#& i can't really do any for my family since I'm closeted..

[unseendeity]

I miss doing sigils and pendulum readings (⁠｡⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠) so if you'd like one or both feel free to request!

[coff33andb00ks]

45 + lando caus i need some angst in my life rn

"Lies. Just lies."

driver + number = drabble <3

angst and lando go together like me and red flag men tbh

warnings: angst, mentions of mental health struggles, accusations of cheating, lando's not a good bf

He hasn't looked right lately. He hasn't looked right since...

Miami, really. Once the exuberance of his first win wore off he's been... Different.

At first you could ignore it. Lando prefers it that way - just ignore it until he's ready to talk about it. He'll always struggle with his mental health, you're aware of that, and over the course of your relationship you've grown accustomed to how he handles it. You may not always agree with how he does, but you can only stand by his side and offer support.

Rather, you would, if he'd let you.

"You don't have to come this weekend," he's saying as he packs up for the trip to Austria.

You blink,freezing in front of the closet. You know that most of the other girlfriends and wives don't go to that race - darling there's literally nothing to do? - but it's one of your favorite tracks. The scenery, the atmosphere... You love going there.

Lando knows this. And he doesn't want you to go.

"Heading straight home after the race, spend a couple days with the family," he continues, either not noticing or not caring that you're looking at him with annoyance and worry. Zipping up his suitcase, he pushes it to the floor and rolls his shoulders. "So I'll see you at mum's?"

Don't say it don't say it don't say it–

"Oh am I allowed to go there?" you ask, surprised at the bitter coldness in your tone. You can remember when snapping like that would have Lando overflowing with apologies and reassurances. Now, he barely flinches, and you feel dread chilling your heart.

"Go. Don't. It's whatever," he says, his jaw tense.

"Lando–"

"I get it, alright?" He grabs the hoodie lying on the bed and pulls it on. "You don't like my family anyway."

"What are you talking about? I love them," you insist.

He snorts, running his fingers through his hair. "Sure."

And you finally snap. Fuck waiting around for him to be ready to talk. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Lando isn't meeting your eyes. "Nothing," he says, gathering his wallet and phones. "Just tired."

"For almost two months?" you ask, trying to keep your voice calm. "You've been like this since Miami–"

"Like what?" he asks, and you notice he's growing more tense.

You gesture aimlessly. "This," you whisper. "What happened?"

He opens his mouth and you hear his slow inhale. But instead of speaking, he snaps his mouth closed and shakes his head. "Nothing. I'm just stressed, okay?"

The words slipped out before you could stop them. "Did you cheat on me?"

"Babe no, of course not. I'm just... Tired."

"Not too tired to go out every weekend."

"So I can't have any fun?" he asks, rolling his eyes.

"Lando, we–" You stop when you see him grabbing the handle of his suitcase. "Lan–"

"I gotta go. I'll see you in England. Or not."

"We promised we'd talk about problems, Lando," you say, following him from the bedroom. "You said–"

"Lies. Just lies." He slaps a cap onto his head. "Because neither of us wants the truth do we?"

And with that, he leaves, the slam of the door echoing in the apartment.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not telling my friend that her husband is gay and cheating on her for months after I found out?

Okay so I really don't know what the right move would have been in this situation and I feel really bad about it.

So I, 28(f) have two childhood friends who I'll call Rose (28f) and Matt (28m). Rose and Matt started dating in school, married quickly after that and have been together for years. It had been a really fairytale relationship and honestly I was really jealous of their relationship for a long time, before this situation started.

So I was hanging out with a friend who didnt know Matt and Rose, who we'll call Ben (30m). We were chilling together and he got a grindr notification. We like to share like who were talking to, what the plans are etc and he showed me this guy he'd matched with and it was Matt. I freaked out, Ben was like "hey maybe theyve got an open relationship and you don't know" I was skeptical but I had to admit that there was a small possibility that was the case. Ben sent me screenshots of Matt's profile and their texts and I arranged to hang out with Matt by himself the next week.

So when we hung out I confronted him about it with the screenshots and he broke down and told me the truth. He's gay, he's known he was gay since he was 13ish, and he's terrified of his, very conservative, family finding out. I asked him if Rose knew, and he confirmed that she didn't and he's been telling her that he's visiting family/other friends and instead meeting guys from Grindr to sleep with.

I was trying to balance my support for him, because I really felt for him and his inner turmoil being closeted for so long - I'm bi myself and it took me a long time to feel comfortable sharing my sexuality with people - and my anger for him cheating on Rose. I was also concerned because he was just meeting randos and sleeping with them with nobody knowing where he was, like bad shit could happen and nobody would know. We talked for over 5 hours going over all aspects of the situation, and by the end of it he said that he was going to come clean to Rose and tell her the truth and theyd figure out what to do from there.

Matt never told her. I waited for two months before I pressed the issue because, well that's a huge thing to talk about and I didn't want to pester him any more that it needed to be pressed. But after two months, he hadn't said anything and I was like "hey, she needs to know about this. You have no idea if youve given her any stis from the number of people you've slept with. She needs to know." He said he was going to tell her when he got home. He didn't.

In fact, Matt never told her willingly. Two weeks after I confronted him for the second time, a different friend came across him on Grindr in an unconnected situation, and he sent the screenshot straight to Rose without talking to Matt first. She immediately left him. She got an sti test and he had given her gonorrhoea.

They're getting a divorce. His family is incredibly homophobic, so Rose and Matt have agreed that they will gender swap who he cheated with when talking to his family (I.e., admitting he was using dating apps to cheat and the number of times he'd cheated but claiming that all of that was with woman rather than men). Since then they haven't spoken and Rose has been staying with her family.

I've told her all of my side of what happened and while she understands why I spoke to Matt first, she says she's upset that I didn't tell her at the same time, as gonorrhoea usually takes about two weeks to develop in the system and she (direct quote) "might have walked away with a shred of dignity if I wasn't peeing fire while i come to terms with being a useful idiot."

I feel dreadful. Obviously the blame really lies with Matt for giving her gonorrhoea in the first place but I can't help but feel responsible for not telling her when it was clear he wasn't going to do it by himself.

Aita?

[episodes-ff]

Perfect In Every Way

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

Diamonté

"Armando Aretas, Jr. so help me God, if I don't see you cleaning up this mess in the next couple minutes?!" "But mommy!" He whined throwing himself into a tantrum as I rubbed my temples and tried to suppress the gnawing, sickeningly familiar feeling to throw up my entire lunch, what little of it I had anyway. "Papi, you have to clean up! This is unacceptable, baby." I soothed out watching him frown and cry as I tried hard not to mirror his actions. "Please?" "Nooooooo, I don't want to! I wanna play, Mommy!" He pleaded flopping around as he continued to cry, whine, and beg. "You can’t pull out all your toys at the same time, you have to clean these up first." "No!" He shouted as my eyes nearly jumped out of my head. "Excuse you?! And just who are you raising your voice at?" I yelled as he looked on in fear before we heard the jingling of keys. "Daddyyyyyyyy!" He praised running downstairs to the door as I rolled my eyes.

I thought things would get easier once I told Armando about the baby, but they've been anything but. I've been sick nonstop, I can't hold down any food, the little bit that I eat anyway, my body is constantly aching, and I'm always tired and crying. I thought Papi would be helpful with this transition, but he's having a hard time adjusting to the fact that he's not my only baby anymore, so he's been acting out as a result leaving me to be the villian while Armando is the family Superman. Sighing as I heard his sweet and spoiled giggles, I weakly tried to clean up the toys before hearing Armando's heavy footsteps and his soothing voice.

"Baby, what are you doing? No heavy lifting remember?" "Tell that to your prince who refuses to clean." I spat rolling my eyes as I refused to meet his gaze. "That true, papito?" "But Daddy, I don't wanna put all my toys up. I'm not done playing with them yet." AJ pleaded sweetly as he put on his puppy dog eyes to appease his father. "But nothing, AJ, you have to listen to your mother, ok?" "But-" "No more buts, mister. Clean your toys, please? And listen to your mother. I won't tolerate any misbehavior towards her, you hear me?" "Yes, sir." He sniffled as he put him down. Coming over to grab the toys from my hands, I tried to rub his tiny shoulder but was met with anguish as he shifted from me with a groan of discontent. Not being able to control my sorrow, I frowned and ran off to the room as Armando called for me. "Baby, he didn't mean it!"

Running into the bedroom closet, I hunched over the vanity as the dam of tears I had been holding back finally burst. "Baby?" "I'm fine, Armando." "No you're not, Dee. C'mere, bebita." Following his orders, I finally met his eyes before breaking down as he pulled me close. "Let it out, baby, I'm right here." He soothed in my ear as he held me and rubbed my body. "He hates me, Mando." "He does not hate you. What makes you think of such a thing, mi viva?" "He's been acting so different toward me since we told him about the baby. He won't look at me, he's always acting up, he won't even listen to me anymore. You're the super dad and I'm just this evil monster to him. He really hates me, bae." I sobbed in a rush of thoughts against his chest as he shushed me. "I think his feelings are just sour right now about our new bundle. He just has to adjust, ok? That's all. I'll talk to him about his behavior too because I don't like what I'm seeing either. Everything will be ok, baby, I promise you I'm gonna make it right." Nodding, I sighed as he lifted up my chin to stare at me and wipe my face. "I'm sorry." "What are you apologizing for, baby? You're carrying the third love of my life. The only thing I want you to do is relax, ok? As a matter of fact, I have just the thing. Remind me to call Marcus later and thank him." He smiled as I looked on confused. "What do you have up your sleeves, Armando?" "Leave that up to me, woman."

**ONE WEEK LATER**

"Babyyyyy, stop that tickles!" I squealed as he licked and sucked on my neck. "I can't help it, you look so fucking beautiful, baby." He groaned rubbing his hard girth against my backside as I attempted to do my makeup. "Fuuuuuck, just let me put it in real quick, mamas." He hissed slipping past my cover up and rubbing my ass through the cloth of my bikini. "Baby, we're supposed to be going out and exploring! I wanna make the most of this vacation." I whimpered turning in his arms to wrap my hands around his neck. "We will, baby. We'll get to see as much of the Bahamas as we can, but for right now, take this off for me." He lusted pulling me closer and kissing me while gripping my ass in his rough hands.

****

Walking my pedicured and sandal covered feet along the cobblestones, I smiled as Armando led me through the island streets, a sexy mug of protective energy painting his handsome features. "You so mean, baby." I teased rubbing his arm gently as his shades helped finish the bad boy look he had going. "What did I do?" "You didn't have to cuss out the tour guide, papa." "He shouldn't have been looking at what's mine." He griped, making me blush as he checked our surroundings and we continued our afternoon walk. "He could never ever have me. Trust. Can I at least get a smile, Daddy?" Sighing, he looked over and gave me that gentle and sweet grin of his. "Ouuuu, you so handsome! Hold up, I gotta get a picture." "Really, baby?" "Yes! Hold up right here, lemme capture this, papa." Chuckling at my silliness, he tucked his hands in his pockets before giving me his best smile as I blushed.

@diamondgirl_dee: My husband, my life🩵💍 #thatsmerightthere #cantnobodylovethatmanlikeilovethatman #sofine #bitchifightsonottoomuch

Armando

Watching her smile in what feels like forever has been such a blessing for me. I'm forever grateful to Marcus for letting me get his tickets to the Bahamas so Dee could get some rest and pampering. Mamas has been going through it with this pregnancy and it's been crushing my soul to see her suffering. I also asked Rita if it would be okay for me to switch to desk duty for the remainder of her pregnancy so I could be home more and she graciously accepted, so I've been helping out a lot more around the house and with Papi. We've been correcting his behavior as well because I was livid when I heard the extent of his actions recently and I wasn't about to put up with the disrespect toward my lady. He's been progressing a lot more with me around to keep that lil ass in check and I know she appreciated me stepping up more in the home without having to express it.

Watching her dance around in my shades and jersey, I smirked capturing a video of her as she sexily sauntered around the yacht as we cruised the clear waters. "You like my moves, baby?" "I love it, mamita. Bring that sexy ass here." I smiled as she twerked her way over and wound her thick hips on my lap. Hugging her body to me, I nibbled on her ear caressing her soft bump as she moaned. "I'm so lucky to have you, princesa." "No, I'd say I'm the lucky one. Thank you so much for this." She simpered tearing up as I turned her around in my lap and massaged the pads of her ass.

****

Carrying her into the bedroom, I sat on the bed and smiled as she giggled sweetly. Kissing all over her smooth skin, I bit her lip as she moaned grinding her hips against me writhing with the friction we were creating. "You're so pretty carrying my seed, baby. Thank you so much for making me a papa, mi corazón." Trying to hide her tears, she nodded and kissed me. "Hey, look at me. Stop doubting yourself, Dee, you're doing an amazing job. I'm so proud of the woman you've become and the mother you are to our kids. You do wonders with AJ and I know this baby is going to be so lucky to have you." I cooed rubbing her stomach as she stared at me in awe crying while I professed my love and unending gratitude. "You're everything to me in this world and I'm gonna do a better job of showing you from now on." Nodding, she leaned in and kissed me passionately.

Watching her sleep peacefully after our love making session, I admired all her features old and new from the pregnancy as I smiled and thanked God. Reaching over, I softly rubbed her small bump trapped in fascination before feeling a little flutter of movement. "D-Did you just move for me, little angel?" I shockingly recalled as a tear formed and slowly fell down my cheek. Smiling at the tiny victory, I kissed her beautiful, slumbered lips before taking out my phone to document the moment. Searching through my pictures at all the new moments I captured on vacation, I decided to upload them to Instagram. I don't know why I even made one because I don't like broadcasting my life, but Dee convinced me to do it so why not have her as my first post.

@mando_: Perfect in every fucking way🍊🥥🩵 #mywife #dontfuckingplaywithher #AllMINE

Unbeknownst to my future bride, I've been working on a special gift for her that includes memories from this pregnancy. I'm not really good at expressing how I feel and shit, but with Dee it's like breathing air so I wanted to further show her how much she means to me with this gift. I just hope she loves it cause I owe the AMMO squad a lot for helping me with it.

Tags: @violetmuses @kaylaahisthebestest- @theereina @believeinthefireflies95 @brisunique @madxlov3 @casualsludgeshoetoad @mauvecherie-writes @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @kumkaniudaku @geneziesm @megamindsecretlair @simpledopeme @goldenjasssy @vivaalenaa @playgurlxoxo @ghettogirly @luuvprincess @perfectlyimperfectme @tbmotw @comfortzonequeen @melanin-honeyy @strawberrymoon45 @luckygirlszn @kindofaintrovert @secretlifeoofmarpessa @cmbmjbfan @summwerella @qdancer22 @ihateyallniggas @rebelrel0987 @cheracherachera @bhristpher @cocooned-butterfly @ovohanna24 @theblessedcap @deijalee @ranikyani @catha2003 @magik22 @sweettea-and-honeybutter @pinkbuzzlightyrrr @justicefordeanthomas @liv10002 @kalideshawnwrites @j0joworld @withoutmusiclifewouldbflat @ladynotdiana @mymindisneverhere @brattyfics

[passionateseadruid]

Snake king’s bride 7

Holiday Havoc part 1 of 2

CW: Swearing, religious topics, Violence, one mention of dub-con and more

Summary:

This chapter was brought to you by spite and Lucifer’s slutty waist and sluttier child bearing hips. Man needs to close his FUCKING LEGS!

Notes:

HEY REALLY QUICK IMPORTAINT NOTE: So in this chapter there's gonna be a lot of references to religion and a surprise and ONE mention of Dubcon at the end. If you are uncomfortable feel free to skip this chapter. If you want to skip the chapter but you want to see the surprise I’ll leave a note at the end.   Also sorry this took so long to get out, I was having a hard time getting inspiration for this and then my computer broke. And on top of that a good 30 minutes of work was Deleted! Fuck ao3

It's been a few weeks since you've met Fizzarolli. He hasn't Been able to find anything but you're hopeful because you'll actually get to see him again at the end of the week for the kings annual holiday party. To top it all off you haven't bought a single present for anyone (plus you're not even sure who it's appropriate to buy presents for).

But none of that is what you were concerned with right now. No, right now you have to convince the short blond idiot in front of you not to wear a green tree print tux embroidered top to bottom in tinsel, lights, and other decorations.

"First of all, you are NOT coming with me to my parents dinner-"

"Of course I am! I have to introduce myself to my new in-laws." He cuts you off playfully sticking out his forked tongue.

"I figured you'd overstep again." You sighed. "If that's the case then secondly you cannot wear that to this dinner. All of my brothers are gonna be there, plus Lilian is gonna be there. I want to make a good impression so that you don't kill them."

"Okay fine. What do you want me to wear?" He sighed. Under his happy exterior he was fairly nervous.

You went into his closet and looked through his clothes. "We also need to set up some ground rules. My entire family is veryreligious and while I'm no Mother Teresa I still don't want them to worry about me."

"Teresa was such a goodie two shoes. I observed her when she was alive and she was even more virtuous than anyone else makes her out to be." He sighed and looked toward the ground for a moment. "She... reminds me of someone I knew back in heaven. Or she did, but the angel I knew... changed"

"Really? You don't talk about your past much."

"...You said you had ground rules for me." Lucifer avoided your eyes as he changed the subject.

"Firstly, don't tell them anything about you being the devil; or about heaven or hell; oh or about our situation. Secondly, don't mention Charlie; I don't want them freaking out about you being billions of years older than me, or about the fact that you have a daughter whose old enough to be my sister."

"She's actually old enough to be your great grandma."

"And you don't find any problem with this relationship."

"Darling look I know that we're an... ahem... unusual couple but I can't go on without you. I'll do anything to have you." He cups your chin and forces a kiss.

"Rule three, you are not allowed to be overly sexual. I have four brothers and three of them have kids so no groping me and no talking about how you wanna diddle my holes in my sleep."

"That's disgusting, I wouldn't do that to you." He defended against your accusation. 

"Okay we should probably go over each of my family members and their jobs. I hope we'll have enough time to go over this and get them presents."

"Don't worry! We'll just give each of them $10,000."

"Hells currency isn't going to be valuable on earth.

"I know. But for all your protests towards my affection you sure seem to forget who I am. I'm the Devil darling. I have pretty much every politician in my pocket. Here check this out!" He pulled you away from the clothes and into a side room off of his bedroom. Never a good thing to have. He shows you a room that's mostly filled with carnival games. "Here I'll spin this wheel, you take a dart and throw it at them. Whoever it lands on I'll go have a little chat with."

"How about you do that and I'll go pick out something for you to wear." This was just too weird. "If you're absolutely serious we'll need 14 grand."

////////////////////////////////////////

About an hour later you two were sitting in the kitchen going over your family members. He wore the red sweater with a big duck plastered on the front and black pants you'd picked out. It was annoying having him matching your red sweater and floor length black skirt but nothing could be done about it considering the only other option was letting him dress like an idiot.

"Okay so my Mom’s name is Janice, she likes crafts. Dad's name is Dalton and he and my oldest brother Austin like to weld and woodwork. Austin is divorced and has only one girl, her name is Monika. Don't worry she's probably not gonna want to talk to anyone let alone you. My next oldest brother is Peter who's married to Margaret and they has twin boys named Christopher and Evan. Everyone calls Christopher CC though, since he likes that the best. The twins and their dad like rollercoasters and the batfam. Dallas is the brother I'm closest with and he is the epitome of middle child, very class clown type. He has two kids a boy names James and a girl named Missy. He lost his wife last year so don't don't bring it up okay? And finally my spoiled brother Michael. He's the youngest son, my mom's pride and joy. The golden boy, her favorite. Him and his Fiancée got married this summer in July. She despises me so whatever you do bite your tongue and be as nice as you can to her okay? The last thing I need is for Maggie to start crying."

"Golden boy Michael hits a bit to close to home for me." Lucifer looked away from you. Just anywhere away from your figure.

'Oh like that isn't your fault.' You thought, thankful that he couldn't read your mind. "Got all that?"

"Yep." He motions to a notepad that he wrote it all down on. "Quick question. What's the "BatFam"?"

"Bat family. Like Batman and all his robins. Here I should have a picture on my old phone of them last year trick or treating. Peter was Batman, Margaret was cat woman, Evan was Nightwing AKA Dick Grayson, and CC was the fifth robin, Damien Wayne."

"What about your old roommate?"

"Lilian moved in with her uncle when we were 14. He worked a lot to provide for her so she was left alone most holidays. I invited her over one year and she basically became part of the family. Are you ready to go? The fudge I made yesterday has probably settled by now."

"Yeah, let's go." He held out his hand. You took the fudge in your hands instead. He frowned and opened the portal. You both stepped through and found yourselves at your parents house. Lucifer knocked on the door and 

"Auntie!" James shouted from behind the CC who'd opened the door.

"Hi auntie!" CC smiled as the two boys hugged you.

"Hi boys! Let me get inside and put the fudge down." You smiled warmly, not noticing the short man behind you seething. Yes Lucifer knew how childish it was to be jealous of two young boys, and your nephews at that, but he couldn't help it. You smiled so warmly at them and you gave them the attention he so desperately craved.

You two walked in with the boys in toe. 

"How's my favorite baby sister?" Dallas asked as you set the fudge down on the counter and he picked you up to twirl you from behind. "Better not be doing the Devil’s Tango with that deviant." He teased quietly so only you heard him.

You giggled. "I'm doing fine."

"You better be! Do you know how worried we were when Lilian told us you ran away with your fiancé! None of us even knew you were engaged! Why didn't you tell us?" Austin pulled you out of Dallas's hold and squeezed your shoulders protectively.

"Her and I had a bit of a spur of the moment engagement. I mean if it feels right and they’re the one, why not tie the knot." Lucifer put his arm around your waist. "Hi, call me Lucy. Lucy Magne." He held out his other hand for either of your brothers to take. Austin takes his hand and his eyes widens when he feels the Devils cold black hand.

"Sorry. It's a skin condition. Very rare. Not hereditary."

"Uh huh." Austin looked suspiciously at him.

"Bestie!" Lilian runs up to you.

"Lilian hi! I- oof!” You were cut off by her hug.

"Why didn't you tell me you got a sugar daddy?" She whispered.

"A what?!" You blushed.

"Come on I'm not dumb. A man shows up in a clean white suit and asks about all the things you like. He says he wants to provide for you. It's so obvious it's painful."

"Well it's not as simple as that." You tried to explain but you were pulled away by your parents.

"Sweetheart! Where have you been? So much has happened in these past four months." Your mom hugged you. "I'm sorry mom. Things just happened and my life got kinda hectic."

"You're not pregnant are you?" She asked.

"What? No."

"Then why did you drop out of college? You practically fell off the face of the earth. You're only 19, you should live your life. You don't need to grow up so quickly. We already have 5 grandchildren, you don't need to rush into marriage and family life. You should enjoy being young."

"I know mom." 'But I don't really have a choice.' "Him and I aren't rushing in to anything like that though. He's just… passionate about me and kinda… clingy."

"Come on Janice. We raised our girl right. She knows not to run around with degenerates." Your father came up to you both and squeezed your mother’s shoulder reassuringly. "Hi pumpkin." He turned to you.

"Hi dad." You two hugged each other. He led you over to the dining table and sat you down next to Lucifer who was arm wrestling with Monika.

"Why you going easy on me, old man? Just cause I'm a girl?"

"Haha… hah…" He chuckled awkwardly. "Who is she Goliath? I wasn't going easy on her." He whispered to you.

You looked at Monika. "Suplex him next." You smiled towards her as Lucifer's face fell. "It's nice to see you off your phone for once Monika."

"I guess I'm in a holiday mood since it's nearly Christmas." Everyone eventually came over to the table to eat.

////////////////////////////////////////

After about an hour of talking with your siblings you heard crying coming from the playroom your parents built decades ago.

"Is anyone hurt? Did the bookshelf fall down on someone? Did the curtain rod smack someone on the head?"

"Your freaky Fiancé made Missy cry." Evan pointed at you accusingly as James held the tot in his arms.

"What did you do?" You asked Furiously.

"Nothing." He held his arms up defensively. "It was just some light teasing."

"He said the goat man was gonna eat me!" Missy sniffled. 

"What goat man?" You rubbed her cheeks, whipping her tears away.

"Krampus." James answered.

"I didn’t say he was gonna eat her. I said Krampus beats naughty children who don't share with their siblings." Lucifer explained.

"I didn't even want the stuffed moose that badly. I swear I didn’t Auntie."

You shushed James and turned to the Devil. "What is wrong with you?! Why would you think that’s okay to say to CHILDREN?!"

"Honey I-"

You ran your hand through your hair. "You know what? I want you out. I’ll see you tomorrow but right now I need to be alone."

"What…?" His eyes widened.

"Leave. You've caused enough commotion for my family. My brother Austin thinks you're a creep. My mom, Dallas, and Lilian all think you're a deviant. And now you're traumatizing my niece and Nephews."

He left out the back door and you explained the situation to your parents afterwards.

////////////////////////////////////////

"Okay seriously this guy’s bad news sis." Michael persuaded as you two sat on the couch. It's been almost an hour and things are starting to die down. You and your youngest older brother sat in the kitchen talking by the island. "Look I know we've never been super close but you're my favorite sister and I worry about you. Without you, I'd be the one they shirk responsibility of watching the kids onto."

You rolled your eyes. 'Of course.' "So what do you suggest I do now?"

"Dump him. It's not like you need to get married. I mean, come on. You? A wife? HA! No, you're not the marriage type."

"I suppose. The only problem is that I can't get this stupid ring off." You look away. He goes to the cabinet and pulls out some vinegar. He grabs your hand and pours a bit on your ring but it won't come off. He pulled and pulled but it still wouldn't come off.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY BRIDE?!" A distorted voice came from the Fireplace in the living room. Out stepped Lucifer back in his white suit with his top hat. His red horns popped out of his head, fire sprouting between them. Just like at the ball; only this time he sprouted a tail. He grabbed you and pulled you toward the fireplace.

"NO! LET ME GO!" You thrashed in his hold. In a Last ditch Effort you grabbed the crucifix hanging on the wall and said, "Matthew 10:14 Begone Satan!"

"Ow! First of all it only works if you say the whole thing. Secondly IM NOT HIM!!" He slapped the cross out of your hand and slapped you to the floor. "AND FINALLY YOU REMEMBER WHAT I SAID WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU EVER BROUGHT UP THAT BOOK AGAIN. HOW ABOUT I KILL YOUR FAMILY INSTEAD SO YOU LEARN NOT TO FUCK WITH ME- Ah!" You two were cut off by a shot ringing out throughout the house and your dad holding a smoking shotgun in the doorway. "FUCK YOU! THAT’S GONNA BRUISE LIKE A BITCH TOMORROW!!"

"NO NO NO, PLEASE PLEASE. I'll do anything you want but please don't hurt my family." You clung to his striped vest as hot, fat tears ran down your face. 

His cheeks flushed at the sight of you sobbing, begging on the ground. He bit his lip as he fantasized about all the things he could do to you here and now.

"Stop! His skin is turning red! You're making him angrier!" Michael called.

"Shut up you horse-shit eater! Ah!" He cried as your mom rushed in and sprayed him with holy water. A few places on him started to blister like a burn. A few on his right horn and arm and one on the shell of his ear.

"PLEASE! ILL DO ANYTHING!" You begged, wrapping your arms around his small waist.

"I'll spare them if you vow to never contact them again. And I get to do whatever I want to you tonight."

"Deal!"

"NO!" Several members of your family shout. He envelopes your hand as a fiery illusion overtakes both of your hands and he pulls you into the fireplace.

Notes:

Yep, your dad has a shotgun now! Yay?j

[candyredmusings]

Harvester (1996) Sentence Starts

A whole mix bag, but mostly NSFT and/or crack Change pronouns/gendered terms as needed!

"You killed your family?"

"You always were a kidder, [NAME]!"

"You can't live without a spinal cord, son. Nothing unnatural about that."

" You'll rot your mind playing games like that..."

"Is God a jar of strawberry preserves, a size 12 sneaker, a footlong Hogie, an all-expense paid trip to Brazil, or a NEWWW CARRRRR?"

"Pot roast isn't for backstabbers. For persecutors! I won't share my meat with him!"

"Hello, [NAME]. Care to stay for some pot roast?"

"My meat! MY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"Ah, shit! Ah, shit on a stickaroo!"

"What are you talking about, this TV is brand new! There are no TVs with color on them."

"When a bee stings, it rips itself apart and dies for its audacity. This appeals to those worshipping a God that demands sacrifice and atonement. But the wasp is promiscuous. They are not as sympathetic to the masses because they don't die when they sting. They live to sting another day... and they take pleasure from that."

"Cut the crap. We both know you set that fire."

" I'm not threatening you...I just want to help."

"You can't shoot me... I'm an American! I have rights!"

"Ahhh... art's for Commies, anyway."

" You're a little vain, huh?"

"Uh, you're not that hot... get over it, toots."

"Yeah, I offed him all right."

"Nah, a nice fairy left it under my pillow."

"You're welcome to have this evidence, with my compliments."

"But what about civic responsibility?"

"You're a little brat."

"But you're a woman."

"Sure, I'd love to get it on with the ladies!"

"What's communism got to do with anything?"

"How can you SAY something so horrible?"

"[NAME]'s a swell name! My dog's name is [NAME]!"

"Nothing like an exploding head to get the blood pumping. . . . Literally, that is."

"The hell it is! You always were a kidder, [NAME]. Any real news to tell me?"

"I mean I don't know anyone! I don't remember anything! How many times do I have to say it?!"

"I need to feel something again."

"Yeah, I know what that crazy little bitch said, but it's not true!

"What makes you so sure she needs a penis?"

"I'd rather die than become as twisted as you."

"Would I kid about something like that? Why won't you believe me?"

"Screwing in the school broom closet. What will people think?"

"I did not speak, but my mind touched yours."

"I expect nothing. What must unfold will."

"Sure would be nice to have one'a them girly pi'cher books..."

"I don't know what it is about marriage that turns even the bravest man into a coward!"

"[NAME] has a... a liking for me. I'd call it a crush, but that's too innocent a word."

"That child needs a father. . . and [NAME], well she needs a good, hard penis."

"Money isn't everything for a woman. Can money keep you warm at night? Can you wrap your thighs around it, or rake bloody gashes in its back with your painted, harlot fingernails?

"There's things you don't know about the family business... but you'll learn."

"I am glad to see you taking an interest in the business in your dad's absence."

"Safeguards? There ARE NO SAFEGUARDS ... This is the fifties."

"Sometimes I hide in there beforehand, and daddy-o, I seen some stuff that's real nasty!"

"You were always a smiley bear."

"I know it's a mystery to you... The sacred things husbands and wives do behind closed doors."

"I could use a little relaxation ... But since [NAME] isn't here, I guess I'll talk to you."

"I'd rather die than become as twisted as you."

"You insult my beauty?"

"Well that didn't work."

"Shocked? This is the mystery of motherly love."

"Everyone says motherhood is fulfilling, when in reality it's draining."

"Violence is as American as apple pie and low SAT scores!"

"From the start, children are parasites. That's what you've got to understand."

"How about some cookies? There's some rejects in the trash!"

"I'm not a person, [NAME], I'm an object."

"Young man/woman/one, we really have nothing to say to each other."

"Say, can you spare a dime for a buckaroo who's down on his luck?"

"Things'll never be the same now. Guess I'll be watching TV tonight..."

"Well, I hope you're proud of yourself ... Killing my clientele."

"Excuse me, you can't come in right now, I just mopped the floor."

"I don't remember you."

"Land's sakes! Stop your joshing, wont you?"

"You look just like my mom ... Except for the hair."

"There's nothing bizarre about baking cookies."

"Only those who seek enlighten warrant my attention."

"I've never believed in the old adage, 'spare the rod and spoil the child' ... A rod is too thin. But baseball bat, that works quite nicely."

"My stars that was exciting!"

"Good women can be awfully hard on a man's needs, don't'cha know."

"That man gives me the willies ... Speaking of willies, how's your father?"

"That's right, I am the law ... And I'm on my lunch hour."

"Sometimes, I hide in there beforehand and daddy-o! I've seen some stuff that's really nasty!"

"Are you blackmailing us, you little shit?"

"Why are you covering up for him [NAME?]"

"Obviously, [NAME] is a lesbian."

"Lack of respect for authority ... A fine trait!"

[bengiyo]

Love is Better the Second Time Around Ep 5 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Miyata tried to hold back with Iwanaga, but was eventually won over by a subtle pout. Miyata and Shiraishi had yet another bitchy exchange. Miyata got some of what he needed from Iwanaga, and they had a really excellent bed scene. Unfortunately, we left at another evil ex showing up.

With about $1500 anything is possible! I miss those days.

Wow, so we're starting on Miyata feeling played.

Wow I do not like this dude.

Whoa, fuck this dude! He broke them up and outed them! Iwanaga was put up for adoption? What the fuck??

I'm feeling such tension about not being able to opt out of work assignments because you can't reveal the gay context.

I appreciate that the waiter offered to take their picture and the other diners mostly seem to be ignoring them. I needed to not sink into the closet paranoia again.

Cohabitation? Sir, this is way too fast.

The coloring of this scene on the stairs is gorgeous.

I also am glad that Miyata is still being cautious, despite feeling like he's being swept up in the feelings.

I've not hated a character so quickly since that shitty music teacher in Sing My Crush.

Also, fuck Iwanaga's family. They disowned him but now need his help?

Boys, can we not have difficult conversations over knives?

I feel like this asshole is intentionally provoking this fight as fodder for whatever goals he has with the family.

Wow their skin looks great in this light.

A hickey!!

I can't unsee the lamp now. It is very much in the way.

These two don't know each other very well. This family problem is a lot this early in their second chance.

Now why the hell are we breaking up again? Iwanaga, this will not protect Miyata.

This was so fast. So much got squeezed into this episode that we didn't even have time to show off any sex or have a bitchy fight with Shiraishi. I didn't want to see Miyata fight with Sugimoto just to have him balk in front of Reina. Now we're at a breakup? This sucks!!

[deadpool15]

Girl please

I'm walking around trying to gather all my shit. I can't ever find shit in this bitch. "Baby, if you can't come that absolutely fine. I just thought since you were in Korea, well, you know.." I turn around and stare at the phone. "Kirsten Dogen, you sit there and pass off a fake ass undertone with me again, and you are not getting those snacks you like when I pull up. Don't throw shade at me, young lady." I hear a bunch of laughs coming from the phone which I can't really identify, I guess those are the other girls she is doing the photoshoot with. Serves her right. I don't take the back talk. "Baby, really legal government names, that's how we gonna play it." She says with a pout on that God forsaken beautiful fucking face. But I realize to back down. "And did, what's your point."

"Also, your fav boots are in our closet, in my side, sweetie," When I heard those words, I turned around, and I almost got whiplash. "Why would MY boots be on your side, huh?" She stares at me sheepishly before trying to make it seem like someone is calling her, and quickly saying she had to go. I sit there in disbelief, "I know she did not just hang up on me. And proceeded to not answer my question at that. Girl literally just cut me off like I wasn't talking." After a while of absolute bullshit I finally decided to finish getting ready. It was pretty hot in Korea, so I went for some shorts and a crop. With my favorite boots, of course. I then decided to call up Yeonjun. Me and that man had been friends ever since his family decided to randomly pull up to California for a couple of years. I showed him around, and his mom used to joke about us being together. Then he came back to Korea and our parents thought it would be a good idea to send each other letters.

Our friendship has lasted for what felt like a lifetime, and I love that dude. Through Kirsten couldn't stand him. I felt like she had just never taken the time to give him a chance. Sure, Yeonjun was flirty sometimes, but that's just him as a person, and he knew when to back off. I would never hurt my wife, and sometimes, I felt like she didn't trust me. I mean, Yeonjun was literally my right hand at our wedding. Out there standing next to me prepared me for my life, cheering the loudest when we officially got married. It even got to the point where she shit talked him once and got angry at me. Like true enough, I love my wife, and I love my bestie, so I wanted them to get along. Hopefully, today works out. I had been signed to Hybe labels as an official choreographer, mainly working with newjeans because those are my girls, but I had worked with other groups as well. The public was quite familiar with me and our friendship, so it was never any dating rumors. Sure, people wanted us together, but that's their issue. I'm happily married.

Yeonjun had pulled up in his van. Opened the door before I hit him in the head. "Why are you always so aggressive all the time? There was literally no need for that hit, Cece." I just push him in the van before grabbing his face. Every time I go to America, I leave for a while. I had to take some other jobs that were literally amazing. Though when I come back, I always make it a habit of checking Yeonjun. Companies are known to starve their idols with fucked up so called diets and I refused to allow it to happen to my bestie. I mean, I almost beat a staff ass for suggesting my litter hyein needed to lose a couple of pounds. "You look good, just doing my family checks." He smiled at me, "I'm glad you care about my health so much, sis." We sat there in the car just catching up on all the shig we have missed in life. Before I told him we would be going to see Kirsten, he just smiled and said, "That's cool." Weridly enough he never had a issue with her, and never tried to say anything back when she insulted him stating she is your wife and you my little sister, I understand why she is jealous but I wouldn't disrespect you other half. My brother is just too amazing. Sometimes, I feel like he read that shit from a magazine.

We pulled up the building, seeing workers running around and losing their minds, trying to make sure everything was perfect. As I walked inside, I heard a scream typical, it what I get for being koreas number it boy with me. Yeonjun just smiles and embraces all the attention. He has also been a suckered for the spotlight. While he is doing that, I tell him I'll go in the back to find Kirsten. I walk away, thankfully, running into Funky Y and greeting her, of course. She is all smiles and asking me all these questions before I cut the conversation short and ask about Kristen. "She is in the back with makeup." I nod and thank her before making my way back there. Seeing her getting all dolled up dripped down in Calvin Klein for the shoot, "Well, look at you." Hearing my voice, she immediately turns around before jumping up to hug me. "Omg, you're finally here. I thought you were made at me about the boot thing. I just wore them at the beginning of the show, to like reveal us. So it technically wasn't that long." I brush her hair out of her face, taking a goof look at her. "I don't care that you wore them, I care that you hung up on me while we were still talking. Don't think I forgot about that. And there shall be punishments in order, baby." I smirk once I see her scared face before kissing her head, trying not to mess up her makeup.

"Guys, it took me forever to find you. It's like a lot of rooms in here. Hi, Kirsten. You look great. What's the shoot for?" Yeonjun asks while running in her out of breath, I turn and laugh at him before turning back to her and see her face. "It's Calvin Klein, pretty obvious to anyone with a brain." She states with a look of pure annoyance while staring at him. Then whispered in my ear why you had to bring him. I grip her arm as a warning, while yeonjun asks us if we want anything to drink, I tell him I'll have an apple juice before Kirsten says nothing from you. "OK, fucking stop it. I try my very best not to take sides because I care about both of you and want you to equally get along. But this shit ends now," I see her face try to turn into a pout before I squeeze her side, letting her know I'm not dealing with the fake shit. "No more animosity or any of that shit, got it." They both look at each other before Yeonjun randomly hugs us both. "I don't have a problem with you, Kirsten. If anything, I'm glad that my litter sister was able to find you, though I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you feel angry. I look over to her, stating it's her turn, and she sighs, "You didn't really do anything, it's just you two are so close, and I know you don't like her like that. But I told myself that if I hated you, it would be easier. Which is a really hard thing to do since you are so happy and bright. I was insecure, and I took it out of you, but then I realized you two are just like siblings, and I felt stupid and thought it was all in my head."

Yeonjun hugs us closer before saying he will give us a minute while patting Kirsten on the back. "Baby, your thoughts are never stupid, and if you feel so strongly, you come and talk to me. We are a team, and till death, do us part remember." She smiles while hugging me tighter and kissing all over my face. "It's ok, I'll try my best to make it up, Yeonjun, for all the shit I put him through. I know he is a nice guy." I just rock her from side to side while listening. "That's amazing, baby, and don't think I forgot about your punishment from earlier. You are in for it when we get home, baby." I tell her while gripping her ass.

Request by @kirsmyonlyone

[squarebracketsmileyface]

this might be a weird question, so forgive me if it is, but in the Lark Lives AU of Pretty Girl Propaganda, do you think there'd be times that Lark would get jealous of Tim being the one to be pregnant and eventually nurse Birdie? as in, since Lark is the transfemme/would be the mama in the situation, would she ever feel like 'pregnancy is normally a 'woman's' job, and i'm a woman, this isn't fair'? i saw a tidbit on uterine transplants as a possible way for transgender women to be the pregnant parent, and it got me thinking.

Not a weird question at all :D I actually really love it cos it really gave me something to think about.

This got long again so it's under the thingy, because when do they not when it comes to me talking about Lark and everyone in PGPau? There's also a vague list of the art ideas I currently have for S,IL that I haven't drawn yet, in case you're interested in seeing that lol

I think in a version of PGPau where Lark had already realised her gender by the time birdie was born, she would be a little jealous, maybe not even jealous, it'd probably be more of a "oh I'm not doing enough, I'm not good enough, I'm not woman enough, I don't have 'proper' boobs because I can't breastfeed my baby" (if somehow she got on E and grew boobs in the like five months between getting Shot and Birdie being born lol), rather than any sort of jealousy in the way I think about it (as in, jealousy being a thing more pointed at another person and thinking they shouldn't have what they do/being angry that they have something you don't?) but I think there would also be, just, so much else going on in having a newborn that she wouldn't get a huge amount of time to think about it between looking after Birdie alongside Tim. And also just the joy of "holy shit we have a baby together, we've started a family, we lived long enough to do that!" would also help.

There would be moments though.

There would definitely be moments where she'd just feel so fucking insecure, moments where she'd feel dysphoric over it. Like, usually new mums can go to parenting classes with their babies, or mum groups, but they're so cisgender-centric that Lark would just feel so out of place. She can't talk about breast feeding, or the actual process of being pregnant or giving birth because she never had that. Tim had that. The two of them would feel very stuck figuring this all out on their own as a T4T couple. And I would like to think maybe they'd have some queer friends they could talk to about it, but if I'm being honest with myself, I think both of them would be wary about connecting with people again for a long while.

So yeah, Lark would definitely feel just generally bad about not being the one to be pregnant with or breastfeed Birdie, at least a bit. Dysphoria and just general inadequacy the way you said it, that generally childrearing is a "woman's job," and Lark would probably feel like she wasn't doing enough, like she was being neglectful in some way letting Tim feed Birdie most of the time since they chose not to go down the formula route and to mostly try to breastfeed her whenever possible. She'd double down on looking after wherever they're living to try and feel better in herself though, I think. Partly because, again the idea of "women's work" and her getting to do that would make her feel a bit more like a woman in herself, and because it'd mean that Tim wouldn't have to worry about it, he wouldn't have to stress about doing laundry or anything while he's also trying to juggle Birdie, especially right after giving birth and all that.

He definitely wouldn't let Lark do everything, at some points he'd need a break from looking after the baby, and so he'll hand her off to Lark so he can get out of the house for a bit, maybe go shopping for groceries. Or even just get out of the same room, go hide in the laundry closet for a while, or go nap. Y'know?

Those times where Tim hands Birdie over to Lark for a bit would probably be quite nice for her too, because even if she can't feed Birdie the way Tim can, she can still look after her little girl. She still has to change her stinky diapers and burp her and clean up baby barf 💀 and for the most part I think she'd be happy, I think the feelings of inadequacy and insecurity would be fairly few and far between, but they definitely would come. And with both her and Tim being exhausted constantly because, y'know, baby (they're not getting good sleep, they're constantly looking after her and all that, they don't have any support systems around them from friends and family, and they're T4T so they feel very isolated from other first time parents) those moments of feeling like shit would definitely feel way worse than they otherwise might. For both of them, honestly.

I think having a baby would be a thing that they both can find both gender dysphoria inducing and gender euphoria inducing, just depending on the thing they're doing, or the day, or how tired they are or whatever.

If Jay didn't realise he was trans until where I've kinda vaguely set It for like the 'main' version of PGPau, about 6-7 years on from the end of MH, then I do think he'd also get dysphoric about not being the one to carry Birdie and all that, but he wouldn't know WHY he was feeling like that, or maybe even WHAT he was feeling in some cases. There'd just be a lot of general "I'm not doing enough, I need to do more" and vague "why am I so upset feeling whenever I see Tim getting to breast feed our baby?" kinda stuff. I think Tim would have an inkling that something was up, but I'm not sure if he'd fully put together that it's a dysphoria thing since at that point Jay would have still been going "No. No I'm a guy, I just like wearing skirts and pretty lingerie in bed sometimes. It's nothing except a sex thing shush" y'know?

I honestly think that without fully knowing what or why he was feeling, Jay would probably get into more arguments with Tim, because neither of them would be able to really understand Jay's feelings about it all. I don't think it'd fuck them up for good or anything, but I do think they'd get into tired arguments a lot more, because Jay wouldn't be able to articulate like "hey, I'm feeling really dysphoric today so I'm gonna go do [insert thing here] to try and make myself feel better" he'd just be going "idk I'm sad/angry/whatever and I don't know why or how to fix it and this is shit and I can't cope" so he'd probably get a bit snippy or sharp with Tim. And then, again, they're both fucking exhausted so things that otherwise might not have come to a head a lot quicker and leave them needing to spend a bit of time apart to calm down so they don't start shouting. Also like, hormones. Tim's just been pregnant, the hormones aren't gonna magically settle right back down straight away, especially while he's like, still chest feeding and has a newborn and all that.

This has now given me an idea for a drawing.

I decided to make a list of the drawings I wanna do. The idea this ask gave me is specifically the ones highlighted in red, cos up til now I've only really thought of like. Lark and Birdie when Birdie's a bit older, cos that's when Lark figured out she was, y'know, Lark. But this is my mess of an AU so I can fuck around the timelines literally as much as I want to. If I want Lark to have fully realised herself and look like she's been on E for ages, and to look super femme, even tho it's only been like 5 months since the end of MH, I can just do that.

I know for a fact that the "Chapter 10 (⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)" one is gonna get done eventually. The others are so far just things I wanna draw but have no clue if/when I will. Chapter 10 (as in ch. 10 of My Girl) is 100% gonna get done at some point before I post chapter 10, so it can go up with that chapter whenever it's written lol.

Please excuse my handwriting above. I have an everything ache rn

[lyon-amore]

*AU. Day after Jake ran away. Sorry again for having this idea again, I really like it a lot. *

𝓓𝓪𝔂 1

    I wake up early like every day. But this time, I have to dress up more for the occasion. I'm very nervous, since I'm going to introduce Jake to my family. My parents already know him, but now it was my family who wanted to meet the guy I kept talking about. The best thing is that he agreed last night. He had even told me that he would accompany me to the end of the world. Something I had not expected. It really was him. The only one who made me happy. Jake was the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life and I couldn't change that. In the end, dreams came true, even though I never expected it to happen.

    Like every morning, I do the same thing since I go out with him. I go straight to the chat to say good morning.

    Although this time it's different. 

    I get scared.

    I can't find his chat anywhere, it should be in second place because before going to sleep I talked to Lian and he's not there. It's like his chat has been deleted.     I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer. Something terrible had to happen, right?     So I have to call Al, worried.

   “Al?!”I shout as soon as he answered.

    “Macie? It's still early to shout—”

    “I'm sorry! But is Jake in his room?!”

    "I don't know, I fell asleep at a friend's house—"

    “See if you have his chat!”

    I hear him let out a yawn and I get out of bed, starting to pace around the room.     If Albert still has Jake, it means that maybe he eliminated me because of the pressure I put on him last night and he doesn't want to be with me anymore… But… Couldn't he have told me? Did the relationship have to end like this?

   “Macie…”I hear Albert say in a confused way “Well…”

   "What's wrong?" I ask, placing a hand on my chest. I know something is wrong, but I can't help but think it's my fault.

   “It's not there.”

    I stop walking. And I can't think clearly.

   "What do you mean it's not there?" I ask, sitting back down.

    My legs are shaking. The last thing I want to think about is that he left without giving us an explanation.

   “His chat isn't there, no... there's nothing, I don't have any photos of him either.”

    I go into my photo gallery and luckily, I see that they are still there.

    Or so I thought because I see everything starting to get eliminated.

    Scared, except for some of the photos, which I nervously selected and sent to the email.

   “What’s going on?” I ask Al, unable to breathe. “Why are the photos disappearing?”

   “What?” he growls through his phone. “What do you mean, it’s disappearing?”

   “I have to go see him,” I get up and walk over to the closet, taking out the first thing I find.

   “See you in fifteen minutes.”

    I say goodbye and my phone rings. My father. I leave it ringing, not wanting to answer. Now it's more important to know what happened to Jake.

    As soon as I get to the apartment, I knock desperately, but he doesn't open the door.

   “Jake! Please open the door!” I scream, nervous.

   “Will you shut up for once?!” a lady peeks through the door of her house, “I'm going to call the police if you don't stop making noise!”

   "Shut up!" I reply, pointing at her as if she were the culprit.

    But I know I'm the one making a scene. Just because I don't understand what's going on.

   “Macie,” I turn around when I hear Albert, with the keys in my hand, “sorry, the traffic lights were red the whole time.”

    I step aside and let him open the door.     When he opens the door, he lets me go first.

   "Jake?" I call him again, going to his room.

    His bed is made, but that's not what draws my attention. There's not even a computer of his. No towers, no screens, no laptops... there's nothing.     I know it’s wrong, but out of fear, I go to the closet and check to see if his clothes are still there.     It’s almost empty and in the drawers there are no underwear or socks, nothing. Nothing.

   “He's not there?” Albert enters the room while I search to see if he has left any clues, anything that explains why he left.

   “No, he's not there,” I check his DVDs for a note, a flash drive... something. He must have left something, “I don't understand, why isn't he here?”

   “I'm going to call our friends,” he leaves the room, letting me take in everything.

    I look under the bed, hoping that maybe he left something there, but nothing. 

    By the time Al gets back into the room, I'm done searching. I sit up in bed, looking at my phone, seeing all the calls I've made to Jake. But none of them have reached his phone.     My hands are shaking as I see his phone number on the screen.

   "I've spoken to the landlady," I hear him say, but I don't dare look at him. "Apparently, he broke his contract before he left."

    A drop falls on the screen. I started crying. It can't be that he just left like that... It doesn't make sense...

   “And… And your friends?” I ask while I squeeze the phone tightly.

   "I have called those who did not stay with me, they don’t know anything either.”

    He comes over and sits next to me, also with his phone in his hand.

   “Have he answered?”

   “No,” I reply, wiping the screen and bringing the phone back to my ear to call him. “I’ll try again.”

    He nods and we wait.

    This is so weird, because maybe if I've overwhelmed him, I would understand if he explained it to me and I would decide to leave him if he asked me, but... Not tell Albert that he was leaving? His best friend? Why do this?

9 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓙𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓭

    I've spent the past week and this one asking about Jake everywhere he go. I hardly went to class because I was worried, and when I went to university, it was to ask my professors if they knew anything.

    I sit up in bed after a short sleep. I've been sleeping in his room since he left, waiting for him to come back.     Every night I wear one of his t-shirts as pajamas, and… Maybe I'll put a little of his cologne on it so I can feel closer to him. Feel safe at night.     Albert has let me stay at least until I recover too, since he is watching me so that I eat and rest. I think I gave him the wrong impression when I found out Jake was missing. He almost sounds like my mother when I told her, she wanted me to come home with them, but I can't stand having to listen to my father say 'I told you about him'.

    After showering and getting dressed, I head back to the room to do some internet research on him. I need to post on social media if anyone knows anything or maybe on the university forums.

   "Stop right there," Al steps in the middle, with a cup of coffee and a plate of toast. "Are you going to lock yourself in again?"

   "I need to write about him," I replied, picking up the glass and plate. "I can't just sit back, Al. I have to find Jake and get him to at least give me a good explanation so I can have peace of mind."

   "Okay," he sighs and steps away from the door.

    I walk in and sit at the table, leaving my breakfast on the desk as I put my hair up to work. Everything in his room is still intact. I don't want to remove a single poster or any of the collectible figures. Everything is his and I like it. It makes me feel close to Jake. I found his tastes adorable, his passion for his hobbies, his movies, his favorite games… That's what made him Jake, a lovable geeky boy and the most affectionate person I'd ever had in my life. And I can't stop thinking that something bad has happened for it to disappear without warning.

    Albert walks past me, sitting on the bed. It's amazing to have a nanny when I'm twenty-two.

   "I've thought of something," he begins, "although I don't think you'll like it very much."

   "Anything that helps us will be fine," I reply as I write on the forums.

    I have seen that Albert has posted messages on social media to find out if anyone has been able to see him. It hurts me to see his photo. It is one of the few things I was able to save.

   “What if we contact Jake's ex?”

    I stop writing when I hear that question. I open and close my hands, afraid that maybe he left me for her without telling me.

   "You mean Katherine?" I ask, not daring to look at him.

   "She's the only ex he has," his voice sounds sincere. “Maybe something happened to her and she asked for help and Jake, being the good guy on the planet, finds it impossible to say no when people ask him for help.”

    I take a deep breath, swallowing, trying to maintain my composure.

   “Give me her contact,” I finally answer, turning in my chair.

   “I think it would be better if I talked to her.”

   "Al, I'm not going to threaten her, I'm not like that," I roll my eyes.

   “It's actually the other way around, I care about you,” I see him take out his phone and start searching. “Done, sent.”

    My phone rings and I open Al's chat, seeing that he sent me Katherine's contact. Unfortunately, I know her.

   "Good luck," he pats me on the shoulder and walks away.

    I start to write, but I stop. I think it would be better to talk to her, I need to know if her tone of voice betrays any lies she might tell.     I hit the call icon and wait for her to answer.

   “Yes? Who is it?”

    I open and close my mouth nervously. I don't know what to say. I don't really like her, but I don't dislike her either.

   “Katherine Beinh?” I ask first, even though I recognize the voice.

   "The same," she answers, a little distant from the phone. "Excuse me, you caught me working. Who are you?"

   “I’m… Macie Connors.”

   “Oh, yeah!” She lets out a laugh and for a moment, it makes me uncomfortable “You made a good impression on all your classmates with your speech on the first day: ‘I chose journalism to show the truth and uncover the lies that people hide.’ A classic, but the teacher liked it.”

   “Yeah…”

    I bite the inside of my cheek, controlling myself as I listen to her mimic me.

   "I'm sorry, it was just adorable," she continues. "Like the last time I saw you, you were a kid."

   “I was eighteen years old,” my voice catches from my nerves. I hate that she treats me like a child, but I know why she does it… “Is… Is Jake with you?”

    There is silence on the line. With every second of the call, I start to feel worse and worse, feeling like she is hiding something from me.

   “And why do you ask me that?” I can tell from her tone of voice that she is curious. I guess that's a no.

   “Jake has been missing for nine days,” I start tapping the cup I haven’t touched yet. The coffee must be cold by now, “and I was wondering…”

   “If he had abandoned you and come to look for me in France?” I look down, ashamed of her words. Yes, it sounded ridiculous when she said the question. “Honey, if after two years of relationship he decided to run away, I think you should know that he did the same to me.”

   "How do you know it was two years?" I raised an eyebrow, surprised by his words.

    Katherine clears her throat and I hear papers in the background. Has she been looking at my social media posts with Jake? Because he's never had an Instagram.

   “Assumption, given that we were also together for two years.”

   <<Has she been spying on my social media to see Jake?>>

   “Uhu…”

   "Hey, don't take it personally," her voice seems more neutral. “I'm just telling you from experience, Jake never told me much about himself either, I mean... As if I was going to tell everyone what he told me in private.”

   <<You have become a gossip journalist, I think he had an idea about you that he didn't tell you anything...>>

“Have you asked him for help with anything?” I remember Al's words and ask him the question.

   "No, I haven't asked him for help," she sounds annoyed now. "Look Macie, no offense, but I don't think Jake isn't made for relationships., otherwise why wouldn't he be so honest?"

"You're wrong, he is indeed made for relationships, he has always been honest with me.”

“Really? Do you even know anything about his life?”

“Well, I—”

    I stay silent. Jake told me he has sisters, but he's never told me who they are for fear of breaking up their family. And I promised not to tell anyone because I was afraid that this information would reach where they live.

   << Maybe he finally went to meet his sisters? Has something happened to them?>>

   “See? Jake has never been honest, Macie,” she lets out a snort. “Don't waste your time looking for someone who ends up leaving you because he's not able to open up to you, find someone better than him.”

    I grip my phone tightly as I listen to her talk. I can't believe that Jake ran away because he doesn't know how to be in a relationship. These two years have been real, I'm sure. Katherine talks about heartbreak and I understand her, she had a special guy, but she didn't know how to see that he also deserved love.     Because what Jake was missing was someone who also cared about his opinions and what he was interested in, someone who would give him love and make him feel special. He was surprised that I fell in love with him, and it was because I could see beyond what I saw in his appearance. It was what he showed me with his actions. He is a special man who helps without wanting anything in return. Although I wanted to give him everything he most longed for: Someone who would understand him in a deep way.

   "Thank you for your time Katherine," I try to put my voice as calm as possible, although my expression must not say the same.

   “You know what, I’ll let you know if Jake gets in touch with me.” Her voice is cheerful. I think she’s happy to know that Jake has left me. “Bye, Macie.”

    I hang up and take a deep breath. No… He’s not going to contact her… Right? Was Jake planning on getting back together with Katherine?

   “𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚍. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎.”

    I stare at my phone screen in surprise. The test program Jake installed for me is still there. The black rabbit with one red eye looks at me with a smile waiting for me to hit the accept button.     If Jake hasn't deleted it from my phone, it must mean he still cares about me, because it's a program with a mascot designed especially for me, because he knew I liked bunnies.     I don’t know what happened, but I’m not going to let him go through it alone, whatever happened to him.     I’ll find a way to find him.

𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓙𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓭

    I had tried to combine my studies, my job to pay for an apartment where I would hardly sleep, and looking for Jake as best I could. Well, or so I think. There were nights when I fell asleep studying and barely had time for my friends. Lian tried to convince me to forget about looking for Jake. Easy for her, her boyfriend hasn't disappeared. I asked Brian for help, since he and Jake had gotten along well and Jake had helped his out at work before, but he told me that it is not possible because he is already busy with an important investigation.

    So, I've spent the last few months going from hospital to hospital looking for Jake's birth certificate, while Albert takes care of social media. 

    I fooled them all by showing a fake reporter's accreditation, using the knowledge I had learned so far.     My mission is to find information about his mother and look for his family, and from there, ask the families about his sisters. But I haven't found Jake's family yet.

    I look through the files for all the children named Jacob. I write down their phone numbers in the address book, occasionally checking to make sure they don't see me. I'm not supposed to get information from here, just make a kind of percentage on the most common names in the country.     And for a moment that I don't look, I hear a familiar voice.

   “Mac, put down the pen and leave the documents.”

    I close my eyes tightly as I listen to my father.

    I obey and put everything away, then turn on my heels and look at him in surprise.

   “What are you doing here?” I cross my arms, not too happy to see him. She never liked Jake, so she did everything she could to make me stop looking for him.

   “We have received a report from several people with children named Jacob who are being questioned by a young journalist,” I look away, there is no need to lie to her anymore. “Come on, I'm buying you lunch,” I open my mouth, but he stops me, “and I don't accept you saying you're busy looking for Jake.”

    He turns around and I follow him, annoyed that he interrupted me.     A ''good'' chat awaits me.

    It was a low blow to bring me to the restaurant where we always used to eat after his work and classes.     I keep mulling over a potato with ketchup, not really interested in eating. I just want the conversation to end and go away to continue investigating.

   "You look bad," I hear my father say. "Are you sleeping well, honey?"

   “I'm surprised you care about me now.”

   “That's not true, I always worry.”

    I sigh and lean back in my chair, crossing my arms. I know it's not an appropriate way to act because I'm an adult, but his disinterest in my concern for Jake annoys me.

   "So why don't you accept my reports about Jake's disappearance but you do accept Albert's?" I ask, annoyed.

   “Macie, you left his room upside down for the police to investigate.”

   “Okay, I screwed up with that, I admit it, but why don't you just say 'Relax, Mac, we'll find Jake' instead of 'If he didn't say anything to you when he left, don't expect him to come back with you when he gets back'?” I try to imitate his voice and I see him push his food away while placing his hands on the table "Why can't you support me even a little? Is it so hard for you that I want Jake back?"

    My whole body is shaking. I'm so angry that if I didn't want to be arrested, I would put on a show. I'll never understand why he never liked Jake, but I at least to pretend for me. To take my side.

   “How long has it been? A year since he disappeared?” he asks and I look away, seeing where he is going. “You should give up, this is only hurting you, look at yourself,” I look at him a little out of the corner of my eye, seeing how he points his hand at me, "You don't sleep and when you come home you don't even eat. How do you think I feel seeing my daughter's life ruined for a man who doesn't love her?"

    After hearing those last words, I get up from the chair and grab my bag. My father calls me and follows me to the exit, stopping me.

   “Let me go!” I scream and look at everyone, trying to calm down, “I promise I'll take care of myself, okay?” He lets go of my arm and I straighten my sleeve, “but don't tell me again that he doesn't love me because until he tells me, I'm not going to believe him.”

   “Macie…” he sighs, looking down, then looking into my eyes. “There are cowards who don't dare to say it. If he wanted to, he would have sent you a message, don't you think? Or at least called you to tell you that he is okay.”

I open the glass door without taking my eyes off him, and then leave the restaurant. My friends have also told me that, that maybe Jake never loved me, but then why did he also distance himself from his friends?

    With the thought that everyone doubts him, my feet take me to his apartment. Luckily Al left me the key that Jake left in the apartment for me to have, so I walk up the stairs until I reach his door and enter with tears streaming down my face.

   “Welcome!” I hear Albert greet me from his room, but I ignore him.

    I drop my bag on the floor and pull out of the closet a sweatshirt he left behind, hugging it to my chest. I lay down on the bed trying to let out everything I feel inside. The pain that comes from everyone telling me that Jake left me because he didn't love me and was just playing with me.     I hear footsteps. Albert has remained at the door.

   “Please tell me what you have news on social media,” I look at him with my eyes clouded with tears. I almost have trouble identifying him because my tears don't allow me to.

   "The posts I made have disappeared from Twitter and Instagram," he says, moving closer to the chair, putting his hands on his head. "Even the photos have been deleted."

   “What?” I sit up a little, wiping my eyes with my hands “No… Have they reported them?”

   "I don't think so, maybe there is another explanation."

   "Are you suggesting it was him?" Even more confused, I cling to my sweatshirt.

   "And who else?" he sighs, leaning back in his chair and moving it a little. “But don't worry, I'm not going to give up until he shows up and tells us the truth. At least that's what we deserve.”

    I nod but this does nothing to calm me down.    Albert gets up from the chair, sitting next to me and putting an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him.

   “Tell me the truth,” my voice shakes as I try to talk to him, “did Jake leave because of me? Did he never love me?”

   “No, Macie,” he answers me in a soft voice, “I can assure you that for him, you were important.”

    I'll trust Al's words, because I know they told him everything. He must have known the truth about Jake's feelings for me.

    I kiss the sweatshirt, hoping that one day I'll meet Jake again and find out why he walked away from me. 

𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻

║▌║  𝒥𝒶𝓀𝑒  ║▌║

    I was shocked to see that Hannah had sent her phone number to Thomas. So I immediately had to track down Macie's cell phone. I needed to see if she and Hannah had ever been in contact since I left and Macie had looked into the connection between Hannah and me.

    Everything I had stopped feeling these years, the loneliness I had chosen to avoid hurting myself had been pushed aside for a few minutes when I saw her profile picture. I was left breathless, watching her after years without seeing any recent photos of her.     A pleasant sensation ran through my body as I remembered all the moments with her.

    No. I must not. I cannot involve her with me. The important thing now is to find out why Hannah has sent her number while she is still kidnapped. Unfortunately I did not locate her cell phone in time.

    But I betray myself when I see her gallery, apparently she now has a rabbit, something she always wanted.     And something else catches my attention and makes me stare with a strange feeling.     It is her with Albert, smiling. He had stopped posting about me a while ago. Maybe they both moved on and started something together?

   “No… It cannot be… Right? They…?”

    I shake my head. Why am I interested now? I left four years ago. What does it matter now? The important thing is Hannah, she has been kidnapped for three days, she is the important thing, not Macie or what she has done with her life.     I must not lose focus now, I must keep a cool head.     I feel sorry for her, but I have already buried all my feelings.

    I let out a sigh, removing the photo of them being happy. At least it is good to see that she is with someone who would never put her in danger. Someone who would never hurt her. If I had stayed in contact with Macie, she would have only been in danger. It is better that she is with Albert, he was always much better than me…

   <<And if she is no longer important to you, then why do not you stop thinking about her? Why does it hurt you to see her photos?>>

    I place a hand on my chest, clutching the sweatshirt tightly.

   <<How can I make it stop hurting?>>

[goldenlionprince]

Join me in the christmas story procrastination mode!

💡 what's a fun idea you had that you didn't have time to get to? 🏅 what are you most proud of accomplishing? 🪅 brag about any project you want to! tell us why we should be reading it RIGHT NOW!!! 🎁 hype up one of your writing buds! what of theirs did you enjoy this year? 💞 HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

story procrastination 🙌🙌🙌 thank you!!! 🫶

💡 what's a fun idea you had that you didn't have time to get to?

the jilypad serial killer AU where, in a world where the ministy has fallen in the first war, just like it does in the second, and the members of the order have to go into hiding, James, Sirius and Lily pick off Death Eaters one by one as a payback for doing the same to the order. just unhinged murderers leaving bloody smiley faces on the crime scene (so very fun xD sorry)

there is also the vampire!Sirius and vampire!Lily trying to nibble at wizard-living-in-the-woods-cottagecore-style!James

🏅 what are you most proud of accomplishing?

that I managed to write stories for all the days of @prongsfootweekarchive and @jilypadweek! it's been a while since I have written anything at all so getting back into it AND managing all I wanted to do was kind of nice

🪅 brag about any project you want to! tell us why we should be reading it RIGHT NOW!!!

taking this to brag about the Christmas story I should be editing (I know it's not posted yet but there is a snippet)

7k of Prongsfoot at 29/30, waking up on the morning of Christmas Eve after a drunken night spent together and deciding why not keep this up for the Holidays? No one has to be alone, win-win.

Be prepated for Holiday cuteness, fuff and love, James' parents being alive and well, Peter being a (rat)dad of two so Prongsfoot uncle cuteness is a thing, everyone is a little shit, there is a Christmas market and a happy ending!

Ho Ho Ho (Bring A Bottle of Booze) will come on Monday, December 23rd to an AO3 near you!

🎁 hype up one of your writing buds! what of theirs did you enjoy this year?

There were SO MANY good stories. I'm in awe of all of your talent out there but here are a few that come to mind at the top of my head:

Prongsfoot:

of romance and locker rooms by @gracelesslady23 what's not to love about Sirius and James making out in a broom closet and realizing feelings?

Nightingale by @groundzero-v fighting Death Eaters and cleaning up battle wounds, you say 👀I'm here for that, always

Sip Happens by @eastwindmlk bartender Sirius is hot, okay? I get James. I really, really get him. He's one lucky guy, really, getting a kiss out of him

Journey by @lovelymasks Sirius coming back home after being away for a long time for Doctors Without Borders (smart, capable, selfless Sirius, hello my darling). James' ‘Major W. Anker’ sign at the airport pick up will always be my favourite

Professor Black by @mycupofrum delicious age gap AU done so very right

Jilypad:

A Midnight's Change by @jmagnabo92 Sirius thinks James and Lily might eventually tire of their friends with benefits situation. they very much won't. happy new year!

two for devine, three for magic by @eastwindmlk What can I say, I just love Sirius staying with the Potters. Also never will be over Moody telling them to practice safe sex

In the middle by @mycupofrum James and Sirius getting over a treesome that got a little too insense my getting even more intense is just everything (more prongsfoot centric)

Like slow cooking a lobster by @padfootastic Half dead first time parents James and Lily are hilarious. I love how it's not perfect and smooth sailing for them and how much Sirius fits into their little family and helps and I can't wait (I will wait patently forever) for the next chapter

💞 HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Thank you!🥰 I hope you have one as well!

[munsonlovers]

i need you to be careful, okay? - eddie munson

you'd been dating eddie munson for 4 years now. he was always the type to put himself in danger to protect the people he cared about.

you were always one to put others safety before yours even if it was just a small paper cut or if someone fell, you were right there. you two fit together like a puzzle piece, you guys were made for each other everyone said it and you guys knew it too.

eddie had barely survived the upside down but he came back to you and you took care of him when he was hurt and made sure he got better so he could finish high school once and for all.

he got a paper cut once and you were so worried. you made sure he cleaned it and wrapped it properly to prevent any infections. he loved that you care so much about him but he thought you were overreacting about such a small cut.

"baby, it's such a small cut and i'm not even bleeding that bad." he said smiling at you.

"i don't care eds, you could still get an infection and i-i'm not ready to almost lose you again." you said looking down.

"you won't lose me again sweetheart, i'm not going anywhere ever." he said giving you a kiss on the forehead.

since that day he's been careful with how he is at work and how he is anywhere that you aren't.

you'd worked a long shift at the radio shop across from family video. you just expected to come home, shower and crawl into bed with eddie but things changed when you saw wayne ruffling through eddie's closet for clothes and things he needs to stay over somewhere.

"hey wayne? what's all that for?" you questioned him.

he sighed and walked towards you.

"i can't believe he didn't have them call you. eddie got hurt at work. he broke his arm and has a few scratches, he also has a mild concussion. he's in better shape then they thought he was going to be y/n." wayne said rubbing your arm.

you couldn't believe it. eddie was so careful to not get hurt and here you were standing with wayne to pack him an overnight bag for the hospital.

you arrived and wayne barely had the car in park and you were already running in there asking about eddie munson. they showed you where he was and hopper was already there with eddie. he looked at you and frowned.

"kid, i'm so sorry this is happening. if you need anything, let joyce or i know." he said patting your back and walking out of the room.

you looked at him and yet with all the bruises and scars he had, you still thought he was beautiful.

"s-sweetheart, are you here?" he said looking for you.

of course he could identify that you were in the room. you are not sure if it was because you smelled like him or yourself.

"hi love, how are you feeling?" you said holding his hand.

"better now that your here." he said smiling at you.

even if he's feeling like shit, he still manages to flirt with you no matter who was around.

you smiled at him and kissed his forehead.

"baby what happened?" you said pushing hair off his forehead.

"i-i was working higher up then normal and all of a sudden something snapped. i went falling to the ground then i remember waking up with hopper beside me..." he said looking down.

you were so worried for him. he barley did anything after what happened in the upside down and now he looked upset that he let you down. he knew to be careful because he didn't want you to worry about him, yet here you were worrying about him.

"sweetheart, i'm just glad you are okay and that you're safe." you said rubbing his arm.

he was just glad you were here and not upset with him.

"i just didn't want to worry you or upset you because i did something really stupid." he said with tears in his eyes.

you put your hand on his face and moved his head up to meet your eyes.

"baby, you could never do anything to upset me. i just want you to be safe that's all. i've lost a lot of people in my life and i wasn't ready to lose you too." you said tearing up.

you'd lost a lot of people.

your dad, he was a marine and died protecting the country.

you lost your best friend to a stupid teenager who loved to hand out drugs to other teens.

hell you almost lost most of your friend group to this stupid upside down.

he looked at you with tears in his eyes. you never meant to make him upset, you just worried is all.

"baby, i'm just worried about you. i don't ever want to see you hurting." you said kissing his forehead.

"i know darling, i didn't mean to-" he said but you cut him off.

you kissed him. he smiled in the kiss and so did you. he knew you were just worried and wanted what's best for him. he poured all the love and appreciation for you into that kiss.

you bumped your noses together and he smiled wider. wayne had never seen his boy happier than when he was with you. he was so proud of how far you both have come and couldn't help but smile at you two.

"i need you to be careful, okay?" you smiled

"i love you so much, i promise not to do anything like this again." he said rubbing his thumb on your cheek.

you nodded and kissed his forehead again.

"you get some sleep and i will be here when you wake up." you smiled at him

he smiled back and cuddled up into the blankets. you held his hands as he fell asleep. wayne smiled at you and kissed your forehead.

"i'll be back later okay kid?" he whispered to you

you nodded and turned your gaze back to the boy you fell in love with in high school.

you knew he'd be okay but that wasn't going to stop you from practically being a helicopter girlfriend especially with him.

[zerosuitsammi3]

Hey there! I don’t know how to even begin with this but I’ve known I’ve preferred to be a woman for as long as can remember. I never knew what to do with these feelings so I just went along as the guy I was supposed to be. That is until the pandemic. During that time I spent a lot more time alone to process things and explore a little. And I’m in a position where things aren’t the best for my situation in any way. I come from an immigrant family and they’re not the most tolerant people when it comes to lgbt issues. I’m unfortunate enough to have grown into a big burly man body. I just got laid off before the holidays. And I’m still in a relationship that probably wouldn’t survive me transitioning. I’m 30 so I’m not asking what to do but I am pretty scared. Terrified actually. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m tearing apart inside. What was your experience? I hope I’m not being too much, this is the first time I’ve said these words to anyone. I hope you’re having a lovely day.

First off *hug* I know you're going through a lot. Bottled up dysphoria can be one of the most torturous feelings. I'm sorry that your situation is so challenging as well. I wish there was more I could do to help you. But know that you aren't alone. And your experience is something others have been through as well. Many in the community have been right where you are and can empathize. As well since you asked I'll share my story, and I'll try to keep it somewhat brief.

I personally always knew I was a girl even from a young age and I never felt comfortable. But as a kid born in the 90's I didn't have vocabulary to describe my feelings and only had offensive stereotypical depictions of trans women to go off of. I remember being a kid and crying myself to sleep at night because I felt wrong and I was wishing I'd wake up and find out the life I'd been living as a boy was actually all just an intense nightmare. But since I had no access to real knowledge about trans things I just went on living as a depressed effeminate boy with zero self confidence. That is until I was about 16 and as a joke while hanging out with friends I put on my gal friends poms gear to be silly and funny. But being the short skinny effeminate emo "boy" with long hair that I was. Well. I just looked like a girl the moment I put on feminine clothing. This moment kinda changed everything. I had to stop myself from crying because of how much I loved seeing myself as a girl in the mirror. Because certainly my friends couldn't know how much I loved it. That always stayed in my mind. And around age 19 I learned about hrt. I learned real things about everything transgender without the harmful stereotypes. I began really experimenting with my gender from 19 to 23. I desperately wanted hrt, but didn't know how to get and was desperately afraid. I was constantly dressing feminine at home and masculine in public. I got so depressed not getting to be myself all the time that I attempted suicide around 21. Still have a scar from it. Thankfully I lived. After that I started to do certain things publicly presenting femme. But sadly at 24 I went deep back in the closet for professional reasons and that lead to another depression spiral from 24 to 26. Instead of attempting suicide this time I just lived an incredibly unhealthy life. Very self destructive habits. A lot of chain smoking, excessive drinking, over eating. I was killing myself in a different way. Finally at 26 I broke and said I can't live like this anymore I can't pretend to be someone I'm not. I couldn't let the fear hold me back anymore. I went to therapy. I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria immediately and referred to a local lgbtqia+ doctor's office and was prescribed hrt. After starting hrt everything in my life improved. I lost about 80 lbs of depression weight in a very short amount of time. My anxiety became manageable and in a lot of cases became non-existent. My depression went away. I became actually self confident. I was actually happy. And now I've been on hrt for almost five years. I needed this. I would've died young had I not transitioned. So I know exactly what you feel when you say "you feel like you're tearing apart inside" I don't want to tell you to just do it, just transition, given your situation and what you stand to lose. But you need to ask yourself: can you stand to live not being your authentic self? Is it worth a life of self misery to keep what you have? If it's not, then it's time to transition and be who you are.

[dtmacgxstorys]

Ithaqua X Reader!

This is an Ithaqua X Gender Neutral Reader! (No Plan, Just Write!)

Note: Yes, More Ithaqua! I just Love Owl Boi! >//.//<

You & your friends head of a ruthless killer stalking in the nearby woods, It's also been unnaturally cold since the rumors started. You & your friends decide to spend some time in the woods, considering your family's wouldn't care if any of you went missing. You've been walking for a long while, going deeper in the dark, cold woods. "Why is it getting colder the deeper we go?" One of your friends asked. "Hey, Look, a house!" Another said, pointing in the direction of a small building. ".. guys, is that a lone gravestone?" Your 3ed friend asked, pointing to a small clearing. All 4 of you walk over to it, but you can't read what it says.

"Well, I say we go in the house and out of the cold." One friend said, and the another two follow. "I'll be in shortly." You say as you keel down to try to read headstone. "Who lived here, away from everyone?" You said before getting up & heading into the small house. When you get inside, your friends have already started to fire. "Hey, Y/N, come look at this cute guy in this picture!" "And I bet if we do see the killer, you'll probably think they are attractive as well." You say, rolling your eyes, walking over to them. You look down at the picture & blush a little.

The first night was uninventful. In the morning, the two friends who brought bow an arrow with them when out hunting. You & your friend when to get more wood, you feel like you're being watched. "Ok, *huf* I think this is enough for a week, lets go back." You help carry the wood back to the house. "... something doesn't feel really." You say. "We in the woods where serial killer might be hiding." Your friend says, continuing their way to the house. You put the wood in the house & say: "please stay here, i'm just gonna look around the house real quick." "oh, o-ok." You step outside, not even sure why you feel the need to look around.

You look up in one of the trees & you see an owl sleeping. You can't help but smile at the site. You were starting to relax until you hear your friends scream. "Shit!" You ran back into the house. "...well, I guess we didn't need to get as much wood as we did." "I know you said you were depressed, but how can you not care that one of our friends was just murdered?" "Because that's why we were!?" "...right." You say, shaking. You both hear another scream, but this time, it was closer to the house you two are in. "Sh-Shit! I-I d-don't w-w-want t-to die h-here!" You say. Your friend gets up & quickly says: "then go hide somewhere."

You run into a room into a room in the back of the house, it's a simple but nice-looking bedroom. You go into the closet & hide in the plile of old clothes. Just as you have yourself buried in the clothes, you hear the front door slam open. "Why must you have a mask? Afraid somebody might recognize you?" You hear two clicks & then the video of the kill. "Oh shut up, no one deserves to see my face." You hear a thud, you assume that was your friend's body hitting the floor. You hear a couple of clicks getting closer to you & then he says: "three, three, I know I saw four people come in here. Oh, where could you be?" You hear him slowly approaching where you are, but before he comes into the room you're in, you hear an owl cell out. "Umm, do you know something I don't, little one?" You hear him start leave. "Doesn't deserve to die you say? I know that you're older than I can understand, but really?" You hear the owl cell out before flying off. "Hehe well, I guess it's your luck day, you get to live an encounter with me, Ithaqua! hehahaha"

You hear the door closed, but you say in the pile of clothes, shaking, crying. You must have fallen asleep because you wake up on a couch in front of the fire. You quickly sit up. You hear something land on the back of the couch next to you. It's the owl you sew earlier. You reach your hand out to pet it & say: "oh, helo there!" It seems to like you petting it. "She's pretty, it's she?" You jumb & turn to the voice. You see a hooded man with a mask that kind of looks like an owl's face & the fake that his hood had existed fabric on it that looked like ears, he just looked more like an animal than a person. You move to the other end of the couch, away from him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." ".. y-you're the o-one w-who k-killed my f-friends?" "Oh, rrriiight, ..uummmn" He says, looking at the fire. "W-Why didn't you kill me?" "She doesn't want me to." He says, looking past you at the owl. You look at her. "Y-you can understand her?" He looks back at the fire. "Yes."

You pet her some more. "Thank you." There was a long & awkward silence. He brought the silence by asking: ".. are you hungry?" "Hamm? Um, a little." He gets up & heads to the kitchen. You decide to follow him. "... ssoooo, I'm Y/N, by the way." "Ummm, whatever darling." You can't help but blush hearing him cell you that. "*huph* so what's you making, Asshole?" "All I have right now is deer stakes, no fruits or vegetables. Is that ok with you, Y/N." Him saying your name made your heart skip a beat. "...uuummmm y-yeah." You say as you had to the table. The owl flys over the chair next to you. "She have a name?" "She wouldn't tell me & she doesn't want to be given one." "Oh." Is all you said as you petted her.

"So... why did you & your friends come into the woods?" He asked. "...um... we um.... our families don't care about us, we only had each other." ".hummm" "... was this place always been your home?" He pauses for a while. "...yes." You look out the window & you can see the headstone. "... do you want some water?" "Yes, thank you." "You're welcome." He says as he fills a class & brings it to you. You only take a couple of sips, waiting for him to be done cooking. Eventually, he brings you the plate of cooked deer meat & puts it in front of you, then sits across from you. "Thank you." "You're welcome. ... I just someone will see my face after all these years." He says as he pulls his mask off & his hood falls off as well. He's even more beautiful than the picture of him. "Hehe you know it's rude to stare, darling." You look away from him, taking a sip of your water. ".. you know, your not that bad to look at either." You almost choke on your water. "Haha I'm sorry, are you ok?" "*Cough* umhu y-yeah." You try to hide your face as you eat.

When you finish eating, he gets up, takes your dishes & cleans them. "Soo, where am I going to sleep?" "The room you were hiding in." "Oh, ok." You get up & start heading to the room. "Tired already?" He asked, walking over to you. "I-I uummm" "Why are you so nervous, darling?" He asked as a claw grazes you check. You shiver. He walks away from you, saying: "just so you know, that's my room, I won't try anything but, I will be in there to sleep later." "What!? Isn't there somewhere else I can sleep, I see another door and-" "Don't Go In That Room!" You jumbled. "Sorry, that was my mom's room, I want it left how it was." "Oh, ...ok." You say, going into his room. "Sweet dreams, Y/N!" You hear him cell to you before you start drifting off.

End!

It's 4:35am! 🫠

This feels more like a creepypasta fan fick than anything.

[aphroditelovesu]

Hii! This is anonymous for privacy reasons but I have a problem. I am a 15yo girl, I am gonna have a realy important exam this sunmer that will decide my entire future yet I only got 84% on the simulation from last month and I need to get at least over 93% on the actual exam at the end of the month or my life is screwed(I hate my school system). I have 0 motivation to study and ik I really need to but whenever I try to force mynself to actually study I just end up crying bc I feel like a failure. Also, I am bi and since my parents are conservative christians and EXTREAMLY homophobic they will deffinetly kick me out of the house if I came out to them and I think one of my friends who I belive might have found out about my sexuality will tell my parents(I also went thro a rough time due to bullying and told her about my suicidal toughts and she told everybody about it, teachers, parents, classmates and made fun of me). My country is one of the most homophobic ones.I feel like if I get a good mark on the exam I would be able to come out to my parents(maybe) without them killing me but idk how to make sure of either of thores things. I have worked this whole year yet nothing is enough to actually make me understand better. I am so tired rn and I cant stop crying, do you have any advise for me, please?

Hi!!

Well, I didn't expect to receive something like that, but I'll try to give my advice.

Regarding the exam, what I can tell you is not to give up and try to find a study system that helps you. I understand this because in November I have a very important government exam to take and I need to get a high score too. This will be my first year doing it (and I hope it will be my last) and I haven't started studying yet because I have classes in the morning and at night, which means I don't have much time left.

From what you say, you seem to be stressed about all this, so studying is more complicated. What I can tell you is to try to find a place where you feel comfortable and find a study method that helps you. Studying is tiring and we often don't have motivation, I know, but it's necessary and remember that knowledge is something that no one can take away from you.

Since you live with your parents, there isn't much you can do about your "friend" issue. No one has the right to force someone to come out of the closet and that is very wrong. You could try talking to her, to make sure she doesn't say it until you're ready to say it. Unfortunately, this is out of your control, as it will depend on whether your "friend" is a decent person and lets you talk when you're ready.

Having homophobic parents is a complicated thing and I feel for you, especially when it involves religion. The question is: do you want to tell them you're bi? Do you think you're ready for this? If the answer is no, don't tell them until you want to. It's important to feel prepared.

I'm sorry about the bullying issue. I know how difficult it is, I dealt with it myself from the age of 8 until I was 16 but I had support from my family and friends. If not even your teachers are willing to help you, perhaps you should seek outside help. I don't know how it works in other countries, but here, if the school refuses to help, you can file a police report. Bullying is a crime, anon.

And remember to take care of yourself and put yourself first. I know it's difficult and it seems like the end of the world, but it's not. Things will get better, anon, even if it seems like they won't, they will. Have strength and focus on what is important to you now.

I can't be of much help, unfortunately, but I really hope things get better for you and that you get the grade you want! 🥰

[passionateseadruid]

Snake King’s Bride 8

Holiday havoc part 2

Notes:

Warning! This chapter has talk of sensitive topics such as very dubious consent! Read at your own risk!

You felt… numb.

Why did it have to happen this way. Here you were laying in the aftermath of last night, laying in a pool of your own tears. Claw marks littered the headboard. His scent engulfed you. And after everything he’d left you to deal with the aftermath on your own.

"What's the point of any of this? Why don't we just go down to Vegas and fucking elope? He's already ruined my life. He's taken my best friend and family away from me. And now… now he's taken the one thing I had left."

"Ma'am?" A voice came from the open door. It was Styx, they looked concerned, and very very nervous.

"Styx!" You pulled the cover up to your neck. They sighed and walked into the closet and after a few seconds they walked out with a huge robe. They gently sit next to you and pulled the robe around you. "You don't have to." You insisted.

"Please don't make this difficult ma'am."

"You really shouldn't. I'm sure Lucifer doesn't pay you nearly enough to deal with his bullshit." You smiled half joking, at least trying to make yourself feel better.

"He doesn't pay me at all." They mumbled turning towards the door, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"What?"

"It's... complicated. I can't work anywhere else. So in exchange for eternal service he gifts me the comfiest clothes and feeds me the finest foods and keeps a very expensive roof over my head." They explained.

"More like an unpayable debt over your head." You mumbled and scoffed it off.

"His highness has asked that I accompany you to the shopping center today to pick out presents for his party next week. The gift from Mr. Fizzarolli came in last night. I'm a bit confused why it was already wrapped inside but I'll not push it." Styx bowed and lead you into the closet.

"Thanks. Hey do you know who I have to get gifts for? I assume I have to get one for Charlie. Should I get one for Renesme and Nina? Do I get one for you?"

"You have one for Lucifer. You'll need one for Princess Charlie, each of the other 6 deadly sins, you'll probably want one for Mr. Fizzarolli, Miss Bee's boyfriend will not be joining us this year, and the rest of the sins do not have dates for the evening. It should just be you and Mr. Fizzarolli."

"Alright! Let's get going!" You walked out of the closet. You dressed in a black jumper and a dark gray and light gray striped shirt underneath.

Styx took your hand and they grabbed their necklace. A portal opened before you and you two stepped through and into a desolate corner of the mall.

"Wow." You smiled at them excitedly. 

"Yeah um, His- his majesty gave me a magic crystal to teleport around Hell."

"Speaking of Lucifer how long have you been working for him."

"Oh goodness. Since Princess Charlie was young. I was practically the one who raised her. Lilith was to busy singing and flirting and fighting with His Highness. She'd insist that the princess shouldn't be around him because he's self destructive but she wouldn't put in the work to raise her daughter."

"So... speaking of Lilith. She is or was human right?"

"Correct."

"So Charlie is half human. Did she..."

Styx seemed to pick up on what you were trying to ask. "Princess Charlie was a menace during her adolescent years. She threw a box of feminine products at her father. Then she started going out with the son of her fathers former closest friend to spite him. She also went through the emo phase after the two of them broke up." They laughed.

You smiled at them. "It's nice to see you so emotional for once instead of so stoic."

You two walked around the mall trying to find things for your friends (and the other people you were obligated to buy gifts for). First you went to a jewelry store and bought pink and purple ‘hers and hers’ flower necklaces for Renesme and Nina. You may not know them all that well but you do know that the two of them love each other. You ended up getting some rose gold designer sunglasses for Fizz. Nina walked around getting gifts for the other sins for you. You didn't care what Styx got for the Sins. You were more focused on what to get for Pluto and Styx. You decided to play it safe and Pluto a paper $100 gift card to any store in hell. If it’s not clear you’re just giving her a 100 bucks.

"Hey Styx since we're here what would you like."

"Oh! Ma'am, you don't have to get me anything."

"Please? I really want to get you something as a way to thank you for all the nice work you do."

"Ma'am that's… really not necessary." They stared at you as you gave them the puppy dog eyes. "Fine, if you don't mind I'd really like some knitting needles and yarn. I could make you something in return." They smiled.

"Styx…" you put your hands on their shoulders. "I'm not Lucifer. This isn't a transactional thing. Do whatever you want with them but please remember that this is your gift not mine." You gently smiled and took their hand.

////////////////////////////////////////

As the party started and guests started to poor in you smoothed out your dress. It was mainly white but it cinched up in places around the skirt to show of the red petticoat underneath. The bodice was a Queen Anne neckline and there was some red accents on the sleeves.

First to show was unsurprisingly Satan as he was the closest Sin to the pride ring and to the King of Hell in general. Then surprisingly Ozzie and Fizz showed up next. After that Bee dragged Belphy through the door, her legs under Bee’s arms, kinda like sadness and Joy from Inside Out. And then Mammon showed up. And finally Levi made a grand entrance.

"Okay everyone is here, I'm going to go get some food." Before you could listen to Lucifer’s protests you had rushed to the living room where the reception was being held. As you looked through the snack bar you felt someone bump into you someone tall.

"Sorry." Your eyes went wide. There is only one person who'd apologize in hell. You turned around and say Charlie smiling at you. "Hey! I didn't see you in the Foyer. Dad said you ran off to get a snack. Merry Sinsmas." She walked away.

You weren't expecting Charlie to be at the party.

"This is bad." You froze.

"Hm? what do you mean?" Fizz asked. You could hardly understand him with the fudge he was stuffing into his mouth though.

You pulled him away from the living and into the butlers pantry. You let him go and slammed the door to get some privacy and started to rub the anxiety out of your temples.

"Woah! Hey! Look you're cute but I don't swing that way."

"Please for one second could we not joke about this. I'm less than 30 minutes away from dying at the hands of my Naughter." You whisper yelled. Moving from your temples to the crick in your neck. You could feel your pulse beating irregularly.

"What?"

"My Naughter. Because she's Not my Daughter."

"Yet." He shoved the last bit of fudge from his plate into his mouth. "While I'm in here you don't mind if I raid your guys chip stash do you?"

"Go ahead. It's his anyway. I don't care what you do with it." You leaned forward onto one of the bottom cabinets. He stretched his robotic arms up and sifted through the upper cabinets.

"They might not be yours yet but after tonight they probably will be. Tonight is the night that Charlie will finally come to see you as a new parental figure. Either that or she'll straight up kill you for disrespecting her dad." You felt your pulse pick up as sweat dripped down your neck. You wanted to run, wanted to scream, wanted to cry. "Mmh mmh! These are delicious! Sorry, Mammon doesn't let me snack even when I'm off his dime. Ozzie on the other hand practically mother birds food down my throat."

"Have your fill. At least one of the last things I'll see is my friend being truly happy. Doing what he wants to do."

Fizz stopped munching down the chips and looked you in the eyes. "Listen. The little princess might be upset but she's known for being the sweetest most forgiving being in Hell. I'm sure if you just explained to her that he kidnapped you-."

"And kinda forced himself on me." You admitted, cutting Fizz off.

"He did what?" His eyes were like saucers.

"Well… kinda? I mean… it's complicated. We were at a party with my family and then I got mad at him because he was traumatizing my niece and nephews and then I wanted to break off this engagement and I thought maybe I could get away while I was on earth. Then he appeared through my fireplace and was absolutely ready to murder my family so I made a deal with him that if he didn't hurt my family he could do whatever he wanted to me."x

"Firstly, that explains what Ozzie meant when he said something off handedly about you and the king getting frisky. Secondly, Red that's blackmail. There is no black and white to this situation. There is a clear and present danger in your life." He squeezed your shoulders and used his contact name for you.

"Yeah and right now it's name is Charlie Morningstar. She's going to kill me."

"Look everything’s going to be fine. I'll talk to Ozzie after the party about seeing if you can stay with us for a while. I'm here for you, everything is going to be okay." Fizz hugged you. You found yourself falling into his warm embrace, and for the first time in hell… you cried. You wrapped your arms around his skinny body so tight it felt like he was going to pop. You were safe. If only for a moment.

////////////////////////////////////////

"Froggy! Where are you?" A voice called.

"Shit!" Fizz whispered in a sacred tone. "It's Ozzie. Dry your tears and stay in here okay?" Fizz opened the door right as Asmodeus was opening it from the other side. "Hi Oz."

"I thought you already came out of the closet?" Oz teased. "Hey lil hen!" He looked over to you, and took Fizz's hand.

"That's new." You remarked and followed behind them.

"Well female ducks are called Hens." Oz smiled at you.

…

"Oo! Looks like we're just in time for the end of the presents." Oz informed you both. They must've started early because you know that you and Fizz weren't in the pantry for half an hour.

"Aw. A wreath for the hotel! How thoughtful." Charlie smiled at your gift.

"Honey come here I want to hug you once I see what you got me."

"I'm good where I am." You said with a slight tremble in your voice. Charlie frowned and Furrowed her brow.

Lucifer opened the box and his face fell when he saw what it was. "You got me a white dildo, bedazzled with the words go fuck yourself written on it." And Go Fuck Yourself is in all capital letters too.

"Yep." You felt like you were going to pass out.

"That's disgusting." Charlie glared at you.

"To be fair I was going to get him a single sock instead but I couldn’t find anywhere that sold one sock and I didn't want to throw away money and throw away a sock."

"Can you please have a little more class than that? You're going to be the queen of Hell soon."

"Oh yes because if Hell's known for anything it's there upstanding citizens."

"Those are my people!"

"No, they're not! Your people are currently being treated like chew toys for the amusement of the rich. Your people are being abused and unfairly paid, sometimes not even being paid, while you and your father are profiting from their pain. Your people are the Imps and the Hellhound, and all the other Hellborn. Why is it that everyone in this room out ranks me in terms or raw power and/or social status and yet, I'm the only one who has actually done something for the Imps. So I restate what's on this dildo here. Both of you can go FUCK yourselves! After all the pain I’ve been through for the past 4 months, I’ve had enough! Good night and I hope you have a Merry Fucking Sinsmas!"