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If I kill myself, I wonât be too much anymore. Iâll be nothing which is a million times better than being too much. I ache to be nothing.
#heartache#heartbreak#my post#break up#unlovable#actually bpd#actually borderline#bpd#fp#s#not good enough#too much#mentally ill#bpd vent#bpd rant
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Can you do an enemies to lovers with #18 Letâs play a game⌠with Yoongi please. đđ
This is kind of like a lovers to enemies to lovers thing. I hope thatâs okay! Itâs also longer than I intendedâŚ
< Sprinkles >
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of cheating, tiny hint of homophobia, Divorce, Smut (oral, unprotected sex, breast playâŚ)
Enemies to lovers
#18 âLetâs play a gameâŚFirst one to make a noise looses.â
*******************************************************
Yoongi: I swear Y/N if sheâs not ready when I get thereâŚ
You: Omg Yoongi it was one time and she had an accident right before you got here. Let it go alreadyâŚ
You sighed as you tossed your phone aside. He was on his way to pick up your daughter for the week and apparently was set on never letting you forget the one time he got stuck in rush hour traffic on his way home because your daughter wasnât ready as soon as he got there.
Things hadnt always been this bad between the two of you. At one point you were a loving happy couple and that only increased when your daughter, Hana, was born. Yoongi was the most the incredible husband and father and you couldnât imagine your life any other way.
But a few months after she was born things started to fall apart.
Hana suffered from acid reflux so she was up most of the night crying. You and Yoongi took turns tending to her but by the time you would finally fall back asleep sheâd wake up again and it was your turn to get up. Yoongi was working overtime trying to support all of you so that you could stay at home with the baby as long as possible so 99% of the household responsibilities also fell on your shoulders. You had reached a level of exhaustion you didnât know was possible which led to the two of you not having much alone time together and any time you did spend in each other presence usually involved an argument of some sort.
They started as common arguments between couples like housework, bills, and making time for each other.
But over time the arguments turned into petty little thingsâŚYoongi blinked too much, you used too many periods when texting, he didnât like the way you said the word rainbow, he wore his green sweater too much.
The final straw was the argument on this birthday. You had put together a surprise party which he never showed up for. Instead he texted you that his boss wanted to take him out to dinner and he was really working hard towards a promotion so he didnât want to say no. He promised to spend the entire weekend with you and Hana to make up for it.
You were beyond upset, but you understood he was just trying to better your lives so you did your best to cool down. It wasnât until later that evening after everyone had left and Hana was asleep that you finally broke. Yoongiâs boss, Mr. Kim who you were friends with on social media, had posted a photo congratulating Yoongi on his new promotion. At first you were ecstatic. He had worked so hard for this and maybe now he could remove some of the stress and have more time at home. But then you saw itâŚor her.
Park Duri. She was technically Mr. Kimâs assistant but for some reason was always involved in Yoongiâs schedule. He talked about her a lot. Youâd met her a few times and she seemed nice but you always got an uncomfortable feeling whenever you were around her and Yoongi together.
It infuriated you but mostly just hurt you that she spent your husbands birthday with him and also witnessed him get his promotion all while you sat at home eating cold left overs alone.
What brought you to tears though was seeing his arm wrapped so tightly around her shoulders while she leaned into him. He had the biggest gummy smile. He looked so happy. A happy you hadnât seen in him since the day Hana was born. He certainly never looked that happy around you any more.
That night he stumbled into the bedroom after having one too many drinks in celebration, passing out on the bed without saying a word to you. That night you made up your mind. The next morning you called a lawyer and filed for divorce.
Things were bitter between the two of you ever since. The only positive was Yoongi was still a very present and loving father which is all you could ask of him. You just wished the two of you could be in a room together for more than a few minutes without blowing up at each other.
âShe ready?â, he questioned as soon as you opened the door.
âWell hello to you too.â
âHello my dearest soon to be ex wife. How are things down in hell where you come from?â, he spat clenching his jaw.
âYou know what Yoongi why donât you go fuc-âYou had to stop your comment as you heard your daughter come running to the entrance way.
âDaddy!â, she shouted as she jumped into his arms.
âI missed you so much Hana Banana.â, he said giving her cheek a kiss.
âTell your mother goodbye.â, he mumbled already half way down the hallway. You gave your daughter a hug and told her to behave before handing her the pink overnight bag she had and watched as she skipped down the hall with her hand tightly gripped onto Yoongiâs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were nervous like extremely very incredibly nervous. You and Yoongi had to meet with your lawyers today to try and hammer out the last few details of your divorce. If you could get this done then you just had to go back in a week to sign everything and the divorce would be final.
âNo absolutely not.â, Yoongi said making your eyes roll.
âWhy not Yoongi? You get custody of Hana 50% of the time. Iâm not asking for any money other than requesting we split all bills for Hana 50/50. I already have my own apartment and so do you. We have separate cars and separate bank accounts. What else could you possibly want?â, you shouted getting very irritated. Every single time you guys had tried to come to a conclusion in the divorce Yoongi found a way to drag it on just to spite you.
âI want something in here about us not letting Hana meet our future partners without the other parent meeting them first.â, he said pointing at the contract.
âWhat!! Absolutely not? Youâre not MY father and have no say in who I date.â
âNo but I am Hanaâs father and I deserve to know about the men that youâre bringing around her. I shouldnât have to find out from our five year old how youâve been bringing some guy named Jimin, whoâs apparently very handsome, around the apartment. I mean come on Y/NâŚweâre not even officially divorced. I never took you for that type.â
âAnd what.type.is.that?â, you hissed.
âThe type to go around fucking other men before they are even officially divorced from their husbands.â
âEXCUSE me!! First off Jimin is Hanaâs ballet teacher whoâs been coming over to give her private lessons. She has a little crush on him. Maybe youâd know that if you actually talked to her and asked her questions about her life. Secondly, you have a lot of nerve accusing me like that. If I was sleeping with Jimin, which Iâm not, at least I waited until we were separated.â
âWhat is that supposed to mean?â, he asked hurt and offended because he already knew what you were getting at.
âOh cut the bullshit Yoongi. I know you were cheating on me with Duri and who knows who else. Thatâs why you always came home late smelling like another womenâs perfume. Thatâs why we stopped being intimate. Thatâs why you stopped telling me you loved me. Isnât it Yoongi?â
You were so angry by this point you couldnt see straight but it felt good to get that off your chest until you could feel tears forming. You hated crying in front of others, especially Yoongi.
Your lawyer Jin cleared his throat before giving wide eyes to Yoongiâs lawyer Namjoon. âUmm maybe we should continue this next week.â, Namjoon whispered somewhat afraid to get in between you two.
âYes good idea.â, Jin said packing up his brief case. You stood up as well slinging your purse over your shoulder.
âY/N waitâ, Yoongi said but you stopped him, âNo go fuck yourself Yoongi. Iâm done.â
âRight back at you.â, he scoffed as you slammed the door behind you.
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âTae, he knows heâs supposed to run it by me first if someone else is going to be picking up Hana other than him.â, you said feeling bad for the irritation in your voice. It wasnât Taehyungâs fault at all. He put his hands up in defense, âI know I know. He said it was urgent and he would explain it to you later.â
You wanted to say no but Hana had already seen him at the door and was currently dancing around the house shouting party at Uncle Taesâs and you did trust him completely so you gave in and let him take her with a mental note to scold Yoongi later.
While you missed Hana dearly during these times you did appreciate having some alone time so you were sat on the couch in your comfy pjs with a glass of your favorite wine as you got caught up on a drama you had been sucked into.
The doorbell rang forcing you to get up and answer it and you really wished you hadnât.
âYoongi? Hana is with Tae.â, you said feeling a slight increase in panic.
He nodded, âI know.â
âOh my god are they okay? Did something happen?â
He chuckled, âTheyâre fine.â He even showed you a photo he received of Hana giving Taehyung a full beauty makeover. You felt relief at seeing her okay and happy.
âOkay then why are you here?â, you questioned.
He held up a bag from your favorite bakery a few streets away, âI want to talk. No lawyersâŚno shoutingâŚno arguing. We just need to talk like civil adults.â
You shook your head, âI donât know Yoongi. That sounds like a bad idea. At least the lawyers could call the police when we kill each other.â
He chuckled at that, âPlease Y/N.â For the first time in a long time you saw something in his eyes other than anger so you agreed and let him in.
After a few cookies and a few episodes of your drama you turned to him, âAlright, what do you want to talk about?â
âWellâŚfirst I want to apologize for what I said during the meeting with the lawyers the other day. I guess I was just kind of hurt and maybe a little jealous because I thought you had already moved on with someone else. But after thinking about itâŚI have no place to feel like that so you can do whatever you want with whoever you want. I just think we should agree to not introduce anyone to Hana for a while.â
âI agreeâŚbut Iâm not interested in dating anyone right now. But if youâŚif you want to then I donât care.â, you quickly added though he shook his head, âIâm good. I want to focus on work and Hana for a while.â
You nodded in agreement.
âI uh I also want you to know that I never cheated on you. I swear on Hana. Iâve never even thought about it.â, he said while pulling on his earlobe, a nervous habit of his.
âYou came home smelling like perfume, many times Yoongi.â
âI knowâŚI know but thereâs an explanation for that which isnât me cheating.â
You rolled your eyes, âOh I canât wait to hear this one.â You could tell he wanted to say something back but bit his tongue making you feel a little guilty.
âY/N, do you remember on our first anniversary I gave you those flowers.â, you nodded, âWell I didnât pay for themâŚactually I never paid for any of them.â
âYou thief! Seriously Yoongi you were risking going to prison over flowers?â
âWill you shut up and give me the chance to explain?â, he barked. You huffed but leaned back into the couch.
âI had severely under estimated how expensive flowers had become. Thanks to all of our bills and our furnace breaking the week before I couldnât afford to buy them. I started crying in the shop because I felt like the worst husband ever. The elderly woman who owned the place asked what was wrong and after some convincing I told her. She told me how her husband used to bring her flowers every week and it gave her something to look forward to no matter how tough of a time they were going through. So she gave me a small bouquet to give to you. I reminded her that I couldnât pay but she said she only wanted a hug. So the next week after I got paid at work I went back to get you more flowers and pay her back for the first bunch but she wouldnât accept my payment. She only wanted a hug. She did that every time that I went in there and thatâs why I came home smelling like perfume. I never cheated with herâŚI mean⌠she did grab my butt once but I wouldnât really count that.â
You chuckled at the mental picture before remembering, âAnd Duri?â
âDuri wouldnât have wanted me even if I did want to cheat on you with her. She was aâŚshe was not into men so you wouldâve had a better chance than I did. She just liked me because I was one of the few people in the office that didnât judge her.â This new information caused you to feel so many different emotions some good some bad.
âY/N I never cheated on you. Iâm sorry that I made you doubt that.â
âOkay yeah thanks for clearing that up. Iâm uh Iâm sorry for not asking sooner.â
âIâm also sorry that I stopped initiating anything intimate. It wasnât you at all. I was just always so tired and stressed and then if I did want to do something you just seemed so angry and distant with me or Hana was acting up and I didnât want to push you into any thing. But most of all Iâm sorry that I stopped telling you how much I love you Y/N. Thereâs no excuse for that and I regret it more than anything.â
His words replayed in your mind over and over, âYoongi did you mean you loved me?â
He shook his head, âI love you Y/N. I always have and I always will. Thatâs why Iâve been trying to drag on this divorce. Iâve been selfish because I didnât want to let you goâŚbut MondayâŚMonday we can call the lawyers and Iâll sign the papers. I wonât make you suffer any more.â
âIâŚI love you too Yoongi.,â you stiffled unsure of when you even started crying.
Quickly he pulled you into a hug, âHey hey itâs okay. Donât cry. I hate seeing you cry.â
âWhat do we do Yoongi?â
âWellâŚwe can continue with the divorce if you want or we can try again. Go slow. Maybe see a couples counselor. I think having this talk really helped us so I think talking to a professional would be a good thing. But itâs up to you. I want to save thisâŚI want to save us but I wonât force you.â
âYeah I thinkâŚI think we should try to work on things.â, you nodded. He smiled and you smiled both breathing a sigh of relief.
Then Yoongi fidgeted with his fingers as he looked around the room that had suddenly become more awkward., âWell uh I guess I should get going. I need to save Taehyung from his baby sitting duties.â
âOooorrr maybe you could stick around a little longer. I think Taes having the time of his life.â, you chuckled before flipping your phone over show him the text of a photo of Tae on the couch and Hana cuddled up next to him as he gushed about how wonderful she is.
He smiled at the cute photo before agreeing to stay since he really didnât want to leave anyways.
Maybe it was the bottle of wine that you two had during the movie or the months and months without being touched or just being exhausted physically and emotionally that was causing your brain to go haywire but suddenly you could sense every little movement from Yoongi.
The way his chest moved up and down as he took slow breaths. The way he sat kind of slouched with his legs spread out. The way his fingers kept inching closer and closer to the bare skin of your thighs. It all sent a fury of emotions through you as you could feel your arousal building, almost making you feel silly for being so weak for him.
But you two had barely agreed to work on things less than a few hours ago so you tried your best to ignore the desires within you.
You knew that Yoongi was having similar feelings as you when his fingers continued to move slowly up the side of your thigh until his large hand was firmly situated on the top of your leg, his fingers began gently toying with the bottom of your shorts as if he was testing the waters to see if you were going to stop him. When you didnât, he got a little more brave slightly pulling on your bottoms but then he suddenly pulled back.
âY/NâŚIâŚWe can stop if youâre not into this. Iâm sorry. I shouldnât have done that...Itâs just been so long.â
âI know it has been. MaybeâŚMaybe I want this too.â
He scooted closer until you could feel his warm breath hitting your cheek.
âY/N, maybe isnât enough for me. I need a yes or a no.â, his voice deeper than usual.
You thought for a moment. You thought about the positives and negatives. He started to move away taking it as a no when you stopped him. Quickly you lifted yourself up and straddle his lap before kissing him, âYes I want you. I want you Yoongi. I want you so bad.â
That was all he needed to send his lips searching for yours. His hands grasped the end of your shirt and began pulling it up, you shimmied to help make it easier for him.
In one swift movement you were left completely bare in front of him thanks to having forgone a bra earlier in your search for optimal comfort.
He sat staring at you making you flush red.
âFuck Iâve missed these.â, he smiled squeezing your breasts. âYoongi donât make it weird.â, you chuckled yet doing absolutely nothing to stop him especially once his mouth connected to your left nipple and he began gently biting down, something he knew you loved.
The more you moaned the more it egged him on to bite and squeeze and suck and leave marks all over your naked breasts. You started to grind down on him using his growing erection to provide some friction to your wet core. The sensation making you both throw your heads back.
âWant to make you feel good.â, you mumbled against his neck leaving kisses as you went.
âYouâre already making me feel good Sprinkles.â
On your first date you got really excited to find out the cafe had sugar cookies covered in sprinkles. Yoongi thought it was the cutest thing ever and had in turn started calling you Sprinkles.
Your heart jumped at the use of your nickname that you hadnât heard him say in so very long.
It wasnât until you felt his hips buck up into you that you were brought back to reality, âNo I want to make you feel really good.â, you whispered already on your knees while your fingers quickly worked on his belt and zipper. As you finally freed him you were reminded about just how big he was.
You saw him smirk as you stared somewhat in shock, âWhat donât think that pretty mouth of yours can take me any more?â
You didnât say anything. You wanted to bite back but instead you dove in. Your tongue licking a strip on the underside. You went right into a rapid pace, sucking, licking, paying close attention to the head just like he liked.
You took pleasure in watching him come undone above you. His cheeks tinted red, his legs spread far apart giving you ample room, you gripped onto his thighs as his head rolled back on the couch. He ran his hands through his hair getting lost in the feeling and savoring the sensations of your mouth taking him fully.
Suddenly his hand came and fisted a chunk of your hair, âY/N, StopâŚyou gotta sto-â
You couldnât get your mouth off in time before he started convulsing and a warm salty liquid coated the back of your tongue.
While it definitely was a confidence booster to know you could have that kind of an effect on him it was still funny to you and you couldnât stop giggling, especially when you saw how embarrassed he looked.
âShut up. Itâs been a long time since Iâve had anything but my hand.â, he grumbled.
âNo no itâs okay Yoongles.â, you giggled until your giggles turned into a scream as he lifted you up and carried you to the bedroom.
Once you were laid down on the bed he wasted no time in tearing off your shorts and removing his shirt leaving you both completely bare.
âFuck look how wet you are.â, he sighed as he ran his fingers through your folds.
âMmmm yes Yoongi.â, you moaned finally feeling a little relief until he abruptly stopped and pulled away.
You whined at the loss of contact earning a low chuckle from him.
âPlease donât tease. I need you so bad.â, you said as your hips began shifting looking for pleasure.
Yoongi being the way that he was decided to only tease you further. This time with the head of his already hardened again cock as he would barely give you the tip just to pull away leaving you needy and empty.
âFine keep doing thatâŚMaybe Iâll go ahead and call Jimin. I bet he wouldnât tease me.â, you spat somewhat playfully somewhat loosing your mind.
Without warning Yoongi slammed into you fully sheathing himself. âOh fuck Yoongi.â, you cried blissfully at the burning stretch.
âYeah you like that. You think itâs nice to talk about other men while Iâm fucking you.â, he growled, âIâll make you forget he even exists. Fuck Y/N.â He was fucking into you with such a quick forceful pace that your whole body was being pushed up against the bed until you couldnât go any more.
âDonât stop. Iâm about to cum. Please Yoongi.���, you cried.
âYeah, then cum for me.â, he said, âlet me feel you squeezing my cock like you want it.â
That was all it took until you were pulsing around him squeezing with everything you had as your body reveled in the feeling. A feeling you had long forgotten about.
Once you had come down from your high he wasted no time before he was pounding into you again trying to chase his own release.
âWhoa whoa.â, you said and he instantly pulled out looking at you with a worried expression, âWhat? Are you hurt?â
âYou get to cum twice while I only got once? That doesnât seem fair.â, you smirked while he looked at you slightly annoyed.
âI mean I think I deserve another oneâŚor are you too out of the game to be able to make your girl cum more than once in a night.â, you playfully quipped.
Yoongi ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek in irritation, âYou know youâve become quite the mouthy one Sprinkles.â
He slowly stroked himself a few times knowing it was going to be difficult for him to hold off his already close orgasm.
âHow about we make this a little interesting?â, he said lining himself up with your entrance.
âIâm listening.â, you said half moaning at the sensation.
âLetâs play a gameâŚFirst one to make a noise looses.â, he said, âLoser has to cook dinner next Friday for date night.â
You head rolled back, âYouâre on.â
âAnd I expect fresh baked brownies with my meal when I win.â, he arrogantly said as he slammed into you again.
He was watching himself disappear inside of you and reappear covered in your juices as a way to try and keep his focus when you decided to play dirty.
You squeezed your walls around his length as tight as you could trying to get a moan or a hiss but he was good. Instead he looked up giving you a look that said two can play that game.
He kept eye contact as he brought two fingers to your swollen clit rubbing figure eights to add extra pleasure as his mouth latched onto your right nipple. You bit down onto his shoulder to stifle the sounds your mouth was begging to make.
The two of you lasted at this for several minutes before you had a realization.
Yoongi was going slow, taking his time, gently thrusting in and out of you, which you knew meant he was close and trying to hold out as long as he could.
And then you decided to make the move that you knew would surely make him come undone and spill a litany of filth from his mouth.
You hooked a leg around him and with all the strength you had you pushed home and flipped over so that he was on his back and you were on top, his dick remaining inside you the whole time. You nearly laughed out loud when you saw the surprised look on his face but you managed to stifle it.
You started bouncing up and down on his cock with a rapid pace. Your were so close to your own orgasm. Your thighs were burning but you could feel his hands eagerly grabbing onto your body trying to stop it. He was so close too.
Carefully you leant forward just enough that you could suck little marks into his skin while still riding his dick. The angle allowing your tits to lightly brush up against his skin with your movements. You gave him a couple extra squeezes for good measure and next thing you knew his hands were on you holding you in place as his own hips bucked up into you, âF-Fuck Y/N. Fuck Iâm coming... Iâm coming. Baby fuck. I tried. Iâm sorry.â
You could feel hot liquid already dripping out of you and making a mess on him as he helped you ride out your own high that quickly followed.
When your breathing had calmed he helped you off of him and quickly got you all cleaned up before laying down next to you on the bed.
âThat was uhâŚI think we needed that.â, he said giving your hand a kiss.
âYeah it felt good. I think that maybe we lost ourselves in being parents and forgot that we have needs too. LetâsâŚnot do that again this time.â He nodded, âSpeaking of which I should probably go relieve Taehyung. I told him Iâd only be a few hours at most so heâs probably not happy.â
âYeah probably. Hey make sure Hana eats something other than takeout this week pleaseâŚand she has a dance less with Jimin on Wednesday so maybe be nice when you drop her off.â, you said following him to the door.
âYes to the no takeout and weâll see but no promises to the Jimin thing.â, he grumbled.
He put on his coat and shoes and gave you a kiss and was just about to walk out the door when you stopped him.
He turned to look and found you smiling hard.
âWhat?â, he asked confused.
âFor dinner next FridayâŚI expect fresh baked sugar cookies with my meal.â, you giggled as his face fell remembering that he had in fact lost the game.
âFineâŚsugar cookies it isâŚooorrrr you know we could go best two out of three.â, he said already reaching out for you.
âAnd donât skimp on the sprinkles.â, you shouted quickly shutting the door before you could give into his little game.
#bts#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi#bts fanfic#bts x reader#yoongi x y/n#yoongi fic#yoongi angst#bts yoongi#yoongi smut#yoongi fluff#s#yoongi
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#sapnap#HE GOT SHY WE SHOULD KILL OURSELVES. aurgh my cutie pie :(#being really normal and scheduling these instead of posting them at. 2am#s#*gifs
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Shape: Unimodal, Skewed Right
You know that feeling when you drink some cold water and you can like almost feel it travel all the way down your esophagus and into your stomach?
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#sexy and beautiful#big beautiful breasts#curvy mature#cute#mature beauty#mature lady#mature wives#beautiful mature#maturesexy#sexy pose#so hot and sexy#s
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hello satosugu
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BHAHAHHAAH
NOT IF I DRAW IT FIRST... MWEHEHEHEH
haihai :3 *shows you random cursed screenshot collection from that one baking animation*
^ this implies you could bake a cosmo inside of the oven
(this animation is so unserious)
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#original#90s#s#đŤ§#rgu#rgu ep 1#anthy#revolutionary girl utena#shoujo kakumei utena#oldanimeedit#utenaedit#animedaily#animationsdaily#1990s#1990s anime
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Philip Schaefer
#s#itâs been hard to think#lately#i see you in everything i love#i donât know how to do this#words#poem#quote
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i found the tenth circle of hell: it's where your fave blows up on tiktok
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i have nothing to say for myself
#sapnap#SORRY. SORRY ANYWAY#love the purple room but it makes coloring really hard#meaning i didnt do it at all here bc well i did not want to :/ also his stupid bright ass light at the top#could i have fixed this Well yes. but im lazy and it's 2am and it's literally 2 gifs of him drinking a can of sprite i think it's ok#also I Need Him. that's all bye#*gifs#s
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itâs funny bc youâre 13 and youâre like wow dan howell is literally meeeee. and then you come back over a decade later and youâre like oh ive changed so much, dan howell canât possibly be me anymore. but turns out dan howell has changed too and he is still literally you.
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