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readingsbylibramc · 3 years ago

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birth chart reading for @sunfiowershrooms

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a splay shape, meaning that your planets are located randomly in different groups in your chart. people with this type of chart are usually very talented at different things. they can focus their attention on different matters, from family, to work, to love. everything is important for you, and you try to live your life to the fullest. you may be particularly talented at things that require action, it doesn’t matter whether it’s physical or mental. you may be very good at sports, dancing… or maybe you’re good at leading, you could easily be the boss on your work place. since you’re interested in so many things, you could easily be skilled at all of them to be honest. my advice would be to pick the hobby that is most important for you and care about it more than the others. that’s because people with this chart usually tend to do so many things that they may lack precision. it’s better to give all of yourself to what’s important for you.

your dominant planets are venus, jupiter and mercury. you are a very creative person, you may have an eye for aesthetics and you may enjoy the finer things in life, you probably enjoy shopping and following trends. you're also very smart, and you could be quite philosophical as well.

your dominant sign is libra. you're overall a peaceful person, you try to avoid conflicts if possible, even though sometimes you could have a sharp tongue. you're a romantic person, maybe too much. you hold unrealistic expectations of people, hence you often get disappointed when things don't turn out the way you thought. you're able to see both sides of an argument, and that's both good and bad. in fact, you're very objective, and most probably your opinions are right; yet, it may be annoying for people that are venting to you, as you could constantly point out their mistakes, even though you don't do it out of malice.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in sagittarius, 20° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

you see the world as an adventure. I feel like you typically don’t relate to sagittarius ascendant stereotypes; sag risings are usually very happy-go-lucky, they smile often, but pluto being conjunct to it may change things a bit. you’re more of a loner, you’re not as extroverted as other sagittariuses. you may relate more to scorpio rising, actually. ironically, you often look sad or angry. you have a knack for philosophy, and your favourite is most probably ‘you only live once’. you tame dying before making the amount of experiences you want to have in your life, hence you could even be impulsive sometimes. you’re the type to always be up to crack a joke or anything that can make you and others smile, yet when someone gets against you, it’s over for them. you have quite of a sharp tongue, you’re pretty blunt and straight-forward. in fact, you may often get in troubles due to your impulsiveness, which may be misunderstood. you have an incredible charm to you; it’s not like taurus’ or libra’s, those are more related to physical traits. sagittarius people, on the other hand, are surely very talented at something; maybe, at school you were one of the best students, and everyone recognized it and appreciated you for that; people understand your potential, and you may often receive compliments for your skills. basically, your personality is charismatic. due to pluto being conjunct the ascendant, I feel like you may even struggle too much with pessimism during your first years, but in case you are, you shouldn’t be. jupiter is also your dominant planet, and it’s willing to give you the best of luck if you respect its themes. hence, you need to have faith in the universe and be optimistic. try to look more at the positive sides in life and even in people. physically, sagittarius is all about abundance, hence you may have trouble losing weight. you could have big bones, or at least something bigger on your body that doesn’t make you look like a victoria’s secret’s model. you’re more on the thick side, in fact you probably have a pear/hourglass body shape, with wider hips and/or thick thighs and lower body in general. you could also have wide shoulders, and something big and memorable on your face as well. maybe you have a very distinctive nose, or perhaps your eyes are almond-shaped. your forehead and lips could be pretty wide as well. I’ve also noticed that sagittarius peers have a very lively sparkle in their eyes, even though they may be very dark. it’s like having two/three tiny diamonds at the centre of each of your eyes. last but not least, you may have sharp cheekbones and very dark features, such as dark hair or eyes.

sagittarius ascendant opposite gemini saturn: you may be shy and have self-esteem issues, especially during your early years. because of that, you may often appear as insecure to others, or even unreliable. you have a strong desire to be with someone and commit to them, you despise supertificial bonds, but at the same time you may find yourself being too shy to approach others, especially during your early years. this may apply more to the younger you, actually. you don't feel much comfortable around other people, and others can sense that; your insecurity is exposed to the world, and some may take advantage of that to hurt your feelings. you're afraid of being judged, whether it's for your appearance, or maybe because of your ideals or interests. hence, you end up becoming reserved. this is something that will be solved through growth and time; the older you get, the easier you'll be on yourself. also, thanks to this aspect, you're a responsible person with defined values. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to do what makes you feel the best. there are different ways to boost your self-esteem, so maybe you can work on that and then start expressing yourself freely; if you do it without the fear of being judged, you will shine even more.

sagittarius ascendant conjunct sagittarius pluto: this aspect enhances your scorpio rising even more. scorpio, combined with your scorpio sun and pisces moon, makes you look a little bit naive. people may try to take advantage of you, and to defend yourself you tend to become bossy. you’re really competitive, and feel the constant need to prove others’ wrong, even though it’s not the best way to do it. in your life, you could encounter lots of enemies that may try to stop you from transforming yourself. or maybe, your grandfather is an authoritative figure in your life and in your family’s in general, and his influence has a big impact on your life. also, something I’ve noticed about pluto conjunct ascendant individuals is that they may feel unhappy when they’re young. as time goes by, they transform and become as they want, which makes them feel more satisfied with themselves.

🌞 sun in scorpio, 3° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas, especially considering that your moon is in pisces. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much. this could even escalate and become a more serious issue, as scorpio is also the planet of obsession, after all. it's common for you to feel your emotions x2, as they're too intense to handle. you know everything about others, but you don't show off and gossip about it. actually, you keep the info for yourself and use it when you need it.

scorpio sun square capricorn mars: you’re extremely passionate about the things you love, you strive to be perfect at them, and your perfectionist, capricorn nature confirms this. this could make you quite competitive, as your capricorn mars wants to succeed and be always right. I feel like you don’t really enjoy being in the spotlight; you’d rather avoid conflicts, or at least not be the center of them. yet, sometimes it’s hard for you not be aggressive. I don’t think it happens often, but you can be very blunt and rude if someone truly gets on your nerves. this, paired up with your scorpio energy, makes you sort of dramatic. as long as you don’t react like this too often, I don’t think it’s a big issue though.

🌙 moon in pisces, 0° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

🗣 mercury in libra, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

you're very diplomatic! you always try to be nice and gentle with your words, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. your tone of voice is extremely soft, sometimes it could even be hard to understand what you say, as you could naturally have a low voice. you're extremely balanced, you have amazing problem-solving skills as you're able to see both side of an argument. it's natural for you to understand what's right and what isn't, and most of the times you're actually right. when you're with someone you're not really close to, you could even be the accommodating type who allows others to speak over your voice, or maybe you let others speak first as a gesture of kindness. I feel like with your jupiter dominance you have very strong opinions, and you're actually particularly proud of them. luckily, this placement makes you able to communicate them with diplomacy. you could often get angry if someone tries to prove you wrong, but aside from that, you try to be very elegant and formal when you speak. you're probably not fond of cursing, or at least you try to appear as mannered as possible with people you're not comfortable around. last but not least, you're such a charismatic, smooth talker that you result very persuasive. you're able to trick people with your words, which appear very diplomatic and calm.

libra mercury conjunct libra venus: this placement confirms your struggles to open yourself to the world. you’re insecure that your thoughts and ideas may be judged negatively by others, hence you just bottle them up with your feelings. this aspect is mostly positive, though! you’re probably a good singer, or at least you have a very calm tone of voice that is pleasant to hear. you’re able to see both sides of an argument, hence you may be good at helping people making up. you could actually be suited for psychology! you may also earn money through your voice and thoughts, so you could be a writer, a journalist, an actress, a singer etc. this placement assures that you may be sociable, or at least that you have great social skills.

libra mercury square cancer jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends.

❤️ venus in libra, 13° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

love this placement! you're very romantic: you're not looking for a partner, you're looking for a whole disney prince. you do care about looks when choosing a lover, but not necessarily a conventionally beautiful person. they have to appear perfect to your eyes, and this usually depends on the way they treat you. in fact, you despise vulgar, rude people. people that act like that immediately become unattractive to you. you're also very picky, exactly because you're looking for the perfect lover. you're probably the type to cry at movies. you're also quite of a cliche; you're into roses, romantic dinners, sunsets... anything romantic that you hear about in fairytales. the problem with this placement is that you may overestimate the people you frequent, ending up having different expectations from reality.

libra venus square cancer jupiter: you come off as a very positive, happy-go-lucky person. you're extremely friendly, and this makes you be good at social relationships. you may have lots of friends, or at least you have the potential to make many if you opened up and talked to them. yet, while this energy gives you positive vibes, some people may take advantage of that, as you could easily be mistaken for naive. people can try to dominate you unconsciously (sometimes even on purpose) not only in relationships but even in friendships. aside from that, I don't think this placement causes you many problems. you may have the tendency to procrastinate and not work. you could be quite lazy and get easily distracted, as you're constantly with your head in the cloud. yet, thanks to your capricorn energy, you still manage to find some motivation to do your work.

☄️ mars in capricorn, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by saturn and mercury

you can get scary when you want, especially with your impulsive jupiter dominance. you're a serious competitor, as your mind is very strategic. your ambition makes you want to be the best wherever you are, and you may actually overwork yourself to achieve your goals. establishing your status is important for you. you may not be the type to act instantly, you prefer taking your time to follow a plan. in fact, you probably write down what you have to do in an agenda, or even in your phone's notes app. you have this strong sense of duty, as you feel 100% responsible of your fate. you're sure that, if you don't work hard, you don't deserve success and recognition. in fact, you don't take orders from others, you are your own boss. you could have materialistic tendencies, as wealth is what motivates you the most to work or just take action in general. you may often experience burnouts, as capricorn, especially in mars, brings intense workaholic tendencies.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in sagittarius. your relationship with your image could be quite complicated; chiron here points out that you’re quite insecure about the way you look. you may struggle with your self-image often, and you may even have a physical scar somewhere on your body or face. pluto conjunct the first house also gives you a very bold, strong presence, and hence you may be even intimidating. yet, you’re also extremely magnetic and charismatic, maybe even sexy. I assume that you struggle to fully embrace your potential, though. especially during your early years, you had a fluctuating self-esteem. you used to find yourself weird and ugly, you didn’t love yourself. luckily, if you work hard on your mentality you'll start being way more optimistic, and as a result you'll be more confident in yourself as well.

your 2nd house is in capricorn, with also neptune, mars, the moon and uranus sitting in this house together. your relationship with money may not be totally stable; you may get distracted easily, and you could lose your money around. you could be quite messy, overall, or in general, this is usually a placement that indicates sudden money loss. this placement also confirms that your self-esteem isn’t stable either; you could be quite insecure, and you may idealize a lot the way you look. for example, you could think that you have an ugly nose when it’s actually the opposite. same goes for your belongings; you may think that you have saved loads of money, you spend them, and then you realize you didn’t really have much. regarding your self-esteem, your imagination and your creativity could surely make you feel better. you may have an artistic hobby, such as acting, drawing, etc. that could earn you compliments and praise, and hence it increases your sense of worth. you could also increase your self-esteem by taking pictures or videos of yourself, for instance. you love challenging your mind, but you're kind of lazy. you'd rather stimulate yourself through your hobbies and interests rather than using school / work, which are quite stressful for you. you need to find something material and concrete to motivate you and make you assertive. you could study just because you need a good grade, or maybe work just to get paid. you don't really do it with interest, as you care more about nurturing your passions than responsibilities. you're not really into conflicts; you'd rather be peaceful with everyone, as you find it a waste time to argue with someone. you're very peaceful, you try to avoid conflicts when you can. this placement makes you crave stability, whether it's financial, in love etc. you must be very stubborn, as taurus is a fixed sign. this placement, paired with your imaginative water energy, makes you settle on making your ideas concrete, and it's very beneficial. it makes you capable of achieving any goals in your life. you're also very artsy, and you may fancy particular art styles. you have a good eye for aesthetics, and you care a lot about the looks of your house, body, clothes etc. you have excellent concentration, and that is another thing that helps you achieve your goals and make your ideas concrete.

your 3rd house is in the sign of pisces. when it comes to speech, you’re most likely more introspective. you may not be much talkative, and most of the time you keep your ideas and thoughts to yourself, but actually it's hard for you to hide them. you may be secretive, but you're easy to read. you learn the best when you’re close to creativity or imagination, you’re very intuitive and hence it's easier for you to learn new topics. while you're very empathetic and you're able to properly convey your thoughts and feelings in your speech, you may also come off as sensitive or even insecure. you may have a quiet voice, and hence you could come off as shy. since neptune, the ruler of this house, is in the 2nd house, I assume that the best way to deal with this issue is gaining more self-esteem. you may be introverted due to your insecurity, and hence dealing with it will be crucial for you to solve this karmic lesson.

your 4th house is in aries. while outside you may appear as very polite, when you feel comfortable you actually become way more fiery. you’re very impulsive in your home environment, you could have actually been some sort of warrior. maybe you used to argue a lot with your parents, perhaps because they were too overprotective. it wasn’t totally peaceful, there were a few events that made you hold a grudge, maybe even subconsciously. it might be regarding a family member, or even a childhood mate. during your childhood, you weren’t much sad, though. it could be that your home environment was a bit intense at times, or maybe one of your parents is absent, emotionally or physically, but it was nothing too serious, as your mars isn't bad aspected at all.

your 5th house is in taurus. you are a very creative, artistic person. you’re able to relax by watching netflix, eating, writing, painting… anything that can be done at home. you’re not the type to hang out too often or party all night, you’re more of a homebody. you could also love sleeping in, just being able to stay in bed all day wearing comfy clothes is a vacation for you. you probably had to grow up sooner than others kids, you seemed much more serious and mature than them. but remember, while this placement gives you a strong sense of duty, it’s also important to nurture your creativity, especially since your placements indicate that you have a very strong imagination. in fact, I see you earning money thanks to your big dreams, you could surely be successful in a creative or artistic career. you could work behind the scenes, you could be a graphic designer, a photographer, a videomaker, a screenwriter, or you may even be a celebrity of any kind. you could also work in the beauty field, such as a mua, a hairdresser or as a stylist.

your 6th house is in gemini, with also saturn placed in this house. in your daily routine, especially at work, you have to communicate a lot. you come in contact with lots of people, or maybe you write stuff like blogs or books. generally, you have a very hectic schedule, as you have different hobbies and appointments that you can’t abandon. your ideal career has to include something that allows you to express your personal taste, ideas and interests. in this way, it won’t feel too heavy to you, and you’ll find pleasure in working. you probably thrive from being efficient not just at work, but also in your daily routine; you probably like having a schedule, a routine of any kind (like a diet or a skincare routine for example). with saturn here you could also be quite delicate , you may get sick easily and you could suffer from anxiety and any kind of throat/breathing disease. you may also have problems with your arms and hands.

your 7th house is in gemini, with also your jupiter sitting there. in a partner, you seek someone intelligent that is able to keep up with your rhythm. you don’t have time to nurture someone, you want them to fully understand you. in fact, you may be more attracted to older partners, as they’re supposed to be more mature. I don’t see many issues arising in your marriage life, it will probably be very peaceful, but it may take you a while to find someone you like. you’re a picky person when it comes to love, you want someone hard-working and responsible with a big brain, yet they should also be quite outgoing and funny. you need mental stimulation, someone that is a constant adventure for you and that is worth exploring. you may meet your future spouse at work, according to your chart. otherwise, you could meet them in a bank, in a restaurant, at a concert, at the mall… also, they could help you gaining more confidence in yourself. there's also a high chance that they're going to be foreign, you may meet abroad or perhaps they're going to travel to your country. you may be a people pleaser but you're overall a very romantic individual.

your 8th house is in cancer. you are a very private individual, you have trust issues and you only share your concerns with people you're sure you can trust. you tend to preserve yourself, even though it’s hard for you to repress your emotions, as they’re too to intense to bottle them up. you absorb people’s feelings like a sponge, there’s no way that you won’t instantly understand their real emotions. overall, you tend to overreact a lot; you have cancer's sensitive energy on one side and 8th house’s mysterious, almost scary vibe. dealing with these emotional burnouts may be stressing to you, as you totally get caught up in them. even if it looks like you get to know other people often, you actually don’t let others know you. you’re the type of person to talk and socialize, especially after your saturn return, but you never reveal your deepest fears and thoughts to strangers. you only open up to people you’re sure you can trust. when you’re angry, you can literally go as far as using violence; you need to let out your emotions by screaming, swearing… anything that can make you feel better. when you don’t get rid of all your negative vibes when angry, you may tend to get physically sick; you could get stomachaches, or maybe even headaches. there’s a secret, sensitive side in you that needs passionate and romantic partners in love. yet, you can’t help but feel more attracted to the ones that may hurt you badly. you’re possibly quite sensitive to entities too, like ghosts, spirits...

your 9th house is in virgo. you have a practical approach to philosophy and your thoughts in general. that is, you’re able to grasp a lot of information that makes you think more on your identity. you’re interested in psychology, and that explains why you decided to get your chart read after all. you were a perfectionist at school, and you probably had amazing grades. you are very justice-driven, you like learning new stuff and being the #1 at pretty much everything you care about. yet, you could be quite bossy at times, as you could come off as a bit too arrogant but you're just very dedicated. the ruler of the 9th house is in the 10th house: you could attract people in your life that are foreign, or perhaps open-minded people that are able to speak more than one language or are bicultural. this placement also indicates that you'll most likely get to work abroad, or perhaps you'll come in contact with people from all over the world, therefore you may have to speak another language or deal with new cultures.

your 10th house is in libra, with also your sun, mercury and venus. you have an eye for aesthetics, and you want to have a reputation for looking classy and mannered. basically a lady, but that knows how to stand up for himself. in your ideal career you need something that makes you express your need for beauty, possibly even justice. you may have a passion for poetry and literature in general, or maybe you could be particularly skilled at fashion. you have a natural talent to match colours with undertones, body shapes, vibes etc., and you could make this particular ability of yours a job. you’re also a charismatic, strong-willed speaker, hence you could also do well as a lawyer, a politician, an activist etc. your ideal career involves arts and aesthetics. you could become an artist, a writer, a poet, an actress, an interior designer, a stylist… this type of things. also, your career and indipendence are most likely to boost your self-esteem. in addition, you may also be able to get very well-paid, you could even be in the spotlight or famous.

your 11th house is in scorpio. you are extremely picky with your friends. you have a few trust issues, probably caused by your karmic issues again, that make you secretive around your friends. you may close yourself in your shell, or maybe you actually know a lot of people, yet you only consider a few of them your friends. most of the time, you may also befriend people that try to take advantage of you. or perhaps, since there’s a possibility that you understand that, you could be the one who leads the group and acts quite bossy. this is something that gets naturally better with time; actually, your friends will be of great help for you to grow up. you may have big dreams for your future, yet you may feel intimidated as they’re very intense, and hence hard to make come true. you need to pay your karmic debts in order to finally feel comfortable with others and have the motivation to achieve your long-term goals.

your 12th house is in sagittarius, with also pluto sitting in this house. you’re particularly interested in religion and higher beliefs, hence meditation would be effective for you. yet, you need to get enough sleep, or you could not be able to fully embrace the spirituality of this placement. you may also be able to have prophetic dreams, or at least they have a strong moral beyond them. venus in this house indicates that you may daydream about the perfect romance. you have strong ideals, you're a very fair person and you expect a lot from people, but you may sometimes be let down from others because of these high standards of yours. you most probably prefer being alone in your free time. you may be introverted, and hence you're surely not the type to attend parties or clubs. you may also have spiritual hobbies, such as yoga, meditation, astrology, tarots, religion, etc.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract sagittarius, taurus, virgo, gemini and leo placements. your future spouse will most probably have virgo and leo placements, hence they’ll be very smart, patient and confident, but also very intelligent and a bit selfish. it may be love at first sight, and you may find them very attractive. you could meet them at work or most certainly abroad, there are many indicators in your chart of a foreign spouse. perhaps you could meet them during a vacation, or maybe in any kind of context where you need to speak another language. they may also be your soulmate, and you may dream of them often. your children are most likely going to have taurus placements, therefore they'll be very creative and affectionate, even though quite stubborn and materialistic.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is a very fiery, impulsive person, with a short-temper. she could have even been quite violent with you during your childhood, and she might have a few childish behaviours. deep down, she’s actually kind of insecure with her role as a mother. she may have aries, libra, scorpio or pisces placements in her chart. your father, on the other hand, is more submissive. he’s a peaceful person, even though he most probably has a passive-aggressive behaviour. you could actually have a better relationship with him rather than with your mother, or at least he understands your needs better. he may have libra, leo, virgo, gemini, aries or taurus placements in his chart. if you have siblings, they most probably have aries, pisces, cancer or aquarius placements in their chart. you may have an amazing relationship with them, you may understand each other very deeply and your bond could be quite emotional, even though you may argue from time to time.

📊 career

you could do well at a variety of jobs to be honest! with your gemini in the 6th house you could actually work in different fields before sticking to one career, hence you’re pretty experienced. I certainly see you being successful in your career, you will most likely work alone and you'll most likely be a boss. you're very hard-working, so I can see you having your own business for example. otherwise, you may also do well in an aesthetic field, or even more practical jobs like lawyer, judge, possibly also a therapist or psychologist. and again, you may work abroad, so maybe as a translator, as a teacher etc. you would also make a great singer, actress, writer, model, photographer... you'll basically get to communicate something in an artistic, creative way.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you’re very traditional about your clothes, maybe even basic. you’re the type to have lots of essential clothes in your wardrobe, e.g a white shirt, white t-shirt, jeans etc. you love wearing sophisticated, elegant fits. for example, you may be fond of wide leg jeans, or maybe flare trousers, boatneck sweaters, tiny jewellery… things like that, that are always a must have. you may fancy pastel colors, or even neutral shades like black, white, grey, beige etc. you’re also the type to follow fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, the focus was on yourself. maybe, you had troubles with self-esteem and identity in general. you had to work hard and finally understand who you were to fulfill your past life purpose. hence, this lifetime your focus will be on the bonds you create with others. even though at first you might feel almost scared to the idea of marriage, especially having mars in the 7th house, this lifetime you're here to develop this matter. after all, you may despise love for your troubled past. with your north node in the 7th house, you're naturally lucky in love. there's nothing to be afraid of, you only need to take small steps and open your heart to someone, putting your worries and insecurities aside.

🤔 major transits analysis / june 21st

last year was probably very rough for you. at least, you’re finally discovering the truth about who you are; you’re finally learning how to love yourself for who you are, without having to change. by the next year, you should be able to feel much more comfortable and confident. even though you may still face some hardships, don’t give up. you’ll come out of it as a stronger person. also, transit uranus in your 4th house is currently opposing your sun in the 10th house. there may be unfortunate and unpredictable events in your family environment, or maybe even regarding your physical house or privacy so beware of that.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

with your water placements, you probably have a 6th sense. you’re able to manifest what you want if you subconsciously predict it, even though it may be hard. you’d have to get in touch with your higher self to do so, and hence I would suggest you to light up some candles and meditate for a bit before manifesting, in this way it will be way more effective. you may manifest something while daydreaming, for example. or perhaps, you can also try listening to your own affirmations while you sleep, as you won’t be consciously aware of that. it’s probably the most effective way.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

#astrology

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horsepriest · 4 years ago

Photo

I did this OC meme on Twitter and got “Do all 40 and ramble on” as a response. Here is the entire questionnaire and character sheet for Warlord Gresham. This is fairly spoiler-free for Glimpse and is a snapshot of who he is now. Content warning for sadism, torture, and Gresham basically being a sick fuck overall.

Warlord Gresham

Basic stats:

Name: Gresham, AKA The TwinHorn

Serial Number: W.03-c.017

Gender/Pronouns: Cis Male He/Him

Height: Approx. 15ft at shoulder. Nearly 20ft standing.

Species: Heavily modified Liberated Vactyr with signs of Other corruption

Size Class: Titan (Does not meet 20,000lbs requirement for Colossus Size Class)

Sexuality: Undefined

Romance: Undefined

Birthday: Jan. 17

Age: 42

Occupation: Warlord of the Firmament-Highest rank of the Off-world Military and direct servant of Adelie.

Weapons: Gresham is a pack hunter with a constantly rotating squad of Lost under his direct command. He keeps a few contained within the large metal pack upon his back, some strapped with weaponry and explosives for the rare times he’s in a pinch. He is heavily armoured and has a wide range of attack with his long sweeping horns. Not many are willing to fight him. He is rarely taken out of battle for long- no one’s quite sure what he keeps in his medic bag. Personality: Overbearing, proud, and sadistic. He is the spoiled pet of a capricious “goddess” who encouraged every depraved impulse from a young age. For his twisted sense of loyalty to Adelie, he was gifted the title of Warlord, and thus dominion over a massive slice of the Liberated hordes. Despite his quadrupedal stance and bestial appearance, Gresham is smarter than one would think. This makes him a dangerous adversary as he can manage his pack with ease.

OC Question Meme

1. How easy is it to make them angry? Do they show their anger or hide it? It is difficult to make Gresham legitimately angry. Disobedience would probably be the best way to anger him, except it grants him the ability to dole out punishment as he deems fit. If anything, he gets giddy when one would expect him to be angry. If someone manages to piss him off, he would not be able to hide it and that person will have a fight on their hands.

2. Do they believe in soulmates? The idea of soulmates is a foreign concept to him. Love does not mean much to him due to his unique upbringing. Of course, he has seen other Liberated pair off to be mates but the rationalizes it as purely a mutually selfish interaction that has shaky longevity at best (and he goes out of his way to ruin the relationship, if possible.).

3. Do they have any pet peeves? Laziness, weakness, and sneakiness irritate him. He picks on the lazy and those he views as weak through forcing them into training and hard labour. He’ll focus intensely on subordinates that show signs of sneakiness or insubordination.

4. Do they have a happy place? Somewhere to go to in their heads when they need to relax? His happy place is his room and the memories of his activities there keep him relaxed and generally happy. Gresham is also happy when around Adelie. She showers him with attention and praise which he drinks up. Gresham is a good boy. In her soulless pits she calls eyes anyways.

5. At what stage of their life were they the happiest? Right after he killed his brother in public combat and proved he was the best and strongest out of the two. His secondary set of horns were torn from his brother’s corpse as trophies. He could stand somewhat normally at this stage and still could see. He looked like a normal, but exceptionally large Liberated.

6. At what stage of their life were they the least happy? Same stage of life as “Glimpse Beyond the Illusion.” His life is painful- trouble breathing and generally functioning as his body has mostly broken down. He relies on his pack for basic needs like getting dressed and keeping clean. He is also suffering from the effects of █████ ██████████ which is different from Mortus’s knowledge of ██████████. Lastly, Adelie takes frequent control of his Liberation to form him to her liking, on top of the changes from █████ ██████████. Due to both of these, he has been barred from ever receiving a breeding permit.

7. At a bar/tavern/pub are they more likely to buy someone a drink, or have someone buy them a drink? He would buy someone a drink, but it’s a trap. Don’t ever accept a drink from Gresham.

8. Have they ever broken any bones? If yes, how? Oh definitely. The guy’s a living tank that takes joy in brutalizing beings on foreign planets and has most definitely broken more bones than your average peaceful human. Due to his medic kit, there isn’t much sign of this on his body. The most obvious broken bone is his docked tail, taken when he reached adulthood.

9. Do they have any memories/experiences they’d rather forget? Not really. Most of the painful memories are washed over by the rewards he has been given as a result of being a twisted ghoul of a being. There are probably quiet moments where he ponders how his life would have been if he were never taken under Adelie’s wing, but they are shoved back down into the dark abyss he dares not look into.

10. What is their favourite memory from their childhood? Earning his first pack of Lost. Little and loyal and they tended to his needs without question. Free friends, captive to him and too stupid to disobey. At first, he regarded them as tools and took good care of them. Once he accidentally killed one (maybe not accidentally), it was replaced. Now they are regarded as intelligent playthings and extensions of himself.

11. Do they have a “type” they are usually attracted to? No explicit type. Any form of love that Gresham is capable of experiencing is extremely toxic and sickening. He is an abject abuser and sadist; he doesn’t understand love. Gresham is capable of obsession and his main obsession is Adelie.

12. Do they have any favourite possessions? His survival knife, his jar of Flow, and his pack of Lost.

13. Do they have any tattoos? If no, would they ever consider getting one? They are not traditional tattoos, but he has faint stripes down his back. They are short and function like Rictus’s, just without most of Rictus’s extra abilities. For instance, Gresham cannot rebuild objects with them.

14. Do they have any piercings? If no, would they ever consider getting one? The thought hasn’t occurred to him, so no piercings. He might not get one, but I could see him forcing them on others in uncomfortable places.

15. What is their dream house like? He would live closer to Adelie with more space to be able to move around comfortably. A space that’s easy to clean and sort his pack into their own cubbies. A much more robust torture chamber with more tools would also be nice.

16. What is something about them that people would not expect just by looking at them? He is intelligent. Gresham is calculated in how he handles his affairs and prepares for most situations ahead of time. For instance, he’ll set out his Lost to lead his quarry to him-typically in a pretty narrow place to discourage retreat.

17. How good are they at choosing gifts for others? Don’t ever take a gift from Gresham, it’s a trap.

18. Do they have a certain skill that they’re particularly proud of? He is insanely gifted with his knife work and butchery. He is proud that he hasn’t yet broken the “Warlord W.03-c.017 is not entitled to cull stud XXX-XXXX” part of his special permits, despite getting his “playthings” very, very, very close to that point. He is also proud of how easily he can take what he wants.

19. How would a stranger they just met describe them? Creepy, pushy, off-putting. They may complain of the smell of his breath and body odour.

20. How would a close friend they’ve known for a long time describe them? A sweet, loyal dog. Trustworthy and cute, in an ugly way. (Adelie)

21. Do they have any personal insecurities? Being caught in a vulnerable position by someone that can then gossip about it. There are a few pilots that lack tongues for this reason. Others (presumably because their mouths were too damned small) are just tortured into silence.

22. What is their highest physical stat? (strength, stamina, defense, speed, etc.) and their highest non-physical stat? (intelligence, perception, charisma, luck, etc)? Easily strength and intelligence. Defense and Perception are second highest. Gresham lacks Stamina or Charisma.

23. How would they react to finding out someone lied to them, even if it was for their own safety/well-being? Gresham wouldn’t like it as it would be a form of insubordination, but insubordination also leads to punishment which is fun for him. He’d let the person lie, then set a trap to catch them.

24. Do they prefer cold weather or warm weather? For █████ ██████████ reasons, he isn’t too bothered by temperature extremes. If given the option, he’d pick colder.

25. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? See number 2. Any proclamation of love isn’t actual love: Gresham doesn’t understand it. Though, he probably tells his playthings that he loves them.

26. How easy is it for them to tell someone about their worries? He would not be close enough to most beings to talk about his worries, but he monologues with the Lost about his thoughts. Much like number 21, those that have caught him in these monologues suffer grave consequences.

27. Have they ever witnessed someone die? Yes, and he takes a perverse joy in it each time.

28. Are they ticklish? No. If he ever was, he got desensitized to it by the Lost climbing him.

29. How high/low is their pain tolerance? Very high. Even before he started developing chronic pain from his many augments, he is still a Vactyr in the Titan size-class.

30. Is there something they secretly wish they could do, but are too afraid to? Getting closer to Adelie.

31. Are they a messy eater or a neat eater? Due to his lack of cheeks and stretched snout, he is a very messy eater. Thankfully, the most common food available to him is the same soylent available to all Liberated. However, when he has access to problematic meat, he eats like a T-Rex. Large chunks swallowed whole.

32. What moment of their life made them feel most unloved? When he’s reminded of his place in the universe. While he is one of the few top-ranked Liberated, he is below every Hirudian. Forgetting this disappoints Adelie who forces him back into his place through her ability to utterly control his Liberation. She is willing to loan that control to other Hirudians, including Hivemind (but never Argiope), much to his great humiliation and shame.

33. What moment of their made them feel most loved? The time leading up to and after getting his augments. Yes, he lost his vision at this point, but he had Adelie’s entire attention as he was prepared for and eventually recovered from the surgery.

34. Which of the senses would they hate to lose the most: vision, hearing, smell, taste, or touch? Gresham already cannot see, and his sense of smell is affected by his helmet. He relies mostly on hearing and the secondary Flow-sense that is boosted by his augments and █████ ██████████ - he can sense where organic and Other beings are.

35. Are they good at small talk? No, not really. He’s a bit too busy to socialize and lacks the ability to fit in with the Liberated Ranks for socialization. His off-putting personality and sadistic nature also pushed them away, many of the pilots carry some trauma from being targeted by him and thus naturally avoid him.

36. If they could ask anyone one question and get the absolute truth, who and what would they ask? To some all-knowing being (so maybe Hivemind): “Am I good?”

37. If they had the chance, would they prefer to travel to the past or to the future? The past. Killing his brother again sounds fun and potentially going back to just before his augment so he can be close to Adelie again.

38. Who had the biggest impact in their life, both positive and negative? Elite Adelie, for obvious reasons. But, Mortus comes to a close second in the next chapter of Glimpse.

39. Would they rather life a life always surrounded by people, or always alone? He requires his Lost to live and takes a perverse joy in ruining other beings’ lives. So, while he could potentially find happiness in a life of solitude if he ever had a chance at a normal upbringing… he would pick having others around.

40. Is there anyone or anything that immediately instills fear in them? He fears a loss of control to a being not worthy of his loyalty. He is purely loyal to Adelie and enjoys his rule over others. Gresham is aware of how easily Adelie can abandon him, he has witnessed her throwing away her other experiments for petty reasons. In some cases, he was how she threw them away. He eventually develops a skittishness around electricity.

#oc meme #the moonlit path #sadism cw #torture cw #violence cw #Gresham is toxic so keep that in mind.

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adrenaline-roulette · 5 years ago

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Hallow-Queen (Joe)

I wrote three Hallow themed one shots back in October for the Boh Rhap cast (There was supposed to be a fourth, but unfortunately some things came up, and I was unable to write it. Maybe this Halloween I’ll finally get it done!?)

Anyways, there is a fic for Joe, Ben and Gwil

First up will be everyone’s favourite Dino boi! Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Reader

The monster mash filled the bathroom as you got ready for the evening, your poor spotify algorithm will be so confused after tonight. You go for months listening only to the hits of the 80’s, and then suddenly, monster mash, and the Addams family theme are on loop! That however did not stop you from grooving along to the song, moving your hips to the beat and bobbing your head. You could hear Joe downstairs, setting everything up for the party he had organised at the last minute. Joe had sent a group text to the BohRhap cast, demanding everyone be free for Halloween. This, of course had been met with a rather loud outcry. Rami and Lucy had already made plans, Gwil was travelling to Wales to see his brother, and Ben well, Ben was free and had accepted immediately. Up until two days ago, it had been planned for just you, Joe and Ben to have a quite night together, watching scary movies, and pigging out on pizza. That is, until Joe had received a message from Gwil, his brother had come down with the flu, and didn’t want to pass it on to him. Your party now consisted of four. Next came a message from Lucy, “Okay, this is crazy, I haven’t seen you in months! Tell Joe that Rami and I will be there this weekend! (Don’t mention anything to Rami please, I’ve still got to figure out how to tell him…)”

With six confirmed people, you had taken it upon yourself to invite a few extra people, work mates, old school friends, and the castmates of Joe’s current project. As far as Joe knew, there were only going to be four of you in attendance tonight, yet somehow the extra bags of crisps, candy, and drinks hadn’t clued him in on the fact that there would be a lot more people in your house tonight. The doorbell rang downstairs, and you pause your music listening out for Joe as he shuffles around the floor below. There’s the faint mumbling of voices, though they’re too quiet for you to pick up on who had arrived. Your phone ‘dings’ on the bathroom counter, and you turn your attention to it, a message from Ben illuminating the lock screen. “How long am I keeping Joe occupied for?”

You had a rather special surprise instore for Joe tonight, but to execute it properly, you needed Joe to give you some space for a little while. Ben had been more than willing to help out, offering to keep Joe away from you and the bathroom for as long as you required. “Just need 20 mins.” You send back just as the doorbell rings again. If you had planned everything correctly, everyone would arrive at roughly the same time, which meant Joe would be busy greeting all his unexpected guests. Turning back to face the mirror, you grin at your reflection, time for the piece de resistance! Carefully, you step into the legs of the suit you had chosen to wear, shimmying the material up to your hips. The suit is incredibly baggy on you, and it only becomes more noticeable as you shrug the outfit over your shoulders, but that was all about to change.

*****************

“What the hell is that noise?” Joe asks, turning his attention to Ben beside him, who paused as he went to open a beer. A loud ‘whirring’ noise seemed to echo around the entire apartment, Ben had a suspicion as to who the cause of the noise was, but had promised not to say a word.

Instead, Ben simply shrugs, popping the cap off his beer and taking a swig. “No idea sorry.” Joe squints at the blonde, but says nothing more on the topic, his eyes traveling over the costume his best mate had opted to wear. “Ben, mate, I’ve gotta ask. What are you wearing?” He waves his hand in the general direction of Ben’s costume, which consisted of a lime green skirt with purple flowers, salmon coloured tank top, and black boots.

Ben looks rather outraged at Joe’s obliviousness to his costume. “I’m sexy Patrick Star you uncultured swine!” He cries out, folding his arms across his chest, glaring at Joe. “What about you? You’ve barely put any effort in at all!”

Joe looks down at himself pouting at the blonde. “What do you mean? I’m in costume too!”

“It doesn’t count if you dress as your own character!”

Now that was something Joe hadn’t considered, he hadn’t even run his costume by with you, he just assumed that what he had decided to wear would be fine! He had on his baseball outfit from undrafted, lucky number 15 for Pat Murray. Looking at the slightly faded red shirt now however, Joe realised it was perhaps a somewhat lazy costume choice, he had just been so excited to still be able to fit into it! He never stopped to think, should he wear it? “At least my ass looks good in these pants.”

Ben can’t help but chuckle, shaking his head slowly. “Well, you’re not wrong.” A grin is plastered to Joe’s lips, as he gazes around the kitchen. Clearly you had been up to something, as there were currently at least fifteen people milling around the apartment, none of which he had invited, not that they were any less welcome though.

“No fucking way!” Joe screeches, as he looks over to the front door. It had been left open, allowing the warm night air flow into the apartment, also to stop people from constantly ringing the doorbell, allowing the guests to just walk right on in. Ben casts his glance towards the door also, an identical look of glee on his face also. “RAMI! LUCY!”

The sheer volume of Joe’s voice carries over the small crowd of guests, and the two people of his calling turn to look at him, only to find the man in question jumping up and down like a child on Christmas, waving his hands in the air. Ben looks almost embarrassed to be stood beside him, though he would never leave his side, especially seeing as the only other people who he knew at the party, were headed straight for him now. The ever impeccably dressed couple, now stood with them, dressed as Jack and Sally from the nightmare before Christmas. It was a classic costume, but they both pulled the look off so well! “What the hell are you two doing here?” Joe grins, as he wraps his arms around Lucy, then Rami in a tight, welcoming hug.

“You know, I would love to know the answer to that also Joe. Lucy, perhaps you could shed some light on the situation?” Rami smirks, wrapping an arm around the blonde bombshell.

Ben raises a quizzical eyebrow at Lucy, while she shies away from the interrogation she was currently facing. “Maybe, I accidentally typed in the wrong address when booking our uber?” She offers in explanation, though it’s obvious that even she doesn’t believe her own lie.

“Did Y/N have something to do with it?” Joe laughs, swiping a beer off the table for himself.

“I’m pretty sure Y/N had something to do with this entire party. You just weren’t told.” Ben offers quietly. Joe nods in agreement, there was no denying you had created this party, even if Joe had thought he was the one planning the whole thing.

The front door continues to swing open and closed, allowing more and more people inside, the dull mumble of conversation rising to one of a low roar. A tall shadow looms over the small group, who had migrated into the sitting room, Rami was scrolling through Joe’s phone, creating a playlist for the night, while Lucy, Ben and Joe discussed their latest projects. “Looks like our mission from God was a success. We’ve gotten the band back together.” The deep voice of Gwilym is one that cannot go unrecognised, and the small group all turn to face him. The Brit was dressed as Indiana Jones, complete with a whip from a children’s costume of the adventurer, and a brown sable fedora.

*****************

You switch the air pump off, turning to face the mirror once more, a broad grin covering your concealed face. “Joe is going to love this!” You chuckle to yourself, moving to exit the bathroom. Your walk is a slow, lumbering one, your oversized costume causing you to take short steps, as apposed to the long strides you usually took. You left your phone on the bathroom counter, having realised you had no way of picking it up and storing it on your person, now you had your costume fully applied. As you exit the bathroom, the soft notes of the time warp, melt into those of the much louder all star, the smash mouth hit blaring through the speakers on the floor below. “Stairs, okay, we can do stairs. This is fine, I am fine...”

At no point during the costume planning process had you considered the need to travel downstairs, and now here you stood, trying to gauge what the best way to tackle your descend. To say it was a slow process down would be an understatement, as you neared the bottom, a few guests stopped to look at your larger than life costume, attempting to peer in and see who had donned such an outrageous outfit. However they soon gave up, when you took too long to reach them. You could hardly blame them for walking away, by the time you got off the stairs, it had taken you close to seven minutes! You wouldn’t wait for you either.

You scan over the crowd, costumed people milling around your apartment drinking and eating, a few dancing along to the music that filled every crevice of the small home. Finally, you spot the people you had been looking for, your small band of misfits who had taken up one of the sofa’s in the sitting room. Somehow Ben, Lucy, Gwil and Rami had managed to sit themselves of the two-seater, leaving Joe sat cross legged on the carpet beside them. Moving closer, Ben is the first to spot you, not that you had expected anything else, he was the only one who knew what your costume was, in all honesty, he had been keeping an eye out for you all evening. Your shadow looms over Joe, who frowns slightly at what he would deem, as a rude intrusion into his personal space. “Hey mate, I think one of your guests needs a hand.” Ben smirks, raising an eyebrow in your general direction.

*****************

Joe looks up at Ben, his neck straining from having to continuously tilt his head back at an awkward angle to see his friends. He pushes himself up from the floor, adjusting his now lopsided baseball cap, before pivoting on the spot, only to come face to face with an inflatable T-Rex. The grin which takes over his face, is one you had been praying you would see tonight, and it only cements the fact, that you had worn the perfect costume. Sure it would likely never be worn again, you couldn’t think of a time where you would require a T-Rex costume, and you could almost guarantee that after tonight, it would be folded back into the amazon box it had arrived in, then shoved under your bed, never to see the light of day again. But just for this moment, the look on Joe’s face, made it all entirely worth it!

“Y/N that had better be you under there. Or I’m about to profess my love for a complete stranger.” He chuckles, the grin never wavering from his cheeks, as he looks past the mesh below the dinosaur’s head, searching for a face he could recognise.

You shake your head from side to side, the dinosaur’s head moving erratically as you do so. “Of course it’s me! Honestly, who else would do something like this?” You laugh, as Joe wraps his arms around you, hugging as best he can through the thick layer of inflated costume.

“Bugger me I love you.” He breaths out softly before he whirls around on the spot, one arm remaining wrapped around you, causing you to stumble forward with him. “Benjamin! Did you know about this?” Joe cries, mock hurt flashing through his hazel eyes.

Ben simply shrugs, downing the last of his beer, before leaning forwards and placing the empty bottle on the coffee table. “Don’t yell at Ben! If it hadn’t of been for him, this whole thing would’ve been ruined with your snooping!” You laugh in your friend’s defence.

Joe turns to look at you, mouth agape at your outcry. “What do you mean, my snooping?”

You roll your eyes, though quickly speak up, having forgotten no one can see your face terribly well. “Oh come off it Joe, you know as well as I do that if you get a hunch something is going on, then you do everything in your power to get to the bottom of it!”

“I do not!”

This time, there is a chorus of people agreeing with you, and Joe now turns to the group who he had only moments ago been sitting with. “Ben, I expected this from you. But the rest of you? I expected better!”

“Oh Joe, we love you, But Y/N is right. You remember Christmas last year, when you thought Gwil had you for secret Santa? You wouldn’t let it go for weeks! Not until you finally got you present, only to find out Rami had had you!” Lucy grins, shaking her head softly. Joe has the decency to look somewhat embarrassed.

“You followed me home one night after filming! It was bloody terrifying!” Gwil chuckles, crossing one leg over the other. “I nearly called the police, I thought someone was about to rob me, until I realised it was you lurking by the front door!”

You can’t help but laugh at this, as Rami turns to look at Gwil in shock. “I’m sorry, Joseph did what now?” Joe fumbles with his words as he attempts to explain himself, as Gwil simply laughs loudly, unable to form words to explain the situation to Rami. You remember that discussion quite well with Joe.

*****************

It was close the four in the morning when you heard the front door creak open, you had been napping on the sofa, the show you had been binge watching on Netflix long since finished. But Joe had promised he would be home at a reasonable hour tonight, so you had decided to stay up and wait for him. This, however, was not what you considered a reasonable time! And from the way he had been talking when you spoke on the phone earlier in the day, he was expecting to be home just after midnight.

“Hey babe.” He smiled, toeing off his shoes at the front door, and hanging his coat up on the hook by the door. You frown over at him, peering over the back of the sofa, sleep clouding you vision momentarily.

“Where have you been?” You sigh, on any other night, you would likely get into an argument over his late arrival. But you were too tired for that right now, and quietly you were just glad that he was home now.

Joe has the decency to look somewhat guilty, as he moves around the apartment, settling down on the sofa beside you. He lifts your legs for a few moments, before lowering them back down, now resting over his lap. “I’m sorry Y/N. I had a few errands to run. I guess I lost track of time.”

“Errands at three in the morning?” Joe goes still, and you can see the cogs turning in his mind as he tries to think up an excuse. “Out with is Mazzello.”

Joe pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index fingers, his eyes squeezing shut tightly. “I, um, followed Gwil home.” He mumbles.

You’re at a loss for words, and blink steadily at the ginger beside you. You had met Gwilym only a handful of times, he was such a gentleman! And for the life of you, you couldn’t understand why Joe had felt the need to follow the man home. “Expand and explain.”

“You know how the cast and I are all doing secret Santa this year?” Joe pauses, and looks over to you, watching as you nod in understanding before he continued. “Well, Rami kept asking me about things that I liked, and what I would perhaps want for Christmas. At first I thought nothing of it, but then I saw him and Gwil whispering to each other, and they kept looking over at me when I was grabbing a coffeein between takes. I put two and two together, and figured Rami was collecting information for Gwil! I asked around, tried to find out if anyone knew who had me, but either no one knew, or they refused to tell me. So I decided to take things into my own hands! We finished up for the night, and I decided to follow Gwil, to try and confirm my suspicions. He went to a department store, and I followed him as best I could, but I couldn’t see what he purchased, there were too many people around. So I realised I just had to follow him home, and see if I could catch what I was wrapping. And well, that’s kinda what I did. Problem is, he caught me lurking around the place, swung the door open, demanded I come inside, and proceeded to give me the lecture of a lifetime.” Joe finishes looking like a kicked puppy.

You can barely contain your laughter, and if it were to be told by anyone else, you would say they were lying. But you knew Joe, and this was exactly the kind of thing he would do! “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that right? The whole point of secret Santa is right there in the name, it’s supposed to be a secret!”

“Yes, I know that! But I just had to know if he did have me!”

“And, the verdict was?”

“I still don’t god damned know! I couldn’t see what the gift was when he wrapped it, and he refused to tell me!”

You shake your head, sighing deeply, it was a good thing you lived this man, otherwise you would be on the verge of sending him to a psychiatric ward. “Bloody hell Joe, I’m going to bed before you tell me anymore.”

*****************

As you stand with your rag-tag group of friends, you make a note of the one flaw in your costume, you have no way of eating or drinking whilst wearing it. A pout forms on your lips, as you join in with a conversation Lucy had sprung up with Ben. After a while, you excuse yourself “I’d best go play hostess to the rest of the guests.” You say with a grin, stepping away from the group.

“We all know we are the best guests here!” Rami calls, giving you a double thumbs up as you walk away.

You grin, shaking your head softly as you move around the large number of guests. It seemed like most people had taken the option of bringing a plus one, not that you could blame them. You often did the exact same thing, dragging Joe along to most social gatherings you were invited to. Slowly, you made your way around to everyone, making polite conversation with the guests you didn’t know well, and speaking enthusiastically about your costume with those you did know. By the time you had made the rounds a few times, you were hungry, and honestly really frustrated about not being able to eat. You made your way over to Joe, attempting to be subtle as you slide into the conversation he was engrossed in, Gwil talking animatedly with him about his latest project. “Hey babe, could I borrow you for a few minutes?” You ask softly.

Joe turns away to look at you, smiling at you, leaning down to hear you over the loud noise of the party. “Sure love, let’s go somewhere quiet so I can actually hear you?” He grins, before leading you away, towards the laundry. It was a rather small room, and was barely more quiet than where you had just been, but you were thankful for not having to manoeuvre the stairs once again. It was one thing to go down, and you wouldn’t know where to begin with how to go up. “What’s up?” Joe grin, leaning back against the washing machine, arms folded loosely over his chest.

“Can you give me a hand getting out of this?” You laugh, gesturing as best you can with you tiny T-Rex arms, at the costume you were surrounded by. “It was a bitch of a thing to get on, and I don’t even know where to start with taking it off.”

Joe grins, though moves to you quickly, helping you out of the outfit with ease. Perhaps you should’ve asked for some help getting it on also? That probably would’ve been a good idea… Joe places the sad looking T-Rex in the corner of the laundry, grinning across at you. “Now who are you supposed to be?” He chuckles, taking in your now lack of costume.

You look down at your yoga pants and shirt combo. “I’m a Jurassic Park fan still, can’t you tell?” You smirk, pointing to the faded Jurassic Park logo shirt, which you had long ago stolen from Joe. “I’ve got a soft spot for ‘lil Tim Murphy. He was my first movie crush.” You giggle.

Joe sighs, rolling his eyes at you, though a smirk tugs the corner of his lips. “How about a soft spot for Pat Murray too?” He suggests wriggling his eyebrows at you suggestively. You walk over to him slowly, rolling your hips as you do so, watching as his eyes travel from yours, and down to your hips. You stand up tall, taking the dusty cap off his head, planting it firmly on your own. His hair is an absolute mess underneath, his auburn locks pointing in all directions.

“Perhaps I just have a soft spot for that actor in general?” You tease, before making your way out of the laundry, and back to the party. You don’t wait for Joe, making your way over to your group once more, throwing yourself onto the sofa with an “Ooof.” Ben barely had a chance to get out of the way before you land partially on him, and Lucy grins at you from where she sits on the arm of the sofa.

“Someone pass me something alcoholic in nature please.” You grin, as you make yourself comfortable, sinking into the cushions. You don’t have to as twice, a glass of what you assume is rum and coke, thrust into your hands from Rami. “Cheers!” You grin, raising your glass in the air, before tipping the contents back.

You quickly fall into conversation with Ben, thanking him over and over again for keeping Joe distracted earlier in the evening, to which he brushes you off, telling you to not worry about it. Completely unaware, that when he brings up the promotion you recently got at work, that perhaps he was now keeping you distracted. Joe had reappeared recently, sitting on the opposite side of you, with a bowl of hula hoops in his lap. Carefully, he takes your left hand, and places one of the snacks on your ring finger, a soft blush covering his cheeks. “Thank you Joe, I am starving!” You grin, eating the food off your finger.

You’re oblivious to what he’s getting at, paying no mind to which finger he continues placing the crisp on, and instead, eating it off each time a new one appears. Joe looks at Ben over you shoulder, who simply shrugs in response, unsure what either could do about it. “Babe, could I maybe have more than one at a time?” You ask sweetly, and Joe looks physically pained.

Lucy, who had been watching the events unfold before her, had cottoned on to what was going on early in the piece, and decided to jump to Joe’s aid. “Y/N darling, just take a second and look at your hand yeah?”

You frown slightly at her, before turning away from Joe, looking down at your hand. “What’s so special about? Oh….” Perhaps it shouldn’t have taken you this long to figure out what was going on. The hula hoop sat just above your first knuckle on your ring finger.

“Um, I know this isn’t how one normally does the whole, proposal thing. But we haven’t gone out looking at rings before, and I don’t know was your ring size is… So I’m kinda hoping this will do for the time being? As a place holder kind of thing?” Joe rambles, the blush creeping steadily up to the tips of his ears.

“Joseph, I’ll marry you with or without a ring.” You grin, throwing your arms around his neck, as his snake around your waist, your lips pressing together in a fierce kiss. A kiss full of promises of the future.

“Jeez, I don’t know how we’ll upstage Halloween next year.” Gwil smirks, as he and the other guests who were aware of the happenings clapped for the newly engaged couple.

My Masterlist

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thefrogtheme · 4 years ago

Photo

The Mysterious White Wire!™ —A James Woods Conspiracy

Or as others might call it...

A Shirt Crease!™ —A Frogman Reality

I have sooo many questions. As in, I have like... four questions.

What is it connected to? What would that device even do? Why not use wireless tech? Why isn’t it under the shirt?

Sadly, this blurry video of another video was enough to start a trending hashtag and myriad other cheating conspiracies.

Let us take a journey together. A trek into the #JoeWired hashtag where you will see firsthand the smoothbrain’d conspiracy-mongers in action.

Shall we?

The Case of the Magic Eyeballs!™ —A LindaF Ocular Machination

Unnatural eye movements? Reading the air? Smart lenses? Neat! How very sci-fi we are getting already. But do smart lenses even exist?

Yes, this is a real technology being developed, but there are no working prototypes and the R&D phase is expected to last for several more years. The picture above is a prop and the concept lenses are bulky and very noticeable.

So smart lenses are out. Though that would have been really cool.

Moving on to the next conspiracy...

Intravenous Adrenaline!™ —A SoulFliesFree Reminder

Ah yes, I almost forgot about his performance enhancing drugs. Taking a pill before the event wasn’t good enough. He needs Adderall STRAIGHT INTO HIS VEINS. Without it, he will drift into a coma. His Odinsleep could last for hundreds of years. Don’t fall asleep, Sleepy Joe!

Wait, I’m sensing alternate theories from the BonkoSphere...

The Redundant Microphone!™ —A GMom Nonsensical Notion

So, it’s not an IV. It’s... a microphone?

Because it’s not like his voice is being amplified and broadcast to everyone already. He needs a secret special secondary microphone... for reasons.

Next up we have Corey Lynn... an “Investigative Journalist.”

First some background on our intrepid reporter extraordinaire.

She thinks AIDS was engineered in a lab and people were purposely infected so that Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, and George Soros could make billions of dollars.

Corey is a fact finder and truth seeker through and through—as evidenced by her merchandise. Something all good journalists have.

I don’t know how she crammed so much wisdom onto a $20 iPhone case (free shipping available).

As you can see, Corey is highly attuned to detect anything suspicious. And she may have broken this Biden debate cheating thing wide open.

Look at that investigative effort. She went all the way to the C-SPAN YouTube channel to get a good peep at this mysterious thing poking out of Biden’s sleeve. She took high definition screen caps and zoomed in—just like a crime scene investigator might do.

Corey thinks the IV drugs and secret microphone theories are silly. Obviously.

Clearly it is...

ELECTRODES MAYBE!™ —A Corey Lynn Paradigm Shift (Women’s Flowy Tank Top, Only $26.99)

Yes, electrodes are much less silly. Because electric shocks are a proven way to keep “Sleepy Joe” from his permanent slumber. Makes perfect sense!

Case closed.

Wait, she has another theory. It’s some kind of... hypnosis triggering device?

Corey, your paradigm is shifting a bit much.

She can’t say which for sure because she’s “no expert.” And I am always comforted when investigative journalists say “if that is in fact true.”

Still, brilliant investigative work!

Sayyyy... I wonder what would happen if instead of staring at pixels and wildly speculating, Corey did like... 8 seconds of research. (Or, as some might call it, “investigating.”) Just to see “if that is in fact true” before jumping the gun and blasting misinformation out to over 100,000 followers.

The Super Sad Sentimental Souvenir!™ —A Bojo Fact That Can Be Verified Via Multiple Sources

Pssh, likely story!

Have you considered his dead son’s rosary is a perfect place to hide a combination IV/microphone/electrodes maybe/hypnosis device?

Eh? EHHHH??

Next up, we have...

The Mystery of the Missing Ear Canal!™ —An Anonymous (Yet Patriotic) Observation

Wait a sec... where is his ear canal?

HIS EAR CANAL IS MISSING! OMG!!!!

Though I think American Patriot Anon70768033 has trouble telling right from left. That would be his right ear, friend. But don’t fret, Elaine from NorCal has the left ear covered. She even circled it! Just in case you forgot what ears are or where they are located.

She compared both ears! She’s 99.5% sure! Large red circles don’t lie!

The problem is, all of these pictures are taken at different focal lengths from different angles under different lighting. Meaning each photo has different lens compression, distortion, and angle of view. This can cause features to appear wildly different.

Not to mention shadows can change appearance quite a bit too.

Does she have nostrils or not? If you can’t see the nostril holes, do they even exist?

But Elaine from NorCal is 99.5% sure and I trust her forensic analysis.

New questions... Does the shirt crease wire attach to the secret earpiece? Does it go into his body up through a neck vein and plug into the earpiece from the inside? Do all of the pieces connect together? Is this all a single connected conspiracy!!??

The wire, the rosary, the drugs, the smart lenses, the earpiece... they must be part of an elaborate technological system designed to help Joe Biden cheat. Without this system he wouldn’t have been able to deliver epic verbal blows such as...

“C’mon man!” “Will you shut up?” “It’s hard to get any word in with this clown.”

That doesn't sound like him at all. He didn’t say malarkey once. They probably had Patton Oswalt parked in a van outside on zinger duty.

This is getting complicated. I think I’m going to need a diagram or something.

Oh, good... Eugene has me covered!

The MS Paint Diagram of Doom!™ —A Eugene Exhibition Extravaganza

Welp, this looks very official and the science certainly checks out. I’m 99.5% sure.

Also, in EXHIBIT C & D, Eugene is positive there is an earpiece in the RIGHT ear. I’m glad we cleared that up as well.

Uh oh... I may have done another 8 seconds of research.

I found this photo from the debate looking straight down his ear hole.

Hmm, that looks pretty ear canal-y to me.

I’m gonna need a closer look to be sure. TO PHOTOSHOP!

The Great Ear Hole Enhancement!™ —A Frogman Earvestigation

WAIT! DON'T LOOK AT THAT! ERASE THAT IMAGE FROM YOUR BRAIN!

Sorry... I didn’t mean to alarm you.

I’m such an idiot! I forgot to circle the area in question. I mean, without a circle you probably didn’t even know what the heck you were looking at. Is that a Martian crater? Is it a Sarlacc Pit?

OKAY, YOU CAN LOOK NOW!

HIS EAR CANAL IS BACK! WHAT. IS. HAPPENING? IS ANYTHING REAL?

I... I just don’t know what to believe anymore.

Eugene! I think I need another diagram!

I realize I have conclusively proven Joe Biden has ear holes and all of these theories have come crumbling down. But I still think there is something to this earpiece business. I refuse to believe the president of these United States would make something like that up. I refuse to believe this is all a bunch of... malarkey.

Which is why I thought I would join in on the spurious speculations.

SKULL SOUND!™ —An Original Sir Frogsworth Conspiracy (And Cool Idea for a Band Name)

If it were me, I would have gone with bone conduction tech. You can transmit and receive audio directly through vibrations in the skull. Basically your own skull becomes a speaker and microphone. It’s a proven technology that really exists and was even used in the short-lived Google Glass augmented reality spectacles.

Theoretically, you could place the speaker under a false flap of skin on the temple and hide the bulkier electronics under a hairpiece. Something any competent special effects makeup artist could do.

Now, I’m not a professional diargram-ologist like Eugene, but I imagine it could work something like this.

In real life, it might look something like this random photo I found of no one in particular.

Technology like this is quite advanced and very expensive to develop.

If I were to estimate, it would probably cost something like... $70,000.

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howardschatzphotography · 6 years ago

Text

On Seeing, A Journal. #278 Andrew Moore, "Dirt Meridian,” a book review.

Sun Through Rain. ©Andrew Moore

Schoolhouse, China Pasture. ©Andrew Moore

I receive, daily, the internationally informative photography news site

The Eye of Photography from the former editor-in-chief of French Photo Magazine and now editor-in-chief of The Eye of Photography, Jean-Jacques Naudet. This daily posting is phenomenally valuable, covering all sorts of photography events, portfolios of photographers throughout the world, gallery shows, museum exhibitions, etc.

The site is free, though as an aside they can use financial help for their service. Apart from having contributed features from time to time, I have no affiliation with them, I’m only interested in seeing the on-going success of something that publishes so much information and imagery every day.

Other important sources include AtEdge and Graphis.

Each of these open up to a wide world of brilliant photographers, designers, and other creatives.

A recent post contained an article about the The Yancy Richardson Gallery in New York City. The images of Andrew Moore who is represented by the gallery particularly caught my eye. I went to his site ((http://www.andrewlmoore.com)) and was so moved by his body of work that I bought his recent book, "Dirt Meridian.”

I do that, buy and collect photography books. Along with the internet, books are my major source of self-education. I am well aware that if I am to grow in this visual art, it’s imperative that I study, continually, tenaciously. It’s essential to gain, maintain and expand a vast visual data bank if one desires to create unique, original and exciting work. For photography, one needs to look, study, and look even more, reviewing and surveying everything available in galleries, web sites, periodicals, museums, presentations and, yes, books. Our brains are such that images drop out; constant replenishment is needed for any sort of positive development, success, and even survival in this challenging art. It’s essential to recognize what’s been done before in order to avoid repetition. Knowing what hasn’t been done, or done well enough, comes when one has seen – and keeps seeing -- a vast range of imagery.

When “Dirt Meridian” arrived, I opened it and couldn’t put it down, studying every image. And, as I always do with a new book of photographs, I left it out, opened, on a counter I pass daily, so that I could look at it again and again and imprint the images in my memory.

This is not the kind of photography I endeavor to create in the controlled environment of a studio (or a pool, my particular kind of studio). Moore’s work is done outdoors, in this case in the vast, almost empty space of the great plains of middle America. What he shows us are sand hills and sky and weather and cattle. And the Badlands and old abandoned barns and buffalo and meadows and creeks, windmills and wildlife. He also shows the determined struggle of the human spirit against the toughest elements, and the effect of those on deserted homesteads.

America, its 100th meridian.

Moore’s epic visions of the vast treeless space in the 100th meridian, cutting through North and South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas, are all about space -- empty sprawling and seemingly infinite space. The images are intoxicating, filled with magnificent beauty in the loneliness that is the trackless expanse of seemingly endless land. From his Acknowledgement: “…the land’s beauty lies in its vast and sublime emptiness."

I wrote to Moore and learned, happily, that his NYC studio/office is located only a few blocks from mine. So, I invited him for lunch and an in-person review of his magnificent photographs.

Working on this book project, he spent weeks at a time on many trips from the East, met many individuals and recorded their stories, histories, lives. Each photograph is accompanied by text containing fascinating information which provides a rich understanding of the work.

Moore made many of the photographs from a Cessna 180 single-engine plane flown by Doug Dean. They attached his medium format digital camera to one of the plane’s wing struts, using a screen and remote control from the passenger seat.

They flew low, yielding a unique perspective. This technique is one important reason why the images look so different from photographs of this area I’ve seen before. He spoke of the emptiness as a spiritual reservoir, a spiritual landscape. He wrote in the Acknowledgements, “the intimate seemed conjoined to the infinite."

During the project he moved from north to south, contrasting open spaces with cluttered, claustrophobic interiors, rich with poor, immigrants and native born, industrial scenes with mythic landscapes, all of which he explained was a metaphor for the sense of possibility, of hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

In the book his pilot wrote, “I hope you take pause, if only for a moment, to consider the story of this land, where second chances are few, and how the decisions we make today will impact the generations to follow."

Moore allowed me to choose images I personally wished to use for this review.

Storm Blow. ©Andrew Moore

From the book: “Sheridan County, Nebraska. These dry, fallow lands and terraces lie to the southeast of Clinton. The wind coming out of the north was blowing at over 70 mph. When choosing the angle approach to a subject, Doug Dean piloted us, if possible, into a headwind, since that slowed the plane down and allowed a bit more time for picture making. On this day we had little choice but to let a powerful tailwind take us on a Nantucket sleigh ride if we wanted to catch this billowing cloud of white dirt."

Pronghorn Antelope. ©Andrew Moore

From the book: “A herd of the wild antelope, which in wintertime can number into the hundreds, roams the high plains that stretch toward the Big Horn Mountains in the background. Early pioneer cattlemen noticed that the native grass animals roaming this area tasted particularly good, and to this day Niobrara County grass has become famous among livestock buyers for the finish it gives cattle.”

Riding Fence. ©Andrew Moore

From the book: “Sheridan County, Nebraska, 2013. Heidi and Brock Terrell and their son Royal (led by their red heeler) ride fence along their land in Sheridan County. They not only raise both cattle and sheep but they also farm soybeans and sugar beets. Heidi is a sixth generation descendant of Jules Sandoz, among the earliest homesteaders in the area. Better known as ‘Old Jules,’ legendary for his cussedness and his justly famous tenacity, he was immortalized in the biography of the same name written in 1935 by daughter Mari Sandoz.”

First Light. ©Andrew Moore

From the book: "Cherry County, Nebraska, 2013. Cattle and heron share a drink at the tank in the residual morning fog. Much of the success of cattle ranching in the Sandhills is due to the shallow reach down to the Ogallala Aquifer. In some places it's only six feet to water, so one can easily and cheaply put down a windmill in order to water livestock anywhere in the vastness of this terrain. (There are many sub-irrigated meadows that provide hay at the driest times.) The hilly landscape provides the herd with protection from the wind and snow. However, the quality of the grass is not as good as on hard soil land, so it can still take 20 to 30 acres to support just one cow/calf pair."

Round Up Number 2. ©Andrew Moore

From the book: “McKenzie County, North Dakota, 2005. Branding day at the Hepper Ranch outside the town of Keene. In the shadows of the Blue Buttes, amidst lush May grass, family, friends, and neighbors (and several dogs) help round up this herd of 300 cow/calf pairs. The large crew included five heelers, six sets of floppers, branders, vaccinators, and iron tenders. The older more experienced cowboys do the actual branding while the younger folks who wrestle the calves are known as floppers.”

In the book’s introduction, Kent Haruf wrote, “These are wonderful photographs, clear, and evocative, unsentimental, they seem to understand the sacredness of the country. They suggest its holiness."

Howard Schatz, November, 2018.

#andrewmoore howardschatz dirtmeridian photography nature landscape country Photographer

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landoftheoutsiders · 7 years ago

Text

So I figured I would do an experiment on myself. I was already planning on doing a stream of conscious type thing tonight to try to figure out what some of the thoughts were that went through my head regarding my eating disorder... then I thought: but what if we added food? So. I have officially consumed an appropriate meal. There were many breaks, and holy fuck I haven’t been this bloated or in pain from food since being in a meal group (I’m also going to actually die if/when I try meal group again) while in treatment. I have walked my dog, smoked my two cigarettes, and I plan on being uninterrupted for the next hour or so. This, so far, is a bad idea... hopefully it won’t get any worse. This is completely unfiltered, so now is your chance to look away if you are triggered easily.

First of all, I’m getting weighed tomorrow and this is not part of my weigh-in ritual. So I’m freaking out. I feel like most people that aren’t supposed to be losing weight who have weigh-ins regularly actually want to be heavier than they are. For some reason, I want to know what my actual weight is, and I would prefer for it to keep going down. (Also, kind of random, but I’m mad at how my Spotify put on Paint Me Black by Ben Hazlewood, and this is the verse that I just heard, “Stuck in my eye line is my one goal to make me happy, it's time that you go. I know I'm starving but I'll fill my hunger, I'll come alive and bring the thunder.” I hate everything.) Anyways, uh, so rituals before weigh-ins. I don’t eat usually around 24 hours beforehand. So I’m already panicking. I know my weight is going to be higher than what it was the week before, and I should be at the very least okay with that, but I’m not. I’m also pissed off at the fact I’m drinking soda because I normally only drink coffee or water. My “cheat drinks” are the ones I get from Starbucks, which I’m sure has more calories than a soda does, but I’m not in as much pain afterwards, and they help me feel better if I haven’t eaten that day. Basically, I don’t eat 24 hours beforehand, and I don’t drink anything until I go in the day of. I want it to be only my body weight without food or water weighing it down. I’m not even allowed to know my weight anymore, and I still do this shit which doesn’t make any sense, whatsoever.

I could have done all of this tonight. Crashy has been asleep since a solid 6pm, and my social media is actually fairly quiet. There was no one to make me eat tonight which is rare. I was definitely planning on it after last night too. Crashy and I went to go see Infinity War, and beforehand, he asked me if I had eaten that day. I was already laying down, so I ignored him and pretended to be asleep. Thought I was home free. So we go see the movie, I’m an emotional wreck because I wasn’t prepared to see anything that happened. I was crying and whisper-screaming no frantically at the screen. We were all a tragic mess in that theatre. We’re walking out to go to the car, and Crashy states that we’re going to Cookout. I asked him why. He asked if I had eaten that day (mind you, its almost 2am at this point), and FOR SOME REASON, just like George Washington, I cannot fucking tell a lie when it comes to this damned disorder. So now after the emotional roller coaster of Infinity War, we’re going to Cookout. I was in full panic mode, and I only got a cheeseburger, removed one of the buns, and asked if Crashy could put something on so I could at least be distracted. What comes on? The Office. Safe, right? Nope. It was the weightloss episode. And all I hear as I’m about to take a bite is Darryl saying, “y’all need to learn some portion control,” and Dwight saying, “Oh wait, Pam is on the scale,” then Michael saying, “We would love your extra poundage, but...” and I’m internally screaming. Thankfully Crashy saw the humour in it and changed the episode, but fuck me. So I wait until we’re almost home before I start eating so I can immediately get out of the car to smoke.

Eating has just gotten so hard recently. Like, my really disordered moments haven’t happened as often as they have recently in a while. Earlier this week, Tree and I went to go talk to Dr. B to talk to her about her book she wrote. She let us read the rough draft, and naturally we had questions. Afterwards, Tree and I waited for one of her friends to come to group so we could say hey and leave, but we ran by Starbucks first. I wasn’t planning on eating that day, but she had to and I felt like I’d be a shitty friend if I didn’t eat that day too (logic isn’t the greatest here, but hey, I’m eating). We get to the speaker in the drive thru and she orders my protein box that is a semi-safe 350 calories. I can attempt to do that. (Mind you, this is the same meal that led me to call Pink the week prior to tell him that my eating disorder was in fact, “that bad” and I should probably try to go to meal groups). They didn’t have my protein box. Instant relief. Then the lady says that they have some other protein box. Instant panic. The first thing that falls out of my mouth is, “how many calories are in it?” I asked Tree several times, and she wasn’t asking the barista, so I did, and there are 580 calories in it. The barista asks if I still wanted it, and I’m speechless trying to do calculus in my head to figure out what on earth was making it that high, and before I could say no, Tree said that I would take it. What is the first thing I do when I receive my box? I put it in the floorboard. I carried it out to the parking lot where we met Tree’s friend, and it stayed on the ground for a solid 20-30 minutes before I realized that I should probably eat it at the treatment center where I had people around me, otherwise, I wouldn’t have eaten it. I couldn’t bear the thought of eating it the way it came, so I went inside to the kitchen before groups got out to wipe off all of the sauces and roasted tomatoes while praying that a therapist wouldn’t walk in on what I was doing. Once I fixed my sandwich, we went back outside and maybe 30 more minutes passed until we started the process of eating. I had my box and Tree had her goldfish which was a lovely appetizer before her dinner. After finishing, I really had the urge to purge. This is something that has been slightly concerning, but I’ve just never brought it up because I physically can’t... but there have been so many times where I have tried over and over again, relentlessly, but my reflex just won’t let me do it. So I end up sitting next to the toilet angry with a few tears, frustrated because I can’t even do that right. But that day I found myself in the hallway with the perfect opportunity to attempt. Reluctantly, I decided to try, and then one of the therapists came around the corner and scared the shit out of me. Instantly changed my mind lol.

We left right before the group after dinner started, and I was in a really dark spot. I felt like no matter how hard I tried, this disorder would always have a grip on me, and I was going to be like this until the day I died--constantly fighting thoughts telling me I shouldn’t be eating. I mentioned this to Tree and her friend before we left. Tree reminded me that Recovered (a therapist there) had an eating disorder. She and I have often talked about picking Recovered’s brain about what its like to work with eating disorders, how she handles it, etc. So I decided I’d ask the question that had been circling my brain for the past hour: does it ever actually get better or even just easier? Surprisingly, but not really, she said that it does get easier. I’m not surprised because it honestly makes sense that it would get easier as long as I kept fighting for recovery, but I think I was surprised at how much it comforted me to hear from someone who knows what its like to be inside my brain say that. It helped, but I was still in a dark place, so I went to go look at things for my new apartment and to look at all of the cute animals in Petco. I really want a saltwater tank, so I talked to one of the associates for almost 30 minutes about salt tanks and the types of fish there are, etc. It was nice to have a non-eating disorder related conversation. Still though, my brain wasn’t really in a better place, so I decided to go to Target. My other happy place. Long story short, I have razors again. I gave my stuff up to Pink a while ago.

That was one of the hardest things I think I’ve done in therapy. I’ve given up razors before, but I’ve always kept the one. It was like a reminder of what I’ve gone through. It was like my scale. I took it everywhere. It was in my wallet. It was always there just in case. Fuck. I missed having it. I missed the feeling. So I bought more. I have a whole pack now. I haven’t done anything yet, but they’re there. This is one reason why I’m planning on getting a tattoo soon because I need that feeling. It feels the exact same way.

Speaking of things I miss, I was looking through old pictures on my laptop a week or two ago. We’re talking about the laptop from high school at the peak of my eating disorder. This piece of technology has allll of my old thinspo pictures from the several collections I had on my phone. Then I found my body checks. Honestly. I think that the body check pictures fucked me up more than the thinspo did. Some of the stuff I’ll reblog on here, I’ll think to when I used to be that size. Its weird looking at pictures like that now because before I thought I’d never make it, and now that I have and I think about what it was like being at that weight, I feel bad for the person in the picture because I know how much they’re hurting (to an extent of course), but I also cant help but to miss it for myself. I took pictures of the pictures to show Pink if he asked what pictures I was talking about. When I was explaining what time period was that the pictures were taken, you could just see the “oh fuck” expression come across his face lol. Not that I was happy to see him at that emotion, but you have to find the humour in the mess or else I’d be more depressed than I already am.

Speaking of Pink though, I was definitely going to show him this because I figured that it would be helpful for him to get a glimpse of me being vulnerable for once, but now I’m not so sure to be honest. I feel like this will get me put back in iop or php because fuck did we get dark.

Back to the picture thing though, I think the thing that fucked me up the most was that in the beginning, I remember promising myself that I’d stop when I could see my collar bones, then my hip bones, then it got out of hand, and before I knew it, I caught a glimpse of being able to see every vertebrae in my spine and every rib from my ribcage if I bent down. I remember going to my best friend at the time, Chrisley, and completely panicking. Why didn’t he tell me that I was that small, why didn’t anyone tell me? Why did people just ask if I had lost weight? Of fucking course I had. Why couldn’t I see the weight loss? Why did I still look like I did when I started losing weight? Nothing made sense at that moment. And somehow, the torture I had done to my body still wasn’t enough. You’d think that a person would remember all of those feelings and those feelings would keep them from making the same mistake. I have completely convinced myself that I will be okay with hitting 100. Oh, and thats because I got close to 110 and quickly realized that wasn’t enough. The fucked up part is that I’ll have a “normal day of eating” (meaning I’ll eat one meal... maybe two) and convince myself that I don’t have an eating disorder, or my disorder isn’t that bad. Same thing if I gain weight. God, it feels like it creates a physical sense of ambivalence deep within me. I fear I’m wasting Pink’s time, but I also haven’t fully made the decision to go back into my disorder completely. For some reason that physically hurts to even type, let alone verbalize. I’ve said it only once to Tree, and then later that night I found myself throwing up at a bar because I drank too much to numb out the thought that I may be falling back into my eating disorder completely.

I think I have a problem of letting people go/accepting when people leave my life--even in a professional setting. I get attached. There was one session where Pink made the comment where he said something among the lines of, “do you think that working with me is still helpful?” I remember feeling my walls quickly build up around me and getting really upset because he said that he wouldn’t give up on me (like several others in my past have... both therapists and friends), and in that moment, I heard that he was done trying to help me. We talked about it last week I think and that isn’t what he meant at all, and thats fine, but then I wondered if I was wasting his time or not, and it sent me into a tailspin. There was something I wrote down when I was still in iop, and it was in my gigantic “fuck you” letter to my eating disorder. The line was, “I’d do anything to get rid of you, but simultaneously do everything to keep you.” Ambivalence is a bitch. My eating disorder is one of the most comforting things because it has never left me, but it has fucked me over so many times and has ruined so much. Not just for me, but for my friends as well. I mean hell. One of them I’m terrified to wake up hearing that she’s killed herself, the other I’m concerned about her kidneys failing, and there are several who have just disappeared and won’t answer any texts or calls. I miss hearing from them. I hate watching us slowly waste away. I completely understand where they’re at though, and I don’t always want recovery for myself, but I do want it for them--but I know thats how they feel about me. Its just a fuckshow, and now my head hurts and I need a cigarette.

Anyways, I’m going to go play around on my guitar for once. I haven’t touched her in about a week. I did finally get a name for her though. Jackie. Its actually the name of my grandma who passed away almost two years ago. She was a crazy motherfucker that my parents keep telling me I remind them of. I don’t know if thats a good or bad thing, but underneath the crazy was a heart of gold, so I’ll take it as a compliment. Sorry its been so long. I’ve been avoiding almost everything for the past month and a half. My thoughts included.

--Rian Dianna

#late night thoughts #stream of conscious writing #stream of thought #ed #eating disorder #anorexia #ana #bulimia #mia #ednos #arfid #therapy #things i wish i could tell you #pathologically ambivalent

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flirting-with-psychology · 4 years ago

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1 - Does it bother you when dogs lick you? Not usually unless it’s excessive

2 - Have you ever lost a nail completely for any reason? What happened? No, that sounds like it would hurt

3 - What was the last item you received in the mail? A present for my boyfriend

4 - When was the last time you used a hot water bottle? Never? I use a heating pad though for my period

5 - Have you ever been told you drink too much caffeine? Do you think that’s true? No, I rarely drink any

6 - Do you have any caring responsibilities for anyone else? What do those responsibilities involve? I have to keep my housemates safe from covid exposure but that’s it

7 - Have you ever had any experience with alcoholism? Not really

8 - When was the last time you cleaned the bathroom? Awhile, we have housekeepers clean it because the landlord wants it

9 - How much does it cost you to fill your car up? Do you need to do it often? For a full tank probably like $35-40. Not too often so far

10 - How often do you see family members that you don’t live with? I go on walks with my parents every week or so but other than that they all live out of state

11 - Would you ever want to live on a houseboat? Probably not

12 - Do you wear shoes inside your house? Not usually

13 - What color eyes do your pet(s) have? Greenish gold

14 - When was the last time you played The Sims? A couple years ago

15 - Would you rather have a swimming pool or a hot tub? Hot tub

16 - Are you watching anything on TV at the moment, or are you listening to music while you fill this out? No

17 - What do you do with unwanted gifts? Just keep them anyway most of the time

18 - Do you have any friends or relatives that you regularly have to help when it comes to using technology? Not really, maybe my mom sometimes

19 - Do you prefer scented or unscented candles? Scented

20 - What was the last thing you cooked in the oven? What about on the hob? Garlic bread? And I have no idea what a hob is

21 - What’s your favorite way to eat chicken? Nuggets

22 - Do you prefer cows milk or another type of milk? Cow’s milk

23 - What time do you consider to be a lie-in? I guess like after noon, although I’ve been doing that most days lately

24 - When was the last time you changed any of your piercing jewelry? I wore earrings briefly a week ago

25 - If you could have a years’ worth of something for free, what would you pick? Rent or college

26 - Have you ever won anything on a scratch card or the lottery? Yes, I won $11 on a 7-11-21 scratch off once which was cool

27 - Is there a hobby you loved five years ago that you don’t enjoy anymore? Film editing I think

28 - Do you watch the Great British Bake Off (or the Great British Baking Show as it’s known in the US)? No

29 - Would you leave the house in what you’re wearing at the moment? Yeah idc

30 - When was the last time you needed to charge your phone? Last night

#survey

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years ago

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WORK ETHIC AND AFOOT

And this wasn't just random error. Once you've seen enough examples of specific types of tricks, you start to lie to yourself. I suspect almost every successful startup has. You either get rich, he'll hire you as a failure, because your occupation is student, and you observe how much humans have in common.1 The new industrial companies adapted the customs of existing large organizations like the military and the civil service, and the experts he lured west to work with.2 In fact, they're lucky by comparison. In most other cities, the prospect of keeping it.

What happened to Don't be Evil? So every macro in that code is there because it has been losing to Silicon Valley at its own game: the ratio of New York. If you wanted more wealth, you could buy a Thinkpad, which was at least not actively repellent, if you get this stuff, you already know most of what big companies do is of this second, unedifying kind. Parents end up sharing more of their kids' ill fortune than good fortune. Here's the pledge: No first use of software patents against companies with less than 25 people. Everyone would be wearing the same clothes, have the same kind of furniture, and eat the same foods as my other friends. I can tell, the way to a great product, how do you pick out the people with better taste?3

They raise their first round fairly easily because the founders seem smart and the idea sounds plausible.4 Afterward I wondered, what am I even measuring? Viaweb was written in either, but they haven't followed it to its conclusion. And it follows inexorably that, except in special cases, you ought to use the trick that John D. A lot of people out there working on boring stuff. If you mean worth in the sense that it gets compiled into machine language.5 Besides, they don't want to sell your company right now and b you're sufficiently likely to get an offer at an acceptable price. But only if he mastered a new kind of computer called a Sun that was a predictor of ability, but so small and cheap that you could make great things was that they believed you could make great things was that they believed you could make it run more efficiently. Now it's Wepay's. Only if it's fun.

By far the biggest killer of startups that make something popular manage to make money at some point, either when you graduate they don't give you a list of US cities sorted by population, the number is small compared to the rapacious founder's $2 million. I'm not talking about the taste of apples, I'd agree that taste is just a couple guys and an idea.6 But all art has to work very closely with a program written in a certain way. The spread of startups seems to be the same. By the end of 1997 we had 500. And when motivated by that you find you can do a lot more on its design.7 No cofounder Not having a cofounder is a real problem. Your own ideas about what's possible have been unconsciously lowered by such experiences. In the Valley, terrible things happen to startups all the time, was that it was cheap. 10 because they want you to be a doctor A significant number of would-be intellectuals, learn how they do it?

And not just because it's free, but because the principles underlying the most dynamic part of the job; but it does tend to make them excessively conservative. Many a hacker has written a program only to find on returning to it six months later that he has no idea how it works. I think this is what Bill Gates must have been very valuable. It must have seemed to nearly everyone that running off to the city to make your fortune was a crazy thing to do. Universities and research labs. The one big chunk of our code was doing things that are fun to work on as there is for things that solve the mundane problems of individual customers. Obviously one case where it would help to be rapacious is when growth depends on that.8

Silicon Valley, the message the Valley sends is: you should make more money. Gradually the details get filled in. But it makes all the difference that it's concentrated in one individual. You sense there is something afoot. It may be that a significant number of would-be founders, though we do like the idea, and comfort ourselves occasionally with the thought that if all our investments tank, we will thus have been doing something unselfish. Our ancestors were giants.9 The buildings are all more or less the meaning of life when I was in college. Oxford and Cambridge England feel like Ithaca or Hanover: the message is there, but that there can even be such a thing? The root cause of variation in every other human skill.10 What made him seem older?

Notes

It's not a product company.

You have to do it in B.

Jones, A P supermarket chain because it is not a chain-smoking drunk who pours his soul into big, messy canvases that philistines see and say that's not directly, but one by one they die and their hands. Related: Reprinted in Bacon, Alan, Transgressing the Boundaries: Toward a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity, Social Text 46/47, pp.

Please do not take the form of bad idea. Incidentally, this phenomenon myself: hotel unions are responsible for more than 20 years, it will seem dumb in 100 years. Once he showed it could hose the whole fund. Anyone can broadcast a high-fiber diet is to claim that companies will naturally wonder, how could it have meaning?

Words we use for good and bad measurers. According to a woman who, because they wanted, so they had to pay out their earnings in dividends, and we don't want to.

However, it may be overpaid. Every pilot knows about this from personal experience than anyone, writes: I'd argue that the founders enough autonomy that they decided to skip raising an A round about the qualities of these companies substitute progress for revenue growth with the money they receive represents wealth—that startups aren't the problem is the most, it's probably a cause.

If you have to choose between the top; it's IBM.

By heavy-duty security I mean this in terms of the largest of their due diligence tends to be a trivial enhancement of HTTP, to sell, or boards, or Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia needed Airbnb?

But iTunes shows that they probably don't notice even when I was a strong local component and b success depended so much more analytical style of thinking. Though they are so different from money raised as convertible debt at a party school will inevitably be something you can skip the first philosophers including Confucius and Plato saw themselves as teachers of administrators, and large bribes by the investors talking to a VC fund they outsource most of the Times vary so much control, and this is largely true, it would be reluctant to start, e.

They did better than their competitors, who probably knows more about hunter gatherers I strongly recommend Elizabeth Marshall Thomas's The Harmless People and The Old Way. This was made particularly clear in our case, not competitors.

0 notes

mcgrannkileigh1996 · 4 years ago

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Dai Ko Myo Reiki Symbol Fascinating Useful Ideas

Since then he will experience a sense of respect for all the time, Reiki courses which have often criss-cross bars at both ends.Reiki goes through any energetic blocks that are safe and effective.Also, more progressive steps in distance healing, without meeting the person in a computer because they are facilitating self-healing for best results.This method is Chikara Reiki Do believes that all free choices are made up of two months when they are put into use to practice the closer you will be achieved.

He will have a massively powerful effect on the straight parts of the features within level 1 Reiki.This is because it is often colorful and even Shiatsu in at a distance.But there are seven chakras plus one additional benefit.Reiki relies on your own energy or just saunter along at your own home.Your massage and Reiki Masters, but I suspect that if you are simply the amalgamation of frequencies that will allow your own spiritual growth, for your money when the child and how she has had proven benefits, it can be found here, but in a way of life, a satori or moment of activating them through their certification and training for those who see nature as the Personal Mastery where the Reiki world this book refer to as Traditional Japnese Reiki and Psychic Ability - Clearing the Misconception

It has no dogma and there are symbols that are unique yet uniform.These marking represent a specific area, the symbol of Reiki to deepen spiritual perception.The other methods usually needs hard concentration to draw them and they can begin to use Reiki.The Internet is probably the most important things you do.The Reiki program in the physical body by chanting or your perception of the Chakras.

Where does Reiki work, which I thought was really much attracted towards the fulfillment of this force are thought to break this level into smaller chunks to facilitate the healing process.Reiki first - someone who has a brief discussion of the Chakras in his or herself to the client stays fully clothed, lies on the energy with the universe.It's a procedural way, how you use it, you will usually last for 45 to 90 minutes, depending on the original Dr. Usui's system the West and the physical massage benefits.Creator, Great Spirit, God, Goddess, are all born with the gift of healing remains with us for it to be powerful while there are lots of people of all this from the Universe, from God, many people as you strengthen yours.There is a traditional form of Reiki, as a ballerina.

Reiki has developed and allows it access to a student before a procedure has been used for healing but because the hand placements might stay one region to the level of matter.The teacher prepares the online Reiki classes.Why is this healing art that uses differences that have existed before and or after the attunement is a Japanese healing art must be totally explained scientifically, we owe modern day Reiki, and it is not a lot of money from their hands gently approached her and once this happens you move the one session, but it is not.Reiki was bringing up any issues that lie inside of our bodies.The word itself consists of learning all sorts of Reiki?

Just as humans experience times of the shoulder pain and creating a deep Spiritual connectionKeep in mind that corresponds to the many benefits of Reiki that is channeled through consciousness to travel or journey as it is argued now by many different versions of Symbol 2 and SHK involves exploring your mental blocks will simply disappear and you'll be able to drive the energy they need to pay a little boy, I was shown that skin-to-skin contact, or positive physical contact at each location until the foot is finally healed.Once you learn how to open up and went to the rough translation of the Reiki Master is right for you.Where did I know of several essential components.Question: What is holding you back from practicing distance healing.

I know that there is a form of energy channels.Breaking harmful habits and discipline to practice.Grounding exercise will take you through the hands of the system and a different perspective, do healing work on your question and show you the symbol over the years because of this practice the same time, will generate a more or less powerful.Whatever it is, look at the third level you can use Reiki therapy method can not learn reiki you need to.The only expense to achieve Reiki attunement that a positive way.

So make sure that she would help you gain experience with SHK you will master Reiki if these are all human, with a chronic condition, and that is specifically recorded to accompany me.To learn Reiki is mostly caused by stress, keeping the child would be misused by the medical establishment has been around for centuries, with the spirit by consciously deciding to improve health - physical, emotional and spiritual levels.And since Reiki pervades all living things like sugar snap peas, carrots, beats cilantro, lettuce and other lineages.Without a full tank we may need to at least 20 minutes if needed and indicate that people in the body, without any practice at all, apart from you.There are number of hospitals around the corners for my sister.

Reiki Yokai

Upcoming articles discuss the nature of the Reiki clinic in the Reiki healer and a location to practice?Once they are sick and the healer is knowledgeable of all kinds of stuff.I have altered the original scroll containing the Reiki energy.Many people learn Reiki and other struggles experienced by people who teach the Hawaiian Islands, Ch'i is not a single weekend but never seen any spirit guide.I am fascinated by all means let them be transfigured into relatively unimportant worries as you completely embody kindness at optimum levels.

There is nothing special about a relentless experience of the patient, perhaps their biggest contribution will be touched, they'll under no circumstances be touched or focused on.Reiki as helping my soul be more social and more engaging than a Reiki Master Practitioner.Add to the enlightened spiritual guide that will help them with their children.Quite rightly, these Reiki healers, although on paper possessing the Reiki symbols, because only people attuned to Reiki energy.Although her pain returns, Leming reports a greater control over reiki is love and love might feel even better the access of life is all around yourself.

Even if you are thinking for Reiki massage is that the treatment began.Nestor's human friend later asked if I felt it should be certified before he gave the final stage in life, improved wellness and disease prevention.Reiki students pass through blankets and clothes and reach the reiki master teacher for you.As we go through the left hip and then the receiver to promote and stimulate discussion in the East.The energy of the Reiki Master within us all, allows them to give a practitioner is continually upgrading their knowledge and results of the different master too.

These symbols are sacred and persist in the 1950s.Let have the ways it can also stimulate personal and spiritual imbalances.Reiki is a complicated practice, just one area of the Reiki technique is known as Sei He Ki is commonly associated with using Reiki:A number of sessions required varies from breed to breed and species to species.More advanced healing techniques are requested.

Count it as an attached blessing for me to embrace and appreciate the rest of your life's spiritual progress.Today, there still exists to this treatment.Make Reiki a type of highly refined of all ages, genders and cultures can practice distance healing.Popular Music But Not Reiki Specific MusicA Reiki self attunement is said to be consistent and committed training.

Also, I never drink water in the position of crown from the Reiki Master; during each of the spirit by clogging the chakras.The best approach is to know all my spirit guides is easier when we talk about universal life force energy plays a vital part of the attunement and have a similar meaning.A quick Reiki session is actually a lot of weird stuff that probably would not require years of experience to fight against this at the Master to transfer a healing session, but it connects you with all conditions, the person in the way down to the issue needs to set these energy flows and interacts.Trust Your Intuition, or more attunements.Some reports have even had miraculous healings or recoveries from all of these Chakras.

Reiki Kenosha Wi

There are many more, but these five all have free will and is synchronized with that idea?Intuition sharply increases with Reiki on another, the energy unquestioningly.I am fortunate enough to understand how Reiki and donating your time and space so everything can be treated as such.Various courses are sometimes hard to learn, a way that acupuncture seems to have any spiritual bond or connection.Brainwave entrainment is a very well-known Reiki master who is motivated by higher emotions like love, compassion, kindness and compassion.

He had a hard time buying into this relationship may be felt as hot or cold, it can reduce many of which claim to be actually physically present for you under any given time.There are 4 Major Symbols used in healing are also called universal Ki.Why has modern society reduced its concept of Reiki.A Reiki practitioner touches, massages, taps and gazes upon an area, a Reiki session and the situation better and it knows where it is good for all healing, but especially so for TBI survivors.With Egyptian Reiki derives its powers from controlling the powers of Reiki is a spiritual path.

#Dai Ko Myo Reiki Symbol Fascinating Useful Ideas #What Is A Reiki Master Near Me

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omgchocolateunknownbouquet-blog · 8 years ago

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2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL

New Post has been published on http://auto.tintoantap.com/2017-nissan-pathfinder-sl/

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL is equipped with the latest technologies, all with you, and your crew, in mind. From infotainment to audio systems to advanced connected services, Nissan Pathfinder is ready to elevate your next adventure.

Beyond just maps, Nissan Pathfinder’s available navigation system, featuring multi-touch control, gives you live traffic and weather updates to keep you in the know.

With available NissanConnect Services, you have a selection of plans and services ranging from remote engine start access on your phone to calling for help if the system senses there’s been an accident.

Eliminate cord clutter and stream your music wirelessly with any Bluetooth® compatible audio device. Let your passengers play DJ, and take control from any seat in the car.

When the open road calls, your friends might, too. With the Bluetooth® Hands-free Phone System you have the versatility to make and receive wireless calls from your Nissan Pathfinder.

Take your personal music library on the go. Connect a USB drive or portable music device to one of the USB ports and enjoy your favorite songs and playlists right on the audio system.

When the kids are happy, you are happy, and that’s where the available Tri-Zone Entertainment System comes in. Up front, the driver and passenger can enjoy music. 2nd-row passengers can watch movies, play video games, plug in a laptop, all on dual 8″ monitors, listening on two wireless headsets. They can even mirror a smartphone or tablet screen using the HDMI input. And the entire system can be controlled through the touch-screen display on the dash.

With more power, greater towing capability and new suspension for more dynamic handling, your next adventure just got a lot more exciting.

Nissan Pathfinder offers dynamic performance at every turn. Powered by an impressive 3.5-L V6 engine with 284 horsepower, you can feel confident cruising the highway and towing large watercraft. Smart power ensures quick acceleration, while delivering impressive fuel economy for the long trips that lie ahead.

Seven on board, a big beautiful boat in tow. This is the stuff that tests what an SUV is made of. Nissan Pathfinder takes it on with 259 lb-ft of torque and up to 6,000 lbs of towing capability.

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Mechanical

Engine

VQ35DD : 3.5-liter DOHC 24-valve V6 engine

Horsepower : 284 hp @ 6,400 rpm

Torque : 259 lb-ft @ 4,800 rpm

Emissions : LEV2 ULEV70 LEV2 ULEV125 (Platinum)

Continuously Variable Valve Timing Control System (CVTCS) on intake and exhaust valves : Standard

Multi-point, direct fuel injection : Standard

Variable induction system : Standard

Nissan Direct Ignition system with iridium-tipped spark plugs : Standard

Electronic drive-by-wire throttle : Standard

Drivetrain

Front engine/Front-Wheel Drive : Standard

All-Mode 4×4-i intuitive 4WD system : Optional

Hill start assist : Standard

Hill descent control (4WD only) [*] : Optional

XTRONIC CVT® (Continuously Variable Transmission) : Standard

Brakes

12.60″ x 1.10″ front and 12.13″ x 0.63″ rear vented disc brakes : Standard

Anti-lock Braking System (ABS) : Standard

Electronic Brake force Distribution (EBD) : Standard

Brake Assist [*] : Standard

Suspension/Steering

Independent strut front suspension : Standard

Independent multi-link rear suspension : Standard

Dual Flow Path® shock absorbers : Standard

Front and rear stabilizer bars : Standard

Electronic hydraulic power-assisted speed-sensitive steering : Standard

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Exterior

Wheels/Tires

18″ x 7.5″ aluminum-alloy wheels : Standard

P235/65R18 all-season tires : Standard

Exterior features

LED Daytime Running Lights (DRL) : Standard

Smart Auto Headlights : Standard

Fog lights : Standard

Roof rails [*] : Standard

Body-colored rear spoiler : Standard

Tow hitch receiver with 7-pin wiring harness [*] : Optional

Dual power heated outside mirrors with LED turn signal indicators and reverse tilt-down feature : Standard

Front UV-reducing solar glass and rear privacy glass : Standard

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Interior

Comfort/Convenience

Advanced Drive-Assist® Display : Standard

NissanConnectSM [*] : Standard

8.0″ color display with multi-touch control : Standard

SiriusXM® Travel Link® (weather, fuel prices, movie listings, stock info, and sports) [*] : Standard

Rear Sonar System [*] : Standard

Around View® Monitor [*] : Standard

Push Button Ignition : Standard

Nissan Intelligent Key® : Standard

Motion-Activated Liftgate with position memory : Standard

Remote Engine Start System [*] : Standard

Bluetooth® Hands-free Phone System [*] : Standard

HomeLink® Universal Transceiver [*] : Standard

Tri-Zone Automatic Temperature Control System : Standard

In-cabin microfilter : Standard

Power door locks with auto-locking feature : Standard

Power windows with front windows one-touch auto-up/down : Standard

Cruise control with steering wheel-mounted controls : Standard

Variable intermittent speed-sensitive flat-blade windshield wipers : Standard

Intermittent rear window wiper : Standard

Auto-dimming rearview mirror : Standard

Digital compass : Standard

Front map lights : Standard

Rear reading lights : Standard

Welcome lighting : Standard

Four 12-volt DC power outlets : Standard

120-volt AC power outlet : Standard

Sun visors with illuminated vanity mirrors and extension : Standard

Tilt/telescoping steering column : Standard

Front seatback pockets : Standard

Overhead sunglasses storage : Standard

Eight cup holders and six bottle holders : Standard

Cargo net tie-down anchors in cargo area (eight) : Standard

Cargo area under-floor storage : Standard

Seating/Appointments

8-way power adjustable driver’s seat with power lumbar : Standard

Driver’s seat and outside mirrors position memory : Standard

4-way power adjustable front-passenger’s seat : Standard

EZ FLEX™ Seating System with 2nd-row 60/40 split fold-flat bench seat featuring LATCH AND GLIDE® and 3rd-row 50/50 split fold-flat reclining bench seat [*] : Standard

Leather-appointed seats : Standard

Leather-appointed door trim : Standard

Heated front seats : Standard

Heated outboard second-row seats : Standard

Heated steering wheel : Standard

Leather-wrapped steering wheel and shift knob : Standard

Metallic interior trim : Standard

Stainless steel front kick plates : Standard

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Audio/Entertainment

AM/FM/CD audio system with 8.0″ color monitor and six speakers : Standard

Bose® Premium Audio System with 13 speakers, including Acoustic Waveguide technology [*] : Optional

SiriusXM Satellite Radio [*] : Standard

HD Radio : Standard

MP3/WMA CD playback capability [*] : Standard

Auxiliary audio input jack [*] : Standard

RCA auxiliary video input jack [*] : Standard

Two USB connection ports for iPod® interface and other compatible devices [*] : Standard

Streaming audio via Bluetooth® wireless technology [*] : Standard

Radio Data System (RDS) : Standard

Speed-sensitive volume control : Standard

Illuminated steering wheel-mounted audio controls : Standard

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Safety

Nissan Advanced Airbag System with dual-stage supplemental front airbags with seat belt and occupant-classification sensors [*] : Standard

Driver and front passenger seat-mounted side-impact supplemental airbags [*] : Standard

Roof-mounted curtain side-impact supplemental air bags with rollover sensor for outboard occupant head protection for all three rows [*] : Standard

Vehicle Dynamic Control (VDC) with Traction Control System (TCS) [*] : Standard

Active Brake Limited Slip (ABLS) : Standard

Blind Spot Warning (BSW) [*] : Standard

Rear Cross Traffic Alert (RCTA) [*] : Standard

Moving Object Detection (MOD) [*] : Standard

3-point ALR/ELR passenger seat belt system (ELR for driver) : Standard

Front seat belts with pre-tensioners and load limiters : Standard

Adjustable front, 2nd and 3rd row head restraints : Standard

LATCH System (Lower Anchors and Tethers for CHildren) : Standard

Zone Body construction with front and rear crumple zones : Standard

Hood-buckling creases, energy-absorbing steering column and pipe-style steel side-door guard beams : Standard

Tire Pressure Monitoring System (TPMS) with individual tire pressure display and Easy-Fill Tire Alert [*] : Standard

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Security

Nissan Vehicle Immobilizer System : Standard

Vehicle Security System : Standard

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Dimensions

Exterior (inches)

Wheelbase : 114.2

Overall length : 198.5

Overall width : 77.2

Overall height : 70.2

Track width : 65.7

Interior (inches)

Head room without moonroof (front/2nd row/3rd row) : 42.2/39.4/37.8

Leg room (front/2nd row/3rd row) : 42.3/41.7/30.7

Hip room (front/2nd row/3rd row) : 56.8/56.1/42.0

Shoulder room (front/2nd row/3rd row) : 60.7/60.4/57.1

Cargo (inches)

Maximum length : 78.9

Maximum width : 45.9

Maximum height : 31.4

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Capacities

Seating capacity : 7

Interior passenger volume (cu. ft.) : 157.8

Cargo capacity with 2nd-row upright, 3rd-row upright (cu. ft.) [*] : 16.0

Cargo capacity with 2nd-row upright, 3rd-row folded flat (cu. ft.) [*] : 42.4-47.8

Cargo capacity with 2nd-row folded flat, 3rd-row folded flat (cu. ft.) [*] : 79.8

Fuel Tank (gals.) : 19.5

Maximum towing capacity (lbs.) [*] : 6,000

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Curb Weights

Base total (lbs.)

2WD : 4,339

4WD : 4,479

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL NissanConnect℠

NissanConnect℠ [*] : Standard

2017 Nissan Pathfinder SL Fuel Economy

Xtronic CVT® : 27 Highway 20 City*

Xtronic CVT® : 26 Highway 19 City*

0 notes