#$9 tiktok mascara

[being-addie]

Online aesthetics and the effects of social media trends

Let's talk about this.

How it can affect young teenagers

Open Tiktok or Instagram and everything on my For You Page now shows "How to achieve a Clean Girl Aesthetic"', "Old Money Aesthetic Hairstyles", "Cottagecore Hobbies", "How to be a Femme Fatale"

It never ends. Trends keep popping up left and right and it's inescapable.

As a young, impressionable teenager, I was, of course, naturally going to be influenced by these ever-changing trends. I'd constantly change my room aesthetic, buy new clothes, and I was never satisfied with my appearance. Why? Because I didn't look like the girls on screen.

News flash. You're never going to look like them. All that content they produce which gets 100k likes is done with excessive attention to detail, expensive lighting and sound equipment, and top-notch editing software. OF COURSE, you can't look like that. It's completely manufactured. It's heartbreaking to see young girls develop body image issues because of the constant bombarding of these "aesthetics" which are basically different beauty standards and stereotypes all wrapped up in a neat little package that is labelled "personality and style". I don't have anything against the concepts of aesthetics. I love how Dark and Light Academia is centred around learning, and how Cottagecore is all about relaxation and not conforming to being part of a 9-5 and just living life. I like how the Clean Girl is focused on being healthy and productive. What I don't like is how all these healthy things, which normal functioning humans should be doing are now turned into "trends" and you must "choose" between them.

Why it's so harmful

Fashion: Since aesthetics keep changing, you're going to find multiple that appeal to you. What happens when you discover you really like cottagecore, but your closet is filled with dark academia tweed? You turn to fast fashion. It's cheap and stylish. But it's horrible for the environment and that floral dress you're wearing was made by a woman in a sweatshop in Bangladesh, while fashion giants like Shein pocket the money.

Makeup: It's always there. Always. You cannot find a "how-to" post regarding aesthetics and makeup is not included. Its always how much blush to apply, why mascara is your best friend, blah blah blah. You know what I want to see? An aesthetic which promotes a clean, fresh face. I do wear makeup, not saying I'm perfect(yes, I wear lip tint and sometimes eyeliner), but it's the ridiculous notion that there's a specific makeup look for each aesthetic, and they say it's not very heavy, but really is concealer, foundation, blush, mascara and lipgloss light makeup?

Other: Then comes the things you should own, the bags, the shoes, the jewellery, the house decor. Did you notice to achieve the look, we're spending money bit by bit? Then you don't even realise it's made a dent in your savings.

Mentality: I hate this part about aesthetics so much. A while ago, I was really interested in Dark Academia and how it was centred around learning and studying. But everything was gloomy and dark and said I should be tired and bitter to achieve this. I'm not a serious person by nature in the first place, but here were blogs telling me to be "mysterious" and how I should be getting only 4 hours of sleep to be true Dark Academia? What is this dystopia? There's this weird obsession with how someone should behave if they like an aesthetic.

Online trends are all consumerism based. It's all to get you to blow your money on things that don't even benefit you.

There's a reason I never include and never will include tags like #clean girl or #pink pilates princess in my posts because it sort of reduces you to a certain aspect. Why confine yourself to these barriers? Wear what you want. Read what you like. The one "aesthetic" I believe in, is "that girl" which in reality is different for everyone, but boils down to being educated, well-mannered, and considerate. I will make a post on this. Being educated and kind is such a flex, not wearing one flowy white dress and "thinking" you're in a meadow. Break out of the pattern of being influenced by algorithms. Don't restrict your identity because of FOMO and the urge to be trendy. You've got this.

<3

[maeleelee]

Chapter 9: You are home.

Soulmate AU. When you meet your soulmate, their name appears randomly on your body.

Lee Minho x reader Blue

They didn't know what their soul bond was until one afternoon when Blue rammed into Minho.

Warnings: death glare. spacing out. She does tell Minho to strip.

Blue sat on the couch and scrolled through TikTok on her phone when the door to the apartment opened. Jeongin and Bee walked in and had bags in their hands. “What are you two up too?” Jeongin smirked and set the bags down on the coffee table. “I took it into my own hands to get you nice clothes.” “You know my size?” “I’m a fashion icon. Give me some credit. Plus I had Bee’s help.” “Go shower and meet us in the room.” Jeongin said. Blue got up and went into the bathroom to turn on the shower. She stripped, jumped in, bathed, washed her hair, shaved, then took a deep breathe. She turned the water off and wrapped a towel around herself. She walked out of the bathroom and went into the bedroom. “Put this on for now while we get your hair and makeup done. Then we’ll put you in the outfit.” She walked into her closet and changed into the shorts and tank and walked out. "Sit." Bee pointed to the chair by Blue's vanity. Blue listened to Bee and sat down. Jeongin walked over and started doing hair styles. Picking one that was half up in two buns and the rest down. Bee started to get to work. She plugged in the bowl dryer. She sprayed Blue's hair with heat protection and grabbed the brush. She brushed through Blue's hair and then parted it. She pulled it up and dried it in sections. Jeongin had turned on music lightly and sat next to the on the vanity.

Bee moved Blue's hair off her neck and raised an eyebrow."What's wrong?" Jeongin asked Bee. "Um, you didn't go get Minho's name tattooed on you, did you?" Bee asked Blue. "Um, what?" "Lee Minho is tattooed on the back of your neck." Jeongin pulled out his phone and looked through the bond page and smiled. "When you meet your soulmate, their name will appear randomly on your body. The day you ran into him, was the day your bond happened." "Actually, that makes a lot of sense. Every time I'm around him, I feel at home. When we hit each other, I swear I felt sparks run through me, but I thought I was crazy." They smiled. "Well, hair up or down now?" Bee looked at Jeongin. Jeongin smirked. "Up. Two space buns." Bee nodded and went back to blow-drying Blue's hair. Soon she was done. She parted Blue's hair again and tied the right side together and then started putting the first bun up, then she moved onto the second one. Once her hair was done, Bee started on her makeup. Nothing too crazy. Just eyeliner and mascara. Blue really didn't like makeup. She was allergic to most of it anyways. Jeongin laid out the outfit and made sure to put on some shorts for under the dress, knowing Blue doesn't like her thighs rubbing together. "I'm going to shower and change. Bee get ready. Blue outfits on the bed." He kissed both their cheeks and walked out of the room. The girls got up and changed into their outfits. Blue slid on her black platforms and Bee put on her vans. They went into the living room and waited around for Seungmin. 

The door opened and Seungmin ran in. "I'm going to change. Taylor got off early, she's on the way up." Jeongin walked out looking like a model. "Are you trying to get jumped tonight?" Bee asked as she laughed. "No. I just know I look good." The two girls roll their eyes at the boy. Taylor walked in and smiled. "You all look so good." Seungmin walked out and smiled. "Alright. We ready to go?" The girls nodded and everyone headed out the door. "Blue. Why do you have Minho's name on your neck?" Seungmin asked. "He's her soulmate. It appeared after they ran into each other." Bee told Seungmin. Seungmin smiled. "I'm finally getting rid of you. Sweet." Blue punched him in the arm. "Ouch." "This is why she's mean to you." Taylor laughed as she got into the car, the other three following. Seungmin pouted and got in the front seat. 

They got parked and walked in the doors. They walked into the room and smiled as the other three boys waved at them. "Hey guys." Chan smiled and gave each of them a hug. "Damn, what's got you all dressed up?" Han smirked at Blue. "Minho asked me to go to dinner after this." He smiled. "Aw. Cute." She smacked his arm lightly. "Blue." She spun and saw Felix. "Aren't you supposed to be in the back?" She giggled as he threw his arms around her. "Guess what." She whispered. "What?" He whispered back. "Minho's my soulmate." He pulled back and looked at her. "Where is it?" She raised an eyebrow. "Where's that tattoo?" She turned around and pointed to her neck. There it was. Lee Minho in black ink on the back of her neck. He smiled and turned her back around. He grabbed her cheeks and pushed them together, making her lips poke out. "Ask him where yours is." She nodded at Felix. "You need to get in the back before you get into trouble by Minho. He'll come out here glaring. Go." Changbin told Felix. Felix let go of Blue and went to Changbin. He kissed him quickly and ran to the back. 

There were six groups tonight. Each group had a different style. Each group had to perform two songs. One after the other. They told them to put a spin on it this year. The first group was The Mills. They did a slow song for the first one. The second song was a faster song. The spin was the flipped the routine with both songs but changed it to match. It wasn't awful. Next was Danceracha. They were in all black and stood in the middle of the stage. They started dancing to the music. Then they started singing. Blue watched in amazement. None of them said they could sing. They ended the song and everyone started to cheer. She turned to Han and punched his arm lightly. "How are you three not going to tell us they sing like that?" She pointed to the stage. "Sorry?" Han smiled. "They wanted to surprise you guys." "Well surprised I am, what's the name of the song?" Blue mumbled. "Taste. The next one is Wow." The next song started and they started singing again and dancing again. Blue watched the three move around the stage like they owned it. They did. There was no way the rest had a shot after this. Minho found Blue's eyes and smiled at her. "Just wanna be with you." He sang to her. She blushed and watched him smile as he finished out the song. "That's one way to ask someone out." Bee giggled next to Blue. The next group came out and set up.

Blue couldn't pay attention to anything after that. Like so deep into thought that Han had to push her to get her to answer him. "What?" "Are you okay?" She nodded. "Yeah. Sorry. Went deep into thought, thanks for pulling me out." Han nodded. "They're about to call out the winners." She raised an eyebrow. "Damn, I really was gone." He nodded, giggling with her. They watched all the groups come on stage and she laughed as she saw Felix waving at them. They all waved back and she noticed Minho had been put in purple. "That's why Felix came out here, wasn't it?" She looked at Changbin. He chuckled and nodded. "Wanted to match you two." They all went silent as they called out the winners. "Third place, Mediocre. Second place, Mills. First place, Danceracha." They all stood up and cheered for the three. They smiled as they held up the trophy. "Thank you for coming out." 

The guys jumped off the stage and walked over to the group. People kept congratulating the three. Blue pulled Minho away from the group and smiled up at him. "When were you going to tell me?" He raised an eyebrow. "Tell you what?" "That we were soulmates." He chuckled. "When you found out on your end. I didn't want to make you feel like we had to be together." She smiled at him and grabbed his hand, kissing his finger tips. "You want to see it?" He nodded and she turned around. She felt lips on her neck and sighed. He turned her back around and put her hand on his ribs. "Mines right here. Saw it right after we ran into each other. Felix made it his goal to find you. Turns out he didn't have to look far since he's friends with Jeongin." "Did you still want to go eat?" He smiled. "Of course. I meant what I said. I just wanna be with you." She giggled and pulled him down to her. He went to kiss her when there was a cough. "I'm sorry for breaking this up, but they need you for pictures." They heard a man say. Minho turned and glared at the man. "Come on. The faster the pictures are done, the quicker we can get to the date." She smiled at him as she drug him back to the group.

"Thank you. Dinner was great." She smiled at Minho. "Wanna walk around for a little bit?" Minho asked her. She nodded. Soon they were at the pool at the apartments Blue lives at. No one was out there. She looked at him and smiled. "Strip." He raised an eyebrow and watched her strip out her skirt and her jacket and shirt. She was in a tank top and shorts. She looked at him. "Come on." She told him as she walked into the pool. She swam over to the edge where he was at and tilted her head. "Come on, I'll hold you the whole time." She smiled. He took a deep breathe and stripped down to his boxers. He slid into the pool next to her and smiled as she pulled his arm up. She kissed his rib were her name was, copying him from earlier. She wrapped her arms around his neck and put her head on his chest. "Thank you." She whispered. "For what?" She smiled and looked up at him. "Showing me love. The only two who ever showed me were Seungmin and Jeongin. They're my best friends. They helped me move here. It's a different type of love from them. Like sibling love. You make it feel like life is worth it again and you make me feel at home and-" He pressed his lips to hers. The bond flowed through the two, like warmth on a sunny day, like fire from a bonfire, heat from a freshly baked cake. He pulled away and leaned his forehead on hers. "You are my home. You are home." He told her. She pulled his face back down to hers and kissed him again. 

So the next part is going to branch off into Han's story. I'll be doing a series for all the guys. I'm going to do a short thing for Seungmin and Taylor and Bee and Hyunjin. And I have a idea for Felix and Changbin. Jeongin and Chan will also have one. Thank you for reading these! I've had a lot of fun and knowing people like reading it, making me smile. Masterlist The boys / The girls Chapter 8 / Chapter 10

Bonus: Outfits

[lykatulips]

rating my tiktok budol finds (sorry sa quality ng photo (ಥ﹏ಥ)

funsace contour palette (8/10) - nabili ko lang siya for only 80pesos. i only like the two highlighters pero yung contour di bagay sakin.

pinkflash ohmylove multiple eyeshadow, shade 02 (10/10) - maganda yung pigment niya. i like the shimmer shades. di ko lang masyado magamit palagi kasi more on pink shades siya so di siya pwede for simple look. plus, this palette has highlighter, 2 shades of blush and also a contour. the price of this palette is 209 but i bought for only 50php. what a great steal!

funsace blush palette (9/10) - my most used powder blush. same price lang sa contour palette. di na ako bumibili ng ibang powder blush dahil dito pa lang, okay na ako. long lasting din siya.

otwoo lenghtening (8/10) and volumizing mascara (9/10) - perfect dupe for maybelline skyhigh. waterproof and smudgeproof silang dalawa. i just don't like the lenghtening kasi para siyang dry and a little bit clumpy. pero promise, if you use both of this otwoo mascara, you'll get a long lashes effect (huy, hindi yung bonggang haba ha)

otwoo blush shade 06 (nasa middle ng mascaras) (100/10) - the only cream blush that i love. ang ganda niya kahit oily ako. the only pink shade that suits my skin. hindi siya yung pakak na pink, parang kinilig ka lang.

maybelline fit me concealer (25) and skintint (05) (utang ng pilipinas/10) - if wala ka pa nitong skintint, bilhin mo na. it has a light-medium coverage and may spf na din. ginagawa ko siyang sunscreen. sa concealer naman, maganda siya for dark circles.

squad cosmetic melon mist (7.5/10) - idk, sabi ng mga nakatry nito it does hold the makeup kahit oily skin pero when i tried it, nahulas agad ako wala pang 2hrs. it's moisturizing naman, but i don't recommend using this after applying makeup kasi matatanggal siya. and what i don't like about it this mist, wala siyang expiration date na nakalagay.

gorgeous glow my pink serum (7.5/10), kjm cosmetics liptint (9/10) - if you're always on tiktok, you'll know this serum was a trend. ayoko sa dark lips ko and i have seen many reviews about this serum na nakakalighten daw talaga siya ng lips. i bought it when it was on sale and bi, habang tumatagal lalong nagddry yung lips ko. the shade was too pink din. and i don't find this moisturizing. the kjm liptint naman was a hype back then esp. the shade bittersweet magenta. sobrang ganda naman talaga ng shade and perfect for everyday use pero di siya nagsstay sa middle ng lips ko. parang if i put my lips together to spread the tint, natatanggal siya so i have to reapply then patutuyuin ko siya the apply ulit. di din siya long lasting. pero the shade, binabalik balikan talaga.

careline brow pencil shadebrunette (buhok ko/10) - this is indeed my holy grail when it comes to brows! alam ko madaming magagandang eyebrow product out there pero iba pa din talaga ang careline best brow. ang natural niyang tignan and buildable din. iykyk

focallure airy matte tint shade 202 (9.5/10) - perfect na sana kung di lang mapait yung lasa niya. long lasting siya, not gonna lie and the perfect 202 is my mlbb. it is powdert finish pero di yung powdery na uncomfortable. sana mabago nila yung taste ng tint lol

blk blush shade daffodil (8/10) - di bagay sakin yung shade pero if maputi ka, then you should try this. the applictor is doe foot and it is multi-use. kaso ang downside lang sa kanya ay messy yung packaging so if dadalhin mo siya dapat nakatayo. a little goes a long way sa product na 'to, dapat marunong ka magcontrol or else magmumukha kang sassa girl

[leafatlas]

This $9 L'Oréal Primer & Mascara Delivers Peak Volume, Length & Lift

Our writers and editors independently determine what we cover and recommend. When you buy through our link, E! can get a commission. Learn more. On a good day, my lashes are “good”. They can get a little boost with mascarabut they are not there for TikTok. However, when I use primary Before my mascara, my eyelashes were suddenly “popping.” And one product I find myself returning to again and…

[buzzbeat]

This $9 L'Oréal Primer & Mascara Delivers Peak Volume, Length & Lift

Our writers and editors independently determine what we cover and recommend. When you purchase through our links, E! may earn a commission. Learn more. On a good day my lashes are “fine”. They can get a little boost with mascarabut they are nothing for TikTok. However, when I use prime before my mascara, my lashes are suddenly “babies”. And the one product I find myself returning to again and…

[metacriticc-news]

This $9 L'Oréal Primer & Mascara delivers peak volume, length and lift

Our writers and editors independently decide what we cover and recommend. When you purchase through our links, E! may earn a commission. Learn more. On a good day, my lashes are “fine”. They might get a little lift with mascara, but they’re nothing to TikTok about. But when I use primer before my mascara, my lashes suddenly “pop”. And the one product I return to again and again for the best…

[hazeltailofficial]

Super quick and easy makeup of the day

Tarte Maracuja Creaseless Concealer in Fair Laura Geller Baked Balance N Brighten Color Correcting Foundation in Porcelain Almay Brow Styler Brow Mascara in Light Brown Milani Eyeshadow Primer The Crème Shop Pusheen Strawberry Daydream 9 Color Palette (Snackies + Crème + Naptime + Marshmallow) Colourpop Bff Liquid Liner in Numero Uno Tarte Lights, Camera, Lashes 4-In-1 Mascara

@hazeltailofficial / @hazeltail / hazeltail on youtube / hazeltailofficial on tiktok / hazeltailofficial on ig

[kamiartist9]

Baddie Maddy vibes. Feeling Euphoric 🤩 #Concealer | @milanicosmetics conceal + perfect shade 155 cool sand #Primer | @mentedcosmetics “Perfect Prime” stix (get 15% off MentedCosmetics products using promocode “Kami15” <link in bio>) #Bronzer | @mentedcosmetics “vacay” (get 15% off MentedCosmetics products using promocode “Kami15” <link in bio>) #Brows | @halfmagicbeauty grippie brow #eyeshadow | @toofaced then & now palette 🎨 #rhinestones | @amazon #eyeliner | @bennyemakeup black EP-9 #Mascara | @lorealparis lash paradise #Lipstain | @imancosmetics nut 🌰 bush eyeliner & @mentedcosmetics peachy keen #SettingSpray | @urbandecaycosmetics “all nighter” #SettingPowder | @maybelline fit me no. 310 sun beige #mua #makeupartist #photooftheday #model #pride #blackgirlmagic #tiktok #makeuplover #instagram #mentedcosmetics #rhinestones #glittermakeup #euphoria #nofoundation #euphoriamakeup #euphoriaMaddy https://www.instagram.com/p/Co76MZkuue3/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[wiadomosciprasowe]

Gwiazdy TikToka wspierają Stars.Space. Spółka rozpoczyna w tym tygodniu ofertę publiczną akcji

https://www.y6.no/gwiazdy-tiktoka-wspieraja-stars-space-spolka-rozpoczyna-w-tym-tygodniu-oferte-publiczna-akcji/

Gwiazdy TikToka wspierają Stars.Space. Spółka rozpoczyna w tym tygodniu ofertę publiczną akcji

Informacja prasowa Warszawa, 5 października 2021 r.

Gwiazdy TikToka wspierają Stars.Space. Spółka rozpoczyna w tym tygodniu ofertę publiczną akcji

Mary (Maria Jeleniewska), popularnie nazywana polską królową TikToka oraz Wersow (Weronika Sowa) i Lexy (Lexy Chaplin), gwiazdy social mediów będą twarzami kampanii marketingowej produktów marki Stars from the Stars, należącej do spółki Stars.Space S.A. Łącznie TikTokowe profile twórczyń mają 17,9 mln obserwujących. 10 października 2021 r. startuje kampania marketingowa kosmetyków nowej marki z udziałem popularnych influencerek. Jeszcze wcześniej, 7 października spółka rozpocznie emisję akcji w formule crowdinvestingu. Oferta publiczna akcji Stars.Space S.A będzie zaprezentowana na platformie CrowdConnect, a w planie jest pozyskanie do 4,55 mln złotych.

Stars.Space, specjalizująca się w monetyzacji influencer marketingu, w ubiegłym tygodniu uruchomiła sklep internetowy i zaczęła wprowadzać kosmetyki marki Stars from the Stars na półki ponad 1500 drogerii Rossmann. W kampanię marketingową kosmetyków, która rusza 10 października będzie zaangażowanych ponad 100 influencerów związanych z platformą społecznościową TikTok.

– Marketing nowej marki oparliśmy w dużej mierze o ekosystem TikToka. Jest to obecnie najpopularniejsza i najczęściej pobierana aplikacja na świecie. Dowodem na niezwykły potencjał TikToka są wcześniejsze doświadczenia w pracy dla marki OnlyBioLife, której profil na tej platformie przekroczył 100 tysięcy obserwujących i jest pod tym względem numerem jeden w kategorii beauty w Polsce. Ze sprzedażą Stars from the Stars ruszyliśmy w ubiegłym tygodniu, a profil ma już ponad 6 tys. obserwujących. W najbliższym czasie pokażemy na liczbach jak to zainteresowanie przekłada się na sprzedaż kosmetyków – podkreśla Maciej Zegarski, prezes zarządu Stars.Space S.A.

Spółka stawia również na kanał offline, która jest realizowana przez sieć drogerii Rossmann. W trakcie kampanii marketingowej półki z kosmetykami Stars from the Stars będą oznaczone logiem TikToka. – Rossmann to nasz wyłączny partner na Polskę. Rodzimy rynek tak naprawdę to nasz pierwszy krok. Prowadzimy już zaawansowane analizy związane z wejściem na rynki międzynarodowe. W przyszłym roku chcemy pojawić się w Rosji oraz w krajach Bliskiego Wschodu. Na tych rynkach TikTok również będzie naszym partnerem marketingowym – zaznacza Maciej Zegarski.

Stars.Space rozpoczyna w tym tygodniu ofertę publiczną akcji, która potrwa do 20 października 2021 r.. Spółka planuje pozyskać do 4,55 mln złotych (13,1% udział w kapitale zakładowym) na poszerzenie oferty produktowej i budowę zasięgu marki Stars from the Stars. Informacje dotyczące oferty publicznej akcji spółki będą prezentowane na platformie CrowdConnect.pl, a firmą inwestycyjną wykonującą usługę oferowania akcji będzie Dom Maklerski INC S.A. Po zakończeniu oferty publicznej Stars.Space planuje rozpocząć działania związane z wprowadzeniem akcji do obrotu na NewConnect.

—————————-

O Spółce: Stars.Space S.A. to spółka zależna należąca do grupy Hub.Tech. Firma specjalizuje się w monetyzacji influencer marketingu. Stars.Space skupia się na przewidywaniu trendów na rynku konsumenckim przy wykorzystaniu sztucznej inteligencji, analizy Big Data oraz technologii VR. Firma zajmuje się tworzeniem produktów inspirowanych kosmosem i już wprowadziła na rynek pierwszą linię kosmetyków.

Stars.Space od początku działania skierowana jest na działalność na międzynarodowych rynkach, na których partnerem marketingowym jest TikTok, a sama platforma wiodącym kanałem budowania wizerunku marki.

[euthonia]

stars - episode i

lilia pov

I woke up from my comfy white covers to the bright sun shining on my face. 

            God, I need to remember to close the damn windows before I go to sleep..

I groan as I get up from my comfy bed. My phone layed on the bedside table, and it starting to vibrate and buzz.

I picked up my phone, and answered the voice call.

     "Clay! What's up?" I asked, rubbing my eyes before setting my phone down back on the marble counter.

      "Hey! I was wondering if you wanted to come over today. Like maybe, around 10:30?" Clay questioned.

     I looked over at the clock hanging on my wall.9:00 am. If I ate a quick breakfast, I can have plenty of time to get ready.

     "Sounds good! I'll see you then." I answered, softly smiling.

"Okay, bye!" 

"Bye." I replied, hanging up. I yawned,

I quickly shoved the cereal down, and cleaned up. I rushed upstairs, and decided to take a shower. After my shower, I got dressed and picked out my shoes.

I decided to wear a white crop top, baggy ripped jeans, and a matching star necklace and earrings set. I did some light makeup, which was just mascara and blush. I also grabbed my Nike socks and air forces.

I opened the hallway closet and picked out a white mini backpack to match my outfit, and placed my phone charger, scrunchies, and lip balm inside. I then started to walk outside of my apartment, and headed my way to Clay's house, or "mansion" as I shouldreally call it.  I also took out my AirPods from my pocket, and played one of my Spotify playlists.  

(the Spotify playlist linked for this story is in the story description!)

something about you - eyedress, dent may

devil town - cavetown

my kind of woman - mac demarco

no wind resistance! - kinneret

Finally, I arrived at Clay's and Nick's shared "mansion". Knocking on the door, I realized I had a spare key on me. I unlocked the door, and entered into the hall. Patches greeted me at the door, purring and rubbing against my right leg.

     "Aw, hello sweetie. I just love you so much!! Yes, I do!" I baby talked, slowly rubbing Patches soft fur.

    "I guess Patches got a new favorite now." Someone said in the distance, chuckling at their own comment. I looked up, to see Nick staring at me, leaning against a wall.

"Oh, hey Nick. Is Clay upstairs?" I questioned.

"Yeah, he might be on a call with some of the SMP members though. I think they were talking about lore or something along the lines of that. Feel free to grab a drink from the fridge if you want it!" Nick answered.

"Okay, thanks Nick!" I replied, picking up Patches and running upstairs with her in my arms.

I walked down the long hallway, seeing framed pictures of Clay and his family, or printed out MCC screenshots along the wall. I giggled at the photos, and I finally reached Clay's recording room. 

    "God Clay, could your house like, stop growing? Maybe donate a room or two more to me." I joked, giggling as I playfully punched his arm. I looked over to his open monitors, to see he was on a call.

And he wasn't on mute.

"WOMAN??" A voice yelled through the speakers.

"Do you have facecam on?" I asked.

"No, I don't. No one is streaming right now either, do you want to say hi? It's Niki, Phil, Wilbur, andRanbooon the call." Clay answered.

"Why did he say Ranboo's name like that...?" I thought to myself as I raised towards eyebrow at him, and walked over closer to his setup. "Uh, hi? I'm Lilia"

A calming, sweet female voice came over. I knew it was Niki right away. "Oh! I know you. You're lilysage on twitch, right? I've seen your streams a couple times."

"Yup, that's me!" I responded, smiling to myself thatTHENiki Nihachu has watched my streams!

"Alright, well, I'm gonna go. Bye guys!" Clay said, hanging up and closing Discord.

I flopped down on his bed, grabbing my phone and scrolling through tiktok.

 "Hey Clay, why did you say Ranboo weirdly?" I questioned, looking over at him.

Clay only gave a smirk as a response.

 I ignored his "response", and kept scrolling. On my FYP, I saw a minecraft building tutorial. It was a small cottage, and had been surronded by cute flowers and vines. I loved it!

   "Clay! I found this cute cottage, can we build it on stream?" I showed him my phone.

"Yeah, sure! Let's stream on your account. Speaking of minecraft, do you want to join the Dream SMP..?"

"Uh, YES! I just need the server details." (Y'ALL I DONT PLAY MINECRAFT SO I DONT KNOW THAT MUCH !!! 💀)

Clay gave me the server details, and I headed into a little room he made me pretty recently. I had my own gaming set up and everything I needed for streaming. I even had my own bed in there!

My setup was mostly a light green theme, with three monitors, my laptop, a matching  green keyboard and mouse with animal crossing stickers, and a simple black mic. I opened up TwitchLabs and Discord and set up my stream. I put on my "Starting Soon! <3" screen before speaking into the mic.

"Hello, my loves! How are we doing today, chat?" 

lisanotfound: good hruu :)

user5656: doing better 

mirawastakenbydream: <3

lilsuperfan: i love ur streams plsssss notice!!!

"Cool, cool! Glad everyone is doing well." I smiled. "Today we're going to just be doing a chill minecraft stream, and building a cottage! I'll be joined by dream today as well! And, I'm now on the Dream SMP! I just have to log in." I said, looking to my webcam.

Dream unmuted. "Hi chat!"

I opened my gameplay screen, and started up minecraft. I entered in the code, and bam! I was finally in the Dream SMP.

I was greeted on my screen by Tubbo and Tommyinnit. I knew about everyone on the server, as I was a pretty active dream smp watcher.

I also joined the Dream SMP member discord server, which Dream had invited me in. We both left our call, and joined VC 3, in which Tommy and Tubbo were talking.

"HELLO WOMAN. HOW OLD ARE YOU?" Tommy yelled in the mic.

I covered my ears. "Jeez. I'm 18." 

"See Tommy! I told you she'll be older. Wait, what's your pronouns?" Tubbo asked, punching tommy.

" I use she/her pronouns. Thanks for asking!" 

"Okay, cool!" Tubbo responded. I could tell he was smiling from the sound of his voice, even though his camera wasn't on.

"Hey boys- wait, who's this? Oh, wait, you're Lilia, right? From the call earlier?" A  voice spoke. Ranboo!

"Yeah, that's me! Feel free to call me Lily by the way. I'm streaming right now if you want to say hi to my chat!" I smiled.

"Oh, hi chat!" Ranboo said.

elisawasnotfound: RANBOO!!!! :D

markjacobs: ranboob?????

aestheticgreenteasea: BOOB MANNNN

I giggled at the funny messages. "My chat's calling you boob man, Ranboo!" 

"Chat. Please, calm yourself." Tommy spoke. ( WHO GOT THE CARROTS??) Dream wheezed at his remarks.

"DREAM! I CAN HEAR YOUR FUCKING WHEEZE FROM MY ROOM!"

That made Dream wheeze even harder.

"Alright chat, let's build that cottage, shall we?" 

- time skip brought to you by FORD. BUILT DIFFERENT. (about an hour or so later) -

"Thank god it's done! That took forever." Tubbo sighed.

"Yeah! I'm going to end stream here. Bye chat!" I waved, and ended. I leaned back in my gaming chair.

"Alright, I have to go home now... Bye guys!!!" Everyone said bye, and I left the call and walked over to Dream's room.

"I'll see you later?" 

"Yup! Bye Lilia"

I went downstairs, and grabbed my backpack. I gave one last pet to Patches, and headed out the door. 

I guess I'm in the Dream SMP now.

___________________________________________________________

OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER TOOK FOREVER JHKSHJSDHKJD

i havent writen in a hot minute so this chapter is gonna be really shitty sorry!!!

i hope you have a good day! make sure to eat and drink some water, and take your meds if you have any! love y'all :)

1334 words! MOOTS!!

@gaytoadwithapopsicle

@ador3him

@sapphyrebur @jubiilee13

@hollywoodbonez

@sanderchu

[dingdonghyvck]

Still Into You || Lee Haechan x Reader

Summary: Not a day goes by that Haechan’s not into you.

Genre: Angst

Pairing/s: Drummer!Haechan x Lead Vocalist!Reader, Minor College Student!Mark x Reader

Warnings: Explicit language, suggestive, mentions of sex and a few sex jokes, alcohol and cigarettes, cheating, manipulation of feelings, angst, and a few others I probably forgot to mention.

Word Count: 4.9k-ish

So I’ve been seeing a lot of Haechan drummer au’s on TikTok, so I thought fuck it and made one! I hope you like it :)

You can read Part two here: The Only Exception

“Can't count the years on one hand that we've been together,

I need the other one to hold you, make you feel, make you feel better.”

Donghyuck's pretty sure that you're the only person from high school that he still bothers to be around, it's been approximately 9 years since the day you two met. 9 years since the day he awkwardly sat next to you in seventh grade, 9 years since the day you drew dick doodles in his notebook as a form of icebreaker since you didn't know any other way of talking to him. It was safe to say that he was more than surprised to see flying dick doodles in his spiral notebook when he got back to class after lunch, still he was somehow amused by the scribbles and the little message you left him introducing yourself.

He immediately talked to you the moment you came  back inside the classroom with your earphones in. He still remembers it so clearly, the way you offered him the left piece of your earphones so you two can listen to music in secret, the teacher had already arrived and you two didn't have enough time to speak to each other. Donghyuck would say it was fate, others would say paramore's just too mainstream, but he didn't care. A cute girl liked the same bands as him, so he made it his goal to get closer to you.

And so you two bonded over music, something you both loved with your whole heart and soul. It was through countless concerts and after-school trips to the record store that got you closer and soon enough you two started messing with GarageBand, creating a few silly songs that were the epitome of teen angst, it was always in good fun. But Donghyuck suddenly came to you with a brilliant proposal one calm afternoon when you were hanging out his room.

"So there's like a battle of the bands at school every year... You sing right? Do you feel like making a band?"

"Yeah, sure..." You had shrugged mindlessly while painting his pinky finger black, mind a bit pre-occupied with what was happening back at home. But Donghyuck takes no notice from this, it was a simple reply but he didn't bother to press further, he could just rally up a few of his friends to start up this band, and if you ever do complain he can also scream blasphemy in your face. Plus he was enjoying the calm atmosphere, so he didn't want to ask any more questions. Well it was as calming as it could get since All Time Low was blasting through his bedroom's speakers, volume maxed out to the point it could make anyone’s ears bleed.

It took him quite a while to fill in missing band mates since you two weren't the most liked people at school, but eventually after a few persuasive talks over milkshakes you two have built a band by the end of February, a little too late for the battle of the bands event. But you all decided that it would be fun to congregate as the band geeks instead of going back to being the outcasts of the school. So practices were held in your basement everyday, you insisted on it since you were trying to spite your parents as much as you could, you hated your life at home, but you could bear the presence of your family if you had some friends around.

Skip a few years and here you are again as "The Innocents"—you honestly don't know why you agreed to the stupid band name, but you lacked the creativity and energy to argue with a caffeinated Donghyuck at 4 am when he had proposed it to the group chat. Although Hendery had complained fifteen times before practice that day, everyone still ended up in your basement, practicing for the annual battle of that bands event your school held, a final hurrah before ending high school.

Donghyuck loved playing the drums, he was drawn to the instrument since a young age so he did he have a natural sense of beat and rhythm. But what he liked the most was the view he got from the back. Not only could he watch the whole band work around the stage, he also had the best view of you. He enjoyed watching you jump around, how you would sometimes lick the side of Jeno’s face whenever you felt a bit mischievous, the way you would laugh at the middle finger he'd throw at you, the way you'd practically lay yourself down the center of the stage as you sang your heart out.

You naturally had the talent, that much was certain. Donghyuck always felt entranced whenever you took on the stage bravely, being the frontman was of course the most challenging position of all. But the way you handled the spotlight made it look so easy, as if you were made to be holding a mic since birth. It was as if you were dancing your own symphony and the rest of the band was nothing but a harmony struggling to follow through since your energy was too overwhelming at times.

But somehow you always made it work, no matter how much your band mates hated it, there was always something unique about the way you presented yourself onstage, demanding the audience's attention. No one was brave enough to even try being in your position, so they had let you bask in the limelight for the most part. But there was particular day you seemed different, as if you had been tuned down. There was something wrong and it was obvious enough to everyone that Jeno had to make up an excuse to leave early with Hendery. They had left abruptly to let you talk it out with Donghyuck, since well, he's your best friend.

Little did they know that you two have been casually fucking for the past year since the time Donghyuck confessed his feelings for you. You haven't given the relationship between you two a label since you weren’t really one to be tied down, but he was glad enough to be even be able to hold you.

You reveal to him that your parents were about to get a divorce, and as much as a shock it was to receive this news, what shocked him more was the moment you sat on his lap. You two were still situated in front of the drum set, but Donghyuck didn't seem to mind. So he helps you take your seat, arms wrapping around your waist as your fingers find its way onto the little hairs at the back of his neck, Donghyuck gulps when he sees you bring out a stick of cigarette.

"What? I'm stressed," You smiled wearily as you lit the cigarette. You take a sharp inhale before blowing the smoke to his face, he scrunches his nose.

"Are you sure you're okay? divorces can be-"

You cut him off by placing the lit cigarette to his lips, the tiny smirk on your face made him frown. You raised an eyebrow at him while you waited, you really didn't feel like talking about your parents, so you evaded it the the same way you'd usually evade him whenever he brought up anything about feelings. He paused for a moment to look at you before inhaling from the cigarette, immediately coughing afterwards. His eyes a little teary as he muttered a small "jesus christ”, you giggled before taking his face into your hands. You push back a few strands of hair as you admired his forehead, he had done nothing but stare back at you.

"Don't tell me you'll leave me too" you whispered as you nuzzled your nose against his neck.

Donghyuck lets out the breath he was holding, gently caressing your backside as he chuckled, finally relaxing into your arms. He knew that it was wrong for you two to not speak about your personal lives that much, since it was pretty obvious you were having troubles at home. But he knew how much you hated to feel feelings, so he never overstepped boundaries. He lets you be for the most part, except for times he reminded you that it’s okay to open up to him. You were always quick dismiss him, telling him you were a big girl and you didn't want to bother or burden him. As much as he'd like to keep insisting, he'd rather just leave you be.

"If I say I love you will you stay forever?" you mumbled as you kissed the mole on his neck, smudging a bit of lipstick on his sun-kissed skin.

Donghyuck felt his heart drop to his stomach,  taking your face into his large palms, caging you into his gaze to see if you were joking, or if you had any doubts behind your gaze. but he was met with the softest gaze he's ever seen on you. Your mascara and eyeliner were running down your cheeks, the little black heart you drew in this morning was smudged to a dot on your pretty face. And a few might say you looked like a mess as tears rimmed your eyes, donghyuck could only think about how much he wanted to kiss you.

"You'll always have me" he whispered, bringing your face towards his. It felt hot, too hot that his skin actually felt like burning the moment your hands touched his backside under his shirt. the kiss was passionate, filled with so much heat and lust that it felt dangerous, he was seconds away from being burned alive; but you suddenly pulled away.

"I love you," you whispered against his mouth, lips brushing past each other as each syllable left your mouth. Your nose gently touched his as you breathed him in, gripping onto his biceps as best as you can, desperate in needing to feel him against you.

Donghyuck does not reply, he simply brings your lips back to his. And as much as he wanted to be more gentle, to take his time with you and make you feel how much he worshipped your body, but your passion burnt too hot that he couldn't smother it. He lets it consume him, his whole being as he loses himself in you, too consumed by your flare and embers to notice how he was slowly burning himself out, that he himself was going to be smothered by you.

“It's not a walk in the park to love each other.                                      

But when our fingers interlock, can't deny, can't deny, you're the worth it.”

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this!?" you screamed, eyes reddening from stress as you pulled at your hair, hard enough to rip a few strands out.

"Johnny's just a fucking friend!" you continued, about to leave the room to run away but he cages you against the wall, hands gripping your shoulders harshly, he was bound to leave marks.

"Baby i'm pretty sure friends don't suck each other off in restaurant bathrooms" he snarled, his voice masked with so much venom that if it were a different person they would be quivering with their knees buckling, but you were different, so you stood your ground.

"I already said I love you what do you fucking want from me?" you laughed coldly, crossing your arms against your chest.

"Love... I'm your boyfriend, I don't know how fucked up your brain is, but don’t tell me you don't know what a boyfriend is." he groans in annoyance, pushing himself away from you. The fighting had been so frequent that you two would be at each other's throats more often than not. The added stress from university and his side jobs was finally ticking him off, he was at his breaking point and he didn't know how long he could still be with you when you were blatantly cheating on him.

"Let's break up then." you muttered, looking down at your feet.

"Fine." He mumbled in defeat, taking a seat on the couch. He buries his face into his palms, trying his best to calm down while his breathing increased. He didn't realized what he had agreed to until he heard his door slam shut. That was the moment he knew he made a mistake, he had let you go too easily. You on the other hand, couldn't help but be the happiest you've been the whole week, finally free. And while Donghyuck was left to try and fix what was left between the two of you, you were out to get coffee, living freely as if nothing had happened.

“Cause after all this time                                         

I'm still into you...”

You sang with the tiniest smile, hiding behind your bangs as you tried your best to jump around the stage and keep eye contact with the blonde male sat front row. It's been 8 months since you and donghyuck broke up and yet you've already found a new boy, some dude you accidentally spilled coffee on. Some random dude who asked for your number and you easily said yes, some random dude that caught your eye. Although it's been months since the breakup, Donghyuck couldn’t help but feel bitter; you had broken his world in half and somehow you still looked fine.

A normal person would walk away. A normal person would leave you and realize how toxic and dangerous you were to the people around you, how you pushed everyone away the second they get too close. But somehow Donghyuck was different, he doesn't know why or how he's doing it, but he sticks by your side. Agreeing to still be in the band and staying as friends, since of course we all fuck our best friends once in our lives right? But like the dumb lapdog he was, he accepted your apology at 12 am in the morning when you showed up drunk at his doorstep. Maybe it was the side of him desperately clinging onto you, looking for some sort of closure or any sign of you regretting the breakup, but months had passed and the days seemed normal for you.

He knew how wrong it was, don't mistake him for someone who's stupid enough to let a girl trample over his heart. He somehow just couldn’t keep away, you had broken him to the point that he didn't want anyone else unless it was you. It really was all so stupid in retrospect. He's handsome, irresistible, and incredibly hot so he could easily grab anyone he wanted but somehow he always ends up pining after you.

No matter how many girls and guys he sees he always ends up in the exact same spot, in the back, sat on his drum set to watch you jump around and light up the stage. But this time you brought a whole different aura, it was his first time seeing you shy. Was it that random Mark guy you started seeing? It's not likely that you'd let the guy stick around, you hated being tied down.  Yet Donghyuck feared this was different, since well, you really seemed off this week since you met Mark.

You don’t even show up at his place shit-faced at 3am every weekend anymore. You even attended some of your classes because Mark would be in them. You smoked less and it seemed like you were finally getting your life together. Did this stranger have that kind of effect on you? Nevertheless Donghyuck could feel the anger bubble in his stomach as he hams up his drumming, annoyed and frustrated at how hard you were to read. he didn't notice that he had been banging at the drums so loud that it muffled out your singing, confusing both Jeno and Hendery who were eyeing him from the sidelines. This continues until the end of the song, but you didn't seem to mind since you decided to ignore it, busy staring at Mark as he smiled shyly at you, raising his glass as you continued to sing your heart out.

“I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you.      

And even baby our worst nights I’m into you, I'm into you.”

After the last set, you were gulping down the beer Jeno handed you, messily wiping your lips with the back of your hand as you looked for a blonde college boy in the crowd. It wasn't long until you're met with the cutest smiles, his shy eyes hiding behind his glasses as he complemented how great you were, it was his first time watching you sing.

"I wasn't that bad was I?" you asked, giggling playfully, you placed the empty bottle on the counter behind him.

"You were great! the best even," he chuckled as he wrapped his arm around you, his scent engulfed you. You gladly tucked yourself into his arm, you fitted perfectly.

"Mhmm? Then why can't you look me in the face?" you challenged, laughing at the way Mark coughed up his drink from embarrassment.

"Well I don't usually see you dressed up.... like this" he mumbled shyly, of course he hasn't. What you were wearing wasn't necessarily your Sunday's best. You’re pretty sure Mark's father, who's a pastor, wouldn't be too happy to see you showing up for a family dinner in a lace crop top and ripped skinny jeans.

"It's how I usually dress for the gigs, it's not ugly is it...?" you pouted, and as much as you hated acting cute, you loved watching Mark squirm.

Mark wasn't even able to reply when your band mates' presence was made known by  Hendery who ordered everything available in the bar. You couldn't help but giggle while watching your friend drink shot after shot, he offered you some but you declined since you didn't want to get shit-faced in front of Mark, you were better than that. You knew he was totally out of your league, being the perfect christian college boy studying english literature, he's probably the type who'll marry a pretty trophy wife that will give him three beautiful kids. You didn't even know why Mark gave you a chance, you were practically trash on the side of the road compared to him.You were struggling enough to get by with the gigs and college funds, but he doesn’t seem to mind when you would come up empty-handed during dates, he would gladly spoil you— so consider yourself lucky.

"Hyuck you're not looking too hot" Jeno says it while checking the drummer’s temperature, the brunette simply pushed his hand away, trying his best to avoid your gaze.

"I'm fine" he rolled his eyes, opening a few buttons of his silk shirt, grabbing the attention of some of the ladies near the bar.

"What do you mean? Hyuck's hot as fuck!" Hendery shouted, most probably drunk. Jeno tries to pull the shot glass away but it only ends up spilling all over the counter, Mark scrunches his nose in disgust.

"Wouldn't you know?" Hendery continued pointing towards you, he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Mark's arm drop from your shoulder, you suddenly freeze from his comment.

"Yeah wouldn't you know sunflower?" Donghyuck smirked, eyes meeting with those of Mark's who looked uncomfortable. You tried shooting him a glare, telling him to stop ruining your night, you wanted to finally shoot your shot with Mark. The blonde made you feel different, he made you feel stable and safe, it’s been a long time since you last felt this way. You didn’t even know you were still capable of developing feelings and you haven't felt this way towards anyone so you really didn't want to mess it up. But to your anguish, Mark's curiosity got the better of him.

"Oh yo wait, so you two... were a thing?" Mark coughed awkwardly, his hand going to grip your waist which made you perk up.

"Yeah we've known each other for quite... some time, so it's natural that we've tried stuff" Donghyuck shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets to hide the way he's balling up his fists.

"Yeah but that was like a decade ago, we don't really-"

"Pretty sure 8 months isn't a decade long love" Donghyuck raised his eyebrow, a little smirk makes his way as he sees Mark's grip on your waist falter.

"So do you two still...?"

"No! No, never again... Why would I when I already have you?" you immediately cut Mark off, he's startled by your reply but he still smiles at you, not as bright as the ones he'd shoot you when were onstage. There was a long awkward pause but thankfully Mark speaks up.

"Well! I have like four essays due tomorrow, so I'm gonna have to head out. Want me to drive you home?" he offers, and you were about to accept but you saw Donghyuck raising an eyebrow at you so you stop yourself.

"I would but... We still have a second set, I... I'll call you" you said worried that he'd be turned off with the idea that you had slept with your best friend who you're still friends with by the way, but he simply shook his head as if he was telling you to not worry about it. He kisses your forehead gently before saying goodbye to the rest of the boys. You watch his retreating figure but you weren't able to see him exit the club's doors because it's not long before you feel a strong grip on your left wrist and you're being dragged to somewhere.

“Let 'em wonder how we got this far,

'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all.”

Donghyuck leads you to the club's dirty bathroom, lowly lit with the purple and pink lights. He locks the door behind him but the vibrations of the club's speakers pounded against the door, it was still just as deafening as it was outside. Donghyuck stares at your face for a moment, thinking of what words to say. He watched the way you pursed your lips, you probably were thinking the same, so he beats you to speaking.

"Second set? I'm pretty sure we're done for the night sweetheart-" Donghyuck's stopped mid sentence by your hand coming across his face with a harsh slap, he smiles sadistically when he looks up at you.

"Yeah there's no second set but I had to tell you this" you said, eyes lit with a fire he's never seen before.

"Don't. Ruin. Mark. For. Me." you spat as you pushed him with your finger, backing him up against the club's door. His smirk finally falters, he looked just as confused and annoyed the day you two broke up.

"What? Everything I said was true, doesn't he deserve to know? Let him wonder how we got this far... If he ever doubts your feelings for him, then he doesn't deserve you"

You think about how it's actually the other way around, because for the first time in your life, you're finally making a change for the better. Since your abusive past and your parents' divorce you had always been problematic. Rebelling against your mother since she had refused to accept to support your band. You lived buck-wild, mostly relying on Donghyuck for sustenance. You thought your hate for the people around you was reasonable because of your parents, so you closed off everyone, including Donghyuck. You rebelled and used people as much as you liked, you thought it was only fair you'd reciprocate the hurt the world had given you. But after meeting Mark, it felt like a breath of fresh air, he made you feel alive, like you still had a chance to do the right thing.

"I just don't want to ruin things with him, he's... different" You whispered softly, gripping his silk button-up. Donghyuck laughs cold at this, switching your positions so that you were the one with your back against the door, he cages you against it, making you feel small as he traced your jawline.

"What? are you into virgin college boys now? do they turn you on that much?" he chuckled wickedly, his eyes stared deeply into your own.

"We both know you're never capable of love princess, you like playing with feelings. Because in the end, I know you'll end up breaking this boy's poor heart because that's who you are..." his voice ends up becoming a whisper in the end, his lips inching closer to yours, and without knowing it he presses his lips against yours.

To your shock, you kiss him back for a few seconds but realize what you were doing. You pushed him away to slap him again, he holds your palm in his hand, he harshly holds your wrist against the door. You try to wriggle free from his grip but you stopped when you looked at his face. He had his forehead against yours, tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes were closed but you could hear his sniffling as he tried to collect himself. It was now that you finally realize how much you had hurt him. You didn't know that he was this affected by your break up since he had easily agreed to it. You were also blinded by your selfishness, your anger towards the world that you didn't know you were already hurting someone so important to you.

So you soften up, remembering that this broken guy who stood before you was still your best friend. Your best friend who stayed with you when you were at your worse, your best friend who loved you unconditionally even if you drove everyone away.

"That's exactly who you are, you're a heartless monster." he cried, you silently agreed with him but you kept your mouth shut, willing to listen to him finally tell you his feelings. You have been an asshole for most of your life, and you knew it, so you thought this was the least you could do for him. You didn't think much of Donghyuck’s feelings in the past, so it was only hitting you now, he had truly loved you. Even if you were the most flawed person. Even if you were the sad little girl who was too scared of the world, the little girl who believed that everyone was out to get her. He had loved you fully, through and through, even if you had intentionally cheated on him.

"I'm sorry" you whisper, finally realizing how cruel you were these past years. You hated yourself, you truly did. You hate yourself for playing with his feelings, for leading him on when you didn't really have feelings for him back then. You used him for your enjoyment not thinking of his emotions, you used him as an escape from your reality, your troubled past. You truly were a monster and it was finally made clear to you.

"Then take me back," he whispered, he sounded so broken that it took a while for you to register what he said. You didn't reply and he looks up to meet your gaze and your heart breaks.  

"After all this time, I'm still so into you, so please... just give me a chance to be yours again" he begged, you knew he was ready to beg on his knees if it weren't for your current position, you could feel the shiver run down your back because of guilt.

"Donghyuck." you sighed as you took his face into your palms, you look into his eyes and you could see the glimmer of hope behind them, hoping that  you were about to say yes to his offer, but to his disappointed you only caused more heartbreak.

"I really really like Mark... and you were probably right, I'm so fucked in the brain that I didn't even think of your feelings back then. Of how real your emotions were for me, I thought we were just casual, but it seems like you really..." you trail off thinking of the right words to say

"loved me. I'm so sorry for being a fucking asshole, I have no excuses. Being hurt by my parents gives me no reason to hurt you back, so you don't have to accept my apology, I don't deserve it... But I’m doing what I think is best for us right now, I'm kicking you out of the band"

Donghyuck's eyes widened at this, his hands desperately clasping onto yours as he tried to bring his lips back to yours. He didn't know why he was trying to kiss you, probably it was because of the alcohol in his system, or most likely desperation. But all he knew he wasn't ready to let go, to say goodbye to you just yet, so he tried grasping for any piece of you he could as you removed his desperate hands from your body, both of you crying as you tried to push him away for good.

"What do you mean? why do you keep pushing me away like this?" he cries out as he hugs you, you pat his back.

"Because this is wrong, and it's time for you to be happy." you freed yourself from his weak grip, he tried to fight back but you insisted, it finally hit him that this was inevitable, it was finally time for you to say goodbye.

"Thank you for everything" you whispered, and with a final slip of his grasp you were gone. You had opened the door and left him in the bathroom, broken and lost.

“Yeah, after all this time, I'm still into you.”

Part 2

[dreamslogs]

November 14, 2022: Log #77

☁️Weather: Cloudy with a high of 51, low of 30, humidity of 76%, feels like 44

👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽

🌌7:00 AM: Wake up & check social media

🔫7:15 AM: Drink coffee in bed

🌌8:15 AM: Get up & start doing my morning routine

🔫8:30 AM: Continue getting read while I eat my breakfast

I had a premiere protein birthday cake shake

💄Todays Makeup

Concealer: Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer

Blush: Rare Beauty Soft Pinch Liquid Blush in Encourage

Powder: Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder

Eyebrows: Kosas Brow Pop Clean Dual-Action Defining Eyebrow Pencil & Kosas Air Brow Tinted Clean Volumizing Eyebrow Gel

Mascara: Essence Lash Princess False Lash Effect Waterproof Mascara

Highlighter: Essence Pure Nude Highlighter in Be My Highlight

Lipstick: Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey

Setting Spray: Milk Makeup Hydro Grip Setting + Refreshing Spray

Perfume: YSL Black Opium

🌌9:00 AM: Leave for class while talking to my mom

🔫9:30 AM: Hang out with my friends from Japanese class

🌌10:10 AM: Japanese class

🔫11:30 AM: Get lunch with my friend

We had which wich

🌌1:30 PM: Sit in the Anthropology Lounge and work on a Historical Archaeology paper

🔫4:00 PM: Biological Anthropology class

🌌5:15 PM: Head home from class

🔫5:30 PM: Throw my laundry in thr washer & go to the store with my roommate

🌌6:15 PM: Get back from the store & make dinner

I had a sandwich

🔫6:40 PM: Talk to my roommate while she cooks her dinner

🌌8:00 PM: Play around with my roommates as we all do different Duolingo lessons

I did Japanese unit 2

🔫9:15 PM: Have a little snack

I had some cheese danish

🌌10:15 PM: Take a shower & do my nighttime routine

🔫11:00 PM: Make tea & settle down in bed watching some ASMR

🕯️Candle Scent

Bath & Body Works: Lakeside Morning

🌌12:15 AM: Turn everything off & scroll tiktok until I fall asleep

👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽💫👽

🖋️Notes on the day🖋️

Today was a chill day! I don’t really have many assignments left to do so I’m trying to relax before it ramps up again. I’m not excited for tomorrow because it’s supposed to rain all day. My roommate also has a concussion because she got smacked in the head by a tuba at band practice?? So we’re all playing nurse for her now.

[bunnywritesmarvel]

Okay I mean obviously your tattoo looks amazing(snakes and flowers, cool design, just beautiful💯)but mmm I’ve always been one for details Bunny and your outfit…goddamn. It’s giving like lowkey Steve with the white top and jeans just like classic y’know? But then a heavy dose of Eddie with the little rips in the jeans and the necklaces and the black belt and the chain and the bandana in the back pocket🤤sorry to creep Bunny but you’re fine as hell😭respectfully

HOLD ON ITS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE OUTFIT, LET ME GIVE YALL SOME UP CLOSE SHOTS

also are u saying im a steddie love child 🥹🥹🥹 i love u sm

i got the jeans on amazon and i love how they fit, but getting them on over my ass is a struggle LMAO

ofc i had to add chains and the hanky bc yes i did my research on hanky code and yes its in my right pocket (eddies is in his left 👀)

i also pinned the little aztec gold coin from pirates of the carribean onto my pocket bc i love that movie and a belt to keep the chains from pulling my pants down LMAO

next were the rings and bracelets, i got the rings on amazon and all the bracelets from a pride parade. the beaded bracelet my cousin made me, it has my old pronouns on it but i still wear it bc i love it so much and my cousin is so sweet. the pink/blue/white says "protect trans kids" and "let trans kids play" the rainbow is for PrEP, an HIV prevention pill i think?? and the blue is for asfp, a suicide prevention organization.

the rings are just kinda for decor, the square one on my middle finger i bought from my tattoo shop, idk whats on it but it looks cool. then the wolf and thats all on my left. on my right is the thumb one, just some like leafy stuff ig?? the skeleton hand and then the grim reaper

i got the chain choker from walmart, idk where i got the amethyst tbh and the dog tag i got from my dad, he gave it to me before he was deployed to iraq for like 9 months. and my fitbit i use to track my workouts LMAO

the makeup is my absolute favorite part bc its the only look i do, i always go for the like messy, edgy look ig??? i saw the tutorial on tiktok and its the only look i do now i love it so much. its just a light purple all around, red along my lash lines with some yellow on the inner corner and outer edge of my eye. i coat my waterline in black eyeliner and i usually kinda make it messy and smudgy, and some mascara.

i love when the eyeliner gets smudgy so i just let it do what it wants lmao, usually ill do like primer, foundation, concealer, blush, highlighter, sometimes ill add fake freckles if im feeling spicy

[hazeltailofficial]

Super quick and easy makeup of the day

Tarte Maracuja Creaseless Concealer in Fair Laura Geller Baked Balance N Brighten Color Correcting Foundation in Porcelain Sephora Colorful Contour Matte Powder in 01 Fair To Light Almay Brow Styler Brow Mascara in Light Brown Milani Eyeshadow Primer The Crème Shop Pusheen Strawberry Daydream 9 Color Palette (Snackies + Crème + Naptime + Marshmallow) Colourpop Bff Liquid Liner in Numero Uno Tarte Lights, Camera, Lashes 4-In-1 Mascara Urban Decay All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray

@hazeltailofficial / @hazeltail / hazeltail on youtube / hazeltailofficial on tiktok / hazeltailofficial on ig

[kamiartist9]

Kansas City Chiefs vs Philadelphia Eagles 🦅 Place your bets #Foundation | @fentybeauty pro filt’r no. 345 #Concealer | @fentybeauty 360 & @milanicosmetics conceal + perfect shade 155 cool sand #Primer | @mentedcosmetics “Perfect Prime” stix (get 15% off MentedCosmetics products using promocode “Kami15” <link in bio>) #Bronzer | @mentedcosmetics “vacay” (get 15% off MentedCosmetics products using promocode “Kami15” <link in bio>) #Brows | @mentedcosmetics brow or later pencil #eyeshadow | #glazzi 99 colors eyeshadow palette 🎨 #glitter | @slayfirecosmetics Valentines 💘 Palette 🎨 (click the slayfire link in my bio & use promo code: SlayFireKami to get 10% off products) #eyeliner | @rubykissescosmetics color liner 🤍 #Mascara | @pudaiercosmetics shade no. 9 #highlighter | @fentybeauty Trophy 🏆 Wife #Lipstain | @fentybeauty underdawg #SettingSpray | @urbandecaycosmetics “all nighter” #SettingPowder | @maybelline fit me no. 310 #mua #makeupartist #photooftheday #model #pride #blackgirlmagic #tiktok #makeuplover #instagram #mentedcosmetics #fentybeauty #glittermakeup #slayfirecosmetics #superbowl https://www.instagram.com/p/CokwuH_uji2/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=