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[sylvia0106]

If the disrobing of Draupadi, the Queen of Indraprastha herself, could take place—by her own brother-in-law, staked upon by her own husbands—in a court full of her family, her elders, what hope is there for us? Dhritarashtra, the blind king of Hastinapur, represents our government—the father of corruption, power, influence, everything that comes with it. Bhishma, the grandsire of both good and bad, stands like the gods themselves, silent in the face of wrongdoing. Drona, the teacher of both Kauravas and Pandavas, mirrors our karma—caught in the struggle between right and wrong. Kripacharya, the royal preceptor, respected but inactive. Vidura, the half-brother of Dhritarashtra and Pandu, reflects the clashes of neutrality, reality, and moral interpretations. Karna, the close friend of Duryodhana, one of the mightiest warriors of the time, embodies trust, loyalty, and hope—so easily misplaced. Shakuni, the mastermind behind the game of dice, represents those most corrupt, who stand tallest, placed on pedestals, leaving us with no choice but to be looked down upon. Dushasana, Duryodhana's brother, who attempted to disrobe Draupadi, is our law, our justice, our own constitution—those who should protect us but often fail.

And the Pandavas—Yudhishthira, Bhima, Arjuna, Nakula, and Sahadeva—bound by the terms of the dice game, symbolize the society we've built, leaving us unable to intervene, helpless. They are us—those who suffer loss, those who lose.

If such a tragedy could befall Draupadi, what value does an ordinary woman hold in today’s world? In Kolkata, we see this reflected in the horrific rape case—a young woman, just another daughter, sister, mother—stripped of her dignity, her safety, her life.If a queen could be disrobed in front of a court full of elders and family, what protection do the women of today have against a society that so often turns a blind eye to their suffering? What worth is placed on their lives, their bodies, their existence?

If this could happen to her, then what about us? The ordinary citizens, the normal people, the normal girls, the normal sisters, the normal mothers, the normal daughters. What value do they hold?

[sylvia0106]

The caution read these are really sour candies, having multiple at a time may make u sensitive to the taste. Well, I guess this sour doesn't taste near any sour life has made me taste. When you've tasted really sour thing, all other things slightly sour or sweet can give u no resemblance to it there is no comparison to it.

[sylvia0106]

My head on your static

With your mouth open, not forming words

You're the fond memory I keep revisiting

Your eyes having constellations,

Weting my hoodie with stars of the starry night

You're the fond memory I keep revisiting

Out of my blues, your blues and yellows I keep revisiting.

[sylvia0106]

Tonight I am a poet, writing words to feel you,

(As if I could find the rhyme or answers about you.)

Tonight I am a painter, crafting brushstrokes to capture your smile,

(As if I could restore the color that once adorned you.)

(As if I could resurrect your essence.)

Tonight I am a musician, playing for the rhythm of your dance,

(As if I could find the melody that defined you.)

Tonight I am a sculptor, carving the gentle touch of your embrace,

(As if I could breathe life back into you.)

Tonight I am but a human keepsake,

(As if I could soar and reunite with you.)

Tonight I am a perfume maker, seeking the scent of your presence,

(As if I could encapsulate the very essence you left behind.)

Tonight I am a wild witch, dancing under the moon for you,

(As if I could summon your spirit once more.)

Tonight I am a friend, shedding tears as a family does for you,

(As if I could fill the vast void you've left behind.)

Tonight, I feel diminished by the immense loss of you.

[sylvia0106]

If u don't work towards fixing it, remember they're always gonna be there working towards breaking it

~ sincerely your brain

[sylvia0106]

I hugged you in my dream and I couldn't let go it seemed so real that I almost cried. You were still you completely unknown to the fact of what has happened but I liked it I liked that it was as if nothing had ever happened that just like those every other days and months I could act I could only accept that reality that I learned to accept that reality. You know, I know, we know, it's all an act. You care, but why don't u ever care enough? Why didn't you?

Even now as I've left I grieve I still have you somewhere in my head thinking what you must even have thought. Silence is a twisted answer. Silence is never my answer to anyone. Silence isn't obvious or understandable it kills you from inside that's when you know that not only eyes not only how things are written in your face but the words that speak your heart out matter just as much.

I miss it, you felt like me. You picked me up, you were always there giving your hand to me while I was drowning only I'd never take it. You were like a feverish daydream like a cruel summer. The memories I've with you are so close to my heart memories where it was just you and me and nothing else mattered and everything else was just invisible. It was just two disoriented girls talking about life, boys, future and the past too. You made me feel so comfortable with my own self too. That you'll accept me no matter how I feel and no matter how clingy or overemotional I am. Us singing taylor Swifts songs, us listening to your favs and my favs in physics class laughing and vibing together. All the jokes you made how you always had a way made a way to make me laugh. My bed is a remembrance of you, my jacket which was yours is a remembrance of you my pens which were yours is a remembrance of you. Why is it that I leave and it's only I that grieves?

I wish you treated me better. I wish u made enough time for me out of your life. I wish you could be a better friend. I wish you could and still love me the way I did and do. Alas, that's not you but you that I always had in my head that always stopped me. The you in my head which really comforted me so much. The you which I've such great memories with. The you that I started thinking a bit of future with. I'm sorry if I hurt u when I left. One of us had to leave and I could've never be the one wasn't ever supposed to be the one to do so but it was needed. I could've always neglected my own self for you but I couldn't continue to keep doing it. I'm sorry that I was the one to leave first and soon. I didn't expect it to happen in the first place and almost ever. But I finally breathed. I finally had dimples in my smile I finally had calmness in my mind and so much burden lifted off my shoulders. I finally had myself again. It's easy for me to keep choosing you keep choosing others over my own self over my own heart over my own happiness over all of it because I've never mattered to me as much as others have but this time I choose myself I really actually choose myself and I want to and I need to keep choosing myself even stop this stop justifying all of my actions justifying my needs justifying my expectations and justifying even my feelings of hurt because I'm a human too.

Humans heart, humans leave, humans feel, humans cry. I thought I'm always a "supposed to be this, supposed to do this sort of person" but I shouldn't be I'm not supposed to be anyone or and do anything of what people expect from me what people think of me. Sweet good sensitive kind caring people can leave too, can cry too, can get hurt too, can get angry too, can hurt others too. And it's perfectly normal because it's human. And I'm a human too.

As a person that I wanna be now, as the person that has her eyes opened after such a long time that's finally choosing herself and seeing herself in the mirror not afraid or disgusted by her own reflection. I only have compassion to offer to you I've no anger I've no hate and I'm working towards having no guilt towards you. I wish my old self wishes I could still be your friend but my own self now knows that it hurt all these months all these days it ached and it ached so much and I had to still carry it I had to still live with it through it with not you by my side but my own shadows my own demons and my own inner child.

So my dear soulmate, I still love you I still think of you of us I can never forget the memories we have together and I can never hurt u any more or be hurt. Thankyou for giving me such sweet times in my life such sweet memories to always look back too it was genuine and for that I'm extremely grateful

Goodbye.

[sylvia0106]

I realize now that I'm not who I thought I was neither who people told me constantly and even do keep telling me constantly that I am. As if someone saintly at times as if someone who can never do bad who takes in consideration others feeling over hers all the time as if it's something really noble to do in this world. Like everyone else, I'm selfish too a Saint and a sinner both took me long enough to realize this. Had I not done any mistakes I'd erase myself to be myself. My own self is like everybody else too ofc there is a difference but just like every other human therein resides selfishness as well there in resides anger as well therein resides jealousy as well I'm no proud of it I could never even acknowledge its existence in me whenever it'd come out I was just being out of character that's not me that cant be me I was just doing things because I was confused but all these are nothing but excuses that is me like everybody else, that is me as well. I too have potential of doing really hurtful and bad things to be rude to be unpromising to be greedy to be selfish to be hateful to be a bad person per say. It's a part of me and I've not acknowledge it but now I just don't know who am I collectively? What word? What color? What feeling? What scent ? Who is it that I am What is it that defines me what are those three adjectives I can put myself in I'm at loss of words for that definition an undefined thing is contradictory just like humans too but naming it makes it less contradictory.

[sylvia0106]

You're what's left behind my love

~maidens of love

[sylvia0106]

I liked the essence of you , May that and all scent of you haunt or bless me forever And I'm roaming and wandering all along  Like an orphan searching for a long lost home she grew up to Yet I found home in you and it's terror I have never known comfort till I met you Not known love until I saw those eyes The pure brown hazel eyes mirroring so much of you in them Where do I find you? You told me you're everywhere I go But I can't even breathe with the air that surrounds me Give me your breaths to breathe

[sylvia0106]

" I made peace with loving you, eventually I had to "

[sylvia0106]

Your memories would haunt me your song Your voice Your lullabies someday will put me to nights slumber and keep me waking up late too. Haunt me, for once treat me like your own too come and haunt me.

[sylvia0106]

I'll remember you

When my heart is yet too fragile again,

When the thunder crashes and pleas for answers

When rain and I have no difference in falling

[sylvia0106]

I often then not pardon my miseries, Grey clouds hover all to often and " truth " is all that rains, Nothing but bitter truths, Redemn yourself they say but what are mistakes anyway? If commited anyway its a weird comfort to not redemn yourself over and over again, when you rewrite mistakes in hands over and over again, when you reap your own mistakes a consolation to thyself is nothing other then a disguise to be more then ever cruel to thyself

[sylvia0106]

Thank you @caterpillar1195 and everyone who got me to 5 reblogs!

You are what your parents are but u could be what your parents aren't but u still would have their smiles or maybe their voice or maybe their eyes if not them then their lessons or perhaps mistakes. A passed on legacy, the bits of quirks you have from your aunts or uncles, you're a mold of your ancestors and of so many people you do genetically or not connect with. That doesn't just make you, you rather you're no less then a miracle, a hope risen even perhaps a mistake a good mistake alas. Weather or not you were to ever happen or not, weather or not who made you happen you happened. What u came out of doesn't matter but what does and always will matter is you. You'll still have their glimpses in you but you're not defined by them and you never will. Broken houses broken people don't have to keep the legacy too broken and even tho it might seem impossible to do you start new you always do. The point is you don't have to keep being broken you can very much heal just because they didn't doesn't mean u can't just because they were bad you have to be worse. You too deserve things, happiness, love, affection and all the other things you wish for. You'll always deserve things it's a matter of fact weather you make yourself to be deserved of those. Only you get to define yourself things would always keep projecting and reflecting on you but the reflections and projections are nothing but choices. So choose wisely.

[sylvia0106]

2 AM Thoughts-

A letter to self

" wish I could leave you my love but my heart is a mess " well it's raining I'm not. I could be doing a million other zombie works then thinking out loud but well eh. Here I come to let it out but it's so empty. People like me break our hearts on their own and look for people to take those parts because we think it won't fit in here anymore so we give and give heart, patience, love, affection, understanding, ourselves " atleast I can give to others what wasn't given to me " " when you aren't fed love in spoon u learn to lick it off of knives ". It's a consolation to yourself. You don't want others to suffer like you did but in the process you not only make yourself suffer even more but also make them rely on you so yeah everyone suffers isn't that just great. The words that you say the time that u give the patience that you put through everyday with them won't make them your first choice, they won't give you what you are wishing for and you do know what you are wishing for and that too that it won't any nearly be fulfilled let alone to heard. When you give people just take and they always will. True someone would give you back too but to what extent? A giver is never satisfied yet too happy if they get the barest minimum of all. You feel the need to earn it to finally be supported loved cared for prioritized made seen and heard for but that's not something to earn. People would be people even the ones you trust the most the ones who never seem to take advantage of you who give u what you give them they too are nothing but endless noises of people. No one's gonna come to you and tell you that you don't need to do things for the sake of them to do the bare minimum for you maybe they do return what you did for them but the thing is you'll constantly keep doing things to feel worthy to feel important to feel as if you matter and they'll keep being okay with it. Who doesn't like attention? Who doesn't like efforts and understanding and patience?. A people pleaser would always be taken advantage of silently subconsciously because you don't set your boundaries you tell people they matter. The problem with this world isn't that everyone's bad so you gotta be bad there's no place for good and that the world changes you to be this person. The world the people your life your choices things will always keep happening and affecting things will only change if you allow them. Good people deserve good people but do they get them? Always? No. They don't but do they anyway deserved bad people? They didn't. Being good is good and it's always gonna be good no matter how polluted the sea is in front of you but being good doesn't mean you let the bad just coexist to you the bad to do whatever it wants they both are surely relative terms which depends on morality of person to person but good people is what the world needs however that's not the reason that you keep being what you are because people say they need you. In the mist of everyone you often end up forgetting yourself and that is just about backstabbing your own self the world does need people like you but not people like you to be used or taken advantage of. Your weakness is your strength it will always be and their strength is their weakness. Bruh I be talking all over the place. You deserve better friends and better people and a heart that isn't earned but given to you chosen to given to you. You deserve yourself who does take care of yourself I yourself who does care about her scars and her pain too. You deserve alot and you should get that alot. Saying "no" to a help to a need to a stranger or to a friend or to anyone alas is okay. People don't need to understand why u did what u did and why you are doing what you are doing they won't ever understand because they are too busy in their lives. Stop looking into others lives so you don't have to face yours.

Sincerely, signing off

Sylvia

[sylvia0106]

You are what your parents are but u could be what your parents aren't but u still would have their smiles or maybe their voice or maybe their eyes if not them then their lessons or perhaps mistakes. A passed on legacy, the bits of quirks you have from your aunts or uncles, you're a mold of your ancestors and of so many people you do genetically or not connect with. That doesn't just make you, you rather you're no less then a miracle, a hope risen even perhaps a mistake a good mistake alas. Weather or not you were to ever happen or not, weather or not who made you happen you happened. What u came out of doesn't matter but what does and always will matter is you. You'll still have their glimpses in you but you're not defined by them and you never will. Broken houses broken people don't have to keep the legacy too broken and even tho it might seem impossible to do you start new you always do. The point is you don't have to keep being broken you can very much heal just because they didn't doesn't mean u can't just because they were bad you have to be worse. You too deserve things, happiness, love, affection and all the other things you wish for. You'll always deserve things it's a matter of fact weather you make yourself to be deserved of those. Only you get to define yourself things would always keep projecting and reflecting on you but the reflections and projections are nothing but choices. So choose wisely.

[sylvia0106]

I guess we have grown out of each other?

Yet I thought of us as braids

Put into different sections yet it shares the same existence

Too homely, too much myself in the other

My heart somewhere still yearns over the space you've left behind

My mind still hovers over letters I've written to you

We intersected and drifted but somewhere in these shared memories shared scars given by to each other

We still do share the same existence

-enojoyed while it lasted