’s not at all what oikawa does. he’s rather kind to his fans. i would never say that he’s self-effacing, but knowing what you’re worth is different from being pompous. and think about it. it’d be a real jerk move for oikawa to not say nice things to them and thank his fangirls when they spend time, energy, and effort to make him food and see his games. he would just be a genuinely awful person if he didn’t at least give them thanks. it’d be more alarming if he didn’t talk to them, at least in my opinion. more than anything, we should consider this: why is it that oikawa has the fan club and not anyone else on the seijoh team? i’m sure a part of it is because he’s attractive and the captain of a team, but i think it’s more than that, too. we see these interactions from other perspectives, but i think that reflects more on those around oikawa than oikawa himself if they don’t understand why he acts the way he does with those girls.

another thing: i don’t think that anyone can question that oikawa is very pretty, or handsome, or whatever descriptor you would like. it’s prevalent in fandom (see: pretty setters squad), but he is also the only person in canon to be acknowledged by other characters as being particularly good-looking. maybe the miyas count at this point? i’m not sure. but i don’t really understand where people get the idea that he is particularly focused on his appearance, though. there is literally no indication of that from the material that i have seen. and maybe he uses that to his advantage with his fangirls, but i highly doubt that, in all honesty. i think that it’s fun to imagine him being into these things as a hobby, but it irks me greatly when i see that people spend time saying that oikawa wakes up extra early just to fix his hair or slather on foundation/concealer just to look presentable. 

he’s a teenaged boy who clearly has other things that worry him, he’s a full-time student, and volunteers to coach at lil tykes volleyball classroom in his free time. he wouldn’t have time to spend on his hair or makeup. and we even seen in the hanger tooru special that he even wakes up looking like that. 

he is au naturale, my friends. and we even know how little he gives thought to his own body, if you take into account his knee brace. for oikawa, his body is merely the medium through which he can accomplish his goals. we even have evidence of this when we see oikawa up all night studying karasuno game play or via his knee brace. he doesn’t know how to stop or understand when enough is enough. he breaks himself if there’s no one to watch him. 

also, just... how would makeup work, logistically speaking? i don’t wear makeup, but i’m thinking that foundation and concealer and hair product would be, um, really bad. like, it’d run down his face and stuff. also, it’d probably get into his eyes, too? seriously. i’m not against oikawa wearing makeup in the slightest cause he’d be even prettier, but we know that oikawa would absolutely not jeopardize his chances in any way. 

thank you for reading this long-winded, probably awful look into my favorite character of all time. and i do mean that. he is my favorite character in all of media. which, like, says a lot when he’s competing against the casts of a:tla, call me by your name, and my actual favorite book, the song of achilles. after all of that, if you would like another (better) analysis of oikawa’s character, i suggest this reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/haikyuu/comments/94irsi/character_analysis_16_oikawa_tooru_discussion/ 

[stereogeekspodcast]

[Transcript] Season 1, Episode 3. What’s New – The New Mutants

We had thoughts about The New Mutants, few of them good. There were some enjoyable moments, which we discuss, along with sharing our thoughts on what could have been better. 

Spoiler alert: we will be talking about the entire film.

Content warning: some of the content in the film can be triggering, please proceed with caution.

Listen to the episode on Anchor.

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Ron:  Hello and welcome to Episode Three of Stereo Geeks. Today we'll be talking about what’s new in pop culture.

Mon: I’m Mon.

Ron: I'm Ron.

Mon: And this week we’re talking about The New Mutants.

Ron: This is a spoiler alert because we’ll be talking about the entire film, including the ending, so if you haven’t watched it yet, please watch the whole thing and then come back and listen to our podcast.

Please note, we will be discussing some triggering topics as contained within the film so, proceed with caution.

Ron: This film was initially intended for release in 2018, having been filmed in 2017, but it languished in production hell till 2020.

Mon: This year, it finally hit theaters, but because it was in the middle of the pandemic, most of us didn't go and watch it. Now that it's out on digital, we have some thoughts.

The film begins with Danielle Moonstar, played by Blu Hunt escaping the decimation of her village. She wakes up in a rehabilitation center, which is for mutants.

She is one of five students being supervised by Dr Cecilia Reyes, played by Alice Braga. The other students are Illyana Rasputin, played by Anya Taylor Joy; Rahne Sinclair by, played by Maisie Williams, Roberto Da Costa, played by Henry Zaga, and Sam Guthrie, played by Charlie Heaton. Let's talk about plot!

The film follows Dani as she gets to know these other mutants around her, tries to figure out what her power is, and tries to survive Dr Reyes’ experiments. Ron: There isn't much plot to speak of. It's very much a setup film, though there isn't any reason for us to believe that there's going to be a New Mutants 2. The majority of the film is spent with Danielle getting to know her fellow mutants and exploring their relationships. Though I would say that even there, the film doesn't really do a great job.

Mon: Yeah, there's a huge focus on the central relationship between Dani and Rahne. But the other characters, they're more antagonistic or just in the background. So it doesn't really develop her relation with them.

Ron: Yes, it comes across very much like the new girl being bullied, especially by Illyana though, that really doesn't do justice to the character as she appears in the comics. So, that was a bit of a surprise. Speaking of the backstories of these characters, we would say that really Rahne is the only one who has a similar backstory to the one that she has in the comics.

Mon: In the comics, Rahne comes from a small, very rigid, very religious community, and they freak out when she turns into a werewolf, because of her mutation. That backstory remains the same in the film, except now she’s been branded as a witch.

Ron: I didn't mind that particular inclusion. I think that made sense within the scope of the story. The other characters, there is no similarity between their stories in the film, and how we got to know them in the comic books.

Mon: Let's start with Dani herself. Why is there no mother in the picture? Ron: In the ‘Demon Bear’ storyline, which this movie is based on, Dani loses both her parents, and that actually does play a very large part in the conclusion. But the film only focuses on her father in the very opening scene, which was not edited very well, and we see him later on as well. Mon: Let's talk about Roberto.

Ron: I have to say I was so, so disappointed in Roberto Da Costa in this film. Sunspot was my favorite new mutant and the character in the film doesn't resemble the comic book character at all. Especially not his backstory which plays such an important part in not only his mutant powers, but the way he engages with the world.

Mon: I think the first warning that they wouldn't be doing ‘Berto correctly was the casting of Henry Zaga.

Ron: I'm sure Zaga is a very good actor. I haven't seen him in anything else, but I'm sure he's very talented. Unfortunately, he doesn't look anything like Sunspot in the comics. There is one integral part of his character arc that is completely missing from this film because Zaga has been cast in it.

Let me explain. In the comics, Roberto Da Costa belongs to a very rich family. He doesn't really understand his privilege. But he is also very dark skinned. Because of this, despite his privilege, he is bullied. It is while being bullied by fellow classmates that his powers activate.

Mon: ‘Berto in the comics is Afro-Latino, but they refused to cast character an actor who reflected the same heritage in the film, and that really does him a great disservice. Because race is an important part of ‘Berto’s characterization in the comics, but it's completely forgotten and the backstory that Berto is given in the film is boring. It is staid and it is another example of fridging.

Ron: In the film, Sunspot’s powers activate when he is having a romantic moment with his girlfriend, thus killing her in the most awful way possible. So, not only do they erase an extremely important part of his characterization, but they fridge his girlfriend who is then used as horror movie-material later on. Mon: Let's move on to Sam Guthrie. So, Sam is kind of the pseudo-leader in the comics. He's conveniently the leader because, I feel like the writers, at the time, weren't sure who they could give it to so they gave it to the southern white guy.

In the comics, he's very happy, he's a very positive guy. He's had hardships in his life, but he never lets it bring him down. He struggles with his powers, he's a cannonball, quite literally, and it's a difficult power to master. The film touches on the fact that Sam still struggles with mastering his power, but he's given this broody, overly dark backstory, which doesn't do the character any justice. Sam's storyline in the film really should have come with some kind of warning. Because Sam is essentially self-harming throughout. He's in a cast constantly, he is seen punching himself. Basically, it's quite disturbing to watch what happens. And it comes without context, and we'll come to the fact that a lot of what happens in the film is without context.

What we learn is that Sam was working in the mines with his father and several other men, and his powers accidentally activated and he killed, not only the other men, but also his father, and he's obviously struggling with what happened. And, and he's taking it out on himself. He's not able to grow, learn, or attach himself to anybody. So, this was a huge departure, again, from the comics.

Ron: And then finally we come to Illyana, whose backstory is also extremely different from the comics. When we first meet her, she is a very small child, who ends up in limbo and spends her formative years in that hellhole. But when she's rescued which is a few seconds after her disappearance, she's a teenager.

None of that, obviously made it into this film, understandably, because the budgets would not have allowed for it, though we do get glimpses of limbo. However, Illyana’s backstory appears to be about her being trapped somewhere and being abused. What did you think about her backstory?

Mon: I didn't feel like it was necessary to have that kind of backstory. What I will say is that this is the subtlest way of suggesting any kind of assault or abuse on any kind of character. They really worked hard to be sensitive to the topic, but at the same time I have to ask, why did Illyana need that backstory in the first place? Why can’t she just come from a poor Russian home? Why couldn't it be like a Dostoyevsky story? She didn't need that kind of background.

And I also felt like there were maybe one too many hints about what happened to her. I understand the need to pare down Illyana’s rather complicated, fantastical comic book origins, but they went the other extreme by making it a little too realistic.

Ron: They tried to marry some of the realistic elements of childhood abuse that we see in real life with the fantastical elements of her childish imagination of what these monsters were. I think that worked for them. But to keep coming back and for us to keep seeing small Illyana in that room, there were one too many moments that would have been triggering for anybody who has been in that situation in their life. So, basically there are two instances in this film where they should have added content warnings, and they had three years to do that, but they didn't.

Mon: And that's not the only thing they didn't fix in the three years. The CGI is terrible! When you're talking about a comic book adaptation, especially with the New Mutants, who are more fantastical, and have more imaginative powers, that requires a lot of special effects. I was disappointed with what we saw. We didn't actually see their powers in action as much as we saw some of the horror elements, and I'm sorry but that is the worst CGI I've seen.

After people have been shouting about how hard they've been working to make this product the best that they can, it honestly feels like this movie was made and somebody forgot about what to do with it. And then they just kept playing hot potato with it. They didn't embellish it, nothing. It's not like they tried very hard to make it the best story possible.

Ron: And I think the other problem is that from the very first previews, people had strong reactions to Zaga, to Heaton. There were a lot of people who were upset that an Afro-Latino character had been replaced by somebody who was lighter skinned. This is colorism and 2020 may have put colorism in the spotlight, but, in 2017, this was definitely something that people knew about.

There were also a lot of concern about Heaton’s casting. He was hot off the success of Stranger Things; it made sense to cast him in a movie like this. But he doesn't fit Sam Guthrie at all! I was extremely disappointed in Zaga and Heaton in this film. Not only did they not look like the characters, they had so little to do. 

The burden of carrying this film really fell on Blu Hunt and Maisie Williams. They did a good job. But there were also a lot of problematic elements around them. So, whatever they were doing was undone. For instance, Illyana is unnecessarily antagonistic towards Dani. She's also racist. She keeps calling her Pocahontas!

They did a good job. But there were also a lot of problematic elements around them. So, whatever they were doing was undone. For instance, Illyana is unnecessarily antagonistic towards Dani. She's also racist. She keeps calling her Pocahontas!

Mon: Yeah, I found that very disturbing and I didn't see any need for that.

Ron: Absolutely not. And 2017 was one year after Trump was elected. He made a lot of Pocahontas comments soon after coming into power. And a lot of people were very, very upset about that, and they were very vocal about that. Why would they put this into the film?

Mon: I think the whole ‘Pocahontas’ thing in the film is kind of reflective of how the director seems quite blinkered in his view? We have the Zaga issue. We have the racist comments against Dani Moonstar, as well. But there's a character missing in this film from the comics and she's integral!

Xi’an Coy Manh, who is the mutant Karma, is a Vietnamese immigrant who becomes the leader of the group. She is conspicuously missing from this film. Why is the Asian mutant, who was such an important part of the comics missing from the film?

Ron: I understand that for the majority of the ‘Demon Bear’ storyline, Xi’an was not there. But if you're making a film which introduces this particular group, you've got to have her.

Mon: I completely agree with you on that. It makes no sense. We were talking about how Heaton and Zaga really don't do much in film. I have to say, this is probably the first time I've seen a genre film where the two boys spend most of the time cleaning dishes and washing clothes, whereas the girls seem to be driving the story forward. It's hinted at that ‘Berto and Sam are becoming close friends, but you don't really see much of the relationship; it's just one montage where they're having a little bit of fun, but the three girls, there's a lot more to their relationship, especially between Blue Hunt’s Dani Moonstar and Maisie Williams’ Rahne Sinclair.

Ron: I was pleasantly surprised that from nowhere, we got this queer relationship. And it comes off the fact that Blu and Maisie obviously have a lot of chemistry. So, the film just went with it. From the very first time that Dani and Rahne see each other, there's this connection. And it just grows throughout the film, and they become a couple.

Mon: I couldn't believe it because, in the books, they're pretty much written as straight. Romance isn't a huge part of their storylines. But in this film, it's there from the very beginning. There's a scene soon after Danny wakes up, and she's struggling to cope with the death of her father, the death of her entire village, and Rahne really talks her down. It's really sweet, this interaction between two young people who are struggling to find themselves in a world that doesn't make sense. And it’s also a little bit funny.

Ron: In any other film, one of the characters would have been a man. But here, it's two girls. And it's one of the nicest moments in the entire film. Once again, a trigger warning is required. But it's a great moment. Because we have seen so many superhero films, and we're still waiting for those queer characters. And it didn't feel forced at all.

Mon: It definitely because, as you mentioned, the actors had so much chemistry between them. It's a friendly chemistry, and the story doesn't try too hard. It makes sure that they come together because they understand each other. Because Rahne is such a kindly character and Dani needs that at that point, she needs somebody who can just understand. And she also needs to know that other people are also suffering in some way, they have their own pain, so that she can open up herself.

Ron: I also liked was there were no salacious comments, no maliciousness towards that relationship.

Mon: They were no gratuitous scenes.

Ron: Exactly, especially when the characters are young, you know, it would have been very disturbing to watch that. We anyway had the whole thing with Illyana’s backstory. One of the things that we really get to see in genre cinema, that even if you have queer characters, if everybody around them is like, ‘oh, you're queer, or gay or trans’, that ruins the moment, because that is again singling out the marginalized character. We also need to talk about how them being a couple isn't the only driving force behind their characterizations. It is a part of what makes them grow and brings them closer. But it also plays a part in resolving some of the issues in the plot.

Mon: So, here's the problem. While this beautiful little love story is fleshed out throughout the film, everything else got left behind. There isn't really anything else. Even if this was supposed to be a character driven story, or a relationship building story, those are also left by the wayside. Because Illyana is antagonistic, when she comes to Dani aide, it's supposed to be seen as she's coming to help Dani out of a newfound-love for Dani, but it's not true. And I couldn't actually read it that way.

Mon: When I was watching the film, I couldn't understand why Illyana suddenly had this change of heart. She'd managed to fight the monsters from her childhood that had come to come to life. But why did that make her feel like she had to fight for Dani? It seemed more like all the other characters, barring Rahne, were fighting for survival. Ron: I agree. Even Sunspot. When he's in the church, it doesn't seem like he's trying to save Dani, or he's trying to help the others. He's just trying to protect himself. And Sam seems to have so little control over his powers that whatever he does do is always by accident.

What I also feel is that we've been skirting around the issue of the plot. And the problem is that there isn't much plot here. The structure of the story goes something like this. Dani meets her fellow mutants. They try to get to know each other. Mysterious things seem to be happening, and they all seem to be related to everybody's worst fears. As the film continues, we realized that those manifestations have a connection with Dani. And then we finally learn that Dani’s greatest fear is the demon bear.

Mon: The final arc of the film is the demon bear attacking the facility and Dani is incapacitated, which leaves the rest of the team to fight off the demon bear and protect her at the same time. This brings the team together, but it brings them together more for their own survival than for the protection of Dani or for any emotional connection that they have to her.

Ron: Also, the stakes in some ways aren't very high. We are used to seeing the very formulaic superhero ending on this huge battleground, so many faceless people in danger having to be protected. And this is much smaller. The new mutants are fighting their own inner demons. And that works in some ways, but it's also not earned. Mon: I think the lack of payoff in this film comes from the fact that there is no context to what we've seen. The context always comes after the fact. We see Sam self-harming but why? We don't find out until several scenes later. We see Illyana being haunted by these scary creatures. But who are they? Why do they look like that? We don't get an answer to that. Most of the other manifestations, they do become more realistic. Whereas with Illyana’s, for some reason, it remains these otherworldly creatures.

Ron: I kept thinking that at some point, especially in the third act, that the monsters would transform into people we would see that the people who were harming her were actually real men.

Mon: Either that, or it was all in limbo, and that’s why they looked like that. But we don't know because limbo is just hinted at during the last section of the film. We get glimpses of a lot of hellfire but not much else.

Ron: The only remaining aspect of limbo in the real world is Lockheed. For the longest time, he’s just a stuffed toy and then randomly in one scene, he turns into a real dragon.

Mon: As real as bad CGI can make it, anyway.

Ron: It’s sad honestly. We love Lockheed in the comics, but also Lockheed belongs to Kitty. So, why is Lockheed here with Illyana? I don't know.

Mon: I'd argue that that was an Easter egg that didn't belong.

Ron: Yes, and seeing Lockheed look like that was super disappointing. They had three years to get this film on our screens, they couldn't fix Lockheed? They didn't actually do anything once it was filmed once it was packaged, once that first preview came out. They just put it on a shelf and waited for it to be released in theaters.

Mon: Disappointing indeed. What are the other comic book elements that you spotted in the film?

Ron: Well, when we saw Dr Reyes’ screen, we could see Essex Corp. It took me a second before I realized that Essex Corp meant Nathaniel Essex, aka Mr. Sinister.

Mon: And throughout, Dr Reyes kept hinting at how her supervisor was in charge and we knew that she was basically following his orders. Since this mysterious character is such a fan-favourite and a huge part of the X-Men comics, we were expecting, at the end, perhaps a little glimpse of the man himself?

Ron: There have been X-Men stories where Nathaniel Essex has been part of the background and then right in the very last panel, there he is standing there in all his glory. We were kind of hoping for that to happen and we waited till the end of the credits. Nothing.

Mon: The film is connected to the main X-Men film universe. There are glimpses of where these young mutants are going to be taken, and these are scenes from Logan. The corporation from which Logan rescues X-23. They were obviously hoping for a larger universe which would include the new mutants, but it never came to fruition.

Ron: Which is again making me wonder, what was the point of this film? It doesn't really give us an hoped for New Mutants 2. In fact, once they have defeated the demon bear, and they've managed to get rid of Dr Reyes, they're leaving the facility, but they have no idea where they're going. As far as they know, there's nothing around them for miles. So, what is the point?

Mon: My biggest struggle with this film is that the new mutants do not lend themselves to a film or a film trilogy. The new mutants should be a TV series.

Ron: Especially since it has a large cast of characters. And if you had added the other characters, you would have had a good number of people to follow. That'll make for great television. I'm thinking about The Gifted, which was an X-Men spinoff. Unfortunately, it was canceled after two seasons but I enjoyed it. Not everybody else did, but I did. And that showed how an X-Men story in television form could work.

Mon: The thing with the X-Men universe is that it's an expansive universe and new characters are constantly being added to it. So, you can't reproduce that universe in just a few films. While the X-Men films, some of them have been very successful, but several of the characters were underserved. Cyclops is the leader in the comics; he got short shrift in the films. Jean Grey is a very powerful character in the comics, and she spends most of her time standing and waving her arms.

While the main X-Men series can still be carried by a handful of actors, with The New Mutants, they are a group, they're a band of youngsters who spend a lot of time getting to know each other and build their friendships together. The whole point of these characters is not just that they have to explore their powers, they also have to explore their own youth. They are young people that are growing up; they need to find out who they are as people. For these characters, the film being a one off, or even if it was supposed to be a trilogy, it doesn't work. The new mutants need to have episodic stories, which were the central theme of the comics.

Ron: It shouldn't be a horror story. I understand where they were going with that. Even within the comic books, the ‘Demon Bear’ storyline does lend itself to suspense but it's also very tragic. I think we need to move away from instilling fear in the viewer, and more about instilling some hope.

Mon: I also feel like the final product didn't quite live up to the anticipation of the original previews. The first trailer that we saw, it really made it look like the classic horror stories that we are so used to seeing. They're stuck in an asylum and scary creatures are coming at them. That's not what we got.

Ron: This was ‘Jumpscares: The Mutant Movie’. Especially that Sunspot scene in the swimming pool, with him and Illyana, which never happens in the comics, and it came off as super gross.

Mon: I still can't figure out whether that was Illyana or that was his imagination.

Ron: That's what I'm saying! ;Jumpscares: The Mutant Movie’. Look, in a horror film, you can have your own kind of logic, but that logic needs to follow a certain pattern. That scene didn't follow any pattern. It seemed like just an excuse for Henry Zaga to take his clothes off, which is not necessary in this film at all. And to put him and Illyana together as a potential couple, which also didn't work because the two characters had no chemistry. And there was no reason for them to want to be together. Mon: Yes, it is just one of the many, many missteps. Surprisingly, I don't feel like this film was the worst film ever made. I would say that it was a poor choice of subject matter and poor execution.

Ron: It's not a bad film. It's just boring. It doesn't try to push any boundaries. The only area where they did something different was with the relationship between Dani and Rahne and but aside from that, the story is very limited in its scope. And for that reason, having just seen The New Mutants, we are struggling to remember parts of it. Mon: So, let us know, what did you think about the New Mutants?

Ron: You can find us on Twitter @Stereo_Geeks. Or send us an email stereogeekspodcast@gmail.com

Ron: We hope you enjoyed this episode. And see you next week!

Mon: The Stereo Geeks logo was created using Canva. The music for our podcast comes courtesy Audionautix.

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Transcription by Otter.ai and Ron.

[imbellarosa]

Okay so every time people question individual lines of lyrics, all those BNFs in particular practically come at people's throats for merely asking a totally valid question. Look, I get it. I've been a Lit student. I get that you can't take everything literally bc often in poems esp, it's all a carefully constructed metaphor which you have to dig deep to understand. But in terms of lyrics, everyone is always prattling on about not taking it word for word, understanding it can refer to arguments

& just emphasising 'the whole picture' & DO NOT FOCUS ON THAT ONE LYRIC. But sometimes I am so lost, like with all those lyrics e.g. 'we were in love, now we're strangers' or 'Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too', what other way are you supposed to read them if not literally? I just don't understand. This is not a question craving reassurance that they're not broken up or whatever. I have faith in them, and I'm not looking for that. But really, at the end of the day,

3. I truly do not blame people for thinking that. I know all those BNFs LOVE to have their superiority complex and snub anyone who has doubts or asks questions about hl's lyrics bc gosh they've been there since day 1 and are NEVER wary/cynical of their lyrics bc hl are perfect & it's impossible they broke up (as if we actually know them??), but I get it. I don't have an anxiety attack over lyrics like that, I don't think they are broken up, but I am mystified as I mull over them to my wits end.

4. Alright whoops so I may have gone off a tangent (unexpectedly so) but I hope someone can at least see where I'm coming from. There was supposed to be a question in there haha but I just rambled on a lot. Since I admire your flair for reading lyrics like literature and really capturing the nuances of their writing in your analyses, I wanted to know, how do you deal with lyrics like that? What thoughts do you have and how do you read them more metaphorically when it seems far too literal?

hahahaha UR TRYING TO GET ME IN TROUBLE WITH OTHER FANS I SEE U ANON kasdjfkjdak but thats okay.  first of all i LOVE this rant let’s DISCUSS lyrics! I think there are two possible scenarios here, that we can explain in different ways, as long as we are in agreement that they at least fudged some parts of the truth. There was no two-year gap, just with the timeline, there was no uni, things like that. Those things have been shifted to fit with a narrative, and I get that - they’re storytellers! So, given that, I see two possibilities.

The first possibility is what I call Operation: Superman. By day, these guys are Superman, flying around, flashing their ability, being a rock star. By night, they’re mild mannered reporter Clark Kent who just wants to go on a date with their pretty coworker (I actually really love this metaphor lmao). This means that, just like Clark Kent (or Lois Lane I think she did most of the writing), the feelings behind the words they write are true (”Superman strives to be a symbol of hope, truth and justice”) while the actual words written (”Superman is an unidentified alien who likely is *insert massively untrue thing here* irl”). For these guys, that might mean that “We were in love, now we’re strangers” translates into “people used to see that we’re special to each other, and now they see us as strangers” (lmao @ the story that they wrote perfect in separate rooms), and “maybe one day you’ll call me, and tell me that you’re sorry, too” could translate into “we really got into it, and this feels like a delicate moment, and you SUCK at saying sorry, and I wish you would, because you were wrong, too”. Heartbreak comes in many different forms, and using one kind of grief to write about another is a tactic that I’ve used a lot in the past for my own healing process. So maybe that FEELING of being alone and lost and desperate for someone to reach out and see you is real, but the situation (i.e. ‘this is about a break up’) is made up. Goodness knows that much more has been made up for much less, and this way, no one knows who Superman really is. 

The second possibility is that they broke up for a period of time. Looking at some of the more extensive archives, if i had to guess when, I would say that it was likely Feb 2016-Oct/Nov 2016? Because Louis has talked quite a bit about how when his mother took a turn for the worse, his partner was really there for him, and how it brought them closer, and the lessons it taught him about being a partner. Let’s be clear: “we were having a hard time and they stepped up and we became stronger because of it” does not have to mean “we were on a break” - it could totally mean ‘we were fighting a ton and had no clue what would be next and it wasn’t fun anymore’. But if we take it to be that they were on a break, then the lie isn’t ‘we broke up’ the lie is ‘i was broken up with someone for a few years’. 

I can see the arguments for and against both of these possibilities, and idk which I’m more inclined to believe. Sometimes I’m like “they’re Superman!” and other times I think “eh, they probably did take a break in there somewhere”. So the way I look at the lyrics is as if the whole thing was a story, and I look at them in context of the larger story.:

The first step is “what is literally being said in this song”

The next one is “what is the theme of this song/the emotion driving it, and what does that say about the person writing it”

the third one is “where does this fit in the time it was written? who would have influenced the song? what was happening at the time?” 

And from that, just like from any book, we can build an analysis. I *really* feel that answering those three questions can tell you what you need to know about how literal any given song is! We can even do a quick run through - let’s do ‘Miss You’:

The song is literally saying that they miss the person they’ve been with for a long time, and that they wish they could go back to what they used to be 

The emotions driving the song are regret, loneliness, bitterness, and longing 

They were massively pushing ‘ reformed (ish) party boy Louis’ at the time, and the song fits that narrative well. When the song was released (Dec 2017) , he’d just gotten back together with Eleanor (Feb [?] 2017)so it would have been a reflection of that time they spent apart, and how he felt when he was alone. Given that we know he’s not actually dating Eleanor, we can assume that they narrative and the things that push that might also tilt towards “not literally true”. The song was written by 7 people, and any number of people could have taken the emotions driving the song and come up with different lines, and Louis could have connected with those lines for different reasons, some of them being more literal, and some more emotional/metaphorical. 

And then, taking all those components, you decide on what you think is the most likely read of that song. I can’t tell you what to think things are about, you know? No one can! I can only tell you what *I* think makes most sense when you put art in the context in which it was written, because nothing is ever created in a bubble.  

[ziracona]

How many people were tested just for others anyway? Gordon's wife and daughter, Daniel (the wiki says it was also for shoplifting but he was 16 so I call bs), literally everyone except Lynn and her husband in Saw III, and my memory past 3 is fuzzy but that one lying author's wife comes straight to mind. They weren't being tested for whatever John pretended his survival of the fittest policy was they were terrorized tortured and/or killed for basically nothing but the pain of the target.

Anon you’re so valid TuT 

ITS TRUE AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY IT!!! Also, I wrote this little part last, bc I just wanted to give fair warning that I went blind into a rage and wrote threethousand words about how much I hate John Kramer, full of very terrible language and spoilers for Saw 1-6, because I go that fucking feral at the sound of his name, and I can’t make everyone scroll past that so I’m putting most of it under the cut, but even if you decide you justifiably fear that rant and don’t read it, just know you are incredibly valid, and John can eat shit and die. Rant start:

John did that bullshit constantly! He would over and over put 1 (one) man he personally wanted to watch suffer on trial and sacrifice /scores/ of people for no reason. No trap, no way to escape, at someone else’s mercy completely or maybe with 0 chance even there bc JOHN KRAMER IS A SACK OF SHIT. 

He kills a house full of drug addicts in two, mostly just bc his wife worked w drug addicts and John hates drug addicts, and even though Amanda was in their literal exact same position she does jack shit to stop him and just watches people slowly have their organs deteriorate and start coughing up blood around her!! Including fucking Daniel! Who got an antidote but like, at the 11th hour. Do y’all even understand how biology works John and CO??? If you neutralize a poison after it has deteriorated parts of organs it might save your life but itS NOT A FUCKING HEALTH POTION. Poor Daniel Matthews probably will only live to be like forty tops if he’s super lucky because of that. And he did NOTHING!!! He had shoplifted bc he was going through a teen phase but he’s like sixteen! Everyone was dumb as shit as a teenager, and most people shoplift at some point in their life! It does not earn you slow deterioration of your organs! Poor kid not only watched a man burned to death in an oven, dude have his brains blown out, girl die of prolonged organ failure, and more shit, he himself /killed/ a man as a sixteen year old child to save Amanda Young because he’s got a good heart and is a good person, and that shit is awful! It’s traumatic to kill someone at any age, but as a teenager? And then he got knocked out by her and thrown in a tiny locked safe, tied up and gagged, and kept alive by an oxygen tank in an enclosed space after that massive trauma for or AT LEAST 24 HOURS ! He did NOTHING. It was all just a long-con sacrifice to get Eric Matthews to a specific location. Eric did some real shit, but god, even after everything Daniel did for Amanda and all John’s talk of innocents, neither of them ever even tell Eric he lived! Amanda just locks him up, fights, beats him to she thinks death, and then John keeps him locked up and isolated in a cell for months, only to make him choke himself slowly in a test he doesn’t actually get to participate in to keep a friend from being electrocuted. It’s all kinds of fucked.

Even Jeff did nothing worse than be depressed and obsessive and unavailable to his kid, all Lynn did was have a boyfriend after she and he separated (and tbh the only reason John took her was bc he wanted a doctor and hated her for being one of the docs who told him he had cancer bc John is a pettyass hypocritical stupid sack of shit!) I’m VIBRATING with hatred. Lynn was just a pawn in Amanda’s test! It never mattered if she kept John alive! It only mattered if Amanda decided to fucking shoot her!!! She did her task and died and JOHN KNEW THERE WAS A HIGH PROBABILITY AMANDA WOULD KILL HER AND DID NOTHING TO STOP IT BC JOHN CARES ABOUT NO ONE BUT HIMSELF THE FUCKING WORTHLESS LITTLE WORM. 

And the other victims in 3 are a poor college student who ran over someone on accident and feels massive guilt already and served jail time for it who gets his fucking limbs and then head all twisted off while begging for his life because JOHN KRAMER IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND SO IS JEFF TBH. BUT NOT AS BIG OF ONE. The poor girl who is stung up naked in a freezer and sprayed repeatedly with water till she is encased in ice and dead literally just saw the hit and run and ran away bc she was scared!!! Not to mention Jeff’s other kid who gets kidnapped and locked up as collateral! Even if she’s not hurt that’s FUCKING TRAUMATIZING FOR A YOUNG CHILD. And Allison Kerry did nothing wrong! Amanda kills her in the Angel trap literally just bc she’s investigating them! When he targets a detective John’s always like “Ho ho he, I am putting you on trial bc you are obsessed with your work”  LIKE, BITCH NO SHE FUCKIN AINT SHE DOIN HER GODDAMN JOB AND U DON”T WANT TO GET CAUGHT YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH THAT JUST LOOKING AT YOUR FACE CAUSES ME TO PRODUCE SO MUCH EXCESS EPINEPHRINE I COULD BOTTLE IT AND SAVE IT FOR LATER. I swear to god, if I had a grenade and I was in the room trapped with a still breathing John Kramer, I would kill pull the pin and take us both! FUCK I would pull the pin and then french kiss the grenade as thanks for letting me see that sack of shit go right to hell!

I don’t remember all of four bc it was really terrible, so I don’t have a lot of thoughts there except woof, but there was a lot of bullshit. Like John’s lawyer who did nothing but try to talk to him about finances enough it pissed John off got kidnapped, won his first game, and then got kidnapped again BC THAT SHIT HEAD SURE NEVER KEEPS EVEN HIS OWN GODDAMNED WORD and was made pawn in the game and then shot bc he didn’t have a chance to save himsefl!!! 

In Saw one, also, again, Adam was never being tested. He was just a pawn too. It was Gordon who got to decide to kill him or not, and ADAM LIVED TO SIX OR WHENEVER THE FUCK THE TIME WAS AND JOHN STILL LEFT HIM TO DIE BECAUSE HE”S A HYPOCRITICAL PIECE OF SHIT!!!! And he’s not interesting enough for Johns MASSIVE brainshlong that obviously is so full of right ideas and enlightenment you MICROPENISEDtrulyIDIOTIC self-centered human garbage!  He only took Adam at all bc he was there! He said the reason was Adam was pathetic! ADAM WAS DOING HIS BEST YOU CRUSTY ASS RED ROBED TURTLE LOOKIN MOTHERFUCKER. He was a freelance photographer in New Jersey in his early 20s during an economic collapse, and still nice enough to be taking care of stray cats you FUCKING sack of dogshit! 

And Gordon? All he did was tell John he had cancer! He was cheating on his wife too, but like, the reason John picked him was that!!! HE THOUGHT!! GORDON SOUNDED TOO COLD WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE HAD CANCER I FUCKING HATE JOHN KRAMER SO MUCH. John Kramer really will see someone smile not as big a smile as he thought they should have given him and be like: “Yo, is anyone going to corkscrew their eyeballs off?” and not even wait for an answer. I fuuuuukning hate him. And that little shitface thought it was somehow chill to order someone else to kill Gordon’s wife and eight year old child who had done JACK SHIT wrong ever if Gordon wasn’t willing to brutally murder a kid in his early 20s who had done nothing wrong????! WHAT THE FUCK. Mr. KRamer.. QUICK QUESTION. WHAT. THE. FUCK. You self-righteous, self-centered, pretentious, pettyass, sadistic motherfucking goddamn worthless excuse for anything!

In five he’s finally dead so I can : ) once. BUT HE STILL FUCKS UP SHIT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. SO I’m STILL MAD. All the people Hoffman kills are ppl John told him to, so HE STILL MOTHERFUKIN RESPONSIBLE. In 5 it’s a bunch of people responsible kind of for deaths of people in a low-income neighborhood. One guy was paid to torch an abandoned building, and eight people died in the fire, but he didn’t know anyone was there and feels terrible. He thought it was vacant, it was just arson. Another is a journalist who found out about the arson, and didn’t break the story bc guy 1’s father bribed him. There’s a fire inspector who learned the truth and was bribed by the guy’s dad not to tell too. A city planner who was bribed into selling permits for the land. And Brit, who was the girl who paid for the arson, bc she wanted to make an apartment complex, and maybe actually knew about the 8 people and might have deserved some real payback–it’s unclear???? Regardless. I want to add that the cops had been investigating, had a strong case, and were about to arrest them and hold these people accountable in a legal manner, which John knew bc HOFFMAN WAS IN HIS POCKET, and John so hated the idea of them facing justice justice, he kidnapped them. The fire inspector got dragged into saw blades by her throat and torn apart, the journalist died to a nail bomb, and the city planner got electrocuted in a bathtub. The two who made it had their arms split down the middle up to the elbow to let enough blood out to save them.  I cannot. Just.

Anyway. In six, again at DEAD JOHN WHO WON”T QUIT FUCKING EVERYTHING UP’s request, a ‘game’ is played and William Easton (one of my fave protagonists bc he’s a piece of shit but damn if he didn’t have a real glow up in forty-five minutes) is thrown into a hell circuit. 

And so, undeservingly, is like, EVERYONE he fucking knows! His janitor Hank is first up. Target for…what was it? OHhhhhh right. He smokes. That was why. That makes so much sense john I’m sorry I doubted you PSYCH I CAN"T EVEN SAY IT AS A JOKE I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH JOHN QUICK Q? WHAT THE FUCK? oh wait it’s because your an ABSOLUTE BASTARD. You would think I would get desensitized but no. It just. It’s fuel on the flame of my rage.

William Easton and the janitor, Hank, are hooked into something that slowly tightens and crushes their ribs any time they take a breath, and whoever doesn’t die first gets to live, and poor goddamn Hank smoked so ofc he can’t outlast a healthy dude in his 30s and John crushes his ribs just to make William watch someone die. Then he makes William pick which of two people to save in trial 2. MEANING HE GODDAMN STRAIGHT UP KIDNAPPED THESE TWO TOTALLY FINE WITH EITHER DYING, IN FACT WITH THE SOUL PURPOSE BEING TO DIE bc who cares about them right John? You fucking pretentious self-righteous creep! I have a year of the Pig teddy bear I named after Peter Strahm JUST for the FUCKING satisfaction of knowing John would hate that bc he was so into year of the motherfucking pig. ANyway. Plot again. Poor file clerk at Williams firm and the poor secretary are the two targets, and literally they did jack shit!!! They work for shitty lawyers but all they do is clock in to a 9-5 and file shit!! They are literally just there to rub it in William’s face that insurance policies aren’t fair bc according to them, one of the humans is worth more than the other bc health and age, but uuuuh oohhh William the older one with health issues is p hard to kill face to face bc you know her and she has kids and the young healthy man in his early 20s family is dead and he doesn’t have friends which means according to John he is worth less bc JOHN DOES THINK YOU CAN CHOOSE BETWEEN LIVES and all of this is here just bc John somehow thought it would be fun to fucking WIN A GODDAMN “I’M RIGHT” ARGUMENT WITH A LAWYER at the expense of brutally hanging a human being with barbed wire!!! 

Sidebar–if John Kramer was a real human being, I would go yearly on a fucking pilgrimage to his grave just to SPIT on his stupid corpse. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. 

K so young man dies. Then test 3 his attorney dies too, I don’t know much about her, except she is just there to make William feel like shit and they were into each other, and she tries to kill William after he gets hurt trying to save her bc he has the key to her trap in his stomach or chest idr, but she doesn’t get the key in time and dies, and then test 4 he finds his associates strapped to a carousel with a shotgun that picks one at random and blows off their head, and has to let all but two of them get gunned down and choose which two not to kill. And again, they’re kind of shittyass lawyers, but uh. Yeah. To save two, he has to let this huge piece of metal rip through his hand, but William does it and destroys his hand to save the two he can, and suffers picking while they all beg him to pick them bc John wanted to see him suffer picking between human lives again because he’s a goddam self-centered stuck up jerk who vales human life less then admiring his ugly ass dick in the mirror every day and pretending he’s a member of Mensa, the evil utterly irredeemable sack of shit. Anyway, at the end, William has never had a chance to live or die at all! And John was literally just torturing him for fun and killed /all/ those people not even for a test for William but /solely/ to make him suffer bc human lives DON"T MATTER ONE FUCKING IOTA to JOHN SHITASS KRAMER. WHO JUST WANTED TO WIN. AN INTELLECTUAL ARGUMENT. POST-MORTEM. BECAUSE he’s THAT kind of shittyass, pretentious, sanctimonious, better than thou, always right, incapable of wrong, smartest fucking asshole in the room man!!! I bet he doesn’t ever wash his hands when he takes a piss! I KNOW IT! FUCK John Kramer! 

ANd OH! William gets killed by a kid who hates him bc he turned down their father’s insurance policy fraudulently, knowing he would die of an illness without the money. BC William was terrible. Which is /so/ great for that fucking teenager! Killing someone horribly with acid while you watch them die and their body be melted! And they beg you not to do it and apologize on the other side of bars, already beat to shit, and plead for forgiveness, and your mom begs you not to, and the dude’s sister sobs and begs you not to!!! SO GOOD! Way to go john you FUCKING CUNT, they definitely value their lives now you goddamn motherfucking souless sack of shit!

I-I don’t even have the energy to do the other Saw movies or go back over the other victims in Saw one WHO DID NOTHING WRONG. John just hated them!!! BC HIS WIFE KNEW THEM! In most cases! John just fucking hates drug addicts! OK u know what here’s the short version even if I can’t do them justice rn bc I’m pissed!!! One guy got sliced to death on razor wire for cutting when he was depressed bc John is a piece of shit, one got burned to death after walking on glass for hours bc John doesn’t believe in invisible illnesses and if you’re walking you must be healthy, oh yeah! And the fucking dude Amanda killed in her first trial was just a drug addict! Going to a recovery clinic! He never had a chance to live on his own bc the only choice was if Amanda would cut open his intestines and sift through him for a key while he was awake but too drugged to move or not, and she did! Didn’t even get to plead for his life! ANyway!!!! Fucking as far as I can tell all Zep did was work at the goddamn hospital! He WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE NICE TO JOHN and told other people he was a cool dude!!! He was just a janitor!!! WHAT THE FUCK???

I just. God. I hate everything about John Kramer. The way he talks makes me so LIVID I change color like a goddamned chameleon. He is so ready to argue his stupid shitty fucking ethics with anyone who breathes in a ten mile radius. Shithead John over here will strap you to a table and make you listen to him talk about how it’s not his fault he poisoned two people and gave them one antidote and a bunch of knives and one of them came out dead, and his hands are clean and people don’t value their lives so they should die while he watches eating fucking cereal I am just–I am so glad John has cancer? Like, the idea of Saw sans John having cancer is unbearable, because I am so afraid the writers would never let him die and we would never be free of the human cancer that is John. The only human being on the planet that has ever been able to make me root for the cancer. But boy in that one and only regard, John is special.

I hate him so much it is unbelievable. Like. I can’t even put it into words. THe pure, unbridled fury I feel when I hear John say, “D’oh ho ho, but I, with these two little handies of mine, hath never pulled the gun’s trigger! Got you there! Where is your science! Where is your god! I am no murderer! I heal people! By sawing off their faces! You just do not understand, oh poor unenlightened human that you are. May you be strapped to a machete car and blessed with my wisdom ��😔” I absolutely lose control of 90% of normal human functionality, and all that I have left is righteous justice and bloodlust. It’s unbelievable.

Whichever one of you god-mode-brain peeps made that post saying Eric Matthews had the hardest test in the whole Saw franchise because he had to sit and listen to John Kramer talk for two hours was a GODDAMNED HERO and if you contact me and prove the tumblr account is yours I will paypal you ten dollars and a personalized note thanking you for the joy that gave me because I just really hate John Kramer that FUCKING MUCH. I would cut off my own toes to be able to have something to shove down John Kramer’s throat to make him stop. talking.

There are a lot of things in this world I hate bc I hate things that are unjust, but I hate absolutely nothing more in the universe than a villain who is a self-righteous, hypocritical asshole who won’t even admit that what they are doing is wrong and parades as the tragic genius hero despite knowing GODDAMN well that they are a petty, shitty, hypocritical, absolute fucking MONSTER with no redeemable qualities or capacity for love. And John Kramer is at least my second least favorite character in the history of ANYTHING. Maybe my first. I’m not even sure anymore! Nasty-ass, evil, pretentious, self-righteous, shortsighted, selfish, sadistic, voyeuristic, willfully ignorant, crusty ass useless soulless garbage little SHIT.

[takeyourcritique]

Makoto Niijima: Good Girl, Bad Writing.

In video games, movies, TV, and books, there are always characters who receive copious amounts of praise. In Persona 5, it is no different. Some characters deserve the hype they get, and some.. do not. In my humble opinion, Makoto Niijima falls into the latter category and in this essay I will explain why, as well as delve into what I as a writer would do to improve her character. Because this is not a hate meta, it is merely me articulating my issues with her character and getting my thoughts in order. (She has potential, it merely needs to be utilized and with P5R coming next year, a girl can hope.)

1. Underwhelming Design

The cast of Persona 5, in contrast to the casts before them, are vigilantes, a band of misfits if you will. The entire theme of the game is rebellion against society and fighting the norm, and the characters should reflect this in their design. The only exception is the protagonist himself because he's on probation and attempting to keep a low profile: that's why he follows the dress code to a tee and appears as gentle as possible, because he's already in enough trouble as is. The first party member, Ryuji, has been a rebel for a good amount of time: his hair is a stark blond (which Kawakami-sensei does not approve of) and he wears a very casual version of the school uniform; substituting a bright yellow shirt for the white of the uniform, wearing sneakers instead of dress shoes, and not wearing his suspenders (they're attached though, at the waist).

Ann Takamaki wears a white clover hoodie under her blazer, red leggings under her skirt, brown lace up boots, and earrings; not to mention her hair, while a natural blonde, is pulled back into cutesy pigtails almost like a teenage Harley Quinn. Yusuke doesn't even go to the same school, so his attire stands out in stark contrast with the main trio. Futaba dyes her hair red and she doesn't go to school at all due to severe anxiety; Haru wears a poofy pink sweater over her uniform with Mary Janes and polka dot tights. They all stick out like little sore thumbs. Except Makoto. She basically also follows the dress code, with a few subtle changes:

•She doesn't wear a blazer, instead wearing a black halter vest over her turtleneck

•Black tights

•Brown boots

That's literally it. Nothing about her stands out, and even in her casual clothing she wears a lot of whites and blacks. There's a monochromatic vibe to her, perhaps alluding to her strong sense of justice and distinction between right and wrong which in and of itself isn't bad! But it doesn't fit with the theme of the cast, Makoto fits in too much with the rest of the world to fit in with them. Just by looking at her, you cannot tell she's supposed to be part of the crew and in all honesty she'd fit better working with Akechi due to their very similar views of justice and morals. Hell, some NPCs are more vibrant design-wise than Makoto is.

2. Her Metaverse design, Persona and codename are contradictory.

Makoto's Persona, Johanna, is based most likely off Pope Joan, (after doing research online and reading Johanna's profile on SMT wiki it seemed the best fit) who was a woman that pretended to be a man in order to rise to power in an otherwise male-only role in the Catholic church. And while the story is intriguing, it doesn't fit Makoto at all: she never pretended to be what she was not and while she's "the voice of reason" she's not the leader of the team; Joker is. This makes her codename, "Queen", even more confusing. Nothing about her costume design looks regal whatsoever; it makes no sense. It feels like writer's favoritism, in all honesty. A better name would've been something more related to the fact that she looks like a biker/executionist hybrid; like "Crusher" or something of more..violent nature.

Even a name related to her wanting to go into the force would've worked well: Chief, Lieutenant, etc. Queen is nice, but it doesn't click with Makoto at all, unlike literally everyone else's Persona and codename. Ann's Persona, Carmen, is a femme fatale that kills men. Captain Kidd is a pirate, an iconic symbol of rebellion; Milady, Haru's Persona, is a reference to a villainess of the same name in the 3 Musketeers; Goemon was essentially a Japanese Robin Hood which fits Yusuke's entire kitsune/warrior aesthetic. Joker's Persona, Arsene, is a direct nod to Arsene Lupin; who was one of Sherlock's rivals and a gentleman thief who left calling cards to the people he robbed and a direct parallel to Akechi.

3. Her introduction as a whole, and to the team, is abysmal.

When Makoto is first introduced to the player, the entire school is in turmoil over Kamoshida's abusive actions towards the volleyball and track team. Many people don't know the truth about what's going on, and others simply turn a blind eye because as an Olympic medalist, the gym coach brings in a lot of popularity for the school. Being the student council president, Makoto has power that many other students do not have; so one would assume that upon learning that a victim was in danger she would spring into action, no?

Wrong.

When Ann confronts Makoto about her inaction, she turns the question back on the blonde, asking "What have YOU done for Shiho?" as if it's Ann's fault that Shiho had been jeopardized (which it was not, Ann allowed herself to be blackmailed by Kamoshida in order, so she thought, to protect her best and at the time, only friend). And she doesn't do anything about the situation, claiming that "It has nothing to do with me." (This is how abuse victims DIE.) Even worse, her elder sister is a prosecutor, she could've easily gone to Sae and asked her to look into the matter. Goro Akechi later calls her out on this, as he should; telling her that she is a "good-girl pushover". And when Kamoshida is punished for his crimes, Ann, who was bullied and outcast, goes to Makoto and apologizes to HER to make amends, as if she were wrong. Makoto then replies "We both made mistakes" in a sorry apology (she doesn't even say "I'm sorry" iirc), and asks if she can call Ann by her first name and without honorifics, which in Japan is a symbol of close friendship. (Edit: this apology actually takes place after Kaneshiro's arc, not Kamoshida's, I misremembered.)

You see, calling someone by their given name, even if you are the same age, has a ton of meaning in the culture. Just a year difference between two people can separate them as senpai and kouhai, and while the senpai can call their kouhai by their first name without raising any eyebrows it's not the same for the younger person. Calling someone by their given name in Japan is a privilege, not a right; it represents trust, respect, everything that Makoto and Ann did NOT have.

Now, let me get this straight.

Makoto did nothing when everybody called Ann Kamoshida's hoe, allowed her, Shiho, Akira, Ryuji and Mishima plus many others to suffer abuse (and Shiho attempted suicide!), gave a laughable apology, victim-blamed Ann; and now she wants to be buddy-buddy? What, in any reality, about that is okay? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But of course, because the writers want us to love Makoto, they have Ann forgive her and let her call her by her first name. And after all that, Makoto is still president, despite her clear nonchalance to the matter. She also does nothing to help the Kamoshida victims after his crimes come to light, when there was literally no excuse anymore not to assist them and help them get back on their feet. Even if she felt powerless with Kamoshida around, that doesn't explain her inaction after he's gone.

Flash forward two Palaces later, when she joins the team. Makoto stalks the protagonist around to gather evidence that he is a Phantom Thief, and then blackmails her way into the ranks. The team of course, is not happy about this at all. Makoto gives them the target; Junya Kaneshiro, who's basically forcing people into debt. The problem here is she has literally no personal ties to him; unlike the main trio all having connections to Kamoshida and Yusuke being Madarame's essential foster son. Tired of Sae calling her useless, Makoto jumps in front of the mob boss's car in desperation (and Ryuji gets her out of the way JUST in time, but he very easily could've died) which puts the entire team in danger and later on is literally pinned down by the mob and the crew have to go and save her because she was so determined to take this dude down she walked into the lion's den without any form of a plan. (He was also going to sell her into prostution to pay off the debt he'd given the Thieves.)

Her Awakening is also really weak: the speech from Johanna is extremely short and then Makoto stomps the ground to avoid falling over, rips off her mask with a bunch of overdramatic screaming (iirc we don't even get to see blood) and whoop-di-doo, she's got a motorcycle! And suddenly, despite all she's done, everybody loves her and thinks she's a total badass when she literally just threw an adult-sized tantrum. The motorcycle itself is also very lazy, it's just a motorcycle with a face. That's it. That's Makoto's Persona. A motorcycle. With. A. Face.

And from then on, everybody's suddenly a-ok and buddy-buddy with Makoto. It's ridiculous and just makes her come off as a Mary Sue because if somebody endangered my life I sure as hell would not be rubbing shoulders with them and I'm quite sure most people feel the same way. And again, after all this, Makoto does not get in trouble or even harshly reprimanded by the school for her extremely reckless actions; when she should have, and had the power to, just call the police or Sae. And all the Thieves somehow are now her friends and she gets to become a superhero.

So let me see if I understand. This girl stalks these people, blackmails them and forces them to go after hardened criminals (she was going to snitch on them if they didn't comply to her demands), goes in guns blazing by HERSELF to attempt to take down the mob boss, has to be rescued..

And gets praised and dubbed a badass for this???

And before you accuse me of having bias against Makoto, let it be known I in no way, shape or form condone Yusuke stalking Ann or Futaba blackmailing the Thieves either. It's. Still. Wrong.

Also, if you unironically think Makoto's stalking is cute, you're wrong. Stalking is creepy, regardless if it's a girl or guy doing it; no one gets a pass.

In addition, Makoto couldn't be bothered to help out at school but then goes after a MOB BOSS and puts herself in unnecessary danger? What's up with that?? If she felt powerless against Kamoshida, why in the world would she take on the Yakuza?

4. Her backstory doesn't mesh well with the rest of the team.

The gang are all outcasts and misfits in one way or another, and their pasts are less than savory.

Protagonist: Falsely accused of assaulting a woman, expelled from school and sent to Tokyo on a year probation despite his innocence, victim of nasty rumors by other students at his new school; abused by his gym coach, no contact with parents.

Ryuji: Abusive, alcoholic father who beat him and llater left him and his mother, abused by his gym coach, leg broken by his gym coach and labeled as a delinquent because his coach lied and acted like Ryuji attacked him, thus alienating him from the track team and by extent; the entire school. Losing his track scholarship because he can't run anymore, ruining his academic career.

Ann: Two parent household but they're never home, leaving her with a caretaker. Faced bullying and isolation due to being biracial (she's a quarter American), only having one friend before joining the Phantom Thieves. Blackmailed by the gym coach and sexually harassed in order to keep this one friend on the volleyball team, labeled as a slut because no one took the time to find out the truth of the matter. Friend is later raped and attempts suicide, Ann attempts to get help from the student council president but is blamed herself for Shiho's predicament. Also judged just for her looks, which she despises.

Yusuke: Biological father died presumably before his birth, biological mother had a seizure and died due to his mentor's negligence. Said mentor then takes Yusuke, a very small child at this point in time, and raises him in isolation. Psychologically (and very likely emotionally) manipulated, Kitagawa grows up in an abusive household and when confronted with the truth, is unwilling to believe it is so (as many abusive victims realistically behave). Later learns the truth about his mother and his mentor's plagiarism and detaches himself from him, but is extremely socially awkward out of touch due to isolation and as a result is isolated at school because no one wants to talk to him.

Futaba: Was blamed for her mother's death (whom she lost at 13-14) and lived with an extremely abusive uncle who underfed her and didn't even let her bathe herself. Developed severe anxiety and became suicidally depressed for over a year, refusing to even come out of her room. Had a friend who was abused by her parents and upon finding out the two fell out and only reconciled years later through the Internet. Bullied in school for her intellect.

Haru: Lost her mother at a young age, engaged against her will to an emotionally abusive, selfish fiancé for the sake of her father's company. Has deep-rooted trust issues due to people being kind to her solely because of her status; or mean for the exact same reasons. Later on lost her father as well at the age of 17, leaving all the responsibility of the company to her as she was the sole heir.

Morgana: Has no memories of who, or what, he used to be and suffers existential crises; suffers from vivid nightmares. Puts up a façade of arrogance to hide insecurities.

Makoto: Mother died when younger, father died in the line of work, older sister forced to become caretaker and work her rear off to provide for the both of them. Pressured into perfection by Sae.

That's.. literally it. Yes, she has no friends at school, but that's by her choice; she isolates herself in her studies and as a result is socially awkward and doesn't know how to interact with people (which makes her even less suitable to be put into any type of leadership position so how she became student council president is beyond me.) Makoto's life is heaven compared to the other Thieves and most of her issues would go away once she gets to college: the rest of the team doesn't have that luxury. By the way, please don't think I'm saying she doesn't deserve to be on the team because she doesn't have as deep a sob story, I'm not saying that at all. It's just that her backstory isn't really utilized as well as it should be and often times conflict is used to try to get the player to feel sorry for her (i.e. Sae calling her useless)

5. Her Confidant is abysmal and cliché.

So Makoto's Confidant actually starts out not half bad! You take her out to play video games and help her come out of her shell initially. But then it shifts to Eiko, an old friend of hers, who is a bad relationship. And this is when the Confidant begins to suffer, because it's not even about Makoto anymore. The president tells Eiko about the danger she's in, and her old classmate does not listen; declaring that since the older girl does not have a boyfriend she couldn't possibly understand. This logic is very flawed; it's like telling a smoker to stop smoking and they tell you "You don't even smoke, you don't know how bad it is". Yet Makoto listens to Eiko and comes to you, the protagonist; and asks you to pretend to be her boyfriend in order to convince her friend that she DOES understand. But it's so awkward Eiko's boyfriend and the girl herself can tell you're not genuine. And you have to keep this up for the rest of the Confidant, not to mention MAX Charm is required from Rank 5 onward in this route. Why?

Because apparently you're not attractive enough otherwise. And it's not even for Makoto, it's for Eiko, to convince her that you're hot enough to compare to her boyfriend; Takase. (Geez, shallow and childish much?) And then at the end of the Confidant, the romance angle comes off as very odd because you're literally treated like an afterthought the entire time and then suddenly Makoto turns around and wants you as her actual boyfriend?? Uh..where was her falling for you during the time spent together? It just feels like it comes outta nowhere, not to mention she wants to be a cop which the law literally ruined Joker's life soooo why is he getting into a romantic relationship with someone who wants to be associated with a source of his trauma? That's like a metaphorical slap in his face.

"Hey, I know you were literally beaten and drugged up, manhandled, falsely accused and put into solitary confinement by the law enforcement, causing you to suffer severe anxiety and you to possibly be scarred forever but I wanna be a cop even though I don't think straight in stressful situations and act on impulse and don't take insults or criticism well; and I want you to stay by my side even though I blackmailed you, stalked you, and endangered your life and did nothing while you were being abused by your gym coach."

(Let's not forget she also didn't say anything about Sae having a Palace until it was almost too late and Joker almost lost Futaba as a result.)

For Valentine's Day she declares "I've been waiting for you for so long" and that genuinely bewildered me because you don't really see her pining at all during her Confidant, nor during other events (the closest thing you get is her clinging to you in Sojiro's house but that's honestly not even romantic that's just her getting frightened and needing assurance in a very unnecessary "ship tease" moment). Same with the scene in Futaba's Palace, while Joker saving Queen was very sweet, he literally would've done that for anybody of his teammates. Makoto is not special in that regard.

6. How to better this character

•Introduce her to the Thieves in a better, more plot driven way, or remove her from the team completely.

Kaneshiro's arc should honestly just be scrapped, it was a sorry attempt to get Makoto on the team. A better time for her to join would be Sae's Palace since she actually has emotional ties to the Palace owner and by this time in the game could've developed to be a better person from the Kamoshida arc, wanting to make things right. This could also be a good start for her and Ann to begin to be on better terms- not even necessarily friends (because after what happened I honestly don't think Ann would want to be friends, at least not close), but learning to at least be civil. That, or she joins out of desperation because she doesn't want anything bad to happen to Sae and as the infiltration continues gets more and more nervous and ultimately rats their plan out (because Makoto as the traitor would be much better, writing-wise).

Alternatively, Hifumi joining instead of Makoto would also be very refreshing with Makoto covering up for them at school and supporting them on the sly.

•Treat her flaws as actual flaws, she's not perfect.

Makoto does have some bad traits, a few being:

•bad tempered

•reckless

•stubborn

•nosy

•hypocritical

•bossy

•socially awkward

But these are almost never treated in a negative light. With the Kamoshida arc and Kaneshiro arc, all is simply forgiven, same with her smacking Eiko across the face in a moment of anger. Even when wrong, Makoto is never wrong per say and this makes it difficult for her to be believable as a character. To fix this, having her suffer the consequences of her actions will make it more realistic. For example, getting Eiko to break up with her boyfriend but cutting ties with her too as a result would give Makoto the rude awakening that you can do the right thing the wrong way and people will not always forgive you for the mess you put them through (nor should they).

Her being punished for unnecessarily putting herself in danger with Kaneshiro would also be understandable (she should've been at least suspended, she could've gotten herself killed, plus all the then existing Phantom Thieves); as well as actually apologizing for the hell that was Kamoshida's drama. And not just to Ann, but everyone who suffered. That would show maturity and a willingness to change, and put her in a better light.

I want Makoto to get mad and she's fully in the wrong and she acknowledges she's wrong, have her recklessness get her or a teammate wounded in battle, etc. And have the others call her out when she's wrong and refuse to let it slide. Have them talk it out, grow as a team. Just..make Makoto fallible, flawed, broken even. She's an orphan, I want to touch more on her having to grow up quickly, feeling lonely and unsure of how to connect with people; talk about how her father is a driving force in her values and morals and how she wishes to honor him by following in his footsteps.

Delve into how she feels less than worthy if she does not achieve excellence but do it in a way that does not demonize Sae unnecessarily and try to make the reader/player feel sorry for her. Have Makoto spend more time with people in her team outside of team duties and while being awkward, genuinely interested and actively working to better her relationships. (She barely interacts with anyone besides Joker, Futaba, and on occasion, Haru) When Makoto is realistically flawed, she then becomes relatable and much more likable.

I want her fears to be plot relevant, not just slapped on for the sake of making her look "cute". Her being scared of the dark was never relevant, unlike Rei from Persona Q who was scared of the dark and had to go through a pitch black room in order to find key cards to help her friends escape a locked room or Yukari being terrified of death and having to come to terms with that. Same with her fixation for Buchimaru, it's cute but it doesn't add any depth to her character whatsoever or even her apparently knowing aikido? We never see Makoto fight outside the Metaverse unlike Chie or Akihiko so it feels like a character trait just slapped on to make her 'cooler'. It feels lazy, because it is. It's like the writers wanted her to be this strong, independent young woman but at the same time a scared, awkward little girl and the two ideas often clash; coming off as contradictory as if they couldn't make their minds up as to who they wanted Makoto to be.

Again, this is not an attack on Makoto fans. If you like her, that's valid and I respect that. I'm merely explaining why I don't and how I feel the writing failed her character and what I believe she'd be if her potential was maximized.

That's all, have a good day.

[film-clown]

Holy shit. So I’ve just watched 13 Reasons Why, season 3.

I know I cry at pretty much everything but god fucking damn, this show hit. It hit in every way possible and it is absolutely their best season. They talked about such important issues in the real world such as ICE and abortion rights, and they carried the sexual assault storyline better than ever. I think, almost every plot line was done very, very well. I’m gonna discuss everything from the show, so spoiler alert if you haven’t watched it.

First and foremost, I’d like everyone to give a huge standing ovation for Devin Druid’s performance this season. I cannot even BEGIN to express the way each and every one of his scenes moved me. They obviously continued the story of his assault by Monty, and they did it damn well. This storyline also very well showed that a person can move on, heal, and better themselves from mistakes they make. Tyler changed, with the help of amazing friends and a support system. I loved it, truly. I’ve seen many comments about how this was the show’s way of making viewers feel bad for a school shooter, and honestly? I’m not going to look at it that way. Second chances are how the world runs, but I’ll get into that later.

Now speaking of Monty... LOOOOOOOOOOOLL

Alright so.. I kinda saw this coming? 💀💀

I mean, kinda. But not really. I feel like as much as people would call Monty’s plotline this season toxic, due to the internalised homophobia, I’m going to choose to look at this as something people genuinely go through.

As a male jock, in high school, it’s a HUGE joke to be gay. Unfortunately, slurs are always thrown around, and even if you aren’t homophobic, the energy that jocks give out about the LGBT+ community will surely make you into that. So honestly? The demonstration of how Monty felt throughout the season when it came to his sexuality was accurate.

Now this little bit is gonna be my soft side talking - don’t attack me for it. The scene in the last episode where Monty finally goes up to the guy from Hillcrest and isn’t a dick to him, I can’t describe how that made me feel. And when Monty’s dad later came to visit him in prison, and spit on his face because he figured out he was gay? That shit made me sad. If you’re gonna spit on his face, do it because of what he did to Tyler. Not because he’s gay. Fuck.

In conclusion, I think Monty had some potential. Some. I don’t think he deserved to die though, and he certainly did not deserve to be blamed for Bryce’s death just because he’s dead.

Jock culture is so toxic. It was strongly established this season with both this plotline and the assault one (gonna get to that later) and I hope the world watches this show and takes some action. I don’t give a fuck what you’ve done in your life, nobody deserves to not love, or be loved.

I really feel bad for Monty to have grown up in such a toxic environment, with a piece of shit homophobic dad and that jock culture. The scene where Winston says, “You can be whoever you want to be” and Monty says “No.. I can’t.” Yeah I’m sorry but that scene broke me.

PSA: Monty’s still a dick. This is just my lil gay self talking.

Also, Timothy Granaderos and Deaken Bluman are so sexy. Thank you for listening.

Now fuck. GOD DAMMIT YO. Tony Padilla’s storyline fucked me up.

As much as I cried half the time, I’m so glad the writers brought up the misuse and abuse of ICE towards POCs in America. It broke my heart into so many pieces when viewers found out that his family had been deported and/or held in detention centres. It is so not fair. And to think that there’s countless families in our real world who are suffering through this shit. :(

I love Tony and Caleb so much. Imagine finding somebody who loves you THAT much. I’m glad that after showing a toxic gay “relationship” (Monty and Winston) they showed something as beautiful as this. Definitely one of the best parts of this season.

Speaking of relationships... wow.

I loved them. Like truly. First of all; the SEXIEST couple I’ve ever seen in any series. Also I think my emotional connection with them is cause they literally came back to each other...

...and they stayed together. Through everything that happened this season, they stuck together (for the most part, lol) and I loved that. The love triangle of Alex, Jessica, and Justin was weird though.

I also really, really loved Jessica’s journey on loving her body again. And treating herself right. It’s good that they brought up female masturbation in this season too, the stigma really needed to be broken. I’m so proud of her 🥺.

Okay and, wow. Justin’s reveal on being a survivor.. my god. One thing that’s really good about this show is, it highlights that men can also be sexually assaulted, or raped. And, that does not make you any less of a man. Society needs that reminder.

Also. I love Justin so much. So so much. But I’ll make a separate post for my man.

The brotherly relation between Justin, Clay, and Zach. My favourite thing to come out of this season. I’m so glad that the realest people in this show found a brother in one another.

The adventure of Justin settling into Clay’s family was a heartwarming thing to watch, as well.

This scene made me cry SO much. Clay coming back from hearing about what happened to Tony’s family, to tell his parents he loves them and making sure he’s thankful that he has them. I love this family so fucking much. It was a true wake up call for me too. I went and sat with my mum after watching this. Even if your relation with your parent(s) is rocky, please never take their place in your life for granted.

Alright. The best fucking scene from this ENTIRE show. All 3 seasons. This scene was: it.

You can watch Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.

I cried start to finish on this one. Viewers also find out that Justin is a survivor, and I.. wow. Fuck. I literally have no words for everything to do with this.

This scene is so important for everyone to watch. It’s important for survivors to watch this to know that they’re not alone. You are never alone. And to those who haven’t been a victim of assault, please stand by those who have. Please support them, fight for them. The justice system is cruel to survivors, and unity within society is what can get us through another day. It can make things better.

Honestly I suck with words. Go watch the scene and hear what Jessica says.

Alright, now it’s time for the most controversial topic of 13 Reasons Why; Bryce Walker.

I’ve seen a lot of people say that the show is shitty for trying to sympathise and make viewers feel bad for Bryce - and I’d like to agree to disagree. Bryce is awful, the fact that he raped so many girls and did such horrible things to so many different people will neither be forgotten, nor forgiven. But I’m gonna choose to look at his plotline in the most positive ways possible.

You cannot forgive a rapist, or an abuser. They aren’t mistakes, they’re somebody’s actions that were intentionally done. But you can choose to let the person learn from it. You can choose to let the person grow, do better. I believe that everyone, no matter who, deserves a second chance. Not a single person in this world is perfect and if people weren’t given second chances, this society would be lifeless. I will choose to believe that Bryce was doing better. I saw a post that said something along the lines of, “It took the loss of his girlfriend, friends, and social status for him to realise that what he did was fucked up.” And I agree. Of course it took that for him to realise. Nobody realises what they’ve truly done until they, themselves, face the consequences for it.

The writers truly did an amazing job on portraying Bryce’s storyline. As problematic as it is, it’s reality, and as Thanos once said, “Reality is often disappointing.” Like, do you know how good you have to be at your job to make viewers FEEL BAD for a rapist? We all knew how horrible Bryce is, yet some of the scenes with him and his mum brought me to tears. I’d also like to give a whole round of applause to Justin Prentice because, wow. That man is damn talented. He did an amazing job this season. Don’t ever forget to separate the actor from their character!

One of the things that really stuck with me from this season is when Ms Baker was brought in for questioning. She said, “Did you know that this department has put more investigative efforts into solving the murder of a convicted rapist, than it ever did for any of his former victims?” And WOW. Did she lie? Did she really fucking lie?? No she didn’t.

Going back to what I said earlier, the justice system is cruel to victims. The way they investigated Bryce’s death vs how they treated Hannah’s case is how things are in real life. It’s really upsetting.

Also, the way they portrayed feminism/the SO club was DISGUSTING. I wish they had done better with that, rather than to carry on the annoying and disrespectful feminist stereotype. Protesting at Bryce’s funeral was so disrespectful.

By the way, wasn’t that Audrey from Scream? LOL

The last topic I wanted to discuss is Ani, but she annoyed me so much that I refuse to put in effort to talk about her. She’s absolutely disgusting for having sex with her friend’s rapist, as well as sticking her nose in business that had nothing to do with her. As Justin once said, “Fuck off, Ani.”

In conclusion,

This show is, and always will remain controversial and problematic. And a lot of people will choose to view it in the most skeptical way possible, rather than to see the points it makes. I definitely agree that this show hasn’t always been the best at portraying certain things - especially in season 1 - but they’re doing better now. This is high school culture (not the part where students are investigating a murder instead of doing homework). This is how the justice system treats rapists vs their victims. These are the struggles of survivors.

AS USUAL, THE SOUNDTRACK SLAPS. Go listen to it, please and thank you. This one is my personal favourite!!

Also, I’m always open to discussing/debating the things I talked about in this post. :)

[the-prince-and-the-thief]

Come at me with the lore, fam, after making my own overly complicated fanfic for almost more than a decade with its own magic system nothing surprises me

//OH BOY YOU’RE IN FOR A TREAT

I’m putting it under a cut to save your dash. 

TW: A lot of stuff. Rape, sexual abuse, abortion, murder... just... just prepare for the worst. 

//Okay, so, Blazblue AU. 

Key characters here are: Kagura Mutsuki, Ragna the Bloodedge, Celica A. Mercury, my OC Riku Akasaka, and of course Ren and Goro. 

First off, in the BB world, there is a one-world government police state that’s currently been having a bunch of in-fighting and schisms since... forever. They had a civil war (the good guys in this fight lost 8( ), and Kagura has been trying to fix shit for uh... a long time. He’s got the true heir to the throne (Homura Amanohosaka, I think? Their name is long.) 

This is an alternate canon where Kokonoe decided to bring her dead aunt back to life like, 3 games early. So it diverges during Calamity Trigger, or The Only Game I Understood (tm). Celica has this power to absorb seithr, or magic energy that can also kill you. The main villain’s body is kind of MADE of seithr. The main villain, Terumi, had a plan to merge with his host and make himself unkillable by linking his life to Noel Vermillion’s. But because Celica decided to show up and cling to Ragna, plans did not go through, but the time loop didn’t restart. Ragna’s plans are at a standstill as well, and he gets attached to Celica, and... it’s complicated. 

To sum up Ragna’s story super quick because it’s side information-- He falls for Celica, they have twins, Ragna realizes that his soul-eating grimoire could kill said kids, gets Jubei to cut it off of him, and they live mostly happily for a while until Celica starts dying of seithr poisoning. Then Terumi decides to finally pay back for having his plans ruined, kills Celica, burns Ragna’s house down AGAIN (you know, for extra trauma), and kidnaps one of his kids. The other had a power like her mother so she didn’t get taken because being near her made Terumi sick. Ragna nearly died in all of this, spent years trying to make a decent life for his daughter, got arrested, and then after basically making prison hell for everyone else with his anger and violence, was basically given a plea deal by Kagura of “Look my dude, get on my side in this government coup I’m doing and we’ll basically give you your daughter back, a job, and a steady income. We cool bro?” Aaaand by the time Akechi is around he’s a parent with 7 kids, 2 who are the same age as Akechi and grew up being his friends. 

Kagura is the part where it gets relevant to Akechi. Kagura hears about this scandal with the Fumizuki family (long story short Shido is a Fumizuki in this case because it’s a Duodecim family they haven’t used yet, and it means “month of erudition” so I figured a focus on intelligence above all else would be fitting...) involving a bastard kid whos mom just died. Now the whole family is looking to basically throw this kid as far away from them as possible. 

Kagura, at this point, is a walking scandal magnet and has stopped giving a fuck. He married a woman literally nobody in his family liked, started a government coup, gave Ragna the Bloodedge the sweetheart deal of a lifetime and more. His wife is my character Riku, who uh... 

Goddamnit, another character break. You see why I said this would take a year and a half? XD Anyway, Riku. Riku is one of the last Japanese people in this setting. Japan got magic nuked in Blazblue, to put it bluntly. A giant world-ending monster decided to appear there first. Japan is *still* not inhabitable centuries later. The Japanese people are very few and far between, and Riku’s family is one of the last families that can boast a 100% Japanese heritage. Y’know. Except for Riku. Because her mom went and married an outsider without her family’s permission. Her mom doesn’t give a single solitary fuck what others think and does what she wants. So she’s actually only half Japanese, and her family treats her and her older brother like shit for it. They’re basically only cared about if they’re “useful”. Her brother went into the military academy to basically gain info for the family (they like to hoarde grimoires as well so the NOL and the Akasaka family kind of hate each other), but he “mysteriously went MIA”. I.e. was violently murdered and had his grimoire stolen. Riku went to the academy after to figure out what happened to her beloved onii-chan. It... did not go well for her. TW sexual abuse- she was raped in her freshman year, ended up pregnant, and when she went home in her third trimester, the head of her family forced her into an abortion that caused serious damage. They cut her hair off and basically sent her back to school traumatized and miserable. And now everyone in school treats her like a whore. She decides fuck it, if they’re gonna treat her like that, she’s going to use being a “whore” to her advantage. She slept her way to status, and, using her own special abilities, gathered a bunch of blackmail on literally everyone in the NOL. Nobody can mess with her, but she also has no one she can rely on. 

She was initially trying to use Kagura as well (trying to get put in intelligence so she could ruin the people who made her life hell), but Kagura noticed she didn’t actually seem to enjoy sex. He helped her get surgery to correct the damage done to her (he only convinced her to go along with this by saying it was for his own benefit. She did not trust him. He said basically he wanted to be the first person to make her enjoy sex.) She eventually began to open up to him and trust him when she realized they were very much alike. They both were isolated from their families for not following tradition, both had many enemies, and both genuinely wanted to destroy the government around them and create a better world. She joined him in the whole government coup thing, using her intelligence-gathering skills. They’re newlyweds when Akechi is a kiddo. 

Understandably, considering all of this, Riku doesn’t really want kids... the trauma of it all is a bit too raw. So Kagura wasn’t really planning to adopt him? He figured he’d give him temporary housing, then send him off to Ragna. Ragna would gladly adopt the kid after all. But he and Riku found out they were very attached to this sad little kid who didn’t understand why everyone looked down on him. Riku, in particular, could relate to his problems. 

So Akechi gets a nice, (mostly) stable family! He meets Ren in middle school. Ren outed a pedo teacher that was very well-liked by most of the students and staff, getting him fired and arrested. So, he was something of an outcast. Akechi, upon hearing this, decides that Ren is a hero. (And Ren p much instantly had a crush on him after that). The two grow up as childhood friends. They’re pretty inseparable. Ren doesn’t really like being at home with his family (they’re very much the type that says nothing to avoid being a target for potential assassination. The NOL has been legit very dangerous their entire lives, after all. So their outspoken, determined child causes them no shortage of headaches), so he’s always hanging out at Akechi’s place. 

You can probably guess that, actually knowing Akechi’s life story, Ren *actually* assaulted Shido when he saw the dude trying to assault another woman. He was genuinely enraged and just kinda lost it. >>; Thankfully connections save Ren. Kagura basically goes “Ok so enjoy going to the military academy as a reform school. Also you need someone to keep an eye on you. ....My son can do that.” Really... he just wanted Ren to look out for his son. 

See, Akechi in this verse is still very concerned with status? He feels that he owes it to his mother and father to live up to his family name, because they’ve done so much for him. He wants to be accepted by the Duodecim as a whole. Riku and Kagura tried their very best to keep him the hell away from all of that political bullshit, but the kid decided to go into the military anyway. He’s not physically the strongest, and he’s pretty naive and childish, deep down. His parents are pretty damned sure that Goro will be eaten alive if left on his own there. (The military academy is, for the record, it’s own massive city. So they wouldn’t exactly be able to keep an eye on him.) So, Renren gets asked to protect his friend. 

They also get chosen by two grimoires while there. These are the Rebel’s Grimoire and the Hero’s Grimoire. Grimoires are basically... to put it bluntly, training wheels for magic. Most people suck at magic by nature. Hell, most people don’t even USE grimoires. They use the even bigger training wheels that are Ars Magus. Grimoires usually specialize in a particular ability. They have their own rules, conditions for use, and often choose their hosts. People fuse with their grimoires over time. If the two become completely synchronized it’s called a Remix Heart. (This is the only important lore information from Remix Heart btw, I saved you from reading a crappy fanservice manga, you’re welcome.) 

The Hero’s Grimoire picks a host with a strong sense of justice. The Rebel’s Grimoire picks a host with a very rebellious spirit. The catch is, they always pick their hosts at the same time, and the hosts are always very connected souls, two sides of the same coin. The Rebel’s grimoire also likes to do this *wonderful* thing where it latches on your face and only accepts you if you rip it off. If you don’t, it kills you! Fun times. Goro turned around to look at Ren when this happened, and the Hero’s Grimoire embedded itself into his spine. (Ren’s looks like a pair of glasses when not in use, Akechi’s looks like a crow tattoo with a weird growth between his shoulder blades.) 

The two grimoires are sentient and talk to their owners while giving them similar but contrasting powers. Ren can use his Third Eye ability from the games, destroy barriers, teleport through shadows, and has very little presence-- almost nobody notices him around unless he’s pointed out or makes himself known. Goro has the same third eye ability, can create barriers/obstructions, can obscure his movements in bright light (either dazzling people or simply teleporting in light), and has a glamour that attracts others to him. (Ren uses this to basically cling to Akechi at all times while nobody notices him. He loves it. Akechi hates it, because PLEASE STOP HITTING ON ME I HAVE A BOYFRIEND HE’S RIGHT. HERE. ) 

The phantom thieves also still exist in this AU! They have a different MO but similar intents and goals. Basically, they steal back what the NOL has taken from others. Or, if said thing can’t be replaced (like, say, innocence, trust, etc) then they’ll take what they consider a karmic equivalent (status, power, etc). It actually all started because Ren wanted to get Riku’s grimoire back (Akechi was still vERY upset that the government had it, how dare they do that to his family). So Akechi is on the team from the beginning. Whether he wants to be or not. 

There’s a lot more but this is just the basics... @_@ I told ya it was a lot. 

[stokan]

Top 20 Things of 2018

1.) Beychella How do you make a long awaited surprise album between two of the biggest names in music that is also one of the year’s best feel like complete afterthought? Set the bar as high as Beyonce’s Coachella appearance.

First awards show performances, then music videos, now music festival gigs: is there anything that Beyonce CAN’T turn into high art?

2.) Explained by Vox The most exciting development in the world of television in 2018 was radically breaking the rules on episodes length. We saw 30 minute dramas, and hour long comedies. We got shows like Maniac where episodes were as long as 49 minutes and as short as 27 minutes. Now television creators can tell exactly the stories they want to tell in however much time they want to tell them in. And perhaps nowhere were these loosened restrictions taken better advantage than Explained, Vox’s documentary series for Netflix. Many topics cant sustain a full length documentary, but, say, 14 minutes explaining cryptocurrency to me? Sure! 17 minutes on designer DNA? Sounds great! 20 minutes on the origins of K-Pop? How do you say “yes please” in Korean? Every episode has a different narrator, a different look, a different feel, and varies wildly in subject matter. Yet they are all exactly the length they need to be. The only thing left I really need explained to me is why no one thought to make this series before.

3.) Serial Season 3 If Explained was a great example of the latest evolution in television, then the new season of Serial is at the front line of the evolution of our newest artistic medium: podcasts. Serial’s third season was nothing like its second, which was in turn nothing like its first. It’s a series still figuring out what it CAN be, while now defining forever what it NEEDS to be. Serial this year explained a deeply important topic in a way that wouldn’t have been possible through any other medium. They always say if you’re a writer you have to ask yourself what form of writing your idea needs to be. Don’t write a play that’s really a TV show, or a movie that should be a book. And now we can add to that don’t make a TV series that’s really a podcast. As Homecoming proved this year, the two mediums are very different and better equipped to tell different stories. And after hearing Serial Season Three I can’t imagine there will ever be a better way to explore the current American criminal justice system. It was 2018’s version of Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. It may not change national food safety standards, but it hopefully will do something perhaps even more important: it will make us never again take lightly the election of local judges and sheriffs. It was a podcast for the heart, the head, and the time capsule.

4.) Black Mirror - “Hang the DJ” I know this technically came out December 29th 2017 but I’m counting it here because nothing was more 2018 than this. The sadness, the isolation, the uncertainty, the living in a world you don’t understand the rules of anymore, the unfairness of modern life, but the ultimate perseverance of hope and love: it’s all there in the best episode of Black Mirror’s third season. It made me cry out of sadness and happiness in equal measure. Could anything be more 2018 than that?

5.) Kesha at the Grammys Ok so maybe one thing was more 2018.

The Grammys, an organization led by Neil Portnow, a man who said this year that “women need to step up”, and an organization that didn’t offer its one female Album of the Year nominee a solo performance spot, also offered us 2018’s most powerful show of female solidarity and one of the most moving moments of the Me Too era. It all amounted to the perfect encapsulation of this year. Kesha scream crying and then collapsing into a sea of strong supportive women WAS 2018.

6.) Eighth Grade My favorite movie of the year was also the year’s best horror movie. It was so real, and visceral, and intense, and frightening that at times I literally had to remind myself to breathe. I watched at least half the movie through my fingers and on the edge of my seat. Proving what everyone who has lived through it already knows: there’s nothing in the world more terrifying than being in junior high.

7.) Big Mouth Speaking of junior high, the other side of the pain and trauma of growing up is humor, so why it took this long for someone to make a comedy series explicitly about puberty is beyond me. I guess, of course, making a show like this work is a fine needle to thread. It wouldn’t work without being animated and being on a streaming service that lets them go as far as they did. It wouldn’t work without writing that is both laugh out loud funny and deeply compassionate and human in equal measure. And it wouldn’t work without one of the best voice casts on TV, including a true tour de force from Maya Rudolph. But work does it ever. In a just world junior high health class homework would be simply watching this show.

8.) Emma Gonzalez speech Here’s how long 2018 was: this was from 2018.

Finishing off my personal 2018 Growing Up Trifecta is the most powerful 12 minutes of the year. That high school students could be more inspiring, articulate, and better leaders than the President of the United States is sadly, at this point, a given. But that they are now more effective and efficient than him at starting genuine political movements still feels revolutionary. The kids are our future, and our future has never looked brighter.

9.) Childish Gambino - “This is America” video 100 years from now if theres only one cultural artifact that still exists and is still remembered from 2018 this will be it. A “you know where you were the first time you saw it” level cultural event. No song will ever be more closely associated with its music video, and no music video will ever be more of an avatar for an entire cultural moment than this. THIS is, of course, a truly shocking and horrifying (in a good way) music video from the former fifth lead of the TV show Community. A profound and brilliant piece of art underscored by a fun-sounding dance song. The year’s most complex and important social-political message delivered in 4 minutes via YouTube. This is America indeed.

10.) Drake - “God’s Plan” video While Donald Glover may have perfected the music video as art form, it goes without saying that long ago Drake mastered the music video as promotional tool. And in that sense the music video for “God’s Plan” seems like minor failure. It seemed to sort of come and go from the culture, especially in light of the success of the In My Feelings Challenge. But for me, there was nothing more heartwarming and human this year than watching Drake give away almost a million dollars to strangers. It was an idea so simple it’s shocking no one had ever done it before. And so affecting I was shocked it didn’t seem to penetrate the public consciousness more. There’s so much going on at all times now it’s hard for anything to truly break through all the noise, but this really deserved to. It’s impossible to watch this without smiling, and is there anything 2018 needed more than that?

11.) Nanette The dumbest debate this year was whether or not Nanette was stand up. Form and genre aren’t delineators still worth discussing in 2018. It’s now only about the message and the messenger, everything else is just details. An important fresh voice, the most timely, and sadly, timeless message imaginable, delivered in a way that reached and deeply affected seemingly every person you knew? What is there to debate? Nanette may or may not be stand up comedy, but it’s definitely RISE UP comedy. And in the end, that’s all that matters.

12.) Amber Says What Please click on the link above. The final two minutes are by far the best comedy of 2018. It still makes me laugh so hard that it causes me physical pain. You’ve been warned.

13.) A Star is Born trailers A Star is Born is maybe a perfect film. The performances, the songs, the direction, the fact that there’s literally no human being on earth who could have played her part and made the movie work like it did other than Lady Gaga. It was all perfect. But there was actually something better than watching A Star is Born: anticipating watching a A Star is Born. Before the first A Star is Born trailer came out I thought the whole project sounded dumb and unnecessary. After I finished watching the first trailer I knew I was going to see A Star is Born opening night. True story: I was at a movie where the same A Star is Born trailer got played three times in a row for some reason. And it was riveting every time. There was no grumbling at all in the audience, and I for one was sad when it didn’t replay a fourth time. So as much as I loved A Star is Born what I would really love is be able to still want to see A Star is Born for the first time.

14.) Ariana Grande - “thank u, next” It’s genuinely impressive that a song released in November could be the song I listened to by far the most this year. Somehow it took less than two months for this song to feel completely ubiquitous. Hell, even the PHRASE “thank u, next” is omnipresent now. Forget Song of the Summer, this was maybe our first Song of the Winter. Which is perfect because has a hit pop song ever sounded more winter? It’s cold, but it keeps you warm. It’s the sadness of the holidays with the life reaffirming joy of the holiday season. It’s a sweater for you to wear on the dance floor. And it’s clearly exactly the song so many of us needed. No matter how many times I’ve heard it (and as I said, I’ve listened to it, uh, A LOT) its existence feels like a holiday miracle. Having a new and fresh take on the breakup song in the year 2018? That shit IS amazing.

15.) The proposal at the Emmys This is literally the only thing anyone remembers about this year’s Emmys. It was amazing, and special, and made anyone who watched it believe in true love. But for me it still cant touch the most heart-melting awards show moment of all time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCJrku4fSxk

(Was this whole entry just an excuse to link to one of my absolute favorite YouTube clips? Perhaps.)

16.) Succession When I saw the promos for Succession I literally made the sound UGH out loud. The last thing the world needs is another show about rich white people behaving badly, I thought. How could there possibly be anything original left to say on that topic? Who on earth is still greenlighting shows like this in The Year of our Lord 2018?

People much smarter than I am clearly, that’s who.

Because from writing, acting, production design, direction - whatever element you want to focus on - this was the best and most exciting new show of 2018 by a wide margin. People have been saying for years that TV is the new movies; this show made movies look like the old TV. It was the most vibrant and perfectly crafted big budget feature film of 2018, stretched out over 8 episodes on HBO. Did it have anything new and important to say about the world? Probably not. And turns out, I couldn’t have cared less. The phrase compulsively watchable might have been invented just to describe the world these actors and writers created. I would watch the team involved with this show dry paint. 

17.) Angels in America on Broadway Angels in America is the best play of the past 30 years and its not even close. So the fact that it would get a production that’s this good is just unfair for everyone else on this planet who makes theater. It was so good it made all other plays I’ve seen since seem small and cheap and unimportant. It was such a towering achievement that it has made the entire rest of theater as an art form seem insignificant by comparison. When you hear old people talk about seeing Brando in Streetcar or watching the original production of Death of Salesman I now can relate to what they are talking about. I’ll be thinking about Andrew Garfield’s final monologue for the rest of my life. It was unfair that we the audience had to all leave the theater when the lights finally came up and that we couldn’t all just live in that feeling forever. The eight hours I spent watching this play are what art is all about.

18.) Jesse Plemons in Game Night If dying is easy, and comedy is hard, then they should cancel the Oscars and give Jesse Plemmons Best Supporting Actor right now for his work in Game Night. And ok, maybe it wasn’t the BEST performance of 2018, but it was DEFINITELY the best performance relative to what it needed to be. It should have been a dumb throwaway part in a big-budget mainstream ensemble comedy. But Jesse Plemmons crafted a performance so strange and singular and memorable that it elevated the entire movie into something way better than I’m sure even its creators expected. I legitimately don’t know how everyone didn’t break in every one of his scenes. It’s a master class in the comedic power of silence. It should be studied in acting classes everywhere. And 20 years from now when Game Night is considered a comedy classic, Jesse Plemmons will be the main reason why. You heard it here first.

19.) The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships Saxophones? Electric guitar solos? Backing choirs? A concept album about being uncomfortable with the internet? Dumb pretentious song titles? This album couldn’t be any more in my wheelhouse if I made it myself. Its best song is basically a modern reimagining of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” for God’s sake!

For me this wasn’t just an album, it was an experience. It was big music to get lost inside of. And I did. At age 36 it’s nice to know that sometimes I can still feel 16. And it’s fitting that a band named The 1975 would be the ones to make music that’s so transporting.

20.) Emma Stone Ok so as someone who once argued in this very space that Emma Stone deserved an Oscar nomination for Easy A, it’s clear I’m pretty deep in the tank for Emma Stone. But even an Emma Stone hater would have to admit than this was a banner year for Emma Stone. Signing up for the insane acting challenge that was Maniac and completely acing it while totally exposing two-time Oscar nominee Jonah Hill in the process? Going toe to toe with Olivia Colman in the battle of the best acting performances of the year in The Favourite? Coming across as more charming than Jennifer freaking Lawrence ?!?

2018 was Emma Stone’s year, we were all just living in it.

[qtr-life-crisis]

Reasons Why I Decided to Leave Teaching

Today I got accepted into a master’s program so I can work towards becoming a mental health therapist. I am so excited, and yet I also feel so much anguish over what I’ve lost. I didn’t give up on teaching because I was bad at it. In fact the research interview I participated in today validated that I was doing what I needed to be doing. So why am I leaving if I was good?

1. Teaching fucking broke me, and I have zero faith in the public education specifically within my state. 

2. Teaching took me to the darkest place I’ve been mentally ever, and I don’t think it’s worth it to risk that happening again. 

3. My admin and some of the students in my school made me develop PTSD.

4. The stress I was under made me seriously concerned for my physical health. Not only was I having frequent panic attacks, but the stress that I was under made me fear health for my heart.

5. I don’t know how to trust school administration after my former admin tried to bully, manipulate, and gaslight me into submission.

6. I hated feeling like I was one of the only adults in my school who truly cared about my kids. 

7. I had zero support, and quite frankly, the stories I’ve heard from other schools have given me little faith it would be better somewhere else.

8. I’m so burned out (still). The little creative energy I have goes into writing these posts. Just thinking about creating curriculum right now makes tired.

9. There’s no way for me to make changes in the system from inside it. There was no shared vision, no unions, nothing. You can’t make change when everyone has different goals and visions for education.

10. We were expected to treat kids like machines instead of actual human beings, and when I did treat them like humans I lost support from those around me.

11. My prior trauma was triggered frequently by students no listening to me, talking over me, humiliating me, screaming at me, getting in my face, etc.

12. I couldn’t be myself. I had to censor myself in and out of work. You can’t state opinions or views online because students and parents will use that against you in the classroom.

13. I had students and parents complain about the curriculum I was using in the classroom because I taught on viruses and vaccines which were part of our state standards.

14. There wasn’t enough time to do everything that needed to be done, and I was left feeling like a failure frequently.

15. There was literally no way to get ahead on anything (see #14).

The sad thing is that this isn’t even everything. These are just the things that are sticking out to me right now. I’m so angry at what the system has taken from me. At what people have done to me. At what people have done to my students. And what they are going to continue to do to students now that I’m not there to advocate for them anymore. Why is it that teachers who care about kids, love teaching, and want a better future for our world are getting pushed out of the classroom? Why does it feel like no one who can do anything cares? Why does the injustice, manipulation, and abuse get to continue while the ones searching for justice, truth, empathy, and love are the ones getting pushed out?

I know life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It’s not like they’re just hurting the teachers who are leaving. They’re also hurting all the kids in our schools who are at the mercy of the adults in charge and making the decisions. Teacher guilt is real because we feel like we’re abandoning those kids that we truly deeply care about, and it feels like we’re leaving them with the parent that can’t take care of them. That’s why so many teachers stay. It’s because they love and care about their students like they’re their own kids. I’m not a mom, but I know that feeling. The amount of times my Mama bear instincts kicked in to stand up for and speak up for those kids in my class and do right by them when it felt like no one else would was more than I can remember.

All of it makes you wish you had never become a teacher at all because then you wouldn’t know what you’re losing. The love and support from your students who see you on your best and worst days. The random sticky notes left for you on your computer and desk. The artwork they give you and ask to have it hung up on your wall. The joy of seeing a student come out of their shell and make new friends. The bitter-sweet moments of seeing your students graduate or move on from your class. The reverence of being there for students during some of the hardest moments of their life because you’re one of the only adults they trust. The heartbreak of knowing you failed some students and don’t know how to fix it. All of it is so beautiful and special. It’s a gift to teach, and it hurts so much to lose it. It’s a loss so great that some days I don’t know how I’ll come out on the other side.

But I’m going to trust that the time I spent working in education hasn’t been wasted. I trust that me leaving is going to be better for me and others moving forward because I can’t help anyone if I’m broken and empty 24/7. 

[sleepymarmot]

COUNTER/Weight liveblog, part 2

Episodes 23-40

Keith hasn't listened to the previous episode and Austin & Ali are cackling like “You got a big storm coming” lmao

…Look I understand the idea of making Tea an ally after the players and audience got to know her in the Kingdom game but the excuse is really thin

“A gift for his little brother” You guys are really bad at this gender neutrality thing huh

AuDy talking to Orth makes my head spin a bit now

Oh so Addax is the leader of the Angels? The person who has been watching the Chime from the shadows = the group that has been spying on them? Okay, I now feel dumb for not putting this together myself.

Wait I lost track again. Who were Jacq & Jill working for initially that gave them access to those immortality tanks? Iirc it was Odamas who had that technology and then gave Horizon access to it while imposing strict rules on them during the merge? So why does Jacqui get less fun assignments now if she was a part of the winning faction, not the losing one?

Oh cool, so Jamil wanted to hand over the virus to the Angels because they're both just from the Rapid Evening?

“A bard notices their enemy's heart isn't in the fight, so they stop fighting, fall in love” is such a specific thing. How the hell did it happen twice on the same show. Is this the new big gay trope now

Heeeey could you stop punching me in the stomach with intros

So, Jacqui was working for Horizon, which in turn was given this job by Petrichor? Still doesn't answer my question…

Do I have to mentally rewrite the entire holiday special so that in every scene on the Kingdom Come everyone is floating in zero gravity all the time?! I'm sorry but this makes no fucking sense!

The doppelganger thing started really creepy but now it just makes my head spin! Please stop it with the names, I'm too easily confused, especially with a show that has a record of passing characters back and forth between the GM and the players!

Re: that whole thing: aaaaAAAAA???

I don't understand what Austin and Jack are doing but it's pretty magical

God, the Aria/Jacqui scene is so… tender? Idk. Austin's gentle “PC's love interest” voice has murdered me again. I'm not sold on Jacqui by herself as a character but on the feelings between the two? Definitely. (Though I still wonder about Aria’s heroism vs Jacqui’s disregard for life. That’s a biiig value clash)

Okay, this was all very unsettling and I still understand so little

I really love that Sokrates' refusal to make that one nameless person take the fall, which seemed (at least to me) kinda stubborn and shortsighted, turned into a key moment, both because it demonstrates integrity, and now because that person becomes an actual NPC as an important asset in their faction

I love how the idea of moving Rigour to September comes up and everyone starts screaming and I do too! They sure love leaving horrifying surprises for the ground team to stumble upon lol

Is it too callous and unwise of me to react to Ibex overthrowing the Hands of Grace as “good riddance”?

Maryland's letter has strong Alyosha/Arrell vibes

I love the “reluctant alliance with an antagonist” trope and was hoping it'd happen with Ibex so I'm happy! Also in one of the early episodes Austin mentioned the Anders-Justice storyline and I'm glad to hear him finally deliver. (There was stuff about the pilot/Candidate->Divine influence with Order, but not about the other way around or fusion, like with Vengeance)

Okay thankfully things are clearer now (I'm reeeally glad I wasn't spoiled on this) but I still have so many questions. How were LD made in the first place? Why and how did they hide in/turn themselves into a simple robot? What are they – just software, like Righteousness, or is there some Divine hardware core inside the normal Automated Dynamics unit that nobody has noticed somehow, or is the hardware in a remote location they access through the mesh? Did Ibex know AuDy was LD the whole time – he didn't act very surprised? Why didn't Ibex rescue his brother, did he die really quickly? How will Mako be able to fog without Righteousness? Shouldn't AuDy be gamebreakingly powerful now? How and why do LD count as two Divines but have a single consciousness, are they like Garnet?

Lazer Ted feels like a fucking TAZ character lmao

The comic relief was welcome but at the same time I'm continuously like “What is AuDy thinking and feeling. Why are they acting like nothing happened. Where's the existential crisis. How do you realize you're a pair of ancient gods and just proceed with your life? Are they so impenetrable on purpose because they're a robot”. Like, it was chilling when they were suddenly chatting with Ibex like old friends, and now it's chilling that they're acting just in the early episodes.

I'm glad the robot incident made everyone realize it might be unwise to put the two charming extraverts in the same half of the party lol

Looks like they decided to permanently switch back to “he” for Cass… Probably for the best.

Jack keeps excitedly jumping at every opportunity for creepiness™. God, AuDy makes so much more sense as his character now after the Reveal

Is September just fucking Solaris now?

I think this is the first time I'm not excited to hear a faction game episode because I really didn't expect it at this point in the story. My reaction was “Wait what? Are you telling me everyone gets stuck on September waiting out that storm for a whole month?! I wanted to hear what that cliffhanger led to!” Idk, the September arc was generally kind of a let down after the intensity of the episodes leading up to it, and this further deflates the tension.

Speaking of tension and letdowns, I just have to complain… It's really disappointing when the show sets up really big dramatic hooks and then does practically nothing with them! I complained about Addax and Cass in the previous post and that point still stands. Case two: Mako and Righteousness/Voice. It's set up in a faction episode, and in the immediately following arc Mako indeed is in danger from something inside his own head, but it's a completely unrelated thing! At the end of the arc he finally finds out, but the threat immediately gets nullified with no consequences – no self-doubt or identity crisis, no diminished abilities in terms of game mechanics. Case three: Ibex himself. Out of the reasons the Kingdom game is what it is, the excuse for it happening in-universe was to give more details on Ibex, and at least half of it featured a collective effort to make him as central to the story and as threatening as possible. But as soon as that flashback ends, so, counterintuitively, does the role of Ibex as an active antagonist to the Chime -- the role which was literally just supposed to begin in earnest. So by this point I can barely recall why we were all so intimidated by this guy in the first place. I'm more like “This is a useful ally to have”. This is what I don't like about the world-ending threats like Rigor: all other interesting conflicts fade in their face.

Dang, I thought Isurus was a cooler name than Enhydra!

Sokrates, forced to shake Ibex's hand: *clenched fist meme*

Wait, I missed something, why is Rigor deep underground and has to dig itself out?

Okay, after the lore episode I'm also confused how Rigor ended up underground on Ionias after it was blown up 20000 years ago in a completely different place

I'm very distressed by the idea of Hieron as a future popular franchise!! No, it's supposed to be real when these people are talking about it!! Oh wait a fucking second, does this mean Jace's Panther was a deliberate reference in-universe?? Like you're fighting in a real serious terrible war and you model a giant war machine after, like, a thestral from the fucking Harry Potter and just call it “Thestral”??!

No, no, wait, do tell me who Cass and AuDy would cosplay!

Oh no, Rigour wants to talk to Voice(?), great

Hey Cass, your Hadrian is showing??

Speaking of Hadrian, I was caught off guard by description of Tower as a “hot young Hadrian”, for some reason Hadrian never struck me as a character who's supposed to be exceptionally attractive. But then again, I imagined him as very young until that letter to Hella, and then I imagined Cass as a young adult until I did the math, so I might just be bad at visualising Art's characters lol.

Austin is so generous and unsubtle about throwing hot gay NPCs right at the players. Too bad Mako doesn't sound as interested as Aria did.

I expected they'd find a room with one copy of everyone plugged into the mesh, that'd be even creepier. What's with the false memories though? This doesn't explain them.

So, how does this whole clone system work? How does time work? Why don't the real students like Tower or Maxine notice that there's a new guy who looks just like their friend, but doesn't know them – or, for that matter, why don't the other clones notice? Oh, maybe that's the purpose of the fake memory aura? So that Maritime-4 could continue right from where Maritime-3 left off?

When Cass saw Apokine's face I thought it meant that the humans had genetically engineered the Apostolosians and that's what “we made them look like us” meant, which would be two of my long-standing questions answering each other. And then it was just another giant mech.. :/

Wait, does Orth calling Cass “Apokine” mean that he pilots the mech now or that Sokrates died and Cass inherited his position?! I'm worried now…

I'm even more worried about Mako, because at first I of course reacted to the question about being in two places at once as “hah, Larry”, but it's probably the other thing, and on one hand that must mean that the rescue of clones was successful, but also that means that our Mako might be dead and the one in the intro is one of the clones… Considering that in the Winter post-mortem I caught Keith saying how emotional the C/w finale was for him before I started fast-forwarding in fear of spoilers, do I need to start mentally preparing to bury Mako already or what?

Speaking of spoilers… The farther I go, the less I understand the advice to skip Autumn. I thought that at least for C/w it wouldn't matter, given it's a whole different universe, but they keep referencing it, and then casually dropping major spoilers, and then referencing it again in a story-relevant way. (The Ordennan ships arrive on the screen as Rigor does, and the next episode is named “The Storm over September” and quotes Lem's poem in the description. That's really cool but I somehow feel vaguely irritated on behalf of my potential alternate self who skipped season 1.) I really hope they've grown more careful about this by now, because I'll probably not even begin Twilight Mirage by the time the next season starts, and I would really like to stay in the dark about the intense events they're all vague-tweeting about at the moment!

Why was AuDy alarmed by Voice's presence as “a” Divine accompanying Maxine? Shouldn't they be familiar with it already because of Mako? (And I don't want to even ask about the ontological difference/border between Righteousness and Voice. I'm tired and feel like a nitpicker. But just for the record, this still isn't clear.)

Well that's a sadder family reunion than I hoped for!

So AuDy does have a split personality to some degree?

Oh well. AuDy's got a fate worse than death: Liberty and Discovery, imprisoned indefinitely. Or devoured I guess, I didn't really get it. Great. Thanks. Fucking RIP I guess. Out of all ways I expected them to go, this wasn't one.

(By the way I still don't understand how the portal works. Where is this portal to? Why can't L&D fly out and take the slow way home, and why can't Rigor?)

There's still about ten minutes left in the episode and I don't understand how it isn't the finale. What's there to do for three more episodes now.

“With Rigor defeated so easily, so permanently, she thought” *Rigor screech*

Yeah, fuck Grace btw

Sounds like cultivating saplings is not a priority anymore for a certain someone… (Wait, btw, what happened to that patch/seed they left? Will it ever come back into play?)

“...Why they would put themselves into a body like yours? And I think, maybe, it's that they were curious about what it would be like for four years to feel like a long time” AAAAAA

Okay, things are better on September than it sounded initially, but still… Wtf's going to happen? Rigor repairs itself, takes over the survivors, takes off again? But what's the timeline on that? I genuinely have no idea wtf the finale is going to be about after this.

Oh, what happened to the clones btw? Did Larry manage to get them off the planet in time, despite the Minerva ships in orbit and, more importantly, Rigor? Or are they stuck on September, unable to continue reenacting the plot of Orphan Black?

From how it's been described in this episode, feels as if Liberty and Discovery are a candidate of AuDy… They didn't want a candidate but were curious to learn how it feels for the other side?

Paisley's dead-eyed, Tower's gone, and even Ibex, who is barely holding on himself, loses his ex… Everyone's love life takes a nosedive: the episode. At least Jacqui's okay… (And because of Jacqui, it was doubly sad and surprising to hear Aria still has feelings for Paisley…)

[holdontohopelove]

Devastated.

Wow, I've written more personal stuff on this site in two days than I have in 7.5 years.

I feel like I need to get this out because I don't want to carry this around forever and I also don't want it to be apparent to my family, friends, and coworkers how absolutely messed up I am by a fictional TV show. This is a haul so read at your own risk.

I started watching The Closer in 2007, so this is my 10 year anniversary with this franchise. I inhaled it the summer before I went away to college and continued to hang on tight to it as I grew up, got a degree, graduated, got a Master's, and started working as a full-blown professional. The Closer, and then Major Crimes, was safe. It was home. Brenda was and will always be my "person" in this series, but Sharon was a close second. Sharon was what Brenda wasn't and if I had to pick, I hope to blend the best of both in my personal and professional lives. These women defined strong women on television. They gave young college students and young professionals like me something to believe in. 

As I went on to work in the field of victims services, I applauded Major Crimes for how they told stories about sexual abuse and rape. As much as his storylines sometimes annoyed me, I loved everything Rusty Beck stood for. If the kids I work with are able to overcome adversity half as well as Rusty, it would be a success. Rusty is the outcome I pray for for my kids. Sharon was the foster parent I pray for for my kids. To see it on screen was beautiful and heartbreaking...and that kept me hooked and committed week in and week out. Plus Sharon and Andy? Love after heartbreak? Finding that kind of love in your later years? God what a message. How does that NOT give you hope?

I always knew that losing this show would be hard. I also knew instinctively that it would mark the major shift in my life between kid and adult, no matter how many years I have logged in my career, degrees on my wall, numbers in my bank account, or capabilities I had to handle my own life. This was truly going to be the moment of leaving something that I started in my late teens - as I was transitioning into the adult world- behind. I just didn't expect that losing it would come at the cost of losing a character that I love, adore, and admire. 

My job is not easy. My life is not easy. No one's is. That's why I watch television and movies. That's why we ALL watch television and movies - to be entertained and to escape, for a little while, to a better world. Fiction doesn't have to mean sunshine and rainbows, but I also don't appreciate when it causes unnecessary angst. That's not what I came here for. I remember when The Mentalist ended in 2015. They were given a surprise final season and made no secret about how the final season was about "giving the fans what they want." They did justice to the characters and the stories while ultimately leaving everyone happy. They could have orchestrated a huge, dramatic, emotional final mess in which people died and Jane continued to suffer, but they didn't. They chose the fans. They chose the characters. They gave them the happy endings we long for in real life, but don't always get.

I've spent time reading the interviews from Mary and James about the decision to kill Sharon off. "It's a metaphor for the end of the show." "It was a way to release Mary from the show so she could pursue other work because we were inevitably getting cancelled." "It was a powerful moment." "I supported this." It goes on and on with the justification. For me, there is no justification for this and for what the viewers were put through. This was senseless, needless tragedy, and a rare tragedy at that, as in "most people die with cardiomyopathy, not from it". I'd even go as far as to say a "manufactured" tragedy...we've all discussed how Sharon basically set up her own demise and chose her own destiny, resulting in her loved ones losing her sooner than was necessary and not having any time to process or say goodbye. That is not the selfless, family-centered, faithful woman I know from this series. The choices that Sharon made do her character and the entire series a complete disservice. Not to mention it put loyal fans who devoted themselves to this show for years and years through absolute hell.

I wanted to be able to look back on this franchise fondly. I wanted to be able to say...this show meant so much to me and guided me through some of the toughest transitions and hardest moments of my life. I wanted to be able to say...this show is over, just as my childhood and "baby adult" years are, but it's a part of me. It made me who I am. But I struggle to say that now. I struggle because I don't want to remember the pain that I now associate with this show after the last 24 hours. I slept for 3 hours last night. I have been nauseous since I woke up this morning. My anxiety, never stellar to start with, is off the charts. I look like a raccoon on acid. This show used to build me up and make me feel like I could own the world and kick ass and overcome adversity. Now it's just reinforcing the  depressingly real world idea that all good things can be taken away and terrible things can happen to good people. That a kid who finally gained a good mother could lose her when he's barely an adult. That a man who literally waited his whole life for a love like theirs could lose his wife within weeks of their wedding. That her other kids never had a chance to say goodbye and process how dire the situation with their mom actually was. That a room full of people could watch a loved one literally up and die in front of them and not be able to save her. Don't get me wrong...I KNOW this shit happens every day. I work with this shit every day. I specialize in trauma, for Christ's sake. I didn't need to see it dramatized on my television with people that I've literally spent ten years watching each week.

I cannot fathom why someone would choose this path to walk knowing that this was likely the final season of the show. Most of us LIKE open-ended finales even if there's no chance of anyone renewing the series or carrying it to another platform. It lives on in our hearts. In our headcanon. In our fanfiction. In our memories. We can think back and believe that there was a happy ending, a long life, a sense of contentment. You don't need to kill off our beloved main character to reinforce the idea that "the show is dead" and that "it's never coming back to life." We get it. But couldn't it have lived on for us, for your loyal fans? It's like, not only did my favorite show end, but every good feeling, daydream, storyline, or wish I'd have for those characters and that world is dead, too. This is the whole TLJ "Let the past die, kill it if you have to" thinking on an entirely insane fucking level. I am not here for this. I did not spend 10 years here for this.

I'm really struggling right now. It's five days before Christmas and life should be grand, but I feel like a part of me has died. I feel like I'm grieving something I can't put into words with the people who are physically in my life because it's going to sound insane. I get that writers want their audiences to feel something, but literally all I feel is dead inside and that nothing in these next four episodes will ever make this better. I feel like I spent ten years on something I considered precious only to have it smashed before my eyes. My memories are tainted. My heart is so heavy. This show broke me in the worst possible way with no conceivable benefit. There is nothing about Sharon Raydor's death that added to this series and nothing that can happen in the final episodes that will fix this or make me feel better about this.  All it did was remind me, once again, though off the clock this time, that the world is often shitty, good people can suffer terrible fates, and love does not conquer all. This is the legacy that was left for us. This is what I got out of the TV show that I had used to keep my faith when sometimes my own world was dark. 

I didn’t need this final season to be fluffy bullshit with all kisses and no strife, but I needed this final season to be the light in darkness. I needed this final season to help me feel ready to move on. I needed this season to emphasize that these characters matter, that the fans matter, that the last 13 years of this franchise matter. I needed this final season to prove that good can triumph, love can move mountains, and that even those who struggle can have a bright future ahead. 

I think that’s all I can say without repeating myself further. Now, we have to take of ourselves and each other as we all struggle through this. There’s no way to make sense of this. You can’t make sense of insanity or find logic in grief and tragedy. But putting this out there helped me a little bit, so if you took time to read this, thank you. That’s all for now.

[amusewithaview]

blood tells (a tale all its own)

Darcy looks a lot like her mother.

Most of that is by nature, some of that is by choice.

With a name like “Current Events,” she thought she’d be safe taking the class.  News and stuff, right?  She could handle that.  Darcy really should have known better.  She should have considered that ‘current’ could have variable definitions depending on perspective.  Unluckily for her, the professor took a long view encompassing most of the past fifty years.  The syllabus was the only warning she had, the outline told her that on week six they’d focus on assassinations that shaped society.

She clicked on the corresponding link to find the assigned reading and felt her stomach do a dip and roll.  “The President Who Wasn’t - Friend or Foe of Humanity?” was the title that jumped out at her.  She debated dropping the class, but eventually settled on skipping week six.

It had been five years.  It was still too soon.

She knows she’s lucky.  She knows.

1.  Her mutation is easily hidden.  She can pass. 2.  Her family loves her.

But she still wonders about the other side of her family.  Her father was a foundling, albeit an oddly well-funded one from what her grandparents’ investigators could turn up.  They never found anything on his family though, in spite of the money they poured into the endeavor.  It’s a mystery, but they’re almost certainly the ones she got her x-gene from.

She knows that her father hated what she was.  She knows.  There are entire youtube channels devoted to his fiery speeches, preaching hate against her and others like her.  Sometimes she can’t help but wonder what if.  Would he have changed his mind if he knew about her?  Probably not.  She’ll never know for sure, but she wonders.  She tries not to let it eat at her.

Sometimes she succeeds.

When Darcy was twelve years old, she woke up with buttery-gold eyes and blue freckles scattered like a thick coat of midnight stars on her otherwise fair skin.  Her first thought was cool and then can I keep them?  It didn’t occur to her to be scared until she smelled the fear on her mother.

Of course, she didn’t realize what she was smelling until Heather Lewis was well into the throes of a panic attack.

Her mother kept patting her hair and crying.  “Oh baby, baby, it’ll be okay, we’ll be okay, we’ll figure something out,” she kept whispering it, over and over like a mantra.  “It’ll be okay, we’ll figure something out.”  Heather’s hands were shaking and tears were pouring down her face unacknowledged.

Darcy was terrified.

That was how her grandparents found them: Heather clutching Darcy close to her, shaking so hard she was near to swaying back and forth.  Darcy holding her mother just as fiercely, crying just as hard in confusion and fear.

Grandpa took Darcy and grandma took her mom, in two hours they reconvened in the parlor.  Darcy learned three things that day:

1.  Her father’s name was Graydon Creed. 2.  She was a mutant. 3.  If either of the first two became well-known, she could be in danger.  If both of the first two became known, she could die.

They danced around the ‘death’ thing, but even as a child she could read between the lines.  Her father had been making a name for himself over the past few years, making waves in the political sphere with his group, “The Friends of Humanity.”  He was making a campaign off of anti-mutant paranoia and if it ever got out that he had a daughter, out of wedlock, who was a mutant...the damage to his image would be catastrophic.

It was nothing but old money snobbery that had kept Graydon out of her life up to that point.  Her grandparents had given her mother an ultimatum: keep her boyfriend or keep the child.  If she’d chosen the former, they would have quietly arranged for her to have an abortion but allowed her to continue at her elite boarding school in much the same way she had, considering it a ‘warning’ of sorts.  Heather chose the latter and allowed her parents to withdraw her from school and squirrel her away to a more remote estate where they could pretend that Darcy was her little sister.

That was the story they told.  One of those polite society fictions that stood up as well as a tower of cards, remaining intact only as long as others were kind enough not to blow on it.  It helped that Darcy’s grandmother was a society dame, the kind who could make or break reputations with a single word because she knew all the dirt and wouldn’t hesitate to use it.  It helped even more that Darcy’s mother was quiet about her indiscretion, didn’t flaunt it or step out of the line her parents had drawn in the sand.

Heather chose her battles carefully and, nine times out of ten, she fought for Darcy rather than herself.

Darcy had been home-schooled by her mother’s choice up till the age of twelve.  After the manifestation of her x-gene it became a necessity.  She learned to metamorph away her more outlandish outward traits (the blue freckles and yellow eyes she got at twelve; the pointed canines and elongated ears she grew at thirteen; the retractible claws on hands and feet she sprouted at fifteen; the tail which she never told anyone about at seventeen) enough to go to high school.

All the while she watched her father’s support grow.  She tracked his progress through papers and tv adverts, through her grandfather’s blustery remarks about his dim prospects to the very real fear behind her mother and grandmother’s eyes.  If Graydon Creed won, the mutants, as a whole, would lose.

Her father’s success would be her people’s downfall.

It fucked her up.

Then, days after formally announcing his candidacy for president, Graydon Creed was assassinated at a rally in Ohio.

It fucked her up worse.

In college, Darcy meets her first out-and-proud mutant.

There had been none at the fancy private boarding school she’d attended.  Even if there had been, she wouldn’t have been allowed to associate with them.  Creed’s death might have made the world safer for mutants and, in a very specific sort of way, Darcy, but there were plenty ready to pick up his banner of hate and intolerance.  The very last thing the Lewises wanted was for Darcy to come out of the closet and be hurt.

Darcy knows that that rule comes from a place of caring.  She can literally smell it on them.  That doesn’t make their active and aggressive denial of a very real part of her hurt any less.

So when she meets the girl called Lorna, it’s a revelation.

Lorna has green hair, and not just on her head: all of her visible body hair is green.  She lives on Darcy’s floor and by the end of the first week of freshman year, they’ve swapped assigned roommates so they can live together.  Lorna doesn’t say if her x-gene does more than give her awesome hair and Darcy never asks.

Darcy doesn’t tell her the truth, but it’s a near thing.  The fear is just too deeply ingrained.  She regrets it when the X-Men come for Lorna, halfway through sophomore year.  She doesn’t even get a chance to say goodbye properly, stuck in class when Lorna up and leaves.

They still exchange emails though.

“Did you love him, mom?” Darcy asked, once, in that brief, awful period between finding out who her father was and seeing him shot on national tv.

Heather had shrugged, pulling her daughter closer to tuck under her arm.  “Part of me still loves him,” she admitted quietly.  “He gave me you.”

“But without me, you could still be with him,” she said, soft like a secret.

Her mother tilted her head to the side, thinking very carefully about Darcy’s not-quite-a-question.  “I don’t know,” she said finally.  “I’d like to think that I would have left him when I saw how deep the hate ran, but...”  She smiled a little wistfully, “Your father was - is a very charismatic man.  You’ve got a little of that spark.  No, really.”  Her lips pressed together and a wrinkle formed between her eyes, “I’m sorry I can’t give you a better answer.  I don’t know what would have happened without you, but honey?”

“Yeah?”

“I chose you over him.  I will always choose you.”

Her mother is a librarian and her father was a politician and Darcy...

Darcy is a perpetual student of life, or at least that’s how she tries to sell it to her grandparents.  She manages six years at Culver, ends up with a double major in political science and biology, one minor in social justice.  It’s unfortunate for her that Culver requires more diversity in certain fields.  She still has six credits of science requirement to kill and two options:

1.  Take Rocks for Jocks. 2.  Intern with a crazy astrophysicist.

Darcy takes the internship and never looks back.

She learned control out of necessity.  It was learn control or be confined to the estate.  Her mother did most of the real work, teaching her to meditate, helping her figure out how to associate scents with emotions and physiological tells.  But sometimes Darcy just felt so pent-up, so caged.

She learned to escape into her own head.

She fell into music and let it express all the emotions she couldn’t.  All the things she wanted to say and ways she wanted to react and had to hold back every moment of every single day.  Her body, the one natural to her, had claws and a tail and fangs and elongated pupils and heightened senses -

Sometimes she wondered, didn’t her family realize those manifestations were more than just cosmetic?

Sometimes she wondered, did they care?

Darcy knew, on some level, that her instincts weren’t wrong just different.

It didn’t always help.

Jane is the second person Darcy wants to tell.

Not so much because she epically trusts her on sight or anything, but, well, Jane has a tendency to get a little too caught up in science and forget things like showering or cleaning.  It’s a problem.  Darcy grew up in a house kept clean by a weekly service.  Darcy has always kept her dorm room as clean as possible because her nose demands it.

Living and working with Jane is...an adjustment.

The Thor thing?  That’s enough to send Darcy’s entire world out of alignment.

CAST LIST - 

Darcy Lewis (Creed)

Heather Lewis

Josephine Lewis

Abernathy Lewis

Graydon Creed

Mystique

Victor Creed

BONUS

Lorna Dane

[huntergoebel]

Week 2 SOMD Love/Hate Relationships

YWAM Los Angeles

So I'm Hunter Goebel.  If you don't know me, I'm from Northern Minnesota.  I love God, movies, and punk rock.

I’m writing to give you a look into my life and what's going to happen to it over the next 10 weeks. Currently, I'm going through a 12 week School of Ministry Development through Youth With A Mission Los Angeles (or SOMD @ YWAM LA for short).  Part of my school is to blog weekly about whats truly going on in my life spiritually, emotionally, socially, etc.  I've had a few blogs in the past about punk band life and reviewing movies, but this is the first about my personal faith and my collective story.  My goal is to be authentic and transparent.  This weeks focus has been about how I see the world.  Upon thinking what to blog about and what Gods been showing me, I naturally reflected on the past 3 years of my life.  I've been in a real bad place with the world for a while, so to tell you how I've grown, I need to tell you how I got to that place, and exactly what that place is.  Part 1 starts toward the beginning.

Part 1

I grew up in Floodwood, MN but graduated from Hibbing High School in 2014.  I had willingly switched schools in and churches in 10th grade to do something better with my life.  I became a prominent kid in my new youth group, the church worship team, and in a healthy student-led campus ministry.  One of my new friends and I had started a punk band, which I'm still in.  I really wanted to pursue worship at a university but I also thought I had a duty to be a missionary. After graduating high school, and leaving my path to become a worship leader, I traveled to Australia to go through a YWAM Discipleship Training School.  

At this time, I'm a very happy, extroverted 18 year old kid.  I love people, Christians, traveling, worship and the world and God, but for the first time, I realized that I hadn't found God along the way. Rather instead, I had found no way other THAN God.  I became in love with Jesus in a genuine way that I didn't think was possible.  I discovered my Lordship and that I wanted to give up the entirety of my life to Him because I knew he was the only one who could make my decisions for the good of his kingdom.

Then I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, this blue-eyed girl from California, Ariel Alexandria Caspar, a deep and talented writer and worshiper with an intense spiritual gift of prophecy.  I Immediately fell in love with her the first week of our DTS, and to my luck, she thought I was pretty rad too (she was also crazy about me).  After long talks with God apart from each other, we agreed He wanted a full year from each of us separately before we were allowed to pursue each other.  

My DTS came to an end and I had to decide what to do.  My love for people and God had just been multiplied by 100 and I was the definition of a christian on fire for the kingdom.  I didn't want to go home after DTS, but God clearly told me so.  I came home to Hibbing and worked for about a year until I got an internship, working in my dream city, Duluth, as a Campus Life Director for Youth For Christ.  I was also able to get Ariel a job working/interning there so we could get the chance to date and be in ministry together, so she moved to Duluth, MN when I did.

After two years of working with inner city punks and skaters, I knew something was wrong with me and my spirit.  I found myself getting really frustrated with teens for little things, like not doing well in school for example. Once me and Ariel had officially began dating, our first year was very, very rough, learning how to properly love and respect each other.  We got involved with a church we both loved at first and then grew to hate because of their idolatry and fake compassion.  Our friends we met through that church were awesome and similar to the friends we had from DTS, but eventually we saw them as fake, sell-out, gossiping copies of that same church.  The only thing we had to rely on was our relationships with God, with each other, and with the youth ministry we worked for.  

Eventually we met a great guy, Taylor, who had the same exact Loves and Hates as we did.  Because of it, we accidentally formed a clique that was kind of nice or wise on the outside, but very very wrong and judging on the inside.  We collectively hated the immoral, half-hearted lives of our other christian friends and focused on our self-righteousness and vindicated opinions of the wold. I personally became very hateful toward people, ideologies and churches.  I watched all these movies and read comics that executed all kinds of gruesome vigilante justice on people deserving of it.  My relationship with my family grew increasingly worse and worse.  I hated my own families idolatry for their patriotism and lifestyle.  Believe it or not, I actually hated their hate for other people who hated hate by hating people. (That last sentence is a little snippet to whats going on in my spirit). At a couple of the part-time jobs I had on the side, I would act out of anger at customers or co-workers.  That is very unlike me.  My dad was very angry and would lose self-control in the midst of evil or injustice, but I wasn't.  I always had a very clear sense of right and wrong, but I've always acted out of love and kindness, gentleness and patience with people.  Then it had just worn away, because I let my fleshy hate rule my spirit.

For the second year of living in Duluth, I spent in depression alongside Ariel and Taylor.  We were all part of the problem, but I could've done something about it.  Instead, I let my view of the world and all it's evil own me.  We never lost sight of God and we've always had a good relationship with him, but we lost side of his people.  We were frustrated with his children and forgot that we were his children too.  

After talking with my boss and spiritual mentor, Eric, we knew that my ministry in Duluth wasn't working.  My skills were being under-utilized and my gifts were under-developed.  He knew I loved YWAM because of how much I talked about it, and he thought I should go back in for additional training.  So I'm doing that!  Ariel moved back to CA to be with her parents and I flew out here.

That brings us to now.  

Part 2

Over my first 2 weeks here, I have began my climb out of the pit of hatred.  Our speakers have all been talking about calling and identity.  How I want to please God has to be reflected in my inner and outer attitude and genuine love for other people.  Jesus came here and died a death he didn't deserve, just so I don't have to die a death that I do deserve.  THAT is love.  It's the love that I need for people.  I need to reclaim it, because the enemy stole it from me.  Maybe he didn't steal it.  Maybe I just handed it over to him on a plate.  

I don't deserve peoples love for who I've been, and maybe those people don't deserve my love.  The beautiful thing about Grace, is that we are still loved anyway, beyond what we deserve, or what we want, or what we need, or what we think is owed to us.  Nothing owed to us. Gods love is given so freely, and furiously, and full, and unending, and it feels like being beautifully impaled.  

The past couple weeks, I've read through the first 5 books of the bible and Job.  Seeing people legacies play out has been just outrageous. Literally, Outrageous!  People were so gnarly and selfish and conniving, both the people who didn't love God and who did!  God just raises up these intricate stories of people becoming more than just farming fathers, and he turns them into a nation with a history rich with passion and war, acceptance and betrayal, Lordship and doubt. God's showing me that their stories are my stories.  What happened back then will happen to me in spiritual ways that will build me into something strong and devoted to Him.  His passion for the individuals and stories of a thousand generations is the same passion of how he pursues me.  

Through Jesus, He's shown the world how his kingdom will purge all that isn't love in my own heart, and eventually the world.  By that, justice and vengeance are not mine to take. Now any judgement I make is invalid, and worthless.  The only thing left in the equation is to love people unconditionally.  That has to be how we view the world, evil and all.  Having a pure outward mindset that actually intends to transform your surroundings by your own inner transformation first.

I want to be the best leader that I can be.  That starts with having raw, authentic love for others.  Thankfully, God is making that happen through this school.

[monasatlantis]

Review of Trails of Cold Steel 3!

As you probably know… I am a fan and a player of Falcoms “Trails of Cold Steel” – Series and now, after what felt like ages, we here in Europe finally got the 3. Part of that series and there was no way that I would not buy this game XD Granted, I already spoiled the actual ending of the whole Series and everything in-between but as usual that only made me want to finish the series myself. So here I am, reviewing a game whos shocking ending made me cry long before I actually understood a damn word that was said in said ending XD

1. So how was the Prolog? I am not sure if Falcom found it funny to do the same thing they already did in the first Trails of Cold Steel game, despite the fact that it wasn’t a good start for that game, or if they just found it to nostalgic to not do it. But let me say this, I only will speak from the perspective of a player who played the previous two games here, because if I would speak out of the perspective of a new player who accidentally ended up playing Trails of Cold Steel 3 first, I would be screaming about that prolog because basically you pressed random Buttons with Characters you did not just simply don’t know, but also with names like “Blond-Haired-Boy” and so on, because they weren’t willing to reveal their names. So, with said unnamed characters I ran through a (fairly easy, I have to admit that) dungeon, fought random monster while pressing random buttons and had no idea why? Not to mention what they were talking about. Anyway… thanks to my knowledge and also the knowledge most players who have at least read the description of the game should have had, plus the experiences from the previous games, made it of course relatively easy to get a hang on the controls and know at least somehow what was going on. So instead of being confused I could enjoy them talking about my Rean-Bean who was not there for most part of the prolog. I laughed my ass of while they said he is a “glory-hunt” and that he is an “oblivious player” because this is so damn on point and is so amusing coming from his own students. Not to mention, when Rean finally did show up, he really once again stole the glory-moment XD I mean… okay… his kids would have died without him, but come one, the timing was perfect to claim all the glory.

Anyway… I definitely liked this prolog better than the one from the first Cold Steel Game. Less characters. More things that already made sense. Shorter. Just a nice “What the hell is going on and were the hell are we?” – Moment that might come in handy later. No deceiving you this time either. While in the first game, Millium and Crowe were purposefully left out of the prolog even tho when you finally reach that point, they are there – to hide that they will in fact later become part of your team – this time they didn’t hide Ashe and Musse even tho in the Introduction-Chapter, those two were not sorted into Reans new class 7. Pluspoints for this. Although they did hide Angelica and the Principal… but… uh… I think I let that slide. They are not that important.

��2. What was your favorite Chapter?

 My absolute favorite chapter was chapter 2. The pacing was great, the plot was interesting, the monsters not too strong and the maps not too big, the dungeons not too complicated and all in all did it provide a good mix of the old and new in the way it presented the new characters and included the old ones in the story without completely ignoring the new class 7 characters. Tio was (although unknown to most players do to the fact that this game has yet to come out in western countrys…) a nice addition and as a shipper, I couldn’t be happier about the Rean x Alisa reunion and how it was handled. All in all I really liked the Mix of Rean, Alisa, Machias and Emma together in a team. And I was also more than Happy when “Olivier” joined our team. It was also great to see Alfin again and also Vita. And Sharon of course. Crossbell as the place where we had our mission was great and I really loved the scene on the rooftop of that super tall building, when everyone was sad because of Junas understandable devastation while that asshole Rufus just walked away without a care in the world. This scene said a lot about every character that was present at that time. I would say chapter two was the best out of all of them. (The final chapter not included as it was too different to compare it with chapter 1 – 4.)

 3. What was your least favorite chapter?

 Definitely chapter 3. Although chapter 4 had its downsides as well, all in all it was still better than chapter 3. In chapter 3 the difficulty of the game suddenly rose a lot. The monsters became harder, the maps bigger and more complicated, do to that the very good pace of the game slowed down and the plot was a bit… too long and yet unsatisfying. While Kurts character-arc was in chapter 1 and Junas character-arc in chapter 2 (while Altina seemed to be having a huge background-arc over the whole game that didn’t really end yet) Musse and Ash had to share the spotlight in chapter 3 and that did the plot and the pacing no good. Musses story is obviously even bigger than it seemed at first, but even the bit we got than would have deserved its own arc, even tho Ashs arc was also just scratched on but it was still too much to put both of it in the same chapter. I also personally feel that the older characters all in all got the shorter end of the stick in this chapter. While in all other chapters the mix of old and new Class 7 was done really well, in this chapter it was done poorly. I love Jusis and it felt extremely wrong that he wasn’t there when we were searching for Millium. Not to mention that the map of that island was too freaking huge and when we finally found Millium she wasn’t even able to join us for the fights. The plot was really slow in the beginning and then got hectic at the end. While most of the time the chapter was rather boring, at the end all of the sudden hell broke lose and made us run through that fucking maze of a damn castle. And here, once again, the old members of class 7 did not get as much attention and “alone-time” as the others did, do to the “splitting the groups” – thing. (Tho the idea of that was not bad and worked very well in the 4. Chapter. It did just not fit in chapter 3.) So of all the chapters this was definitely the one I disliked the most.

 4. What can you say about the final chapter and the ending of ToCS3?

 Oh boy… after we had that semi-final dungeon in chapter 4 and fought that semi-final-boss there as well I was worried at first that they would threw us into yet another labyrinth with puzzles and such bullshit. Thankfully, they didn’t do that. And that makes a lot of a difference for me, I can tell you that. The plot of the final chapter was amazing from the beginning to the end. A bit shocking at times but really good. It started with a lot of lore but it was interesting enough to not make the game boring. Especially with who explained the lore and with us and the characters putting every given piece of the puzzle together so it would make more sense. I kind of also really liked how on both sides everyone was working together for their goals. The dungeon, as I said before, was good and it was also looking really good. For a final dungeon it was rather pretty… I liked how in the beginning, you could put together your dreamteam no matter if it included the new class 7 characters or not, but slowly but surely took those older classmates away from you but still gave them an important reason. No “We have too much characters so these what feels like 20 characters will only stand on the sidelines and watch you all get killed” – bullshit. Instead the members of the old class seven got their own important jobs and with them, they tried to solve their own personal problems. I really like that. Although fighting with the (in my case) weaker new class 7 against a dark holy beast was not that easy at first. But all in all I really liked how they managed those many characters in the final chapter. It was also funny how they slowly but surely took your dreamteam apart and forced you to go back to the routes of ToCS3…

Now… the ending. Boy… the ending… When I saw it the first time on Japanese I was crying my eyes out and I was shocked and speechless. So when I saw it a second time, this time with a language I understood I cried my eyes out once more, internally screaming and sobbing and despite the knowledge I had already I was still in shock. The ending was so good, spoilers didn’t do it justice. Literally going through the whole game on your own terms by playing it yourself makes it even worse (in a good way) than it is when you just watch the scene on YouTube (and in a language you don’t understand no less) and I also kind of already had tears in my eyes a few moments before shit got down because I knew what was coming and that it would break everyones heart – mine included – in a matter of seconds. And then when it happened, here I was, crying my eyes out. And without saying Milliums sacrifice and Reans reaction were bad, I still think what happened with the crimson wings was a tad bit sadder in a way. Because when the ship showed up, it gave everyone hope again and then, just a few moments later, that hope was crushed when the ship exploded. Of course, as I said before, Milliums sacrifice was nothing short of sad or dramatic, especially with the way Jusis feeling had been slowly but surely building up in the background. Reans reaction was nothing else but shocking. Here we are, after 4 hard chapters, an enormous amount of hard battles, betrayals, and lies and secrets and when we reach the point where we SHOULD be saving the world once again, everything goes down and we… fail? Rean going berserk was the moment everyone had to realize that we fucking lost that battle. We lost Millium, the Courageous, my beloved Olivert, Lauras father, Toval and now our last ray of hope, our dearly beloved boy Rean had gone into berserker-mood when we would need him standing strong and tall the most. What an ending… At that moment, all hope was lost.

So let me say this loud and clear, if this ending would have been the ending of the cold Steel-Saga then it would have been a bad, rushed and very unsatisfying ending. But knowing there is a part four, this ending was one of the best cliff-hanger-endings I have ever seen in a game. It was shocking, emotional and devastating. And yet… after we lost everything, after the credits gave us time to dry our tears the game itself tells us to rest, because there is still that light of hope and we will find it. It was great.

 5. Shippings!

 Oh boy! When I started Trails of Cold Steel I was shipping Rean and Alisa and that was all the game had to offer me. Now I enjoyed Agathe and Tita from Trails in the Sky and also had Millium and Jusis suddenly at my disposal and it was… great! I had so much fun with all the teasing for Tita and Agathe and also for Rean and Alisa and I enjoyed the rather subtle way how things had gone on Jusis and Milliums side of the story. It was wonderful to watch all those very different ships develop in their own way.

Nothing can compete (yet again) with the Rean and Alisa Reunion-scene. Or their final bonding-event at the summer-festival, while we are at it. I think Falcom did go all out once again in this game with their love for Alisa and Rean as a pairing. As you will notice that, even tho yes, Laura also got a hug, her hug was very different from Alisas, starting by the length of it and the palpable intimacy between Rean and Alisa that Laura and Rean couldn’t match. Also notice how Reans voice automatically drops to a more gentle tone when he talks with Alisa in their reunion-scenes. What is also worth noticing is that when Sharon made that command that  Rean couldn’t help the embrace because of Alisas beauty, he actually admits to it after a rather questionable attempt to deny it at first. This is the only time Rean openly admits to be drawn towards any girl, besides the scene with Claire were he thinks he is dreaming after she gave him a kiss on his cheek were it admittedly also could be more meant as a “I am a lucky bastard that such an amazing woman likes someone like me” and didn’t have to mean that he is also drawn to her, especially since you can not officially dater her. There is also worth mentioning, that Alisa is the only girl of the old class 7 that he danced with at the ball, and once again the game seemed to pay special attention to them in that scene. Not to mention how their first-bonding-event is extremely romantic without you as a player having any chance to choose if you want it to be romantic or not. There is also the thing that Alisas gift is a ring for the pinky-finger… Agathe and Tita managed to made me smile so often. After liking that ship already in Trails in the Sky, I was happy I could enjoy it in Cold Steel 3 as well, not to mention how much I laughed about all the times they got teased because of their close relationship. There are also two changes that you have to take note of. First off all, Tita is by now much more conscious of her feelings for Agathe then in Trails in the sky, were she didn’t get a thing when everyone was teasing him about not doubting that that bizarre world he was in was real because of her embrace. She was subconsciously drawn to him without giving it much thought as to why or what it could mean or lead to. Now she is aware of her own feelings, blushing and doing things like trying to keep in mind how to approach a stubborn man after the principal told the girls. While Agathe on the other hand, very clearly stated Infront of Rean and the other that he sees her as a little sister and is more concerned about her safety because of a promise he made to her parents… while later in the game he stops denying anything and was even able to tell Tita in the light of all the bad events of the ending that she will be save as long as they are together which was – by all means, not a moment between a brother and a sister, but between to people deeply in love with each other. I will be eternally grateful that they gave me that moment, because in all my sadness and despair, in the middle of sobbing, they made a smile show up on my face.

I won’t go into more details when it comes to Millium and Jusis, because as I said, that was a little more subtle and gets its greater and more clear moments in the next Trails of Cold Steel game.

 6. All in all, how many points are you giving this game?

 I give this game a great 9 out of 10 points.

 I really enjoyed playing it. The plot was very good, pacing was very good, so was the music, the beloved characters were mostly handled really well and so were the newcomers. The characters from the older Trails games were a great addition to the game. And extra plus points for being allowed to play this game on the difficulty “very easy”. Minus-Points are for the NPCs as they didn’t bother to try to at least use different looking NPCS for different missions. I don’t know how often that guy that looked a bit like Machias with the lilac hair and the glasses was part of a mission, despite being a different character every time. In a crowd they had 3 people and copied them over and over again instead of trying to put all the few different NPCs they had together. They even got as far as to make the mother of a child in saids childs-picture that a girl has drawn for her father in one mission, to look like Towas aunt, same Haircolor, same clothing and all. Girl also looked like that one girl-child-NPC that runs around in every town. They literally have drawn two characters in what looked like a picture from a child, that were never shown in the game as they were from a different far away country, look like all the other damn NPC-Characters. WTF?! All in all seemed it was too expensive to make all the character-models they would have needed. Because it was mentioned that along Agathe there was another A-Rank-bracer from Liberl but even after it got finally revealed that it was Oliverts Girlfriend Shera, she didn’t show up. Not even in the final fight. Same goes for Mueller. I am sorry but I have to take points away for that. I get that a game like Trails, which is not half as popular as Final Fantasy for example, has a lot more money-issues then the guys from Sqaure Enix have with their Masterpiece, but seeing that in Trails of  Cold Steel 4, all those characters from the previous two games, including Shera and Mueller, are there and it is on the same console with hardly different graphics I don’t see why they didn’t just do the models for part 3 if they had to make them for part 4 anyway.

 Besides a few minor  things, that was all the bad stuff I find worth mentioning. The rest was really good. I have to especially mention the pacing one more time, because that was something I had a huge problem with in a lot of the JRPGs I played in the last 3 years. And I am talking about big games like Final Fantasy 15 or Kingdom Hearts 3, were you would expect that they did their homework and wouldn’t struggle with the pacing. In Trails of Cold Steel 3 the pacing was splendid. It was a bit hard in chapter 3, but just because they spoiled us in the previous chapters. So I just had to make it clear that the pacing of the whole game was really, really good in Trails of Cold Steel 3. In the end I would say this is by far the best game of the series (for now).

 7. What else? Were the hell did Towas “I think Angelica and George have feelings for each other” – thing come from? Girl! You yourself have been fallen victim to Angis totally crazy love for Girls and Woman more often than not, why on gods earth would you think a woman who likes cute girls would fall for George of all people?

I get that Alisa as the main girl of the previous games and Falcoms chosen Girlfriend for Rean has to show that she is pretty as fuck and all, but they had to put her into that machine where she had to sit with her legs spread apart, so why did they gave her that extremely short skirt AND gave her damn dark red panties? Seriously?

There was a huge ass-problem for everyone who hasn’t played Trails in the Sky in this game. It might be okay to not know much about Joshua and Estelle or Agathe and Tita or even the whole Hamel-Incident as they tried to explain at least the basics of it all… BUT if you haven’t played Trails in the Sky 3 you have no fucking idea about the Grahlsritter. You don’t know who they are, what they are doing or how their Stigma actually works and with not just Thomas Lysander and Rosi being part of this messy story, but also Gaius becoming one of the more powerful people of that group it would have been better to give us a more intense summary about all that stuff in case people haven’t played Trails in the Sky 2 and 3 yet.

Abendtime! I was laughing so hard when basically every character in this game was happy Abendtime was back, despite the circumstances around Vita aka Misty. Lector, while explaining that they try to use Abendtime to find Vita, who is part of Ouraboros, casually mentioning that he is also a fan of the show… XD I could so relate to that. Well partly. I always loved Vita, so I didn’t really mind her being part of that society. But I definitely missed Abendtime so much. I loved how she gave us small clues to what would happen on our next fieldtrip. “Watch out for changes in the weather” she said and then, one day on your fieldtrip you leave a building and suddenly the sky is all cloudy and you are like: “Uh-Oh…”

Do to Rean being the oblivious glory-hunt player that he actually really is, he is of course part of a lot of flirting and teasing and I mostly enjoy it, even if it has nothing to do with Alisa, but Musse has gone too far with her trying to put Rean under a magic spell to actually trick him into kissing her. Musse per se is not a bad character (although also not one of my favorites) but she got a whole lot of minus-points for that trick from me. Tho I liked that when Rean pulled out of the spell last second he was all like “Puh, that was a close one…“ XD

I love how after in the first two Trails of Cold Steel games, we actually only had to deal with Olivert, the Prince of Erobonia, we finally get to meet Oliver again, the traveling bard who helped save Liberl in Trails in the Sky. He jumped back into his old clothes and just nailed it. Teasing Tita and Agathe on the way too XD Boy did I miss this guy through most of the game, no matter if Oliviert or Oliver, he is THE BEST Character in this game. I can’t even imagine playing any other game of Trails without him being part of it in some way.

Poor Claire. She had it rough from the start. As an Ironblood she is having trouble doing what Osbourn asks her to do and still kind of don’t get in Reans way, as she has been in love with him from the start – and don’t give me that “little brother” – excuse bullshit. It didn’t work with Agathe and it certainly won’t work with Claire. I love how she is also connected to Juna. She might be an Ironblood, but she is a person that does the right thing if she gets the chance to do it and that is why it is so hard to see her suffer through most of the game.

I am torn between liking and disliking the fact that in this game, there are rarely any “normal” familys. Like, per se I like it that we have kids who have been adopted, raised by just one parent, or grandparent or aunt or something like that. It gives us a great variety and with that in some way, there will always be a character you can relate to somehow. It also gives those characters more depth. But sometimes it’s a little bit too much. I get that this is a game that plays after a great war and in a world where many dangerous things have happened for many, many years and I understand that it makes sense that they have lost people in the war and though accidents. I really get that. But there is hardly a person with a normal family in this game. And this doesn’t even just start with Cold Steel. Its not very different in Trails in the Sky either. And it starts to… you know… get boring in a way. I mean, look at Musse, who obviously is more then just a dukes niece. She is basically playing the role of Kloe from Trails in the sky, although her character is mostly different from Kloe, she still is the “hidden princess” somehow, with the fake name AND who also lost her parents do to a sinking ship. Its like they wanted to copy Kloes story as much as possible. I find this is a bit unnecessary. But its not the only “copy” of complicated and hard family-circumstances in this game. Although I have to say that I am proud that Trails barely uses the “Bad stepmother” – trope at all. On the contrary. In Olivierts case his stepmother helped him get better after his real mothers dead.

Speaking of which. The emperor of Erobonia got a Girl pregnant while he was still in Thors. Rean was 17 or so when he entered Thors and so  was almost everyone else. And they leave after not much more then two years. So… WTF kind of rolemodel is that Emperor? And why the hell did it take Rean almost until he was 21 before he slept with Alisa? That feels totally wrong now! XD

They could have answered at least a FEW of all those Questions we got so far in the Trails of Cold Steel – Series in this game, if you ask me.

Campanella saying “Was that really necessary?” when the Crimson Wings with Olivert on Bord exploded while Cedric (Oliverts little brother) basically saw it as a necessary price to archive their goals? Campanella got good points for that one. Like… the bad guys (not just him) standing there in shock and wondering if that was really something that had to be done to their enemies while Oliverts own brother just stands there and shrugs it off. Hell, do we have great villains. They do shit for their crazy goals, but at the end of the day, they are still humans… mostly.  Anyway, I found this scene really great.

[herokamijoutouma]

Hyperdimension Sephira Ep. 1 - Welcome to Gamindustri

Episode 1:

Welcome to Gamindustri

“Ahh! Damn! Damn! God damn it! This is definitely not my day!!”

Even as he realized his cries sounded rather strange, Tsukamoto Shizuki showed no sign of stopping his tremendous flight. As he ran through back alleys late at night, he glanced over his shoulder.

There were six of them.

He ran frantically all over for almost two kilometers, but there were still six of them.

Of course, Tsukamoto Shizuki had no way to win in a fight against that many unless he happened to be a former foreign unit’s cook or a cyber-ninja that had survived to the present day. In a fight between high school students, anything beyond one-on-three was out of the question. That could be called “impossible” even before taking any skill he might have had into account. Tsukamoto kicked over a filthy plastic bucket and frightened off a black cat as he continued running.

It was January 3, 2028.

A new year was just beginning, which would often be seen as a moment of celebration for most people, however, in Tsukamoto's case, he felt as though there was nothing joyous about it. At least not for him personally.

Any hopes of him believing that this would be a good year had been hopelessly crushed into the wind. After all, he was being pursued by six different people.

And there was a reason for that.

Tsukamoto Shizuki was an individual whose life was not worth telling about. If one were to see him, he would be seen as an average looking 17 year old who lived an average life with his family and friends. However, this was not entirely the case. While his life was somewhat mundane, it wasn't by any means normal. As of now, he was someone that was not desired by the world around him; an outcast shunned and sometimes mocked for his special circumstances.

In this world, there were humans that have been born with special abilities and attributes not belonging to those of normal human beings. As a result, the ordinary people in the world grew fearful and reacted in a multitude of ways. Some reactions ranged from hate groups, to task forces created by various governments to deal with these people, and even cases of fanatical worship. Hate and fear was what mostly gripped this world when it came to these beings and as such, they were given an official classification.

Espers.

People who developed supernatural abilities often at a young age. An unfortunate circumstance that tore apart families.

But that was neither here nor there. Shizuki's life was probably in danger, due to the fact that gossip had spread about his "powers" for a while now, which hurt him pretty much in most corners of his life. But he wasn't being pursued by some radical organization or some task force, but rather a group of delinquents who happened to be old classmates of his from middle school. People who heard about his "powers" and wanted to beat him up out of hatred for his supposed kind.

It was a chance encounter he had while walking back home from the convenience store, where the group had recognized him and decided to enforce their own sense of justice upon him by beating him to a bloody pulp.

The blue haired teen ran has fast as his legs could humanly carry him, wanting to get away from his pursuers. The delinquents were around his age of varying builds and heights, each shouting curses and threats while they chased him.

After making a couple roundabout maneuvers and turns, he found himself in a empty alley way with his path blocked by a wall. If the delinquents did somehow manage to catch up to him, he could have no way of escaping. Hoping that wasn't the case, he finally spoke aloud in strained gasps as he tried to inhale oxygen in his lungs.

"Did I... finally lose them?"

The teen laid up against the wall, trying to catch his breath as he slumped down to the ground. A sense of relief washed over him as was prepared to determine if the storm had passed. But that illusion would soon be mercilessly smashed.

"Yo. Corpse..."

("Damn...")

His heart immediately sank when he heard the delinquent's voice call out to him, using a name he came to hate so much.

There stood the five young men, looking down on him like a pack of wolves ready to tear into their prey. Shizuki jumped to his feet at once, his back immediately pressed against the wall, with an anguished expression. The leader of the group clearly saw how helpless he looked and thought to amuse himself.

"You know.... yer quite fast for a little corpse, I'll give you that."

"...."

Shizuki expressed a tinge of anger as the young thug spoke. Because of a specific incident that caused one of his powers to awaken years prior, classmates, and even some adults had been calling him that name ever since.

"Come on you guys... don't you idiots have anything better to do than to gang up on some outcast like me?"

"We consider it a great honor to beat up freaks like you."

One of the delinquents retorted.

"You damn Espers have been screwin' up the world for a long time lately. It's about time we finally do our part and show you that you damn'd freaks don't belong!"

The tallest one shouted, slamming his fist into his palm with great enthusiasm.

"How many times do I have to tell you bozos that I'm not an Esper?! I don't even have the Gene for crying out loud! Are you guys so thick skulled that you don't even know about that?"

The youth shouted with slight irritation as he was tired of being mistaken for an Esper and being treated as such by the people in this damn town. The blond haired delinquent finally spoke up addressing his leader.

"Yo senpai, This mutant has quite the shitty mouth. Don'tchya think it's time he learns his lesson?"

"Oh yeah, you got a point there Watanabe."

The leader of the group smirked as he walked toward Shizuki cracking his knuckles. He tensed up at this moment, getting into a fighting posture. This wasn't the first time he fought most of these guys before.

He fought them back when he was in his third year of middle school, though the fight had no victor as it was broken up by nearby teachers and students; a fight which resulted in Tsukamoto himself getting suspended while the aggressors had only gotten detention.

Before he could act however, the leader rushed at him and threw a punch that connected to his face so hard, it knocked him back into the wall and onto the ground. The youth tried to get up, but his attempt was stopped by the heavy force he felt kicking him back down.

The other delinquents chuckled maliciously as the gathered around the fallen high school student and began stomping his body into the ground. The hits had repeatedly connected with his head, arms, hand, leg, and even his crotch was not spared from the brutal assault these guys gave him. Shizuki could feel his rage building up as each foot trampled him mercilessly. Every time he intended to retaliate, his efforts would be automatically halted, angering him further.

("I hate this place... I hate these people.... I hate this world. I wish I could just disappear from this place for good.")

He honestly would not mind if these people had stomped his brains in and ended his life here. In this town, everywhere he went, some people would give him wary looks, as if he were infected by some kind of disease. he had friends in the past, but they abandoned him in one way or another, and his parental guardian, Tsukamoto Hakurei was always away from home due to "work."

He was alone. Loved by few and hated by many. Living a hollow life that was accompanied by misery.

"Just let me disappear for good... I don't even care how... I'm sick of this pointless excuse for a life."

He had bothered not even trying at that point, not even trying to defend himself, for he wanted his life to end in one way or another.

After having his body trampled on for what seemed like an eternity to the youth, the delinquents finally relented before the leader sighed.

"Man, that felt good. Nothing like beating the shit out of some Esper freak amirite?"

"You got that right senpai!"

The younger thug exclaimed, holding a thumbs up. The leader looked down on the boy who had a somewhat expressionless look on his face.

"But just for good measure..."

He raised his foot back before propelling it forward, hitting Shizuki hard in the head, which was enough to make him slip out of consciousness.

The young men laughed heartily in response to their gang leader dealing the final blow to the unordinary youth's skull.

"Careful bro, the dude might literally become a corpse."

One of the delinquents said so in a joking manner, showing almost no concern for the boy's life.

"Eh, you're right. Let's get outta here. I hear that new burger joint opened up yesterday."

"Aw yeah! I hear their burgers are the bomb!"

And as if forgetting he was there, the gun-ho males turned away from Tsukamoto and headed to their next destination, talking about inconsequential crap.

"...."

The youth laid there alone in the dark alleyway, writhing in pain from the beating he took. It was close to midnight and he was fading in and out of consciousness from the last blow to the head he received. His vision was starting to fade and it was only a matter of time before lost consciousness. But before he did....

"H...Huh?"

A figure stood before him.

The figure did not appear human, although it was in human shape. The figure resembled that of a human female in terms of how its body was structured, however, its features were heavily obscured by a bright light that it gave off. The female appeared to have long hair, though of unknown color and wore robes of unknown detail. If Shizuki could describe this thing, Goddess would immediately come to mind.

The light wasn't bright enough to hurt his already strained eyes, but it was enough too obscure her features so that only the outline of her figure could be seen and nothing more.

"W...Who are y...you..?

Tsukamoto called out to the <Goddess> in a weak tone, though she showed no reaction to his question. Instead, the being of white light walked toward the fallen boy and looked down on him for a few brief moments before speaking to him in an incomprehensible voice.

「" ─── My poor child. You have lived a hard life here have you not? I am sorry that you had to endure the hardships you had on this world."」

The being's voice was unbelievable.  It was filtered and disguised through unknown means, but he could definitely tell the voice was female despite his dazed state. Her voice carried a sense of serenity and strength, indicating that her words carried a lot of weight in them. She didn't radiate murderous intent but instead, gave off an aura that felt... motherly.

  「"I had hoped that you would be safe in this world.... but now I fear that your life is in jeopardy once more."」

He couldn't understand the being clear enough. His consciousness was fading and  it was only a matter of time before his vision would fade completely.

「"And so, I must send you away once more. May the Root bless you with a more meaningful life in the new world... and moreso ───"」

The <Goddess>'s tone became more severe as she uttered these last few words.

「"───may The Root protect you from evil that lurk within the darkness."」

A cryptic message had been given. The youth's ears heard it, but he was too out of it to fully grasp the information.

("A guardian angel huh..? Why come to my aid now of all times?")

Before Shizuki could even speak out loud, he could no longer hold on to reality, but the image before him would be ingrained in his memory forever. A girl made of brilliant white light, carrying the grace and serenity of an angel. If he didn't know any better, he swore he could have seen a smile on the entity's shrouded features.

The world suddenly became white and Tsukamoto Shizuki was no longer on Earth.

※※※※※

A pair of brown eyes finally opened after a long slumber. The youth awoke to find himself laying comfortably in a soft bed with the covers pulled over his body.

"Auhhh..."

The first thing his eyes laid their gaze upon was a white ceiling. An unfamiliar ceiling in an unfamiliar room.

"Where the hell am I... and why do I feel like I got body slammed by those fake TV wrestlers?"

The youth felt sore on multiple areas on his body, including an area where no man should ever be hit and to top that off, his head was assailed by a sharp throbbing pain, which caused him to hold his head in discomfort.

"Ugh.... what the heck was I even doing that made me feel like some bedridden grandpa?"

Tsukamoto searched his memories to find out what could have happened that resulted in his current situation. Then he remembered. The delinquents, the beating, and the <Goddess> that appeared before him.

"So that really did happen... the ass beating followed by the guardian angel showing up."

He thoroughly remembered getting stomped on by those thugs and the faces and remarks they made when they did so. Thinking about it began to stir up heavy emotions, namely anger. He also questioned if he really did see an Angel Goddess of any sort, but he could worry about that later. Right now, he had other things to figure out.

("What's up with this room? This definitely doesn't look like a hospital room...")

Indeed. A normal hospital room would be plain looking in design, but the room resembled that of someone's bedroom, and not just anyone's bed room; a girl's bedroom.

The walls were painted pink and the shelves were adorned with books, stuffed animals, and for some reason, an object that looked like a giant syringe sitting in the corner of the room.

("Whoever lives here must be a girl or... a really flamboyant dude with some interesting design choices. huh? What the hell is this..?")

The more he moved his body, the more he felt like something was restraining him in a way. He looked down at his body only to find that the shirt and jacket of his school's uniform was completely removed and that half his torso was wrapped in bandages.

("Ok, I know I took a beating but this is ridiculous. What kind of quack doctor stitches people up like this?")

Shizuki took a closer look at the bandage work. It had been wrapped around his body tightly, affected areas of the beatings included, but the work was so sloppily done, a real medical physician would laugh and think of it as a big joke... or facepalm hard.

"Some amateur obviously did this. I can't fault them for trying to help though, but did they really need to use this much bandage? I'm not even sure if I need them at this point."

The teen mused as he stood up from the bed and began undoing some of the bandages that were wrapped around his person. The areas that had either been bruised or cut had indeed healed, though said areas was still somewhat sore. It was no doubt one of his special abilities that he had loathed so much, and one that gave him the nick name Corpse to begin with...

Tsukamoto walked over to the room's only window only to have his eyes widen at the sight he was greeted with.

"What the..."

He realized that he was in a building, several stories high, of what he assumed was an apartment complex. He also noticed that the building was in the middle of large city, with building designs he had never seen before. At least not in Japan. Back in his hometown, there was no huge metropolis and his neighborhood only consisted of a row of houses and the occasional convenience stores in the area overall.

This city on the other hand, did not resemble his home town at all. The buildings were of varying heights and sizes, but all of them were white. Not that white buildings were uncommon back home, but not all of them were white like this. Another thing that caught Shizuki's eye was a towering large structure in what seemed like the middle of the city, arching over the buildings like some giant arch, only it was rectangular. If it wasn't for this huge structure, he would have initially assumed that he was in a city like Tokyo or maybe even NYC before observing more closely.

("...Okay. I'm not sure if I should be awestruck or panicking right now, but where the hell am I?")

The teen mentally commented as he begun to contemplate his situation.

He was in a room he didn't recognize.

He was in a building he didn't recognize.

He was in a city he didn't recognize.

At this point, he may as well have been in another country altogether. He was unsure how to feel at the moment. Part of him was glad that he was out of the place that he felt unwelcome in, but another part of him was wary of his new surroundings because he had no idea what would be in store for him.

However, before he could make any further attempts to process this turn of events, a sudden voice snapped him back to the present.

"Oh, you're up. Good morning sleepy head! Well actually, good afternoon!"

Shizuki turned around to face the origin of the voice. Standing in the doorway was a girl, no older than Shizuki himself with  hair that was a light creamy pink color, which was somewhat long and curls along the edges worn with a black headband with a C patched on the side. Her clothing consisted of a tan-white wool styled tank top with big neck and un-attached sleeves and matching styled boots, but with small ribbons/fuzzy balls at the top along with red plaid skirt and a black choker with a heart.

The teen remained silent for a while, before saying anything. This was really the first time, as far as he can remember being alone in the same room with a girl his own age, especially one whom he would admit was rather cute in his eyes. But such thoughts aside, there was a small feeling that something about this girl was familiar to him, but couldn't place his finger on it.

After a good few moments of silence, Shizuki asked the obvious question.

"Uh, I might be asking a dumb question here but, how on earth did you manage to drag me from a dirty alleyway in Japan all the way to...where ever this place is?"

The girl tilted her head in slight confusion at his words before answering his question.

"You fell from the sky and landed in the ground with a weird symbol scribbled on it.. so I pulled you out and carried you back home!"

The girl tilted her head in slight confusion at his words before answering his question.

"Well, it was just three nights ago that I saw a light in the sky... that was you!"

"Well that explains it... wait what? Light in the sky? Three Nights ago?"

The male was confused as to what she meant.  If what she was saying was true, then he was out of commission for damn near three days. Also...

"When I found you, you were laying in the middle of this weird symbol thingy drawn in the ground.. so I carried you all the way back home and has been treating you ever since."

The girl smiled innocently as if there was nothing odd with what she just told him.

"You carried me here all by yourself?"

Shizuki asked with some disbelief. As much as he had a hard time picturing the girl carrying him as if he were lightweight, He could only imagine the looks she would've gotten if anyone had actually saw her do so.

"Why didn't you take me to a hospital? That would've been way more simpler than just carrying me."

"Well, as you can see I'm a nurse in training! It wouldn't just do for me to not do my part and not treat you as best I can! Pluss..."

The girl trailed off for a bit as if she wanted to say something but held off on it, earning her a raised eyebrow from her guest. She then shook her head before resuming to a new topic.

"I'm Compa by the way! What's your name?"

"Shizuki. Tsukamoto Shizuki. It's nice to meet you."

The youth put on a pleasant smile as he introduced himself to his host.

"Nice to meet you uh, Shiza...Shizur... Shizu-kun!"

The girl named Compa fumbled over her words as she attempted to pronounce Shizuki's name before coming up with a nickname for him that was easier for her to say.

The teen tried to suppress his minor embarrassment as a faint blush briefly manifested on his face. He was not used to other people calling him by such names, as the last time he had been addressed similarly was when he was in grade school. He wanted to make a remark about the nickname he was given but that thought was replaced by yet another question.

"Wait, hold up... weird symbol? You found me laying in something like that?"

"Mm, it was really weird looking.. I never saw anything like it."

The girl nodded as she recalled the subject of interest and its appearance.

"Well, I'll admit, my curiosity's now piqued. If I was found in such a thing, I think it would do me well to check it out."

"Ooh! I can take you there then, Shizu-kun!"

There was still a lot that the Youth wanted to ask. About the events of last night involving that entity, his new surroundings and how he got there. His theory about being sent to a possibly different world by that thing was not thrown out of the window, but it was still to early to make such assumptions. If he were to see this supposed symbol he as recovered from 3 nights ago, he would hope to find clues as to what happened with him that night.

※※※※※

More than several minutes later had passed. The two had already left the apartment complex to go to the location where Shizuki was found just three nights prior. Following Compa's lead, he walked about the city and couldn't help but marvel at the sights. The buildings, roads and even vehicles seemed to be futuristic in design, and the pedestrians that walked around them wore varying styles of clothes that would cause one back home to raise an eyebrow and question their fashion sense.

what's more, there was a white and green rectangular structure in the middle of the downtown area that did not resemble any landmark he's seen before.

"By the way Compa-san, what the heckt is this place?"

"We're in the main city of Leanbox, one of the four nations of Gamindustri."

"Leanbox? Gamindustri?"

Tsukamoto uttered out the two unfamiliar words as if asking for confirmation. It seems that his theory about being sent to a different world was beginning to sound more plausible.

"Mm, Ruled by the goddess, Green Heart, Leanbox is called the land of prosperity. It's a beautiful country where people settle down to retire or start a family."

"Is that so? It does kinda seem like the kind of place to settle down or take a vacation to every once and a while... wait, Goddess?"

Shizuki aptly responded while taking in his surroundings before something she said caught his attention. Meanwhile, Compa nodded and continued with the explanation.

"Gamindustri has four nations, all which are ruled by goddesses. Purple Heart for Planeptune, Black Heart for Lastation, White Heart for Lowee, and Green Heart for Leanbox."

"Well, I guess it's official. I'm no longer on earth.... so these goddesses, what are they like?"

His theory was confirmed. He was without a doubt, in another world, one that was ruled by goddesses too. Despite this, he didn't seem that all concerned with the possibility of being stranded there, for one reason or another... Instead, he was more curious about the setting he was thrown into.

"Well, Nep-Nep's a lazy gamer that hates working, Noire's a busybody that spends all day in her office, Blanc's a shy anti social author who spends her day trying write novels, and Vert's also a gamer who spends too much time in her room."

"Eh?"

That description completely contrasted the kind of image he imagined the Goddesses would be. He pictured that they would be something like the Deities recorded in multiple religions and mythologies, some being kind and tranquil, some being vengeful, and some that were just plain vindictive, but from what it sounded like, the Gamindustrian Goddesses sounded more teenagers and collage students if anything.

With people like this running a whole country and its government, he was surprised these countries were still standing at all, much less functioning.

"That's... quite an interesting bunch. It sounds like you're pretty familiar with them though."

"Yeah! Nep-Nep, Ge-Ge, and everyone else are my friends! Maybe I'll introduce you to them sometime!"

The nurse in training spoke about her friends happily.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Oh?"

Shizuki returned a smile to the girl, before noticing something that caused him to stop.

The boy then went over to what looked like a pile of trash bags and had begun to shuffle through them.

"Hm? What are you doing, digging around the trash like that, Shizu-kun?"

Compa asked, tilting her head in confusion as she watched him rummage through the rubbish.

It was then that the boy had pulled out a long wooden object.

"Ah, perfect!"

It was a wooden sword. It was one of the wooden swords that were often used for training purposes by those practicing Kendo. Not lethal, but still very painful if hit hard enough by it.

"What's that?"

"It's a kendo training sword, and in good condition too... I wonder who would throw something like this away when it's not even damaged."

Tsukamoto mused as he inspected the weapon closely. Judging from the lack of dirt on it, it was likely that it had been thrown away very recently.

"I see that, but what are you gonna do with it, Shizu-kun?"

"We're going to a park just outside of town right? Who knows what kind of wild animal we'll run into on the way. Besides, I used to practice kendo for a while. This might be a good excuse to get back into it."

"Well, if you say so."

※※※※※

After walking for quite a while, the pair found themselves in a wooded area, surrounded by towering trees and nature, with only a small road that leads from the town and deeper into the forest.

There were no other humans visible in the area except for themselves.

During their walk into the park, the two had told each other about themselves, what their daily routines were, and what they were interested in. During this, Shizuki told her about the circumstances that lead to his sudden appearance in this world.

He may have omitted some facts such as his 'powers', but for the most part, he got the point across about him being from another world.

"So you're from another dimension?"

"It looks like it. I still don't understand it myself... who, or what was that thing that sent me here, and why?"

The blue haired teen's question was not really directed at his new friend, but more or less at himself as if reminding him if what really happened that night was real.

"Hmm, maybe there's something here that was missing in your world?"

"Hah, I sure wish it was something as poetic as that."

Tsukamoto shrugged, hanging his newly acquired weapon behind his head while walking.

"Still, you don't seem all that worried about being so far from home. Aren't you scared?"

"Eh? Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. This is a different world and a lot of things are so different. Even so, there's really no rush for me to get back home. I'd just like to think of it as being on vacation."

There were several reasons why Shizuki was not in any hurry to return to his home world. Most of them mainly revolved around how he was treated as an outcast because of his ability, and part of it was because the world in general was teetering on being too hostile for his own liking.

Between the chaos that was going on in the middle east, the uneasy vibe America was giving after its second civil war, and the heightened animosity toward Espers after several incidents, he did not want to stick around when all hell broke loose once more if he could help it.

Besides, he was curious about his new surroundings and the world he was brought to. The more he could find out, the more he could form an opinion to see if he was actually willing to stay here in the end.

"Well, until you decide to leave, you're welcome to stay at my place if you like!"

Compa offered, happily.

"Really? I mean, I don't want to be a bother if I can help it. Besides, isn't kind of weird having a guy you just met stay over your house like this?"

"It's no bother at all! Besides, it wouldn't feel right to just throw you out on the street... I also think you're a nice person Shizu-kun, so I trust you!"

Shizuki couldn't help but chuckle at that statement. he had been called quite a few things, but nice person was rarely one of them.

"Haha, well that's a first. I mean, I'd like to think I'm a nice person, but this is the first time someone's ever called me that outright."

"Really?" The pink haired girl tilted her head.

"Well, I guess the reason for that is that I don't really have a friend or two to chat with like this back home."

The youth cast his gaze off to the side as if remembering something unpleasant before trying to force said memory into the back of his head.

Before Compa could make a comment, she suddenly stopped and her attention was focused on something in front of her.

Shizuki noticed this too as he also stopped walking and looked at the scenery before him.

On the path before them were creatures. These creatures were frolicking around in the field before them like a heard of animals would.

Only these were not normal animals.

They were blue masses of unknown substances with dog like features with no arms or legs of any kind.

"Hey Compa-san, what the heckt are those?"

"Those are Doggos. They're little jelly monsters that look like dogs, but if you aren't quick enough, they latch onto you and try to get in your clothes. It's really icky.."  

The pink haired nurse grimaced as she recalled the last time she encountered a Dogoo.

"Sounds kind of gross... oh well, time to get started then."

With a brief stretch, Tsukamoto readied his wooden sword as if preparing for combat, his face donning an eager smile.

The gesture only caused his partner to give him a confused look.

"Shizu-kun?"

"These things will be a problem if we continue right? Then I should try to take the good lot of em' out to make the path easier."

"I guess so... but can you really fight?"

"I DID used to practice kendo for a while back home. While I don't consider myself particularly good, I think I can handle these guys no problem!"

Shizuki let out a wry grin.

Some of the doggos in question had just now noticed their presence and were slowly making their way to their position.

"Okay, if you say so... in that case, I'll help out too then! Um, just let me get this out..."

And without warning, Compa had pulled out a ridiculously large object that shouldn't be able to fit on her person.

It was a massive syringe with an unknown pink substance inside.

"H-Huh?! What's with that huge syringe?!"

The appearance of the object had completely caught the youth off guard. At first glance, it appeared to be nothing more than a standard medical syringe.

The only thing was its size. It was comically too big for anyone to casually carry it around.

"Oh, this is my weapon. I use it to fight bad monsters! It's really nifty!"

"Uh-huh... I'm not even going to ask where you pulled that out from."

The blue haired teen stared at his partner's 'weapon' in disbelief before turning his attention to the on coming wave.

"Alright then, let's mop the road with these guys!"

"Yessy!"

With their spirits fired up, the pair promptly rushed toward the group of dogoos with Tsukamoto leading the charge.

A sharp battle cry escaped his lungs as he swung the wooden sword down on the first target he saw near him. The strike sent the doggo in question back, before it was hit again from another attack from the sword. The second strike had damaged the creature enough that it had expired, disappearing in a few pixelated lights.

Shizuki went onto the next target and dealt with them in the same manner. Compa on the other hand took her Syringe(?) and aimed it at some of the slime-like creatures and began to fire projectiles that were seemingly made out of some kind of energy at the Doggos as if it were some kind of Gatling gun.

The Doggos went down with little effort as the energy projectiles hit at least five of them unimpeded.

The youth continued his close ranged assault with his new weapon, taking out the small creatures with swift strikes. Some had managed to dodge a few of his hits, but they were ultimately too slow as he got close and dealt the finishing blows.

It wasn't that he was strong. In a fight against any other creature or a trained human, he would lose for sure. The Doggos were fairly weak in comparison to other beasts however. Even a child with a baseball bat could deal with these things easily.

"Hah! This is pretty good exercise! I just might start practicing again!"

with a grin, Shizuki continued to fight back, hitting any Dooggo that came into close proximity of his weapon.

However...

"K-Kyaaaaaaa!"

A nearby scream had caught his attention.

"?!"

"D-Don't go in there...!"

He quickly turned around to see that one of the creatures had gotten the jump on Compa and had already latched itself onto her, trying to get into her clothes.

"Hang in there, Compa-san!"

He swatted one of the creatures aside before going to her aid, but his advance was quickly stopped as one of the Doggos had hopped onto his head, getting in his hair.

"H-Hey! Get off!"

The teen had quickly yanked off the creature throwing it aside when another one had attached itself to his pant leg.

"Oi Oi, Tsukamoto Shizuki is not a free ride for slime dogs! Off with you!"

The boy protested, shaking his leg vigorously in order to get the slime lifeform  to detach itself off his leg. The creature relented and it was dealt with with a swift strike to the head.   Shizuki then rushed over to Compa who was starting to get surrounded by a few of them while struggling to get rid of the one that latched onto her.

With small shout, he rushed over to his partner and struck the the masses of slime with his weapon, taking them out.

And at the same time, the pink haired nurse managed to force the thing off of her and threw it away before it was promptly struck in the head by a certain wooden sword.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine desu... is that all of them?"

"Yeah, I think so... Boy were those things persistent. I'm starting to see why you didn't like dealing with them."

Shizuki let out a sigh of relief as he extended his hand to help up his partner.

"Uguuu... I never wanna fight another doggo for as long as I live..."

The girl groaned as she took his hand and stood up dusting herself off.

The two took a brief sigh of relief, feeling that they had dealt with all of the blue masses of slime that proliferated in the area.

However...

They had noticed a large shadow loom over them from behind. The pair had slowly turned their heads to see what monstrosity has appeared this time.

A Doggo. More specifically, a Doggo that was ten times bigger than the ones they had exterminated.

Fighting dozens of smaller doggos were bad enough as it was, but a big one?

Shizuki's left eye twitched slightly as he imagined how much of a nightmare it would be to tackle this thing.

"...Yep, screw this."

And having said that, Shizuki took off running down the path they traveling on before.

"Wait for me, Shizu-kuuunn!"

Compa took off running as well, the giant mass of slime hopping after them.

※※※※※

After running for a few minutes, the pair had already lost sight of the giant thing. Doggos were not fast creatures at all and could be easily outran, and the same went double for the bigger ones. Fortunately, Doggos also tended to give up, once their target of interest had reached a certain distance.

In the end, they were not hostile creatures, but simply liked latching onto other people and getting into their clothes for whatever reason.

"I think we lost it..."  Said Shizuki as he rested his hands on his knees, breathing a bit heavily.

After a catching his breath for a few moments, he suddenly saw something that caught his eye just up ahead.

"Eh? What's that?"

He saw something that was etched into the ground just up ahead, but couldn't make out what it was from where he was standing.

"Oh, this is it!"

The pink haired girl spoke up before running over to the area Shizuki had spotted. With curiosity, the youth followed her lead and walked over to the area to get a better look.

"Ah, is this..."

On the ground before them was an intricately drawn symbol, almost resembling summoning circles drawn by cultists. Only two things stood out to them.

One of them was that the symbol was not drawn onto the ground. It was 'burned' into it, as if the ground was branded by whatever created the symbol.

And the other... it was drawn in such a complex way that the lines and writing seemed almost alien in design.

"This is where I found you, Shizu-kun. You fell from a light in the sky and landed right here."

"This... is definitely something. Now I'm one hundred percent positive that thing sent me here. I don't know of a single thing back home that could make something like this."

The teen walked over to the symbol and stepped inside of it before kneeling down and tracing his fingers through the lines that were burned into the surface.

"Compa-san, does this look like anything familiar to you?  Have you seen something like this anywhere else?"

The addressed shook her head.

"Nope, never seen anything like it before desu..."

"That so huh?  It doesn't look like there are any clues nearby about this thing either. Do you think we should head back and-"

A strange sound interrupted Tsukamoto, causing him to stop in his tracks.

"What the heckt was that sound?"

The sound was heard again, only louder. They could not determine where it came from, but it sounded nearby...

"I have a bad feeling about this desu..."

And in that moment, the ground their feet was planted on was rapidly crumbling from the added pressure.

It appeared that the ground they were standing on was hollow and whatever branded the ground and weakened it to the point of crumbling apart.

"W-Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!"

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

The pair screamed at the top of their lungs as they plummeted down into the depths unknown.

※※※※※

Darkness. That was the only word they could describe when they came to their senses. The sunlight and clear blue sky they were under was replaced with a dark ceiling made of rock, with a hole where the sun was shining down on them.

"Ohh..."

Shizuki lifted himself up and rubbed his head with his right hand. The fall didn't seem high enough to be fatal, but it was enough daze him and leave him with a few scrapes.

"Well that was terrible... Hey, Compa-san, are you alright?"

The youth looked over to his new friend as the person in question lifted herself up and rubbed her head, still dazed from the fall.

"Yessy... I think so."

"Where are we?"

Tsukamoto looked around to get a good view of their surroundings. It was indeed a cave. However, there was something unusual about it though.

Like most caves it was dark and wet, but rather than the cave being completely pitch black, it was dimly lit by a collection of blue glowing crystals, littered on the walls, ceiling and floors of the cave. Something which the youth never saw before in any cave as far as he knew.

"I think we're beneath the park... this place feels a bit weird desu..."

"I don't think we're going to get out the way we came... the hole's too high up to climb out of."

Letting out a dejected side, he got onto his feet and looked around for a possible way out. There were no rocks that they could stand on top of and the walls were too smooth and damp to climb on.

"But how are we going to get out of here, Shizu-kun?"

Asked Compa as she too stood up.

"There's a small draft coming in from the left... I'm guessing that leads to somewhere outside."

The blue haired youth faced the direction of the cave he had pointed out. There was indeed a draft coming from there, albeit faint and not immediately noticeable.

"Oh, I feel it too!"

"Let's get going, I don't want to hang around here too much."

"Y-Yessy!"

Tsukamoto shivered a bit before pressing forward down the cave, the girl nodding before following his lead.

About a good 19 minutes had passed since they started walking. They could feel the draft getting ever so stronger, but there was still no sign of any daylight from ahead.

The only light source that was visible in the cavern were the glowing crystals that scattered all across the walls and floors. For people who enjoyed dark rooms with ambient lighting, they would probably appreciate this place having its own light source with out any eternal power source.

However, the two humans that were currently traversing the dimly lit caverns did not share those sentiments. In fact, they were rather uncomfortable here, especially a certain pink haired nurse if her mild complaint was any indication.

"We've been walking for a long time Shizu-kun... are you sure we're going the right way?"

"The draft's gotten stronger hasn't it? Just a little bit further and we'll be out of this place soon."

Shizuki spoke as he gave his partner a reassuring smile. He did understand her complaints though. They had been walking for roughly 20 minutes and they had yet to find the exit. Being stuck in a dark place like this was bound to play with one's nerves if they were not used to frequenting such places.

Just as she let out a small sigh, Compa stopped in her tracks and turned her gaze upward at some part of the cavern ceiling.

"Hm? What's wrong, Compa-san?"

The girl remained quiet for a few seconds before shaking her head.

"Mm, it's nothing desu. Probably just imagining things."

Before Tsukamoto could say anything, a small bit of dust and rock began to fall in front of them.

"Man, I seriously hope this place isn't going to cave in on us."

Given how they ended up in these caves to begin with, it was not outside the realm of possibility that the ceilings were beginning to crumble apart. That however would pose another big problem for the two as the rubble would either crush them if they weren't fast enough, or it would trap them inside.

with this in mind, the pair were motivated to move more quickly than they had been.

However....

"?!"

Something else would be blocking their path entirely.

Dropping down from the ceiling above was an  tall, alien-looking creature that was brown in coloration with glowing red eyes.

Its body was appeared to have the torso of a humanoid with two long arms, each having claws resembling that of a scorpion or lobster's, a lower body that seemed to belong to that of an arachnid, and a long prehensile tail with a sharp object attached to its end.

What made the creature more horrifying is that beyond its seemingly humanoid facial features, it had a huge mouth that displayed multiple rows of teeth all over the inside of its mouth and two pairs of horns on top of its hairless head.

"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅――!!!"

The atrocity made a loud sound that no human could ever recreate, causing the pair to shield their ears.

Completely startled by this creature's sudden appearance, Shizuki fell onto his bottom and backed away by a foot.

"W-W-What the hell is that?!?!"

"T-That's a scary monster desu..!"

The pink haired girl quivered out while staring at the creature. She didn't appear to be as startled as Tsukamoto, but still found the monster's appearance to be unsettling all the same.

A certain tail stood up from behind that creature.

And like a jaguar pouncing on its prey, the tail shot out at Compa to strike her with its sharp end.

"Compa-san!"

Without thinking, the boy jumped to his feet and pushed his friend out of the way, but...

"Kuahhhh――!" The stinger had struck Tsukamoto, grazing his back in the process and tearing across the back of his school uniform jacket.

"Shizu-kun!"

"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅――!!!"

The abomination let out a loud sound as its tail retracted from the area it struck and stood up again, preparing for another go.

And without another moment's hesitation, the tail moved again only this time, it instead, wrapped around the pink haired girl and lifted her up off the ground.

"Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Compa-san! Hey, get your grubby little ha- er, tail off of her you discount Xenomorph!"

The youth demanded of the thing, while pointing his wooden sword at it. The gesture however, caused him to wince in pain from the cut he received on his back.

("I should probably take care of that first... but if I do use my regeneration, she might get suspicious.")

Shizuki had not told Compa about his abilities, when explaining his circumstances for appearing here.

The reason was obvious.

He did not know if there were any 'Gifted' people like himself in this world much like those back on earth, but he was not going to risk it. The girl who pulled him from that circle. The girl who treated his injuries and the only person he knows in this world so far.

 He had only known her for at best an hour, but he could already tell that she was a kind hearted person. Perhaps too kind.

But then again, there were those in his life who appeared almost as kind as she was, yet in the end, they turned on him.

Because he was not one of them.

Because he was different from them, people who claimed to be his friends turned on him and abandoned him when he needed them.

He felt like he had a chance to start over from zero in this new world he was brought into, leaving the turmoil he suffered from back on earth. If the only person whom he may have made a genuine friendship with in a long time found out that he was not human..

No. No way was he going to compromise his second chance. No way was he ever going to endure that kind of pain again.

"Help mee Shizu-kuunnnn――!"

("Gah! I can worry about that later!")

Having been pulled out of his musings by his friend's perilous screams, Tsukamoto closed his eyes several seconds and a faint azure light appeared on the wound on his back, slowly repairing the skin tissue.

"Hang on, Compa-san! I'll get you down from there some how!"

The youth assumed a stance, readying his weapon. The idea of facing a horrific Cave Dweller was terrifying him, but at the same time, he couldn't just turn tails and run away.

The girl recovered, treated him, and even offered him residence in her home despite being total strangers. To run away now would be paramount to throwing away her kindness. He had to save her. It was the least he could do.

The boy took a deep breath as he closed his eyes.

And within the net two seconds, his eyes opened as he sprinted at full speed toward the Cave Dweller and his weapon quickly moved in to connect with the atrocity.

A series of attacks were made as Tsukamoto repeatedly struck the beast with his sword, with as much speed and force as his mortal body could muster.

No part of the monster's lower body was spared as the sword connected with every part of the front lower body in an unrelenting flurry. After a good minute or repeatedly wailing on the thing, the youth finally stopped to catch his breath. However...

"...Hah?"

The attack had not damaged the creature. Not even a single one.

"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅――!!!"

In a sound of annoyance, the Cave Dweller made a single swipe with its long right arm and knocked him back into a wall, hitting his self repairing wound  on it.

"Gaaahh――!!"

"Shizu-kun!"

Cried out Compa, feeling the tail wrapped around her get tighter.

*HISS*

"Kuh... right back at you, smiles."

wincing from his wound and the impact in general, Tsukamoto slowly lifted himself up and glared at the creature. The damn thing was too strong. what would have bludgeoned a normal guy's face if they stood still, did absolutely nothing to the abomination.

("What now? I hit him as hard as I could and there's not even a scratch on that thing!")

And just when he was about to decide on his next action, the creature hacked up and spit out an unknown substance from its huge mouth.

("Shit!")

The youth instinctively jumped over to the left and landed on his side, narrowly dodging the fluid.

Said fluid had then begun to corrode and eat away at the ground where Shizuki was once at.

"Acid?! Really?!"

"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅――!!!"

He was not going to keep this up for much longer. No matter what he did, his attacks wouldn't hurt the creature, its tail was gripping the pink haired girl tightly, and it has shown it being able to spit out corrosive acid from a good distance.

The Cave Dweller was proving to be even more dangerous by the minute, and that was not going to change if he did not do something quick.

("Crap... I can't do anything in this situation! I'm as helpless as I was back with those thugs!")

The blue haired youth grimaced at his own powerlessness of this situation. He wanted to save the girl in front of him, but he was not strong enough to do it. It was the night in the alley way all over again. Unable to truly do anything in the end.

("If only there was something I could use...! Unless...")

There was something. Aside from his healing ability, Shizuki had another power that could possibly turn the tide in this situation. But...

It is something that he would never dare to utilize in any circumstance under sheer principle. It was an ability so awful, not even this atrocity deserves to suffer under it.

("No... I can't use that! I absolutely won't use that horrible thing!! But...")

Tsukamoto looked up at Compa who was struggling to breath from the Cave Dweller's Grasp. If this continued any longer, she will eventually be crushed.

He shut his eyes tightly, his body and hands trembling as they tightly held the wooden weapon.

"Damn it...!"

Just as he was about to give in, just as he was about to give in and go through with using that power, something unbelievable happened.

Three small silver streaks flew past Shizuki, and lodged themselves into the creature in three different spots.

The lower body.

The upper body's stomach.

And the creature's left eye.

And in that same instance...

*BOOM!*

Each of the three daggers exploded, causing the Cave Dweller to let out a horrific shriek and drop its hostage from its tail.

"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅――!!!"

"Wha――?!"

He barely even had a chance to react to this sudden turn of events, as a blue streak flew past him with great speed, snatched up Compa from where she had fallen and made a U-turn back toward his direction and grabbed him as well.

"Woaaahhh...!"

He was moving at speeds that no ordinary human could run at, being carried by a person he had never seen before.

From his angle, he could tell that it was a girl with long brown hair, wearing some kind of blue overcoat, but he could not see her face.

"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅――!!!"

Tsukamoto heard the Cave Dweller's demented cries as multiple foot steps were drawing closer from the end of the cave they ere being carried from. Some how, the atrocity had survived those exploding daggers and became pissed off as a result.

"Hey, we're almost out of here, so just hang on a bit longer."

The newcomer spoke for the first time, likely trying to reassure him after noticing his reaction to the threat that was approaching.

As they continued to be mobile, a bright light suddenly shone from ahead of them. They were rapidly approaching the exit of the dark cavern they were trapped in.

After emerging from the darkness, the girl in blue dropped off Shizuki and the semi-conscious Compa and spun around to face the cave entrance.  

With two quick strokes, the stranger threw two daggers at the ceiling of the cave and exploded within seconds, causing the rubble to fall on top of the Cave Dweller that was right behind them.

The creature was crushed and everyone was saved.

"Phew, that was cutting it close... are you two alright?"

The savior asked the pair, wiping her forehead.

"Other than a few scraps and loosing a few years off my life? Yeah, just fine."

"I'm fine too desu..."

A certain pink haired nurse muttered weakly as she sat up.

"That's good to hear. If  you hadn't texted me when you did, you would've been goners..."

"Thanks for saving our butts back there. I was almost going to- wait, text?"

Tsukamoto tilted his head slightly to the right in confusion. He felt as if he was missing something.

"Oh! While we were walking in that cave, I texted Iffy to come find us if we couldn't find away out."

Compa exclaimed, before taking out a pink cell phone and showed him a text message she had recently sent.

It read:

From: Compa Loveheart

To: IF

Sub: Trapped in weird cave with Shizu-kun. Trying to find a way out. Come find us if we can't get out desu!

"Oh. That makes sense... but how'd you find us?"

"Our phones have an app that let's us track our friend's movements. It's kinda neat."

The girl in blue explained.

"I see. So I guess you're one of Compa-san's friends?"

"Mhm, the name's IF. Nice to meet you."

The girl called IF gave him a friendly smile as she introduced herself. Shizuki returned the gesture with a smile on his own, holding his hand out to shake.

"I'm Shizuki. Tsukamoto... Shi..."

A dizzying sensation suddenly rushed over him. The world began to twist and turn in many direction, and his body became hot.

Eventually, he could not stand anymore and his body fell face first onto the ground.

"H-Hey!"

"Shizu-kun!"

Two voices called out to him, but they could not be heard. By that time, a certain blue haired youth had fallen unconscious from something overlooked.

On his back was a gash that had already closed up halfway, leaving a small wound that had begun to turn into a faint black color.

It had not immediately kicked in when it happened, but a toxin of some kind was injected into his body when the Cave Dweller struck him with its tail.

The world had gone silent for Tsukamoto Shizuki and everything was replaced with blackness.

Episode 1:

Welcome to Gamindustri