#!!!!! i fucking love them and god this is INCREDIBLE

[sogoodtoheritsvicious]

in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman

summary: harry sings your praises in a recent interview, and you’re back with new music; leading to a surprising dm.

pairing: harry styles x reader

vicious speaks: happy valentine’s day!! 💞 mr. styles has officially entered the story!! i hope you enjoy chapter 2 <3 i took creative liberty with one of the lyrics, just so they fit the plot!!

series masterlist

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liked by alexandrasaintmleux and others

hsupdates harry gushed about yourusername in an interview today!

“i just think she’s great. she’s an incredible songwriter and seems like a really down to earth person. she’s dealt with a lot recently and handled it with such grace. i can’t wait to see what she does next.” he said. when asked his favorite song by the singer, he said “hope ur okay. it’s so beautiful!” he also got really bashful when the interviewer asked if she’s his celebrity crush and he giggled and said “yeah…yeah, i’d say she is.” what do you think, harries? is a collab in the future?

view all comments

fan1 omgggg i know yn’s off social media but i hope she’s seen this!!

fan2 i hope it’s killing that man knowing one of his favorite artists took yns side in the break up

fan3 omg alexandra in the likes!!

⤷ fan4 alexandrasaintmleux please show our girl this interview!!

fan5 fuck a collab, is a RELATIONSHIP in the future???

fan6 he needs to stay far away from yn before she tries to ruin his reputation too

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux you sound ridiculous

⤷ fan7 alex said keep her wife’s name out your fucking mouth

fan8 i just know ynharrysthird is gonna lose it when she sees this 😭 she’s shipped them for ages

fan9 a ynharry collab would be so powerful

ynharrysthird oh. my. God.

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liked by harrystyles, lilymhe and others

yourusername *taps mic* this thing on? been a minute since you’ve heard from me i know. i had to take a break to focus on healing but i’m back and ready for the next chapter!! you all have been so, so patient and you’ve sent many kind words that have helped me more than you know. as a thank you, i’ve decided to release a lil somethin’…my ep wendy is available everywhere now! 🧚🏼‍♀️

view all comments

fan1 MOTHER IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER

yourbff i love you and i’m so proud of you 🥹

⤷ yourusername i love you 🫶🏼

oscarpiastri hey! so this is insane!

⤷ fan2 omg does this mean no one knew about the ep until now???

⤷ yourusername it was top secret 🤫

⤷ yourbff i knew 😌

⤷ oscarpiastri of course you did

⤷ yourbff you hate me cause you ain’t me

⤷ fan3 icon 😭

carlossainz55 do you want me to kill that guy for you, queen?

⤷ yourusername LMFAO

⤷ fan4 CARLOSDKFJGKS

fan5 this ep ruined my entire day but i wouldn’t have it any other way

mclaren 🧡 ♥︎ by author

harrystyles it’s been on repeat all day ❤️ congratulations on a fantastic ep!

⤷ yourusername thank you, harry 🥹

⤷ fan6 HARRY STYLES WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

⤷ fan7 he said he’s a fan in a recent interview! he even admitted that she’s his celebrity crush

⤷ fan8 harry please shoot your shot and show her how a REAL man is supposed to treat a woman

⤷ fan9 do we think she knows about him gushing about her?

⤷ fan11 congrats yourusername on being one of the few people to get harry to comment more than an emoji

alexandrasaintmleux in this house we eat, breathe, and sleep new yn music

⤷ charles_leclerc real

⤷ oscarpiastri real

⤷ lilymhe real

⤷ alex_albon real

⤷ maxverstappen1 real

⤷ danielricciardo real

⤷ logansargeant real

⤷ mclaren real

⤷ francolapinto real

⤷ pierregasly real

⤷ francisca.cgomes real

⤷ lewishamilton real

⤷ f1 real

⤷ fan11 well between carlos’ earlier comment and now this thread, we know who got yn in the breakup 😭

itsaria so. good. 💞

⤷ yourusername 💗

⤷ fan12 what the hell sure

⤷ fan13 dump lando and date each other

⤷ fan14 what in world is going on

fan15 not you making an ep all about lando after saying you’d never talk about what happened again 🙄 keep his name out your mouth!

⤷ yourusername i never said i wouldn’t sing about it. and just so we’re clear, his name doesn’t leave my mouth in a single song, which you’ll know when you secretly stream them later.

⤷ fan16 yn 😭

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yourusername has added to their stories

replies

fan1 omg we’re being fed so well

oscarpiastri running to yt as we speak 🏃

⤷ yourusername my #1 fan

⤷ oscarpiastri think that title belongs to mr harry styles if we’re being real

⤷ yourusername pls 😭

alexandrasaintmleux love seeing my wifey everywhere lately 💕

⤷ yourusername 💞

fan2 it’s been so long since we’ve consistently gotten content that i almost don’t know how to act fkgjfjd

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harrystyles has added to their stories

replies

fan1 so pretty 💕

fan2 this pic is very you

yourusername 🌸🌸🌸

fan3 don’t be shy, show us your face

fan4 enjoy your day, king 💞

fan5 came back to this after yns story…you two are totally hanging out today omg

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yourusername has added to their stories

replies

lilymhe can’t wait to hear how it’s going!! ♥︎ by author

fan1 pause……harry just posted a similar pic

fan2 omg sad i missed you ☹️ i was at that cafe yesterday!!

fan3 ARE YOU WITH HARRY STYLES RIGHT NOW FKGNVKS

fan4 you and harry linking up was everything i wanted but didn’t think i’d get

carlossainz55 🍿

⤷ yourusername ?

⤷ carlossainz55 don’t mind me, just sitting back with some popcorn to enjoy the show

⤷ yourusername 😭

harrystyles 🌸🌸🌸🌸

fan5 MY PARENTS ARE TOGETHER

fan6 pretty flowers 🥰

oscarpiastri interesting…very interesting 🧐

⤷ yourusername hehehehe

yourbff i would kill to see your dms rn 😭

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taglist: @pansexualdarling @mx13sworld @willowpains @nebarious @daemyratwst @angelluv16 @ggaslyp1 @hi26loveie @kikiki81 @eugene-emt-roe @nichmeddar @callsignwidow @harryssunflower17

[minkiverse]

JUNG WOOYOUNG FIC RECS

Poly!Ateez Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Kim Hongjoong - Park Seonghwa - Jeong Yunho - Kang Yeosang - Choi San - Song Mingi - Choi Jongho

Happy Valentine's to Ateez's biggest loverboy, Jung Wooyoung!!! My love for this guy knows no bounds, and he deserves all the love in the world!!!! Please make sure to visit these authors blogs and leave lots of love to them!!

DISCLAIMER none of these works are mine and majority are MATURE 18+, please read all warnings before reading!!!

Key:

✨ - My Favs

🔥 - Smut (MINORS DNI)

⛈️ - Angst

💗 - Fluff

🍑 - Humor

SERIES

Cache - @songmingisthighs ⛈️🍑 Chaebol!Wooyoung ✧ SMAU

Be ready to hate ateez and become a txt stan! it would be funny if i left it like that but truly the angst in this author's social media au's 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 readers be warned you will not catch a break adgffgdfhdfhg

Right Here Part 2 - @0097linersb 🔥💗🍑 Friends to Lovers AU

I'm obsessed with the banter in this fic, it flows so well and i literally had to put my phone down because i would start laughing adfsdgsfgfgdfg but goddammit is this wooyoung charming as hell 😩😩 mc is so strong for holding out so long 👏👏

Written in the Stars - @ennysbookstore 💗 Office!AU ✧ Ongoing

*BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL* ID DIE FOR WOOYOUNG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 it may only have one chapter BUT I DONT CARE I LOVE HIM SO MUHUHUHCUCUHHH 😭😭 he is just so sweet n kind 🥹🥹🥹

vivrant thing - @hwaslayer ✨🔥⛈️💗 Bestfriend's Brother AU

i have a soft spot for this series, because the mc hasnt been pining over wooyoung forever which i think stands out for this au 👏👏 like they just fall together like a cute lil puzzle piece 🥹🥹 and the sibling banter is extremely realistic adfsdgdfdgfg

ONE SHOTS/DRABBLES

One on One - @beginningofwonderland 🔥 Fighter!AU

Untitled - @kitten4sannie 🔥 Hybrid!AU

Untitled - @multiwreckedmess 🔥Roomates!AU

Drive you crazy - @sxcret-garden 🔥

first snow - @cheollipop 🔥💗

Study Games - @muntitled 🔥💗 Idol!AU

Marks - @last-words-ofashootingstar ✨🔥💗

I love brat!woo just as much as the next person, BUT soft domestic woo is my FAAAAAAAAAVVVVV!!!! like he is just so full of love that him in a relationship would be DEVASTATING 🥺🥺 also its more subby!wooyo so it feels like this was made for me adfssgdff

Sweet Dreams - @yuyusboyfriend 🔥 Friends to Lovers AU

realistic sex with wooyoung - @byuntrash101 🔥

Freaks on a Friday - @thisthatpinkvenom 🔥 College!AU

Untitled - @bandgie 🔥

Untitled - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Untitled - @cheollipop 🔥 Hybrid!AU

5:40am - @xuchiya 🔥

late night cravings - @cheollipop 🔥

21:23pm - @adoringsan 💗 Tattoo Artist!Wooyoung

bf texts w/ wooyoung - @beenbaanbuun 🍑

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid!AU

"i'm just bein' curious." - @teeskz 🔥

mirror mirror - @seonghwaddict 🔥⛈️💗

Untitled - @secretsecretbunny 🍑 Friends to Lovers AU

Strawberry Mocha - @pirateprincessblog ✨🔥⛈️ Barista!Camboy!Wooyoung

aaaaaaaaaaaah this fic 😭😭😭 if you like a side of pain with your smut you will LOVE THIS! ESPECIALLY IF YOU LOVE YUNHO😭😭 but god was this fic fun to read, just incredibly written dialogue, smut, characterizations, just everything was really well done👏👏

enemies w/ wooyoung - @beenbaanbuun 🔥⛈️

shampoo w/ wooyoung - @beenbaanbuun 💗

Whatcha Gonna Do About It? - @songmingisthighs 🔥

i like you, i do! - @sungbeam 💗 College!AU

Lock your windows - @mingtinysworld 🔥

Untitled - @baby-boy-chan 🔥

Untitled - @cheollipop 🔥

Untitled - @bunnliix 🔥

Birthday Surprise - @pocketjoong 💗

Mug w/ Jung Wooyoung - @beenbaanbuun ⛈️💗

after the game - @pantherxrogers ✨🔥 Baseball Player!Wooyoung

i will never, not for one single second, get over wooyoung in a baseball uniform like it changed something inside me 😩😩 and this smut is hot (i don't even fuck with daddy kink like that but goddamn 😵‍💫😵‍💫) but it ends super cute and someone needs to give woo some kids STAT

milkshake - @byuntrash101 🔥 Office!AU

Untitled - @sxcret-garden 🔥

marked - @igbylicious 🔥💗 Werewolf!AU

home run! - @vampzity 💗 Baseball Player!Wooyoung

Imagining Wooyoung as a girl dad - @redzie02 💗 Dad!Wooyoung

[15:41] - @songmingisthighs ⛈️💗

If Without You - @sorryimananti-romantic ⛈️💗 Friend to Lovers AU

Jeju Thoughts - @hee0soo 💗

Star 1117 - @sorryimananti-romantic ⛈️💗 Space Apocalypse!AU

Untitled - @gojosnympho 🔥🍑

how to tame a brat tamer - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Good Lil Boy - @sorryimananti-romantic ✨🔥⛈️💗 Royalty!AU

of course my fav bside would be one of my fav fics 😩😩 what really sells me on woo fics is banter I JUST LOVE IT!! i mentioned this in my reblog but this was a fic i read early into getting into ateez and it just hits even harder reading it now 😭😭 and with these two its just meant to be i love them dearly 🥹🥹

random bf!wooyoung texts - @sativateez 🍑 SMAU

sleepover - @kitten4sannie 🔥

Pull of Passion - @crimsonbubble 🔥

friens to fwb to lovers with wooyoung - @lxvemaze 🍑 SMAU

drive (me crazy) - @cheollipop 🔥

blood pact - @kitten4sannie 🔥⛈️ Vampire!Wooyoung

I Still Hate You - @starskq 🔥⛈️ Enemies to Lovers

Almost Home - @shadowkoo 🔥

Untitled - @intheemptymirror 🔥

Challenge Accepted - @mikrokosmoslove 🔥 Friends to Lovers AU

Just Trust Me - @wwooyology 🔥⛈️💗 Fox Hybrid!Wooyoung

Night Drives - @tinybeetiny 🔥

Untitled - @sxcret-garden 🔥

Xmas Dinner Goes Wrong - @hwallazia 🔥

random bf!ateez texts // wooyoung - @nightbeforethend 🍑 SMAU

very bad things - @frenchkisstheabyss 🔥 Mafia!Wooyung ✧ Stripper!Reader

Needy texts - @sugarbaybeetexts 🔥🍑 SMAU

[natjennie]

just watched conclave with my mom and um. that's a serve.

[spideysbruh]

busy woman

requested- need a Timothee social media au with sabrina carpenter fc

a/n- since the deluxe is out !!!!!!!!!

~

@y/n just tweeted- please.

@shortyn replied- so real

@realchalamet replied- please

@billiexyn replied to @realchalamet- WHAT DO YALL KNOW?!?!?!??

liked by tchalamet, tayrussell and 872,288 others

y/n i know i have good judgement...

view all 22,277 comments

tchalamet probably my favorite music video of yours

confidentyn WE'RE GETTING A MYSIC VIDEO TOOOO OH MY GODDD

dejavuyn LETS GOOO NEW MUSIC FINALLYYYY

lauriesvest IS THAT NOT TIMMY ?!?!?!!!!!

laylayyn the way she's flipping him off lmfaooooo

liked by y/n, tayrussell and 2,288,883 others

tchalamet toooooonighttttttt

view all 73,665

xmasyn these two never make any fucking sense istg

y/n tonighttttttt the minutes seem like hours

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet the hours go so slowlyyyy

itaintmeyn couples that don't make sense together, stay together!!!!!!!

liked by tchalamet

liked by tchalamet, billieeilish and 1,098,276 others

y/n tonight 😳😳

view all 32,117 comments

tchalamet 🥵🥵

historyyn AHHHH YALL ARE A COUPLE IN IT !?!?!!

ynsbeatbox CANT WAITTTTT

beautifulyn he's a CRIMINAL in it ?!?!!!

liked by tchalamet, florencepugh and 977,488 others

y/n can't wait to see you all and be incredibly horny every night 🫶

view all 87,288 comments

tchalamet ... i don't know if I want you on this tour anymore, babe...

liked by y/n

y/n it's too late buddy

changinyn LMFAOOO NO WAY SHE SAID THATTT

rachelynstan she's so funny bro 😭😭

noticeyn ILL SEE YOU IN CHICAGOOOOOOOO

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- writing about me?? 😳😳 busy busy...

@timmyandynupdates just tweeted- Timothée and Y/n seen in New York recently!

@starsyn replied- MY PARENTSSSSSS

@prettyyn replied- i hope he's there for the opening night of tour🥺

@ynsjuicebox replied to @prettyyn- me too he's always so entertaining at her shows😭

liked by sza, rachelzegler and 2,109,299 others

tchalamet this pretty girl's tour kicks off tonight. she works harder than anyone else i know. I'm endlessly proud of her.

comments on this post have been limited

y/n i love you.

y/n I JUST DID MY MAKEUP FUCK

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet sowwy :(

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler, billieeilish and 1,263,488 others

y/n one week down, nine more to go 😳😳

view all 76,177 comments

coincidenceyn PLS ARREST TIMMY FOR ONE SHIWWWW

lovethechals this out of context is so funny 😭😭💀

bobdylyn FUCK I WANNA GOOOOO BUT ITS SOLD OUT 💔💔💔

tchalamet wowwwww that first picture is so pretty, that person is definitely a good photographer.

liked by y/n

tchalamet best show ive ever been to

liked by y/n

y/n just posted a story!

caption- my honey beeee 🍯

liked by tchalamet, sabrinacarpenter and 1,432,488 others

y/n two days off, I make the best of them

view all 54,387 comments

compyn is that a collage of timmy ? 😭😭

y/n he goes to my work, I go to his 🤷🏼‍♀️

tchalamet how are you the prettiest fucking girl in the whole entire universe ?

liked by y/n

rachelzegler my pretty best friend !!!

tchalamet my busy pretty girl

outlawyn his comments oh god im so lonely 💔💔💔

liked by y/n, doechii, ellefanning and 3,009,199 others

tchalamet i hit the jackpot with you

view all 81,019 comments

y/n oh stopppp 🤭

liked by tchalamet

snoozeyn GIRL THE PICTURE SHE POSTED ON HER STORYYYY FUUUUUUUCKKKKK MEEEEEEEEE

acompletetimmy may a love like theirs find me 😭🫶🫶🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

liked by tchalamet, dylanminnette and 2,188,938 others

y/n performing or whatevaaaa

view all 81,198 comments

spideyyn HOW IS SHE SO GORGEOUS

timmyxyn i bet timmy took those last two pics🥺🥺

timmysgreeneyes how tf did timmy bag suchhhh a baddie bro

tchalamet stg i could spend every single second of every single day of my life with you and never get bored

liked by y/n

y/n 🥺🥺 i love you

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- 😍😍🤩🤩🤩😍😍🤩🤩😘😘😘😘😘😘😋😋😋😋😋😋

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 2,388,277 others

y/n why are we lowkey giving flynn and rapunzel

view all 71,477 comments

tchalamet you were my new dream 😔✊🏼

y/n boy stop imma cry

bobsyn the prettiest couple ever

dontthinktwiceyn can I be yalls nepo baby pleaseeeee

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- 🫦🫦🫦😋😋😋😋

*

[sleepstxtic]

Birthday Fic Reclist - NV-MD

Dear Ali @nv-md, happiest birthday to you!!!! <3 You are such a brilliant writer and the best beta and the kindest, warmest friend, and also such an important part of my (and so many others'!) fandom experience. I appreciate so much that I get to share this space with you and bask in your creative work, and be able to hang around in your incredibly uplifting and positive orbit <3 Thank you for all you do here, I'm so happy you're in this fandom, truly.

This is a reclist of some of my favourite Ali fics, and has some of the "Ali classics" mixed in with some hidden gems that I adore so very very much!!!! (It was very hard to choose a top 5 because Ali is SO prolific and has over 70 works on her AO3, all SPECTACULAR!!)

Let Me Take You Home | M | 1k | Ginsy

FEMSLASH MY BELOVED!!! This is a Ginsy that I rec SO hard. The characterisations are brilliant, and Ali's writing hits just right. Set in a fragile, post-war world where everyone is struggling to heal, and Ginsy find each other and learn to heal together. There is so much story and depth packed into just 1k words, and a beautiful repeating motif that comes together so satisfyingly at the end. BEGGING EVERYONE TO READ THIS <3

Draco Malfoy Absolutely Does Not Need to Be Loved by Harry Bloody Potter | E | 18k | Drarry

This fic!!! This masterpiece!!!! It is SUCH a sweet, funny, lovely fuckbuddies-to-lovers accidental bonding fic that just hits all the beats PERFECTLY. The pining is so sweet and delicious and the getting together is just the perfect amount of fluffy and heartfelt. The BEST read for when you want something light and fun that you can just sink yourself into and enjoy to the fullest. <3 (Oh and there is also some spectacular art to go with it!!)

but first, we fight | E | 8k | Drarry

THIS FIC OH MY GOD THIS FIC. It's a distinctly different flavour to the one above but is still equally incredible and such a riveting read. The Drarry dynamic here is ELECTRIC. LITERALLY IT IS SIZZLING. Fighting-to-sex at its FINEST! The angst is scrumptious and hurts so good, and I would recommend this so so extra hard to anyone who is looking for a spicy enemies to lovers story to kick back with <3 Featuring Drarry as extremely competent Auror partners + a host of delectable kinks. SO GOOD!!!!

Bite Me - Vampires All Day | 6k | T-E | Drarry

Cheating a bit with this one since this is a series and not a fic, but I can't help it!!! IT'S SO GOOD. Drarry as vampire boyfriends is DELICIOUSLY DARK. Another suuuper fascinating Drarry characterisation (Ali finds so many different ways to portray their dynamic, without ever compromising on what makes them them!). Harry and Draco are both so enticingly jaded and cruel. Reading about these murder boyfriends zipping around the world leaving a trail of bodies in their wake is something only Ali could make simultaneously spine-tinglingly dark and SIZZLING HOT!! Also, they write 1st person POV so good, and this fic is no exception!!!

Kiss Me, Fuck Me, Love Me | 5k | E | Drarry

One of my actual favourites from Erised this year, this was such a delightful and sexy romp. The non-linear timeline was so so masterfully done, the way we went back and forth until we converged on New Year's. The pining was so sweet (Ali's pining is always top tier! I'm such a sucker for it, as you can tell xD) and the getting together was CHEF'S KISS. Highly recommend this if you're looking for another light-hearted (and hot!) read <3

Eeeee once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALI!!!! WE LOVE YOU!! <333

[mikasaackerman728]

okay i know no one asked for this but i need to do this for my own happiness lmao

werewolf!charlie x afab!reader headcannons

(smut and fluff below the cut, this is honestly so self indulgent but i’m sure y’all won’t mind it)

• you only found out about it because he forgot to take his meds on a full moon day

• you were scared shitless

• i mean, anyone would, a giant werewolf breaking down your bedroom door in the middle of the night, howling and pinning you down against your bed would be pretty fucking scary if i do say so myself

• you only recognized him when you saw his eyes and the different colors of fur where the tattoo on his arm is

• “c-charlie? is that you?”

• he growled when he heard his name.

• you were no longer terrified, you were just incredibly turned on because…

• holy fuck it was big in werewolf form-

• with a knot and everything

• you let him have his way with you once you realized he wasn’t gonna kill you he was just gonna fuck your brains out

• snarling, howling, drooling all over the place

• you had a belly bulge-

• when he was done, he started to act more like a normal wolf.

• more of a dog, really.

• you gave him lots of headpats and chin scratches and belly rubs

• his tail was thumping against the bed while one of his back legs was kicking the air

• the next morning, Charlie’s mortified

• “i-i’m so sorry i didn’t tell you sooner, i just didn’t wanna scare you off, and- oh god, those look like they hurt! did i hurt you? what did i do?”

• “charlie, it’s fine, i loved every moment of it, okay? i was into it, and you didn’t actually hurt me. i promise.”

• “… was i at least good in bed..?”

• “oh, for the love of-”

• he just started laughing

• you bonked him

• after that, you started helping him have his medicine.

• some nights you would be a little freaky and wouldn’t let him take them

• other nights you happily cuddle him in his regular wolf form, and he just acts like an overgrown puppy

• he’s literally such a sweetheart as a wolf

• gives you so many kisses and will give you the prettiest puppy dog eyes whenever you’re working until you give him attention.

• “charlie. charlie, no. charlie! stop it! i will throw out your peanut butter, stop it!”

• he was trying to steal your giant slimecicle plush

•he instantly dropped it when you threatened the peanut butter

• you end up folding and giving him attention anyway

• “you’re a doofus.”

• “woof.”

• “fuck you.”

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Rings of Power

[at unicorn fuck club] GRR Martin: hey jrrt we just saw that peter Jackson movie CS Lewis: yeah it was pretty good JRR Tolkien: bleh Tolkien: they never make the hobbits hot enough Tolkien: there are entire shots where you can't see their feet at all

JRR Tolkien: god why can't anyone make a decent adaptation of my work? Tolkien: peter Jackson, ralph bakshi, rankin bass Tolkien: not a one of them understand the essence of middle earth! Tolkien: which is sexy, sexy hobbit feet Tolkien: big stinky hairy sexy hobbit feet

Tolkien: also whats with all these sexy dwarves? Tolkien: thorin oakenshield should NOT be a dime! Peter Jackson: yeah i guess Richard Armitage is pretty hot Tolkien: what? who? Tolkien: i was talking about hans conried!

Tolkien: look Tolkien: i only have 4 rules for lord of the rings Tolkien: ONE - the hobbits have incredibly sexy hairy feet Tolkien: TWO - the dwarves should be fucking ugly as fuck Tolkien: THREE - tom Bombadil is a capering buffoon Tolkien: and FOUR - we don't fuckin talk about the wizards!

Tolkien: perhaps my middle earth is just too epic to be captured on film GRR Martin: what about in song? Tolkien: is this about that rock and or roll music? Tolkien: i despise rock and or roll in all of its forms

JD Payne: hey jrrt you want a REAL LOTR adaptation? Patrick McKay: cuz we're making a whole series on the only platform BIG enough Payne: amazon prime! McKay: amazon prime! Payne: is it filmed like a mastercard commercial? you better believe it! McKay: cuz it's amazon prime!!!

JD Payne: oh you want Lord of the Rings? Patrick McKay: well you better buckle up, mother fucker Payne: cuz this ain't your DAD'S LOTR McKay: get ready to get POWERED UP Payne: with the RINGS! OF! POWER! [plays air guitar]

JD Payne: alright you guys ready for this? Patrick McKay: wut whut Payne: cuz it's time for McKay: RINGS Payne: OF McKay & Payne: POWAHHHHHH [air horn sounds]

McKay: check it out bitches its the rings of power Payne: a whole new grid! McKay: nothing like the peter Jackson movies you've come to know and love! Payne: totally unrelated! McKay: unless you want it to be related Payne: do you want it to be related? McKay: cuz we could

Tolkien: ok how is this adaptation different? Payne: we bimbofied Galadriel Tolkien: Tolkien: Tolkien:

Payne: but wait there's more! McKay: there's this wizard that fell out of the sky! Payne: this wizard is Tolkien: it better not fucking be one of those blue wizards McKay: Payne:

Tolkien: i specifically said NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT THE BLUE WIZARDS McKay: no of course not it's uhhh Payne: it's Gandalf McKay: yeah yeah that's the ticket it's gandalf

[bippityboppity69]

I just had the craziest theory about Merlin and I need to tell someone.

Putting my rambles below

Merlin is Dura.

I know! You're like "Bippity, what the fuck?" Let me explain, Merlin is part of Dura. Just hear me out on this.

We know Merlin is basically immortal. They can change appearance and live long lives, but they never truly stay dead, Merlin just gets reborn. We also know that they have incredible magical powers that seem divine in origin. On top of this, every god knows Merlin in whatever form they wear.

This means there is something about Merlin that let's every god know it is them. Their magic. The one divine in origin.

Now you may say "But Bippity didn't Merlin help overthrow the Age of Gods? How could they be a part of Dura?"

[Now I will admit I take a bit of Arena lore here. Also a cracky part of the cracktheory.] Because Dura loved humanity. She essentially helped create humans and it was stated how much she wanted to protect them. Dura could watch what the other gods, Hypogean AND Celestial, did during that time to humanity.

So she gave part of herself to humanity to protect them from the gods. A power that had to be able to handle both parties. That could protect [remember the shield around Ryeham], that could purify [The Tree In the Wilders area I forgot the name], heal the wounded. That could essentially be able to do anything.

Who would have that kind of power?

Now let's circle back a minute. Back to the gods recognizing us every time mind you without fail. How are they able to do this? To be able to see through any face, to know at a glance who Merlin is.

That would have to be a power that all know and one they remembered. A power so strong that gods have implanted the very memory of it into their brain. To remember one mortal for thousands of years and recognize them in a mere second? That sounds like a fear/love reaction to me.

I would also like to point out something.

We have apparently promised Dura something. Merlin was told to do something extremely important by her. Also, isn't it strange how wherever Merlin goes there is always something near world changing in the same area? Usually ones that are world ending or capable of seriously harming it?

It's almost like we are pulled towards them.

On top of all this, it seems most of Merlin’s reincarnations seemed to focus on the betterment of Esperia. Merlin has been everywhere, in every shape and form.

Let's look at all the evidence:

-Immortality/Reincarnation

-Near omniscient power

-All gods know us

-Has protected Esperia for years

-We better anywhere we go

Oh and let's not forget that the very God of Death himself now only knows us, but has a deeper connection to us. He not only speaks casually, remarking about "always being like this", but keeps a promise for thousands of years. One promise. For two thousand years.

Who would have that influence over the very god of death?!

The very opposite of them, a god of life.

In this Esperia case a Celestial, who has divine magic.

Hey, what type of magic did Merlin have?

There's a lot of red string between these pictures, but so many are similar.

You are fully welcome to comment wild theories or to call me insane. Both work pretty well.

[tree-of-growth]

FINALLY - THE LONG AWAITED “FRUIT CULT: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?” POST HAS HIT THE PRESSES!

It’s only been like. 3, 4 months since the saga ended so this is right on time fuck you! - It took a LONG time setting up interviews to record all this information ESPECIALLY since the majority of the ex fruit cult members hate me and I had to go undercover to procure them.

So, at long last - here it is!

The Tree of Growth / Fruit Cult: Where Are They Now?!

Apple is living their best life (for the most part) under the care of Allison in their shared home in Illinois. They have come out as nonbinary and aroace (and cut their hair!!) and spends plenty of time in therapy and at their local community garden, munching on apples and garlic bread. They also enjoy coloring. Oh wait- oh shit :/ the drywall got them. Oops. Nevermind. Rip.

Fig has joined an incredibly shady secret government organization and is working on an extremely top secret mission as we speak (probably has something to do with hunting down Mulberry though.) She and Cherry remain happily married and are making it work long distance.

Shrimp Man / Cherry Tomato has broken out of jail, hopped the border, and bought a beautiful cabin by the seaside where he will spend the rest of her days in (moderate) peace!

Lemon / Sadie is finishing her agriculture degree and renting a lovely house in the New York countryside with Polaris and their foster daughter Charlotte. They are in therapy and using gardening and animal husbandry to cope. She’s planning on proposing to and marrying Polaris for real once they graduate and settle down a bit more.

Lychee / Polaris is finishing up her astrophysics degree at Cornell with Sadie and Charlotte. She’s developed a particular interest in radio astronomy and has scored an especially exclusive summer internship that will almost certainly lend her to a fantastic career after graduation. They regret their time with the cult but can’t help but miss it, maybe - just a bit.

Date / Allison is currently fulfilling their prison sentence in community service as Apple’s caretaker! They reside in a small bungalow in Illinois. They’re desperately homesick and missing their family (and Percy) but is doing their best to take genuine care of Apple (but maybe not top notch. Who can blame them.) They regret everything :)

Cherry / Aura was deported to Canada and has returned to the Children of the Sun (very fun hippie commune). Technically they are jailed there but the hippies aren’t too fond of the prison industrial complex so I’m sure they’re vibing. Fig brings them “cool stuff that THEY CANNOT TELL the government about” from time to time.

Mulberry / Vrispeta is not dead!! After Area 51 they’re just trying to figure out what to do with her life. You can follow her adventures at @muppetjokernum8ereightfan ! I think she’s on the moon right now or some shit?!

Peach is in physical recovery after being turned into a quadparalegic thanks to Apple and is currently staying with his boyfriend while waiting for their prosthetics to come in. He is in a lot of debt.

Custard Apple has just woken up after a very long nap and is extremely confused.

Acai / Percy died of lead poisoning :( they’re out there rotting in the ocean, somewhere… - their ghost is likely haunting the shit out of Allison :) (Affectionate haunting, of course, nothing crazy.)

Starfruit has gone back to their normal life - but is still very dedicated to the Fruit God! He is also still posting at @squireofthegrove

Orange went home with her mom and is currently working on finishing her One Piece binge an hour at a time.

—————————

If YOU are an ex member of the fruit cult and have something you’d like to share about your life after that is not listed here, feel free to reach out and I’ll edit you in <3

But enough of those losers - What about me?! The infamous mysterious tog blog… Who am I?! Was I really just Lemon pulling a fast one on the rest of the group? Or was that only a facade ?? Am I an angel?! A crazy super fan?! The Fruit God Herself?!?

Heh. Wouldn’t you like to know.

I’ll continue posting here on occasion. Its members may have moved on but the Tree is eternal.., And I have many… many unfinished plans….

[notherpuppet]

Hiii, for any Hazbin art fans out there, I just want to say that I am also a huge Hazbin art fan and on my Bluesky, I reshare 🔁 a BUNCH of incredible fanart like deadass every day (there’s so many talented fans around the world).

This post was prompted by my NEED for everyone to see this beautiful chaggie knight drawing @/kamibbukuro made. The girls looks so powerful and beautiful I love it so much 😭🩷

[perpetuallyboo]

The posts ive seen about "I really hope the bad kids dont hurt the rat grinders :(" is giving the same energy as the hangman to fabian going "we should be nice to her cause if we just keep being nice to her then she'll stop being so mean!!"

[pigswithwings]

but genuinely if you default to saying that random people and things have psychosis as an insult. you gotta change that. you have to think about why you say that. "this is psychotic" stop that shit. "these people are psychopaths" stop it. stop it what the hell. come on. real people have psychosis you think they aren't already associated with negative things? you think that helps anyone?

[chasedeys]

Steelers' coaches on Burrow and Chase

[spookberry]

The endo and chika bios have me in such a tizzy, they SHARE CLOTHES, they live together. Chika wears extensions??? And endo pays for them 😭 they really are the messiest couple ever oh my god

[princessefemmelesbian]

Transandrophobia truthers are so damn racist and white oh my fucking god y'all actually piss me the fuck off every time you tokenize Black and brown men for your stupid as fuck "mra but make it trans-inclusive" ideology created by a creepy guy with a corrective rape fetish(something I'll never let up on for as long as I live, btw). If I ever see another one of y'all say "Black and brown men face discrimination because they're seen as overly masculine and that's why masculinity in men is oppressed in this society" I will literally kill myself. Stop using Black and brown men as brownie points for your bullshit arguments about misandry being real when you don't have the slightest idea how racialized oppression works. White boys are so annoying and dumb istfg.

@punkeropercyjackson @punknicodiangelo @pinkpinkstarlet

[landoposition]

i think i'll never be over backwards cap lando actually