#! oh thats so fun theres Lightning here too
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theres a big lightning storm here right now and i keep thinking about c!tommy every single time the lightning flashes
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#confessions#ch: c!tommy#! oh thats so fun theres Lightning here too#bigggg fucking lightning storm#thats so cool#and so real#lightning is so c!tommy-core#(tbh he got struck by it so it checks out but)
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*crashes in here* ok ik i havent been here in a bajillion years and i am so sorry for that and unloading a small novel on you dgkdgkh
but i had the dumbest thought. imagine tryna teach the sanderson's modern stuff. cuz i just saw a selfship post that said something along the lines of studying with your fo (fictional other. like a significant other, but its a fictional character instead of an actual human sgshdh) and now all i can think about is attempting to teach winnie, mary, and sarah all the stuff ive learned over the years
im not sure who'd find which subjects the most interesting. i dont have any art textbooks but i do have some notes from art history and waaayyy too many art supplies and i'd be happy to teach mary and sarah about art history and how to use some of the things i have (assuming i remember how to use thems). i think winnie would be fascinated by science! theres some branches of it like chemistry that feel a lot like magic, but i.... dont have access to things like that nor the smarts to even attempt to do chem (i do have access to vids so theres that at least), so it'd be hard to teach her that. i do have some anatomy and biology books that i think she'd like, and i have so many space books and i am dying to share them with all three of them holy dhit.
as for history, i think all three of them would be fascinated by it. theres been so many things that have happened since they died the first time around as well as so much that happened before they were born or happened when they were young but on the other side of the world.
plus, maybe some of what im talking to them about would help stick in my own brain easier so thats a bonus!
I am SO SORRY I'm answering this right now, but the past few weeks have been hectic to say the least 😭 I started Swedish clases lol.
Anyway YES I AGREE Mary but Sarah especially would be so interested in art methinks. Actually I believe Sarah is interested in fashion in some way (I hc that she made her own clothes and helped make Winnie's gown). And YES Winnie is so woman in STEM to me 😩 however I failed Chemistry every single year of high school lol BUT I was top of my class on Biology 😎 and actually think Sarah and Mary would be interested in Biology, although for different reasons (one for cooking and the other well... torture 😅).
OH YEAH HISTORY THAT'S SO FUN I think maybe they have an interest in different eras, Mary is definitely more of a contemporary girl (the way she picks up modern slang??? Scary). Winnie might be obsessed with the British Royal Family ngl 😭 I wonder what she'll think of Princess Diana. Now Sarah I'm not sure what she would enjoy from History 🤔 I mean ig fashion history or something idk 😭😭😭
ALSO ACTUALLY I REMEMBER WATCHING AN ALCHEMY VIDEO and it's pretty much Chemistry so. I think Mary would enjoy Chemistry too but maybe a different branch. Medicinal Chemistry perhaps? While Winnie is more of a Environmental Chemistry girl (since she literally can shoot lightning from her fingers I wouldn't be surprised she wanted to make a contraption to... Idk shoot fire as hot as the fucking sun)
#also obviously since Mary is already a walking fat stereotype lets not forget she's definitely interested in cooking#(well so am I. I am also a walking fat stereotype)#hocus pocus#hocus pocus 2#asking the ghost#sarah sanderson#winifred sanderson#the sanderson sisters#mary sanderson#also Winnie is a resourceful girl she'll figure out how to make some chemical components and shit#where did she get them from? we'll never know
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I would love to know more about the groundhog day au in general! Theres not really anything about it on the discord or anything from what i could find
@bttf-dork
oh boy! ok so, the basic gist is that marty basically accidentally breaks the space time continuum is such a way that on tuesday, november 12th, 1985, he gets looped. the "groundhog day" aspect is only the time loop part, i just like groundhog day so i named the au after it.
its been a bit since ive thought about this one, but if i remember correctly the reason he gets looped is partially because it's the anniversary of the lightning strike and partially just the universe messing with him. much like how phil, in the movie, only get unstuck when he becomes a better person with out any alternative motives (thats how i interpreted it at least) marty only gets unstuck when starts believing in himself, or something like that
like, by this point hes gotten over the whole chicken thing but is still in a very much "if I dont succeed in this (get a record or something like that) then I suck", so it's only when hes able to work through that mindset that he gets unstuck. the problem, however, is that he doesn't know this and so spends so many more loops trying to get and spiraling that he isn't able to work through that.
the first few loops are spent with a slow dawning realization of the time loop, and that it is actually continuing and is not just a one time thing.
next many are used trying to get out. doc pretty much immediately believes him every time, so they spend loop after loop theorizing about why it's happening and how they can fix it, or actually trying to fix it. none of these work however
eventually marty gives up on being able to stop the loops and enters a depressive state. these loops range from being to go to school normally, to not being able to get out of bed, to purposefully running away and getting into extremely dangerous situations just to experience something new. some of these things even end with him getting killed (rip), though he's always able to come back
there are some days where he confides in jenn about the looping, or reveals to his parents all his time travel shenanigans. these days usually go pretty good. he has stopped telling doc about it because he's almost completely lost hope in ever getting out and going to doc with only get his hopes up farther, just to be shot down again.
it's after one of the loops where he talks to jenn when he finally begins to look on the positive side of his situation. im not exactly sure how it will end, other than when the loop finally breaks he completely breaks down and is unable to go to school. he then spends a lot of time talking to doc about it, adjusting to things being able to change and just working through everything that happened.
anyway! thats the basic gist of the au! some other fun facts is that his alarm everyday in the loop is "i got you babe" (like in groundhog day) but his alarm the next day, when the loop breaks is "back in time" (like in that one spn episode)
here's the janaury drawing too, btw
#back to the future#fiddl is sorry about your barn#back to the future au#groundhog day#bttf groundhog day au#enjoy! :)#ask game#brought out my keyboard just so i could type this easier
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ok, i only have an hour at most, but i've been informed the way forward is to the castle, so...gulp, yikes, jinkies, zoinks, etc
OKAY WELL.
firstly i tried to be funny and start at the top bc i knew. and i was right. that they put a korok here
secondly IT'S ALWAYS LIGHTNING? I DON'T HAVE ANY WOODEN WEAPONS!!!
thirdly. the fake zelda's voice is INCREDIBLY creepy. the model would've fooled me but not her voice. yyyyyikes.
ohhhh the music is different! not just what plays near it down below...
snagged a shrine for fast travel but im NOT doing that shit rn
i would say "at least theres no guardians" but....
wait. lemme check for hands.
ok, a couple on the outskirts but none IN the castle itself thankfully......
normally i'd stop and explore the entire castle, but i'm hoping there'll be time for that later...right now i'm just picking my way over to her
SHE'S TELEPORTING!!!!!!!!!!!
TRYING TO KILL MY ASS WITH MONSTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ooooh the original hyrule castle theme snuck in here.....multiple times!!!
stumbled across a korok puzzle. lol.
OOPS i fell too far and left the castle...goddammit i thought i was supposed to be going down!!! i miss the 3D map tbh
FOUND HER...the library...where her dad's diary was...wah
a HINOX??? she's gonna spawn a fucking lynel next i just know it
yooooo royal guard boots! nice
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
REDEAD
I ALMOST GOT JUMPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
god i would have preferred the lynel
her study!! waaahhh
i need to go down, but not so far down i leave the castle...i can't figure out what to do >:(
FOUND IT. wah the barracks or whatever
HER VOICE IS SO CREEEEPYYYYY
omg wait aaaa the MUSIC changed..............it's HER SONG!!!
oh i see. four fights for four fake zelda...just like the objectives in any other dungeon lol. cleverly hidden, i nearly missed it
THE ROOM WHERE I FOUGHT GANON..............NO THANK YOOOOOU
oh god okay here i go!!!!!!!!
dont be a lynel dont be a lynel dont be a lynel
oh! a cutscene!
WHAT
THE
FUCK
WHATS GOING ON...IS THIS TIME TRAVEL...WHAT DID SHE DO
ive got my sword out mentally. knife emoji. i hate this little freak gimme back my GIRL
"does it bring back memories" IM GONNA KERMIT
GANONDORF????????????? DEHYDRATED VERSION?????????????
Y'ALL SWORE TO ME THIS WAS NOT ENDGAME SHIT.......................
"did my puppet entertain you" PUPPET ZELDA PUPPET ZELDA HE SAID THE THING
PHANTOM GANON????????????????????????????????????????????
oh god oh god oh god at LEAST i didnt have to do the hands first!!!!!
god by the way i like matt mercers dehydrated ganondorf voice SO much better bc he is doing a thing to make him sound less like matt mercer. he should do that all the time
PHASE TWO DISABLED MY SAGES?!?!?!?!?!!?
oh my god...oh my god...phase 1 was fun like me & the gang vs ganondorf...but now hes HARDER and im ALONE!!!!!!!
omg you can reduce the sludge and they wake up but then it gradually creeps up again 😭😭😭 thats so cool and also SCARY!!!! somebody come hold my hand
it keeps telling me the master sword is low on energy, but it also keeps not running out because it keeps GLOWING when the malice spreads......nice. fi is unkillable thanks to zelda. she stayed a dragon 10,000 years for this outcome specifically
GOT HIS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD........OH MY GOD THE GANG IN PERSON...................oh my god oh my god i thot i knew everything but i still got to be surprised!!! immediately welled up wtf
"you stand before ganondorf" YES WE DO KING
the world that WAS and WILL BE AGAIN....TIME TRAVEL?????????? TIME TRAVEL????????????????????
oh a VISION!!! it's a cool vision though i HOLY SHIT HIS HORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god..................
man the way riju is the one to clock that he's not all there yet. mwah. i love gerudo girls reading him for filth
there's sooo many good weapons on the ground here after all that a true shame i can't take them all........
omg lookout landing everyone is HERE 🥺 i miss the cool music though...
oh man...everyone's reunions are great but harth noting the injuries on tulin and how he's been doing more than his fair share...HE IS A BABY!!!
"and the princess was an impostor" FINALLY we get there
"so she's REALLY in the distant past!!!" oh my FUCKINGGGG god
i knew it. i knew it was mineru its GONNA be mineru
you can tell muzu you did the geoglyphs but not that zelda is a dragon...CMON
well well speak of She...she's flying over the great plateau right about now!
since i have only the vaguest idea of what to do about the fifth sage im gonna farm some parts and then call it quits for now
okay, i did it. i will now be lying down for the next 6,000 business years.
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The Brothers reaction when MC slaps their ass
Lucifer
As usual, Lucifer listened to some classical music and poured himself a glass of wine to relax a bit.
Once he was done, he brought the glass to his lips and took a sip, savoring the taste.
"Mhm," he hummed to the sound of the melody and blissfully closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet moment he was having.
Much to his dismay, you entered his office without making yourself noticable.
Now dont get me wrong, he loves enjoys your company.
But not when your main goal is to tease him.
An thats exactly what you were doing.
You grinned mischievously as you slowly crept up to him, his back turned to you.
Since he was in his own state of mind, he didn't noticed anything.
That was until you reached your hand out.
In that milisecond, Lucifer's senses were tingling and his eyes shot open, turning around as fast as lightning.
But it was too late.
He only watched as your right hand colided with his left buttcheek, giving it a good squeeze afterwards.
Lucifer jumped and just stared at you in shock, processing what just happend.
And you just stood there with an empty expression, your eyes starring at your palm.
"Wow, your butt is actuallly softer than I thought".
Lucifer furrowed his brows in anger and shook his head.
"MC".
"Yeah?" You asked, looking up at him innocently.
Lucifer had that closed eyed smile with an dark aura surrounding him.
"Now, what made you think this was an good idea, MC?".
You shrugged and slowly walked backwards, shivering nervously "I dont know.. I was just curious?"
"Curious?" He met up with your steps and tilted his head to the side, his smile never leaving
He became dangerously close, making you more nervous than you already are.
You felt your back hitting the wall and your eyes widened.
Oh lord...
Lucifer slammed his palm beside your head, caging you.
You flinched and looked to the ground, feeling suddenly so tiny under him.
Lucifer cupped your cheek and made you look back up at him, a sadistic smile on his lips.
"Such inappropriate behavior should be punished, MC"
I leave the rest up to your imagination.
Mammon
Mammon was walking beside you as always, being practically attached to your hip (nothing new).
You guys were at R.A.D on your way to the cafeteria, since it was break time.
The greedy demon beside you rambled about that new scheme to make money, and you once again had to talk him out of it.
"Ya! It aint a dumb idea!" He protested.
"It is Mammon. Just think about Lucifers reaction and the consequences," you shook your head "Want to hang from the ceiling that bad?".
Mammon only scuffed, turning his head to the side.
You glanced over to him and noticed a visible pout on his lips, making him look like a child.
"Hey, Mammon".
"Hm?" He looked over at you "What's up?".
You raised your hand and reached over for his bottom, smiling sweetly at him.
"Cheer up".
He was about to question you, but before he could even start his sentence, you cutted him off with a real loud smack on his ass.
Mammons stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes widened in shock "W-what?".
Once realisation kicked in, his face flushed in an intsant.
"O-oi, human! Whats the big deal slappin' my butt like that?!". He yelled at you, looking like a fricking tomato.
You couldnt help but let out a few chuckles, highly amused by his reaction.
"Ya! It aint funny!"
Thanks to his loud voice, the whole hallway now knew what just had happened.
Leviathan
Leviathan walked down the stairs to the dining room.
He was really excited because he finally got his hands on the new Ruri-chan merchandise that came out.
"Woaah! I cant believe I got that limited edition figurine!, its SO rare and the new outfit- its just soo angelic-"
Levi being caught in his own ramblings didnt noticed that you were walking beside him.
"And that new hairstyle! I cant believe Ruri-chan could get even more cuter than she already is-"
"Say Levi, to who'm are you talking to?"
"WAh!", Levi jumped slightly at the sound of your voice and almost tripped over his own foot.
"Wha- MC!? How long have you been here!?"
You smiled at him and grabbed his shoulder for support, preventing him from falling down the stairs.
"There there, calm down. I didnt heard much".
Levi let out an sigh of relief and turned to you.
"Yeah right, I mean who would want to listen to an yucky otaku like me?".
You facepalmed in your mind and sighed, he really needs more confidence.
Leviathan kept walking and pitying himself, mumbling random stuff.
He has such a negative mindset.
You walked up behind him not thinking much.
But then you stared at his head and then his back,
Eventually your eyes landed on his bottom.
You smirked to yourself as you just ran past him, giving his butt a hard and loud smack.
Levi yelped in surprise and stood still, overwhelmed with what just had happened.
His hand grabbed his right buttcheek and rubbed it, being too shocked to react.
You turned around and waved at him. "Damn Levi, you really got an nice butt there! Im soo jealous!"
You then disapperaed in the dining room.
Levis brain needed a whole minute to process what just had happened.
And then he became a stuttering mess.
"M-M-MC! W-what was that now?!, h-hey wait!" He hid his flushed face behind the back of his hand as he stumbled after you.
Ngl he was kinda happy you touched him.
Satan
Satan was on kitchen duty, cooking his curry.
He invited you to join and help, so you guys could spend some time together.
And theres no way you would ignore that chance.
So here you were beside him, giving him the ingredients he asks for and making some small talk.
"Did you know that Beel almost ate my hair in his sleep?" You sighed "Im lucky im not bald".
Satan glimpsed at you and raised his eyebrow, shaking his head, "His hunger really doesnt know its limits".
He looked up, "Well speaking of sleep, I had an unpleasant dream last night."
You handed him the spoon and nodded "What was it about?"
Satan sighed, "Beel ate too much and grew to be a giant. He then ate the House of Lamentation, leaving the rest of us homeless".
You laughed, "Why do I have a feeling that could actually happen?"
Satan frowned "He already eats plates, its only a matter of time until he starts eating the walls".
You chuckled, intending to jokingly slap his arm.
But since you werent focused on what you were doing, you didnt notice how your slap landed right on his butt.
Satan dropped the spoon he was holding and looked at you with wide eyes.
"What are you doing?"
You turned to him with an confused expression "Did I do something wrong?"
Satan cocked an eyebrow and leaned his head to the side "You just slapped my butt".
Now its your turn to look at him with wide eyes. "I did what now?".
Satan didnt knew if you were joking or not, and it was kinda ticking him off.
"My butt. You slapped it".
"No I only slapped your arm- ohh wait..." you chuckled.
"What is so funny?" He asked you with furrowed brows.
"Sorry Satan, I wasnt focusing on what I was doing and accidently slapped your butt instead of your arm," You shrugged "My bad".
Satan nodded and turned back to what he was doing "Next time be more careful, or I will return the gesture".
You smirked and leaned over to him "I wouldnt mind that".
He will remember that.
Asmodeus
Asmo was having a mid-life crisis.
He was on one of his diets, because his waist gained 1 millicentimeter.
You assured him that a little more weight always looks good and healthy but he wont listen.
So here you were infront of him, eating one of his favorite Cupcakes.
"MC darling, why do you have to torture me like that?"
He whined "Its not faair!"
You just shrugged "I have another cupcake left for you, but since you're on your little 'diet' I will give it to Beel."
He sighed and dropped his head on the table "Does my pain bring you pleasure?".
You frowned "I-"
Asmo gasps and sat back up straight. "Dont tell me your into that stuff?, Wow!"
He smiled and wiggled in his chair.
You sighed and shook you head "Asmodeus, stop".
He pouted "You're no fun..".
After some time you finally finished the cupcake and Asmodeus had reached his limit.
He watched as you stood up and walk towards to the kitchen.
"Wait, what are you doing?" He also stood up and followed you.
"I will bring the cupcake to Beel-"
"No, wait!" he grabbed your wrist and stared at you.
You looked back at him "What is it, Asmodeus?".
He glimpsed to the side "I dont want him to eat my cupcake.."
You clicked your tounge and pulled him towards you, making him stumble to the side
"What are you doi- AH!" He moaned yelped in surprise as you slapped his ass.
"Just eat that damn Cupcake. Its not like you will gain 10kg from it".
He blushed "Oooooh MC! That really made me excited! How harsh you pulled my wrist-"
You just let go of him and left the room.
"MC where are you going?, you cant just leave me here!"
Beelzebub
Beelzebub asked you to keep him company while working out.
And of course you said yes.
So now you sat there, on the bench with a towel in hand, enjoying the view infront of you.
Beelzebubs biceps flexed as he lifted weights, and his white tanktop was drenched in sweat, making it transparent.
His abs showed through the fabric and you blushed.
How can this man be so big and muscular?
You blinked when he stopped his workout and laid the weights back down.
He grabbed his bottle from the floor and drank from it, taking big gulps.
You decided to stand up and walked over to him.
"Hey, Beel"
Beel lowered the bottle from his mouth and smiled at you "Hey, MC!"
You smiled back, and held the towel in your hand out to him, "Here take this".
"Thanks" He nodded at you and grabbed it, wiping the sweat on his face away.
"So, how is the workout going so far?" You asked couriously.
"Im still warming up" he replied.
You blinked, Still at warming up, huh?.. impressive.
"But im starting to feel hungry..." Beel pouted.
You laughed "You can do it Beelzebub, I believe in you".
He blushed and smiled at you "Thanks, MC!"
So cute.
You nodded and patted his shoulder "Sure".
Beel proceeded to start his warm up again, starting with some sit-ups.
But you had other plans.
"Beel wait!" You ran up to him.
He stopped what he was doing and looked over at you "What is it, MC?"
Before he could fully turn his body to you, he felt a stinging sensitation on his butt.
He looked at you startled, now realising you slapped it.
"Wow Beel, your buttcheeks are pretty hard.. are they made of iron or something?" You hold your hand up to your face.
Beel blushed slightly, not knowing what to do or say.
You just shrugged and turned around, marching towards the bench you were sitting on.
But suddenly, you felt a light clap on your own butt.
You gasped, "What-, Beel?!" You looked behind you and saw him standing there, smiling.
"Your butt feels really soft and nice, MC". he chuckled, "Is that a human thing to do?"
"Beel no-"
Belphegor
Belphegor was taking a nap in the attic, skipping the student council meeting.
And since you were coming late to the meeting due to some complications, Lucifer ordered you to search for Belphie and bring him there along with you.
And thats how you ended up infront of the attic, clearly annoyed.
"Belphegor," you spoke as you opened the door "I know you're in here".
The youngest brother laid on the bed, snoring and cuddling into his cow pillow.
You walked over to him and shook him "Hey Belphegor! Wake up!"
He stirred in his sleep and furrowed his brows.
Eventually he opened one eye and glimpsed at you. "What is it?"
"Lucifer wants me to bring you to the council meeting" you explained.
"Too bad, I wont go" he closed his eyes again. "Why dont you join me?"
"No," you shook your head, "Please, stand up".
He groaned "No, I dont want to go".
Thats it
You grabbed Belphegor by his arms, and turned him on his stomach.
His eyes shot open "Dah! W-what, hey-"
You raised your hand and slapped his ass, the sound of it echoing through the room.
Belphegor jumped and sat up straight, looking at you in disbelief.
"What was that for?!" He blushed
"You should stand up," you crossed your arm over your chest "I asked you nicely but you wont listen".
"Alright..," He closed his eyes "I will go"
You nodded "good"
But before you could turn around, Belphegor grabbed your wrist and laid you over his lap, his hand resting on your butt.
You blushed when you realised what he was doing,
You tried to escape, but his grip on you was too tight.
"Heheh," he chuckled "Time for payback".
"B-belphegor-" you were interrupted by his hand squeezing your left cheek slightly, making you shiver.
Belphegor raised his hand and striked an direct slap on your butt.
He expected you to squeak cutely, but instead a loud moan left your lips.
You quickly sat up and covered your mouth, an massive blush on your face.
Belphegor stared at you with wide eyes,
But after a few seconds he smirked.
"Didnt knew you're into that stuff," he teased you "Im not complaining though".
You just hid your face in his shoulder, too embarassed to look up "Dont tell anyone about this..".
Belphegor chuckled and patted your head "I wont, that would ruin the fun".
He will still tease you about it tho, but just when you guys are alone.
#obey me#obey me fanart#obey me mc#obey me!#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me leviathan#obey me belphegor#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#mammon x reader#satan x reader#lucifer x reader#obey me shall we date#obey me masterlist#obey me fandom#obey me fanfic#asmodeus#belphegor#belphegor avatar of sloth#beelzebub#leviathan#leviathan x mc#obey me brothers#lucifer#mammon#om! satan#satan#satan avatar of wrath
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Now avaleble on AO3 ive never posted on tumblr before do bear with me
Feardusk
This is a fanfic based on LinkedUniverse AU, this is my first public fanfic, i make these for fun so if something doesn’t make since im not as experienced as others so bear with me. I might post more as i have been making up some lu stories for about 4 or 5 years daily…
This fanfic was inspired by The Living Toumbstone’s ‘This Comes From Inside’. I took a few quotes from the song and some scenes from the music video, but with my own twist on it :)
Enjoy :D
Feardusk
Its a dark and cold night, the hero of the wild is traveling alone in the woods for a breather, he walks slowly to the location he is trying to reach; a nearby pond to wash up and calm himself down. He’s halfway there when its starts pouring rain.
“Oh great. Now theres another thing agents me…. Nature…” he exaggerates. He picks up speed and try’s to find shelter. Nothing but trees… ‘that will have to do for now…’ he thinks, getting nostalgia at the thought of taking shelter under a tree, reminding him of when he practiced in the rain with the princess at his side, venting about her troubles to him. He is shocked back into reality when he hears a lightning strike. Hastily, the hero runs under the closest tree and puts his hood on. He leans up agents the tree and watches the rain.
Time passes, and the rain hasn’t let up, ‘strange… the rain should have let up by now’ he reaches to get his slate out to check the weather. SNAP! he jumps at the sound pulls a dagger out. The hero looks around for any kind of life could have stepped on the branch.
“Nothing…” he mumbles to himself. ‘Thats strange, how could that-“ he thinks to himself while looking around. SNAP!! This time it was insanely loud and came from above him, the hero glanced up to see a huge tree branch falling closer and closer to him at rapid speeds. before he could react, everything goes black.
Everything’s a blur, Wild hears nothing but the soft drizzle of the rain, and… ringing…. ‘Thats- thats never…. good….’ The hero thinks. oh how hard it is for him to think right now! He checks his surroundings from his position on the floor, his vision is vague and blurred making it difficult to check his surroundings. ‘all alone in the woods… you can easily get ambushed in this… situation…’ he thinks to himself. the right side of his head and shoulder hurt with a burning force like being crushed by a boulder as he tries to sit up so he can properly check his surroundings.
Wild tries to stand up but the pain quickly stops him. The hero falls down to his knees. he was hurting, yes, but he needed to get back to camp and there was no possible way he would be heard if he yelled for one of the boys to come help him, so he would have to go on his own. And… walk there…. Himself….
After what felt like endless walking, Wild stops ‘maybe i.. can rest here….. for.. maybe a few minutes…?’ He thinks to himself and decides to rest under another tree he starts to make his way over there when Wild hears rustling from behind him, he sharply turns around, a bit too fast, and topples over, his hair whipping his face in the process. he looks up to see two glowing eyes. Seeing this makes him pull back out the dagger with his left hand, as his right is still hurting from being hit by the branch, and he holds it up towards the figure.
“Show yourself!” He yells with the upmost courage he can muster “or else!”
"Its only me" someone says quietly in a soothing yet unnatural voice. "You dont have to worry, you're safe, well… In a way..”
Wild pauses, and the closer the figure gets, the more recognizable it is.
“Four?” Wild says as his friend appears from the shadows
"Its me your friend, dont you recognize a friend" he says in a voice as if he was being fed the words “Well yes but-“ Suddenly the woods caught on fire. ‘WHAT!?! WHATS GOING ON!?!’ Wild thinks, he sees more red figures and starts panicking. He looks around as all the figures step closer, slowly revealing their true identity, its the rest of his brothers, they have surrounded him and are closing in. The traveler steps up first to speak.
"See this. You're the cause of all this. The fire, is what is going to destroy the woods, kind of like how you destroyed the kingdom of Hyrule, is it not?” The traveler says “you’re the reason it all happened, if you hadn't failed things would've turned out differently, your ‘precious’ friends would’ve never died" his friend said Wild starts to look down as if darkness started to fill the area, nothing but a black void and fire now. "Its all your fault! everything is a problem. Because of you and your pitiful mistake!" the rancher said as they surround him
"Because you made it that way" the hero of legends says
"NO!" Wild said as he tried to stay brave through the fire slowly closes in on them, the heat rising and causing the champion the sweat
"You have brought shame to our title." Four says
“No… please” he cries as he moves his left arm up to his head with his right rested over his torso "How is it that all of us prospered, yet you are the only one to have failed" Sky says that one hit him like a brick! Wild stands there in shock, he always had been wondering about this since before he even met the other boys… how did they know how to get in his head!?!
‘No.. i cant let them get to my head’ he tries to talk himself out of it He looks around for any way to get out or at least keep his mind off the negative comments from his brothers, when he realizes he can maybe use his ice rod to put the fire out. Wild reaches into his bag, nothing? Strange… the bag must’ve been emptied… he snaps back to this new ‘reality’ when the Old Man speaks up
"You had five years to prepare, but you just threw it all away cause things went off track. You let your feelings get the best of you" Time says, his voice raging over the fire
"you guys are supposed to be on my side, not against me!" Wild says choking on the smoke from the fire.
"Who said we were ever on your side!?!" Leg says "Vou MEAN NOTHING TO US" his voice starts sounding not of a humans voice but as a monsters, the champion notes this. ‘Well theres no way these are my siblings, there words dont matte-‘ his thoughts are interrupted with a short “but they do” coming from the Captain
"Think of all the innocent lives lost because you couldn't stop the calamity, i would be ashamed to have you as my student" Captain says his eyes glowing red with fury "NO I CANT BELIEVE YOU!!!" Wild outrages in attempt to get them to stop "But you do" the youngest says “We know you do, and why would we lie, we are just stating facts, sharing wisdom" "why should I listen to any of you" Wild says in a deep almost growl voice, adding extra sass in the ‘you’ part. "Were your family, you must always listen to your family" the youngest answers, a red glow coming from his eyes as they all close in, leaving the hero of the wild no chance of escaping them
“You’re not my family!! A family does not discourage each other!! they BUILD YOU UP AND ENCOURAGE YOU!!!!” He starts getting furious at the others
"How would YOU know you cant even REMEMBER yours!!" "Were just stating facts" someone shouts, all voices are the same at this point "why are you putting my family in this" Wild says in a really deep growling voice "You failed them, they blame you for the fall too, all that training just for you to fall in the end" The champion reaches for his sword, forgetting about his injury and hisses at the pain when he attempts to do so. ‘Well i guess if i cant fight with my hands then i will with my words’ he thought to himself. Here goes nothing…
"YOU DONT SCARE ME!" Wild says with all the courage he has remaining. in truth, he was frightened, but he couldn’t let them see.
"im watching you"
"Every step"
"Every move"
"Watch your back"
"Its me"
"Flee now"
"Well settle this the easy way or the hard way, your choice"
" I will never flee! I've been the hero I'm supposed to be! IM the hero if you don't see that, THEN ILL MAKE YOU SEE!!" Champion yells
"The thing is, we've already won" "wh-what?” He says, his confusion talking the spotlight "Like this" someone appears from behind and pins the hero down, landing on his bad side, he shrieks at the pain and tries to move, but cant, ‘im pinned to the ground, what do i expect. im such a IDIOT!’ He tries to roll over where he has the enemy pinned down instead of him, anything to get the increasing weight off him, but to no avail. ‘Well i guess its plan B’ the champion thinks. before he can run plan B he’s interrupted "Your attacks wont work agents us" someone says
Wild hears faint sound, frantic yelling The pressure then takes a random jump from not just someone pinning him down, likely making his injuries worse, to suddenly.. nothing, he feels nothing? ‘What? A-am i dead?’ The champion thinks as he sees a blinding light and the scene fade from existence, all fading to just white.
Then he wakes up
Wild wakes up unsure of what happened, still piecing it all together as his vision returned to him. He woke to all eight of the boys hovering over him. Once he realized its them he yells in fear and tries to pull back out is dagger, when he realizes where he is. He’s back at camp, his head and arm is bandaged. He looks around to see the usual. Maybe it was just a dream? Then why does he have these injuries!?!
"ARE YOU OK!?! I TOLD THEM NOT TO BE SO ROUGH ON YOU!! THEY JUST DIDNT LISTEN!!” Wind says Wild just laughs at the remark
“What happened?” Wild says weakly
Twilight stepped up “We found you passed out some time after you stormed off… while me and Wars were fighting… You were just in the middle of nowhere, and your head was bleeding, we didn’t see any monsters nearby. So we thought-“
“I… a.. tree hit me, n-no big deal…”
“Well were glad your safe, no matter how it happened.” Time says
“Maybe next time just dont storm off” Warriors says
“Oh hush, you dont want to start this up again now DO YOU?” Twilight yells “we have other problems to deal with right now” “Fine if you insist” Wars says in a mockingly tone
“Now, Champion, rest, its been a long day and im sure you- all of you, are exhausted” time says as the others oblige.
“Goodnight everyone…”
#linkeduniverse#lu fanfiction#tloz#zelda fanfiction#legend of zelda#breath of the wild#linked universe wild#nightmare#Im terrible with arguments/insults#Did anyone spot the TCFI refrences?#The start of the nightmare where wild is surrounded and being thrown insults refrences the “long time ago” part#the fire refrenced “you set fire to the kingdom”#I literally made twi say “everything is a problem” from the lyrics lol
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Headcanons of Krel living on earth because he’s my favorite and I love him and I haven’t seen anyone do this yet so I feel like I have to
^^^^^because of this very moment I love the idea of Mary and Darci befriending Krel.
Since Aja,Vex and Eli went back to Akaridion-5, Mother was destroyed, and Claire was busy with Trollhunting stuff, earth gets pretty lonely. So Mary and Darci adopt him into their friend group.
At first Krel was a little apprehensive to joining their friend group, but he quickly warmed up to it because, he, being Krel, loves the attention.
like I can totally see Mary and Darci taking Krel to like a mall or something and doing those like teen romcom movie shopping montages where he goes into a changing room and the girls judge the outfit until they find the perfect one.
I personally believe Krel would adopt a soft boy look, with like oversized button ups and t shirts tucked into jeans, but thats just me.
anyway, because he’s friends with Mary and Darci, Krel has a new found social popularity in Arcadia.
because of this, Krel would prolly get nominated for Spring Fling king and shit
I would say Krel wouldn’t really care about being nominated, but seeing how he cared so much about the science fair and the Battle of the Bands, he would definitely care
Steve is conflicted because he wants to be Spring Fling King, but he can’t mess with Krel like he did with Jim and Eli cause Krel is his girlfriend’s brother
Krel notices this and takes advantage of it to mess with Steve and actually tries to win.
like Krel would just dominate the contests, and his theme presentation would be the flashiest and most appealing and people would just generally like him, and that would really worry Steve
like Krel, with four arms would be really good at the Touch-a-Truck-athon or whatever its called.
Krel would prolly let Steve win anyway because watching Steve squirm and freak out over prolly losing the crown and not being able to do anything about it cause he's Aja's brother is much better than any highschool dance crown
also the school 100% asks Krel to DJ future dances and events to save money, and Krel absolutely loves it
He would also definitely do the school play. Seeing how much he enjoyed being in Toby and Eli's short film, and again, he loves the attention, he would totally be down
Also it would just be another chance to mess with Steve to be the lead.
Because of this, Ms. Janeth would do another Shakespearean play, but do one of those modern renditions. Like it's the same play just in a modern setting, to take advantage of Krel's Akaridion form like they did with Jim's armor.
If not in the play he would do stage crew/tech.
Like he would create elaborate settings for them using A5 tech and Ms. Janeth would adore it
moving on, because home life is pretty lonely with just the Lucy and Ricky for company, Krel loves to host his friends for parties and sleepovers and whatever
and since Krel lives in the coolest house on the block, they love coming over
He hosts girl’s night every other week with Mary, Darci, and Clarie (becauuse she deserves a fucking break)
since we’ve all agreed that Krel is 100% a gaylien, I love the idea that he casually comes out during a girls night
like Mary would be like “So Krel, are there any girls you like?” and Krel’s just like, “*snort* Girls? Who ever said I like girls?” and the others are like “….....?“ and Krel just rolls his eyes and says "I like boys, ladies” and they’re like “ooooohhhh, okay. Cool.”
So now they spend girls night talking about boys. Claire and Darci about their mans and Mary and Krel about cute boys.
One day the girls give Krel a little rainbow pin and Krel’s just like “what’s this?” And the girls tell him that it’s an earth symbol for the gays and he’s like “theres a symbol for that here? I didnt think it was that big of a deal. On A5 it’s pretty normal” and the girls explain why theres a symbol and he’s like “oh shoot wow, thanks" and he put it on his backpack.
He’s pretty confused the first time someone is homophobic towards him cause like that kind if behavior doesnt happen on A5 and hes just like, “why does this bother you? I hardly know you” and just brushes it off. Its doesnt really bother him, mainly cause he doesnt know the earth insults towards gay people so he doesn’t even realize, but if the girls (or Toby, or even Steve, too) catch anyone being homophobic towards their friend they will attack that asshole on sight. Especially Mary and Steve
Random person on the street: Ha, *slur*
Marry: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM BITCH???
Krel: Marry its fine, it’s not that big of a dealoHSEKLOSANDGAYLENMARYGETOFFOFHIM
Marry: SAY IT AGAIN ASSHAT, I D A R E YOU
Claire and Darci: *trying to hold Mary back* maRY NO
Steve: THATS MY NINJA KICKING SPACE ANGEL GIRLFRIEND'S BROTHER BUTTSNACK I'LL END YOU
Toby: *now chasing after Steve to stop him* stEVE NO
Mary would 100% find out who the rando is and destroy their life on social media. Like she would leak their job, phone number, email, school/college (if applicable) to her thousands of followers and absolutely ruin them with no remorse. And honestly, good for her
Also whilst on the subject, Krel can not drive or cook for 2 reasons: 1. Hes gay and 2. He’s a prince so he’s never had to do either before
Like he can obviously do math but that’s it.
Proof? That one scene in Wizards when Douxie had him drive the airship. You know the one.
Coach Lawrence refuses to get in a car with him at Drivers Ed after the 3rd day Krel shows up.
Krel gets addicted to sugary coffee shop-esc drinks thanks to Darci. Not coffee cause we saw in 3Below Part 1 that he doesnt like coffee, but refreshers, coolattas, frappuccinos etc…? Definitely.
As for warm drinks, he’s more of a tea person.
Moving on
He face calls Aja everyday because he really misses her
He tells her all about school and his friends and whatever and Aja tells him about the changes she’s making to the A5 government
Thanks to the wormhole they visit each other often. Sometimes Steve tags along cause he misses his ninja kicking space queen angel girlfriend. (And Eli, but that's also for another post)
They take turns housing Luug.
Krel genuinely loves it on earth, but he hates the primitive technology so he begs Aja to send him supplies and materials for his projects.
He would 10000% apply to HexTech for an after school job. Seeing his reaction to HT in Wizards and the fact that “Akaridion tech and magic are so compatible”, he would be the perfect addition to the HT staff.
The Wizards wouldn’t be sure at first but after he shows them A5 tech and Douxie’s email of recommendation about the time loop thing they made together, the wizards are like “oh yeah we definitely keeping this kid. This is going to be so much fun.”
Their inventions become more and more extravagant because Krel can and he's just extra and the wizards love it.
He would definitely find a way to use magic using A5 tech. But he would have to study magic in order to figure out how, so the wizards help him learn all about magic. And since he's learned everything there is to learn about science and technology and whatever, he's super excited to learn about something completely different and interesting. The wizards are happy to teach him. He would be the first Akaridion to learn and use magic
Like he would make his own staff with his serrator and everything. He's like "earn a staff? Nah fuck that going to make my own"
Speaking of which he really likes human swear words. But he doesnt know when it is and isn't inappropriate to say these swear words so he's gotten in trouble a few times for swearing at the wrong time
For example:
Ms. Janeth: excuse me Mr. Tarron?
Krel: what the fuck do you want?
Everyone in the room: krEL NO
Anyway, back to Krel at HT, thanks to Toby, he would definitely have a bowl of candy in his little lab. More like multiple jars of different candy just scattered around the room. Small candy like fun sized chocolate and skittles and jelly beans and whatever
And a mini fridge, of course.
Steve, Toby and Arrrgh come over to the lab alot to mess around.
Toby has a lot of sci-fi requests for Krel to make
Toby: do you think you can make a shrink ray? Laser blasters? Invisible ray? My own hoverboard? My own serrator *gASP* WITH A WARHAMMER SETTING???? WITH SPACE ARMOR TO MATCH???!!!???!
Krel: Toby you already have a warhammer and armor why do you need more?
Toby: I dont have a space warhammer and armor Krel!!!!!!
Going back to school life, I feel like Krel would take an interest in Spanish class. I mean, his human form is latino and in Trollhunters (I'm pretty sure the lightning in a bottle episode) he said "Si" in response to a question someone asked him, so I feel like he would like to learn another human language.
I also feel like he would just like to learn about Latin American culture in general since Mother gave him that form. He'd like to get in touch with his human self.
Claire (when she isnt busy Trollhunting with Jim and the gang) is happy help him learn about Latin American culture and help him with his Spanish.
Krel, being a fast learner, becomes fluent quickly with a perfect accent.
Señor Uhl, who already liked the Tarrons to begin with, would really appreciate this.
Claire's dad would also appreciate this.
Since he has such a fascination with human music, Krel would especially love Latin American music. Specifically reggaeton, since its kind of like techno music in a way and he already likes techno music.
And naturally, he learns to dance. All the styles of latin american dances. And he becomes quite the favorite on the dance floor.
He and Claire become great dance partners cause they both have the natural Latino rhythm and because Jim respects and trusts his girlfriend he doesnt mind them dancing together at parties and stuff
Although, Jim does ask for dance help at some point cause it looks like fun and he wants to dance with his beautiful talented incredible amazing gf and Krel is happy to teach him and anyone else who wants dance help.
GUITAR LESSONS with Douxie cause in 3Below Krel said he really wanted to learn how to play guitar, steals Shannon’s guitar from the bonfire and is seen multiple times strumming it throughout the series. So of course this is included.
Toby introduces Krel to YouTube and Krel instantly makes his own channel.
of course his channel is called DJ Kleb and he posts his tracks and remixes. and maybe even some vlogs
its a little slow at first, only Arcadia Oaks students are subscribed to it but Mary blows it up by posting one of Krel’s tracks on her own social media and now he has thousands of subscribers
he also gained other forms of social media like Instagram and Tiktok, platforms to post his music
At this point every girl in school wants to be friends with Krel but not in the toxic GBF (gay best friend) way, girls just genuinely think he's 10x more interesting than every other boy in Arcadia Oaks
I think that's it for now sorry this is really long I just really love Krel and I had so many ideas. Feel free to add on!!
#tales of arcadia#krel tarron#toa krel#3below#toa 3below#3below krel#Trollhunters#toa trollhunters#jim lake junior#jim lake jr#james lake jr#james lake junior#toby domzalski#toa jim#toa toby#claire nuñez#toa claire#wizards#tales of arcadia wizards#toa wizards#Toa Douxie#tales of arcadia douxie#hisirdoux casperan#toa hisirdoux#toa aja#aja tarron#3below aja
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Convo from the 18+ discord about a very silly star wars crossover I wanted to share.
gremgeous the gem pillar Just had a GREAT idea for a star wars crossover Just dipper visiting the star wars universe for whatever reason (multiverse vacation maybe? Idk. Dipper maybe dusted off that old portal in a fit of nostalgia or smth) and palpatine finds him and tries to tempt alcor to his side by offering him power Standard stuff for the sith really Except Well If you offer a demon unspecified power, in what form are they going to take it if not in the one who is offering's soul? Biggest and best tasting power boost there is, really! And then maybe he takes over the empty shell of a body afterwards which may or may not grant him force acess and alcor has a grand old time making a mess out of running the republic (or at least running lose in the senate) This is like... early prequals or pre-preauals era maybe. When palpafucker is still undercover and being all covert and unsuspicious and stuff I call this.... "palpatines penechance for grand speeches and unspecific ominous statements to try and seem all powerful and cool and dramatic fuck him over" Or in shorter terms ... . "There's a demon lose in the senate" And it basically runs like that one john mullaney bit With a side dashing of that one journak 3 thing where bill posesses a guy, messes with a roman army and then makes a guys head explode Also like nobody knows who alcor is or that hes even there bc theres no demons or dream demons in star wars (that i know of) so he gets the run of the place Even moreso than back home in gravity falls bc no one knows magic, its all "force this" and "force that" Dippered probably spends a lot of time nerding out over the different alien species since they dont have those back in his dimension (theyve got aliens but theyre different kinds) and also about the laser swords (just like the one Grunkle Ford made for them all (Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Grenda, Candy, Grendas boyfriend, Pacifica, and even waddles and gompers) back in 2017! Good times, good times.)
swbeeworm oh this sounds like fun
gremgeous the gem pillar Right???
swbeeworm if i was familiar enough with the star wars universe to write anything in it i'd give this a shot
gremgeous the gem pillar right???
swbeeworm like i know star wars?? but i don't know star wars n i have to know something to be confident in writing it
gremgeous the gem pillar Sadly everything i know comes from time travel fixit and semi-salty pro-jedi meta
swbeeworm but just.... the sheer chaotic potential of this...
gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh yes....... Oh its be so good..........
swbeeworm oh mood it would be
gremgeous the gem pillar @Abigor u like star wars too gimme ur thooooughts When ur awake and have them to give
swbeeworm ugh i should. probably not be awake, i have stuff to do tomorrow n i have a headache but this is fun to think about
gremgeous the gem pillar I had another thing thats fun to think abt too Clone wars era, alcors there and everyon thinks hes a brand new sith player b/c gold eyes
swbeeworm just the shenanigans. the bullshittery. the sheer what-le-fuck reactions of everyone from the senate to the jedi to the people ooooooooo
gremgeous the gem pillar YES!!! Exactly.
gremgeous the gem pillar Oooooh jedi can do mind things i wonder what alcor wpuld feel like to them
swbeeworm my first instinctive responses were: 1) constant Screaming and a whirlwind mishmash of colors/concepts/etc that makes everyone who 'looks' too long start bleeding thru the nose/eyes 2) wii music on loop and these are VERY different prompts to have back to back but that's what i got
gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHSGGSHD I LOVE IT Oh what if its both at the same time Ajdhegdhdj what rven is the music like in star wars anyway
swbeeworm the fkin,,,, cantina music
gremgeous the gem pillar Like how would they react when confronted w wii music
swbeeworm is the equivalent i would think
gremgeous the gem pillar Do they even have the same sorts of instruments do they even know what electronic music is
swbeeworm just. that spawned another Thought imagine that the cantina music from That One Scene is the sw-equivalent of the wii music and just. just imagine that same scene playing but with wii music on loop in the background
gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh "wii music on loop" i love it AODHDHSHSJD
swbeeworm it would probably FIT they have the same vibe
gremgeous the gem pillar Im crying Mits so good
swbeeworm sdjlksdafj i saw a post the other day that was talking abt the music there n how it kept playing on loop n the poster joked that it might have been like,, the john mulaney salt-pepper-diner-story situation which is only tangentially related to this topic but i had to recall it
gremgeous the gem pillar AJSHH i love that Gosh ok i feel like take 1 would fit with the new sith in town scenario And take 2 fits with theres a demon lose in the senate
swbeeworm sfsdkfjh yES
gremgeous the gem pillar But how FUCKING HILARIOUS would it be if in the senate story its the former, and in the oh so serious sith story its the wii music on loop im akdhsjdvsjdhsjbd
swbeeworm ASLDJSLKFJ plEASE take 1: gritty, serious, angst, deadly miscommunications--and fucking wii music on loop take 2: lighthearted, cracky, shenanigans and bullshittery--and fucking bleeding out the eyes if you try n read the guy talk about dissonance
gremgeous the gem pillar "Big scary sith! Look at the yellow eyes! What dastardly plots cpuld he be thinking/partaking in....." [Hard cut to alcor pov/inside alcors head] wii music plays as he stares off into space during a supposedly very important meeting
gremgeous the gem pillar OH I DO LOVE THE DISSONANCE Gsjdgysgsvsjgd wheeze its so good i love it
swbeeworm me tooooo .....for the sith one. would ppl see blue fire n think lightning
gremgeous the gem pillar Theyd probably think its some other secret sith technique
swbeeworm fair enough
gremgeous the gem pillar Everyone thinks one of the other sith lines that was supposedly wiped out had it since this sith deffs aint the line of bane- even the cirrent sith wanna know where alcors popped in from "Lightning was the bane line specialty.... guess where ever this kids guys from fire was theirs"
swbeeworm= adjlsdfkjlfkjf the shenanigans n bullshittery one imagine alcor-as-palpatine just. going incorporeal, still visible but not able to be touched, and the jedi go from "what the fuck is going on" to "why the fuck is he a force ghost"
gremgeous the gem pillar AJSGSHSGSHSA
swbeeworm alcor, who'd done it only bc his ~ornate robes~ had got so caught/tangled on something he could only get free by phasing through it: ??????
gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Alcor: how the fuck did this guy move around in these AJDHSGDH ALCOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE SITH- SHOWS UP TO THE SENATE IN THE SITH ROBES
swbeeworm asdlkjsfkjsdfdf
gremgeous the gem pillar CALLS IT A "FASHION STATEMENT" WHEN CALLED OUT ON IT
swbeeworm a fASHION STATEMENT YES alcor: :blobsweats: alcor: what the FUCK is a sith alcor: and why do they have better style than the jedi
gremgeous the gem pillar WHEEZE He doesnt know jack shit abt the jedi or anything hes just vibing!!!!!!
swbeeworm yesssssss
gremgeous the gem pillar AJDGSGGDJS YOU KNOW WHATVWPUKD BE EVEN BETTER ALCOR THINKS THE SITH LOOK IS TACKY AF
swbeeworm alcor: no listen. listen. i picked these space robes out of my space wardrobe because they looked cool, not because i'm part of some. some space cult ljflskdajfslkdfjsd
gremgeous the gem pillar BUT HE STILL THINKS ITS BETTER THAN THE JEDI
swbeeworm that's even better
gremgeous the gem pillar space cult im HOWLING
swbeeworm you KNOW he'd be so excited at being in space this DORK
gremgeous the gem pillar Ph gosh imagine it starts out all dark and serious and angsty and creepy in the whole beginning exchange But as soon as the day after alcor takes up palps role hits it takes a sharp turn into crack terriotry
gremgeous the gem pillar OH HE WOULD
swbeeworm yESSSS
gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor takes one look at dooku and is like "youre the only one aroynd here with any sort of fashion sense" "And its HORRIBLE"
swbeeworm sljflskdjfsd
gremgeous the gem pillar Just roasts him And by extension everyone else too
swbeeworm dooku has NO IDEA what's going on but at this point ""palpatine"" or whatever's taken over him is ten minutes into a rant abt the layers on layers of boring robes jedi wear and at this point he'll take the backhanded compliment about his own style
gremgeous the gem pillar Akehdsjfssksgsjd
swbeeworm just to shut him up
gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHDJDGDJDHD Alco goes on a 30 minute rant on why suits are SO much more professional
swbeeworm snaps "palpatine" into a suit and goes "...except maybe for this guy idk if anything could make him look good"
gremgeous the gem pillar And its more of a backhanded insukt than a backhanded compliment but anything to shut the guy up, right?
swbeeworm how much we roasting palpatine here
gremgeous the gem pillar To a blackened crisp
swbeeworm as it should be
gremgeous the gem pillar Its better than his wrinkly old rasin look anyday
swbeeworm lskjdlsakjfdf agreed
gremgeous the gem pillar Be hard NOT to improve on that honestly But the dude sinks so low i bet hed somehow manage it
swbeeworm --alcor getting fed up w palpatine's body and just. showing up to the senate meetings, full alcor, eyes n his normal face n everything, in palpatine's robes, and when someone rightfully asks him who the hell is he, he just deadpans "i'd think by this point you'd recognize your own chancellor" and just straight insists he's palpatine (and has the knowledge to back it up) every time someone sputters
gremgeous the gem pillar Also i included the bit abt the journal 3 thing bc my saga of alcor repeating bill's patterns, behaviors, and ideas unknowlingly and without awareness that that is what he is doing shall continue >:3c
gremgeous the gem pillar AODHAJDBAKWJHEVEJDJDHSHSHSJWOWKJEHEE I LOVE IT OH HOW I LOVE OT ALSOWHSKJDISOSOAJAIW Oh gosh what if he fuckin
swbeeworm because at this point it's less about blending in and more about trolling the whole senate and being as distracting as possible because with everyone paying attention to his trolling theyre less likely to notice the bills for clone rights n abolishing slavery n such that he's pushing thru in the background misdirection at its finest
gremgeous the gem pillar I was gonna say a thing abt alcor replacing palps b4 the election and so they did elect alcor to chancelorhoood But it might be funnier if he took him over AFTER abd still says that bit abt recognizing their own chancellor Oh gosh in that secind scenario it would be hilarious if the jedi are all :blobglare: @alcor except for obi-wan who is all like "i am looking away" bc at least THIS guy (whiever the hell he is) has stopped being such a creep abt anakin
swbeeworm the jedi are sent in to figure out wtf is going on and. they, unfortunately, bewilderingly, confirm that this is the same person as the chancellor who'd been showing up recently??? same wii music/bleeding effect??
swbeeworm alcor, finding appointments with some random jedi kid on palpatine's calendar: wtf why is this creep trying to meet with a kid alone, yeah how about i cancel that
gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJD Alcor, looking at palpatibes planner: "every day i am more and more glad that i ate thig guys soul" "Like i knew it was oily but im suprised i havent got an upset stomach from it yet"
swbeeworm sjlskdfjsdf alcor the next day, after finding stuff abt the order 66 chip things, gagging: "i spoke too soon"
gremgeous the gem pillar Obi-wan to the council: hmm? Yes this is totally the chancellor, i know this because of all the previous meetings and close relationship he has had with my padawan which you allowed and helped facillitate- "Palpatine":[has a completley different body type, height, and face. Plus he actually has hair and is maybe even floating a little but its hard to be sure in those black and gold robes- and with a completely different voice] oh, yeah, totally, Im the chancellor and i totally know who this guy and that kid is yup yup yup-
gremgeous the gem pillar [UGLY LAUGHTER] AkdjskkdkdjsysAODJSJEUEIEIIEF
swbeeworm ASDKAFDF "palpatine": [grins with very sharp teeth at a nervous senator] council: "okay that is NOT normal" obi-wan, deadpan: "i'm sorry, it sounds like you're discriminating against non-human beings? that's not very jedi of you now is it"
gremgeous the gem pillar ALDHDJDHD Wait wait no what if its "This is completely normal behavior. I, as a human, know this for certain" "I can do this too, but i dont, because it is impolite, but hes the chancellor he can do whatever he wants"
swbeeworm asldksajflksdfjsdf;jsdf yes yes beautiful
gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor and obi-wan team up to be passive agressive at everyone who allowed palps and anakin to hang out ABOUT them letting an unsupervised minor chill w a suoer duper old guy Shoulda had a chaperone at LEAST Butalso
swbeeworm the other humans on the council: "uh, actually-" obi-wan: [manages to sip tea (which he shouldn't even have access to in a council meeting btw) with an aggressively polite smile and silent Threat] the other humans: "....um."
gremgeous the gem pillar "Thats not very jedi of you now is it" AODHSJSIDHALSVD IM HOWLING I LOVE IT THE SASS wheeze*
swbeeworm i live for obi-wan sass it gives me LIFE
gremgeous the gem pillar SAME oh its so good Love that one post where obj-wan is on tatooine and calls all the force ghosts to view his powperpoint presentation about how letting palps have acess to analin was a bad idea as hed been saying all along-
swbeeworm u need to know i wrote this with the "that's not very plus ultra of you" meme, which is a bnha offshoot of the "that's not very cash money of you" meme, in my head on repeat
gremgeous the gem pillar Ph him terrorizing all the people palpatine had in his pocket...... Ok this is veering into even MORE crack territory but at some poibt alcor replaces, uh, whats the dudes name, palps second in command - mess something-or-other? - with a nightmare Not just ANY nightmare But a DIFFERENT nightmare each day
swbeeworm ASDLSDFKLDJF PLEASE
gremgeous the gem pillar They took it upon themselves to go on rotation They couldn't decide who should go when alcor proposed the idea so its everyone One at a time They dont even look REMOTELY human Or like anything the galaxy has ever known or seen And theres no "secretive supernatural species" excuse for them to fall back on here lmao
swbeeworm random dude: "what is that???" alcor, cheerful: "that's my assistant" rd: "is that--is that supposed to be a sheep?" alcor: "no they're my assistant" nightmare: [sound that, if you ignore the reverb and microphone-screeching and kazoo effects, might be a "baaa"] alcor: [smiles aggressively wider with sharp teeth] rd: [sweats nervously]
gremgeous the gem pillar ALDJDKSIEJEHAJWJWHEI Obi-wan: i am still l :eyes:king away Anakin: oooh, the wool is so soft master. Come feel it! Obi-wan: really? Ooh youre right The council: ....
swbeeworm rd: "okay but this is a DIFFERENT one than yesterday right?? right???" alcor: "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about :)" obi-wan, still with tea he should not have, this time with space whiskey mixed in: "sir i think you might be seeing things, they are clearly the same individual as yesterday"
gremgeous the gem pillar Mace: ...hrm it is quite soft- The rest of the council: ??? When did he get-
gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHDHD JUST LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH ALDJDHFJF
swbeeworm obi-wan looking mace dead in the eye and chugging his spiked tea which is more whiskey than tea at this point: "how dare you accuse me of lying. me, after everything i've done for this council. i am betrayed. heartbroken. never shall trust again. i am leaving until i recover" -and promptly fucks off on a vacation with anakin
gremgeous the gem pillar The jedi start getting a LOT more missions about busting slave rings and giving aid in the outer rim - plus some more dimplomacy docused ones in regards to solving teeaties instead of putting down rebellions
-alcor shows up on the vacation with zero explanation and obi-wan at this point is like "fuck it why not" -a nightmare takes his place in palpatine's robes in the senate for the week they're gone
gremgeous the gem pillar ALSJSHDJDJSKDHEE Weirdly enough some of the more corrupt senators go missing after that week No one knows what hapoebed to them but the robes the "chancellor" wore that week have some awfully suspicious stains WAIT WAIT WHAT IF ITS NOT A NIGHTMARE WHAT IF ITS GOMPERS alcor didn't even ASK gompers to be there he was planning to not even warn anyone n just vanish but gompers just SHOWED UP the nightmares were the ones who put the robes on him
gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor doesn't even KNOW gomoers is there He gets back after the week and is like "what the heck" The nightmares are pretty proud of themselves for that one
swbeeworm the nightmares, collectively: "this is gonna be HILARIOUS" alcor, halfway across the galaxy, sees a newsfeed of a senate meeting with gompers in the robes in his place, and spits his drink clear across the room
he's only mad because he didn't think of it in the first place
gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Hes proud of them
swbeeworm he IS
gremgeous the gem pillar Its so HILARIOUS
swbeeworm i pity anyone trying to read this mess later but i hope we at least make them laugh once
gremgeous the gem pillar Same Its such a joy Alcor teaches anakin the secret to mabel juice
swbeeworm oh no
gremgeous the gem pillar Only the children thank him The minders.... not so much
swbeeworm alcor: "okay so what i'm hearing is, the adult jedi have been making Stupid Decisions and not paying as much attention to the kids, as evidenced by them letting that one kid have meetings one on one with the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago. so, clearly what needs to happen is something that forces the adults to pay attention to the kids and start keeping a closer eye on them, but it can't be something that actually hurts the kids because then i'd feel bad" alcor: "...." alcor: :blobamused:
gremgeous the gem pillar akdhdjsgshsjhdsjdjdj
swbeeworm alcor in a totally not suspicious trench coat and sunglasses: "hey. hey, kid. you wanna try some mabel juice?"
gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJDLFKFIFJIF WHEEZE "With the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago" ALDJDBDJDJDDHDHDJDJDJDJDJDJDJSJDJEJEJE
gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSHDJDJF
swbeeworm star wars kids: "mr chancellor why are you wearing that" alcor: "because i think it's funny" kids: "it isn't" alcor: "look do you want the juice or not"
gremgeous the gem pillar I LOVE ALL OF THAT LOOK DO YOU WANT THE JUICE OR NOT
swbeeworm i am having WAY too much fun with this ldjsldkfjdsf;
gremgeous the gem pillar "Were not supposed to take drugs from strangersl" "Its not- just take it!"
Hooooh man thats so funny Oh gosh Alcor uses a different time/date system
Than the star wars one
swbeeworm ooooooo yes
gremgeous the gem pillar Nit super sure where im going with this but.... Pretty sure he woukdnt know the star wars one At all Maybe the in-umuverse knockoff calendar maybe Hes wnough of a nerd to have that memorized But the star wars proper one
No, no i dont think he knows that one
swbeeworm nope no chance
gremgeous the gem pillar Omg yes
gremgeous the gem pillar Well its a good thing we have this..... and the mistaken sith version too :blobamused:
WAIT WAIT QAIT FLASH OF INSPIRATION ALCOR GIVING ANAKIN THE STRANGER DANGER PPT
swbeeworm i have 1 scene i can think of that actually almost made my friend cry and i have 1 au scene of a different au of mine where a character who canonically dies and gets brought back to life...doesn't come back (which is extra angst bc this is a Ghost Seeing Fic) and both of these i wrote at like 3-4am
swbeeworm SDFJKSDLFSJf YES :blobamused:
gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor: "you know, i usually save this one for the kids who followed the stranger with the nice candy into the alleyway and end up as sacrifices but I feel like you could benefit from it too"
swbeeworm alcor: "no talking to suspicious ppl" anakin: "except you right?" alcor: "....in any other situation i'd say no but if i say that you're just gonna up and leave (i see that grin thanks very much) so in this one singular personal case it is fine that you trust my very suspicious self"
gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSJDJJD "My very suspicious self" Aksjdhdd
swbeeworm obi-wan, straight up knocking back shots now: "the man has a point anakin"
gremgeous the gem pillar Haha nice Obi-wan is taking notes Hes also re-inventing alcoholic mabel juice He weaseled the recipie out of the kids
swbeeworm asldfkjsdlkfjd imagine if somehow SIDIOUS CAME BACK and tries to take back over the senate but everyone at this point is used to alcor and one of two things happens: 1) they assume this is alcor messing with them with a clone/double (they don't know how he'd do it but at this point given his "assistants", the goat that somehow made more eloquent speeches than the "human", and the other things involved, they wouldn't put it past him) and just ignore him 2) they look between the real palpatine who'd been pushing thru some very sketchy bills, and between alcor who's been sneaking through law after law protecting all kinds of sentients, and they turn back to palpatine and go "how dare you impersonate the chancellor" and kick him out
swbeeworm at this point he deserves it tbh
gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHFDJDJDJD Ok i preffer him dead and gone and forgotten in favor of alcor (its what he deserves) but oh those are hilarious
swbeeworm agreed to both counts alsdjalsdk
gremgeous the gem pillar ESPECIALLY if the senate chooses to keep alcor over palps XD Ph man we can work that into him being dead and gone too- alcor starts dispersing the power and the other half of the senate w bail and padme are like "yeah seems legit" along w obi-wan The jedi only put like, a token effort into investigating and are more put out by trying to figure out what happened to the real palpatine and all his past shady dealings than exposing the current "palpatine" for a fake
swbeeworm palpatine: "excuse me?? i am the chancellor of this republic" councilmembers, with the same deadpan as alcor's been pulling on them all year: "sir, i think you're confused. this is the chancellor" [points to alcor, in palpatine's robes from his closet, making no attempt to hide his lack of resemblance to palpatine, with a nightmare at his side wearing a small top hat that proclaims its position as "chancellor's assistant"] palpatine: [screams of frustration]
gremgeous the gem pillar Once they reaize the shift in mission assignments can be attributed to new palp
gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJSJSJSBEJSJSJSHSJSKS
swbeeworm yesss this
gremgeous the gem pillar I wanna say maul gets the joy and pleasure of offibg palpatine the second time in that version
swbeeworm FINALLY they get a chance to pull one back over on someone, pass along the suffering a little bit
swbeeworm oh definitely
oh shit we've been at this for an hour
gremgeous the gem pillar Maul comes back and offs palps and evrryone is jist like "Maul!!! How?!?" And completley ignore the palpatibe corpse 2.0 Ajdhhd so we have Niiiight book
Also from a tumblr post the phrase "your pal friendpatine" is hilarious and i think yall shoukd enjoy it too As is "SOMEHOW... MAUL RETURNS" Both taken from the same post lol Okokok so switchibg tracks for a bit Revisiting Some groundwork for the mistaken sith version Alcor is there..... because al-v was there first, made friends with the droid army mid clone war, and caled his dad in to help Which puts alcors initial point of contact as the separost foot soldiers
gremgeous the gem pillar No matter what the dominant language alcor has most recently been using OH OH OH ALCOR WITH ACESS TO OTHER UNIVERSE SLANG CONFUSING ALL THE SENATE WITH HIS NONSENSICAL PHRASES AND IDIOMS AND SLANG/PROFANITY LIKE "over the moon" AND "hot belgian waffles" AND "fuck" "Palpatine": [drops paperwork he JUST spent so much time disorganizing (as in putting in a dissaray)] FUCK Senator: .... sir, what is a 'fuck' "Palpatine": ......... im not explaining that to you Or conversley he makes smth up Alcor, upon realizing the most common swear word is "kriff': yeaht hats stupid im not saying that Alcor mercilessly roasting the star wars profanity And how stupid they all sound. This one is great for the al-v and alcor make friend w a droid army and maybe-sorta steal them while massivelt confusing and mystifying everyone along the way, bc why not add a language barrier on top of all the other assumptions and misunderstandings >:D But also at the same time it would make sense for him to have got thw local language in an infodump somewhere along the line (maybe an older version) if its located in a different galaxy but the same universe........... but also what if theyre just suoer far away so he didnt get priority acess...... or even if he traveled back in time ............. [Shrug] idk Mwanwhile inexplicably having the same language is hilarious in the demon lose in the senate ons but also imagine alcor pretending to be palpatine while unable to speak the common tongue lolol I know it wouldnt work (he has to be able to understand palpatine on some level to take MASSIVE advantage of him and eat his soul) but it is hilarious to think abt the shenanigans............ OH GOSH ALCOR TAKING CONTROL OF THE SENAT BUT BEING UNABLE TO R E A D AKDBSKSKJFF Okokok Imagine the basic/english language inexplicably being the same structure w a few different words and concepts...... when spoken And completley different when written down SO ALCOR CAN SPEAK BUT HE CANT READ Meanwhile in mistaken for a sith land alcor either doesnt have any knowledge of the local language or else gets a SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLE DEAD LANGUAGE in an infodump (to help feed the misunderstandings and rumors and future clashes w the sith and the jedi hehhehheh) bc semi-omniscience is not total omniscience and so is not everything and, once again, is not very helpful But ill leave off for tonight on the thought of alcor, lose in the senate, in the seat of the chancellor, lord of all paperwork for the galactic republic....... and able to read NONE of it And barely understands it too (demons are not ones for politics, Brian the Organ Duck and his 200 year sucessful presidency run aside) (his is soemthing of the exception, not the rule.) Meanwhile all those humanitarian aid bills and the like are all being passed by bail and padmes group all over the place bc their strange and inexplicable source of resistance was devoured like, a week ago Not ones to look a gift horse in ths mouth until AFTER they get what they want the group passes a ton of bills without delay - and manages to break up a few monopolies along the way Now im not saying that "palpatine" suddenly acting off and the bills facing a lot less resistance is a noticeable coincidence...... and around the same time he stops asking after anakin ............... but im totally saying they notice it and realize its probably, absolutely, not a coincidence and theyre not going to say anything bc they like this new "palpatine" better. Despite all the other mindbending weirdness and mindfuckery going on there The jedi are only mad abt alcor bc a few of their own started bleeding from the eyes nose and ears when they tried to investigate initially so theyre a little ticked off abt that, which, fair.
Also the blantant lying and lack of trying on alcors part is a little insulting to them as a whole ("does he think we'll really fall for that") and is slightly concerning to them ("who the heck is this, someone is inpersonating the chancellor of the ENTIRE REPUBLIC-" Which is, admittedly, a little concern worthy) but if the council is honest (or some of the council anyway) with themselves its pretty much the darn best entertainmnt theyve had in a good long while, headaches aside, sot ehyll focus more on the okd palpatines dissapernace and dealings than the new "palpatine" so long as he doesnt start doing anything ACTIVELY damaging to the republic. A little mischief doesnt technically count as harm- and hey theys preffer to find the og chancellor b4 upsetting and potnetially causing the new one to do smth drastic by attsmpting to out him (not that alcor would, its so much funnier to deny everything to their faces while blatantly lying but they dont know that. So caution (and stress) it is)
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The Triwizard Tournament Has Begun...(George x Reader)
!! I have made the age restrictions of the Triwizard Tourdament 19 instead of 17, making fred and george 18!!
*This is a follow up to Welcome Beauxbatons and Durmstrang and a continuation of my ongoing story if you haven’t read the other parts and want the whole story, go back and read the other parts then come back here*
🖤I do know these in-between stories aren’t as fun as other posts, but it’s all to tell a story and I hope you enjoy them regardless🖤
------------
Once the other schools were settled and sat at their respective tables, Maxime and Karkaroff sat at the teachers table, everyone all looked at Dumbledore for the Cue to start eating, George still looking slightly jealous, after seeing the way that you looked at Viktor, was unusually quiet and Fred was the same.
“Thank you, every one, for helping me welcome these two, wonderful schools, now please, enjoy the feast” Dumbledore said. With a wave of his hand all the empty silver serve-ware overspread with food.
People begin digging into the food, talking about the triwizard tournament. People talking about wanting to join in, you, however, had no interest in being a part of this competition, besides, your grandmother would kill you if she found out you had applied for it.
You grab a couple of items of food off the table, but you’re mostly eyeing the pumpkin pie, but you didn't want to be the first person to cut it and take a slice.
Fred and George piled up their plate and began eating, talking amongst themselves.
‘‘You okay George?’‘ you asked him, furrowing your brow and slightly tilting your head to the left.
he looked up, ‘’mmmhmmm’’ he said nodding his head with his mouth half full.
Him and Fred was being seemingly quiet with you and Angelina, and you couldn't put your finger on why, maybe he was just thinking about the tournament you thought.
You turned to Angelica.
‘’So, what do you think about all this?’’ You asked, poking your fork into a piece of chicken and bringing it to your mouth.
‘‘Its okay, seems a bit silly to me bringing all these schools together not long after the attack, though’‘ she replied almost scowling at the Beauxbatons girls.
You agreed, although you didn't think the attack was the main reason she didn't want the other girls here, she was jealous, and you could tell.
‘‘If you’re mad at Fre..’‘ you began to say, but she cut you off.
‘‘i’m not, i really don’t care’‘ she said harshly.
Luckily Fred and George were having their own conversation, and didn’t hear Angelica say she didn’t care, which she did, she was just too stubborn to admit it.
It was awkward around the table now, Fred and George were talking amongst themselves, and Angelina was in a foul mood, and would only reply to you with nods, or ‘’mhm’’.
After what felt like ages, the meal was finally over, although you never tucked into pumpkin pie, it was next to Angelina and you felt too awkward to reach over her, or ask her for a slice.
‘‘Your attention, please, i would like to say a few words’‘ Dumbledores voice echo’d around the hall ‘’eternal glory, that is what awaits the student who wins the Triwizard Tournament but to do this, that student must survive three tasks, three, extremely, dangerous, tasks’’ Dumbledore continued
‘’Wicked’’ Fred and George said in unison, Fred still half chewing some food.
‘‘for this reason the ministry had seen fit to impose a new rule, to explain all this, we have the head of the department of international magical cooperation, Mr. Bartemius Crouch’‘ Dumbledore finished, turning his head to face Crouch.
Just as Crouch walked towards the podium, the ceiling began thundering and lightning, Dumbledore looked concerned, which in turn made everyone else panic, making them think of what happened at the Quidditch World Cup. People began to scream or duck down, other people stood up from the table, and then you noticed George pulled out his wand from his sleeve and look directly at you, you thought maybe in that moment, if he had to protect you, he would have.
A large man, in a brown trench coat, and what looked like an eye patch, but a glass eye where the patch would have been, took a step out of the shadows, and cast one blue streak up into the ceiling, and the elements went calm again, you didn’t recognise this man, but you heard whispers of a name ‘’mad eye moody’’
Moody walked fully out of the shadows of the back of the hall, and you wondered why he wasn’t there for the meal, but Dumbledore greeted him with open arms, and if Dumbledore trusted him, you did too.
Crouch then took the podium, and began to speak ‘’After due consideration the ministry had concluded that for their own safety, no students under the age of nineteen, should be allowed to put fourth their name for the triwizard tournament, this decision..’’ but he was swiftly cut off.
‘’THATS NOT FAIR’‘ one Hufflepuff shouted, and with that, most of the under nineteen year olds began to shout, overlapping each other, but the people you hear the most was Fred and George shouting
‘‘THATS RUBBISH
OH COME ON
THATS RUBBISH YOU CANT LET THEM DO THAT
BOO’‘
‘‘silence’‘ Dumbledore shouted across the hall, making people instantly settle down.
Fred and George were looking pissed, throwing their heads back, to look towards the ceiling, letting one loud exhale through their noses.
You felt bad for the both of them, you could tell how much they both wanted this, but you were mostly relieved as now neither of them could get hurt from these ‘’tasks’’, whatever they were.
There was a golden statue at the front of the great hall, just in front of where the teachers sat. Dumbledore traced his wand from the top of the statue, the gold seeming to melt to nothing as his wand followed the shape of the statue, revealing a large brass goblet, expelling blue flames.
‘‘The Goblet Of Fire’’ Dumbledore said, introducing the schools to what this rusty old goblet was. ‘’Anyone wishing to submit themselves to the tournament merely write their name upon a piece of parchment and throw it in the flame before this hour on Thursday night, do not do so lightly, if chosen theres no turning back, as from this moment, the triwizard tournament has begun.’’
#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#george weasely smut#george weasley fluff#george weasley x reader#george x reader#george weasley imagine#george weasley fanfiction#george weasley#fred weasley fluff#fred weasley x reader#fred x reader#fred weasley imagine#fred weasley smut#fred weasley fanfiction#fred weasley#weasley twins
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Everything at Once
Idk what im doing but I will put a Trigger warning here before anything. I wrote this to be just after the accident. There is a slight bit of panic attack in here. Its not explicitly mentioned as a panic attack but it is sensory over load paired with it so its Not Fun. Also its been YEARS since i last wrote anything so please have mercy.
His parents had taken him in to the hospital as soon as they had gotten home. He had been unconscious at the time, waking up in the hospital bed hadn’t been pleasant. It sadly wasn’t the first time that has happened to him though. He never had the best luck.
Upon waking up the first thing he noticed was how jarringly loud it was.
The beeping felt like ringing in his ears. He could hear so many voices, overlapping, speaking in hushed voices outside his door. Sounds of shoes clacking against the ground. His own breathing sounded harsh and ragged. He heard a loud, slow thumping. And nearly drowned out by it all. A quiet buzz, that reminded him of a electricy. The sounds weren’t the only thing that was overwhelming. The sheets- which he was normally perfectly fine with why are they so scratchy and uncomfortable? The walls had such strange patterns to them. The entire room looked wrong. Its never looked like this before why does it look weird.
It wasn’t until he looked down at his hands did everything come crashing in.
His left hand had a raw, burring red mark going all the way up his arm. It branched out everywhere like lightning- why does it almost look like its glowing. its glowing green. HOly shit its glowing- He felt his breathing pick up. He heard the beeping get louder and faster. The voices outside stopped talking. He couldn’t pay attention to what happened. He knew they came in to the room, he knew they went to talk to him- why were they talking to him? Why are they so loud? One seemed to notice him flinch at the sounds and lowered their voice. He never caught what they was saying. Their tone was nice. His world got blurry.
~~~~
A week had passed since the accident. Or was it two? he wasn’t entirely sure. He didn’t leave his room for much. Jazz brought him food, and so did Sam and Tucker.
He didn’t like how loud everything was around the house. He never noticed - or maybe he did- how loud that his dad was. He know he never noticed how everything seemed to make noise. All the electronics buzzed. The lights, the fridge, the computers, the tv - everything. He liked to sit in his room with the lights off. They don’t buzz if they’re off.
~~~~
The next few days were better and then much more akward.
Sam and Tucker dropped off some headphones that canceled out sound. He felt... much better wearing them. It was still loud but not as bad. However, they couldn’t help everything else that was coming up.
“I think I’m really strong.” Danny hugged his knees close.
“Are you sure that’s not just puberty-?” Sam elbowed Tucker.
“What makes you think that.”
Silently Danny slid off his bed and with ease- lifted it one handed. Bed Frame and all, with his two friends sitting on it. “Tada.”
“...Oh.”
~~~~
Almost full month had passed since the accident.
School had started the week before. And he was already banned from handling all glassware in the school. Breaking most of the science labs extra beakers on accident does that.
During lunch, he sat with his friends. Tucker had mentioned earlier that day wanting to show him something. (Danny was just glad that today seemed more normal than yesterdays arguments between Sam and Tucker. Who knew that they’d get all riled up about the lunch menu?)
“Hey Danny, do you remember Iron man?”
“...well... yeah? what about him...?” He slowly sat at the table.
Tucker just gave him the biggest grin. “Well I was blessed with an amazing idea last night. And with the power of only two red bulls, I present my idea. You can be a super hero too.”
“You cant be serious.” He deadpanned.
“He is.”
“Just watch.” Tucker pulled his phone out and handed it to Danny. “Here.”
Upon pressing play, he was met with an older video of Tony Stark in his lab. Scratch that- several videos of Tony Stark in his lab. All of them were him failing use one of the first iterations of the Iron man gear. Danny felt a small, amused smile creep onto his face.
Iron man was a hero of his. He never even considered...
“So? What do you think?”
“Tuck. Thats funny and all. But he fights big time. He’s an avenger.” Danny sighed. “Besides, theres barely any crime here-”
A shudder went through Danny’s body. Like he had just walked into a freezer. When he exhaled, it came out in a mist. “...That only happens at home by the portal-”
“Excuse me, dearies? I heard someone was trying to change the menu?”
#Danny Phantom#phandom fic#tony stark is mentioned lol#this went on LONGER than i first thought oopsie
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i can't find the zukka discord server o used to be in so i guess ill just post into the abyss here:
- high school and/or summer camp au where the gaang enters a talent show. imagining bending wouldnt exist in this universe?
- sokka is doing some fancy shit w boomerang/s like in the tiktok
- aang would 100% do some random dance thats very outdated but still grts everyone pumped
- toph and katara maybe team up to do some lowkey crime shit bc i love the idea that they learn to become the best scam duo ever
- ok lets also put sukki and her squad there doing some dangerous choreography or something
- yue would be the classically trained musician who pulls out a wicked fun and modern composition that totally surprises everyone half way through. imagining some kinda lightning quick outfit change too just bc she deserves to be dramatic af
- fire nation kids are there ofc. mai does some knife throwing, ty lee ofc does acrobatic shit that the school *definitely* did not approve but she did it anyway and it leaves everyone breathless. maybe she and mai team up? azula does some impressive martial art thing idk
- zuko does something similar (with dao swords?) so he is trying hard not to be upstaged by his sister (ohh what if he and azula choreographed a fight sequence? and oops at some point its not fake anymore but everyone in the audience just thinks the blood and bruises are props lmao)
- i welcome any other character additions obvi
- but anyway the meat of the story is this: long days at rehearsal bc the entire camp/school is putting together this show for parents/general non-school audience (think fundraiser kinda thing), which means all the contestants know everyones act and theres some competitive tension there
- but for some reason, especially btwn zuko and sokka. as the practices go on (i almost wrote "as the summer goes on" so i think this is officially a summer camp situation but i am open to whatever), they are antagonizing each other outside of practice times to where it becomes the kind of rivalry that feels innate and both sides (fire nation v gaang) feel clique-y as hell but tbh no one remembers any concrete reason why it is what it is towards the end
- i think theres a lot of moments outside rehearsal where sokka and zuko have cute little moments (imagining a scene or five where sokka is starting to really pick up swordsmanship bc yes thats def a thing that happens in summer camps and zuko praises offhand at one point and oops now sokka is pestering for practice tips and oh *no* homosexual tension during MY sword fight bouts?? more likely than youd think!!) but once back in the rehearsal space their rivalry slips back on and theres some fun frenemy dynamics there
- did i mention this would be a zukka enemies to lovers au bc ofc how would it work any other way
- but theres a lil bit of angst too when they finally put on the talent show (i have zero thoughts on who would actually win or who would be crowd favorite) and the only person who shows for fire nation kids is iroh bc all their families suck
- whereas even tho katara and sokkas mom isnt there (rip) they still have hakoda and bato and a lot of other members of the water tribe
- so theres some comfort when fire nation kids are invited into the gaangs celebration and theres some heart warming found family moments, even if azula and mai would prefer not to take them up on it and its mostly just zuko trying to find his place with all these new friends hes been skirting around all summer
- (ty lee is bouncing btwn the groups but ends up finding her place with the kyoshi warriors dance squad)
- anyway i think the fic would end somewhere around that little celebration and sokka and zuko hold hands and smile at each other and cue pure and cute ending tyvm for reading
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RWBY LiveThoughts: V8E7
Since I finally have time for it today, lets make sure Im all caught up for the hiatus.
Before we get fully started, an idea; Its not a war crime if they’re Grimm. Then its just self defense. So break out the napalm, the cluster bombs, the chemical weapons, the fun stuff. Make em regret it, yeah?
And we start off...on a farm. Looks like my moms old farm in South Dakota. Even on Remnant, hay is best used in bales.
Waiiiit. Thats the place the Whale set down isnt it. I see a Sayber running. Ah, and the Atlas military! Surely, the vanguard of a massive force to hold the line! Also Im glad to see a close up of the helmet for once, I want to make my own. Also, the gloves, and the rifle itself. Not sure why it doesnt have a stock, seems kind of silly...
And airships too, so they got some fire support...whats that wall behind them though?
Also it TOOK US 8 FUCKING SEASONS to get a close up of these FUCKING Weapons. 8. FUCKING. SEASONS. Okay maybe more like 5 cause they didnt first appear till 3 or so but come on. Im so picking this shit apart later.
Pfft, bros got some nerves going on. Come on man, its just some Grimm, you’ll be FINE.
Atlas field harvesters resemble Halo’s JOTUN Farming equipment. As wel as our own. No surprise there.
Alright, bunch of Saybers, not seeing much of a threat here.
Hey, Paladins! Damn, they...look way different than I remember them to be.
I wont lie, I dont like the Paladin design. Way to much visual noise, I cant tell where anything IS.
Also that is the most 2D grass I have sever seen in my fucking life. What the hell are they growing here...
Huh, the whale has two sets of teeth. Wait, its just there? And its wpewing out Grimm. So...why isnt the air force firing on it?
Yeah its not moving, its just raising its head and slamming down and vomiting out more Grimm. Im not sure what the issue is here, just...seal the mouth.
Oh, huh. Apathys. Let me guess, RTs gonna try and tell us depression is going to kill most of Atlas. Oh for fuck sake. IM NOT IMPRESSED RT. IM REALLY NOT. IM MORE FUCKING ANNOYED THAN ANYTHING
Okay so...I see what this is. Its farm land outside of atlas proper and there’s an additional wall behind them, plus the power lines I guess? Seems like a viable place to make a stand.
...thats it. Please tell me this is just a single detachment of the Atlas military because there is less firepower here than a NATIONAL GUARD UNIT ASSIGNED TO ONE CITY
Im fairly certain there are more people assigned to ONE UNIT attached to JBLM then I amm seeing here.
Not to mention this is an OPEN FIELD the Grimm have to run through. This is a literall fucking TURKEY SHOOT. Running across an open field anywhere is a ticket to DYING.
Just ask the poor fucks on D-day.
Also uh...why is everyone in line formation? What is this, fuckin’ 18009s combat Napoleon style?
And did the distance suddenly change, I feel like the whale suddenly got a hell of a lot closer.
Just...I dont get this. This makes no sense. Did Ironwood learn how to deploy forces from a fairy tale book? This is legitimately some fuckin Lord of the Rings shit here.
RIP that one specific trooper hit by that Behemoth though. Dont worry friend, the thing walked next to a Paladin. Its getting its eye blasted out
And cut back to Ironwood. Doing...fuck if I know what.
Staring angrily it seems.
“Dammit, my tactical deployment by line formation and parade ground tactics isnt holding back the Grimm, curses!”
Well MAYBE IF YOUD THOUGHT TO INVEST IN SOME FUCKING AIR SUPPORT...Seriously.
I know people have told me why this is. I understand myself why this is. But it really just...does...not...jibe with me. At all.
Okay so more details; first, apparently Atlas has a subway. Makes sense, its a big island. Inter-system transits probably a given. Second; Was that Mantis Squad Omega? Some kind of unit maybe...interesting.
Also I love how this guy just questions Ironwood. Like, bro, if the General says do it, do it.
Hold the fuck up, why is everyone outside? It looks like fuckin’ Cali during our lockdowns...what ever happened to martial law huh?
Also “underground subway stations”. Yes, thats...kind of what a subway IS. I guess maybe they have overhead ones like New York does. Mass transit be weird like that.
I mean HELL the signs on it are almost identical to the ones in NYC too! Even with the colored circles and train cnumbers.
According to the sign here they’re at Pickens Square Station.
Oh boy. Ironwood just fed these poor bastards into a meat grinder. Anyone here ever played the Metro game series, or read the books?
Remember the Dark Ones? The Nosallias? Yeah. Tight corridors and monsters only work out well for angry vodka fueled Russians.
Didnt see it very well but I THINK those Mantas had some kind of wing gun. Either thats new, a separate armament setting, or RT forgot what ind of weapons they gave their ships AGAIN.
Cant get the shields back up, yeah, no shit, they DETACHED ONE OF THE FUCKING PILOTS YOU IDIOTS.
Also hah, they arrested Yang, Ren and Jaune. Not surprised.
Beta squads apperently been hitting the whale. ‘Bombs, missiles, we cant make a dent, sir.” ...while Im not surprised by this, I also hear shades of the opening of Halo 2s level Metropolis. “Where’s the rest of your platoon?” “Wasted, sarge. Blew right through us. Rockets, fifty cals, didnt do nothing.”
Honestly they could have SHOWED THAT too. Them just saying it feels like a cop out to me. Take that as you will. But if you want us to see the things hard to kill, show it.
Not that I figure Atlas’s rockets are much more than Dust in a propellent tank. Not exactly a Hellfire or TOW.
Nice to see proper military talk for...a moment anyway.
Or what I figure RT figures is proper.
Oh so now the whales moving. Okay...huh.
Jaunes commentary is the same as mine. Though I guess the size seems to shift depending.
Ohhh. Its MANTA. As in the gunships. Alright, sure that works. And this guys making a good call. If you cant hit the big one go after the smaller. Of which there seems to be a HELL of a lot. Actually holy fuck that Grimm spew is across like...ahlf the fucking island right now. Time to fuckin torch and burn people.
Ahhhhhh and they get to the proper idea. If you cant punch it from the outside, hit it from the inside.
I knew a crew...three madmen, names of Keegan, Lahni and Mac. The Hivebusters. Something tells me a Venom bomb would do the trick...if it can rip apart Swarm creatures as big as a Snatcher or a Swarmak and reduce them to green slime, I think it’ll work on Grimm.
Something tells me RT isnt gonna give em a bomb though. Too obvious.
NEVER MIND. “Science team is putting together a bomb.”
Also I LOVE how Winter’s pupils expand and retract in fear as she realizes what Ironwoods asking her to do.
Awww now shes getting the shakes too.
Salem directing this shit like shes some kind of orchestra leader. I mean it FITS but...I dunno.
Ah so the command deck is directly behind the whale’s glowing nose. Basically inside where the spermacetiy organ would be in a real sperm whale.
What the fuck is Emerald doing there?
Sneaking I guess. Huh. Why’s she sneaking around the whale. Also, huh. guess seeers can get fooled by Emeralds semblance. Is HE STILL BEATING UP ON OSCAR? Jeez dude. Take a breather.
Honestly if this was TRUE I would be okay with it. Replace the Huntsman with, I dont know, a massively overequipped military for each Kingdom, let them run rampant...stomp the Grimm out or push them back to nonexistence...everyone lives happily ever after
Lets be real here, the idea of the academies? Really really fucking dumb. Its cute. Fairy tale like.
But if theres one thing this show has taught me its that fairy tales SUCK. Reality...tends to be worse.
Ah theres one of those torture hooks they mentioned a few episodes back. Nice of the whale to have a specific interrigation room.
And at last we get some information on how Salem works. Alright so...what happens if you seperate the parts then? Sink one in the ocean, launch one into space.
Sounds like Oz/Oscars telling the fans what we’ve been saying forever, Companion Book be damned; Salem wants to die.
These mind games bore me. Its cute, but I dont like it cause I cant follow that shit. Give me a straight up fight any day, fuck this sublty backroom fuckery
No lies from them both here honestly.
Medical supplies in Atlas seem almost the same as here on earth interestngly. Also, soup. Or...coffee, tea?
Blake with the obvious here. But I mean thats not really saying much cause...well. Not hard to outfight the Atlas military it seems like. (Long suffering sigh)
Im gonna make a seperate post about my frustrations with that and leave it there. But dont expect me to stop fully complaining about it because everyones gotta have something to bitch about with this show, and I’ll be DAMNED if I start joining the BB whiners.
Good question, Ruby. Might be that YOUR NOT LIVING IN A FAIRY TALE
I’d like to see these people dying in Mantle. I refuse to believe that there isnt SOMEONE in the nation that once brought Remnant to its heel that wont stand and fight. Unless Im wrong about that too...
May backstory? May backstory. Yeah. Not amazingly complicated but it works. Cant tell if shes Henry though...or was.
Dramatic lightning flash
Cute you think that Ruby. Theres sides. Always are.
Further proof honestly.
Hazels look of though is amusing. Cant tell if he doesnt believe Oscar, or if his tiny peabrain is runing full bore to think this through.
Coordination between farm boy and professor.
Oh. OHHHH. Plants the seed of doubt in Hazels tiny mind, he uses the last question for himself, sees the truth... Clever, Oscar. Clever.
Hazel peabrain go THUNK
Ah so Mercs going off to Vacuo. Guess that means everyone else is going there next too. Eat that, random Discord person, I called it.
Course, CFVYs there so...maybe we get to see Yats beat up on him.
Oh hi Tyrian. Do you just...randomly roam the halls of the whale waiting to DRAMATICALLY REVEAL YOURSELF and give violent expositon? Im very much okay with that.
Also I love how he just...accepts this. Totally fucking bonkers, totally down with it.
Oh shit, Tyrian and Mercury going to Vacuo? Damn thats gonna be INTERESTING. I guess Tyrian’ll fit in well enough honestly.
Flying Beringal literally out of the roof.
I remember back when this season first started and I said those weird bone platforms looked like VTOL launch bays. Guess what? They are.
Merc and Em emotion blah blah DONT CAAARRREEE
Jaune thinking tactically for ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE. An I mean military tactical of course.
Also I like how the Aces say they dont let emotions cloud their shit WHEN THEYVE BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.
This ENTIRE PLANET is emotionally run. Thats why the Grimm are such an issue! Makes small note to make Remnant Adeptus Mechanicus cult
Seriously though...
I wont lie though, Hare isnt wrong. Wonder what happened to that Tortuga guy. Tyrian, is my guess. Love how Ren interrupts the moment they almost mention Clovers name.
Expendable, yes. Replacable, no. You should have a talk with squadron leader Grey from Star Wars Squadrons Ren
ANNNNDDD SEMBLANCE EVOLUTION. Or the edibles just kicked in.
This is cool and all but its really fucking dumb and hamfisted. Explain all you want. Mention emotions all you want.
The Aces are fucking huntsmen. HUNTSMEN. FUCKING. SUCK. They always have. Its a dumb idea. Yes, lets stop the hordes of monsters invading this world BY SENDING IN SINGLE OPERATIVES WITH FUCKING MELEE WEAPONS
I’ll make this clear to you, Ren, right here and now. If you faced a REAL elites, you wouldnt have stood a chance. Nor would RWBY. Their bodies would have been three-shot from 20 meters out with a breach and clear and stacked against the wall like cords of wood, one final shot to the dome to make dead sure they were down. None of this stupid flipping and acrobatic crap, none of this clashing weapons and Dust and semblances...no.
You’d be dead before you knew they were there and they would move on. You’d just be another body to the pile, one more faceless corpse to add to their kill count. A meatgrinder in human form.
Professionals. Dont. Lose. AND THE ACES ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS!
Because thats not what RWBYs about, never has been. And that is what annoys me slightly. That and the fact I cant distangle what I know of other universes and our own from RWBY’s. Its hard to hold a universe on its own when everything they make points towards it being like ours, but they change it when they see fit.
I feel like thats bad writing.
Hehehe. Winter touched Elms boob.
Glad to know that Winters got her priorities right. Course, that bomb probably aint gonna do shit cause its Dust based.
...again, hoping its a chemical weapon...
Wait, the Atlas forces from earlier are STILL FIGHTING? Damn, these Grimm must suck if they couldnt wipe them out in that little time...
Also I cant tell if its getting dark cause of the storm or if its the dawn of the next day. Or did...they shift time around? I lost track. I SWORE the sun was setting the last time we saw everything.
Also return of the shitty 3D grass...
Marrows gonna defect.
Awww poor Winters got emotions. HEY MAYBE DONT SEND A MENSTRATING WOMAN OUT ON A FIELD OP, ATLAS!
So according to May there’s still front lines. Cool.
AYYY ITS KLIEN! HES BACK
Oh, I guess hes a doctor too. Oh he MAD.
Ayyy Whitleys being USEFUL for fucking once in his shitty life.
Shes gonna hug him isnt she.
CALLED IT. For fuck sake...whatever. Cute. But whatever.
Oh annnnddd now Grimmquake?
No. It stopped...Bolide?
No. PENNY.
Annnnddd shes leaking coolant. And sparking. And dead.
RIP Penny.
The concept art of the beached whale looks so fucking silly. Seriously, just...detach the whole section there. Drop the fucking thing.
Oh well.
And thats it for almost two months! Be prepared for me to BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH ALL OF IT and continue on with my military fanwank because THATS HOW IM SURVIVING 2020!
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NIGHTMARE AT GARREG MACH: PART 1
Prompt: After Claude tells a scary story during a heavy storm to the students, Edelgard lectures him on his behavior, leading Claude to challenge her bravery after things take a turn for the worse, once they discover someone to be missing.
/—————————————————————/
The rain beat down on the cathedral ceilings and walls. All the students were gathered together for safety. Catherine, Cyril, Shamir, and Alois were passing blankets out to as many of the students as they could.
“Attention, students of Garreg Mach Monastery!” Seteth yelled over the chattering students and pounding rain. Everyone went silent and turned to look at him.
“As you all are aware, there is a heavy storm going on right now.”
“Oh really?” a sarcastic voice spouted from the crowd.
Seteth nodded and turned to the voice. “Thank you Claude.” He turned back to the crowd as a whole. “Now, please do not be alarmed. This is simply a blessing from the goddess for our crops.”
Just as he said this, a large flash of lighting and boom of thunder rattled the cathedral. Several students screamed in response.
“Well don’t I just feel blessed?” the same sarcastic voice heckled.
“Thank you Claude.” Seteth repeated, annunciating harder this time to show his frustration. “Anyway, because of the storm, we’re cancelling classes for today and keeping all students in here for tonight. As you may have noticed, blankets are being passed out, but we do not have enough for everyone, so please share with your peers. Also, make sure you always stay in groups in order to assure no one goes missing. Furthermore, if any of you must leave for any reason, please notify one of the faculty first and take someone with you. Bandits thrive off of loud storms like these, and I don’t want any of you in danger.”
“Yeah, bandits are one thing.” Claude heckled again. “But what we REALLY should be scared about... is the ghooooAAAAooosts!”
Lysithea, who sat next to him, planted her fist onto his arm.
“D-don’t say stuff like that!” she demanded. Other students began to mutter in panic after Claudes warning.
“Claude!” Seteth yelled. “Please do not fill the students heads with your fairy tales!”
“Hey, I’m just trying to warn them of all the dangers just like you are!”
“Claude, I-“
“Thats enough.”
A gentle and benevolent voice spoke from behind them.
“Ah... Lady Rhea... my apologies.” Seteth responded with a bow.
“Everyone, please remain calm.” Rheas soothing voice seemed to calm most of the students down. “The storm will not last long. I am going to pray to the goddess for our safety. In the meantime, everyone please remain calm and stay together.”
With that, the archbishop turned around and began her prayer. Seteth and the other officers began to patrol the cathedral to ensure all students were accounted for. On his patrol, Seteth felt a tug at his sleeve. He turned to see who it was.
“Ah, Flayn.” Seteth said, putting on a warm smile for her, despite the headache he was currently enduring. “How can I help you?”
“Um... Brother.” his sister spoke softly, bringing her voice to a whisper. “I... I must use the bathroom.”
“Now?” Seteth responded, followed by a sigh. “The nearest restroom is in the professors wing, and that’s all the way across the bridge.”
“That is no problem. You can take me, can you not?”
“Flayn, I’m very busy. You’re just going to have to hold it until the storm passes.”
“U-until the storm passes?” Flayn responded, perplexed by her brothers answer. “I will surely not make it until then! If you are busy, then I will look for another buddy to go with, like...”
Flayn quickly scanned the people around her, hoping a volunteer would step up. Someone quickly caught her eye.
“Alois!” Flayn exclaimed, grabbing onto the knight as he attempted to pass by.
“Gah!” Alois yelped in shock.
“Alois will escort me to the restroom, won’t you Alois?”
Flayn finished her sentence then looked up at the knight with a bright smile and pleading eyes.
“Um... well...” Alois stuttered, as Flayns eyes grew wider. “I... Yes! I will escort young Flayn to the... restroom? Yes!”
Seteth let out a heavy sigh. He turned to Alois who looked back with a confident yet confused grin.
“You have five minutes. Straight there, straight back. Understood?”
“Yes sir!” Alois responded, patting his fist to his chest.
“Oh thank you so much Brother!” Flayn responded excitedly. “And thank you as well Alois!”
“Not a problem!” Alois responded. “Come along little one!”
The pair walked towards the entrance of the cathedral. Alois put on a helmet to protect himself from the rain, while Flayn seemed completely unfazed by the water pelting her face, hair, and clothes. Seteth watched every step they took until they were out of sight.
“Don’t let me down Alois.”
/————————————————————————/
The students all huddled together for warmth. Gathered around Claude sat Lysithea, Linhardt, Ashe, and Annette. Lysithea sat looking at her fidgeting hands. She turned to Claude.
“You know, it’s really not nice to make jokes about ghosts Claude.” she lectured.
“Oh I’m afraid I’m not joking around there kiddo.” Claude responded slyly. “There’s definitely been ghosts around here before.”
“Th-thats not true!” she argued. “R-right Linhardt?”
“Hm?” Lindhardt responded lazily, one eye half open. “Well, I suppose there’s no studies against it, but I certainly haven’t heard any for it. Believe me, if I did, I wouldn’t be attending this school.”
“Oh, I have.” Claude replied. “In fact... theres one particular ghost I’ve heard of... that haunts this very monastery.”
“Th-that isn’t true, is it?” Ashe chimed in nervously.
“Oh yeah... gather around everyone, and I’ll tell you the story of...” Claude trailed off, then quickly grabbed a candle and held it under his face for dramatic effect. “The Vengeful Woodcutter!”
Everyone around him widened their eyes at the sound of that name. An evil grin sprawled over Claudes face.
“Many years ago...” he began, his eyes darting between each member of his captive audience. “There was a member of the church who was a renowned woodcutter. He alone was responsible for collecting a majority of the logs for the church. He was beloved by the students, villagers, and faculty alike. But one day... there was... an accident.”
Annette huddled up by Ashe, who was slightly shaking. Lysithea’s eyes were locked onto Claude. Lindhardt, on the other hand, kept his eyes concealed behind his eye lids. Claude continued his story.
“The church was working him hard, day and night, and he was beginning to tire out. He begged them for a day off, but alas, the church needed more wood. So he was sent back out into the woods. He began hacking away, log after log... chop... chop.... and then... CHOP!”
He shouted the last ‘chop’, causing everyone around him to jump up in shock. Annette let out a small squeal, causing Lindhardts eyes to shoot open.
“A sudden burst of pain came seemingly out of nowhere from that last chop. He looked down to see his work, and it was then that he realized... instead of cutting a piece of wood... he instead discovered that he had actually... CUT OFF HIS OWN HAND!”
“NO!” Ashe yelped in fear.
“YES!” Claude shot back. “He let out a scream in pain. He knew he had to get back to the church quick, but his injury slowed him down. And what he forgot to realize... was that there was a Demonic Beast lurking in those very woods... and it smelt blood, not far from it.”
Lindhardt cringed and swallowed at the mention of blood. Lysithea was gripping her legs, holding them close to her chest as she sat curled up in a ball, still locking her gaze on Claude.
“Out of the woods, the beast lunged out and attacked the woodcutter, tearing him apart... limb... from limb...”
“Oh no... thats awful!” Annette sympathized.
“It was. They say he was mauled for what could have been hours. He died in those woods, never to be seen again... however... rumors began to spread that his ghost still remains, and travelled here to Garreg Mach to enact his revenge on those who treated him poorly. He could be lurking these very halls as we speak... in fact...”
Claude paused, his eyes squinted, as the group of students watched him with bated breath, waiting for him to finish his sentence. A slight smile creeped over his face.
“He could even be.... RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!”
Right as he shouted, he pointed behind the students. Each and every one of their heads spun around at lightning speed, and in front of them was a dark figure, wielding an axe, who let out a brutish yell. Lysithea, Annette, Ashe, and Linhardt all screamed at the top of their lungs, causing several students around them to jump in shock.
Before their screams died down, the figure ripped a blanket off of itself, revealing a laughing pink haired student.
“H-Hilda!” Lysithea yelled.
“Oh wow, that was TOO good Claude!” Hilda said between laughs. Claude stood up and high fived her.
“Excellently pulled off Hilda. I knew I could count on you for the closing act.” Claude said, a mischievous victory grin stretching over his face.
“Very funny you two.”
A stern voice pierced Claudes ear. He turned to look at the source, and his smile faded slightly.
“Oh, hello Edelgard.”
The imperial princess walked up to the group, her arms folded, and a cold stare directed right at the heir to the Alliance. Behind her, as always, Hubert towered over, not exactly helping the scary ambiance that Claude had already set with his sinister gaze.
“Don’t you have anything better to do than further frighten these already scared, helpless students?” she lectured.
Claude rolled his eyes in response. “C’mon Princess, lighten up! There’s nothing wrong with a little harmless fun.”
“Harmless you say? I think Ashe may have wet himself after that story.”
“N-no I didn’t!” Ashe quickly denied. Annette patted him on his shoulder. Claude sighed, as Edelgard continued her lecture.
“There’s nothing funny about what you did. It was immature and childish, certainly not the qualities of a future leader.”
“Ohhh, I see what’s going on here.” Claude responded, his eyes lit up and his smile returned. “You’re just scared aren’t you?”
“Scared? Really? Surely you’re joking.”
“No, I bet that’s what it is. You’re just scared and don’t wanna hear my scary story during this scary storm.”
“Enough! I won’t hear one more word of your ridiculous-“
Before she could finish her sentence, a large flash of lighting, followed immediately with booming thunder roared across the cathedral. Students from all across the floor screamed in fear, as Catherine shouted to try and keep them all from panicking further.
Claude was quick to notice Edelgard twitch when the strike hit. His smile widened, but she retaliated with an even colder stare.
Just then, the cathedral doors were shoved open, then quickly shut right after. Panting and holding the door shut, Alois looked over at the students who’s attention he caught. Most notably, and unfortunately for him, Seteth quickly walked over to the sweating night.
“Alois? What in the goddesses name happened?” he asked sternly.
“O-oh, Seteth! Yes!” Alois began, still trying to catch his breath. “Right! Well, I was escorting Flayn to the restroom, as asked, when suddenly, BOOM! A huge lightning bolt! Normally, this wouldn’t frighten me too much, but right when the flash hit, I saw a figure! I couldn’t tell who it was, so I ran back to tell you about it!”
“And... where is Flayn?”
Alois stared blankly back for a few seconds. Then, he turned his head left, then to the right, then back at Seteth, as he lost all color in his face.
“Uh... well... she was... um...”
Before he could get a thought out, Seteth pointed his finger right in the knights face.
“YOU... are to go BACK OUT THERE. And FIND her. NOW!”
Alois quickly saluted, opened the door back up, and bolted back into the storm. Clearly, the scorn of the over protective brother is scarier than any potential ghost or storm Alois had encountered.
Claude, seeing this as a great opportunity to test his theory, decided to chime in.
“Y’know Seteth, it might be best if we send more people to find her. Say, why don’t me and the princess go looking for her?”
“Wh-what?” Edelgard responded, completely perplexed by the forced volunteering of her services.
“Oh.. well unless of course you’re too scared to go... I get it...”
“I-“
“Enough!” Seteth interrupted. “Please, just... any of you, please go find her! I... I need to go sit down.”
Seteth stumbled off, his head in his hand.
“Claude, you are as annoying as they come.” Edelgard said.
“Oh come now princess, young Flayn needs us!” Claude replied, putting on a faux grandiose voice. “Let us depart at once!”
Edelgard sighed. Knowing she had been backed into a corner, she had no choice but to follow the prankster.
“Lady Edelgard, I shall accompany you.” Hubert chimed in.
“Yes... That would make this much more bearable...”
“Hurry up!” Claude beckoned, while holding the large steel doors open. He looked over at the group he was sitting with earlier. “Hey, any of you coming?”
Every one of them shakes their head in unison. He sighs, as only Edelgard and Hubert walk through the door way. He then closes the door behind him, as the three make their way across the large bridge.
END OF PART 1
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and finally, the conclusion of the dark brotherhood questline
i have been through so much and lost so much but i gained the one thing that matters most of all..... cicero’s heart
-----
well
these aren’t the real emperor’s clothes but i have this still,
i put it on the dawnstar sanctuary mannequin with the jester hat lmao
:( my favorite guard friend who hangs out around the shops in the mornings with me is onto me
hes not hostile or reporting me to the jarl or anything at least tho
Dont woRRY About It
i did have guards after me for a while (i had. several just go ‘ok ill let you off this time :)’ bc. i. asked nicely. after attempting to assassinate the emperor of skyrim) but eventually just paid my bounty and they were like ok you’re good and now apparently everyone has completely forgotten That Time I Tried To Murder The Fucking Emperor
anyway after the fucking massacre that happened at the sanctuary i was absolutely Out For Blood
i mean like....... i realize maro is completely justified here. we are in fact a league of assassins guilty of murdering A Lot of people, we very much did make a real attempt on the emperor’s life (and killed his double, who was less important but still like, an innocent guy, presumably)(or even if it was like that death note thing where its actually a criminal on death row anyway, like, we clearly didnt know that) and i did personally murder maro’s son and ruin his reputation, so. like. we are the bad guys in this situation no matter how you look at it lmao but STILL THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS, FUCKER
so i decided to murder him out of pure spite, but. uh
I DONT REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO CAUSE THIS BUT I ACTUALLY GOT THE SOLITUDE GUARDS TO MURDER HIM FOR ME LMAO I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING
im trying to remember what the fuck even happened here im clearly. underwater, i think maybe i like. confronted him and he got hostile but i jumped off the pier and the guards were like “woah that guy’s losing it” and intervened but he fought them too or something ??? ?? I DONT KNOW BUT THE GUARDS KILLED HIM FOR ME :’) thanks guys
then after everything we still kept the contract, and... the new plan.... was for me to sneak onto the emperor’s ship before he leaves skyrim and kill him there.... WHICH I COULD HAVE FUCKING. DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN... KILLING SOME OFFICIAL’S SON AND PLANTING FALSE EVIDENCE AND TRACKING DOWN THE GOURMET AND MURDERING HIM AND IMPERSONATING HIM TO TRY TO POISON THE EMPEROR AND IMPLICATING A RANDOM CHEF WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND
EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!!! WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS. WAS ASTRID GETTING ME ALL MIXED UP IN THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE ON PURPOSE FROM THE BEGINNING ?? ? ? SORRY!!! IM ANGRY
i got all the way here without anyone even seeing me (i used a couple invisibility potions for the really tricky spots, but still) i could absolutely have just done this and avoided the entire everything. god
anyway i again dont really understand the politics of skyrim but. the real emperor was expecting me to find him one way or another. he had already accepted his death and made peace with it. it was. actually kind of sad. i dont know enough to say whether he was actually a decent guy or not but he seemed like he was. i couldnt bring myself to steal his clothes so i still just have the duplicate emperor’s clothes but it looks the same anyway
i took a war axe from one of his displays though. i dont remember if i already mentioned my ongoing tradition of always taking something from my victims and enchanting them later to mark who it belonged to, but thats a thing ive been doing. little murder scrapbook
im not really sure how murdering the emperor counts as “serving the empire” but sure ok
i also killed this guy lmao the emperor’s last wish was for me to kill whoever it was that betrayed him and i dont like this dude in the first place so i was like yea you got it
i built a memorial with the weapons rack in my room in the dawnstar sanctuary
enchanted special weapons for each of our fallen members (left to right it’s astrid, arnbjorn, festus, gabriella, and veezara) (i also later added another dagger for lis bc i had one space left)
theres also gemstones on the floor beneath each weapon but they keep sliding out of place :’ |
ANGEL DARLING SONG OF MY HEART LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU’RE ALIVE
you can see the game autosaving in the corner bc i had Just come out of the sanctuary lmao thats how lightning fast i reacted to this
[sobbing] baby boy.... baby.... i was SO WORRIED
i murdered the fucking emperor of skyrim bc i was so desperate to continue this questline to see if cicero would come back I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU.....
(he pranked me and pretended he was gonna kill me at first. i almost lost it thinking he STILL wouldnt forgive me but it was ok :’) u got me, )
sniffs...... best friends forever........ this is the best possible outcome this is all ive ever wanted it was all worth it for this
we got our window back!!!!! also ft cicero subtitle photobombing me with his boundless enthusiasm for murder but i forgive him
oof we also have... a bunch of torture victims hanging around now too :’ ) oh
i kinda feel bad about them but there doesnt seem to be an option to let them go,
i mean i could just kill them all i guess. i killed one guy to see if i could. you Can. his body is still there. nobody seemed to care that i killed him
I TURNED AROUND AFTER NAZIR SAID THAT AND CICERO’S JUST. LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS,
i fuckign love this cute little shit. what the fuck. this is such justice too everyone was so rude to him, everyone made fun of him and talked down to him, everyone wanted him dead after he went after astrid, but she sold us out and got everyone killed, he was RIGHT, and now hes the right-hand-man to the Listener who is now ALSO the leader of the brotherhood. he’s basically second in command to the entire organization now and nobody can do a goddamn thing about it bc they all KNOW not to fuck with me now
i also realized hes taller than me and i dont like it, :’)
im still deciding medea’s taller than him anyway i dont care. she would be taller than the character model is allowing for
he likes to randomly start singing/humming really off key/dancing around its SO cute.... im lov him...............
darling..... calm down, :’)
hes so completely devoted to me now im in pain
i realized i could tell him to go to sleep and he actually did it the absolute madman
he gets up if you try to sleep beside him though
i mean. not that i tried that or anything
he stands SO close to me all the time.... i turn around and hes right there beaming adoringly at me. i cant do this
he kept saying mother needed some flowers so i took him out to collect some nightshade for her n dropped them around her feet
“whats the point of thievery lol like..... just kill them?????? stupid”
having cicero constantly two feet behind me jus making cute comments and/or half singing The Weirdest Shit I Have Ever Heard is absolutely delightful
ur so cute when you’re threatening people
he also hates the forsworn see we’re in sync
I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN
me, the leader of the brotherhood, in full brotherhood armor, with cicero following right behind me giggling to himself about murder:
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there’s so, so, SO much nonsense surrounding this game that i’m gonna do my best to separate it into digestible bits, with its own categories. even then this is... wow. it’s big.
Warning tags will be added at the start of every section, but the general gist is: incest, pedophilia mentions, fetishization of rape and abuse, fetishization of mlm, fetishization of people of color, racism, ableism, nb erasure and transphobia. aside of the warnings, this post will also touch upon Scummy Business Practices
let’s get going
Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber: #incest #pedophilia#rape and abuse fetishization #homophobia
tl;dr: dana loves incest porn, elle loves guy on guy rape, and the both of them are friends with at least one pedophile
dana rune has run, is still running an incest zine (please visit my faq on what i think about “thats not really incest” and “it’s just fictional!”). The Arcana, as a dev team, clearly does not care, as shown in their e-mail responses.
dana also very much doesn’t care and has reacted to any criticism on this by dismissing people and blocking actual incest victims who tried to contact her about it claiming it was for her “mental health”
in some tweets she claims she “interprets” the characters as not siblings, but she never really cared enough to cover her ass when it all began (she happily admits she’d “cross the incest line”)
dana has commissioned artists who also ship incest, draw near-pedophilic art that’s supposed to pass as acceptable because the character involved is supposedly not a minor despite looking like a child down to wearing pigtails (the character is also wearing a racist-ass belly dancer outfit), AND even made white-washed fanart of The Arcana.
dana follows twitter user kapymui who also produces incestuous Fire Emblem art
dana has retweeted omocat long after it came out that omocat is, at the very least, consuming pedophilic content (on “omocat didn’t know what shota meant!”: yes they did)
moving on, elle has a long, long, LONG history of fetishizing mlm and the rape and abuse that comes with yaoi and had a rich, RICH “yaoi” tag before they deleted their tumblr
they curiously deleted their tumblr right after i made this reblog
shortly after that, tumblr user thalassiq remade and started attacking and insulting any blogs criticizing them - even people providing support in IMs. Since this doesn’t match Dana and Elle’s normal pity parties I’m personally willing to believe they were just a person wanting to start shit - but it’s so telling how Elle used this chance to dismiss everyone who disagrees with them by calling them “children” and did not even bother to offer a kind word to people who were harassed and even had their trauma mocked by this person. It costs 0 dollars to say “that was not me but I’m sorry about people who were hurt.”
Dana and Elle are close with Ava’s Demon creator Michelle Czajkowski aka that one person who endorses child porn of her characters, and even had her draw a promo image for the game. Michelle has been creating highly sexualized content of her minor characters for a while now.
ok so elle and dana are gross freaks, how is that related to the game?
oh it’s very very related
Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber that’s Actually Inside The Game or The Game’s Blog: now with more #racism #fetishization of poc and mlm #whitewashing #fat hate #pedophilia #nb erasure #transphobia
tl;dr: the arcana is filled to the brim with racism! so much of it! haha holy shit! and that’s not even where it ends!!!
their game is rated PG-13 but includes incredibly sexual situations such as Julian making this fucking face while getting off on pain. This isn’t the only time Dana and Elle use their videogame aimed at young teens to showcase their kinks and fetishes. I have no issue with NSFW or titillating content, as long as it’s rated accordingly. This content is NOT and it’s a blatant disregard for their audience just to have a larger, more pliable demographic and have more money sent their way.
if you start your argument with “well, teenagers look at porn” 1. shut up 2. theres a HUGE difference between teenagers going after adult content aimed at adults, and adults creating content they know will be seen by kids barely starting puberty
as pointed above, dana has 0 qualms literally commissioning people who make whitewashed fanart of her own fucking game that’s supposed to be all about the inclusivity and safe spaces
thearcanagame blog has a pattern of reblogging whitewashed fanart (before you come in swinging with the good ole “ITS THE LIGHTING”: 1. no it isnt 2. the artist should’ve picked better lightning then 3. i draw and post shit online too so dont come telling me i just dont understaaaand),
fanart of their fat characters showed skinnier than they are in their sprites (although to be real for a moment - Portia is curvy at most and them behaving she’s fat rep is HILARIOUS).
going back to NSFW content: nadia and asra are overwhemlingly sexualized in the game, and were the first to have sexualized CGs and sprites introduced.
CGs: Asra’s here, here aND HERE, Nadia’s here with a NSFW warning because she’s just got her whole fucking ass out. Sprites: Asra’s thank god for whoever compiled it all in one image, Nadia’s and once again, NSFW warning lmfao!
Julian’s sprites on the other hand are noticeably tamer, including the one where he’s fucking strapped in leather. His only sexual (NSFW warning because its literally softcore tentacle porn WHICH, ONCE AGAIN, SHOULDN’T BE PUT IN A GAME AIMED AT 13YOS) CGs were also included months after Nadia and Asra received any of theirs.
Through all of the updates, people have constantly requested that Asra and Nadia’s sexualization be toned down, and time after time The Arcana just churned out fetishistic, hypersexualized content at an absurd rate, especially when compared to the one white love interest.
Oh, speaking of the one white love interest: Julian is based off of Jeff Goldblum (this is not spectulation - they p much bring it up at any given time) but like. If Jeff Goldblum was white. They base their favorite love interest off their supposed favorite man in the world but casually leave his skin tone behind. Lmao.
they also play favorites very obviously - in the prologue, Nadia and Asra have a romance paid scene each. Julian has a scene... that requires no coins. Julian was also the first LI to receive three CGs, two of them requiring no coins, while both Asra’s and Nadia’s first CGs were behind a paywall
Dana and Elle have been notoriously skittish about confirming or denying their characters’ ethnicities. After hyping for weeks on thearcanagame that they would confirm the character’s races they basically made a post that amounted to “well they’re not white lol!”
they only relented after the perfectly understandable outrage... and posted a thread about it on Elle’s twitter. Nothing on the actual thearcanagame blog. Anyway, here’s the thread. Note how there’s mention of Julian being Jeff Goldblum... but nothing about him and Portia being Jewish (or “fantasy Jewish” as it were).
The one time they did confirm their jewishness dana then backpedaled and said she shouldn’t have done that lol.
another fun tidbit of how well The Arcana handles race and how much it cares about feedback from fans: an ask was sent about an anon begging for Nadia to step on them. The blog, with the finesse of a bunch of horny dumbasses, didn’t just publish the ask, but approved of it (even though the fans of color had long, long, LONG been telling everyone not to fetishize Nadia into a “step on me kween” wet dream). People were outraged, of course, and the blog ~apologized~ and said they were still learning.... then a new chapter included a scene of Nadia stepping on the Apprentice. 🙃
not to mention elle, on their twitter, made a passive aggressive “women can be doms?” tweet, trying to twist it into a “yr oppressing women” angle (when the issue is that women of color are always constantly portrayed as aggressive and domineering)
Now for a wombo combo of racism and Elle’s fetishization of mlm:
the devs have spoken at length of how Julian’s and Asra’s relationship was quite unhealthy. In a paid scene in Asra’s route, they’re depicted as Asra being disgusted w Julian touching him+Julian following Asra to his shop when Asra refused his offer to go with him (aka julian... stalked him lmfao).
.......... this scene is promptly followed by a highly sexual scenario where Julian’s pain fetish is played up. Remember how this game is rated PG-13? Me neither. Asra’s previous disgust with Julian is also forgotten, for some reason (and by some reason i mean Elle wants to make them fuck w/o buildup or logic).
Then Asra’s route has yet another paid scene dedicated to Asrian, even though he’s supposed to not even like Julian! And be head over heels with the Apprentice! But Elle just has to make these two be entangled despite insisting their relationship was not good for either of them!
Now here’s the kicker: Julian doesn’t have any paid scenes related to his romance with Asra. Note how it’s one of the brown LIs whose route is highjacked by the white LI, but not vice versa. Hmmmmm.
Now, on the topic of Asra: thearcanagame has said repeatedly that he’s nb and uses he/him pronouns, and promised (since last year) that there would be dialogue where he speaks about his gender
as of the making of this post such dialogue still does not exist
so basically asra is the nb to dumbledore’s gay: anyone who just plays the game w/o keeping up with the official blog has no idea of what asra’s gender is supposed to be.
aka he’s not nb. he’s just a cis guy. the arcana just doesn’t want to put its money where its mouth is, i dont care if elle is nb themself. the team made a promise which has not been fulfilled yet and i suspect will not be.
instead, our introduction to canon nb characters is... these two.
By “these two” i mean neither vulgora nor valdemar are even fucking human, and stick out like sore thumbs with their monstruousness.
so our nb rep is... non-human villains. a few books later one of Nadia’s sisters with they/them pronouns shows up, but that’s too little too late on top of the fact that we should’ve known Asra was nb from the first to begin with. It’s a fucking embarrassment and an insult.
at least two villains are visibly disabled (Lucio’s missing arm and Volta’s blind eye+intentionally asymmetrical face). Julian’s eye doesn’t count because, spoilers, he’s not lacking an eye and even if he was it’d still be hidden behind a dashing eyepatch instead of grotesquely displayed as a sign of his lacking morality.
BUT WAIT! IT DOESN’T EVEN END THERE!
The Arcana Exploits The App Business Model To Price Their Full Game at $500, $1000 if the three extra routes make it out, and they never delivered their Kickstarter rewards:
tl;dr: you heard me
the original price per route was planned on being $1.99
they took that “subject to change” really seriously, it seems, because now each route, once the game is fully out, is estimated to cost around $170 each.
both those screenshots are taken from this post which explains in detail just how truly scummy all of The Arcana’s business model and decisions are: https://mysticmicrotransactions.tumblr.com/post/174308723344/dishonesty-from-the-arcana
the tl;dr is basically what’s listed in the beginning of this section, but other highlights from that post are: the use of addictive gambling mechanics such the Wheel of Fortune, and the dazzling calls to action in the new mini-game.
something that The Arcana supporters forget (or choose to ignore) is the fact that for a long, long time the game did not have the mini-game or the log-in rewards for coins. Players depended only on the gambling of the WoF or paying absurd amounts of money for the new chapters.
the devs went from playing the victims who were unable of controlling prices to (as spoken of in the link from mysticmicrotransactions) saying the making of the game (a pathetic little app game backed by a studio and a kickstarter) justifies the prices
they also gave people false hope about maybe changing the prices in the future, all while bleeding money from loyal players in “micro” transactions
the arcana literally added a $99.99 coins option on their latest update
in case it hasn’t sunk in yet: you can pay a hundred dollars upfront to the arcana, and you still will not have access to the whole game
there is no defense to this
none
“it’s free stop whining” let me explain:
“spend months on end accumulating fake currency or pay hundreds of dollars up-front to be able to play” is a scummy business model no matter how you look at it
if i can spend $60 upfront to play an AAA game there’s no excuse to demand more than that for a game with much smaller and, honestly, inferior content
the combination of there being already far and few games featuring lgbt characters and characters of color AND the little cult of personality set up by Dana and Elle makes people feel that spending money to support them is an acceptable expense.
it’s not
manipulating people into spending ridiculous amounts of money and then claiming “it’s their choice” is just scummy business, baby, and thats all the arcana does
the devs are brats who instead of admitting $500 is absurd for a game instead write petty little caricatures into their game - like, lbr: dana, elle, if i could afford diamonds in my hair i wouldn’t have even bothered with your shitstain of a game
despite bragging that ppl would get the full story w/o needing to pay, the paid scenes are pretty much required - the first few books of julian’s route have no romance without accessing any of the paid options. you dont even get so much as a kiss in without handing coins over. many, many people were baffled when julian had a teary break-up scene when from their perspective they hadn’t even started building a relationship.
wow that’s more than i ever thought it’d be
and i’ve been aware of their bullshit for near a whole year now!
i don’t have much of a note to end this on, other than: the arcana just isn’t even that good. it suffers from weak writing, pathetic character development and above all actually harmful content. do not try to argue with me on any of these points unless you’ve read all of that, because whatever you have to say i’ve likely mentioned before. if you still are that determined to yell at a me on the internet, please preface your argument with the phrase “I’m a pee pee poo poo man” so I know you’ve read everything in here. thank you!
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watching every naruto opening and discussing my opinions because im bored liveblog
original
took me a little while to warm up to it idk why maybe because its not as up tempo and its a shonen and i want to get hype but i love it now. love the part where the camera pans around team 7 fighting randos they are babies… also its so funny when sasuke holds out his hand to naruto to help him out of the lake and he jsut fist bumps him. gay boy
Haruka fucking kanata baby!!!!!!!! a fav. like we all know this. i listen to the song just regularly a lot and every time it comes on shuffle im like Oh my god its haruka kanata. read the english translation of the lyrics… sns
this one got stuck in my head for a while lol. i like seeing everyone babie and i like naruto shaking his head at the end to dry off like a dog
DDMnanannaddnnaaaaa naaaaaaaaa nda aaWE ARE FIGHTING DEAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOLI OLI OLIOOOOoohh!!!!! very fun very good also a very good time in the show, hello tsunade
**edgy shonen opening where theres something important in front of a chain link fence**
lol skipping 6-9 bc thats the huge chunk of filler which i didnt actually watch most of
shippuden
heros come back is SO GOOD absolutely one of my favs. banger first of all. i love how its actually choreographed and naruto sakura kakashi are like moving to the beat and i love the part where the animation is like pencil sketchy and theyre running and their bodies warp bro its just cool. the part where everyone dramatically reaches for gaara is fun, also love deidaras moment. anyway i shake my ass to this song eveyrday
distance oh god oh fuck. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!! the sasuke and naruto stuff where they are little baby at the beginning at the end we return to the same place theyre there and like about to stab each other i’m going to scream. i lvoe the song of course. hello sai! i love team 7s little spotlight moments where they get to pose to the music its so cute. why is sasuke snake jesus? DO you remember that long lost DREAM!!!!!!!!!!
BLUE BIRD YA BANGER ok the whole symbolism. when naruto falling next to sasuke rising is positioned like yin and yang lol. when naruto is falling from the sky but then sasuke comes to mind and he springs into action lol. ok random people from the fillers i dont care about. naruto fell in the lake he picks up the bird feather interspersed with a couple shots of sasuke horgh. additional reading: paper bag by fiona apple
closer is one of the ones where im like eh its ok its not my favorite and then it gets to the chorus and my dumb ass is jsut screaming YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET TO SMETHING THE TOUGHTER IT IS TO REACHIT. the funniest part where narutos moping and thinking of sasuke and then he just perks up and smiles at the camera like. gay boy. like getting to see the asuma fight scenes in this op, also it was so funny seeing him get all the screentime in this op knowing hes about to die like yeah very subtle
SHA LA LA!!!! LOVE IT i love it i love it soooo much first of all banger second of all naruto looking into the water and his reflection is sasuke. lollllll. metaphor m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r the little prechorus bit in the middle gives me chills. love sasuke walking into the purple pool like a smug motherfucker thats my boy. at the end zooming into sasukes pupil zoom out it’s narutos eye oh the poetry..
signs another one of the ones where im like eh whatever its fine but not my fav but by the chorus i am standing on the table freaking out. like fuck jiraiya but this one got me a lil. the lighting and choreography of the sasuke itachi fight bit is sooooo nice and pretty, love getting to see all the new players in the story. baby ame orphans fading to the shot of yahiko as pain.. :(
this one literally makes me cry. i get chills what the fuck. definitely one of my favs. am i a bitch? maybe. i like the song by itself but like the way the rise/general shape of the melody flows with the visuals its like oh god oh fuck. again fuck jiraiya but like the role his character serves as a link between these disparate groups of people and the way thats used in this opening… how it starts and ends with him writing and this is the arc where naruto reads tales of a gutsy ninja and he learns about how he got his name and jiraiya wrote the book and hes WRITING and im going CRAZY!! i’m starting to tear up watching it rn. the shot of konan and the pains in that moment just before they leap forward. Sayonaaaaaaara aa lksasldfkwpoeifjhnuerIELFeuiertekdjsnlfweiourbg kakashis moment is cool in this op. also love to see the girls getting fight scenes in this op cus they sure dont in the actual show LOL anyway yeah im at the part where the melodys just hitting sooo different oh my god naruto frog eyes
DIVERRRRRRR. FAV literally like naruto is drowning. hes drowning and everyone is pushing him up so he can breathe again everyone is fighting to save him and thnen he s ouf ot the water and then he sees sasuke drowning and he JUMPS BACK IN. FOR ONE PERSON EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE OTHER PEOLE were working to help him out he dives back in for SASUKE whos drowning in the eyehole of obitos mask which is cool. ok yeah this is another one where im like tearing up because THe cymbal is em….. the way The movement of the visuals is choreographed with the song is so much. nico TOUCHED the fucking walls.
this one kinda annoys me i dont know why it just wasnt my favorite. love the sasuke and naruto staring at each other intensely moment though, would this be a shippuden opening without that. also the part at the end where sakura holds up her kunai and it like slashes and covers sasuke and naruto… inch resting…
newsongs so weird i love it. like what the hell is going on. why is naruto running like hes from some weird gmod video from 2013. love the LITERAL choreography, everyone dancing to the song like this is a musical. theres just a lot of weird moments which is fun. love sai naruto and sakura making the seal together to shoot lightning. raikage leaping gracefully across the beach
i do not enjoy this one. i just dont. it just feels like we’re bootlicking which of course we are because this is the war arc and everything is a nightmare
i remember seeing the first episode with this opening and i was excited bc its like… great another naruto pining for sasuke one this is what im here for. a light banger. minato manlet monday. ohh right this was the one where gaara sees his dad again and his OH I SEE SASUKEE
Banger! nico did indeed touch the walls again. i like that this one is like visually thematically consistent thru the whole thing, i like the nighttime dimly lit atmosphere with the bursts of brighter colorful lighting, also whenever i see tsunade i freak out. narutos cute at the end
SUCH A BANGER!!! also very cool visual style, appreciate it for that like the last one, its got that pretty consistent aesthetic with the red sky and the high contrast black blocking its fun and cool to watch. did i mention the song is a bit of a banger. obito passing thru the rock is cool too bad hes an idiot
ok from this one there were two lines i remember always seeing in the english sub that made me freak out. and one of them was like “this red hot love burning my heart” and it was over kakashi and obito fighting like damn OK. also the “i put the candle out with my finger” thing sticks in my head idk why. hate that we have the narutos big meaty claws i mean manly hands moment though. omg its hashirama and madara and then it CUTS TO SASUKE AND NARUTO IN THE SAME POSE LOL OK…
SILHOUETTE IS a banger… not as much so as some of the others but its a lot of fun. very colorful op, we got some naruto pining for sasuke, classic. also love the thing where ppl are running and they age as they do and they sort of grow into their present selves, a fun visual bit. the end where narutos like obito be nice now look at all these people behind me who think youre a meanie please be nice :(((((((((
another one with a really good visual principle ugh i love how the style of the show is integrated w the styles of more traditional printmaking its very swexy and nice to look at
LINE uugrgh i love this one, maybe a fav… naruto chasing after the light and sasuke trying so hard to snuff it out as they both reflect on their memories of each other oh god oh fuck… also i love the bits where it just has all the characters in a row like it reminds me of that one post about how in the endgame trailer they had a shot of all the female characters together to be like Girl power!! and someone was like yeah thats them showing u exactly how many women theyre going to disrespect LMAO but yeah i do love this op. also the song itself being slower w/ the triplet tempo is a nice change of pace
blood circulator hee hee… the version of this with naruto and sasuke moments is A Lot but even just the generic first version is fun. the part where narutos like knocked on his face hes sinking into the tar and hes not even trying to save himself hes just staring at sasuke, but then he sees sasuke distressed and he goes bijuu mode immediately like What did u say about my mans? there is some homoeroticism
i really hate everything about this i hate it all. sasuke is cute. thats it. ok first of all why did choji cut his hair his long hair look was so gooooooood. hinata bimboification? i mean if anything it was fun to watch these fillers just cus it was fun to watch kakashi be the hokage but really goofy and also the Crumbs tossed to the kakairus… but yeah i hate everything temari got bimbofied too like ugh please let her be a dyke :( this isnt even me talking necessarily about the opening this is me just being like i hate the naruto ending. LOL SASUKE AND NARUTOS NO HOMO BRO HIGH FIVE AT THE END LOLLLLL
ok im done
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