#$!%? ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀/ spanish couple 、

[checkeredflagggs]

Love Me Tender

pairing: carlos sainz x longtime girlfriend!reader

summary: carlos loves his girlfriend so much — even more when she (a lifelong tifosi) sheds the iconic red for williams blue

a/n: ok but this picture of Carlos 😭😭😭

a/n2: I messed a little with the timeline of Lewis in 2024 I think

a/n3: all quotes are by Enzo Ferrari

Masterlist | Taglist

tifosi_girl

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 2,173,183 others

tagged: carlossainz55

tifosi_girl: do you know many Ferraris? Luigi follows only the Ferraris

view all comments

user1: girl you know all the Ferraris!

↳tifosi_girl: I know ☺️☺️

↳user1: do you know how jealous I am?? liked by tifosi_girl, carlossainz55

carlossainz55: Vida mía… my life…

↳tifosi_girl: Guapo… handsome…

↳carlossainz55: Oh, sabes lo que me hace cuando hablas español...Oh, you know what it does to me when you speak spanish...

↳tifosi_girl: Por supuesto que sí. Of course I do.

↳carlossainz55: Vida mía, Mi alma My life, My soul

↳user2: uhhhh you guys know we’re still here right???

↳user3: yeah I think they forgot…

user4: I have a bold take to say

↳user5: do it. Speak your truth

↳user4: those 2 are the Ferrari Morticia and Gomez

↳user5: oh my god yes…

↳user6: that’s the truest thing I’ve heard today

landonorris: No, no, no, no, no. They race on the European circuit. I'm in the Piston Cup!

↳tifosi_girl: sorry I only follow the Ferraris

↳landonorris: yeah we know liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc

user7: Siri how do I get that jacket?

↳tifosi_girl: baggsie a Ferrari man who lets you steal from his closet!

↳user7: know any that are looking?

↳carlossainz55: no.

↳charles_leclerc: non

↳user7: damn

tifosi_girl (2022)

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 863,146 others

tagged: carlossainz55

yourusername: “I don’t sell cars; I sell dreams.” Baby you are my dream and to see you on that top step was memorizing. To celebrate — today’s treat was a red velvet lava cake with a cherry sauce!

view all comments

user8: that looks so delicious oh my gosh

user9: thank you queen for the recipe

carlossainz55: Vida mia, gracias por venir conmigo hoy. Esta victoria fue gracias a ti. My life, thank you for coming with me today. This victory was because of you.

↳tifosi_girl: Oh, mi guapo hombre — esta victoria fue toda gracias a ti y a tu arduo trabajo y talento. Yo no tuve nada que ver con eso. Oh my handsome man — this win was all because of you and your hardworking and talent. I had nothing to do with it.

↳carlossainz55: ¡No, no, no, eres obviamente mi amuleto de la suerte! No, no, no you are very obviously my lucky charm!

↳charles_leclerc: Peu importe ce que vous êtes. Ce qui compte, c'est de savoir si je peux avoir un de ces gâteaux, s'il vous plaît? Whatever you are doesn’t matter. What matters is if I can have one of those cakes please?

↳tifosi_girl: I don’t think they’re part of your diet?

↳charles_leclerc: S'il vous plaît? 🥺🥺

↳tifosi_girl: 🙄🙄 sure

landonorris: sooooo….are those cakes up for grabs or??

↳tifosi_girl: only for those that drive red cars?

↳landonorris: really???

↳tifosi_girl: yes

↳maxverstappen1: hey

↳tifosi_girl: sure max — I���ll swing by and drop a couple off for you and checo

↳landonorris: SERIOUSLY???

tifosi_girl (2023)

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 1,283,923 others

tagged: carlossainz55

tifosi_girl: “What’s behind you doesn’t matter.” Baby you had the entire grid behind you tonight and it was something out of this world to watch. Gutted to not be able to be there but Beary and I made do with strawberry waffles

view all comments

user10: Beary?? That’s so cute

user11: love how she uses Ferrari quotes in all her posts

↳user12: gotta love a loyal girl liked by carlossainz55, tifosi_girl

carlossainz55: Vida mia, al otro lado del mundo y tú sigues siendo mi amuleto de la suerte. My life, across the world and still my lucky charm.

↳tifosi_girl: Mi guapo hombre, sabes que esta victoria fue todo tuyo. Yo tuve poco que ver con eso. My handsome man, you know this win was all you. I had little to do with it.

↳carlossainz55: Mi vida. Mi amor. Mi alma. Esto fue todo para ti. My life. My love. My soul. This was all for you. liked by tifosi_girl

↳user13: wow. you managed to call us single in more than 2 languages…

user14: heading to the highway tonight…

↳user15: sleepover?

↳user16: sleepover! I’ll make her waffles because they look fantastic

landonorris: ok but can I get some of these?

↳tifosi_girl: Guidi un'auto rossa? Do you drive a red car?

↳landonorris: what???

↳tifosi_girl: 🙄🙄🙄

f1gossip

Be the first to like

f1gossip: in a stunning shock to the entire f1 world — 7 time World Champion Lewis Hamilton is to exit Mercedes at the end of the year and to drive for Ferrari!

What are your thoughts?

Be the first to comment

Private Messages, Carlos and y/n

tifosi_girl

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and 1,627,283 others

tagged: carlossainz55

tifosi_girl: “I have no idols. I admire work, dedication, and competence.” Baby, no one can say you don’t give it your all (including your appendix!). Dinner tonight includes these delicious toasted tomatoes and peppers.

view all comments

user17: oh is that shade I see being thrown?

↳user18: I do believe it is

↳user20: I don’t exactly blame her

user21: ugh don’t remind me Carlos won’t be in red next year…

↳user22: the question is will she?

↳user23: that is the question isn’t it? Life-long tifosi vs the apparent love of her life…

oscarpiastri: do you share?

↳tifosi_girl: sure. Drop by our hotel and I’ll give you a plate

↳oscarpiastri: thanks!

↳carlossainz55: really vida mia? Him??

↳landonorris: WHAT?? You said only Ferrari drivers could get some!

↳tifosi_girl: landonorris I actually said people who drive red cars. That’s not you

↳landonorris: HE DRIVES AN ORANGE CAR TOO

↳tifosi_girl: congratulations on learning your colors Lando!

↳tifosi_girl: and carlossainz55 he’s a polite young man. Of course I’m going to give him some

user24: thank you queen 🙏 your recipes have saved me many a time

↳tifosi_girl: no problem! I’m glad they’re working out for you!

Private Messages, Carlos and y/n

f1gossip

liked by tifosi_girl, carlossainz55, landonorris, and 2,193,193 others

tagged: carlossainz55

f1gossip: to complete the thrilling saga of Carlos Sainz, it was just announced by Williams that he would be joining their team in a multi-year contract starting with the 2025 season, replacing Logan Sargeant.

What are your thoughts?

view all comments

user25: oh he’s gonna look good in blue!

↳user26: he looked better in red ngl

user27: not where I expected him to end up…

↳user28: well where else was he supposed to go??

↳user27: I don’t know but I didn’t expect Williams!

user29: what a extreme Silly Season this year

↳user30: and it’s not even over yet…

↳user31: don’t remind me — we still have like 6 open seats still…

user32: again I wonder what y/n is thinking… the iconic red to Williams blue??

↳tifosi_girl: the number 55 all the way!

↳user33: but red or blue?

↳tifosi_girl: 55!

tifosi_girl

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, landonorris, and 2,728,172 others

tagged: carlossainz55

tifosi_girl: Mi hombre guapo... Qué viaje tan salvaje ha sido estos últimos años; Victorias y derrotas, podios y abandonos. A pesar de todo, has sido el mejor socio que cualquiera podría haber pedido. Ahora que esta temporada ha terminado, ¡vamos a la próxima gran cosa! My handsome man…what a wild ride it’s been these past few years; wins and losses, podiums and dnfs. Through it all, you’ve been the best partner anyone could have asked for. Now that this season is over it’s on to the next big thing!

view all comments

user34: I’m so sad right now

↳user35: oh I know…I can’t believe this is over

carlossainz55: Mi amor, mi vida, tenerte a mi lado en este viaje ha sido una de las mejores cosas que me han pasado. Gracias por todo el apoyo que me han dado; No puedo esperar a lo que viene después. My love, my life, having you next to me through this journey has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. Thank you for all the support you’ve given me; I can’t wait for what comes next.

↳tifosi_girl: you’re gonna make me cry my love

↳user36: I don’t want love if it’s not like you guys liked by tifosi_girl, carlossainz55

charles_leclerc: it’s been a pleasure Carlos

↳carlossainz55: it really has but I will be a few doors away

↳charles_leclerc: indeed you will!

↳tifosi_girl: (and yes that does include my food) liked by charles_leclerc

landonorris: so since Carlos doesn’t drive a red car anymore…does that mean your restriction has been lifted??

↳tifosi_girl: much too soon

↳tifosi_girl: so….that's a big fat no

↳landonorris: oh COME ON

oscarpiastri: do you take requests?

↳tifosi_girl: potentially?

↳oscarpiastri: blueberry cheesecake?

↳tifosi_girl: sure

↳landonorris: SERIOUSLY???

tifosi_girl

liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon, and 2,812,239 others

tagged: carlossainz55

tifosi_girl: well blue might not be my color but you are my man so needs must I guess…(also these blueberry cupcakes are bangers). Here’s to an amazing season mi hombre guapo

comments have been restricted on this post

carlossainz55: vida mia…

↳carlossainz55: thank you so much for everything

↳carlossainz55: (especially adopting the blue)

↳tifosi_girl: only for you, my love

alex_albon: sooooo…

↳landonorris: if he gets something baked before i do, im gonna be sooooo mad

↳tifosi_girl: lol liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon

↳landonorris: 😠😠😠

Taglist

@anamiad00msday @suns3treading @daniskywalkersolo @awritingtree @justheretoreadthxxs @coral7161 @lost4lyrics @mastermindbaby @freyathehuntress @angelluv16 @nichmeddar @mxm47max @justaf1girl @a-beaverhausen @tallrock35 @elizamoe133 @imlonelydontsendhelp @jessica3478 @il0vereadingstuff @msimpala-67

[studyinglogic]

[Continued from above]

Mistake 1: Asymmetrical Studying

Assuming you don't just want to do a single activity in a language, or are learning a language like ASL, a language requires 4 parts to be studied: Speaking, Listening, Writing, Reading. While these have overlap, you can't learn speaking from reading, or even learn speaking from just listening. One of my first Chinese teachers told me how he would listen to the textbook dialogues while he was biking to classes and it helped him. I took this information, thought "Yeah that's an idea, but sounds boring" and now regret not taking his advice nearly every day.

I think a lot of us find methods we enjoy to study (mine was reading) and assume that if we just do that method more ™ it will eventually help us in other areas (sometimes it does, but that's only sometimes). Find a method that works for you for each area of study, even better find more than one method since we use these skills in a variety of manners! I can understand a TV program pretty well since I have a lot of context clues and body language to fill in any gaps of understanding, but taking a phone call is much harder—the audio is rougher, there's no body language to read, and since most Chinese programs have hard coded subtitles, no subtitles to fall back on either. If I were to compare the number of hours I spent reading in Chinese to (actively) training my listening? Probably a ratio of 100 to 1. When I started to learn Korean, the first thing I did was find a variety of listening resources for my level.

Fix: Find a variety of study methods that challenge all aspects of the language in different ways.

A variety of methods will help you develop a more well-rounded level of mastery, and probably help you keep from getting bored. Which is important because...

Mistake 2: Inconsistent Studying

If there is one positive to a language app, it is the pressure it puts on keeping a streak. Making studying a part of your everyday routine is the best thing you can do. I benefited a lot from taking a college language course since I had a dedicated time to study and practice Chinese 5 days out of the week (and homework usually filled the other two). Memorization is a huge part of language learning, and stopping and starting is terrible for memorization. When I was in elementary school, we had Spanish maybe a couple times a month. Looking back, it seems like it was the first class to be cut if we needed to catch up on a more important course. Needless to say, I can't even speak Spanish at an elementary level.

However, I'm sure many people reading this don't have the time to do ultra-immersion 4-hour study sessions every day either. Find what days during the week you have time to focus on learning new vocab and grammar, and use the rest of the week to review. This can be done on your commute to school/work, while you do the dishes, or as a part of your morning/evening routine. Making this as realistic as possible will help you actually succeed in making this a habit. (Check this out for how to set realistic study goals)

Fix: Study regularly (ideally daily) by setting realistic goals. Avoid "binge" studying since remembering requires consistent repetition to be most effective.

Mistake 3: Resource Choice

This is really composed of two mistakes, but I have a good example that will cover them both.

First, finding resources that are at or slightly above your level is the most important thing. Easy resources will not challenge you enough and difficult resources will overwhelm you. The ideal is n+1, with n as what you know plus 1 new thing.

Second, getting distracted by fancy, new technology. Newer isn't always better, and there are often advantages that are lost when we've made technological developments. I often found myself wanting to try out new browser extensions or organizational methods and honestly I would've benefitted from just using that time to study. (Also, you're probably reading this because of my DL post so I don't think it has to be said that AI resources suck.)

A good example of this was my time using Clozemaster. I had actually recommended it when I first started using it since I thought the foundation was really solid. However, after long term use, I found that it just wasn't a good fit. The sentences were often too simple or too long and strange for memorization at higher levels or were too difficult at lower levels. I think that taking my textbook's example sentences from dialogues into something like Anki would've been a far better use of my time (and money) as they were already designed to be at that n+1 level.

Fix: "Vet" your resources—make sure they will actually help you. If something is working for you, then keep using it! You don't always have to upgrade to the newest tool/method.

Mistake 3.5: Classrooms and Textbooks

A .5 since it's not my mistake, but an addendum of caution. I think there is a significant part of the language learning community that views textbooks and classroom learning as the worst possible resource. They are "boring", "outdated", and "ineffective" (ironically one of the most interesting modern language learning methods, ALG, is only done in a classroom setting). Classrooms and textbooks bring back memories of being surrounded by mostly uninterested classmates, minimal priority, and a focus on grades rather than personal achievement (imagine the difference between a class of middle schoolers who were forced to choose a foreign language vs. adult learners who self-selected!) People have used these exact methods, or even "cruder" methods, to successfully learn a language. It all comes down to what works best for you. I specifically recommend textbooks for learning grammar and the plentiful number of dialogues and written passages that can function great as graded readers and listening resources. (Also the distinction made between "a youtube lesson on a grammatical principle" which is totally cool, and "a passage in a grammar textbook" is more one of tone and audio/written than efficacy).

Classrooms can be really great for speaking practice since they can be a lot less intimidating speaking to someone who is also learning while receiving corrections. Speech can be awkward to train on your own (not impossible if you're good at just talking aloud to yourself!), and classrooms can work nicely for this. Homework and class schedules also have built in accountability!

Fix: Explore resources available to you and try to think holistically about your approach. CI+Traditional Methods is my go to "Learning Cocktail"

Mistake 4: Yes, Immersion, But...

I realized this relatively quickly while learning Chinese, but immersion at a level much higher than your current level will do very little for you. What is sometimes left out of those "Just watch anime to learn Japanese" discussions is that you first need to have a chance at understanding what is being said. Choosing materials that are much higher than your level will not teach you the language. It doesn't matter how many times someone at HSK 1 hears “他是甘露之惠，我并无此水可还”, they will not get very far. Actual deduction and learning comes from having enough familiar components to be able to make deductions—something different than guessing. An HSK 1 learner, never having heard the word 老虎 will be able to understand "tiger" if someone says “这是我的老虎” while standing next to a tiger. This is not to say you can never try something more difficult—things should be challenging—but if you can't make heads or tails of what's being said, then it's time to find something a bit easier. If mistake 2 is about the type of method, this is about the level. If you wouldn't give a kindergartener The Great Gatsby to learn how to read, why would you watch Full Metal Alchemist to start learning a language?

Side note: Interesting video here on the Comprehensible Input hypothesis and how it relates to neurodivergence.

Fix: Immerse yourself in appropriate content for your level. It's called comprehensible input for a reason.

Mistake 5: On Translation

I work as a translator, so do you really think I'm going to say translation is all bad? Of course not. It's a separate skill that can be added on to the basic skills, but is really only required if you are A. someone who is an intermediary between two languages (say you have to translate for a spouse or family member) or B. It is your job/hobby. In the context of sitting down and learning, it can be harmful. I think my brain often goes to translation too often because that's how I used to learn. Trying to unlearn that is difficult because, well, what do people even mean when they say "don't translate"? They mean when someone says "thank you", you should not go to your primary language and translate "you're welcome" from that. You should train yourself to go to your target language first when you hear the word for "thank you". A very literally translated "thank you" in Chinese "谢谢你" can come off as cold and sarcastic. I don't tell my friends that, I say "谢啦～". Direct translation can take away the difference in culture, grammar, and politeness in a language. If there is a reason you sound awkward while writing and speaking, it's probably because you're imposing your primary language on your target language.

Fix: Try as hard as you can to not work from your primary language into the target language, but to work from the structures, set phrases, and grammar within the target language that you know first.

Mistake 6: The Secret Language Learners Don't Want You To Know...

...is that there is no one easy method. You are not going to learn French while you sleep, or master Korean by doing this one easy trick. Learning a language requires work and dedication, the people that succeed are those that push through the boredom of repetition and failure. The "I learned X in 1 year/month/week/day!" crowd is hiding large asterisks, be it their actual level, the assistance and free time available to them, "well actually I had already studied this for 4 years", or just straight-up lying. Our own journeys in our native tongue were not easy, they required years and years of constant immersion and instruction. While we are now older and wiser people that can make quick connections, we are also burdened with things like "jobs", "house work", "school work", and the digital black hole that is "social media" that take up our time and energy. Everything above is to help make this journey a little bit easier, quicker, and painless, but it will never be magic.

I find that language learning has a lot in common with the fitness community. People will talk about the workout that changed their life and how no other one will do the same—and it really can be the truth that it changed their life and that they feel it is the ultimate way. The real workout that will change your life is the one you're most consistent with, that you enjoy the most. Language learning is just trying to find the brain exercise that you can be the most consistent with.

Fix: Save your energy looking for shortcuts, and do the work, fail, and come back for more. If someone tells you that you can become fluent in a ridiculously short amount of time, they are selling you a fantasy (and likely a product). You get out what you put in.

For those that made it to the end, here are some of my "universal resources":

Refold Method: I don't agree with their actual method 100%, but they've collected a lot of great resources for learning languages. I've found their Chinese and Korean discords to also be really helpful and provided even more resources than what's given in their starter guides.

Language Reactor: Very useful, and have recently added podcasts as a material! The free version is honestly all you need.

Anki: If I do not mention it, the people with 4+ year streaks with a 5K word deck will not let me forget it. It can be used on desktop or on your phone as an app. If you need a replacement for a language learning app, this is one of them. Justin Sung has a lot of great info on how to best utilize Anki (as does Refold). It's not my favorite, but it could be yours!

LingQ: "But I thought you said language apps are bad!" In isolation, yes. Sorry for the clickbait. This one is pretty good, and more interested in immersing you in the language than selling a subscription to allow you to freeze your streak so the number goes up.

Grammar Textbooks: For self-taught learning, these are going to be the best resource since it's focused on the hardest part of the language, and only that. If you're tired of seeing group work activities, look for a textbook that is just on grammar (Modern Mandarin Chinese Grammar is my rec for Chinese, and A Guide to Japanese Grammar by Tae Kim is the most common/enthusiastic rec I've heard for Japanese).

Shadowing: Simply repeat what you hear. Matt vs Japan talks about his setup here for optimized shadowing (which you can probably build for a lot cheaper now), but it can also just be you watching a video and pausing to repeat after each sentence or near simultaneously if you're able.

Youtube: Be it "Short Story for Beginners", "How to use X", "250 Essential Phrases", or a GRWM in your target language, Youtube is the best. Sometimes you have to dig to find what works for you, but I imagine there is something for everyone at every level. (Pro tip: People upload textbook audio dialogues often, you don't even have to buy the textbook to be able to learn from it!)

A Friend: Be it a fellow learner, or someone who has already mastered the language, it is easier when you have someone, not only to speak to, but to remind you why you're doing this. I write far more in Chinese because I have friends I can text in Chinese.

Pen and Paper: Study after study, writing on paper continues to be the best method for memorization. Typing or using a pen and tablet still can't compare to traditional methods.

The Replies (Probably): Lots of people were happy to give alternatives for specific languages in the replies of my DL post. The community here is pretty active, so if this post blows up at least 20% of what the last one did, you might be able to find some great stuff in the replies and reblogs.

I wish you all the best~

Language Apps Suck, Now What?: A Guide to Actually Becoming "Fluent"

The much requested sequel to my DL post that was promised almost a year ago.

I'm going to address all of the techniques that have helped me in my language learning journeys. Since 95% of these came from the fact that in a past language learning mistake, they are titled as my mistakes (and how I would/did things differently going forward). For those that read to the bottom there is a "best universal resources" list.

Disclaimers:

"Fluency" is hard to define and everyone has their own goals. So for the purpose of this post, "fluency" will be defined as "your personal mastery target of the language".

If you just want to pick up a bit of a language to not sound like a total foreigner on vacation or just exchange a few words in a friend's native language, feel free to ignore what doesn't apply, but maybe something here could help make it a little easier.

This is based on my own personal experience and (some) research.

Mistake 1: Asymmetrical Studying

Assuming you don't just want to do a single activity in a language, or are learning a language like ASL, a language requires 4 parts to be studied: Speaking, Listening, Writing, Reading. While these have overlap, you can't learn speaking from reading, or even learn speaking from just listening. One of my first Chinese teachers told me how he would listen to the textbook dialogues while he was biking to classes and it helped him. I took this information, thought "Yeah that's an idea, but sounds boring" and now regret not taking his advice nearly every day.

I think a lot of us find methods we enjoy to study (mine was reading) and assume that if we just do that method more ™ it will eventually help us in other areas (sometimes it does, but that's only sometimes). Find a method that works for you for each area of study, even better find more than one method since we use these skills in a variety of manners! I can understand a TV program pretty well since I have a lot of context clues and body language to fill in any gaps of understanding, but taking a phone call is much harder—the audio is rougher, there's no body language to read, and since most Chinese programs have hard coded subtitles, no subtitles to fall back on either. If I were to compare the number of hours I spent reading in Chinese to (actively) training my listening? Probably a ratio of 100 to 1. When I started to learn Korean, the first thing I did was find a variety of listening resources for my level.

Fix: Find a variety of study methods that challenge all aspects of the language in different ways.

A variety of methods will help you develop a more well-rounded level of mastery, and probably help you keep from getting bored. Which is important because...

Mistake 2: Inconsistent Studying

If there is one positive to a language app, it is the pressure it puts on keeping a streak. Making studying a part of your everyday routine is the best thing you can do. I benefited a lot from taking a college language course since I had a dedicated time to study and practice Chinese 5 days out of the week (and homework usually filled the other two). Memorization is a huge part of language learning, and stopping and starting is terrible for memorization. When I was in elementary school, we had Spanish maybe a couple times a month. Looking back, it seems like it was the first class to be cut if we needed to catch up on a more important course. Needless to say, I can't even speak Spanish at an elementary level.

However, I'm sure many people reading this don't have the time to do ultra-immersion 4-hour study sessions every day either. Find what days during the week you have time to focus on learning new vocab and grammar, and use the rest of the week to review. This can be done on your commute to school/work, while you do the dishes, or as a part of your morning/evening routine. Making this as realistic as possible will help you actually succeed in making this a habit. (Check this out for how to set realistic study goals)

Fix: Study regularly (ideally daily) by setting realistic goals. Avoid "binge" studying since remembering requires consistent repetition to be most effective.

Mistake 3: Resource Choice

This is really composed of two mistakes, but I have a good example that will cover them both.

First, finding resources that are at or slightly above your level is the most important thing. Easy resources will not challenge you enough and difficult resources will overwhelm you. The ideal is n+1, with n as what you know plus 1 new thing.

Second, getting distracted by fancy, new technology. Newer isn't always better, and there are often advantages that are lost when we've made technological developments. I often found myself wanting to try out new browser extensions or organizational methods and honestly I would've benefitted from just using that time to study. (Also, you're probably reading this because of my DL post so I don't think it has to be said that AI resources suck.)

A good example of this was my time using Clozemaster. I had actually recommended it when I first started using it since I thought the foundation was really solid. However, after long term use, I found that it just wasn't a good fit. The sentences were often too simple or too long and strange for memorization at higher levels or were too difficult at lower levels. I think that taking my textbook's example sentences from dialogues into something like Anki would've been a far better use of my time (and money) as they were already designed to be at that n+1 level.

Fix: "Vet" your resources—make sure they will actually help you. If something is working for you, then keep using it! You don't always have to upgrade to the newest tool/method.

Mistake 3.5: Classrooms and Textbooks

A .5 since it's not my mistake, but an addendum of caution. I think there is a significant part of the language learning community that views textbooks and classroom learning as the worst possible resource. They are "boring", "outdated", and "ineffective" (ironically one of the most interesting modern language learning methods, ALG, is only done in a classroom setting). Classrooms and textbooks bring back memories of being surrounded by mostly uninterested classmates, minimal priority, and a focus on grades rather than personal achievement (imagine the difference between a class of middle schoolers who were forced to choose a foreign language vs. adult learners who self-selected!) People have used these exact methods, or even "cruder" methods, to successfully learn a language. It all comes down to what works best for you. I specifically recommend textbooks for learning grammar and the plentiful number of dialogues and written passages that can function great as graded readers and listening resources. (Also the distinction made between "a youtube lesson on a grammatical principle" which is totally cool, and "a passage in a grammar textbook" is more one of tone and audio/written than efficacy).

Classrooms can be really great for speaking practice since they can be a lot less intimidating speaking to someone who is also learning while receiving corrections. Speech can be awkward to train on your own (not impossible if you're good at just talking aloud to yourself!), and classrooms can work nicely for this. Homework and class schedules also have built in accountability!

Fix: Explore resources available to you and try to think holistically about your approach. CI+Traditional Methods is my go to "Learning Cocktail"

Mistake 4: Yes, Immersion, But...

I realized this relatively quickly while learning Chinese, but immersion at a level much higher than your current level will do very little for you. What is sometimes left out of those "Just watch anime to learn Japanese" discussions is that you first need to have a chance at understanding what is being said. Choosing materials that are much higher than your level will not teach you the language. It doesn't matter how many times someone at HSK 1 hears “他是甘露之惠，我并无此水可还”, they will not get very far. Actual deduction and learning comes from having enough familiar components to be able to make deductions—something different than guessing. An HSK 1 learner, never having heard the word 老虎 will be able to understand "tiger" if someone says “这是我的老虎” while standing next to a tiger. This is not to say you can never try something more difficult—things should be challenging—but if you can't make heads or tails of what's being said, then it's time to find something a bit easier. If mistake 2 is about the type of method, this is about the level. If you wouldn't give a kindergartener The Great Gatsby to learn how to read, why would you watch Full Metal Alchemist to start learning a language?

Side note: Interesting video here on the Comprehensible Input hypothesis and how it relates to neurodivergence.

Fix: Immerse yourself in appropriate content for your level. It's called comprehensible input for a reason.

Mistake 5: On Translation

I work as a translator, so do you really think I'm going to say translation is all bad? Of course not. It's a separate skill that can be added on to the basic skills, but is really only required if you are A. someone who is an intermediary between two languages (say you have to translate for a spouse or family member) or B. It is your job/hobby. In the context of sitting down and learning, it can be harmful. I think my brain often goes to translation too often because that's how I used to learn. Trying to unlearn that is difficult because, well, what do people even mean when they say "don't translate"? They mean when someone says "thank you", you should not go to your primary language and translate "you're welcome" from that. You should train yourself to go to your target language first when you hear the word for "thank you". A very literally translated "thank you" in Chinese "谢谢你" can come off as cold and sarcastic. I don't tell my friends that, I say "谢啦～". Direct translation can take away the difference in culture, grammar, and politeness in a language. If there is a reason you sound awkward while writing and speaking, it's probably because you're imposing your primary language on your target language.

Fix: Try as hard as you can to not work from your primary language into the target language, but to work from the structures, set phrases, and grammar within the target language that you know first.

Mistake 6: The Secret Language Learners Don't Want You To Know...

...is that there is no one easy method. You are not going to learn French while you sleep, or master Korean by doing this one easy trick. Learning a language requires work and dedication, the people that succeed are those that push through the boredom of repetition and failure. The "I learned X in 1 year/month/week/day!" crowd is hiding large asterisks, be it their actual level, the assistance and free time available to them, "well actually I had already studied this for 4 years", or just straight-up lying. Our own journeys in our native tongue were not easy, they required years and years of constant immersion and instruction. While we are now older and wiser people that can make quick connections, we are also burdened with things like "jobs", "house work", "school work", and the digital black hole that is "social media" that take up our time and energy. Everything above is to help make this journey a little bit easier, quicker, and painless, but it will never be magic.

I find that language learning has a lot in common with the fitness community. People will talk about the workout that changed their life and how no other one will do the same—and it really can be the truth that it changed their life and that they feel it is the ultimate way. The real workout that will change your life is the one you're most consistent with, that you enjoy the most. Language learning is just trying to find the brain exercise that you can be the most consistent with.

Fix: Save your energy looking for shortcuts, and do the work, fail, and come back for more. If someone tells you that you can become fluent in a ridiculously short amount of time, they are selling you a fantasy (and likely a product). You get out what you put in.

For those that made it to the end, here are some of my "universal resources":

Refold Method: I don't agree with their actual method 100%, but they've collected a lot of great resources for learning languages. I've found their Chinese and Korean discords to also be really helpful and provided even more resources than what's given in their starter guides.

Language Reactor: Very useful, and have recently added podcasts as a material! The free version is honestly all you need.

Anki: If I do not mention it, the people with 4+ year streaks with a 5K word deck will not let me forget it. It can be used on desktop or on your phone as an app. If you need a replacement for a language learning app, this is one of them. Justin Sung has a lot of great info on how to best utilize Anki (as does Refold). It's not my favorite, but it could be yours!

LingQ: "But I thought you said language apps are bad!" In isolation, yes. Sorry for the clickbait. This one is pretty good, and more interested in immersing you in the language than selling a subscription to allow you to freeze your streak so the number goes up.

Grammar Textbooks: For self-taught learning, these are going to be the best resource since it's focused on the hardest part of the language, and only that. If you're tired of seeing group work activities, look for a textbook that is just on grammar (Modern Mandarin Chinese Grammar is my rec for Chinese, and A Guide to Japanese Grammar by Tae Kim is the most common/enthusiastic rec I've heard for Japanese).

Shadowing: Simply repeat what you hear. Matt vs Japan talks about his setup here for optimized shadowing (which you can probably build for a lot cheaper now), but it can also just be you watching a video and pausing to repeat after each sentence or near simultaneously if you're able.

Youtube: Be it "Short Story for Beginners", "How to use X", "250 Essential Phrases", or a GRWM in your target language, Youtube is the best. Sometimes you have to dig to find what works for you, but I imagine there is something for everyone at every level. (Pro tip: People upload textbook audio dialogues often, you don't even have to buy the textbook to be able to learn from it!)

A Friend: Be it a fellow learner, or someone who has already mastered the language, it is easier when you have someone, not only to speak to, but to remind you why you're doing this. I write far more in Chinese because I have friends I can text in Chinese.

Pen and Paper: Study after study, writing on paper continues to be the best method for memorization. Typing or using a pen and tablet still can't compare to traditional methods.

The Replies (Probably): Lots of people were happy to give alternatives for specific languages in the replies of my DL post. The community here is pretty active, so if this post blows up at least 20% of what the last one did, you might be able to find some great stuff in the replies and reblogs.

I wish you all the best~

[lonely-ey3s]

With All My Love : Chapter 13 | road trip - part one

Chapter 13 : Road Trip pt. 1

Pairings: joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak)

Word count: 11.5k

Chapter Summary: After your engagement party you struggle to understand how you feel. However, after meeting with your therapist a couple times, Joel thinks a road trip would do you all good.

Chapter warnings: Chapter warnings: SMUT (18+ MDNI), public-ish sex, unprotected piv, anxiety, flashbacks of traumatic memories, mentions of PTSD anxiety, mentions of thoughts of unaliving, FLUFF, joel being an absolute lover, soft!joel, possessive!joel use of Spanish but with translations, use of y/n, and therapy session.

a/n: requests are open! please send prompts or things you would like to see more of!

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics 

Main Masterlist

Joel woke up before you that next morning, finding you still wrapped in his arms, sleeping peacefully. Your facial features relaxed, a small smile etched into your lips, nothing harming you in your sweet dreams. 

He turned his head and looked at the time, seeing it was close to 10 am. 

He gently kissed your head and stroked your cheek which caused you to make a hum in your sleep and turn off of him, cuddling up to the pillow as you turned around, staying deep in sleep. 

He took that opportunity to get up and get some sweats and a t-shirt on before coming over and kissing your cheek, stroking your hair back, whispering, “I’m just going to make some calls downstairs… I’ll be back.” he kissed your cheek again as you sleepily nodded and smiled, “Ok cowboy…” you said heavy with sleep. 

He brushed your hair back and then grabbed his phone from the nightstand and headed down the stairs dialing Diane’s number, Sarah and Elena were already up and cooking breakfast. 

Within a few rings, Diane answered, “Diane speaking…” 

Joel cleared his throat, “Mornin’ Diane, it’s Joel Miller, how are you?” 

Diane smiled, “Joel, it’s so good to hear from you. I hear congratulations are in order!” 

Joel smiled softly and chuckled, “Yes, thank you. I uh… I was wondering if I could talk to you however about somethin’ else, do you have a few moments to talk?” 

Elena saw him coming down the stairs and went to greet him when she saw he was on the phone and looked at him, holding up the pan she was cooking with, nonverbally asking if he wanted any, he nodded and smiled, walking into the living room, sitting on the couch. 

“I uhm, I know Y/N doesn’t have another session with you for another week but I think she may need an emergency session, we had an incident last night that may have knocked her back a few steps.” Joel held the bridge of his nose between his fingers as he explained your mental state, still feeling frustrated by it. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. I appreciate you reaching out and would love to fit her for an emergency session today or tomorrow. What happened if you don’t mind me asking?” Diane asked softly. 

Joel sighed softly and thanked her before explaining the chain of events. He also explained more in-depth where you seemed to be mentally, how you were anxiously telling yourself you were too much for him and worried that mentality could make you depressed or even potentially suicidal if it continued without intervention. 

Diane agreed and said that was a concern of hers too after hearing how you were. She offered to see you sooner rather than later and said she had some time this evening to see you, said it would be best for him to come with, and depending on what you wanted, he could sit in the session or not, but she wanted him there in case anything happened with triggers. He agreed and said he would bring you to her office at 4 pm. 

Joel ended the call and sat on the couch for a moment, thinking what he needed to do from now until then, he looked at his phone and dialed Tommy’s number as he said he’d call him this morning. 

It rang a few times then Tommy picked up, “Hey, how’s she doing?” 

Joel cleared his throat, “Still in bed but she’s ok. I just got off the phone with Diane, she’s worried about some things she said when I got into bed last night and is getting her in for a session later today.” 

Tommy sighed softly, “What did she say? Is she going to be ok?” he worried he did something more than just trigger you. He knew the fragility of someone’s mental and emotional state once they got home and worried somehow he set something a lot bigger. 

“She was sayin’ things like how she was too much, how she’s a burden. She kept apologizin’ too… like somehow her reaction to the trauma she went through was her fault.” he said softly, feeling anxiety creep into his mind now, “What if I’m not enough Tommy? What if she needs more than what I can give her?” Joel said quietly, almost close to a whisper. 

“Joel, you’re kidding right? If you aren’t enough for her, then what does that make me for Maria? You are ten times the man I am… you move mountains for that girl, you’d rearrange the constellations and planets for her if it made her smile. You can’t seriously think you aren’t enough. You…” he sighed softly and chuckled, “Joel, she looks at you when you aren’t lookin’ like you molded the moon to hang for her in the night sky. She was lookin’ at you yesterday with every ounce of love that woman possesses in her heart… you’re it for her. Now you’ve got that ring on her finger, she’d go down to the courthouse in a matter of seconds if it meant becoming your wife. You never have to worry about bein’ enough.” he said bluntly.

Joel lightly chuckled and put his head in his hand, leaning on his knee, “I just always worry I’m not doin’ enough, you know?” 

Tommy tsked and chuckled, “I constantly feel the same way. We are though, we just need to start believin’ it.” 

Joel nodded and looked up at the wall in front of him, it had a photo of you, him, and Sarah hanging from one of her soccer games which made his heart warm and made him smile, “Anyway… I need to get back to things but I’ll keep you and Maria posted throughout the next couple of days. Maybe we can have you over for dinner or something, yeah?” 

Tommy smiled and nodded, “We’d like that.” 

Joel softly took in a breath and told his brother goodbye, sitting on the couch a moment longer before getting up and heading back upstairs with two plates of food that Elena had made for you two. 

Joel had woken you up and made sure you were fed but after you had eaten you went back to sleep after taking a shower, the events of the last few days and especially last night wearing down on you. 

Around 3 pm Joel softly woke you up and told you he got you an appointment with Diane to help with what happened last night but he needed you to wake up so you could get there on time. 

You slowly got up, getting dressed in some oversized jeans, in a vintage sports pullover of Joel’s, and doing your hair up in a messy bun. The goal was to be comfy and get through the rest of the day. 

To be completely honest you weren’t only sleeping because you were exhausted, you slept because it avoided the growing panic attack you felt growing inside your mind, feeling at any moment you were going to explode. 

Elena said she’d stay another night to help out so that he wouldn’t have to worry about Sarah or the house when he got back. You two could focus on what you needed as she assumed this session would take a lot out of you that already was low and fragile. 

Joel held onto your hand as he drove to Diane’s office across town, you focused on counting stop signs while he drove, trying to distract yourself. 

He didn’t push conversation or try to talk, he knew you had a lot going through your head as he saw how quickly your eyes would move from one thing to another, how you were starting to pick at your cuticles again, and your knee would bounce when you sat still. He put the radio on low and let the music fill the air. Occasionally gently squeezing your hand or pulling it to his lips to gently kiss it as he drove. 

He pulled into her parking lot, shut off the truck and turned to look your way, “Do you need a minute? We are here a little early if you need some time…” he gently ran his thumb over the top of your hand. 

You looked at the office doors and shook your head, you knew you were safe there, you knew that Diane’s office was somewhere you could seek help in times like this when your mind wouldn’t stop. 

“I’m ok. I think I’d like to go in now… sit down for a moment.” you said quietly, keeping your eyes on the door, reading the address and phone number on the door over and over again, not letting yourself think about anything else. 

Joel nodded and leaned over, kissing your temple gently, “Ok mi vida, one sec, I’ll come ‘round and get your door…” he opened the truck door and was careful to close it gently, then walked around and got your door, holding out his hand. 

You were staring at the door still, reading the numbers and spelling the street out letter by letter in your mind, your lips moving but not saying anything.  

Joel looked at you then followed your eye line to the door, seeing what was on the door then looked back at you, “1124 Teterbeen Street, Suite B, what’s the phone number baby?” 

You looked at him for a moment and saw his hand out, his big brown eyes eager to help you. You took his hand and got out of the truck, repeating the phone number to him softly. 

“Good, now remind me what’s the address again?” he kissed your temple as he gently shut the door of the truck and walked with you towards the door, listening as you read out the address. 

He opened the office door for you and walked with you inside.

Diane’s office smelled of lavender and eucalyptus which instantly calmed you. Joel could feel the rigidity in your body melt just a little as you held onto his arm. 

Diane’s receptionist smiled at you and Joel and then pushed a button on the desk, which silently let Diane know her next appointment was here by illuminating a lamp in her office just a tad that sat behind her patients so it never felt like they were being rushed but let her know to start wrapping up the session.

“She’s just finishing up, please make yourself comfortable.” she offered softly. 

You took a seat by the waterfall wall she had to bring a calm presence to the waiting area, it was somewhere you always sat before your sessions. 

Joel had never been inside the office, just always dropped you off as Diane always recommended you come in alone so you wouldn’t build a co-dependence on him but today was different, today Joel was there if you needed him you told yourself. 'I'm not alone.'

Joel looked at the wall and moved his hand to take yours, “This is pretty… has it always been here?” he spoke softly. 

You nodded, “She usually has it on. I think it’s to help calm us beforehand… she’s Pavlov-ing us.” you let out a soft snort. 

Joel chuckled, “Pavlov-ing? Like the dog and bell thing?” 

You nodded, “Positive reinforcement I imagine can be conditioned in many ways.” you shrugged, “After all, she is a psychologist, an expert in mind control…” you joked. 

Joel shook his head softly and kissed your head, chuckling, “She’d find that funny…” 

Diane’s office door opened and a young man walked out, thanking her and shaking her hand before he walked to the reception desk to schedule his next appointment. 

Diane smiled at you and cleared her throat, “Y/N… it’s so good to see you.” she came over and you stood, putting on a fake smile for her. 

“It’s good to see you too.” you nodded and put your hands behind you, starting to pick your cuticle, Joel sat and looked at Diane, smiling softly. 

“Well, in today’s session I’d like to speak with you about what happened last night and you’re welcome to have Joel sit out here or if you want, he can come in with you, but the choice is yours. I’ll just have him leave for a few minutes towards the end for you and me to talk about a few things one-on-one.” she smiled kindly and held her notepad against her chest, waiting for you to lead the way. 

You looked back at Joel and then at her, nodded, “Yeah um… can he come?” 

She nodded and smiled, backing up a could steps, “Of course. Let’s take a seat in here.” she held her arm out to guide you into her office. 

Joel stood and put his hand on the small of your back gently, “I’m right here…” he whispered to you, then walked with you as you hesitantly walked inside, all of a sudden feeling very anxious. 

You came around and sat down on the couch she had against the wall facing her chair, Joel joined next to you and softly offered his hand which you took and gently squeezed. 

She sat down and smiled at you, watching you very closely as you looked around and analyzed everything, zoning in on a new photo she had hanging behind her chair, “New photo I see… that’s uh… the Oregon coast, Lincoln city, yeah?” it showed a famous landmark from Lincoln City, Oregon’s beach.

You were deflecting and she knew it. It was something you did in the first couple of sessions you had with her when you started, she had a hard time calling you out on it without you getting defensive, telling her there was nothing wrong with making conversation. 

She knew today was not a day to call you out, instead acknowledged but slowly crawled into talking about what was going on. 

She nodded, “Exactly. You ever been there?” she smiled, leaning back in her chair. 

You shook your head and softly exhaled, “No… but there’s a resident pod of whales that visit there every season… it’s a bucket-list trip Joel and I have talked about doing eventually.” you smiled and looked down at his hand holding yours. 

She smiled and looked at Joel, who was watching you very attentively, gently stroking your hand with his thumb, “I hear it’s a beautiful place to visit. Maybe you two can go on your honeymoon…” She nodded towards your ring and smiled, “Congratulations by the way.” 

You looked at your ring and then at her and lightly let out a breathy chuckle, “Thank you…” 

“When did that happen?” she probed carefully. 

You kept your head down, starting to fiddle with the ring, “Um… two days ago…” you smiled softly and cleared your throat softly, looking at her. 

She nodded, “Joel told me that you guys had a lovely engagement party thrown by some friends and family last night, can you tell me about that? What was your peach, and what was your pit?” she smiled softly. 

You two had used this term often, a good way to express the positives but also negatives of situations without tying them to negative ideas and behaviors. It helped you express things when thinking about it in this way, she seemed to get more out of you when you thought of traumas or events this way. 

You nodded and chuckled, “Uh… peach was Joel’s toast. He uh…” you looked over at him and smiled warmly, “He has a way with words, knows how to make a girl feel like she’s god’s gift to this world.” you chuckled and he smiled, gently bringing your hand to his lips and kissing it. 

“Just speak the truth, mi vida… you are god’s gift to my world.” he winked and smiled softly. 

You blushed and looked down shyly, leaning against him, looking back at your hands connected. 

“Sounds like a good peach. It’s a lovely experience and opportunity we get when we have someone love us that type of way isn’t it?” she said as she wrote something in her notebook. 

You nodded and inhaled, “Makes the pits not so horrible.” you admitted softly, focusing on anything but her, feeling under a microscope by how she was unwrapping you and the last 24 hours. 

She hummed in agreement, “I like that point of view.” she smiled and wrote something more down. 

“Now, on the other end, what was your pit?” she looked up at you. 

You bit the inside of your cheek, and focused on picking your thumb cuticle that was near raw, “I think you’re aware of what was the pit…” 

Diane took a soft breath in and cleared her throat, “I do… but I need you to tell me it in your own words… what made it a pit?” 

You stayed quiet, your foot gently tapping the ground, tears were starting to well up in your eyes, you didn’t want to relive what happened. You knew talking about it would take off the soggy Band-Aid you were using right now and that it would open up an already aching wound. 

“I know it’s painful and perhaps a little hard to talk about…” she leaned forward, “What went through your mind when it first happened? Start there…” 

You swallowed and looked at the corner of the coffee table in front of you, “When I was back in…” you jutted your jaw out and let out a breath, trying to keep yourself calm, “... on our last field assignment, we were out running a damn missile. Same… fuckin’ whistle when it comes down from the sky echoes the field.” rolled your shoulders back and tightened your jaw. 

“Same sounds that fireworks make when they fly up, right?” Diane softly asked.  

You nodded. 

“Tell me why you took cover by the shed, what made that spot feel safe?” 

You shrugged, looking up at her. 

“What made you run to that place rather than inside?” she pressed.  

Joel looked at Diane then you, gently squeezing your hand to give you a little boost of support. 

You looked at him for a moment then looked down at your hands, again tightening your jaw, speaking softly, “Joel was in there… and for a moment I thought I wasn’t safe… that I was back in an active zone… which meant he wouldn’t be safe with me going in there…” you let out a breath through your nose, “So I went as far as I could from his point of location…” you admitted. 

Joel looked at you as you admitted that and then looked at Diane who nodded at him, letting him know that’s what she suspected. 

You looked at Diane, “I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” 

Diane wrote something in her notebook then bit the inside of her cheek, “I’m curious… let's say if Joel is with you when these moments happen- do you think he experiences the trauma you do, or do you know he isn’t in harm's way? Are you able to separate that in your mind?” 

Your body went rigid and you shook your head, eyes going numb and cold as you looked across the room at her, “I… I don’t know but I don’t want to think about that… I…” you looked down at the floor, “...there’s a peace knowing he and Sarah never will know that fear…” 

Diane nodded, taking a moment before asking, “Do you think that if he had been around when those fireworks would have gone off you would have felt safer?” 

You shrugged, “I… I don’t know.” you had a few tears fall down your cheeks, “Sometimes I can’t separate where I am from where I’ve been…” you sighed softly. 

She wrote something else on the pages then swallowed softly, “When you first took cover, what did you see, feel, hear that made you think you were somewhere you weren’t?” 

You closed your eyes trying to remember, and your knee began bouncing anxiously, “I remember hearing a faint siren in the distance.” your eyes began scanning behind your eyelids, “... the air was thick and dusty, like something may have been hit nearby… I… I could smell something burning…" your lip trembled, "...someone burning…” you whispered, voice breaking, “I couldn’t move… I… I felt cemented into the ground, heavy and…” your breathing became uneven, small jagged breathes as you started remembering details, feeling right back there, making it all too much, “I couldn’t breathe… couldn’t think, couldn’t hear… I felt like…” you shook your head feeling overwhelmed and stood up abruptly, snapping your eyes open, “No… I… I need to get out...” you began looking for the door.  

Diane and Joel's eyes snapped up to you, Joel gently reached out to touch your leg while Diane tried to hold your gaze, “Woah… ok… it’s ok… you’re safe.” Diane said softly, holding up her hands to ease you from her seat, using her hand to tell Joel to stay seated which he did, “Hey, eyes on me… let’s count down from 10…” she said calmly but firmly.

Your hands shook next to your side, fidgeting open and closed, “I can’t… fuck… I can’t do this…” You began to hyperventilate, eyes scanning for an exit, then quickly moving around the table, tripping slightly on the leg, hitting your shin, hissing, “Ah... fuck…” You kept moving and quickly opened the office door, making for the exit.

Diane pushed a button on her table next to her chair which signaled the front door to lock automatically. Her office was by a busy road, and she learned very early on with dealing with patients with PTSD to have this safety tool.

She followed you out calmly and slowly, putting her notebook down on her chair before leaving the room, Joel standing with her and following, eyes filled with concern. 

You pushed the door to open it but weren’t able to open it, which just pissed you off and made you panic, "Open the door…” you jiggled the handle again, trying to open it, “Diane, open the damn door!” your breathing became faster and panicked. 

Diane looked at the receptionist and nodded, she turned up the volume on some white noise that was playing around the office to help ease you. 

“I’m not opening the door sweetheart, it’s not safe…” she said, easing her way closer to you. 

You stood facing the door, placing your head against its cold glass, breathing frantically, “F-fuck… I…” you rolled up your sleeve and started flicking your wrist with a hair tie you had again and again, shutting your eyes. You were told that shocking your senses would help snap out of moments like this in the army. 

Diane heard the band snap against your wrist and nodded, “Good. Senses needing to be shocked I see... good job… you’re doing great.” 

You continued to snap the band against your wrist, slowly falling to your knees, “I can’t go back…” you whispered over and over. 

Diane’s receptionist heard what she had said and reached into a mini fridge she had below the desk and handed Diane an ice pack, something to shock the senses that wasn’t so abrasive to you. 

She knelt slowly, listening to what you were saying, “You aren’t going back… you’re staying here… staying safe. Shhh…” She waited for a moment then cleared her throat “Let’s try holding onto this, yes?” she said reaching out with the cold pack. 

You turned around, your wrist red and raw from the continuous stimulus to it, and sat against the door, facing them, taking the cold pack and holding it against your forehead, after a moment letting out a breath of relief and shaky breathes being taken in and out. 

Joel came and knelt by Diane, careful not to move too quickly, gently reaching out to put his hand on your knee, you looked up at him and saw how worried he looked, how he wanted nothing to do more than help you. 

You looked up at Diane and sadly sighed, looking hopeless, defeated. 

She softly smiled, “Whenever you’re ready we’ll go back and talk about how to help these moments, yes?” she reassured. 

You nodded and closed your eyes, “I’m sorr-” 

Diane cleared her throat, “What is our one rule in here about that…” 

You opened your eyes and softly chuckled, “Right… no apologies are allowed if they are due because of a trauma response…” you mocked her voice teasingly. 

Joel looked back at Diane then quickly back at you, “Ok, so that rule is carrying over into our home…” he chuckled and gently rubbed your knee. 

You rolled your eyes jokingly and smiled softly, “How did I know you’d jump on that rule?” 

He leaned forward and kissed your head, “Because you’re notorious for apologizin’ when it’s not warranted sweet girl…” 

Diane nodded, “We've found that’s a good indicator a person has been in toxic relationships where you are constantly accessing people’s emotions and reactions.” she sighed softly, “You most likely have it from your parents but mostly Charlie.” she suggested. 

You nodded and scoffed, “Lovely… one more thing from him.” you rolled your eyes and moved to stand up, handing the ice pack back to the receptionist who smiled and handed you a new one, “Keep it… seems to help.” she smiled kindly. 

You nodded softly and slowly took in a breath after a few moments, “I’m ready to go back…” 

Joel and Diane rose together from the ground and nodded as you led the way back into the room. 

You sat back down where you were and held onto the ice pack, taking a few deep more steady breaths. Diane and Joel sat back down as well where they had been. 

Diane pulled her notebook back out and talked to you a little more about what happened, and why it happened. She advised that if things happen like that again, you use things like the ice trick or something else to shock your system into snapping out of that mindset. She advised Joel on things he can do to help in moments where things like this could happen but advised him to avoid triggers if possible as the more you’re exposed early, can lead to bad habits of coping outside of your own timing. 

She looked at the clock with 5 minutes left and looked at Joel, “Could you give us a few minutes to wrap up?” 

Joel nodded and looked at you, “I’ll just be out by the waterfall, mi vida…” he kissed your temple softly and then hand before letting you go and smiled and nodded at Diane as he walked out and softly shut the door behind him. 

The moment the door closed you looked at her and chuckled, “Am I in trouble or somethin’...?” you joked. 

She chuckled, “No, not in any trouble. I just like to check on some things that people tend to not speak honestly about in front of their partners…” she smiled softly, “I need you to answer me honestly when I ask what I’m going to ask, and either way I’ll take your word for it.” 

You bit your cheek, “Damn, sounds like you’re about to ask me if I’ve killed someone…” you joked, deflecting.

She looked at you and nodded, “Well... we’ve never talked about it, and it would help possibly explain some triggers you have." she tilted her head and then softly and calmly asked, "Did you have to take any life back in Afghanistan?” 

Your breath got caught in your throat and you held tightly onto the cold pack, looking down shamefully, fidgeting with the edge of the square you held, nodding after a few moments of silence “4 lives…” you clenched your jaw, holding back tears. 

She nodded and wrote it in her notes, then softly cleared her throat before clasping her hands together and softly, carefully asking, “Because of that, have you ever considered taking your own due to guilt?” 

You kept your head down and tears fell before you looked up at her, “Once.” you cleared your throat, “It was for less than a day back before I got to go home. It was after I got back from Delta 42 and 30…” you looked away for a moment, looking out the window, “Maria had gone home, Reggie was pretty much unavailable from the time I got to base to when I left. The days got long… I was alone for a big chunk of it because they wouldn’t let me work.” you set the ice pack down on the coffee table and swallowed, “All your left with is your thoughts, you know?” 

Diane sat forward, giving you her full attention, “Sometimes silence is the most terrifying thing we can be left with…” 

You nodded and sadly smiled then bit your cheek, “I uh… I got low. Couldn’t sleep, kept having echoes of what happened in Delta 42 taunt me every time I closed my fuckin’ eyes it felt like.” you looked down at your hands, “Joel was busy one day, couldn’t talk much and without that… without having some connection to the outside, I felt so fuckin’ alone… so consumed by the loss and fucked up shit I’d done in the last 72 hours…” you lightly chuckled, tears welling in your eyes, “For no more than maybe an hour or so, I saw my pistol on the desk as a way to ease the pain, stop the chaos from swarmin’ my head…” you fidgeted with your hands, “But then something just clicked and it was like a switch toggled on in my head. I felt lighter, could fuckin’ think and breathe… I can’t explain why or what did it- but never touched that pistol again until I turned it in the day I left.” you looked up at her, eyes etched with regret, "Please don't tell Joel..." you said sadly.

She listened and nodded along with you, making notes here and there with details you had told her, making notes on things you said then looked at you when you stopped talking, “What's said in here, stays in here." she reassured.

After a few moments of silence, she asked, "Have you had any itch to harm yourself since being home?” 

You shook your head and cleared your throat, “No… Joel… Joel’s been so…” you smiled softly at your hands, “He’s been so supportive and loving that I’ve not had much time to get that low, you know?” you looked up at her. 

She smiled softly and nodded, “Joel’s a good one, he’s solid, has a big heart, and he adores the ground you walk on which adds to it all…”

That made you blush and smile. You couldn't have asked for a better partner, a better fiancé.

She lightly chuckled, “Compared to what we’ve talked about with regards to Charlie… Joel’s been good for you.” 

You blushed deeper and nodded, “I’m really lucky to have him… consider myself blessed to have even met him the way we did, you know?” 

She nodded and smiled warmly, “Now you’re engaged… how does that make you feel?” 

You looked down at your hand, messing with your ring, “I honestly had no idea he’d ask this soon, but… it feels right, you know?” you looked up, “He looks at me like there’s somethin’ worth lookin’ at. Fills my life with color.” you shyly looked back down, “I’m just ramblin’ cheesy stuff now…” 

She chuckled, “Rambling about what makes you happy, nothin’ wrong with that...” she smiled. 

You nodded and cleared your throat, “He makes me happy. I… I don’t think I’ve ever felt this happy in my life… never felt so… free…?” you chuckled. 

She nodded, “After what you’ve been through, that’s an understandable feeling.” she smiled and nodded a little then after another few moments of quiet she spoke softly, “I’d like to see you again in a few days, just for a short check-in, would that be ok?” 

You nodded and looked down, “Am I free to go?” you chuckled and then looked up. 

She nodded and stood, softly chuckling, “You call me if anything happens, even if it’s in the middle of the night, ok?” she opened her door.

You nodded and walked out of the room, “Thank you for your time today…” 

Joel stood hearing you come out and smiled at you. 

Diane nodded and looked at Joel then you, “Mind if I talk to Joel for a moment? Just to let him know how to best help you in the next few days?” 

You nodded and swallowed, “Yeah, no problem.” you came and sat in the chair next to where Joel was sitting, crossing your legs, grabbing a magazine, and looking down at it.

Joel looked at Diane and nodded, coming into the room with her, standing with his hands in his pockets as she closed the door behind her. She cleared her throat and offered for him to sit, “Oh… it’s a sitting conversation?” he asked nervously as he sat down on the couch. 

Diane chuckled softly, “Not necessarily, although what she’s going through is very serious… but nothing like… that.” she sat down and smiled softly. 

“So, what’s going on? How can I help her?” Joel asked, clasping his hands in his lap nervously but eager to listen. 

“She’s dealing with PTSD, so avoiding triggers will help, which I know can be done… you’re very aware of her environment and very protective of her.” she smiled warmly.

Joel felt empowered by that. To know his love and devotion to you traveled and was noticed by others.

“But what I’m concerned with is that if she gets to a low point she’ll… she’ll get low, really low.” she pursed her lips together to accentuate the meaning. 

He took in a breath and nodded, understanding, “What are warning signs to look out for?” 

“She’ll start to remove herself from normal social situations, she may start to say things that feel off... you’ll know what those are. I think the best thing is to keep her busy, check in daily, and maybe encourage her to write in a journal, she’d do well with that… but just, be there and let her feel her feelings but don’t let her be absorbed by them…” she said softly. 

He nodded and cleared his throat softly, “Sarah has a break comin’ up... Y/N mentioned that beach in Oregon earlier. While ya’ll were talkin’ I made some calls… I was thinkin’ of doing that in a week when Sarah's off school, do something to keep her busy but also somethin' to look forward to? What are your thoughts?” he sat a little closer to the edge of his seat. 

“I’m going to see her again in a few days, how about I let you know how she is then? She’s in no way to travel so soon based on today’s session but she might be ok in a few days after she settles mentally…” she said softly. 

He nodded and bit the inside of his cheek, “Anything I shouldn’t do?” 

She shrugged, “Ask her what her boundaries are. I think right now she just needs a lot of support, love, and patience. Some light distractions to keep her somewhat busy and not lame would be good. Things like movie nights, going to the grocery store, small car rides, things like that.” she suggested. 

“My brother, the one that set off the damn fireworks, should I keep him away? Would he be triggering?” he asked, sounding concerned. 

She shook her head, “Tommy and Maria… it would be good for her to be around them. She needs all the support she can get right now and Maria knows what she’s been through. Besides, what happened wasn’t anyone's fault, at least purposely, right?” she pressed. 

He nodded, “Right… it was all done with good intentions… just poorly executed.” he shrugged and chuckled lightly. 

Diane nodded, chuckling, “Tommy unfortunately has a record for poorly executing things like this doesn’t he?” 

Joel chuckled knowing what she was referring to; a work incident that Tommy was a little clumsy in after taking the three of them out to lunch and all of them coming back a little under the influence, “James had a hand in that too, you know?” he teased. 

She nodded and let out a louder chuckle, “I’ll never let him live that down.” 

They both chuckled and then Diane stood, “Anyways, she’s doing great, she’ll have a rough few days, but I think she’ll be ok, just keep me updated if anything gets bad enough where you can’t get her out of a… funk, you know?” she started walking towards the door. 

He stood and nodded, “I’ll keep you posted. Thanks, Diane.” 

She nodded and smiled before opening the door. You were reading a cooking magazine, deep in thought that you didn’t hear the door open. 

Joel smiled at you and walked over, sitting beside you, kissing your cheek then looking down at what you were reading, it was a recipe for a Tuscan Chicken pasta, “That looks good baby… wanna go to the store and get the stuff to make that tonight?” 

You nodded and looked at him, “But isn’t your mom cooking?” 

He smiled and looked at you, “If she is we can just cook it tomorrow but we can still go to the store? I’ll call her in the truck and ask…” he touched your cheek softly then tucked a strand of hair behind your ear delicately. 

You blushed and looked back down at the recipe then pulled out your phone and went to take a picture when Diane cleared her throat, “Take it home, just bring it back when you come back…” 

You looked at her and smiled, nodding then standing up, “Deal.” 

A week later 

You had gone in again to see Diane a few days ago and were doing much better. Elena stayed a couple of days after to keep you busy and monitor you while Joel had to go to work for a few important meetings regrettably. 

You’d never admit it, but Joel going back to work and not coddling you was what you needed. The less that you felt like a baby, the more independent you felt and the faster you adjusted and adapted. 

You still had a few hard moments over the past few days with being alone for too long after Elena had left. However, it pushed you to ask for help or reach out to friends like Rose or Maria.

You found yourself over at Rose’s offering to help with whatever she needed from day to day, not caring how small or silly it may be, you just sometimes needed to be around someone. 

Joel found when he’d come home most days he’d need to go get you from Rose’s as you would stay there until you knew someone was back home. 

After getting the 'ok' from Diane at your last session, Joel let you know that you guys were going on a road trip to the Oregon coast over the next two weeks and when you'd be leaving.

That in itself kept you busy as you packed for everyone, ran errands to prepare, and one morning instead of going on a run, cleaned the truck completely out.

---

His alarm went off at 5 am and you were already awake, buzzing with excitement. You leaned over and smiled as you kissed his cheek and brushed his hair back off his forehead, “Time to wake up, we gotta get goin’...” you giggled softly, kissing his shoulder. 

He chuckled sleepily and turned off his alarm before he wrapped his arms around you, humming, “5 more minutes darlin’...” he pulled you to lay on his chest. 

You giggled, “Joel you and I both know what ‘5 more minutes’ means and it’s not truly 5 minutes it’s another hour…” you tried getting out of his hold, smiling. 

The more you tried, the tighter he held you, keeping his eyes closed, trying to go back to sleep, “Shh, just let it happen… shh…” he teased as he held you tighter to him, starting to wrap his legs around you. 

“Damn it, Joel, you’re like a boa constrictor with your hold…” you couldn’t help but laugh and give up, “Fine, 5 more minutes…” you sighed and cuddled into him. 

He smiled and kissed your head, letting go of his hold a little, “Good girl, smart choice…” 

You blushed and laid your head on his chest, “How far are we drivin’ today?” you traced shapes on his chest. 

He hummed, partially back asleep, “We’re drivin’ to uh…” he drifted back to sleep, his arms starting to go limp around you as he was taken back deep into sleep. 

You smiled and chuckled and moved your head to watch the clock, letting 5 minutes go by before you sunk beneath the sheets and began kissing down his body, slotting yourself between his legs, dragging your lips across his bare cock making it hard quicker than you expected. 

Joel stirred and took a deep breath in, still somewhere between being awake and asleep. You kissed the inside of his thigh before spitting into your hand and began stroking him slowly, letting your saliva coat him while you pumped him in your palm. 

He groaned and turned his head in his sleep, feeling himself become aroused, smirking as he started to wake up.

You loved hearing those sounds come from him. It instantly made you wet against your panties. 

You were satisfied with your work and dropped your head to take the tip of your tongue from the bottom of his shaft up to his tip, dragging him out of his slumber, “Mmm still need 5 more minutes, amor?” you smirked as you kissed his tip making him grunt, slowly starting to wake up. 

“F-fuck…” he said as he felt your tongue swirl around his tip before sinking your mouth over him slowly, tongue flat against his shaft, softly moaning. 

You slowly bobbed your head up and down his shaft, taking more of him every time you went down.

He grunted and smirked, “Oh fuck, you’re takin’ me so good.” 

You moaned softly and pulled off with a small pop, licking your lips, “Mmm you taste so good baby…” You dragged your tongue up his shaft slowly, eliciting goosebumps up his body, “Can’t get enough of you…” you drew your lips back down and then started to suck on his balls softly. 

He gasped and gripped the sheets, cursing under his breath. He shut his eyes and swallowed a groan, making you kiss the soft spot of skin in his groin, “Mmm don’t you dare hold back on makin’ those sounds cowboy…” you stroked him in your palm.

He chuckled and let out a groan, “Fuck…” he hissed and let out a strangled moan, “Want you ‘round me…” he pleaded. 

You thought he meant your mouth so you went back to wrap your mouth around him, taking him deep and slow down your throat, gagging slightly at the size of him stretching your throat out. 

He groaned and his hips involuntarily bucked up, making you cough and moan as he went deep down your throat. 

You pulled off him and had saliva dripping out of your mouth, panting heavily, trying to catch your breath for a second, swallowing before you went to go back on him, starting to bob your head up and down again, this time a little faster. 

Joel grunted in absolute pleasure but shook his head, “Oh fuck... I need you… need you on top of me…” he groaned, jaw dropped and letting out a moan as you went down on him, moaning around his cock. 

You pulled off and smirked, kissing up his thigh, “You want me to ride you?” you asked breathlessly, slowly moving to kiss his stomach and up his chest. 

He smirked and panted softly, moving the sheets off to see you before leaning up on his elbows, looking down at you with those big brown eyes full of lust, “We’re gonna be sleepin’ in the same area as Sarah for the next 4 days… which means I don’t know the next time I’m gon’ feel your pretty pussy wrapped around my cock…” the smirked and looked up as you straddled him, your face hovering over his. 

You hummed and took off your panties, then took your shirt off, eyes bouncing back and forth between his eyes and lips, “I’m sure we can find ways… sneak around…” you started to grind him through your wet folds. 

He panted and grunted, laying back against the pillows, putting his hands on your hips, “Yeah? How would we do that?” he moved your hips at a slower rhythm than what you were, wanting this to last. 

You leaned down and started to kiss his neck sucking it softly, letting out a soft moan as his tip brushed against your clit, “We can always swing a quickie in the shower early in the mornin’ before she wakes…” you reached down between your bodies and lined him up at your entrance. 

“Think you can be quiet enough to do that? We tend to…” he grunted feeling you tease him at your entrance, “...fuck baby… you’re bein’ a tease…” he groaned feeling your lips suck against his pulse point. 

You grinned and kissed up his jaw then hovered your lips over his, “Finish that sentence handsome… we tend to what?” you looked down at his lips. 

He smirked and was lightly panting in anticipation, “We tend to enjoy each other in the shower, be a little louder than usual in there…” he bit his bottom lip, looking at yours, hungrily. 

You smirked, “I can be quiet if need be…” you sat onto his cock, slowly sinking him into your warmth, moaning softly against his lips, “I can be a good girl…”

Joel gripped onto you tightly, grunting as he felt you fully sit onto him before he sat you onto one of his elbows and cupped your jaw, “Yes you can be a good girl…” he said before pulling you down to kiss him deeply a few times before you pulled away by putting your hand on his chest and pushing him to lay down.

You started rocking your hips up and down on him, “Call me that again…” you panted as you softly moaned. 

He smirked up at you and bit his lip before lowly growling, “That’s a good girl, ridin’ my cock like that…” 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you smiled, nodding, leaning back to put your hand on his thigh then began riding him at a faster pace, up and down on him, moaning softly.  

He watched and groaned, seeing your tits bounce and the sight of him going in and out of you, “Fuck... you like that don’t you? Bein’ called a good girl…” he moved his hand up your body slowly before kneading your breast and playing with your nipple, keeping one hand on your waist. 

You gasped at the stimulation and nodded, “F-fuck that feels good…” you sat fully on him, his tip pressed up into your cervix, you swirled your hips, earning a grunt from him.

“Fuck baby, you like me that deep huh? Stretchin’ you out?” he cooed, sliding his other hand from your waist to between your bodies and using his thumb to draw circles into your clit. 

You gasped and bit your lip, “Y-Yes sir…” you cried out softly, suddenly feeling that coil start to wind up tight. 

He growled and he twitched inside of you, “Careful now…” he warned, “Callin’ me sir’s gonna get you in a different position where we’ll for sure wake up Sarah…” 

You opened your eyes and grinned down at him, continuing to circle your hips, “We aren’t road-trippin’ yet are we… sir?” you moaned softly feeling him twitch again inside you. 

His eyes went dark and he sat up quickly and smirked, before leaning forward and laying you on your back. 

He pulled out of you, “On your stomach… now…” he growled. 

You bit your lip and giggled then turned to lay on your stomach, “Yes sir…” 

He smirked and grabbed a pillow from behind him, and put his arm under your torso, pulling your hips up and sliding the pillow under you. Your hips are now slightly elevated, creating the perfect angle for him. 

He laid over you, squaring up behind you, lining up at your entrance, “You’re gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” he said lowly into your ear.

“Yes… yes please…” you begged. 

He kept himself at your entrance and used his free hand to brush your hair to one side of your body before sucking softly on your earlobe and plunging deep into your warmth.

You gasped and your hips rose up a little into him, gripping the sheets in front of you. 

He grunted and growled lowly into your ear, “Oh that’s it… fuck…”

He started rocking his hips into you, making you breathlessly moan as he whispered into your ear while letting out small grunts or groans,

“That pretty little pussy takes me so well…”

“Don’t cover your mouth. I wanna hear you…” 

“I know you can be louder than that…” 

“Such a good girl takin’ my cock like this…” 

You’d come undone within the first few minutes of him rocking slowly and deeply against that sweet spot. Your legs would quiver under him, becoming weak and melting into the sheets, mumbling how good he feels deep in you. 

He’d eventually start to buck into you faster and harder, putting his hand on your waist and one planted next to you to hold himself up, panting hard and quick, “Fuck baby you feel so tight around my cock…” 

He’d look to where you both were connected and the way your ass would shake as he slammed into you and smirked “Fuck mi vida, tu culo se ve bien rebotando así mientras me follo tu apretado y perfecto coño…” (Your ass looks good bouncing like that while I fuck your tight, perfect pussy…)

You’d arch your ass up a little with what strength you’d have left and try to thrust back into him to give yourself some added stimulation which only made things more sensitive and launched you into euphoria, “F-fuck don’t stop baby…” You pleaded as you moaned into the mattress to muffle yourself. 

Joel gripped onto you and grunted, “F-fuck…” he snapped his hips into you and then groaned as he spilled deep into you, his forehead falling against your back, panting as he stayed still inside you. 

After a few moments of silence, both of you came down from your highs.

He smiled softly and leaned his head up, “You were askin’ where we gotta drive today…” he kissed your shoulder softly, “We’re drivin’ to Albuquerque…” he softly rubbed your hip, kissing your spine, “But we should leave as soon as possible… it’s an 11-hour drive…” he kissed down your spine softly. 

You hummed and smiled feeling his lips, “We should get goin’ then… we already stayed in bed longer than we should of Mr. 5 more minutes…” you teased and turned your head to look at him as he kissed down your body. 

He looked up at you with those big brown eyes of love and adoration and smiled softly, “Touche… soon to be Mrs. 5 more minutes…” he came up and met his lips with yours, kissing you gently. 

After another hour the car was packed, and you guys were on the road towards Albuquerque, New Mexico. 

The first couple hours were spent with Sarah sleeping against the window and you reading a book while Joel listened to the radio softly in the background. 

Around the 5th hour, you put your book down and discussed some activities and stops along the way you all could take with Sarah and Joel needing some type of stimulation as the drive was getting boring. 

Sarah insisted on stopping in Moab, Utah at Arches National Park as well as the Cliff Palace in Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado. You agreed as you thought you could get some really good photos with your new camera and could get some practice taking photos of Sarah and Joel. 

Joel said he had purchased some Boise football tickets as their football field is blue and he’s always wanted to go to one of their games, he also agreed about going to Moab and said that your motel would be less than 45 minutes away from the park, it would be a good thing to do on your way in from Colorado. 

Sarah eventually got bored after the list was made and started going off with ‘eye spy with my little eye’ however there wasn’t much to go off of so you and Joel guessed things pretty easily. 

She pulled out a portable DVD player after 5 rounds ended in less than 10 seconds, frustrated. 

You chuckled and looked at Joel as she put headphones on, “Is this the longest drive we have for this trip?” 

He nodded and took your hand, bringing it to your lips to kiss it gently, “Yeah, I think the longest after this will be 8 hours from Moab to Boise…” 

You nodded and looked out the window, “You wanna switch after our next stop? I don’t mind driving…” you smiled looking back at him. 

He smiled softly and shook his head, “No, I like drivin’... keeps me busy.”

You looked back to make sure Sarah couldn’t hear before you smirked and looked over at him, “I could think of a few things I could do to keep us busy while you drove..." you teased.

Joel chuckled, “As tempting as that might be, we aren’t as sneaky as you think…” he winked at you.

You giggled and smiled at him, “Well for the record, if you need to take a break, let me know.” you kissed his hand and then leaned against the window, watching the road as he drove. 

—

With a few pitstops and several hours later, you drove into a quaint little motel in Albuquerque, NM. 

By the time you got there, it was around 9 pm, all you were doing was sleeping the night there and then leaving tomorrow for your next stop. 

When you all got checked in and into your room, the three of you took turns taking showers as you all felt gross from the drive.

You ordered some pizza for dinner and then you all watched a movie before passing out asleep around 11 pm. 

Around 3 am you woke up sweating, feeling your heart pounding but don’t remember having a nightmare so you just assumed it was due to the room being warmer than you were used to. 

You slowly got out of bed and went to adjust the A/C but seemed to not be working so you bit the inside of your cheek and tried to open a window but nothing was working to cool you off.

You came over and checked on Joel and Sarah, both seemed fine, most likely used to the heat. You leaned down and kissed Sarah’s head, pushing her hair softly out of her face, and then came over to Joel and kissed his head, making him stir but fall right back asleep. 

You took the notepad on the nightstand and wrote, ‘Going to sit by the pool, A/C sucks’, then grabbed a room key, and your book, and left quietly to go sit by the pool. 

You had short shorts on and a t-shirt, so you just walked out barefoot to the pool so you could put your feet in by the edge to cool off. 

You sat there for a few minutes before another younger guy came in, lighting up a cigarette. 

You smiled softly and nodded to be kind and acknowledge him then went back to your book thinking he would just smoke and then leave. 

After a couple of minutes of lingering, he cleared his throat, “Too hot for you too?” 

You looked up, “Pardon?” as you missed part of what he said, head stuck in your book. 

He smiled and started coming closer to you, “I asked if it was too hot in your room for you as well…” 

You chuckled lightly, “Oh, sorry. Yeah, it is.” 

He came and sat a few feet from you, rolling up his pants to put his feet in as well, “Not from the heat?” 

You shook your head and chuckled, “I should be used to it, I live in Texas but was born and raised in Washington.” you shrugged and looked back to your book, hoping he’d get the hint. 

He nodded and took a drag of his cigarette, “Ah I see. What part of Washington?” he let it out, filling the air around you with the thick odor.

You kept your nose in your book, “Oak Harbor.” 

He chuckled and smiled, “Ah, so cold Washington.” 

You nodded and hummed. 

He took another drag and then flicked his cigarette, “Whatcha readin’?” he nodded towards your book. 

You took a breath, “Uh, just a self-help book… nothin’ exciting.” you smiled and then looked back at the pages. 

He nodded and bit the inside of his cheek, “I’m Danny…” he stuck his hand out. 

You looked up and said your name, taking his hand and shaking it firmly. 

He chuckled and cleared his throat, looking up at the sky, “Nice night, huh?” 

You bit your tongue to avoid saying something rude, “Yeah, it’s not too bad.” you tried to read the same passage you’ve had to go over now 3 times due to him trying to talk to you. 

He turned and looked at you after a few moments of silence, looking down at your bare thighs that were showing due to the shorts you were wearing, “So, uh, what’s a pretty girl like you doin’ here in Albuquerque?” 

You were about to say something when Joel came in through the gate and cleared his throat, hearing him hitting on you, “There ya are, mi vida…” making his southern drawl really evident. 

Danny looked at Joel and then you, confused by the name, “Mi vida?” 

You smiled immediately hearing his voice and blushed, “My life.” You looked at Joel and then Danny.

Joel walked over confidently, “It’s Spanish, somethin’ of a term of endearment that I call my fiancé…” he came and sat by you, sitting purposely between you and Danny, offering his hand to him, “Joel… and you are?” 

Danny swallowed and smiled somewhat nervously, “Danny…” he took Joel’s hand to shake. 

Joel clenched his jaw and nodded, gripping onto his hand quite firmly, attempting to send a message, “Pleasure to meet ya…”

He nodded, pulling his hand away, and then slowly rose to his feet, “Well I think I hear my buddy callin' for me..." it was silent, "But it was nice meeting you both." he nodded his head towards you both.

Joel nodded and chuckled lightly, “Nice to meet ya… Dan was it?” he smirked knowing he was making him uncomfortable. 

Danny chuckled and nodded frantically, “Sure… yeah. Well have a good night.” he gathered his shoes and quickly made it out walking towards his room.

You chuckled looking at your book, starting to finally read again now that you felt safe, “You’re horrible, Miller…” 

Joel chuckled and turned towards you, leaning down to kiss your temple then cheek, humming, “Just making sure he knew what’s mine and who I was, that’s all…” he smirked seeing you blush. 

You smiled, “Why are you out here? You and Sarah seemed fine when I left…” You kept reading the page you were on but kept some of your attention to Joel.

“I have a hard time sleepin’ without you next to me…” he softly said, looking over his shoulder to make sure Danny left and there wouldn’t be any trouble. 

You hummed and smiled moving the book for a moment to kiss his cheek.

After a moment, he stood and started to take off his shirt and pants, leaving him completely bare aside from his boxers before he walked into the water. 

“Your note said you were too hot…” he swam up to you and floated in front of you, “How about you join me? It’s nice and cool in here…” he kissed your knee softly. 

You looked down at him and smirked, “Are you skinny dippin', Joel Miller, or did you leave boxers on?” you couldn’t tell from the angle you were at. 

He smirked, “I can gladly remove ‘em if it gets you to skinny dip with me darlin’…” 

You chuckled put your book down beside you and smiled down at him, “10 minutes then we're out and dressed in case we get caught…” You bit your lip and blushed. 

He pushed himself up from the edge and captured his lips onto yours, gently kissing you, before pulling back and nodding his head, “Strip.” he commanded. 

You turned a darker shade of red and then got up to put your book on a lounge chair, then stripped and covered your breasts with one arm and groin area with your other hand as you ran to get into the water. 

Joel removed his boxers and set them on the side of the pool then dunked his head under the water completely before slicking his hair back and swimming over to you. 

You stepped into the water and smiled feeling the water wasn’t completely freezing, humming softly “Slightly heated I see…” you dove your head down and begin to swim deeper into the pool. 

Joel nodded and chuckled watching you, seeing where you were going. 

After a few seconds, you popped up in the deeper end, slicking your hair back, softly gasping for air. 

“Did I ever tell you I swam for sport when I was younger?” he smiled. 

You shook your head, “Wait like swimming laps?” 

He nodded and smiled, “Exactly. Was pretty good at it too…” he said before he did as you did and dove down to swim towards you. 

You inhaled to hold a breath then sunk into the water to watch him swim towards you, you waved at him. 

You let out a giggle seeing him wave back and blow a kiss at you underwater before coming to the surface and gasping for air softly then looked down at the water to see him swim up to you and then breach the water in front of you and grin, “Come ‘ere you…” he gently grabbed onto your waist and pulled you close to him. 

You wrapped your legs around his torso and arms around his neck as he held you as you both floated. 

You smiled and played with his hair to slick it back, softly humming then smirking as you looked at him as you played with some curls at the base of his neck, “I seem to remember that the thought of me being wrapped around you in the water made you do some pretty naughty things in a specific boat’s bathroom cowboy…” 

He lightly nibbled on your jawline, growling, “You are correct my love…” his hands wandered between your bodies and he pressed his thumb against your clit, slowly drawing circles, “You wanna help me make my fantasy become reality?” he moved to suck on your neck softly. 

You gasped and let out a moan as you felt his thumb stimulate you, you felt like you melted with how slowly he was building you up, “Why don’t you describe to me what that fantasy was cowboy?” 

He nipped your earlobe with his teeth lightly and groaned, “I wanted to feel every inch of you while you wrapped around me… kissing your sweet lips…”

You moved your head back a little and cupped his cheek, “These sweet lips?” you leaned in slowly and kissed him deeply and slowly, slowly tangling your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to you. 

His hands were everywhere, touching your waist, grabbing the meat of your ass and thighs. They’d carefully trial up your back and sides like he was afraid he might break you if he was too rough, continuing to kiss you passionately and deeply. 

You started to feel him rock your hips as you felt his cock begin to harden up against you. He mumbled against your lips, “Wanna mark you up baby, wanna claim you right here…” he said as he feverishly kissed your lips, slowly moving to you were pressed up against the side of the pool and him. 

He moved his lips to start marking up your neck, sucking small love bites into your skin. 

You moaned softly and ran your fingers through his hair, slicking it back as he did this, grinning, “Danny got under your skin I see…” 

He growled and pulled back a little, “Talkin’ to you when you have a ring on your finger…” he hovered against your lips, moving his hand down to line up his cock at your entrance, “Now that’s downright disrespectful talkin’ to a man’s wife like he was…” he panted and grunted feeling his tip sink into you. 

You gasped and moaned, “Mmm fuck... you mean someone’s fiancé?” you teased. 

He smirked, “When someone’s flirtin’ with you like that, you’re my wife…” he said as he sunk deeper into you and groaned looking into your eyes and watching your reaction. 

Your jaw dropped and you could feel the air start to leave your lungs as he filled you so tightly, nodding, saying with a hoarse whisper, “I’m your wife…” you put your forehead against him and moaned softly. 

“I didn’t get you a dainty small ring for a reason…” he whispered, groaning as he bottomed out, feeling himself completely fill you up, “I got this ring to make a statement…” he started to pump back and forth, slowly, “…to show every other man that you’re mine.” he gripped onto your waist with one hand and cupped his other hand on your cheek, lightly gliding his thumb over your bottom lip as he thrusts up into you, watching your lips part for him. 

You moaned and lightly gripped his hair and shoulder, grinning as you felt his thumb on your lips, leaning forward just a tad, taking his thumb in your warm mouth, sucking on it as you moaned. 

His eyes turned dark and he twitched inside you, making your eyes roll back into your head and pussy tighten around him. 

“Oh fuck baby… that’s hot…” he growled and started thrusting up into you a little faster, holding onto your hip, to keep you as tight down on him as possible, hitting your cervix over and over. 

You tightened your legs around him and moaned louder against his finger, panting quickly feeling yourself about to come undone. 

He moaned and grunted feeling himself close, “Can you cum for my baby? I need you to cum for me…” he pleaded pulling his thumb out of your mouth, “What do you need?” he groaned feeling you tighten around him. 

You panted as you moaned softly, then cupped his cheek, “Kiss me…” you whispered then pulled his lips to yours, kissing his lips deeply and passionately, moving your hips with his as he continued to thrust up into you deeply, needing more friction. 

He put his hands on your hips and panted heavily as his lips crashed over yours, feeling a deep pull in his navel. 

You pulled away from his lips and stalled your hips as you came undone, fluttering around him, tightening your legs around his hips, moaning and leaning your head back against the wall, feeling waves of pleasure crash over you. 

He clenched his jaw and within moments of you tightening around him spilled into you, grunting and panting as he kissed anywhere his lips could touch; neck, jaw, cheeks, he was everywhere.

You chuckled as your head leaned against the wall and panted softly, humming, “I should let more men flirt with me if that’s the side of you I’m gonna get…” you teased.

Joel softly nipped your jaw and moved his hands up your body, groaning softly as he pulled out of you, “Nuh-uh… you’re all mine.” he smirked as he kissed your throat softly, “All mine…” he leaned up and connected your lips with his, kissing you deeply, holding you up against him. 

You two returned to the room without being caught in the pool or Sarah waking up about 15 minutes later. 

In the morning Joel’s alarm went off around 7 am. You all got up with some groaning and moaning, still tired but got showered and ready then left within the hour, grabbing breakfast on the way. 

A little over 6 hours later you ended up in Mesa Verde National Park, driving to Cliff Palace. Sarah finally felt excited about something since driving up to this point was quite boring for her. 

You all went and saw the cliff palace, Sarah took a bunch of photos with her phone, you had your camera out and were taking photos of not only the landmark but taking candid photos of people around you as well as Sarah and Joel. 

Joel found you focused on taking a photo of an older couple holding hands as they watched the landscape together, it was a sweet sight to see, they both saw new things and enjoyed each other’s company. He snapped a photo of his phone of you in your element.

Once you were done outside, Sarah begged to go inside to see the museum they had in a building nearby to which you all three went in and finished within a half hour. 

Sarah got into the truck as you were leaving and leaned forward between the two seats, “How long is it to the next stop?” she asked nervously, not wanting to be in the car longer than she had already been in the last 24 hours. 

Joel looked at her from his mirror and chuckled, “Moab is only a 3-hour drive baby girl… I promise from here on it shouldn’t be so boring.” 

She smiled and nodded then pulled out the DVD player, putting on a movie for herself. 

You pulled out your camera and started looking through the photos you had taken, mentally marking which ones you may want to edit when you got to the hotel before you fell asleep against the window, feeling the sun warming you up as he drove for the last couple hours. 

—

Almost 2 hours later Joel leaned over and kissed your cheek, “Hey, we’re here…” You opened your eyes to see you were starting to drive through Arches National Park after he paid a park ranger for entrance.  

You sat up and smiled, eyes wide at its beauty, “Holy shit…” you rolled down the window and grabbed your camera, starting to snap photos of things as you drove by. 

Sarah rolled down the window and looked at Joel, “Can I stick my head out a little?” 

Joel looked back and saw there wasn’t any traffic behind them, “Yes but be careful…” he chuckled. 

She stuck her head out and you turned and took photos of her laughing, and smiling, the red rock in the background.

You giggled and then turned in your seat and took photos of Joel, “Give me a smile, cowboy…” you smiled at him.

Joel looked at you and smiled as you took a few shots before putting his eyes back onto the road, putting his hand on your thigh, feeling utterly happy in this moment with the two most important people in his life.

You looked ahead and saw you were heading into a tunnel, you giggled and looked at Joel, “Roll down your window baby…” he looked at you a little confused, and you nodded, smiling encouragingly. 

He rolled it down then you stuck your head out of the window as you entered the tunnel and yelled, “Woohoo!” letting it echo down the tunnel. 

Sarah realized what you did and yelled as well and giggled.

Joel let out a loud whistle and shouted as well before chuckling to himself at how ridiculous this all could have sounded to the people in front of you.

The echo was filled with sounds of you and your family’s utter pure joy.

To you, this was the best sound in the world.

Previous chapter - Next chapter

a/n: this will be a three-part chapter i think instead of two, there are certain elements I want in the next chapter/part of this trip but don’t want to over wash it so just warning ya’ll there may be an extra chapter

taglist:  @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls, @docharleythegeekqueen @pedritosgirl2000 @fancyyoouu @greendudenumber7

[oldestfriend-invisibly]

Little Agatha "Can you help me?"

Early on (in the first decade-ish after meeting Rio) Agatha has only ever regressed involuntarily, but part of her wants to be able to enjoy feeling small the way Rio does.

This idea came to me last night and it was all I could think about so I needed to write it. It is extremely extremely self-indulgent, came out twice as long as intended, and is largely unedited... enjoy!!

2.2K words.

Warnings- Agatha is very uncomfortable with her regression at first and so thinks about it very negatively. There are also a couple of brief references to Agatha's childhood but nothing in detail.

The evening summer sunlight painted streaks across the floor of the cabin. Agatha was drying the dishes from that night’s dinner whilst keeping an eye on Rio. The green witch was currently playing in the garden in front of the cabin, and tonight she was acting younger in the way she sometimes did. 

In the way both of them did- if Agatha was being honest. 

In the few years the two had been living together in the cabin, they had settled into a comfortingly familiar dynamic. Whilst some of the time they were both as they were the day they met- as lovers, at other times their relationship was more similar to what Agatha had observed between the kind women in Salem and their daughters. 

Sometimes, her fascinating enigma of a wife liked to let herself feel younger, and Agatha felt herself naturally falling into the role of Rio’s caregiver. She wasn’t even sure if Rio had ever actually been a child, but she said it made her feel secure, and loved, it calmed her when she was overwhelmed, and soothed her during the cold winter mornings when the two would curl up by the fire for warmth. 

This was familiar to Agatha, and caring for her little girl made her feel important in a way her mother had once convinced her she would never be.

 Not all of Rio’s regression was smooth-sailing and happy, however. Agatha reminisced, wincing at the memories of the cosmic witch crumbling under the weight of her duties, arriving home already in her younger headspace and weeping openly for her Mama. She watched her girl now, Rio’s hands windmilling as the fireflies- beginning to emerge in the fading light of dusk- flickered around her, Agatha’s smile softened. 

Though her girl may not always be as happy as she was right now, Agatha, as Rio’s Mama, would always be there to comfort her and remind her how loved she was. Because that’s what Mamas are there for. And because Agatha knows how it feels- how it feels to be small and so so scared. 

It was an unspoken rule that they never discuss it after the fact, but occasionally, after a particularly bad nightmare, or an unexpected reminder of the abuse Evanora inflicted on her, Agatha felt her grip on her adult headspace slipping away. And in these instances, all Agatha could seem to comprehend is how badly she wanted her Mami. She’ll babble ‘Mami’ over and over through her tears when all other words fail her, she’ll reach for her with trembling hands, only begin to calm down when she felt calloused fingers card through her hair, and heard soft Spanish reassurances break through the fuzziness in her head.

Agatha absolutely hated that this happened to her. She hated not being in control, how quickly she went from being the powerful and feared witch-killer to being three years old and terrified again. For Agatha, regressing to a younger headspace was humiliating, and she’d never considered trying to do so voluntarily. 

Despite her own hesitance, she could never judge Rio for seeking such comfort. Rio was only just experiencing humanity for the first time, and Agatha was more than happy to help her explore anything and everything being a human had to offer. 

Gazing back outside at her girl, however, Agatha felt a pang of something unfamiliar. Rio really did seem so happy and unrestrained when she let herself be little like this. She wondered if she could feel like that. Unexpectedly, she found herself yearning to be held, to be read to and gently rocked, and tucked into bed all cozy. If only she were able to choose to hand control over to her Mami.

Shocked with how her thoughts had strayed, Agatha shook her head to clear her mind. Her conflicting thoughts confused her and she decided to quickly stop this train of thought. 

After all, it had gotten dark now, and she had a very excitable toddler to try and coax into bed.

…

Agatha didn’t think about the possibility of choosing to be small again until nearly a week later. She and Rio lay side by side in a grassy forest clearing, mostly in silence they had just been enjoying each other’s company. Rio’s hand in hers drew tentative swirls over Agatha’s palm, and the simple comfort of the action brought Agatha right back to her train of thought from the other night.

She was nervous to bring this up with Rio. Their dynamic had already been established, how would Agatha be a good Mama for Rio if she herself needed such care? Would Rio even want to provide it for her? 

But Agatha thought back, through hazy memories, to the last time she slipped, after a horrible nightmare. Thought about the way her Mami had pressed soft kisses into her hairline and gently wiped the sticky tears from her cheeks. How she changed Agatha out of her sweaty nightdress and pried Agatha’s thumb from her mouth and replaced it with something smooth and chewy. Agatha sucked in a sharp breath, once again overwhelmed by the thought of wanting her Mami whilst hating her regression.

“What is bothering you, Querida?” Rio turned on her side to face Agatha, and reached to brush away the hair that had fallen over Agatha’s face. 

Agatha’s voice came out quiet, tension radiating from her body. “How does it feel when you’re young, Rio? When you choose to be so.”

The question wasn’t new to Rio, Agatha had asked it many times before whenever she wanted to better understand her and how to care for her. Though now, the purple witch's, nervous tone made her wonder if the question was now coming from somewhere more personal.

Rio knew all too well the struggle her lover had talking about the times when she too found herself small, and she understood why. Agatha took great pride in her strength and independence as she’d had to tirelessly forge it for herself after leaving Salem. However, Rio had always worried about how unhealthy it probably was for Agatha to avoid all conversation on the matter. 

Her response was measured, she closely observed Agatha, watching for any adverse reactions. She didn’t want Agatha to shut down, sensing the conversation was leading somewhere important.

“Once I’ve decided I want to be small, or realised I need to be, I don’t usually have any trouble allowing myself to fall into it.” Agatha said nothing in response, clearly deep in thought. Rio resumed tracing swirls over Agatha’s hand and continued. 

“My head starts to feel a little fuzzy. Not unpleasantly so, not like the nasty buzzing when my senses become overwhelmed, more like the mist settling over the grass on a winter’s morning, or the sound of the running brook washing over pebbles. My thoughts all become simpler, like nothing else in the universe matters outside of you and I. It just feels peaceful, Agatha, really really peaceful.” 

Swirls changed to tracing the lines of Agatha’s palm as Rio waited for a response. She could practically hear the moving parts of Agatha’s brain, and refrained from pressing a kiss to her temple so as not to startle her. 

“But,” Agatha paused, clearly struggling, “how do you- how did you know you wanted to do it?” 

“Agatha?” Rio paused until the other woman turned her head and met her gaze. “Do you want to be small? To be able to choose to be?” 

Agatha tensed up again, her internal defenses clearly slammed back up. “No, that’s ridiculous! I’m not- I don’t- that’s not-” her words trailed off and she turned back away from Rio, staring up at the canopy of leaves above, she willed her anxious tears to disappear. Rio remained silent, never ceasing the movement of her fingers across Agatha’s palm. Agatha’s denial of her feelings was one of her favoured defense mechanisms, so Rio wanted to give her time to make sense of what she was feeling.

Eventually, the Purple Witch swallowed heavily, nodded almost imperceptibly, and whispered, “Yes.” then after a moment, “Can you help me?”

…

It was the following afternoon. After arriving home yesterday, they had eaten and gone straight to bed. Both women were exhausted, and decided they wanted to be rested before Rio helped Agatha regress. 

They sat together on the living room floor, cross-legged and facing each other. Rio could tell Agatha was still wary and on-edge about it. But after Rio’s repeated assurance that they would go at whatever pace Agatha was comfortable with, and that she was more than happy to be Agatha’s Mami more often, the Purple Witch no longer viewed regression solely as something to be feared.

The reminder that Rio loved every part of her made the thought of giving up control much less scary, after all, she trusted Rio completely.

Rio had to admit that she wasn’t entirely sure how to go about this, but she’d secretly longed to be able to care for Agatha like this for a while now. She had started to run her fingers through Agatha’s long hair, both grounding herself and hopefully providing comfort for the other. This appeared successful as Agatha leaned into Rio’s touch, swivelling round to be able to rest against Rio’s side. 

“Is this ok, Love?” Rio asked, voice pitched slightly higher than usual. Agatha nodded.

“It is. Could you carry on?” 

“Of course, Cariño.” Over the next few minutes, Agatha relaxed further, melting against Rio until she was virtually sprawled across her. Slowly, as not to startle her out of this sense of calmness, Rio pulled Agatha into a more comfortable position in her lap. In doing so, Agatha’s head, now supported by Rio’s hand, came to rest against the Green Witch’s chest, and she let out a contented little sigh. 

“I’ve got you right here, Bunny, you’re doing just wonderfully.” 

“I’m doing good?” Agatha asked, staring up, searching Rio’s eyes for any hint of a lie- finding none. 

“So good, Agatha, my Little Love. You’re being so brave.” 

Agatha broke the eye contact by returning to her prior position- laying back against Rio’s chest. After another minute of Rio silently stroking her hair, she spoke again.

“Think I can feel the fuzzy. Is like the waves from the beach.” 

Rio considered it- the small beach on the near-side of the large lake they often visited. How the water lapped over the sand in a constant soothing rhythm. How peaceful it was there. How it felt to stand and gaze across the vast expanse of water and feel so small in comparison.

“That is right, Bunny, just like the beach. We could go back there soon, if you would like to. Would you like Mami to tell you all about it?” 

Agatha’s breath got caught in her throat for a moment, and she nodded. “Please?” she added in a tiny voice that made Rio’s heart melt.

“You and Mami will take a quiet walk together through the woods. I will hold onto your hand to make sure you don’t get lost, and I might even carry you for a while if your little legs get tired. Once we arrive, we will eat our lunches. We will have the cheese from the goats, and slices of apple with a little honey, and some of the vegetables and berries from Mami’s garden. After that, you can play all afternoon. You could try and find all the prettiest flowers for Mami to braid into your hair, or you could visit your bunny friends, maybe you could even feed some of our leftover lunch bread to the duckies! Or if my baby gets really tired, maybe I could just hold her, and rock her gently like the leaves floating on the surface of the lake. We would sit so quietly and let the sound of the waves wash away all of our other thoughts, and your Mami would kiss your little head and remind you how much she loves you. Does that sound nice, Cariño?” 

Given the lack of audible response, Rio thought for a moment that her baby might have fallen asleep, or that she’d upset the girl, or even that she’d scared Agatha right out of the headspace she’d been teetering on the edge of. The response came eventually though and immediately dispelled her worry. 

“Is nice, Mami. Go soon?” 

Rio’s smile grew impossibly wider, and she shifted her baby in her arms so she could see her face. Agatha’s smile, by comparison, was shyer, yet was full of joy at the thought of getting to spend such a perfect day with her Mami. 

“Yes, Little Bunny, we can definitely go soon.” 

“Thank you, Mami! Thank you, thank you!” Agatha promptly flung her arms around Rio, burying her face into her neck. 

Rio knew that Agatha’s voluntary regression going forward likely wouldn’t always be this easy. If little Agatha was anywhere near as stubborn as her lover, Rio was in for a tough journey. But for now, all Rio could do was bask in the pure joy of finally holding her baby in her arms.

“You’re so welcome, Baby Bunny, Mami loves you so so much.”

“Love you too, Mami. So so much.”

[b0ydeleted]

mostly vaguing Colombia and Puerto Rico but if you could please include some other Spanish speaking countries like Cuba and DR to name a couple ^_^

Interrupting your regularly scheduled fanart because I'm politically pissed.

Here's the frames. Have fun

[taimanzano]

One of one. One, alone, one.

[vintage-sweden]

"Seth and Greta, reunited after Spanish flu", 1919, Sweden.

[vintage-tigre]

Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem in Jamón Jamón, 1992

[thunderstruck9]

Pablo Picasso (Spanish, 1881-1973), Couple, 9 June 1972. Coloured wax crayons on paper, 50.2 x 65.7 cm.

[insidekatmind]

Lessons- Marc Guiu

Request: yes!

It’s a quiet evening at Marc’s house, and the air is filled with the scent of something he cooked for you. You’re sitting on the couch with a blanket over your legs as he approaches with two cups of hot tea, a sweet smile on his face.

“Hoy practicamos español, ¿vale?” (“Today we’ll practice Spanish, okay?”) he says, handing you your cup.

You bite your lip, already knowing that your pronunciation isn’t the best, but his enthusiasm is contagious. “Vale… pero tú tienes que tener paciencia conmigo.” (“Okay… but you have to be patient with me.”) you reply, trying to imitate his accent.

Marc laughs softly, sitting down next to you. “Siempre tengo paciencia contigo, cariño.” (“I’m always patient with you, sweetheart.”) His hand rests on yours, his thumb gently caressing your skin. “Let’s start with something easy. Say… ‘Me gusta estar contigo.’” (“I like being with you.”)

You take a deep breath and repeat it slowly. “Me gusta… estar contigo.”

“¡Muy bien!” (“Very good!”) he exclaims, clapping his hands softly. “Now, in Catalan: ‘M’agrada estar amb tu.’” (“I like being with you.”)

This one seems harder. You furrow your brow and try to repeat it. “M’agrada… estar amb tú?”

Marc laughs and shakes his head. “No ‘tú’, amor. ‘Tu’. It sounds softer.”

You laugh too, embarrassed, and he cups your face in his hands. “Eres tan mona cuando te esfuerzas.” (“You’re so cute when you try.”) he whispers, placing a light kiss on your forehead.

You snuggle into him, enjoying the warmth of his body. “You know, I could keep making mistakes on purpose, just to get you to cuddle me like this.”

Marc raises an eyebrow and gives you a mischievous look. “Ah sí? Pues, entonces te voy a hacer practicar aún más.” (“Oh yeah? Well then, I’ll make you practice even more.”)

You both laugh as he continues teaching you sweet words to whisper to him, his voice warm and full of affection. And between corrections and stolen kisses, you learn that no matter the language,Marc’s love is something you understand perfectly.

[cool-i-hateme]

Creo que nunca he tenido la oportunidad de decirte por qué me encantas tanto, el porqué me atraes de esta manera tan intensa, tan real o tal vez sí la he tenido, pero no la he aprovechado como debería. La realidad es que a veces es inexplicable porque tú significas tanto para mí que es casi imposible ponerlo en palabras, pero va, lo voy a intentar. 

Me gusta que eres crudo y que hablas sin rodeos, sin pelos en la lengua, que dices siempre las cosas como son; me gusta que aunque eres crudo, y tienes un carácter de la chingada, a mí siempre me tratas bien, me gusta que te preocupes por mí, que me llamas por nombres bonitos, me gusta tu personalidad, la forma en que sabes exactamente de qué hablo sin yo tener que explicártelo, y todo esto es apenas la punta del iceberg, porque aún ni siquiera he hablado de cómo me fascina tu voz, tu risa y tu sonrisa, la forma en que tienes los ojos achinados y tus cejas, pero, lo que más me encanta de ti, es que contigo puedo ser yo misma, sin miedo de que me juzgues, me gusta que me gustes tanto porque eso solo es prueba de que el amor en el que he creído desde niña es real.

Que me gustes de esta manera, me aterra porque me puedes destruir si así tú lo quisieras, pero yo te conozco tan bien que sé que jamás lo harías. ¿Sabes también qué me gusta de ti? que sin darte cuenta tú siempre mejoras mi día y me das la valentía que la mayor parte del tiempo me falta. 

No sé si vas a volver, no sé si ese fue nuestro adiós, de cualquier manera yo espero que tú sepas que, como te amo, no he amado a nadie, y que yo por ti haría cualquier cosa, Andrés. 

[alexiasleftoversalmon]

STOPP I LOVE THEM

[notyourmusebby]

“hacemos MUY BUENA PAREJA” says carlos,

while smiling like that?? boy if you don’t start showing some decorum

[girlsdit]

culpa mía (2023)

[nipuni]

On may 2nd we participated in the reenactment of Madrid's uprising against French occupation in 1808 at the Royal palace and also visited the Liria Palace 😊 All of Madrid was there!! it was crazy, I couldn't take pictures once the act started but we were on the news and had our pictures taken by the press 😵‍💫

[tinseltownie]

New Couple Alert 🚨