#& Now I'm really scared of re-watching the Second Film

[the-indie-owl]

Does anyone else get that Unfortune Feeling that maybe the Writers who worked on "Rio 2" weren't smart enough to expand more on Blu and Jewel's relationship the right way and now people are ending up gonna doing some Math?

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 18: Ranking Halloweens

Have done literally nothing today so, some more on Halloween.

Now that I've watched all 13 and thought about them some more, and let my opinions sort of settle in my mind, I have some overall thoughts about which are the best and worst, and generally how I would rank them.

Outside of the best and worst, ranking is really hard because they're so different, they cover such a long time span, and each one is so very much a product of its time. Most of the Halloween movies I think work best in their context: both the context of horror at the time they were made and the context of the franchise as a whole. Some of them might not be good movies particularly, but they are interesting as time capsules or as part of the overall progression of the franchise.

In other words, there are clear best and worst entries, in my opinion, but not a clear 1-13 or even 1-12 ranking, if you're just including the Myers-Halloweens.

The Best:

Halloween (1978): No explanation needed. Even the best of the subsequent films just proved that the original is deceptively simple, basically a perfect slasher horror film.

Halloween: H20: Not a controversial opinion as far as I can tell. I loved that this film was not afraid to lose some of the 'fundamental Halloween elements,' like Loomis or Haddonfield, because it still understood the franchise enough to feel like a Halloween film in some x-factor way. This is the best interpretation of Laurie after 1978 (/1981 I guess), and it's also just honestly a fun film to watch on its own.

Halloween (2018): I'm a little uncertain of putting this as my #3 because I do have mixed feelings about it in some ways. Maybe I'm ranking it high because it's a competent horror film in the 'modern' (current) horror style. I do have criticisms of it but I think it was effective overall.

Halloween III: Spirit of the Witch: This isn't really #4, it's more of an unranked entry, because I really don't think I can compare a non-Myers Halloweens to the others. But it was one of my overall favorites, especially upon some reflection. People who consider it the worst or one of the worst are just mad it's not a slasher. Seen on its own terms--a weird 80s sci-fi horror--it's quite interesting and effective.

The Worst:

Halloween Ends: I might push this down to second-worst upon some more reflection or a re-watch but I'm still big-mad about this. In a way, I'm glad it was made because it helps me reflect on what defines a Halloween franchise movie. I felt viscerally that this wasn't it, but I need to think more about precisely why. At any rate, ending ("ending") the franchise with a movie that is so depressing, so lacking in scares of any sort, and so lacking in the pivotal franchise lead, leaves me with a terribly bad taste.

Halloween: Resurrection: Not scary, rarely funny, no memorable characters, and a scream queen whose screams had to be re-dubbed. The best thing about this is how VERY 2002 it is. It's interesting to see this mashup of millennium-era movie tropes with Halloween-franchise elements. But is it a good film? No. Not really in any respect.

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers: The pinnacle of cliche, bloated, slasher stereotype horror. Unnecessarily muddled lore and the introduction of weird and out-of-place elements. A film that understood that the franchise was becoming just another series of generic slasher entries, but tried to solve that problem with elements from other types of horror--cult, sci-fi--that simply did not fit. Full of characters I care nothing about. Terrible to Jamie Lloyd.

The middle:

I think of the other films--Halloween II, Halloween 4, Halloween 5, Halloween 2007, Halloween II 2009, and Halloween Kills--I liked Halloweens 4 and 5 the best. I look back on them the most fondly. They do that suburban-Halloween aesthetic probably the best of all the sequels, and give the best overall sense of Haddonfield as a community. I really do have a fondness for Jamie. And their biggest flaws are that they are sort of generic-80s-slashers. But it's not the 80s anymore, and so even that gives them a sort of... retro-sheen.

I can see why people often rank Halloween II very high, because it's probably the most similar to Halloween I. But I still find it a sharp drop off, too sequel-y, too full of more: more blood, more kills, more sex. It is all right. But I just can't love it.

The Rob Zombie Halloweens... I really don't know what else to say about them other than they are exactly what you would expect if you put Rob Zombie and Halloween together. I didn't hate them. But I felt like a lot of 2007 was pretty useless and 2009...got points in my book for at least being unique, but was also...meh, kind of weird and had too many mommy issues.

Halloween Kills was okay but I think again it was just rather unimportant. I watched it a couple of weeks ago and it's mostly disappeared from my memory already. I think I would have to watch it again/think about it some more before I can really come up with an opinion because mostly I feel ambivalence.

[artisplatters]

Okay, now that I've calmed down enough that I no longer am trembling with excitement, let me give a more in-depth review of the Five Nights at Freddy's film

I will be talking of a few spoilers, so I'm gonna put it under a cut, but the basic review is:

4.5 stars; excellent experience

The cut is in place, and from now on it's spoiler territory, you've been warned

.

.

.

Fear Elements:

First of all, it has very minimal gore, which was surprising to me given what the film is about, but it's not minimal in the negative way. Any depictions of gore were well-placed to drive home the sense of horror in our characters, and any of the acts of horror were heard off-screen, rather than shown.

And this is a masterful use of our imagination, because what we see in our mind's eye can be infinitely more terrifying than anything they could make.

And yes, there were jump scares aplenty, but they weren't used excessively. Like a fine dash of salt, except, y'know, jump scares.

Also, there is not a "We Are Fnaf" type scene, further cementing my theory that the picture of Mike and Abby in the parking lot with the animatronics is simply a behind-the-scenes image. The closest we get to such a scene is when Abby is playing with the animatronics and building a fort, which makes sense since they're just kids, dead kids but kids nonetheless.

Props + Set:

Everything looks like it was pulled right out of the first game, I am not even kidding. The animatronics especially.

The classic tile, the posters, the way the stages were set up. Its like they used the blueprints of the game vers. of the pizzeria. Plus, many of the "prize booths" and such seemed to use actual irl merch items such as the iconic plushies and some T-shirts.

Specifically on the animatronics: They looked incredible, as if they were the real, original things come to life. The Jim Henson's Creature Shop did an excellent job re-creating them down to the delicate detailing. Even they way they move feels authentic to how they'd really move.

Cinematography:

The cinematography of when animatronics go after characters heavily reflects the games, another excellent execution. The angling of hallway shots, rooms, etc. all feel somewhat like we watch them through the security cameras.

In fact, there's several scenes where we literally watch through the security cameras, on the security monitors of the iconic office. And speaking of watching through the cameras, the positioning is identical to the games, as if it were the exact footage in higher quality. The use of flickering lighting to have the animatronics appear and disappear is identical too, and incredibly done.

Storyline:

More specifically, the differences.

Our main C is Mike, obviously, but his sister Abby still lives, and he's raising her on his own. The premise of why he takes the job is so he can support her and avoid losing custody of her to their aunt (Who Fully Radiates Karen Energy).

Vanessa (yes indeed that Vanessa) is a main character too, and enters into the limelight by the second night. She guides Mike and repeatedly gives hints and suggestions for him to leave, and is revealed towards the end of the film to be Afton's daughter, a surprise twist as up until this point we're lead to believe that Mike is the child, for obvious reasons.

Hopes that became Reality:

MATPAT WAS IN IT, HE MAKES A CAMEO AS A WAITER ABOUT MID-MOVIE, I NEARLY YELLED IN THE THEATRE WHEN HE APEARED AND I PROBABLY BRUISED MY DAD'S SHOULDER SHAKING HIM IN EXCITEMENT

There were also so many other amazing cameos, like CoryxKenshin being a taxi driver, and Baz, 8-BitRyan, Dawko, Razzbowski, and FusionZGamer are cameo'd as "Employee of the Month" photos.

(I am disappointed Markiplier didn't get a cameo but he's a busy guy working on another amazing horror-game-movie)

THE SPRINGLOCK SCENE IS IN IT AND IT'S PRETTY DAMN ACCURATE TO HOW IT WOULD'VE GONE DOWN, Not as gory but his yells are quickly cut off as the springlocks click into place, AND MR AFTON SAYS THE LINE! HE SAYS "I ALWAYS COME BACK" BEFORE THE SPRINGLOCKS GET TO HIS THROAT

THE LIVING TOMBSTONE'S "Five Nights at Freddy's" IS THE FIRST SONG IN THE CREDIT SEQUENCE, I ACTUALLY YELLED FOR THAT ONE, I accidentally startled an elderly couple in the row in front of us too lol, BUT THEY'RE IN THE FILM! THE SONG! IS IN THE MOVIE!!!!!!! OH!!! MY GODS!!!!!! EUGHFYTREHIWSEHFCERWYIFUCK

Not Really Movie-Specific:

I wore a purple-guy cosplay to the film, which consists of:

Black Sneaker x2

Black Slacks x1

Purple Button-Up x1

Costume Cop Hat x1

And I looked pretty fantastic if I say so myself.

A really pretty lady in a Foxy cosplay complimented my look on the way out of the theatre. We talked about the film for a minute before she had to go. If I hadn't been in shock and amazement by the film and by her complimenting me I may have asked for her number. Probably a good thing I didn't though. But yeah. Gorgeous nerd complimented me. Me! What an amazing day.

The theatre we went to was one of those fancy dine-in experiences, so obviously I got a mini pep. pizza to feast upon during the film. We were also brought a candy assortment bag that neither of us ordered so I got free candy too.

All in all, it was an amazing experience. I'm so glad I stayed around to see it lmao. So many people and references and such were lovingly added, like an allude to the Circus Baby animatronic, and a Balloon Boy figurine that was a little creep the entire film despite not being haunted.

I just know I'm gonna be rewatching it again and again for the next several weeks. And as soon as I can figure out how to redownload my art program I am gonna create So Much Fanart™

FNAF AT FREDDYS

THATS WHERE I WANNA BE

FNAF AT FREDDYYYYSSSSSSSSSS

[absolutebl]

How do you feel about the potential for a second season of Semantic Error? I adored it but actually, I think it was perfect as it was and ended in a really good place… admittedly I prefer to watch the build up to a relationship (enemies to lovers, all that pining, flirting and tension!) and don’t really need to see further to be satisfied. What do you think? (I know we probably won’t get one anyway given his military service)

Semantic Error Second Season?

I hope we don't get one.

I honestly think the fan fervor of demanding second seasons is a bit... what? Childish, maybe? Rushed? Smacking of desperation for new stimulus? Emotional endorphin addiction? I don't know.

There's an art to appreciating the thing you got as a whole experience without having to demand more. Like a perfect piece of rich chocolate cake. It's okay just to have the one. Any more than that and you'll make yourself sick, and possibly even put yourself off chocolate for a while.

But I'm a chronic rewatcher, so I get my endorphin re-hits that way. I don't need the same characters in something new, I am happy with the now familiar over and over again.

I love Semantic Error exactly as it stands.

The problem with a 2nd season is, always, they may taint the magic of the first.

From a purely BL production perspective, before To My Star 2* & Color Rush 2 I would have said highly unlikely. But now, I don't know.

Statistically Korean BL doesn't do many 2nd seasons, with those 2 named above excepted. (Not even for their big name het dramas. Hospital Playlist, maybe Uncanny Counter, probubly Squid Games but that's about it.)

There's something else to consider with Semantic Error. Because of the heat content featuring idols, I don't think anyone involved is going to be quite ready for the fan obsession and insanity that has resulted. Particularly internationally. That might will work against a season 2.

Finally (as you said), Park Seo Ham is doing his mandatory military service right TF now, so he's off focused on that while all this craycray goes down. Which means...

1we have to wait until he gets out for them to even start filming (that's what, 2 years plus production time, so give it 3 years or so)

he's going to emerge into a world that thinks and treats him very differently from when he went in

or we will all have forgotten about Semantic Error by then because 3 years at this rate means Korea will have produced approx 3000 more BLs.

Okay, I exaggerate, hold on let me calculate... they are up to about 16 a year, let's assume they keep increasing production and call it, 60 or so.

Korea clearly knows what it's doing. So we are bound to get more, perhaps not as good, but certainly close. People have very short attention spans.

* TMS is an interesting case since they are both established actors who've already served. One could argue they know what they are in for on all fronts. Also it's a more indie production. First time around everyone had a lot of fun and it was an unexpected hit. I think that's mostly why they agreed to do a season 2.

Thanks for the ask!

More?

BL - The Second Coming - Your favorite BL is getting a second season! Should you be scared or excited? Let's look at data.

[early20sfailingplenty]

.

Online university is so fucking lonely. I sit by myself in my bedroom all day every day just working. Most days, I get all the social interaction I need by being on here and talking to people and I adore it so, so much, but late at night when it's just me re-watching a film I've seen 123456789 times before or doing some writing to give myself and others some comfort or whatever else I'm trying to capture, it cuts deeply that I can't just... go out and meet up with the friends I have on here. I also never feel like I'm enough for myself; I can study for three hours or eight, and I will still feel like I'm not doing enough, like I'm inadequate. I'm tired of not being enough for myself; it's so toxic because I would never put on anyone else the expectations I have for me (always working, never stopping), but then when I can't do it because I'm not a robot, I beat myself up about it and it just makes everything worse. My self-expectations are so high it's toxic and I'm trying to work on being kinder to myself, but it's not easy.

When my job starts at the beginning of next month, I'm gonna hate being made to spend time with people and I'll miss my bedroom every second I'm not in it, which goes to show how much my world had shrunk into just these four walls. Even other rooms in my parent's house don't feel comfortable. My world has shrunk to a single room and I know how bad that is, but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't financially afford to move out, I don't have any friends in real life (as in, off social media) because I never maintained the very shaky connections I made in sixth form college or high school (I was bullied by my peers for roughly fifteen years just for being myself and because of that and general social awkwardness, I've never felt like I fit in anywhere except online fandom spaces, because I don't have to watch body language or try to figure out how people mean things and I can just be me without having to worry about those things or how I'm coming across), I don't really connect to my family either... it's just me. Alone in my room. All day every day.

Most days, that's exactly how I like it.

But some days, like today, it makes me scared that I've fucked my entire life by creating this strange kind of echo chamber where it's just me myself and I. I have to study and it takes hours every day and I love it because it's something I'm passionate about (I'm doing a psychology with counselling degree because my goal and genuine want in life is to love and to help people) and when my job starts, it'll be a similar commitment which I have to juggle and it's gonna be hard and exhausting and I'm barely gonna be in my room, at least compared to right now. I know how unhealthy this is, I do, I'm well aware of it... sometimes it's like watching myself out of someone else's eyes and recognising red flags and bad traits and things to correct myself on, but I can't do anything about this from a point of realistic goals. I have student debts and a part time job and a full time university course, family issues and money issues and with everything going on, it seems almost impossible to make any actual changes... especially because I'm not sure I want to.

When my job starts properly, I'll still be lonely even though I'll be out of the house and interacting with people more often. I'll still be getting upset at night because the people I enjoy interacting with are on the other side of the world and when I have to sleep, they're going to be awake and I won't be able to interact with them "live". I'll still be alone in my room, even with flowers in my heart and all my uwus dropped because of people here being so damn nice but I have to go to bed and it's not something I wanna do; I'd happily stay up every night 'til 4am so I can spend time with my mutuals but my lifestyle won't allow that in just over a week and I hate it. My mutuals are the best and please know if I say I miss you or I'm thinking of you, I mean it. 🥺💜

There's something not right with me and idk what the proper terms for it are, but I do know that this blog is my therapy, in a way (something else I can't realistically afford lmfao). I write to soothe the wounds I carry, to comfort others, to give me beautiful and terrifying things to think about and fall asleep dreaming of, to connect with others and to show the parts of me I don't know how else to voice without using metaphors.

[one-boring-person]

You Two, Outside, Now

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: bad language

A/n: Happy New Year! Thank you to everyone who has shown me any support this year, it's meant a lot!😊💛

Requested By: @theghostof-myndi

Masterlist

David should've expected things to go badly, he really should've. 

A few weeks ago, (Y/n) had asked them to come to her's for New Year, so that they could celebrate together, and, obviously, he'd readily agreed. Of course, he'd briefed the other boys on how to behave, particularly Marko and Paul, who were already sharing cunning smirks when they first heard her ask them, though it was highly unlikely that they actually listened to him. Watching them now, he really should've known better.

Marko and Paul have made it their duty to subtly mess with the poor girl, who is currently sandwiched between the two of them as they all watch a movie together. The two of them each have a hand on her, one on her thigh, the other on her shoulder, the vampires leaning in to mutter and whisper things into her ears as the film plays out, uneasy giggles leaving her every now and then as she acknowledges them to stop them from continuing. From his spot on the armchair across from them, David can easily hear the daft and sometimes lewd things that are said, some of them so bad that he has to bite back growls of outrage.

Dwayne shoots him a look as one particularly inappropriate thing is said, the brunette clearly trying to communicate something to his friend. Having known him long enough to know what he means, David nods at him tightly and gestures for him to do what needs to be done.

"So, (Y/n), shall we have dessert now?" The tall vampire asks pleasantly, smiling at her as she sighs gratefully.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I'll go get it." She says, attempting to climb off of the sofa, only to be pulled back into the embrace of the other two, who whine in displeasure.

"I'll come with you." Dwayne proposes, standing from his seat and helping her from the clutches of the other vampires.

David watches as they leave the room, before getting up and stalking over to the two vampires on the sofa, grabbing them both by the lapels and pulling them upright. 

"What did I tell you about behaving?" He practically spits at them,  jerking them roughly to convey his anger.

The two exchange amused glances, the both of them bursting into laughter at the sight of their leader basically fuming from their actions.

"We are behaving." Paul chuckles, giving David a false look of innocence.

"Yeah, I don't know why you're so angry, man." Marko chimes in, biting his thumb as he lifts it to his lips.

"You know full well what you're doing. Cut it out, or there'll be consequences." The platinum blonde growls, shoving them away from him and going to sit back down again.

The sound of footsteps coming down the hall interrupts the three of them, the approach of (Y/n) and Dwayne not going unnoticed by the two mischievous vampires, who share a single glance. 

"Don't you dare try anything." David snarls at them, his blood boiling when Paul ignores him and goes to stand behind the door, giggling quietly to himself. 

Standing again, David moves to intercept him, hoping to hell that Dwayne is coming through first, another growl escaping him as he watches the next few seconds play out.

Irritated, he has to fight the urge to drag Paul out by the ear as he watches the tall vampire jump out at the unsuspecting girl as she walks into the room, the painstakingly prepared dessert in her hands going flying as she jumps in shock. With a loud crash, the plate of food smashes to the floor, chocolate and cream spreading everywhere even as the shattered pieces of ceramic from the plate do the same. 

A tense silence descends on them, no one making a sound as all eyes are focused on this new mess. David can feel his anger quickly mounting, his eyes flashing yellow in fury. This only increases as he then becomes aware of the sniggering of Paul and Marko as they attempt to laugh it off. (Y/n) has yet to move, but David can tell that she's struggling to cope with whatever reaction is trying to get out.

"You two, outside, now." David barely hears himself speak, his quiet voice laced with angered authority.

Expressions becoming serious, Paul and Marko finally seem to come to the realisation of what they've actually done, the former going to speak, trying to apologise. He doesn't get that far, the two vampires suddenly finding themselves being dragged from the room by their ears as David strides forwards and takes control of the situation. Going to the backdoor, he opens it and throws the two of them out, following the stumbling vampires as they struggle to right themselves.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He snaps at them, getting into their faces as he lets  his eyes flash yellow again, his fangs pushing at his gums.

"We're sorry, David, we didn't mean for it to get that far-" Marko starts, biting his thumb nervously, doe eyes wide.

"Didn't mean for it to get that far?! I told you not to be like that! I wanted this to work out for (Y/n) like it should do, but instead you two have gone and fucked it all up! Why can't you just take a night off pissing me off for once? Why?!" David yells at them, feeling his frustrations coming through in his tone as they cower back from him.

"We're sorry, man-" Paul goes to interject, apparently guilty for once.

"It's not me you should be apologising to! It's (Y/n)'s New Year you've ruined!" 

Neither of them say anything, keeping their eyes trained on the floor in shame, waiting for David to continue his tirade.

"Go back in there and apologise to her! And if you don't stop behaving like kids, I'll personally take a stake and drive it through your kneecap repetitively for a month!" He threatens them, gesturing for them to go back inside, 

Swallowing, the two quickly re-enter the house, followed by a bristling David, going to the lounge, where they find Dwayne and (Y/n) cuddling on the sofa, the latter looking up at them as they walk in. Under the watchful eyes of their leader, the vampires take turns apologising.

"I'm sorry for messing around with you, (Y/n), I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." Marko goes first, his hand moving up as if to bite his thumb, only to think better of it.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry for scaring you and making you drop the plate. I only meant to make you jump a little, which in hindsight is pretty stupid anyway, so I'm very sorry." Paul adds, rubbing the back of his neck.

(Y/n) regards them for a moment, before a smile breaks out on her face.

"It's ok, you're both forgiven, on the condition that you clear up the mess you made." She points at the fallen dessert on the floor with a grin, winking at David knowingly.

Paul and Marko are quick to run and find cleaning stuff, leaving Dwayne, (Y/n) and David alone. Smirking, the girl turns to look at them both.

"It's like raising two adult toddlers." She remarks.

David scoffs.

"Tell me about it."

[inadaydream99]

Hey darling, can I request a SKZ reaction to their crush protecting them from another member (scolding/teasing/etc.). And I loved the other reaction you made 😘 (and beezus, I just send crush requests, I'm so "creative" 👌)

Hey! Thank you for requesting 😁 sorry this has taken so long, I’ve been ill so haven’t been writing much. I really hope you enjoy these scenarios, and also, I always enjoy writing crush requests so don’t worry! I appreciate any request 😁

Chan

You rushed into the kitchen with fear evident on your face as Minho stalks into the room behind you looking very angry. Chan’s focus diverts from his phone onto the scene in front of him. As confusion takes over his face, you run around him and attempt to hide. You could have run anywhere, but your first instinct was to find Chan, after all, you have a crush on him and like it when he sticks up for you against the others.

“Stop runing away! Seriously, can you not act like a child for one minute.” Minho practically growls at you, his eyes narrowed onto your small frame attempting to shield yourself from being scolded.

“What’s going on?” Chan asks Minho with his brows furrowed.

“(Y/N) has taken my phone charger.” Minho rolls his eyes, huffing as you begin to laugh at how amusing his reaction is, although he is a little scary.

“Why did you take Minho’s charger?” Chan sighs as he turns to face you.

“Because I asked to borrow it and he said no. My phone has no battery.” You defend yourself.

“Minho, let (Y/N) charge her phone will you? Stop being so stubborn.” Chan laughs as Minho grumbles and walks away in a mood.

“There, he won’t be bothering you now.” Chan smirks, finding the situation entertaining.

“Thank you.” You softly speak as you look down to try and hid your blush.

Woojin

“Stop!” You whine as you bury your face into Woojin’s chest in embarrassment.

The guys had been teasing you relentlessly because you are clumsy and tripped over your own feet, grazing your knee.

“Hey guys- ahhhh!” Hyunjin mimicks you as he overdramatically re-enacts your clumsy enterance from earlier. Everyone laughs in hysterics which only heightens your embarrassment more.

You were especially affected because it happened right in front of Woojin. You have had a huge crush on him for a while and the fact that you tripped up in front of him was bad enough. Now that your friends were teasing you for it in front of him was even worse.

“Hey, it’s getting old now. I think you’ve teased (Y/N) enough now.” Woojin suddenly cuts in, Hyunjin instantly stopping his actions and everyone becoming silent as you feels Woojin’s hand soothingly rub your back.

You feel heat race to your face at him sticking up for you and you peer up to look at him. When you meet his eyes he gives you a subtle smile and nod you let you know it’s ok. The small gesture making butterflies erupt in your stomach as you return the warm smile.

Minho

Seungmin has been trying his best to annoy you all day, he was just in one of those moods where he wouldn’t stop until you gave him the reaction he was looking for.

You had resorted to joining Minho on the sofa, both watching the random film that was on tv, too lazy to change the channel, when Seungmin decided to grace you with his presence once again.

“Go get a room.” Seungmin retorts with a snicker, a smirk on his face as he sits beside you. You chose to ignore him, your eyes not moving from the tv. It’s not like his comment was actually pointing out anything, you weren’t even cuddling Minho. Seungmin just knew about your crush on him and really enjoys getting you flustered.

“You should just admit your feelings and go out already. It’s so obvious you like each other.” Seungmin continues to poke when he gets no responce. At this Minho huffs, clearly becoming agitated by being interrupted.

“Seungmin, remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.” Minho turns his attention from the tv to narrow his eyes at the younger, a challenging glint to them, as he moves to place his arm over your shoulder and pull you into his side.

You sneakily peer up at Minho, as Seungmin leaves the room, to find him already watching you. His previously pissed expression melting into a soft one as a small smile appears on his face.

Changbin

Changbin was annoyed because you had come to him after Jisung had been teasing you. Now, Changbin wasn’t only annoyed at Jisung for teasing you, it’s also because you refused to tell Changbin what you were being teased about.

“How can I help you if you won’t tell me?” Changbin irritatedly asks you. You look away from him becoming flushed at the situation. You knew he would find out in one way or another so you might as well give in and tell him yourself.

“It’s because I like you, Jisung finds it funny when I become all flustered.” You mumble, your head hanging low. You don’t want to see Changbins reaction, you have been embarrassed enough as it is, you don’t need rejection on top of that too.

Before you realise what is happening, you are being led into the kitchen (where everyone is happily talking together) by Changbin, your eyes widening in shock when you hear Changbin speak.

“Ok, let’s make this clear now. I like (Y/N) and (Y/N) likes me. Now it’s out in the air, no more teasing.” Changbin states in front of everyone, sending Jisung a look so he knows it’s mainly directed at him. All you can do is stare at Changbin in surprise as a wide smile overtakes your face.

Hyunjin

“You owe me.” Woojin flatly states as he stands in front of you with his arms folded across his chest.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it was that important.” You softly apologise, you’re voice weak as you try not to show how upset you are.

It’s not like you meant to tell Hyunjin about Woojin’s secret. He’s your best friend and you tell him everything. You might have also told him because you have a crush on him. You just love to see him smile and the puppy expression he begged you with was too cute to say no to.

“Woojin, it’s my fault. I was the one who begged (Y/N) to tell me cause I thought she was hiding something from me. Be mad at me instead.” Hyunjin confesses, getting Woojin to turn his attention away from glaring at you.

“Hyunjin it’s-”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to cover for me.” Hyunjin cuts you off, sending you a look to tell you to keep quiet.

You feel your heart swell from Hyunjin saving you like that. The fact he would take the blame and have to face an angry Woojin only makes you like him more. In that moment he became your knight in shining armour.

Jisung

“Would you just be quiet for one second!” Jisung shouts suddenly, making the room fall into a thick and slightly awkward silence.

You can’t help but grin widely when Jisung stands up for you. The guys were teasing you because they overheard you telling your friend about some crush you have. You were thankful they didn’t also overhear the name of said crush. But that didn’t stop the relentless teasing and constant pestering for you to tell them. Until Jisung shut them up anyway.

“Thank you.” He cheers after a moment, lightening the mood once again, earning a few laughs as everyone’s attention moves into a different topic of conversation.

You send a warm smile to Jisung next to you, which he reciprocates. The irony is he has no idea that the mysterious crush is actually him.

Felix

“That’s not fair!” Jeongin shouts, pouting like a child. He has been pestering you for hours because you wouldn’t share any of the chocolate you had with him. And although you normally find his whining and general behaviour endearing, it was starting to drive you insane.

“Ugh, (Y/N) isn’t going to give you any so just give up and go.” Felix suddenly states. The way he is sprawled out on the sofa makes him look as though he is indifferent to the current situation, but his tone was letting you know he was getting irritated.

Jeongin grudgingly gets up off the sofa and leaves the room mumbling how unfair it is under his breath, the adorable pout still on his face.

“Now hopefully he’ll leave you in peace.” Felix laughs lightly, a cheeky grin on his face as he looks at you on the opposite sofa

Seungmin

You fall dramatically onto the bed, your face flat against the soft pillow which gets Seungmin’s attention immediately. He turns around from his desk, his eyes falling onto you with an amused expression.

“Why are you being so dramatic?” Seungmin questions you with a laugh.

“Changbin decided to tell everyone about the reason why I have a fear of clowns.” You whine as you roll onto your back, a pout on your face as you stare at the ceiling.

“And then Hyunjin and Jisung started to mock me and say that they are gonna get clown masks and jump scare me.” You continue after taking a deep breath, a loud sigh escaping your lips.

You had rushed to get away from their teasing, and headed to the only person you wanted to be around: Seungmin. The reason being that he understood your fear of clowns because he had comforted you when you had a panic attack over seeing one in the street and also because you have a crush on him.

“Where are you going?” You shout after Seungmin as he suddenly stands up and walks out of the room. You continue to lay across his bed, too lazy to get up and follow him.

He re-enters the room a minute later with Changbin, Hyunjin and Jisung following behind him.

“We’re sorry we teased you.” Changbin mumbles, looking as though he had been forced to apologise.

“Yeah, we won’t actually get clown masks and scare you.” Jisung apologetically states as Hyunjin just meekly smiles at you. You nod your head in responce, not knowing what to say as you are too confused by the situation. How did Seungmin get them to say sorry?

“How did you get them to apologise?” You ask, voicing your question as the guys leave, still taken aback by the situation.

“Let’s just say I’m very good at persuading people ... and I may know a few things that they don’t want anyone to know about.” Seungmin cheekily reply’s. You laugh at the fact he blackmailed them for you, feeling overwhelmingly happy that he would stick up for you like that.

Jeongin

Your crush on Jeongin was fairly obvious, to the point where you were teased about it in front of Jeongin by the guys frequently. But you never admit it or argue back, you just blush and become very shy. Jeongin never said anything about the guys teasing, being easily flustered himself. But really it’s because he didn’t know if it was the truth or if the guys were just messing around.

“(Y/N)’s daydreaming about Jeongin again.” Seungmin snickers, bringing you back into reality, taking in your surroundings. You were just minding your own business and must have gotten caught up in your own thoughts.

“Will you stop with that.” You sass back, finally getting tired enough of the constant comments to say something about it.

“Only when it stops being funny, which it never will.” Seungmin retorts, a cheeky grin on his face.

“Aw you’re blushing!” Chan joins in, pointing out your embarrassment as you look down at your lap to try and hide your face.

“Hey, (Y/N) asked you to stop. So stop.” Jeongin speaks up, visibly adgitated by the fact you had been ignored.

“Ok, calm down. It’s just a bit of fun.” Minho sasses. You glance around the room to see all the guys smirking at you both, all with mischievous faces.

“Ugh, let’s go somewhere else.” Jeongin rolls his eyes before grabbing your arm and pulling you out of the room. You couldn’t contain your elated expression with the outcome of this scenario. Your crush had just defended you, you had to still be dreaming.

[toliveanddieinstarlight]

Season 3, Episodes 3 and 4

Episode 3: A Day in the Strife

JESUS DELENN

For fuck's sake, Londo, can you please go at least five minutes without being the absolute worst. It’s a miracle Delenn didn’t have to immediately visit MedLab for conversational whiplash.

I really enjoy Ta’Lon as a character - the episode in which he was introduced was so weird to me, but at least we got him. Nice to see him and Sheridan getting a drink together.

Corwin has learned that Ivanova isn’t as scary as she seems and that is awesome.

Aaaaa fuck Ta'Lon you excellent dude.

Episode 4:

PASSING THROUGH GETHSEMANE

Brad Dourif is so fucking incredible. His performance just makes this episode. The religious themes here captivated me, the way it deals with forgiveness, redemption, the shouldering of one's burdens.

Lyta's throwing of some hardcore brainwashed/culty vibes, and of course Garibaldi is suspicious as hell. I mean, this is suspicious as hell.

Delenn is 0% interested in Garibaldi's position on capital punishment.

Brad Dourif played a very intense character for a while on Star Trek: Voyager that I was also fascinated with. He improves everything that he's in, and there have definitely been a handful of appearances he's made that have woefully underused him (LOOKING AT YOU, AGENTS OF SHIELD). Him telling Delenn and Lennier the story of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, and what it means to him really stuck with me - it's very much one of my favorite episodes.

And hey, Lennier's a Valen fanboy! God that's cute.

Ok, so A - one murder is a hell of a thing to get sentenced to a mind wipe. B - without an official station telepath, now that Talia is gone, who did the mind wipe?

I've mentioned before that B5 can get some legit guest stars - I’m sure there are some heavy-hitters that I'm just not aware of, but something I noticed in later watches is that there are 5 significant horror movie actors that show up as guest stars. First is Jeffrey Combs (who, I have to brag, I met at a horror convention several years ago and he was an absolute delight) in Eyes, playing a very intense young telepath - he's probably best known for playing Herbert West in the Re-Animator films, as well as a number of roles in Star Trek. Second is Ken Foree in GROPOS - my personal favorite film of his is Devil's Den, but I guess most people would know him from Dawn of the Dead. Third is Brad Dourif, who is fuckin CHUCKY! And the last one is Robert Englund, motherfuckin Freddy Krueger! Now, you can make a pretty good case to include Patricia Tallman (recently-reappeared resident telepath Lyta Alexander), thanks to her appearance in Dawn of the Dead remake Night of the Living Dead, but she's basically a series regular.

I did not watch horror movies in high school. I was a hugely scared baby as a teen and didn't really start seeing any significant horror movies until I was in college, so there was no way I was recognizing any of these folks when I was first watching. Either way, it's been very fun for me to see these actors that I really enjoy in horror doing cool things in a show I love.

[allofthefeelings]

Hi. I forgot that sad endings exist, and now, I'm scared stupid after your last BW movie post. She's dead already! I want something close to happy! (Oh god, I hope the fanfics come through 😭😭😭)

(Before I begin, I would also like you to know that, while this is over 4000 words long, I did cut a several-paragraphs-long digression comparing the BW movie to Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas. You’re welcome.)

I know I’m once again outing myself as an optimist here, and I’m sure I’ll also end up getting smug asks in four months when much of my speculation is wrong, but what the hell. If I was on this tumblr to be right I would have made a LOT of different decisions.

So.

I really, truly don’t think we’re going to get a sad ending.

But the question is, how does it achieve a not-sad ending? Or, to completely re-frame and re-structure: for a character like Natasha, what exactly is a happy ending?

Buckle in, because this gets long.

I think we can all agree that, by definition, we’re starting the movie from a point of melancholy at best, just because we know that in 2023 Natasha will be dead. She doesn’t get to ride into the sunset in any way, shape, or form. Every other solo movie- even the ones with tragic endings, like Thor Ragnarok’s destruction of Asgard and a large portion of its people- have given characters a path forward and the odds that even if this won’t give them a happy ending, it gives them a way towards one. It ends with hope. There isn’t room for that here, for obvious reasons. But what there is room for- and this is, ironically, achievable because of one of the major flaws of IW- is the idea that she did achieve growth, and then had six years to live the life she wanted.

Or, not the life she WANTED, which probably would not have been one part on the run/five parts half of society obliterated by Thanos. Let’s say she had the chance to live a terrible life self-actualized.

IW’s complete and utter lack of meaningful characterization for 90% of the cast means that we don’t really have a sense of where Natasha was in that movie. That gives a lot of room to play with, to put Natasha at the end of the BW movie in a place that she wants to be in. In other words, they can retroactively argue that the reason Natasha isn’t given room to grow in IW is that she had achieved her growth in between CW and IW.

Which, look. Doylistically this is beyond bullshit. Doylistically this is actually offensive, and if they’re looking to retroactively placate us about how Natasha’s arc went, it really doesn’t work. I’m not talking about what was intended, or what was achieved; I don’t think this is either of those. I’m talking about what we can choose to read into it.

And, frankly, as a Natasha fan, that’s pretty much all we do anyway. I can argue (and clearly have argued) her arc for ages, but that’s all the work I’ve done, and you (collective, Natasha fans) have done- not the work the text has done.

None of this is remotely answering the question. But I think it’s necessary groundwork to begin to answer the question.

Because what the BW movie can give us is that growth arc that takes place in the negative spaces of canon.

Well, first of all, the BW movie gives us the fact that things happen at all in the negative spaces of canon. I know I’ve discussed this already, but it’s worth mentioning again: the way audiences are supposed to read texts is that everything pertinent happens on screen. Even supplemental texts that are considered canonical (cut scenes, novelizations, official tie-in comics, movie scripts) are deemed inherently less valuable because they aren’t on the screen. This movie affirms that important events are happening off-screen, to everyone- or at least everyone who isn’t front and center.

This is, again, infuriating, and I feel like when I say this I’m inadveretently contributing to justification. That is not my intention. Natasha’s growth should have been on screen and should have been seen as important. I hate that it’s reduced to a single movie after ten years and the character’s death. I don’t think this justifies it. AT THE SAME TIME, I think this opens space for us to look at lots of characters who haven’t gotten the screen time they deserved.

(Like, they may never give Rhodey the movie he deserves, but at least no one can tell us that if he did something worth seeing it would have been on screen. This movie’s existence is a rebuttal of that. This is a digression but one I’m gonna keep making until everyone starts casually referring to awesome shit Rhodey did off-screen because WHY THE FUCK NOT, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT DIDN’T HAPPEN, “IT DIDN’T HAPPEN ON SCREEN” IS NO LONGER PROOF OF ANYTHING EXCEPT THEY HAVEN’T DONE THE SET-IN-THE-PAST MOVIE YET. Y E T.)

But we also get the possibility of growth, and to analyze what growth means for Natasha’s character.

So here is an issue: I can tell you, with a frankly absurd amount of confidence, what I read Natasha’s arc as. I can lay it out from film to film, I can point to key growth moments, I can read a lot into every scrap that made it into the final cut and I can tell you exactly why, and I feel like if you dig into my history you’re going to find a lot of me citing specific scenes to make my point so I’m not going to go too in-depth on an already-long post that is getting exponentially longer. I think that Natasha’s key arc is in figuring out who she is and what she needs, and how to be a person rather than a reflection of what is asked of her. I think that the mirror imagery in the trailer and in the SDCC/D23 BW footage lends credence to this being a key theme of the movie.

But I have absolutely no idea if I’m right, because the MCU has never considered Natasha to be important enough to be the focus, and as a result I read her arc mostly through the ways she mirrors other characters’ stories, usually to show their strengths by comparison. I do my best to make arguments that are textually supported, but at the same time, it’s like describing the sun entirely from the way that its light reflects off the moon.

So I can say that for the BW movie to be satisfying, it needs to offer completion to her arc, which is then capped in IW/Endgame but would have reached its climax in the BW movie. But since I cannot confidently tell you what her arc has been so far, I can’t figure out exactly how that arc could be satisfactorily completed. Which means, after SEEING the movie, I will have to retroactively figure out how they saw her arc, and then figure out if this was a satisfactory way to end it.

But an argument done in hindsight is colored by what I’ve already seen, and that’s a cheat. So let’s start over.

Here is what we know:

Natasha was taken from her family very young (Endgame: didn’t know her father’s name). As a child, she was abused and manipulated by the Red Room (Agent Carter; Age of Ultron). She was trained to be a Black Widow, did terrible shit for them for a while, defected, became a mercenary, did terrible shit for the highest bidder (Avengers). Clint was sent to kill her but made a different call and brought her in to SHIELD (Avengers). Natasha quickly rose in the ranks and became one half of a STRIKE team watched over by Fury’s right-hand man, Coulson (Avengers). Natasha also became very close with Nick Fury, the head of SHIELD (IM2, Cap2). At some point in there she was shot by the Winter Soldier (Cap2). She was one of the people behind putting together the Avengers Initiative, identifying Tony Stark as not qualified (IM2), and recruited into the team herself (Avengers). She did not leave the Avengers teams for the next 11 years; she was on the first iteration (lasting through Age of Ultron), the second (Age of Ultron through Civil War), and then the Secret Avengers (which we can now assume starts post-BW through Infinity War) and Avengers 3.0 (five-year gap team), as well as the Quantum Realm Team-Up Team right up til she got yeeted off Vormir.

We’ll set Secret Avengers and Team 3.0 aside for the moment, as they’re things that will exist post-BW movie canon.

Natasha’s narrative role has often been to be so amazing that when she’s bested, we know the other person is really good. The best way for me to pull this together into a coherent throughline is that Natasha tends to be bested by people with passion and emotional stakes. When Natasha is just doing her job, but Pepper cares about Tony or the Dora Milaje care about T’Challa, she is outmatched. In Cap2, when Natasha cares deeply about SHIELD and who she’s loyal to, she is able to outmatch everyone she faces, but since she’s a secondary character and her act isn’t as highly visible on screen, her heroism isn’t as spotlighted.

(That said, make no mistake, WE WILL BE COMING BACK TO HER HEROIC MOVE IN THIS MOVIE.)

Her role has also been, as I mentioned earlier, to be a mirror to the white male heroes. She mirrors Tony in IM2, Clint in Avengers, Steve in Cap2, and Bruce in Ultron. I can make a strong argument, that I feel is supported by each text, that each of these mirrors is about moderation, and both the white man of choice and Natasha finding that the ideal is somewhere between both points: the space between how and why Tony and Natasha handle secrecy; between how Clint and Natasha handle guilt; between how Steve and Natasha handle trust; between how Bruce and Natasha handle self-hatred. That the writers and directors often disagree with my read of this does not, in any way, dissuade me from believing it, but it does mean that this may not be the arc we’re looking at in the movie.

By the arcs that I’ve traced, though, they have a fair amount of leeway to give a satisfying conclusion no matter what the plot is. By having other characters mirroring Natasha, she is centered in a way she never had been, and simply being the protagonist of her own story is part of Natasha’s journey we haven’t seen. We know that this is going to in some way revisit the Red Room, and that means that we’ll get to see a story where Natasha is passionate about and personally connected to what she’s fighting. We also know that whatever the story is, it will not be Natasha mediating someone else’s approach to the world, but Natasha’s approach to the world with someone else (I’m guessing Yelena?) mediating her worldview, in a way that gives Natasha growth but does not undercut her as someone who had so much to learn from the REAL hero.

All plot to the side, simply because Natasha is the protagonist, there is an element of satisfaction inherent, both textually and metatextually, because Natasha’s role of being sidelined is both within the text and within the media landscape a struggle she’s finally able to overcome. There is also a metatextual satisfaction just in cleaning up the bits and pieces of canon that we’ve gotten that were left hanging. For example, in her heroic climax in Winter Soldier, Natasha- who was so focused on being able to transform into whatever was necessary- released a fuck-ton of national security information on the internet, including her own history, that made her both immutable and knowable. (Do you ever think about how this means that people living within the MCU know more about Natasha’s background than we, the audience, does? Because I do, c o n s t a n t l y.) Natasha went from working undercover and in the shadows to being an Avenger and releasing not just her own and not just SHIELD’s but also the Red Room’s dirty laundry in public, and that has never had narrative consequences; this is a great opportunity to use that, closing a loop that most people probably forgot even existed.

Speaking of closure.

I think this movie HAD to be designed with that specifically in mind. I don’t think they necessarily expected the backlash they got from Natasha’s death (I’m going to be honest here; I didn’t expect it from anyone but Natasha fans), but at least they had to know that people who had been promised Natasha would get her due in canon would be frustrated and want some sign that the complexity of the character that had been talked up for a decade was actually part of the story they put on film. Marvel wants to placate fans, yes, but they wouldn’t waste millions upon millions of dollars on a movie to get us to shut up; their job is to bring in money, and it’s not like they haven’t gotten ten years’ worth from us. They’re also savvy enough to know that for a character who’s no longer alive in canon, they need to do things that make their story relevant even without them having future appearances- and I think we’ll see that in Yelena and Taskmaster- but also to make this story have stakes.

Yeah, we never spend a Marvel movie saying “Oh geez, what if the hero dies?” (well, aside from Civil War, because comics oontext), but right now we’re going in knowing (or, bare minimum, thinking we know) exactly what happens to Natasha. Where she’ll end up just under two years from when the story starts is set in stone (NO PUN INTENDED). So we need another way to give the story stakes. Natasha’s life and her future aren’t up in the air. Her past is, I guess, but they’ve been clear this movie isn’t about her past. And where that leaves us is the emotional journey. I outlined above what I think that is, but it doesn’t have to be that to be satisfying- it just has to be some way to leave Natasha changed in a way that surprises us as audience.

And, sure, that could be loss- that could be betrayal from everyone in this movie, leaving her alone and with no one to turn to but the Avengers- but I don’t think that is. I think that’s looking at Natasha’s story like she’s still a secondary character, rather than the protagonist. The basic structure of a superhero movie (and specifically a Marvel movie) is that the protagonist suffers defeat but ultimately triumphs, internally if not externally, having learned something that takes them farther on their emotional journey. Since (as far as we )know this is the only movie Nat’s getting- she’s not getting a trilogy or a Dis+ show- this needs to take her farther than most single-protagonist movies have.

In terms of another kind of closure: If the movie doesn’t offer at least a hint of a way Nat could come back (and I’m still hoping for that no matter how unlikely it is, and if it doesn’t happen I’m hoping for it in the Dr Strange sequel, and after that I’m sure I’ll find another path), I think there’s an excellent chance the post-credits scene will be a funeral for her. Given that they have SebStan and Mackie and Emily Van Camp shooting together right now, it would be very easy to at the VERY least get us a scene of them mourning her. It’s not the same as Tony’s giant lakehouse memorial, but it’s about half the characters who were close to her when she was alive (the others being Clint, Maria, and Fury, and I’m pretty sure they could have put an hour of time on the FFH set to the latter two having five seconds of looking solemn). I think that, given the backlash to Endgame, they need something like this: we need to see, on screen, conclusive proof that Natasha’s life mattered, not just for the audience, but for the world she lived in.

My dream would be for the entire movie to use a frame story OF her funeral- people talking about her, different memories and different understandings, that combine in different ways to collectively show a whole. Fucking Rashomon that shit. But we all know they’re not going to do that.

I recognize I am still talking satisfying and not happy.

But what exactly is happy? What exactly is the happy ending Natasha might want?

She’s not a character who wants to retire or settle down somewhere. As much as we in the audience talk about wanting her to get a break, we’ve never seen that from her, and we also don’t see a world that could really offer that to her; especially post-Cap2, Natasha does not have the luxury of escaping her past even if she did want to.

We don’t know her goals. We don’t know what she wanted outside of making amends for her past. We’ve gotten that from almost every other character- say what you want about Steve’s Endgame ending (god knows I have), or about Bruce being a public figure that kids love, but at least there was groundwork laid for it.

i think the best argument we have for what makes Natasha happy is in Civil War, when it’s taken away. Natasha is willing to give up things that are important to her (her autonomy) in favor of not losing her team; being together is the priority for her. By the end of Civil War, she’s lost even that; she’s seen to have betrayed her entire team and has no one. By IW we know that she re-finds her group, that she and Steve and Sam and Wanda are a tightly-knit unit, but we have to piece it together ourselves, and we have no way to know that it’s by choice rather than necessity. (The BW trailer is really the first time we get evidence that Natasha has more resources than just the Avengers or SHIELD; even fic has tended to just posit she has empty safehouses, not living people she can go to.) The BW movie could give her that team, and retroactively make her appearance in IW a reward for her- having found the team she wanted- rather than just the natural place for her to end up.

But I can’t see how that would even work without at least some of Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie, and Elizabeth Olsen appearing in this movie and showing on screen that Natasha has her people. We haven’t seen evidence they aren’t, but at least I haven’t heard any rumors they are, the way we’ve heard rumors about RDJ.

And there’s something awful, to me, in Natasha constantly being supporting in other people’s movies, which exist to seem self-contained even if they’re not, but then in her movie her emotional fulfillment relying on things that happen elsewhere- the implication that her emotional arc can’t even support a single movie.

In terms of what we’ve seen achieved, Natasha seems happiest when she’s solving a problem, when she’s fighting and winning and being the hero she doesn’t quite believe she is. But that’s not something that can be an end to an arc, of a decade or even of two hours. No matter how great that is, it’s a momentary thing, and it’s fleeting. That’s happiness but not narratively satisfying

This remains not an answer to the original questions.

I think part of the issue is, it’s not necessarily that we need Natasha to be happy, for her to have a happy ending. It’s that we, the audience, wants to be happy- and frankly, I don’t think that’s unreasonable; we’re not going to blockbusters to have our hearts torn out (and I think that after Endgame especially, Natasha fans are not ready or willing to do that again). And so we’re looking less at how Natasha can be happy, but how we can be happy. Selfishly, I’d even add: how we can be happy without doing the work. How we can be happy without conspiracy-theorizing our way to a satisfying narrative, but rather, a narrative that’s already on the screen, that we can just roll around in and enjoy.

I realize how bizarre this is to say after 3000+ words, but: I want the opportunity to be a lazy viewer. I want the chance to take things in without having to take responsibility for making them into something I want to see. I don’t want to have to reverse-engineer her story; I want to dig into the minutiae that is maybe actually intended.

On some level, that’s going to be the happy ending for me. Just having a whole text to dive into is a gift. (I am probably monkey-pawing myself just by saying this, which is the same kind of bullshit I argued for Age of Ultron- but then, I still can rewatch Ultron and find a lot that I like.) And Natasha getting a narrative win- which, as protagonist, she kind of has to- will be a happy ending for me.

But I’m a Natasha fan. This is expected.

What I think is the real question under all of this- what I’ve been struggling to tease out from my own feelings, and maybe now I’m finally getting to it- is a different question entirely: how can Marvel craft a story that sticks with their formula of giving a protagonist a win and something like a happy ending, while telling a story about a character who has been sidelined for ten years until they killed her off? Setting aside those of us who are overly invested in Natasha’s arc, what is the path to telling a story that the majority of the audience- most of whom haven’t traced her history, many of whom are casual fans, some of whom probably didn’t even see Endgame- finds fulfilling and happy?

The hero has to win, obviously. The hero has to triumph. Natasha has to come away having saved the world (stopping a villain from destruction), her world (protecting those close to her), and her internal world (some kind of emotional progress/catharsis). There will be moments intended for the audience to cheer. That’s a formula that you can find in nearly every superhero movie, and with good reason; I can’t think of why it wouldn’t apply here.

So looping back around, the question about the sad ending really is just for those of us who are deeply engaged. It’s not “will Natasha triumph?” because yes, she will- of course she will. We are going to get a movie where the world will be saved by Natasha (which has happened before) and the text will acknowledge that (which it really has not). The real question at hand is “will Natasha’s triumph be enough to mitigate the substantial losses she’s had in the other movies, or will it be bittersweet, her success here just underscoring the way that her biggest narrative win was to kill herself for no recognition?”

Which, of course, on some level, will vary from audience member to audience member. But I think that, with the awareness of how Endgame worked, and the knowledge of exactly when this movie is coming out, they have to at least try to give her- and us- this.

It’s now 5:15 AM and this is over 4000 words long and if you’ve read all this you deserve a medal. I’m happy to clarify or expand on anything in a few hours when I get up; I know that I circled a few points rather than clearly making them, but I’m no longer even completely sure what is common knowledge and what is me projecting. Hopefully this can at least start a conversation?

ETA: And anon, I am sure no matter what happens, fanfic will have our backs.

[eat-sleep-meme-freak-repeat]

Thoughts on It Chapter 2

((I don't know how to put a post under read more, especially not on mobile, so I apologize for the long semi-rambly post. Also major spoilers, but duh.))

Coming out of the movie my two major thinking points that I'll expand upon were 1) this movie was a great follow up to the first both horror/scares and character-wise. 2) not at all a fan of how they treated the queer representation in the movie.

Now I must premise this with the fact that I have not read the book. What I know of the differences between the movies and the book are all based off of what my brother has told me so all critiques I have on character stories/plot points in the movies are completely separate from that of the book. Now on to the subject matter.

1) great follow up to the first:

I adored the characters in the first movie. The acting was great, the characters funny, the friendships/relationships engaging and believable. It's been a bit since I last watched the first movie but I do remember being terrified at many points while watching it. Of course there were jumpscares but they didn't feel overdone or cheap and the imagery was truly disturbing at parts.

The second movie only seemed to build on this. The initial reunion was great. It really embodied the sense that no matter how long it's been, true friendships never really die. All it takes is one get together for everybody to feel like good friends again and go right back to joking around(I myself recently had a get together with old friend's I hadn't seen in years so I could seriously relate to that dinner scene before shit started going down). Then once they were all reacquainted the real horror began. This movie seemed to take all the surrealist horror and disturbing forms pennywise took of the first movie and amplied them. I was thoroughly disgusted by much of the imagery and had to peer at the screen through my fingers during many of the suspenseful scenes. Overall a good horror film(though I'm sure there's people that didn't find it as scary as I did)

2) bury your gays:

I want to make it clear that I understand this is a horror movie and people are going to die. My issue is with how closely this movie followed common horror movie tropes for the few queer characters we got with no real substance/reason behind the scenes/character arc.

For any not familiar with the term "bury your gays" a brief explanation is that it's a trope where if there's a queer character, they either die or suffer greatly in that story, generally because of their queerness. This movie jumps all in on that on two narrative points.

For one, It pretty much opens on a hate crime showing a gay couple(of course meeting that 1 or more "catty/flaming gay man" quota) at the fair. They're followed out by a group of seriously dangerous looking homophobes and Catty Gay™ wastes no time before insulting and sassing them repeatedly despite these people literally having the couple surrounded on a fairly secluded bridge. Homophobes then beat Catty Gay™ nearly to death and throw him off of the bridge to finish the job. Pennywise drags Catty Gay™ out of the river and eats him while his boyfriend watches on in terror from the opposite bank. We see nothing more of them or this incident at any other point in the movie. Apparently in the book this event ties in to a series of crimes being tracked by Mike who goes and interviews the survivor of the couple(as well as the families of other crime victims) and finds out they'd been planning to leave derry, adding weight to the idea that basically nobody can get out and that there is a pervading sickness in derry caused by the presence of Pennywise.

In the movie Mike goes to the bridge, finds a balloon and later reads in the paper about a little girl being mauled prompting him to call everybody. Nothing on the couple. The scene is completely meaningless in the movie. It's nearly impossible to understands the context of that scene without the foreknowledge of having read the book. Nobody should have to read the book to understand why something happens in the movie adaptation. If there isn't time for the explanation/context in the film or it doesn't fit well in to the narrative, then the scene should be changed or cut entirely.

The second point is how Richie never gets his happily ever after or resolution of his fears preyed upon by pennywise unlike the others. Everybody else(other than those that died) were clearly shown moving on from their fears and getting the chance at true happiness now that pennywise is gone for good. Mike finally moves out of derry to visit the place he's always wanted to see, Beverly and Ben find happiness in each other(Beverly finally escaping a life time of abuse and Ben's fears of Bev never loving someone who was always "just a little fat kid" disproven) and are shown living it up on a boat somewhere beautiful, and Bill finally accepts and very clearly tells himself that Georgies death wasn't his fault + gets past his writers block.

Richie, after pretty much his entire character arc being about his internalized homophobia and fear of people finding out he's gay gets to see the person he's always loved die and then goes and renews the R+E carving he put on a bridge as a kid. That's it. No indication that he's truly accepted himself, no opening up to any close friends or loved ones(not even after the scene where all the living losers quietly hold and comfort him when he breaks down crying over Eddie's death), no finding love again, nothing. Just an old carving left when he was a kid. To say this ending for Richie left something to be desired is an understatement. It was so disappointing to see the only real representation we had in this movie not get his happy ending, and everybody else's endings being tied up in such near little bows almost makes this feel deliberate.(I'm not saying it is deliberate, just that it feels that way)

I don't really know what else to say on the matter so sorry for the abrupt cut-off here, I just really wanted to talk about this someplace where hopefully others will share my thoughts/feelings(especially after how frankly dismissive and confrontational my dad and brother, though mostly dad, were when I brought this up to them on the way home from the movie) if anybody has anything to add or would like to share their thoughts, feel free!

[jiwonsssi]

— on the count of three.

prompt:

- Let's take a photo! One, two..

- I'm going to kiss you.

- Three.. What?

characters: Eun Jiwon, 'you';

warnings: slight cursing, slight R-rating.

Jiwon is a really good old friend of yours. Not like 'good', not really 'really', but surely 'old' and sometimes even a 'friend'. Well. Decision of spending an evening together was not quite a bad idea. He started to behave lately, and was a bearable human being, even funny and nice sometimes. You wanted to know what caused those extreme changes, but decided to not to disturb it to not to ruin it.

- And you know what she did? She hid the fact that she stole it! Like, I can't believe..

- But what do you want her to do? Being, like, 'oh, you know what, I stole this, that and that, just saying'? It's bullshit. Use your head before talking, you, - he put a hand on your hair to mess with it while laughing and you just roll your eyes since it was better to not pay attention to his antics rather than fight back. Useless anyways.

Anyways it was a good way of wasting time on watching a movie or drinking or doing God-knows-what. You end up re-watching the first Iron Man for, like, tenth time and by the end of the begging of the film it was only a conversation that was matter.

- Look whos talking, mister I-Say-Shit-Without-Thinking-Since-I-Started-Talking, huh, - but you, being, well, you, continued bickering. Following the easiest path was never a choice. And it's funny to see him frustrated. More like a hobby of yours.

- What? Why are you being so brave tonight? - he looks at you with those angry eyes and you answer with same expression. Because.. well, we already discussed it.

Then you are being pushed to the side by his hand on your shoulder. Seeing his all smiley and mocking 'I am the winner' face while he sips his drink was not pleasant at all, so with a deep sigh and a slight kick on his leg, you stood up to straighten your shirt.

- It's not like I was scared any other day, you know, - he follows your hands with a gaze and nod, taking another sip. And now that was surprising. Because having him checking you out is surely something you have never experienced. Jiwon adjusts his pose and avoids your eyes when you bend a brow.

He's not ashamed; to be honest, you are not entirely sure if he has a clue what shame actually is.

- I know, - and it suddenly awkward. Maybe it just you, but he definitely changed his expression. Now he tries to burn a hole in a TV screen and you just stand there not knowing what to do. Very nice. Just a dream, - I want another bottle of soju. Have some? Bring it.

He didn't even glanced your way. Usual Jiwon is back in town so nothing to worry about.

So you made yourself comfortable on a couch again and took a cup with soju from his hand.

- Help yourself, - you smiled at him with false politeness and nodded to a kitchen, receiving muttered curses and soft 'I didn't want it that much anyways'. You smile, shaking your head.

He's really cute, you just couldn't deny it.

By knowing him for more than a few years now, you got an immunity to all his attacks (almost), so you actually found him adorable mostly. He indeed is. When he's not a moron, he's either a squishy sleepy lost ball or a charismatic rapper and powerful, smart leader. And you even had just a tiny small little micro crush on him before. Well maybe a huge ass crush if being honest. And you even sure that he knew. You were young, naive and inexperienced. Of course he knew. It was obvious.

The thing is, he never took an advantage, even if he had a chance, and it made you respect him at some point. Now it's gone, just a funny memory; yet something is still there. You just preferred to ignore it. God knows why.

- Someone is spamming you with texts and you are too deep into admiring me to notice.

Being slapped in a face? That's how it feels like.

Resume: you stared at him while thinking that you used to have a crush on him while holding a cup near your mouth but not drinking while your telephone kept ringing while he was fully aware of what was happening for God knows how long. Well.. Shit happens, right?

- Was thinking that you need to see a dermatologist.

Maintaining a straight face when you actually had an internal breakdown was not an easy task, but you managed. Now the task is to ignore his smirk. Like hell he would believe. Ugh.

You opened a text from your friend, well, a bunch of texts, from just one tiny friend, to see her asking you repeatedly what were you doing. Lots of unnecessary photos of her face with all the faces she could have manage, surroundings, and similar messages; she is a really close good friend. The only reason for tolerating it.

Still funny sometimes tho.

- C'mon, let's take a picture, - someone need to break the ice now, right? You leaned backwards closer to his face to adjust an angle and put on the dumbest expression you could maintain, - One, two..

- I'm going to kiss you.

- Three.. Wha-

And then his lips are on yours.

There is not a single thought in your mind.

You weren't even able to be surprised.

The kiss is so light; his lips barely touch yours and yet it's so breathtaking. So soft.

No one ever kissed you like that.

You don't want it to end; you will need to talk about it, to sort things out, but for now his hands on your cheeks and you let him deepen the kiss. It's somehow magical now; the atmosphere around you.

Feeling your arms getting weaker by every second, you just lean into him. Into comfort you never knew even exist. His hands reach you neck to gently guide you and you completely surrender. It's impossible to not to.

God, he's amazing. And when you realise that one of your hands is slowly making it's way up his tight, you hear loud crack of the phone hitting a floor.

Perfect timing.

It ends this magic just like that; you open your eyes trying to catch a breath.

And then silence.

Complete silence; just his slightly hitched breath and your heart. You wander if he can hear it.

You wait for him to joke, to be nervous or at least be even slightly surprised. But when you meet his eyes, he's so calm. He looks at you directly with so fucking gentle smile.

You have never seen him smile like that. And you were lucky; he could persued you to do anything by looking that way.

There is only you who look like a deer caught in a headlights, actually. And Jiwon finds it adorable.

His hands never leave your body and now he keeps your head straight for you to look at him; and you just choose to shut your eyes tightly. Causing him to crack and laugh.

You have no idea what to feel now, you just really want to decide later; but the sound of his laugh was never that charming.

You never imagined your heart can beat that fast.

- Look at me, - you just shake your head, realising that one of your hands is now stuck in the air and you, like a complete fool, place it on your knees. And another one, that was on his thight all the time. For fuck's sake, oh God. Still refusing to open your eyes tho.

- No, - voice is like a tiny squeak and he finds it funny again when you feel him caress your neck with his fingers; it's so light and tender you barely notice. But he does it.

Remember fast beating heart? Now it's faster and it seems like a good idea to just die in his arms.

- Please, - he rarely asks this polite and you decide to give him a chance. Since he already kissed you. You are going to face him anyways, it's not like he's planning to fuck off. Not like you want it.

- I broke my phone, - your hands now on his wrists and you find yourself not being able to do what you wanted to do.

He's so warm. You can feel it. You can feel his pulse under your fungertips. So calm.

It's impossible to look at him now.

- I know, - he's a lot closer now; voice is barely audible. Perhaps you would get mad if it wasn't so good.

Yes, long forgotten crush, all that staff; but you can't deny that he's exactly what you ever wanted. As simple as that. You just choose to avoid those feelings to not to get hurt. Because he never made a move; was always around, like a friend. He made it clear then. And now he offers something different to you. Yes, it feels really good.

It would be better to know that he does it not because he's drunk and wants to mess with you.

His presence feels different all of a sudden. Hot. Tempting. Delicate?

- You wouldn't be able to keep them close forever, - Jiwon laughs again and you feel, suddenly, a smile creeping on your face as well.

He's not like that, right? Jiwon is not going to do that to someone.

- Don't underestimate my fear of facing you, - you feel him stroking your hair lazily and he gave your ear a light pinch.

- You said you are never afraid. Never, my ass, - he's mocking you again as if kissing wasn't enough. Not going to let it slide, you unconsciously open your eyes to see him smiling ever so brightly.

- It wasn't.. Fuck, - it's not the moment that breathtaking, it's him.

His expression is priceless and he's so close and so happy. God, so happy.

You are falling for him so hard you can feel your ribs clenching.

- Now I'm going to kiss you again. Ready? 1..

He never finishes since it's rather difficult to talk while kissing. You can feel Jiwon smile widely in the kiss and this is incredible; all that happening is incredible. His hands on your waist and he's pulling you on his laps and you happily help him. Way too happily perhaps since he breaks a kiss to laugh, while giving you short pecks and getting down your neck with wet kisses. The skin feels like it's on fire; everywhere you feel his fingers touch you, it burns. You move your head to give him better access, burying fingers in his hair, slightly tugging on it.

You would sell your soul to not to moan like a teenager, but you can't. All you manage is biting your lip and pulling his hair harder. He likes it. You can feel it. You totally can feel exactly how much he likes it.

- Let's pretend it was our first date and when I asked you to be my girlfriend you said yes, - you catch something in your throat not because you are taken aback by his audacity, but because he definitely leaves a hickey on your neck.

The thing is, you are mad, happy and turned on at the same time.

Tagging on his hair, you make him look at you. And damn those eyes.

Now you just turned on. Nice.

- What made you think I would say yes?

- You just jumped on my lap like you..

- I understand your point, now shut up, - well, testing him is not an easy game to play.

But it so worth it.

[deadybones]

I'm slightly belated but if you're answering for the meme questz, how about silent films, Muppets, or/and Osomatsu.

Thank you so much for asking me! I was tossing up which of these three suggestions to go with, and I drafted up one for each of them… But since this is the one with the fewest “N/A” answers, let’s go with the ‘Matsus. I hope you don’t mind me mixing -Kun and -San.

the character i least understand

Dekapan.

Even in the fluid characterization of -Kun, he’s always been an odd duck. To the point I think he might have some kind of early-onset Alzheimers. Also more recently I’ve been re-watching the Japanese dub of The Simpsons, and now I just can’t stop imagining him as Homer and vice versa because they shared a voice actor.

interactions i enjoyed the most

- Suujimatsu! Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu are both weird in such a complementary (if not straight-up codependent) way, it’s no wonder they’re so close. The skits that showcase the ways each others’ minds work are so sweet.

- Zaimokumatsu! Todomatsu and Karamatsu both have a preoccupation with being “cool,” but they have such different ideas of what “cool” looks like that they’re never going to see eye-to-eye. As someone who’s invested entirely too much energy into trying to be being cool and likeable, I appreciate the absurdity of it all. Plus Irino Miyu always knocks it out of the park in these skits, too.  

- Mom and Dad! …er, -matsu! Particularly in the 1980s series. Matsuyo and Matsuzo work so hard to support their awful children that you can’t help but feel for them. I like how you sometimes you get glimpses of the people they were before they fell into the roles as “housewife” and “salaryman,” like Matsuyo being a former ballet dancer and Matsuzo’s penchant for the nightlife. Despite all their foibles and differences, they’re perfect for each other. Oso-kun’s always had a big following among adults, and I feel like these two were probably a big part of that appeal.

the character who scares me the most

Hatab — err, I mean, “Mr. Flag.”

He used to be so sweet… What on Earth happened to that kid? Why isn’t he hanging out with Chibita any more? What happened to his cousin Jajako? How did he acquire a multimillion dollar consulting business? There’s got to be a story there and that’s the show I want to watch.

To be honest, I also can’t help but wonder if his sinister streak was the -San staff throwing in a bit of social commentary on Japan’s conservative national establishment. I mean, here’s this kid who looks cute and non-threatening enough to get away with anything, but treats his workers abysmally and is enmeshed in a number of criminal enterprises … and he’s literally got the national flag sticking out of his head all the while. Hmmm.

the character who is mostly like me

Choromatsu in -San, because he’s always talking about things and then not actually doing the things. Matsuzo’s good-natured ineffectuality also rings true with me.

hottest looks character

Iyami, no contest. What, ya thought I was joking with those “sleazy ex-husband” tags? C’mon! He’s got a car, keeps a trim figure with all that running from the cops, knows all the best soup kitchens in town… You could do worse, right?

one thing i dislike about my fave character

Sometimes I think I think a lot more about Chibita than the writers for -San did. :,) He’s a very well-developed little guy in the originals and I want justice for my boy in Season II.

one thing i like about my hated character

I don’t hate anyone, but even at the bottom of my brothers-ranking, Choromatsu still makes a great straight man. His fits and starts towards becoming a productive member of society gave me a lot to enjoy during the second cour.

a quote or scene that haunts me

Bit of a deep cut, but there’s a manga story from around the 3rd run (I think?) of -Kun that ends on a bizarrely poignant note. The scenario starts with Iyami as an obnoxious loudmouth barfly, but then a beautiful woman falls for him. So he starts getting his life together, they move in together, and they’re having a grand old time. It’s such a wonderful little sequence because it’s almost like showing that no matter how much of a weirdo you might be, there’s gotta be someone out there for you, strange as you might be. 

It’s all very silly and cute, but theeeen the twist comes at the end: she’s been married the whole time and ultimately decides to go back to her family. The last panel is just Iyami sitting there in the dark in his house with the eggs he bought to make breakfast. It’s one of the best moments of mood whiplash I’ve seen in this vintage of manga, because everything you know about these characters and their world is priming you for a punchline that doesn’t come.

a death that left me indifferent

Chibita’s manic pixie dream girl in -San. She’s adorable! And really I love her design! But the episode got a little bogged down with all the silliness with Karamatsu. In the end, we didn’t get to know her as much as we might have, and she didn’t really help Chibita learn anything in the long-term, which made the end a little unsatisfying. This is one story where the originals landed a much stronger impact. That one really twisted the knife by having Chibita inadvertently be the one that causes the flower-girl’s death. Oof.

a character i wish died but didn’t

Nobody stays dead in the Akatsukaverse, so it’s sort of a moot point.

my ship that never sailed

Maybe it’s not so much a ship in the conventional sense so much as “I just really want these characters to interact,” but Osomatsu and Chibita! I can pinpoint the exact second I started to like this series, and that’s in Episode 2 with Chibita was offering up well-meaning but useless life advice. You think it’s building up to some sweet little self-realization for Osomatsu, but he’s got the the chutzpah to chew out an orphan for not understanding family dynamics. And the best part is neither of them are even really wrong! I like that, and I wish we saw more of it. 

A lot of the humour in -San comes from poking fun at arbitrary hierarchies, whether it’s the birth-order thing with the brothers, or the fact that none of the adults in the Akatsuka-verse have done anything to deserve being in positions of power. But because these two have absolutely no respect for each other, and Chibita in particular doesn’t have any attachment to the family relationships by which Osomatsu defines himself, there’s a level playing field where they’re call each other out on some uncomfortable truths. And damn, if they both don’t need to hear some uncomfortable truths.

Again, thank you for inviting me to share my thoughts! :D