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penvisions · 7 months ago

Text

zest {chapter 1}

Pairing: Chef! Joel Miller x Professor! Reader (formally known as Bartender! Reader)

Summary: Changes are sudden, lifestyles are altered, and important questions bubble up but through it all, you have Joel by your side.

Word Count: 6.5k

Warnings: canon typical language, c'mon reader and joel have potty mouths, age gap (joel is mid 40’s / reader is late 20’s -early 30’s, protective joel, reader is canonically midsize, pregnant reader, surprise pregnancy, reader goes through nicotine withdrawal, smoking, cigarettes, nicotine use, lots of feelings, lots of emotions, complicated family dynamic, reader has family issues, death of a loved one, mention of life-threatening cancer, reader has religious guilt, restaurant lingo, triggers associated with the food industry, reader canonically has an eating disorder, mentions of therapy, references to time apart from each other, adult content, smut, piv, unprotected piv be safe y'all!), talk of marriage, adult conversations, joel and reader are down bad for each other.

REMINDER: this is a sequel series, the previous series can be found here {garnish}

A/N: THEY'RE BACK, BABY! ♡♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || masterlist || ko-fi

It’s the perfect spring day: sun shining in a warm but not hot brightness, a gentle breeze rustling the trees as you zip past them, an iced coffee, and the singing figure of Ellie in the passenger seat all make the first half of the day melt away. The amber of your sunglasses allows for everything to be swathed in the honeyed hue and you smile to yourself as you recall a rather heated comment from Joel ‘that every goddamn show feels so creative ‘n artsy when they slap the same tones over Mexico’ and then a softer set of words as he had cuddled closer to you on the couch ‘it’s not really like that, I’ve been there, darlin’, trust me’.

“What’re you all gooey lookin’ for, Sabrosa?” Ellie pauses to catch her breath between songs from the newest pop punk album from a band you first enjoyed in your teenage years. Unable to resist the temptation of adding it to your already laden down basket at the bookstore last week when you and the young girl had ditched Joel to run errands. “Ew, gross, don’t think about my dad while I��m sitting right next to you.”

“Oh hush,” You stuck your tongue out at her. Getting a kick out of how casually she sounded. It hadn’t ever been awkward between you two, or her and Sarah despite the six or so years between your birthdays. But then again, Sarah had let you into the secret of the older guy she had started seeing in her graduate program the last time she had been in town visiting… “It’s nothing dirty, just one of his many rants about my choice in television.”

“Lemme guess….oh! The washed-out way they show Mexico, huh? Cause you were watching…oh fuck, what’s that show called…”

“Breaking Bad.” Was the supplied answer from your lips as you turned on the turn signal and began to slow down to turn into the parking lot for the restaurant. It wasn’t operating hours quite yet, too early yet for the dinner crowd Joel preferred to cater to. But Ellie had a shift, and you were dropping her off after classes. She wasn’t in either of the ones you teach, having completed the two semester course you had started off with. But you both had a class that ended around the same time, living so close to the university, she liked being able to walk but then catch a ride with you. Tradition, the word rang in your head. Routine, followed it and you smiled wider at the way your life had fleshed out.

“That’s the one!” She exclaimed as she unbuckled the seatbelt and leaned back in her chair. “Man, I really don’t have the energy for work today, but the old man said we have a full reservation list and then open seating at the bar.”

“Gonna be that way for a while, the article about him came out only two months ago. Everyone’s clamoring for a chance to try the ‘bursting flavors’ and ‘exciting combinations’ of the renowned Chef Joel Miller.”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s hot shit right now, at least the restaurant is.” Reaching for her coffee in an imitation of you, she sipped at the whip cream, caramel whatever it is she had gotten. Coffee wasn’t her favorite, so she always got the espresso taken out, a glorified milkshake Joel had teased her once. “Proud of him, though. The restaurant was in shambles when he bought it from the previous owners, some shitty Italian place that never cleaned anything.”

“He’s done good.” You quietly agree, sipping from your own overly complicated drink. That was another tradition of yours and hers, to make your way through the menu at the coffee shops on campus, always pausing to get the special of the month. Joel claimed he didn’t understand the need for so much stuff mixed in with coffee, but you caught him stealing sips of yours if he were to come across it unattended around the house or when you were out and about with him and treated yourself.

“There’s my girls.” Joel chimes as you input your code into the gate for the employee parking and round the side of the building. His voice filtering in through the open windows as you pull into a spot and cut the engine. He’s leaned against the back of the building, cigarette in hand. “Was wondering what took you so long.”

“Accident on the main road, had to detour.” You appease as he approaches to open the door for you and pressed a greeting kiss to your cheek as you roll up the windows. He does the same for Ellie as she sidles up beside him for a side hug before trotting off to the door and disappearing through it. He let’s you pluck the lit cigarette from his fingers as you shoulder your bag and close the door. His hand goes around your waist to walk alongside you toward the building.

“As long as you two are safe, that’s all that matters. Today’s special is spaghetti all nerano, wanna do some grading here and try a plate?” He takes the smoking roll back from your offered hand and takes the last drag before tossing it into the pale beside the door. Opening it and leading you through it with a hand hovering over your lower back.

“That sounds yummy, I’m starving.” You toss him a smile over your shoulder before greeting everyone with a wave.

It’s well into the third hour of service and you never got the chance to leave once the doors opened. The bar had been struggling, Millie having taken over as manager and Mary trying to appease the picky impatient customers who all want a taste of the raved over menu and a glimpse at the alluring Chef Miller.

Picking up a shaker and twisting a bottle of vodka in your grip, you glance at the ticket that just printed and adjust the amount you free pour into it. Mary had been looked so guilty as she approached you’re the table where you do your work on a regular basis, the question of if you were willing to help out getting drinks started for those waiting on tables barely out of her mouth before you were nodding and cleaning up your stuff. It was now safely tucked away in the office and you were moving at a fast pace behind the bar to keep up with everything. Millie stepped down to let you take the reigns, knowing she would only get in your way. Ellie could be seen picking up and dropping off glasses at the well as often as Millie as she acted as barback.

The restaurant was buzzing, excited conversation and pleasant atmosphere making you remember the tingling high of getting off from a busy shift with a wad of cash tucked into your pocket. Just as you place a strainer over the shaker and begin to pour the contents over six shot glasses the door to the kitchen swings open and Joel walks through. You’re too busy, so you shift the chilled shots to the mat over the well and place the corresponding tickets beside them. Moving onto the next drink, you rinse out the shaker with the star sink in place.

His eyes catch yours through the crowd of people when you look up as Ellie comes up to take the shots and then watching as she delivers them, the sound of the shaker loud in your ear as you hold it over your head. His steps don’t falter as he approaches the table, he was delivering the plate to, but you could see something flash over his face. He’s back behind the door as you move to lodge the shaker open.

The night goes by quickly, taking orders for those lucky enough to snag a spot at the bar but hadn’t been able to make a reservation. Shoving each cash tip into a pint glass for the girls and even taking a few business cards from people interested in hosting parties in the space. You’ll be sure to pass those along to Mary, even if some of them requested you as the bartender. You didn’t mind, missing the atmosphere and good moments you had experienced in the setting. Ellie is taking back the remaining dishes from the last few tables, Millie is out back smoking after helping to clean up the bar top when Joel ambles from the kitchen once again.

He's got his chef’s coat unbuttoned and loose around the shirt underneath, the glint of his belt buckle catching the fairy lights around the bar. His steel curls are slicked back, but you could see the frizz and fluffiness where they rested over the back of his neck. He had been saying he needed a haircut, but you had made a sound in the back of your throat that made him put it off.

His eyes are trained on you as you move the trash cans full of empty bottles to line up beside the drink pick up area. You’re about to return behind the bar with a wink thrown over your shoulder when he snakes his hands around your waist and pulls you to him. He smells amazing, the perfect mix of savory spices, smoke, and Joel.

“Playin’ restaurant, huh? Thought you went home and passed out.” He leans down to kiss your jawline.

“Nah, Mary asked for my help when Millie got swamped.” You breath out, hands coming up to rest on his chest and push should he get a little too enthusiastic in you still being here.

“Not your responsibility.” His eyes hold no real heat or command, you know it’s born from a place of worry, of not wanting you to stretch yourself too thin.

“It’s okay, baby. I don’t mind.” You cradle his cheek in one hand and play with the collar of his open coat with the other. His eyes glance down, the glitter from your lotion catching the light on your neck and chest.

“Hmm, you looked good. Dress looks good on you, shakin’ those drinks and-“

“Dad, holy crap, it was so busy tonight. Some dude tipped me like fifty percent because he was trying to impress his date!” Ellie plops down on a stool with her server’s book. She doesn’t even look up from where she begins to go over the receipts. “Wait until everyone leaves to start doing that or better yet, wait until you’re home to do that.”

“One day you’re gonna meet someone and it’s gonna be hard to keep your hands to yourself.” You only giggle at the typical parent response from Joel. Ellie wasn’t a touchy-feely person, but you were sure she would be with the right person, you’d seen her flirty interactions with girls while out with you and your friends, tagging along for the free drinks and to have safe company. She was pretty smooth if she didn’t get into her head too much, soft touches to shoulders and waists, though she steadfastly refused to dance. With anyone, no matter the setting.

“Gross,” She begins to fill out the printed shift report before organizing the receipts in order and then asks you for the stapler. Detangling yourself from the man, you do make it back behind the bar. That’s when she notices the pint glass. “Holy shit! You made all that?”

“Huh? Oh, no. The restaurant did. Here.” You hand the wad of bills over to Joel. With your own shift report and stapled receipts. He uses two nimble fingers to extract the shift report but leaves the cash in your hand. Frowning, you track the report as it’s tucked into his back pocket along with Ellie’s. Her own cash tips secure in her booklet.

“Also gonna see about getting some of the petty cash from the safe for the hours you worked.” He begins to take the full bags from the trash cans, tying the ends together tight.

“Joel.”

“You worked, you get paid.” He doesn’t look up as he reaches into the bottom for the rolls sitting inside and begins to place new ones over the lips of the plastic.

“I’m your girlfriend. Who used to work here. I was just helping out.”

“Nope, not gonna fly, darlin’. It’s yours.” He slides the empties cans back around the bar for you to put back in their designated places.

“If you don’t want it, I’ll take it.” Ellie reaches for it and you let her swipe it from your hand. Only for Joel to set her with a look. “Oooor not.” She says as she puts it down atop the clean bar top.

“Joel!”

“Can’t hear you, Sabrosa, gotta make sure the kitchen duties were done.”

“Seriously, I’ll take it if you don’t want it.” You quirk an eyebrow at the younger girl, but Millie bounces up and says everyone was going out for a bite at the taco truck parked a few blocks down. They have a spot in a lot that has picnic tables and offer late night service. Ellie takes off, ensuring you she’ll text either you or Joel when she’s back at the townhouse afterwards. She’d been staying the second bedroom there more and more, as you found yourself splitting your time pretty evenly between it and Joel’s. He would join you sometimes, but certain nights either you needed you own space or he did and that was okay.

Sighing, you lock the patron door behind her and turn the sign from open to closed.

As you’re double checking everything is shut down properly, you open the washer to let the last load of glasses air dry, the steam billowing out. Turning when you hear the swing of the kitchen door again, Joel has his chef’s coat tossed over his shoulder and his backpack over the other. His eyes zone in on the cash and then a smirk takes over his face. You turn your attention back to the washer and ensure it’s off before you round the bar top and makes sure it was swept underneath the stools. You’re about to ask him which car you were gonna take home when you spot a crumpled napkin you must’ve missed.

As you bend down to pick it up, you feel thick fingers sneak beneath the skirt of your dress. You don’t think anything of it until you feel Joel tuck a bill from the stack into the band of your panties. Knuckles grazing against your slit as he moves to the other hip and does the same. You shoot up, the napkin forgotten as you try to turn around.

“Nu-uh,” His palms come to rest on your lower back and shoulders, bending you over one of the stools as the heat of his body looms close. He whispers something about having to scrub the video cameras set up around the dining room before you hear the clink of his belt being undone and feel him move your panties to the side. You throb at the feel of the cooler air circulating around the room, a gasp leaving your lips as he gently runs the head of his cock over your folds, arousal from you both making it such a smooth motion.

As he reaches over your back for something, he fills you up, the stretch of his girth feeling like a reward for the hectic shift completed. But you know the night would’ve ended like this either way.

A moan rips from your chest as he grabs a hold of whatever he had been trying to get, hips flush with yours. He chuckles, pleased with himself before his hands sneak around to cup your breasts as they threaten to spill out from your dress at the prone position. His fingers tuck more bills into your underwear, beneath the straps over your shoulders, into the already full cups to peak out over the swell of your chest. He even tucks one into the mess of your hair thrown up into a clip at the back of your head before his hands secure around your waist and he begins to thrust.

That’s the last memory you have of both smoking and drinking, only a few days before you had anxiously waited for a piece of plastic to tell you your fate. It was now a month since finding out, Joel making sure to go with you to get confirming bloodwork and a full physical. The headaches from missing both finally having abated. Joel on the other hand, he was sneaking cigarettes, you could smell the lingering smoke on him when would come home and you were still up. It didn’t really bother you, knowing he indulged for far longer than you had in the bad habit. But you missed the social aspect of the act, of seeking out the designated spots around campus and chatting, of sitting out on the back patio with Tommy as he enjoyed one on the evenings he stopped by with his own little family for dinner.

But it was all worth it, you mused as you poured yourself a cup of steaming water into what was once your coffee mug. Tea was something you indulged in now, the cupboard filled with the different types you were trying to work your way through to see what would help with the onslaught of nausea and also appealed to your tastebuds. You preferred the fruity ones, just like you did with your cocktails, hence the nickname Ellie had graced you with that stuck.

Jingling keys and heavy footsteps signaled you to Joel’s return, the sun still shining on the calm afternoon. He had been gone when you showed up at his house, a cookout planned for the day. Tommy and Maria had been here an hour, the grill just about ready for the first of many things to be cooked and the pool was sparkling as it awaited the arrival of Sarah and Ellie. You had spent the morning cleaning it of debris and adding a few treatment drops. The whole family getting together. It was good, it was a good feeling being surrounded by them all. You and Maria hitting it off even more over the news of what was to come. Her own child now nearing two, she had given birth while you and Joel were split. But you had sent a care package and visited her in the hospital with her favorite takeout.

It was so domestic, so full a life…it made you wonder why you hadn’t been able to experience it as a child yourself.

“Missed ya, darlin’.” Joel steps up behind you and embraces you. Kissing your temple, you feel the frown mar his lips as you don’t respond. “Everythin’ alright?”

“Yeah,” You mumble, turning in his hold and wrapping your arms around his chest. He smells like cinnamon and the grill brick he used while closing up the restaurant after a brunch shift and you breathe him in as you press your face into his broad chest.

“Gotta shower, wanna join me?’

“The girls will be here soon.” You hold him tighter, missing your own family even if it had never been the same as his own. Dinner once a month with your own father, no visits offered or initiated, grandparents raising you since you were young. A mother who had passed early due to complications from cancer she hadn’t known she had until she was pregnant with you herself. “Wanna make sure everything is ready for them.”

He peppers kisses into your hair before pulling away and disappearing upstairs.

The afternoon continues, the smell of grilling meat and roasting vegetables lilting into the air alongside ruckus laughter and bad jokes. Everyone is comfortable around the patio and the in the pool, food served and consumed. Just a few bites left of everything, Joel ensuring you that he would heed your cravings and what you felt like you could stomach, not worried about leftovers lately.

“So when do we get to meet the rest of the Sabrosa clan?” Tommy askes around the lip of his beer bottle. He’s across from you at the table, Joel off by the grill as he messes with something he hadn’t let you sneak a peak at.

“Oh, um…you don’t?” Caught off guard, the bite of food falls from your plastic fork frozen halfway to your mouth.

“No siblings or nothin?”

“Um, well-“ Clearing your throat you take the bite and chew it contemplatively. Honesty or the thinly veiled truth? Your mind is working hard, something Maria must hear in her seat beside you at the patio table. She shoots Tommy a look you catch out of the corner of your eye, trying to keep calm so the child in dozing in her arms doesn’t stir. “I’ve got two half-siblings, but we don’t keep in contact much.”

“They gonna be at the wedding?”

“What wedding?” “Oh my god, dad! You proposed and didn’t tell us!” Ellie and Sarah holler from where they’re in the pool, one of them resting on a floating device and the other is practicing her laps to get more comfortable in the water. Joel turns from where he was ensuring the grill was off and brings over the s’mores dip he had just let melt to perfection. Your stomach rumbles at the sight of the gooey swirl of marshmallow and dark chocolate, of the rye biscuits he must’ve whipped up at work steaming beside it in a single use tin. Set up with a divider in the middle.

“Haven’t proposed to ‘er yet, quit it.” He sits it down atop a trivet, but no one makes a move to reach for it until he gives the go ahead. But he doesn’t until he’s got one of the dark biscuits covered in the dip and set in front of you. Then it was fair game as the girls begin to swim across the length of the pool, or well Sarah tries to glide her floaty across while Ellie does. Tommy readies one for Maria before making his own, quirking an eyebrow at you as he watches the pull of the dip.

“But your dad is gonna walk you down the aisle, right?” Tommy presses on, not catching onto the awkward way you were shifting in your seat or how you had placed your fork down to rest on the edge of your paper plate. The dessert untouched. But you don’t get to think of an answer before one is flying from your emotionless face.

“Can’t, he’s dead.”

Silence falls over the once happy and jovial backyard, the splash of Sarah slipping from her floating longue echoing.

“Tommy.” Joel’s voice is firm as he pins his brother with a mild glare. Maria is equally unpleased with her husband’s penchant for talking without thinking, not reading the room. He yelps as she kicks his shin underneath the table.

“It’s okay, wasn’t much of a father when he was alive anyway.” You reach for the mocktail you had made a pitcher of for you and the girls to enjoy. No one says anything as you pour yourself another and take a sip from it. Not liking the tension that had crept into the atmosphere, you gather up your nearly empty plate and stack it atop Maria’s to take inside, making more room for the messy dessert. Slinking away, you feel Maria reach out a hand to trail down your arm, comforting you before you’re gone back into the house.

“You dumbfuck.” Ellie mutters under her breath, earning a glare from Joel over his shoulder for her language. But he doesn’t disagree. You do, but it wasn’t his fault. How was Tommy supposed to know he had picked the one subject you had nothing good to say about?

“Shit, I- holy shit.” Tommy’s voice follows you before he yelps a second time as Joel brandishes the still warm tongs from serving biscuits.

“Way to shove your foot in your mouth, we were havin’ a good time.”

“I didn’t know! I thought she was just quiet about her family not that she didn’t have any.”

“Tommy, you’re the father of my child and my husband but you are seriously so stupid sometimes.”

“Dad, she-she doesn’t have any family?” Sarah is tearing up, affected by the sudden realization of why you never brought anyone around except for a friend every once in a while. She could understand not having a mother, as her own was so distant, only showing up when she needed something or felt lonely in the life she created for herself. But to not have a dad? That was all she knew and she couldn’t fathom how her life would have been without him in it;.

“She’s got us, baby girl.” Joel goes to run a hand over her shoulder and press a kiss to the fluff of her kinky curls as she stands beside the pool set into the ground outside the patio. He wraps the towel she brought out around her and rubs it across her shoulders before lifting his hands. “We’re her family, pretty good deal, huh?”

“Dad….”

“She’ll be okay, I promise.”

The laid back vibe from the afternoon returns once everyone piles into the living room to watch the season finale of an admittedly awful reality tv show. But everyone was hooked and harmless bets were made on who would cause the most drama and how things would end. You’re a little subdued, but you make comments along with everyone else and laugh at the absurdity of what happens on the screen.

Stepping out of the bath you had decided to soak in, you startle when you see Joel sat on the small bench in the master bathroom across from the vanity as you pull back the shower curtain. He’s already changed into his sleep pants, his freckled and bronzed chest on display through the steam.

“Darlin’, why didn’t you tell me your dad was passed?”

“Because it doesn’t matter.” You stand in front of him, taking in the way he watches you through the mirror as you press a bead of toothpaste onto your toothbrush and wet it before popping it into your mouth. A heavy silence fills the room, tangling with the rose scented steam from the bubble bar you had used. The pink water swirling down the sink a near silent hum.

“It-uh, kinda does. Makes me feel…like a whole wedding would be…”

“You don’t have to ask me. We don’t have to get married if it’s going to be a problem.” Shoving down the worries and residual guilt of being raised in a certain religious culture at the thought of having a child out of wedlock, having a child as a single woman you catch the man’s gaze through the mirror. The burn of embarrassment simmers beneath your skin, shame for feeling such embarrassment sparkling behind it, creating a swirl of emotions you hadn’t wanted to feel this close to bed with an early class. You want to marry him, to experience that with him, to live life together as husband and wife, but it feels perfunctory when you didn’t even believe in the reasoning behind why you felt that way. He’s frowning, his brows knit close together, something off in the depths of his brown eyes.

“It’s not a problem…right?” You see the worry flickering through him, in the way his eyes shift and the way he clenches his fists in his lap. “I just…you know you’re a part of the Millers. Have been since the moment you caught my attention, but baby…I don’t want you to feel lonely if it’s my family and your friends.”

“Are you insinuating because I don’t have a family of my own, I’m somehow missing something?” Anger flared hot and sticky in you, washing out the embarrassment. The heat from your bath making it so much worse and you cross the room to pull the door open. Back at the vanity, you ignore his gaze and rinse out your mouth before moving on to clean and moisturize your face. He’s quiet behind you, knowing he phrased his sentiment wrong and this…this communication was new for you both. Still hard sometimes as you both realize how deep some things run and how different you could be.

“You know I’m not.” The gaze he has trained on you reminds you of the way he would watch you through the kitchen, tensions high as you both couldn’t seem to get your heads out of the dirt and just be honest with each other. A time that had passed, allowing for the present to bloom.

“Then a wedding wouldn’t be a problem. But it’s kind of moot, you haven’t proposed.” You don’t anticipate the slight edge to the words as they leave your lips, but they slice through the air. You feel shame overtake the waning anger, making your face hot underneath your massaging hands. The burn of tears threaten to ruin the routine you just completed and you hiccup as your hands flatten atop the vanity, head hanging between your shoulders. You do not like this, but you have no idea where it’s coming from. It really doesn’t bother you that he hasn’t asked. You know he has the intention to, the agreement of a visit to town hall and then a small party to celebrate. Nothing fancy, nothing crazy, simple.

“Hey,” He whispers as he comes up behind you, hands resting over the quick beating of your heart, his naked chest pressed to your back, the damp towel the only thing separating you. But you can feel his own heart between your shoulder blades, strong and sturdy. Grounding you in the way you had explained you preferred when overwhelmed. “I promise I wasn’t trying to upset you, just want you to be comfortable, to have everything you deserve.”

You let him help you to dry off the rest of your body, lotion lovingly applied to your body by his hands before you slip into a nightgown and slip between the sheets beside him. You kiss an apology to his lips, needing him to know that it was just initial panic and not the real way you thought or felt. He accepts it and offers one of his own, lips pressed to your chest, right over your heart before sleep takes ahold of you both.

“I said don’t.” You warned, no humor in your voice. You had tried and failed to put on every one of your pairs of pants, jeans, leggings, and none of them were comfortable. None of them zipped, buttoned, or stretched enough underneath the slight bump that had seemingly blossomed overnight. Joel was sprawled on the bed, working his way to getting up at the late hour. He had been at the restaurant late, later than usual as they had a party stay well after service hours. He had let the staff go on time, ensuring they would get the tip out but not wanting them to have to stay once all the cleaning and side work was done. One of the many things you adored about the man, his willingness to heed situations like that in favor of his staff even if he was gruff and to the point most of the day.

“Didn’t say nothin’, darlin’.” He rumbled from beneath the sheets, tan skin looking deliciously golden paired with the pale pink set you had insisted changing from the white that had previously been curled around the mattress. You had woken up with bad cramps last month, terrified something had happened as you pulled back the covers to find blood spotting the pristine fabric. A quick trip the emergency room as he shared in your panic, albeit in a more controlled way, assured you that spotting was normal during the early months of pregnancy.

“Dress...” You muttered to yourself, hand cradling around the small bump. Joel only hummed, stretching out to alleviate his sore body, thick legs appeared from beneath the fabric. Your eyes traced the long lines of his body through the mirror atop the dresser, drinking in the sight of him and your body began to thrum with arousal. When your eyes roved up the expanse of his broad chest dusted with dark hair to his face, he was smirking at you with an eyebrow arched in a silent question of how long you would ignore his deliberate departure from the bed.

You had all but jumped him when he got home last night, papers you were grading scattered all around you on the couch and coffee table, a Josh Gates show on the television for moral encouragement. He had teased you once about your affinity for the man but you had clapped back with his borderline obsession with Anthony Bourdain, to which he simply said ‘can’t help it darlin’, the man knew his shit’.

The dinner he had brought home had been tossed to the entry way table, as you knelt down to help remove him from his shoes and pants. Mouthing at the line of him through his boxer briefs before he could even get his keys hooked on the mirror over the table. He had been prepared to find you fast asleep, a different kind of tired taking hold of you more and more, almost demanding naps during the day when you got home from campus and right before dinner if you hadn’t worked. But you had sprung up from your spot and welcomed him home, the food forgotten in favor of getting your fill of the man that had been consuming your thoughts. The thought makes his cock fill, twitching underneath the sheets as he recalls your enthusiasm.

He sees the way your eyes dilate at the movement, the hush of his hand skimming down to grip himself.

Suddenly, you’re no longer debating over the clothing flowing from the draws inside the closet or those of the dresser. You peeled the pants you had been fruitlessly trying to zip up and nearly threw yourself at him. He greedily accepts your frantic kisses, starting from his shins and all the way up neck to finally connect with his own. He groans at the taste of coffee you had allowed yourself this morning, his own cup still steaming on the bedside table. His glasses beside it, his cellphone lighting up only to be ignored.

“Does mama need some attention?” He breathes into your open mouth, large palms caressing the exposed skin of your hips. His hands graze your middle, and you shy away from him, self-conscious of the extra jiggle, the stretchmarks from rapid weight fluctuation of your years now accommodating the swell of the beginning signs of the life you two had created together. “Hey, no, c’mere.”

You’re sure he sees the flicker of emotions across your face before you school it into a cool arch of your brow, the playful smirk of your lips. Falling back on bravado that wanes far too quickly these days as your hormones ping pong all over the place. You were just as apt to burst into silent tears as you were to jump him, confusing for you and devasting for him as he tries to read your moods as well as he can. He was hoping to dislodge the habit of you seeking refuge in the townhouse you had gifted Ellie, her own budding relationship prompting her to ask for her own space just as the new stage of your life became known to them. Equal parts of respect for the more tender and tense moments sure to happen and yearning for her own space again.

“Mama needs some new clothes, wanna spoil me?” Your voice is a confident hush, hands reaching forward to urge him to shift closer, both of you on your sides and facing each other.

“Do anythin’ for you, darlin’, you know that.” His teeth sunk into the curve of your neck, tugging you back to him. That seemed to get you to forget your insecurities as he felt you pull him closer, your smaller hands so soft on his chest as they caressed his skin.

“I think I wanna go to that fancy mall, maybe get some pretty underwear that won’t make me feel like a total loser.”

“I’ll take ya anywhere you want, maybe even that big shopping center in Dallas? It’ll be just like the trip we took to Arizona. Could get a hotel, see the sights and just relax. Hear they have a mac and cheese restaurant in the arts district.” He rolls to pin you down, and you move to allow him space between your legs instinctually. Body hovering over yours as he kisses down your neck, your chest, he lets his words sink in. The bralette you had put on doing nothing to hide the perk of your nipples. He laps at them through the thin fabric, delighting in the way it makes you arch up into him. You were so sensitive to his touch lately, your body on high alert as your hormones fluctuate erratically.

“That’s a lot, Joel. Shouldn’t we-“ Your hesitant words are cut off by a searing kiss, the press of his skin against yours making it hard to keep your train of thought.

“We should do what we want, darlin’. Wanna get everything sorted to go this weekend?”

Tears are suddenly pitter pattering over the sheets, darkening the fabric where they land after rolling down the sides of your face. He pushes his weight from where it pressed you to the bed, back on your sides and you let him, unable to stem the tears.

“Oh hey, hey it’s okay,” Joel crowds close, the thin fabric separating your bodies as you bury your face in his neck and curl your legs up, knees pressing into his stomach. Hiccups startle you both as you find it suddenly hard to breath through the onslaught of emotions spiking. “Hey now, darlin’, it’s alright.”

“I’m sorry,” You mumble into his skin, embarrassment flaring up hot in your cheeks and chest. You feel so silly, pulled in too many directions in so quick a succession. “I just…you’re so hot and I’m all bloated and my skin feels all tight and I really want some ice cream.”

Twenty minutes later, you’re happily spooning a sundae into your mouth with a red plastic spoon in the passenger seat of his truck. All the tears and frustration gone from you as you held tight to the treat in your hands with far too many flimsy napkins. He’s got a cigarette dangling from the hand he rests on the inside of the door, trying to keep as much smoke from wafting back into the cab as possible. Errands, today was an errand day and you smiled over at him. Pairs of sunglasses meeting, eyes hidden beneath them. He just leans over to press a kiss to your temple, not wanting to disrupt your enjoyment of the ice cream you literally cried over.

next chapter

taglist: @hiddenbabynyc @jessthebaker @clevergirl74 @anavatazes @samiamproductions @76bookworm76 @tuquoquebrute @sarap-77 @koshkaj-blog @corazondebeskar-reads @ozarkthedog @littlemisspascal @endlessthxxghts @its-nebuleuse @janaispunk @sawymredfox @cumberpegg @grandanchorkitten @noisynightmarepoetry

@regalwhovianbrowncoat774

@pazizz

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viquipo · 6 months ago

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No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

#text post #rant post #ramblings #jwcc #jurassic world chaos theory #jurassic world camp cretaceous #jwct #ben pincus #headcanon #kiss my fat nuts #also ive lived in Italy my whole life and have never seen ben pincus girlfriend????#uhm that's weird #she lives in... Europe?#which could mean nothing

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torturedblue · 1 year ago

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Part 2 of endless Disaster Twin parallels, the not so fun version

Part 1, the fun version

Considering the series shows Donnie coming off as autistic, he’s portrayed that way much more in fan art and fanfics, etc. We often see it in fan portrayals through an aversion to touch or his senses getting overwhelmed, etc. In the show I noticed Leo actually has a consistent aversion to anything with a gross texture too: like in the first episode when they’re all sliding down Draxum’s vines and he’s tripping over himself, the only one bothered by them “I hate this!”

He also starts flailing in a panic after a worm jumps on his face (and do I even need to bring up how the texture of worms ain’t all that enjoyable let alone on your face), recoils when that evil Hidden City massage guy pours hair serum all over his head, and he’s the most visibly repulsed when Raph gets trash all over them in the beginning of Battle Nexus: New York. So on multiple occasions he comes off as pretty texture or germ averse as well

Both also have insecurity issues about their role to the team: “If mystics can do everything I can but better then why would you guys even need me?” “I’m nothing without them!”

Ironically, in Many Unhappy Returns, Splinter thinks Leo doesn’t know what he’s doing and isn’t taking the mission seriously, saying he should’ve brought Purple. But in the same episode during fights with Shredder Donnie’s seen texting on his phone half of the time. Which is also very parallel to Leo making quips in the beginning instead of helping fight like Donnie and the others

In that same fashion, Donnie’s also goofiest when everyone’s acting serious in Insane in the Mama Train, while Leo’s the unserious one in the following episodes. Another role reversal from their norm

The show also portrays these two as feeling the most affected by Splinter’s history of emotionally distant parenting. Donnie constantly talks about his unmet need for parent-aged-adult approval/validation, and Leo shows his struggle in a more Leo-like way, constantly finding father figure connections in other people like Jupiter Jim and The Dunk. He also rejects/roasts Splinter a lot too, which seems more like a form of overcompensation; acting like he doesn’t totally need or crave Splinter’s attention. The exact opposite of Donnie’s methods. “No! I’m not going back to what’s-his-rat.”

“He’s my all-time favorite actor/role model/father figure!”

“That eccentric billionaire, who was kind of a surrogate father figure to me, has shown me a version of myself I don’t like.”

Leo acts like he doesn’t pine for his affection. I’m sure he sees the way Donnie openly, desperately goes after it when it’s offered and then gets crushed even harder with disappointment (ahem Turtle-dega Nights). No way Leo’s opening himself up to that. I mean come on how sad is the moment when Splinter says they should do something together and Mikey is so eager to jump on the opportunity before it gets taken away, only for Donnie to have to pull him aside and remind him it’s usually some kind of trick or he’s likely possessed? Just for Mikey to immediately respond, “You’re right, I always fall for this!” Ouch. Honestly considering Mikey’s empathy and emotional maturity in mind, the reason both he and Raph seem to handle Splinter’s lack of attention so well is probably also because in addition Raph became a second parent himself, and taking on that role like Splinter, he knows from his own experience that even though their dad doesn’t show it in the ways they wish he would, of course he loves them and what he does do to take care of them as a parent proves that

I think the parallels and direct contrasts between how Leo and Donnie show their dissatisfaction in their relationship with Splinter is probably the most developed and interesting one to me 💔

I mean Leo’s the only one who would actually say something like this to Splinter and you can’t tell me there’s not some deep-seated resentment in the way he looks and the way he says it…

So yeah. There’s the sad edition of Disaster Twins parallels. Let’s all cry together 😃

#disaster twins #rottmnt disaster twins #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #leo and donnie #rottmnt character analysis #these poor boys

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alastorthirsty · 4 months ago

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“Baaah Alastor is ace!” Guess what bitch ME TOO 😈 (He can still NUT your honour!) just block me if you don’t like my writing about getting railed by Alastor, it won’t hurt my feelings and you have one less person to be miffed at. Win-win! Also Alastor is not confirmed aromantic jsyk.

I thought I might put a little about me underneath this tweet, ever-reminding us that we can ship whoever the fuck we like, Alastor included 💖💋

My name is Angharad and I’m Swedish 🇸🇪. I’m 34, autistic, blissfully married for nine and a half years, mother to two lovely Betta fish, obnoxiously Jewish, and a sex-positive, sex-favourable, romance-positive, romance-favourable aroace. I have an MFA in creative writing and have been a ghostwriter for several years. You will not see anything about current events or politics on this blog, period. What you will see here is a whole bunch of Alastor, but that shouldn’t come as a surprise ;). That sumbitch got me in a chokehold.

Requests are open!

Request guidelines:

• Don’t ask me for anything illegal or almost universally considered gross and/or taboo. You know what I mean.

• I currently will write for Alastor and Lucifer. This repertoire may expand, but almost certainly will not include Vox.

• The only ships I’m willing to write for are Charlastor and Lucilith. As above this may expand, but it will never include Radioapple or Radiostatic (sorry!)

• However, I much prefer x reader. My goal is to make the reader character as generic in appearance and whatnot as possible whilst also being a well-rounded character. That way everyone feels included and comfortable in their reading experience. If you notice something that makes you feel less included, please send me an ask and tell me. I would appreciate your input on how to make the story as inclusive as possible.

•Remember the golden rule of fanfiction: You're responsible for your own reading experience! Curate it carefully, because fucked up actions and dialogue will take place in fanfiction about source material that has fucked up actions and dialogue!

Masterlist~

DNI: minors obviously (sorry but you don’t belong in this fandom), white supremacists, antisemites (gentile friends, don’t presume to know exactly what constitutes antisemitism), racists, exclusionists, people who have illegal sexual affiliations, anti-feminists, and the list goes on and on. Don’t be a dick or a child or I’ll block you. Simple as.

#straight from the source!

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bugsbenefit · 2 years ago

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attraction in ST

or. oh god stop stripping the show of it's themes no please no it needs those, stopppp

actually making this post now bc i'm sick of people claiming anything remotely sexual or even kissing happening to the party (an opinion that often pops up in the context of byler) in s5 would be horrible, sexualising, or out of character for the show

ST has always had a realistic approach to kids growing into their sexualities. the show's never shied away from directly addressing sex and sexual feelings so i'm honestly amazed by the extremely puritan interpretation of the show. i'm assuming, in good faith, that a big part of it is coming from people not having seen the actual show in ages and are just forgetting how explicitly the show handles sexuality. instead of just assuming it's from culturally raised christian people, who feel uncomfortable seeing any portrayal of sexuality, no matter how tasteful or realistic

i'm also saying all this as an ace person myself, i get not being into sex and not wanting to see it. however, refusing to acknowledge entire themes of a fictional show just because i don't experience them is bizarre to me. sexuality is vitally important to a lot of the characters and isn't just there to be fun(gross). essentially, ST is the opposite of porn without plot

so just as a little reminder what's actually IN Stranger Things. canonically.

sorry i had this sc for ages and wanted to include it Somewhere, so here you go. at a little starter... dorry

also this is an old draft seeing the light of day now, if anything's worded weird it's bc i didn't read all of it over again so oops, grammar hard?

TLDR: the show has never shied away from explicitly addressing sexuality. buying into the puritan fanon version of the show is going to make your s5 viewing experience worse because that show doesn't exist

season 1

we're starting the show off with Stancy, which is very sexually charged in general. (even in s4 Nancy still experiences physical attraction to Steve despite them having unchanged compatibility) the plot surrounding them in s1 explicitly focuses on Nancy having sex with Steve and later regretting that choice. the scene that everyone remembers, is of course, the "explicit" (not really, because ST is really tasteful with how it shows these teens explore themselves) sex scene

they're in sophomore and junior year of highschool here. around 15 and 16 years old - yet the show doesn't shy away from letting them figure things out. and it's not like this sexual theme is contained in only that scene. it keeps coming back the whole season as Nancy tries to sort her feelings out and deals with the aftermath of that night

also sidenote here while still at Steve and his party: even Steve's friends are very casual with their sexualities. and yes, they can even explicitly mention sex and specific sexual acts, no holding back here

Nancy's character conflict in s1 very much hinges on her sexuality and sexual themes. and it's not like there is a magic you need to be at least this old rule to know what sex is on the show like so many people seem to believe, because even 12 year old Mike seems to very much know what his sister and Steve are up to. he even goes out of his way to use it against her

iconic line! but i've seen insane takes trying to spin this into something not alluding to something sexual. i'm sorry to say if he doesn't think they're full on having sex he at least thinks they're getting very intimate with each other regardless

so not even the youngest characters on the show are "innocent and pure" the way fandom likes to claim when it comes to sexuality. and of course they aren't. real 12 year olds know what sex is, they're young not oblivious

and the following seasons make that even more obvious

season 2

as of s2 the kids are getting more involved with the sexual jokes, not just making them about other people but even being directly involved with those themes themselves. which is also realistic. with 13 sexuality starts to get thrown your way by every possible form of media. lots of them start developing crushes, have no idea how relationships work, etc. it's messy, typical teens thrown into the dating game. (i say all of this from a developmental media psychology perspective thanks uni and not personal experience sorry lmao, i'm a bit too ace to have my own input here)

s2 features comedic and awkward mentions of sex(ual activity) towards Lucas and Max,

older peers giving their 13 year old friends well meant advice on how relationships work,

and has even younger characters play around with attraction/kissing/love as well, which is incredibly normal for kids to do at that age

they're all young and the show treats growing up realistically. while the theme of attraction or sexuality gets more relevant for them (in scenes that are often received with awkwardness by the characters themselves) the show offers them safe territory to stand on. none of them are directly confronted with sexuality and are instead offered people to seek advice from for example

meanwhile the sexuality theme for the older kids is still very much explicit. just as Nancy's arc is still heavily tied to her romance and sexuality (which ties into her non conformity themes - she's an ambition driven person trying to escape the culdesac life first and foremost)

not only do we get another sex scene (this time with a cut away), there's also explicit jokes about it after

sexuality on the show is continuously awkward and messy. Jonathan and Nancy are only 16-17 here - no one really knows what they're doing or what the right way to go ahead is and Jonathan rightfully almost does a spittake here. out of pocket Murray

sexuality. is. awkward. (we get is s2 thanks)

season 3

s3 gets even more explicit with it's awkward puberty sexuality themes

from Dustin talking about how much he likes kissing Suzie (and her liking him not having teeth for it?) which weirds Steve out to the repeating, awkwardly received, "happy screams joke" (which gets a callback in later scene)

sexuality is still awkward for them. it's a realistic approach to what 14 year olds act like and know. they're actively dating by now, they're kissing people And have messy relationship situations. all while still acknowledging knowing what sex and attraction is, duh, of course they know that. but i'm explicitly pointing it out because i see obscene amounts of people claiming the characters are completely sheltered and even implying that they know what sex is would be gross. to that i say, do you not remember being 14???

and while i'm at s3, also let it be mentioned that even the adults are suffering at the hands of the sexuality theme here. Hopper's hookups with random women are focused on in s1, but now that he's getting closer with Joyce they get very explicitly told to just have sex. literally

not putting the whole dialogue in here, i already have too many images because there's so many sex mentions in this show and he really just tells them their mating ritual is painful and they should tear their clothes off and fuck right now

thanks Murray, always insightful

season 4

and s4 has stopped just confronting the kids with the existence of sexuality, but is tentatively starting to explore mature themes more directly - which allows them to tentatively start exploring their own sexualities instead of just having to acknowledge the general concept of sexuality

Max gets to ogle shirtless Steve

Lucas has something under his bed that's never confirmed as anything except "100/10 gross" but had 90% of the audience i saw immediately assume something sexual (magazines or the like)

and has a bunch more direct nudges, from the kids "experimenting sexually" as Murray says

to Argyle explicitly telling Jonathan he needs to have sex with Nancy again

to Hopper and Joyce's escalating make out in a church while shirtless

to visual innuendos (i'm looking at you hose scene. this one wouldn't be such a big deal if there wasn't a genuine moral panic about it last year. which was crazy. people literally had to pretend the scene didn't exist to escape the witchhunting mobs, except instead of being killed for magic it'd be for looking at a canon scene and acknowledging it. crazy times - aside from that there's also more visuals you can take as innuendos in s4e1 which there's already posts about out there so i'm not getting into them here, i'm more focused on the overt textual references)

to Yuir extensively talking about pleasing women and making them cum (I'm sparing you from that, the sc in at the top was already enough)

to explicit graffities all over the place, like here as an example "give me head until i'm dead" which is in frame for the whole phone call and Steve talking about his bitchlesness. and is also some of the only easily legible text (i hope this is readable, most of my screenshots kind of died a bit so maybe you need to look at an actual clip to see the text)

that is aside from the "DRUGS" poster which touches on another point s4 makes. the show doesn't just explore sexuality, it also puts the kids into more mature situations in general (not talking about the deaths, this is a horror show), specifically drugs

Jonathan uses weed as a coping mechanism the whole season and Eddie even sells the stuff in full bags (insane weed selling practices btw, even i know that). Chrissy (17-18) wants to do weed and ketamine. and we also see Lucas (14) hungover after drinking at a party for the first time

the show does not shy away from portraying realistic teen experiences

Murray called s4 very well, the kids pound some bears, smoke some ganja, play nintendo, and experiment sexually

literally. you have drinking, weed, and confusing queer sexualities. they took this list step by step

and all of those pretty normal things teens tend to explore. and i say that as someone who was decidedly not into those things. the ace experience is a bit different, but i can still acknowledge how that period was like for my allo friends and people in general

there is an extreme push in this fandom to reject any form of sexual jokes or references in the show, made mostly by people being uncomfortable with portrayals of sexuality. however, the themes not only still exist, they're also very prominent throughout all 4 seasons and are important to a lot of the characters directly

and it's also noteworthy here to see how ST approaches it's sexuality theme. it grows with the characters. starting out as jokes and being received with awkwardness to slowly letting them figure things out on their own time and turns. an extremely realistic progression and very common for coming of age narratives such as ST. it's a far cry from shows exploring sexuality or sexual themes for the sake of the viewers enjoyment like Euph0ria (don't want it to show up in tags)

based on what we currently know s5 could very well be taking place in 1988 or later which would place the party at around 16-17 years old. going into the season with the fanon version of the show that is completely clean and non sexual will 100% set you up for disaster

ST is very realistic and non exploitative with it's exploration of teen sexuality so there is obviously nothing to worry about in the sexualization department, that's just puritan fear mongering. however, it's very likely that we're going to get more than holding hands or pecks on the lips from the characters that are now older than characters we've explicitly seen hook up before. there could be more intimate scenes or making out, yes. but there's also at least one basically guaranteed vulgar joke in there, all seasons have them

there's no real theorizing or speculation about s5 here, anything could happen and i'm not placing bets, i want the characters narratives to be wrapped up well first and foremost and trust the writers to do it well. however, going into s5 with some of the mindsets i've seen circulating on here and expecting the show to be "clean" and cater to a version of it that's never existed outside of purified fandom could genuinely make you feel blindsided by the shows canon themes

not targeted at anyone or anything specifically, just using this as a bit of a reality check of what the show is actually like after recently rewatching all of it in one go

#stranger things #you see people here get attacked for harmless kissing fics bc it's 'too sexual' meanwhile the canon show has teens explicitly having sex #the contrast is just crazy #lets not pretend half the show doesn't exist just bc it makes you uncomfortable #byler #because it's Relevant in that tag lmao #finally posting this older one (i'm even tagging it bc i'm so brave) since we're finally starting to be able to talk about the show like #you'd talk about any other show normally #and we're ignoring the puritans #sure why not talk more about the canon show

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st4rd0lly · 6 months ago

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this is your fault, you made me greedy :(.

whats better then perv pathetic ex!dazai? perv pathetic ex!dazai who goes back to his pm ways when you start dating someone else :(. miss sera you cannot go to sleep tonight without elaborating on that last para fr.

i’ve been itching all day to answer this ask of course let me elaborate dear <3

perv!pathetic ex dazai whose blood runs cold the second he hears that you have a new partner. sure he promised oda that he would be the kind of person to help people, but that’s why he’s going to help you stay away from people who try to flirt with you !!! he might not be in the pm anymore but you sure as hell bet that he’s searching everything and anything he can on your little “partner”

he absolutely doesn’t buy it by the way, he’s so sure that it’s just an act to make him jealous. you wanna see him beg on his knees all pathetic? make him feel even more horrible for being so distant? fine by him, he wouldn’t mind any second of it if it meant that you would just stop fucking around with another person !!! when you reveal you have a new partner to everyone in the ADA, he’s surprisingly quiet and all of a sudden, his mopey attitude is gone

he seems to be back to his regular self. at least, that’s what most of you thought. his nightly break-ins don’t just stop at humping anything that reminds him of you, no not now. he’s too busy playing with his new toy <3 your poor little partner who’s getting all the backlash from this, he pins his little perverted escapades onto them and even more gross stuff !

he pushes them into a little corner where they can’t escape, with any and all gross evidence being pinned onto them and revealed to you !! he leaves the panties he’s stolen from you in their space, even leaving the aftermaths of his late sessions where he jerks off and cums all over them, even throwing your bra in there too, getting photos of you showering and changing. it hurts to give them away to someone who doesn’t deserve to see you naked but he tells himself it’ll all be worth it in the end

you’re absolutely disgusted of course when you see these, you haven’t even been dating your partner for that long and they’re sick in the head clearly, and the fact they’re denying it makes you more creeped out!!

you have no choice but to go back to dazai, to ask him for help, i mean you’re terrified out of your mind because this partner (now ex) just seems so damn creepy, practically a stalker who denies everything !! you’re too scared to go to the police and you’re sure dazai is the only person you can trust with this. so playing the role of a savior, he swoops in courageously to save you <3 he kisses your forehead so softly and brushes your tears away, telling you that of course he’ll take care of it. you forgot why you would even break up with him, you’re sure that you two can work things out now

and obviously you ex partner just so happens to show up on the news brutally murdered, but you can’t even feel a single trace of remorse, not after how creepy they were :( you’re back into dazai’s arms so easily <3

#. . . mission received —✫・゜・。.#. . . bandages at the house —✫・゜・。.#he’s so gross and full of shit and filthy #i need him in me

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bordysbae · 2 years ago

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Can you do one with barzal inspired by sparks fly by t. swift?

“sparks fly”

mathew barzal x reader

wc: 1.2k

—

‘my mind forgets to remind me you’re a bad idea’

“you hooked up with him again? y/n this always happens! you get attached to him and think you’re getting back together, but then he goes and ghosts you. you need to stop seeing him love,” your best friend says, as she strokes your hair comforting you gently.

“i know, i just can’t stop. i miss him too much. it’s like his touch does something to me, it’s like he has me in a chokehold,” you sniffle.

“oh darling, he does have you in a chokehold. you need to realize he’s a bad idea. please don’t go back to him, it hurts me seeing you like this”

‘you touch me once and it’s really something, you find i’m even better than you imagined me to be’

after another night out in the grand city of new york, you find yourself back in the bed of your ex. disappointing both yourself and everyone who knows you. as mat’s fingers gently stroke the baby hairs around the edge your face, you find yourself subconsciously snuggling closer into his warm chest.

“goodnight mat,” you mumble into his warm body.

“night darling,” he drowsily croaks out.

‘i’m on my guard for the rest of the world, but with you, i know it’s no good’

it’s been nearly two weeks since the last time you saw mat, and no contact as always. you decide it’s finally time to listen to those around you, and finally move on. as you’re in the club, you shun away nearly every guy who comes you way. you know they just want you in bed or to make out with you, and that’s not even remotely close to what you want. truthfully you know the only thing you want is mat, everyone knows that.

“y/n you can’t just keep shunning these guys away. you’re missing these opportunities to move on! at least just talk to one, it’ll help you get your mind off of him,” your friend says, gesturing to the guys around you in the club.

“they just want me in bed! i don’t want that,” you shrug, taking a sip of your drink.

“and you think that’s not just what mat wants? stop putting a guard up, these guys aren’t mat. i promise the guys you go home with from the club don’t toy with your emotions the way mat does. you know he’s bad for you, and he knows it too. he takes advantage of the feelings you have for him, so please y/n just talk to someone else here”

her words feel like someone twisted the knife in your heart. you never even realized how bad mat was until now, yet it somehow makes you want him more knowing you can’t have him.

‘and i could wait patiently, but i really wish you would…’

after hearing her words, you subside the pain by drinking. you end up getting so drunk that you end up on your bathroom floor, with mat’s contact fitting the screen of your phone. you drunkenly call him, but he doesn’t answer. so you do the next best thing, leave a drunk voicemail of you crying and drinking even more.

“hi matty. im sorry im sending this, but i need you to know how much i hate you. but god i love you even more. i’m such a mess,” you chuckle, continuing on with your rant, “i can’t keep just seeing you once every blue moon, cause i keep expecting you to text me. i love you too much to be casual, it’s all or nothing. i’m leaving you this message to do whatever you want with. it’s either you call me back and i’m yours, or you keep seeing other girls and lose me. g’night mat,” you say, ending the voicmail.

‘drop everything now meet me in the pouring rain’

you wake up the next morning heavily hungover, and see a missed call from mat. you immediately panic, unaware of the message you left him. the rush of emotions immediately triggers your gag reflex, and you scurry to the bathroom to get rid of the left over alcohol in your system.

once you’re done vomiting, you notice the bottle sitting on the floor, and instantly remember the message you left mat. you groan at your stupidity, and take a shower to clean off the grossness from the club. you then decide to call mat back, since you have nothing better to do. it’s pouring rain outside, meaning you’re stuck indoors until it clears.

pouring rain means the streets of upper manhattan have very few people meandering it, and that’s exactly what you see as you wait for mat to pick up the phone.

“y/n, hi. are you home?” he asks, catching you off guard.

“yes, why? it’s pouring rain where else would i be,” you chuckle nervously.

“i’m coming over, okay?” he says. you can hear him gathering his things, cursing under his breath as he clearly can’t find something he needs.

“what?”

“ah fuck it, forget my keys i’ll just run” he mumbles under his breathe, but you’re unable to understand his words.

“mat what’s going on?”

“i’ll be there in fifteen,” he says before ending the call, leaving you utterly confused. as you pace your apartment, confused on what he could possibly want from you, he knocks on the door of your apartment. you immediately rush to the front door, and notice his soaking wet clothing and hair.

“what the hell?! did you run here?” you ask, immediately turning around to grab a towel. he grabs your arm, pulling you outside in the rain with him.

‘kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain’

“mat what are you-“ you begin to say, but he cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours. you freeze for a second, but immediately kiss back as soon as you realize. after a few moments he pulls back, and you look up at him confused.

“i couldn’t wait any longer and i couldn’t find my keys, so i ran. your voicemail, y/n your voicemail killed me inside. i’m so sorry for hurting you, both when i broke up with you, and for going ghost after every hookup. i just couldn’t manage to get attached again. i need you to realize im bad for you,” he pauses, “but here i am, kissing you in the rain after you drunkenly confessed your love for me,” he chuckles, pausing his rant once again.

“i still love you, and that never went away. i was so stupid when i broke up with you, but i was even more stupid to not say no every time you came crawling back. i only went ghost because i was mad at myself for ruining you, not because i was seeing other girls. how else would i know exactly what you like and where you like it? i’ve only been seeing you,” he admits. you remain silent, taking in all of his words.

mat starts speaking again, “did you really mean it? when you said you’re all mine if i just say the word, did you mean it?” he asks. you nod in reply waiting for what words could come out of his mouth.

“so, will you be mine again?” he asks, his hands now in his front pockets.

“of course mathew, is that even a question?” you softly laugh. your response lights up mats eyes, and he wraps his arm around your waist pulling you in closer. your hands find their way around the back of his neck as your lips connect with his.

‘cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile.’

#mathew barzal #mathew barzal fluff #mathew barzal imagine #mathew barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal #mat barzal fluff #mat barzal x reader #hockey blurb #hockey imagine

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soothinglee · 1 year ago

Text

intoxicated romance in paris

summary: after taras party, everyone left leaving you drunk and very sleepy, luckily someone came in to check on you on a beautiful night in paris.

warnings: mentions of being sick, drunk-heavy-ish fic.

authors note: sorry i've been gone for a little bit, school started and ive been busy- plus i've had little motivation. but i am back! i have another tao request coming up so hopefully i'll have that done by the weekend. requests are open!ಇ

inspiration: impossible - wasia project | time machine - willow

pairing: tao xu x reader (no pronouns specified. though reader is mentioned to go to higgs.)

masterlist | request

you could honestly kill darcy right now. it’s not like she did anything intentionally illegal but stealing a bottle of vodka and pouring it down each party goers throat; it catered to the massive headache stirring in your head.

everyone had departed to mr. ajays room to take care of her after she felt sick. you lay limp and alone in the hotel room. party streamers and confetti lie around your body like an outline, balloon slowly fall to the ground after hours of stillness and lack of oxygen. there was a soft purple glow of the beautiful paris street lights from below, and you can faintly hear the honking of cars on the road- all going to unique locations.

as much as you tried to roll over to check the time on your phone you find yourself still. fatigue from exhaustion creek in your bones, making the nauseous feeling creeping up push forward. at the sudden sickness you throw yourself forward and try to stabilize yourself on the knitted sheets.

behind the thoughts of trying to keep the sick in you didn't even realize that someone had knocked on the door until that person had turned the handle with a click, the noise echoing throughout the empty room.

"hello hello?" the voice called out, growing nearer. when there was no response they speak again, "hello?"

the only response you could give back was a disgruntled grunt.

"[y/n]?" the boys voice questions, rounding the corner of the entrance way to see you hunched over ontop of the bed. you hadn't known but your hair was sticking up in several places and the crocheted sweater that you wore was hanging off your shoulder on one side. he huffs out a laugh and nears you. "you alright?"

again a grunt.

he lays his phone on the nightstand next to the bed and kneels down next to you, "you look sick, did you drink too much?"

"i'm going to hurt darcy, respectfully." the words come out in broken pieces, but behind the words was a little lighthearted humor. deep down you knew she meant well but oh my god this feeling is gross.

"well don't hurt her too much, she already got sick in mr. farouks' bed. the look on his face could've killed her alone." tao shakes his head at the thought and reaches up to smooth down the back of your head. the feeling of his hand on your hair ignited something warm in you.

you decided it was just because you were drunk.

"did she actually?"

"oh yeah," he laughs lightly and goes to fix your clothes, "she looked like she was going to pee herself, he kicked all of them out."

confusion passes over you, "then where are they?" you were still in their rooms and it's been a good 30 minutes since they last were here.

tao hums and picks at his nails, "they decided to have a sleep over in imogens room, she's only with one other person but her roommate wanted to hangout in her friends room for the night."

you nod and look off but then direct your attention back to him, "wait," you watch as he glances at you then diverts his attention back to his hands, "then why are you here?"

as a reminder, tao jerks up and starts throwing around blankets and items on the other nightstand in a haphazard manner, "oh- yeah, well um- tara had asked me to come back and look for her phone because she needed to text her mom goodnight," he then adds a "yeah." at the end as if he's trying to convince himself of his own words.

while you watch him practically destroy the room your face goes blank with realization, "tao." he hums in acknowledgment but his movements don't cease, "taras' phone isn't in here, she took it with her when she left the party with everyone. and even if you called it it would've rang on this bed," you make your point by slamming a finger into the sheets, "because this is where she was sitting all night."

as if being caught red-handed, tao slowly stands up, the pillow falling from his hands slowly, "oh." was the only thing that came out.

pushing past the fatigue you swing your legs over the edge of the bed so your feet was mere inches from his legs, "so tell me the truth," you huffs out a short breath, "why are you really here? was it to check up on me?" you remark sarcastically. you know it's probably not the truth but hope dances on your tongue tastefully.

quite surprisingly, he nods his head. "i knew you were alone so i figured i'd check in, make sure you didn't spit up on yourself or something." in other words, i cared enough to go out of my way away from the others to make sure you weren't dead.

again, another wave of confusion, "but why?"

tao groans playfully and body flops on the bed, his hair splayed out around his head like a halo, "why are you so coherent, you're supposed to be drunk!"

a slurred giggle escapes you, "oh trust me, i feel just as bad as i look. i just didn't have as much as the other." you pause and hiccup, "can i ask another question?"

"[y/n]-? and i mean this lightheartedly, all you do is ask questions." but he makes a gesture with his hands as if to give the go ahead.

you lean in and whisper, "why are you still here?" a playful smile twitches at your lips. he lifts his head up to look at you, his hair falling in his eyes.

tao rolls his eyes and copy's your position, the beds were close to eachother so the two of you were inches from touching knees. he takes a look at you and you cower a little under his gaze, but not too much. tao goes to speak but stops himself, you lightly kick his leg in encouragement, "because i want to be near you."

that nearly winds you- feeling a little appreciation for being intoxicated because without it as a cover the red huge on your cheeks would be a give away.

you look away from him and towards the balcony, the door open to it let a soft breeze float through the room. you suddenly want to be out there. so without a response towards his comment you reach out your arms towards tao and silently point towards the doors.

he seems a little sad at the conversation change but obliges, "what? you want to go outside?"

you nod feeling a little sicker than before, "wanna see the Eiffel Tower." he nods and takes your hands in his, gently hoisting you up into his arms. his warm body heat makes you feel sleepy, and the over whelming feelings all at once doesn't even let you register that you were holding his hands, let alone in his arms.

slowly but surely he turns you around so your back is to his chest and he carries you on his toes to the balcony. it takes a while because every step he takes you loose your balance and have to regain it.

as you take a step outside a wave of fresh dew air hits you and at the feeling you close your eyes and lean back into tao. he chuckles at the action.

being outside at night, being in paris- an unfamiliar but welcoming presence, being with, no, against tao, especially alone for the first time in the 6 years you've been friends, this could be the best night ever.

the feeling is all too sentimental, whether it's the alcohol doing it's damage or being in the city of love you can't help but sigh and look up at tao with big bright eyes. it takes him a moment because like you too, he was watching the city come alive, and as you make eye contact he smiles with hesitancy, "what?"

it had been clear as day for the longest time but for some reason, right here right now, despite what everyone has been telling you, you had liked him too. it just took you now to figure it out. you lean against him once more and let out a deep sigh,

"i like being near you too."

thanks for readingಇ

#x reader #x you #fluff #tao xu x reader #tao xu #heartstopper x reader #heartstopper x you #tao xu x you #heartstopper s2 #venicie #darcy #tara jones #unedited #fanficition #x y/n

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aayakashii · 10 days ago

Note

Ok, part 1 of title ideas!!!

Kiss me in the dark tonight

- Fake-dating au where MC has been paraded all around by Leo or Jin to keep the crazy suitors away from him. They do the fake dating really really well, and MC is so kind and pretty and considerate of his boundaries both while acting and in private (always looking out for Leo’s signs of overstimulation from his hearing or Jin’s signs that his exhaustion aren’t getting too bad, interfering whenever they look uncomfy, etc) and she does little acts of PDA that aren’t gross enough to cross the line of what a non-partner would do but hold so much love that it leaves them breathless (holding or caressing their face with so much joy and softness that it feels like a punch in the gut). Eventually they are forced to kiss for prying eyes, but it becomes too much and later, he drags MC away and asks for her to be willing to “kiss me in the dark too please. Not just when eyes are on us, not just to appease everyone else. Please, I just want one time where I taste your love because it is for me and not for anyone else”

Oh take this veil from off my eyes

- Omg this makes me think of Luca lifting the veil in the prologue so we are rolling with it. A snapshots of all the times that Luca was entranced/fell a little bit in love with MC. Of course, that first time is when he sees her for the first time. Then maybe when she goes to protect the kids despite not having any chance of fighting off the anomaly and being scared herself (she’s so caring and brave). Maybe she offers insights to demons, usually with a caveat that she knows he probably already has the information but couldn’t help collecting it for him anyways (maybe sneak in the “everyone’s stigma phrase is an anagram for a demon from Solomon” thing). The last moment is a full-circle where he accidentally gets some sort of fabric hanging over his head, and she lifts it for him, laughing a bit, and he just goes “oh. oh.”

There will be darkness again

- For some reason this is really reminding me for the I Fight Dragons song “Always” where it goes “I can't promise you there won't be pain, I can't promise to remain the same, But when you're scared, I’ll be there, tonight and always”.

- Mayhaps Lyca being scared about the full moon affecting him again, and being scared of hurting MC again, or her leaving him. And her saying “I can’t promise that there will always be light, or that I’ll never get hurt or leave, especially not with my curse. But I can promise that I love you, even when time are dark”

- There’s also Ed but I’m iffy on his character so I don’t have a lot for him.

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear

- Sho, of course. Maybe Bonnie really likes the MC/reader and is constantly seeking her out. “I swear I was looking where I was going this time, so how did I almost get run over by you again?” “Must not have actually been looking” *Bonnie has favorites and went off course to see you but Sho refuses to say that because he knows that Bonnie only favors you because he favors you*

- Rui looking back at being able to touch people, thinking that time is so far behind him, only for his curse to be cured.

Cross my heart and hope to die

- Jiro (or Yuri, but I LOVE Jiro so I have to pick him) realizing that he doesn’t really want to continue whatever half-life that he is living if you are no longer there. He will find a cure for you, cross his heart and hope to die, because he refuses to live without the one person who still makes life worth living by his side. He already feels a sense of unnamable grief at times, he will not add to that, even when he can’t remember what he lost before.

- Zenji relationship where MC decides that she’d rather die and potentially join his side as a ghost than turn into an anomaly.

👻

FROTHING AT THE MOUTH AT ALL THESE IDEAS

1- I already had thought about a fake dating plot with Jin so THIS IS ACTUALLY PERFECT 👁👁 that little blurb you added here almost killed OH THE ANGST POTENTIAL BEFORE THE REAL KISS (I like making those boys suffer)

2- You know, one reason I always hesitated on writing about Luca is because in his case I feel like his story would be a slooooooowwww burrrrnnnnnn but this made me realize I can kinda make it like bullet points? Like enumerating each instance in which he felt something different for mc, instead of making one long scenario 🤔 I really need to play with other forms of storytelling and this would be great ngl

3- There will be darkness again comes from a Hozier song!!! I said it doesn't really have to match the song vibe, but reassuring Lyca actually matches it tbh :o the song is like about persistance in the face of problems and how he would support his beloved in a time of trouble (in my interpretation ofc). Like "even with all these awful things going on, the world will still keep going and you'll stay living, so let's do the best we can". Btw I am having a hard time thinking abt stuff for Ed too, because that last obscuary chapter made me so iffy abt him 💀 I need him to redeem himself sldhjsnzhdhs

4- OKAY I actually have an idea for this one bur now I'll add your Bonnie idea to it!!! My idea is a BIT nsfw but it's about Reader and Sho having some sort of friends with benefits agreement, but after a while reader wants actual commitment, but Sho doesn't; which causes them to avoid Sho for a while. During this time away from MC, he realizes he feels jealous whenever he sees them with someone else and it takes him some time to realize that maybe he does want them to be official after all. The relation to the title is that his feelings were bigger than he expected, much like the mirror situation 🫡 AND I'LL ADD BONNIE BEING A MATCHMAKER NOW

5- I love this because he actually kinda shows this feeling in his 25 intimacy home screen dialogue 😭 he says something like "I dont know why but I need to save you, I have to at any cost" ;-; jiro is one of the trickiest characters for me to write about without going to yandere territory, but it'd be an interesting challenge tbh

6- I HAD AN IDEA LIKE THIS A LONG TIME AGO!!!!! and never elaborated!!! Do you think this one would be on zenji's pov or mc's pov? I am leaning on zenji's pov because I think making mc die willingly and write her thoughts abt it would be a bit too heavy of a topic for me to tackle 😭

#ask #👻 anon

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thesupreme316 · 2 years ago

Note

Could I request Eddie Kington and the reader as mixed matched a team?

Eddie Kingston as a tag team partner (Eddie Kingston x Fem!Reader):

Genre: Crack

Summary: How I would imagine Eddie as your tag team partner

Word Count: 700

Supreme Speaks: OKAY IK IM LATE BUT BETTER THAN NEVER. thank you to @hookerforhook for being so patient and lovely (please lemme write more for you). I hope you and everyone else enjoys. ALSO, i hope everyone is doing well and remember you are loved and appreciated.

Warnings: slightly proofread, an obscene amount of yall (sorry I'm just country and hood)

Taglist (if you wanna be a part of it, lemme know): @hookerforhook @triscillal @wwenhlimagines @sheinthatfandom @hooks-martin

You know that older brother who loves you but will bully you at every given chance?

Yep, that’s Eddie

He’ll protect you from your opponents, will drop a ref for you, will chew everyone and their mommas out

But is quick to spear you and give you a noogie

I feel like the way ya’lls team came to be wasn’t because he was soughing after a tag team partner (cause he’s Eddie Kingston and he’ll kick anyone's ass)

But it came to be when you helped even the odds with JAS and you actually didn’t mind fighting the dudes

At that moment, Eddie knew you were his partner

“Why Me?”

“Because you literally just kicked everyone’s ass…besides you’re the only other person in the back I like…besides Mox and Lulu of course.”

That’s right; out of all the enemies and allies he had in the back, he considered you an ally

HOWEVER, I still think he wouldn’t open up to you immediately but would gradually become more comfortable with you

At first, he would only talk to you for match purposes

And then he started hanging out with you a little bit before the show

And then he would text you “you good?” If he hasn’t heard from you (if you respond, he’ll say “great, btw fuck you”

Everything would change when he needed a place to crash cause all the hotel rooms were taken and you allowed him to crash with you

Although he left before you could wake up, he left you a note stating how he’s blessed that he has you as a friend

Now ya’ll at the point where ya’ll are inseparable

Where ever you go, he goes, and vice versa

Ya’ll in each other favorite contacts

Eddie would act like he genuinely doesn’t like you (in the eyes of others) but everyone knows he adores you

You two know each other like the back of your hands

Will tag you on Twitter posts that remind him of you, ya’lls friendship, or just things you need to see

Would say “EW” or “Gross” at you (if you're just walking by) or if you mess up in the ring he’ll laugh and say “you suck”

But heaven forbid someone else said that about you

Everyone can see how much you mean to him

Anyways you would do the same to and for him

You made it your goal to annoy the living shit out of him (and to make him scream and shake his fist at the sky)

But you were quick to shake someone if they irritate him

You played little pranks on him, stole his shirts (and threatened to burn them), made him cut promos on random items

“Now pretend he just lit your family on fire”

“Y/N, this is a toilet brush”

Now in the ring, your and Eddie’s styles complement each other

And you often came together to do tag team moves (especially the ones that Eddie learned from watching old Japanese tapes)

But if you were ready to get out the weapons, he was right behind you (either getting more weapons or just watching)

Essentially, you had crazy ideas and he just supported you in any way he could

Would not wear matching ring gear colors, but will match t-shirts with you (if you have tag team merchandise)

If not, ya’ll would wear each other’s designs

You two could pick up on the other’s next move without talking (you could expect/predict what he was gonna do and how you follow up or help)

Not gonna lie…Eddie would tag you in the match on the head/in the face

I can just see him lightly slap your head to signify a tag

If ya’ll won, then ya’ll were celebrating by doing chest bumps and getting food after the show

If ya’ll lost, Eddie would just berate everyone in sight (except for you)

Despite what he says, he would never talk down to you or degrade you (you’re his soft spot)

Would introduce you to Mox and form a trio if the situation called for it

Overall…Being Eddie Kingston’s tag team partner would be a rollercoaster, but one that would become your favorite rollercoaster

#aew #all elite wrestling #aew imagine #eddie kingston #eddie kingston x reader #eddie kingston imagine #eddie kingston meme

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cordycepsfem · 14 days ago

Text

Pageboy Readthrough, Part Sixteen

I'm in the holiday spirit today - or do I really just want to avoid cleaning my apartment? Either way, your benefit and my loss, since I've decided it's time for some more Pageboy. I am hoping that despite how the book seems to be never-ending, we someday will find its end.

Let us charge bravely into that dark night.

If you've missed other parts of the readthrough, you can find them here.

Previously

EP straight out asks people if they think she is trans

this seems to me like a very loaded question

especially if the person asking has an answer already in mind

I rolled my eyes very hard at this paragraph:

(you were, you will, and you literally told people at a speaking engagement in Boston that being trans is "the only thing you have going" besides your juggling skills, so... I call foul)

EP's description of using her ex-wife is gross

EP dates women, rhapsodizes about Kate Mara, and teaches us how to survive an earthquake (and no, I am not kidding about the last one)

I remind everyone to never ever let a partner choke them

Now

Chapter Twenty-Five

At age thirteen EP decides she only wants to live with her mom, not her father and her horrid stepmother

EP's dad takes them for a drive that - I'm sure you'll be crazy to know - winds them through several Canadian landmarks! including "The Dingle"

do I really wanna explain that? no, because it's funnier if I don't

(it is a granite tower)

EP mentions Moon Mist ice cream, which is a flavor that's only from Nova Scotia

I recommend it, at least once

Dad guilts EP into living with both him and mom

Dad is an asshole

my own, incredibly better father is still on offer, EP

when they talk in adulthood she tells him directly that Linda was the problem

Dad tries to tell her it wasn't Linda, that Linda loves her

Dad clearly has his badge in gaslighting

EP and Dad have not spoken in 5+ years

EP concludes with these dramatics:

Are people denying your very existence or do they not agree with the statements you make about gender, EP? I haven't seen anyone declare that you don't exist, or that trans people don't exist. We can all see them, they're all here.

Is it an onslaught of cruelty and violence or do you just not like the way people speak and respond to trans people? Here in the US we know that approximately 35+ish people with ties to gender are murdered each year, which the HRC laughably calls a "genocide," despite the vast majority of those crimes not being hate crimes or even related to the decedent's gender, and the rest of us know is like the best murder odds in the country.

And do you really think your father calls you "his son"? After reading this book, I don't. Your dad is a horrible person and I'm sorry for what he put you through. You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve a lot of what happened to you and I'm sorry the universe has not been kind.

EP poorly writes a transition (no pun intended) into how this time where she doesn't talk to her father reminds her of when she was 19.

it took me four readings through the paragraph to get that message though

she goes and lives with someone who's dating EP's friend's mom

as usual, the space is up to code:

if you could see me face-palm...

girl, what? is a "queer space" anywhere you are?

like, is my apartment a lesbian space because I, a lesbian, inhabit it?

does an IHOP become a lesbian space when I walk in ready for some pancakes?

how does space work?

anyway, she becomes very close with this woman, Julia, and eventually when she stops talking to her father, asks Julia to come and spend time with her

I know I usually do two chapters but I have successfully prodded the desire to clean my apartment into myself, and also I may feel myself dying of cringe, so... here's this.

#ellie's ep posting #terfblr #radblr #gender nonsense #pageboy review #pageboy readthrough

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oatmealdaydreams · 1 year ago

Text

Newest Asides: Reaction Post [Part II]

Part II of the reaction post.

Trigger/Content Warning: wine mention

Beware of spoilers of the new Asides video (Virgil Reacts to...)

[Part I here]

==Actual Content, Part II==

his book is Crosswords for 365 Days by Will Shortz (prob published by New York Times)

^it's smaller text says A year of easy-to-hard puzzles

his tie. omg, his tie.

that is either a red and blue tie OR a dark-orange and blue tie

^either one fits

ANGER - Logan as anger? oh f*ck, the foreboding set in

"and people start acting funny when it comes to rules" -> why does this stick with me. why.

"Lo-gan" -> very nice, Roman

"here he goes again" -> this happens often, doesn't it?

HEY YEAH. Uno wtf

loving Logan's portrayal as Anger (fits him a little too well)

"poo-poo everything I suggest" -> feels a little too canon there, buddy (angst angst angst)

REMUS, MY RAT BASTARD (affectionate)

"that gave me an idea" // "no-"

^f*ckin ded

FEAR - Remus as Fear? hmm, I see, I see…

Remus as Fear is just a YUS from me, omg <3

his white hair streak/fluff, his greenish mustache, his green sweater vest, YUS I LOVE HIM

the bowtie, lmao

"snake, spider, or rat-" oh hey, my three fav Sides -> Snake Boi, Anxious Spider F*ck, and Rat Man

needs to check for snake, spider, or rat? why would he need to check as if they were out to get him or something? hmm?

^thoughts formulating, theories materializing

we are literally talking about sh*t rn

Roman looks so done with Remus - average sibling behaviour

loving the Janus-Remus interactions

"it's very gross- and terrifying" -> yep, that's. that's Fear. Yep.

"are we going to do that?" // "NO, nO-"

^mm, sibling interaction gives me life

oh wait, Remus also has no orange

It appears that the only two without orange on them are Remus & Patton. hmm.

^TIME TO THEORIZE

"Fearmus" // "Joyman" -> both these names are amazing

"Kill-Joyman" lmao

"yeah, that's accurate" -> NOT PATTON AGREEING

aw, now Joyman refrains and holds himself back, nooo

^mm, wonderful angst material tho

Joyman dramatizing Virgil/Other-Anxiety's arrival

I had to stop the dang vid to stim cause skfskafslfjal- no I am not normal about this

the anticipation, oh god why

"Anxiety~" // no one shows up

^lmao, Joyman must've had a "bruh" moment there

"-I can't do this" -> in the deepest voice ever, Virgil wtf

Everyone's reactions, lmao

"Speak for yourself, sweetie" -> f*cking love Janus

OTHER ANXIETY - poor Virgil, he looks so off with the orange

love how angry Virgil is over people thinking Anxiety would look like it's portrayed in the movie

everyone's reactions ksdfaskdf

Remus laughing at him - the Dukexiety content we needed

"sorry, you look stupid" -> Remus omg LMAO (they're besties, your honour)

JANUS. YOU MF, I LAUGHED-

"isn't that not how he always looks?" -> mm, classic Janus & Virgil hostility, my fav <3

Virgil shutting it down gives me the idea that all of them [the Sides], not only the twins (Creativity), can end Daydream Mode or whatever this is

"oh, buddy" -> reminds of when Virgil said he didn't like being called 'kiddo' so Patton was like "okay" and now calls him 'buddy'

loving all of their interactions with each other, just the Sides being a mess of a family

JANUS & REMUS HAVE THEIR OWN SPOTS!!

^hey, does this signify that c!Thomas has accepted them as parts of himself? just saying.

^^he doesn't have to like them to accept them, btw

the map behind Remus? yus, love that for his spot cause he's Creativity and thus can create worlds (the map fits that aspect) [this was a bit of stretch - leave me be]

"I was told there would be wine" -> ah makes sense, Janus was bribed

"…told I could kill Bing-Bong" -> yep checks out, Remus was also bribed

Headcanon: Patton bribed those two Dork Sides

love how those two were frickin bribed into this, lmao

"has the vibe shifted" -> idk why but this killed me (laughing)

"oh good, you reminded me of that scene" -> sad Patton; he plays Sadness so well (even when not Sadness - oh no)

"I always played Fear" -> not only have they done this before, but roles were pre-established and got switched because of the sequel (and Virgil playing Fear makes Biggo Sense, cause fear and anxiety kinda intertwine themselves [in a way])

^it seems like maybe Jan & Re don't usually play games with them like this, and maybe this is their first times as a group of six? Like, this is Jan's & Re's first time just hanging out with the other four?? cause of dialogue and how things are worded

"similar energies" -> why is so Remus GenZ-coded? (I say as a GenZ) (it's funny to me)

"no, he's right" -> besties besties besties (Jan & Re)

Roman Misunderstands Janus counter, anyone?

yep, floral-designed hoodie. the motif never ends

"Hi Bud" -> Pat's face is like :D

"Oh god, yes" -> he sounds so relieved to see Thomas, aw

"aesthetic-based casting" -> explains why Patton was Sadness and Janus was Disgust; but why Remus as Fear? and Ro as Joy?? hmm, must form some thoughts…

^wait, what does that mean for Logan? FOREBODING

^^WAIT, REMUS AS FEAR MAKES SENSE NOW - OH NO

maybe Ro was Joy cause he desperately wants control of a situation because with everything happening in canon, he's lost control of things and f*cked up and- angst angst angst

Virgil and Other Anxiety are so different, jfc

"Doctor Who is stupid" // "FALSEHOOD"

^and that's why he was Anger, yep, I see now

why does Logan express actual emotion but only ever through anger (and sass)? TIME TO THEORIZE

maybe because Logan was usually dismissed/not taken seriously whenever he expressed emotion, so now all he has is sass & anger & a cold-exterior mask to hide behind? (evident from earlier videos)

aww, Ro being kind to Vi and platonic Prinxiety being friends slkffslkfdlsafjkd

"is that really how some people would think Anxiety would like?" -> the Others' reactions - oh no, the silence

"they all wanna say yes" -> Remus, this is why you're my fav character

love how Remus is kinda chill/domestic this episode <3

Remus be forcing others to confront things they're trying to avoid, and that's my fav thing about him

can you tell I'm a Remus stan yet

"nope" -> yeah, that's Remus [lmao]

Remus and Virgil are such besties in this, and I LOVE IT

==More IRL Thomas==

mm, promo

stickers, I wish I could have ye

yay, famous outro

==End Card==

Sadton Tries To Pun but gets Pun-Blocked by Anger-Logan

"interrupting cow" -> he's so sad, noooo

Joyman horribly singing to musicals is not something I expected, but I love it anyway

"it has been THREE. HOURS. I will murder you with a butterknife!" OtherAnxiety-Virgil is a whole mood

JANUS FINALLY GETTING HIS WINE

Him calling Remus "buddy" is everything to me

^Janus sounds like a frickin wine mom, omg

"idk, I just let him play" -> explains so much about Jan & Re, dear frickin god

why does the wine look like Kool Aid-

#tw wine mention #edit: just realized Virgil having that deep-ass voice before coming onto screen as Other Anxiety as as prob his Tempest Tongue cause he ->#he was hating/really anxious about being Other Anxiety n sh*t #thomas making a SaSi-related vid about the movie trailer has the same energy as me writing that fic about the MRIH pilot episode #spoilers #ts spoilers #tss spoilers #sanders asides spoilers #sanders asides #asides #tss #reaction post #long post #part II #thomas sanders #just saying

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popculturebuffet · 1 year ago

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Lion King II: Simba's Pride Review (Birthday Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and it's time once again for that annual tradition where I celebrate Kev, my client turned friend and client who comissions much of the reviews you see on this blog, exactly how he likes.. by talking about lions for a while. And after covering the rather abismal interquel 1/2 last year, we're finally onto the sequel this year, Simba's Pride.

Simba's Pride is my first time covering one of Disney's various DTV sequels. And while many a kid can recalled having to suffer through these things , I honestly don't have a ton of experince with them. I saw about 6 as a kid: the aladdin sequels, extremley goofy movie, this one, pocahantas and hunchback. I saw them advertised sure but I was more a toy story kid. I watched and was scarred by that one way more than most other disney films outside of say Aladdin, which I remember watching all the time .That and the aristocats. MOstly for that bitching opening

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So i'ts not a suprise the only ones I really remembered were the aladdin sequels.. and extremley goofy movie, which is likely responsible for me loving goofy so much. Yes over the orignal , I just headbanged to the aristocats what makes you think I just magically turned into this one day?

That said.. I was curious to revisit this one when the time came as Lion King II has one of the better reputations among the disney sequels, feeling both SLIGHLTY more necessary. It's well liked to the point that when lion king sequel series LIon Guard happened, Lion King 2 was kept fully canon, to the point season 3 goes out of it's way to explain why the new crop of chracters from lion guard are absent during this film.

So the question is does this film hold up... or is it simply good by comparison to Mulan II: Everyone Woke up On the Wrong Side of the Bed This Morning? Find out with me under the cut.

We're Doin a Sequel: I almost didn't have much of a production section this time, but thankfully wikipedia provides.. in this case an old LA Times article from when the movie was in pre-release. It's not DEEP into production but it least it gives me some insight into how the sausage was made on this one.

The first was this pretty damming line from Buena Vista Home Entertainment's president, which sums up the DTV boom in a nutshell

“We look at the feature animation business as a way to set up the original story,” said Michael Johnson, president of Buena Vista Home Entertainment Worldwide. “Their energies are absorbed completely in new productions. So we have set up a division through the television animation group to do the sequels. . . . That’s not to say this isn’t good enough to go theatrical.”

This.. may be one of the grossest things i've seen disney do. It's not homophobia gross, it's not "making a feature film next to a concentration camp" gross, but it's still horrible to make a division just to make cheap sequels you don't consider anything but money , not only discrediting the work done by the animators on these films, but also admitting your making a shoddy product just to get money from parents who trust your brand. Am I saying this is the first or last time any company, disney included, pulled this kind of shit? No. Not even close. Even GOOD movies have done greasy shit to their animators, see the shoddy conditions on across the spider-verse. But this is still a special kind of wrong and set up a whole industry of wrong in these cheap half assed sequels. If antyhing could remind me WHY we need the writers and actors strikes, this is a big flashing symbol as to why as execs haven't really changed how they treat animation, just the tactics for being shitty to it.

That being said as always it didn't stop the team from trying hard, as Sharon Morill, then vp of DisneyTVA which also ran these things, was determined to break the stigma. It sadly didn't happen, but I can't fault her for trying. And Lion King II did try. It had a four year development cycle, which for animation seems pretty normal, but for one of these films is twice the length. They also changed up some things along the way but we'll get more into that with the film itself. The film released to mostly good reviews, with no one liking it more than the first but still finding it a fine sequel. So what'd I think of it? Let's explore that shall we? A Good Idea at The Time The core of Lion King II isn't terrible. it has some cracks just from the foundation but it's a solid idea for a sequel: We focus now on Kiara, Simba's daughter, played by the star of one of my faviorite franchises and a huge get for the time, Scream star Neve Campbell, who was just coming off scream 2 when this film came out no less. She does a great job once we get to the present with what she has, suprising no one. This honestly wasn't a bad move: unlike most disney sequels the setup for one is there in the finale with Kiara's cornoation, which is where this film picks up before going into her life as a cub, then spending most of the film on her as a young adult. Not only that the film does have the clever idea to play off Simba's trauma: he's overprotective of his daughter and Nala can see it.. and it wears on her more and more with time, with her finding pride rock confining and being annoyed he constantly sends her gay grandpas to go spy on her. You can see both sides: To kiara the pridelands have become a cage her dad's keeping her in but you get that simba still has lingering trauma from both Mufasa's death and his own buffet of near death experinces. Simba is wrong to smother her like this, but you can at least see why he's like this.

This time though there's ANOTHER lead, Kovu, played by disney legend and goof Jason Marsden, which sets a trend: While Cambell is a big flashy name most of the cast are either returning form the first one or are vetran voice actors or tv stars. Nothing wrong with this as the cast with one glaring exception we'll get to all does a fantastic job. The only one not to return is Rowan Atkinson, whose replaced by Fraiser Vetran Edward Hibbert and who does.. fine. He's not as good as rowan, but he's not bad and Zazu isn't in the film enough for it to be a real issue.

Kovu is one of the outcasts, a group of lions who were banished from the pridelands for supporting scar wholeheartdly. I'm a bit torn on the outsiders as the concept: I like the idea Scar had actual supporters, that Simba, given how much scar had done to him, overreacted and banished them all instead of trying to work with them, giving them legit reasons beyond WE EVIL to hate Simba and want him dead. That said.. their also a MASSIVE retcon that makes zero sense in the context of the original film. What lionesses we saw hated Scar and resented him, the pridelands were dying so it's hard to see why anyone would support him, even a small pack , EXCEPT simply being evil, and NONE OF THEM did anything about scar being eaten by the hyenas nor against the rest of the lions, nor tried to start a war when Simba exiled them. The Hyenas are also conspciously absent as , despite Cheech Marin being tapped to return, they were apparently written out.

There's also a massive elephant in the room: See if you look at Kovu you notice he kinda LOOKS like Scar and his mom, the leader of the outcasts and one of the best parts of the film Zira, played by Suzanna Planchette to vllanous resentful perfection, acts more like a vengeful widow. Surely i'm just reading too much into this and Disney didn't SERIOUSLLY consider making a film about incest right?

Yes. I wish to Mufasa up above I was kidding. Granted this info is midly suspect as neither tv tropes nor wikipedia have a link for it.. but givne Kovu looks like scar, how Zira acts about her former leader and lover, and how it seems very weird Scar wouldn't just sire an heir outright and just pick some random baby, i'm feeling it's true and it's laughable they got as far as they did before someone said "Wait isn't this incest' Which yes, yes it is. It makes the romance between the two feel weird as even with the film trying to act like Kovu isn't scar's son just his heir... it still very much comes off like Kovu IS scar's son and no one brings it up becuase lions apparently give a much of a shit about incest as the writers of this flim did.

Zira and Kovu are fascinating though: Zir ais as clever as scar, has a swagger to her and seems just at all times like a snarling engine of vengance. Her husband is dead.. and so his murderer shall burn. She's not deeply complex, but she is incredibly fun to watch and sometimes tha'ts all you need. Kovu meanwhile has a LOT of fascinating layers: he shows up hostile to kira as a cub and it's clear with how the outsiders function that he's been raised as a weapon his whole life: only to fight an dsurvivie with what scraps they have out there. And his transition to adulthood is shattering: Kiara is just herself but older, simply less willing to take her dad's shit after a lifetime of it. Kovu by contrast goes from a fairly sweet innocent kid.. to a revenge engine modled by his mom to infiltrate the lions and kill simba. Marsden gives a truly awesome performance, with just what Kovu has become being clear.. but also that beneath that what he could get from Simba's side of things.. could be better.

The problem is that while the setup is really good, the first third of the film having the two as kids and setting up the situation, and it's enough that I just ignore the massive leaps needed for the outsiders to exist or the fact their basically the hyenas but as lions, the rest of the film... does almost nothing with it. Instead of diving into these two characters and especially Kovu's very complciated crisis of concious.. they just do things in the most most cliche and tired way possible: Kovu finds his new life almost instantly better and plans to tell Kiara asap but can't, his clan gets tired and attacks, Simba blames Kovu and tries to clamp down harder and kiara leaves, theyg o back to stop a war. it's basically west side story or romeo and juliet but speedran so all the actual conflict and emotoin is gone. Kovu dosen't even kill anyone, the death is on Simba for Kovu's brother.

Oh and since we have to talk about him at some point let's talk about Kovu's brother. His brother is Nuka, a shabby lion who thinks he should be heir but proves every second why he shoudln't and why his mom didn't choose him, basically being comedy relief. They then try to give him a tragic death scene which would work.. if it were not for one clear error. one horrible mistake that ruins the character. They cast Andy Dick to play him

Yeah even putting aside his harassment , general creepiness and the fact John Lovitz had FRESHLY punched him in the face for making a crack about Phil Hartman post death (AFTER also enabling Hartman's wife's drug addiction), WHY would , even for the price of a nickle, you cast ANDY DICK for a dramatic death. Even before we knew he was somehow even worse, Andy Dick's whole existance was to be a punching bag. you hire him to annoy your audience and your characters. You CAN have a comedy characters death mean something and be truly gutting, take 24's death in venture bros or even among disney hooty getting turned into a puppet during owl house. But you have to make us care about that character on some level beyond being a joke no one takes seriously first. With Nuka.. he's just a dick who envied his brother and stupidly challenged Simba to a fight. And even as much of a dick as Simba is in this film, more on that in a moment, Simba STILL tried to just bat Nuka away. Simba, despite being ambushed, despite his hatred of the outsiders, despite everything you'd expect.. WENT EASY ON HIM. He didn't want to kill anyone. He only started getting serious when Nuka, somehow, proved to be an actual opponent and didn't even kill him on purpose. The idea of Simba being forced to that is good, but it just dosen't work when the character is nothing and had no personality other than "Pralines and Dick". Fuck em. And most good ideas end up like Kovu or Pralines and Andy Dick. Kiara is mostly wasted, mostly just wanting to bone her cousin and having a fairly sterotpicla disney princess arc, Rafiki is just there to push the main couple together, and Simba .. simba gets done kinda wrong. While the idea of him turning to his worst impulses over trauma is good, the film has so much going on instead he just comes off as a massive prick whose prejduiced, judges Kovu because he , in the context of the film HAPPENS to look like his arch enemy and isn't related to him, and treats his daughter like shit. Brodrick tries but there isn't enough depth given to Simba or anyone for this flim to work. The film just feels half assed...

It dosen't help despite not really giving the story time to breathe.. it also spends a LARGGGGEEE MEATY CHUNK of the storytelling on musical numbers. There's about as many as the original.. but I can barely recall them, with all just feeling like half hearted rehashes of the originals And unlike the original films songs which were all vital to the plot in some way (Circle of Life set the tone and theme of the film, I Just Cant' Wait To Be King fully sets up Simba's character for the first act and has him ditching Zazu, Be Prepared fleshes out Scar and sets up his big plan to kill Mufasa while also revealing at it's start that Scar was working with the Hyenas and by it's end reveals the Hyenas as a real threat, Hakuna Matata handles the time skip and sets up Simba for the third act, and Can You Feel the Love Tonight? has Simba and Nala begin their romance, which is key in getting him to go home. ). In contrast while these numbers COULD commuincate key stuff, they all go on so long they just pad out a film that REALLY didn't need padding, it needed a liver and some kidneys to help it function better.

The one thing the film does really well.. is the animation. Seriously while you can tell this isnj't a theatrical budget.. you can also tell the animators stretched every dime they had to make this LOOK theatrical grade. While some shots i've seen, or some sequels i've seen outright look like they were made cheaply, Lion King II looks damn good and worthy of the original. Despite all the challenges it'd bring the characters still look expressive, colorful with just that hint of real animal movements that made the original's animation so damn good. It may not look as good as the original but for what they had to work with it looks as close as they could possibly get and that's DAMN impressive.

So yeah overall this film isn't great. I wanted to like it I did: It sounded good.. but the final product , even acknowlding the struggles they likely had, is so padded and full of wasted potetial it just makes me sad. It's still probably one of the better Disney Sequels as it both had a reson to exist, good ideas and the animation is again fucking beautiful. But it sadly isn't as much as it could've been. Hopefully when I get to Lion Guard at some point, we'll see what a lion king followup truly could've been. For now.. we can only watch this and see someone almost but not quite make it. Maybe if disney wasn't treating these like disposable money factories this could've actually worked.

#the lion king #the lion king ii: simba's pride #kiara #kovu #simba #zazu #timon and pumbaa #neve campbell #matthew broderick #jason marsden #andy dick

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