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Imp

RARE STUDY TIPS

1. write down how much you study over time, then write down how you did on the quiz/test. this will help you see the amount of studying is nessecary for you to get a good grade and fully learn the material!!!

2. make your study space smell fresh, preferably of mint. mint helps you focus and stay sharp. other good smells would be lemon, etc.

3. after studying for a long amount of time, go exercise for ~30 min. shower, get dressed, etc then review the info you had just been studying! you should come back fresher, and your brain is able to remember the info even better!

4. don’t always study in comfy/pj clothes. if you study a lot after school or classes, then it’s ok. but if all you plan on doing is studying for that day, for part of the day get dressed up! put on some business casual wear, that’s cute yet functional and do your hair, etc. this will put you in a “get shit done” mode.

5. after studying a unit/chapter, record yourself explaining it, as if to a person whose never heard of it. this helps SO MUCH. one, explaining/teaching helps you learn so much better, and two, you have a little video to review just before the test!!

6. study on the floor. if you have a carpeted area in your home, spread out all study materials, a white board, etc and study! it helps so much because you are comfertable and everything is within reach. do this if you need a break from desk studying.

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11 blocks

Have you ever felt like a thought can drown you and consume you entirely ? Not in a bad way, in an intrigued manner. Sometimes I'm intrigued by something and get so invested in that thought that i just keep thinking and thinking and I cant get any work done because my head is running 11 blocks per minute. The only way my head can get cleared is a work out or writing and formulating these thoughts. I'm happy the thoughts I'm having are stimulating and not sad. Progress.

Edit: it's actually existential thoughts

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Such a feel good song!

-Z

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A constant process

It's been a couple of months now since I've been fighting my depression and being proactive. If I havent mentioned that before, yes, I suffered from depression for 4 years or more. I went to a therapist last year who somehow helped me.

But honestly the change in my surroundings gave me a boost to a fresh start. It's not exactly how I wanted it to be and it came with its own set of battles. But I can fight harder now. The past few weeks were not that great honestly, if you scroll down you can see how negative the posts started getting. But its okay. It's part of the process.

Instead of breaking things or acting out I'm trying to learn to control my anger by playing video games or consciously breathing. Talking to people is usually the most helpful for me but you can't always rely on it. I have anxiety anger wherein whenever I'm anxious I tend to be hostile and if it builds up I say or do things I regret and dont mean. But sometimes I do. It's weird. I'm still figuring it out.

Months ago I said I'd stop calling myself depressed and broken because when you constantly tell your mind something it tends to act in that particular way. It's a whole thing, Google it. It's been working so far. Ive been training my mind into more positive thinking. When I feel low I try my best to snap out of it by watching something or exercising and mostly reminding myself it's just one part and it will pass.

It's easier said than done but it's part of the process. Be brave, train your mind everyday. Breathe. Tell yourself you can do it, start it and you will fulfill your goal/desire!

I feel good but I have a long way to go. Increasing productivity everyday is my biggest goal.

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the first step is often the most important 

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This is oh so important. I remember trying to do up myself and my mom was like don't grow up faster than you should because then when you're really 25 youll feel like you're 35. Enjoy being a kid while you still can. Don't grow up too fast kids, you'll miss being irresponsible and imperfect and not giving any effs.

Young girls really are pressured now more than ever to be seen as beautiful and sexy and perfect like IG models and whatever the fuck…..like that’s why you see “me at 14 vs 14 year old girls today” posts……….we didn’t have this constant stream of content like they do…..content telling us to be perfect and to have perfect clothes and sharp eyeliner wings that look photoshopped and shit like that….I mean it’s always been there but not like this…and while I think girls should be able to dress however they want and do whatever they want…..you have to take into consideration the fact that this all stems from a toxic culture where women have to be perfect and beautiful…now at younger and younger ages….and it’s really gross…and the media continues to sexualize and like…make young girls seem older and more appealing than they actually are idk the whole thing makes me so uncomfortable and it’s only going to get worse :/

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you go bitch. you write those notes, you make them pretty if you want them to be pretty. you make them messy if you like it like that. you eat healthy. you take care of yourself. you get yourself a bullet journal. you organize that shit like it’s no problem. you get those grades. you get that amazing GPA. the world is yours to take. raise your head and take it. live the fucking life. you mcfreaking go. 

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Cinderella “plot holes” I am tired of hearing about

“Why didn’t her step family recognize her?” Because royal balls were basically the candle lit equivalent of clubbing in terms of both lighting and sheer numbers. Even if they were right next to her, they probably wouldn’t get a good look, especially since it would have started after sundown. Also, she was the help; they probably hadn’t looked at her in years.

“Looking for someone based on their shoe size is stupid!” See above.

“Was he going to have every size seven in the kingdom try the slipper on?” Prior to industrialization most garments were made by hand to fit the buyer’s measurements, including shoes. It’s why poor people only had one pair. It’s a lot smarter when you consider that they would’ve fit her like a glove.

“You can’t run down stairs in heels!” I know this is a misconception resulting from historical revisionism and disneyfication, but high heels were not originally women’s shoes. They were worn by men. Women wore slippers, which were basically ballet flats. So it’s debatable.

“Glass shoes don’t make any sense!” Okay first of all, it’s called the suspension of disbelief, and secondly, they’re gold in every other version but Perrault decided to change them to something else expensive.

“She just went to the ball to find a man!” I know this isn’t a plot hole but listen. As the daughter of a widower Cinderella would’ve been running the household finances and acting as hostess if he hadn’t remarried. By demoting Cinderella to a servant, her step-mother essentially guaranteed that she would never escape the house, because the only way for her to escape and maintain her status was to marry well, and no one was going to marry a servant. It was essentially the historical equivalent of your mom stealing your college acceptance letters out of the mailbox.

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Source

More posts on the consistently feminist and awesome Terry Crews.

He literally writes books and gives regular interviews on toxic masculinity, misogyny and gender equality.

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Midnight rant #3

Hi folks!

Hjcjjdudkkid. That's how I'm feeling. Thing Is, I haven't been in touch with my feelings off late. Ive been burying them some place unknown. I don't quite know how to deal with them. I just know that they are feelings that resulted from situations that at the moment, I cannot fix or alter.

I'm just using my energy to distract myself with other things. Trying to be productive. Although the last few weeks have been the exact opposite. In terms of studying and reading at least. My head was all over and I was just whiling away precious time which i now obviously regret because I'm falling behind on my math schedule. It's been 2 months and I've only done 1 level.

That hit me hard. This is why this blog is so important to me. To give me a reality check.

I need to find a time in the day that I can solely focus on studying and only studying. Because that is priority No.1.

Gonna revamp myself and my studying routine this week and find my rhythm.

On the bright side I'm trying to get myself to exercise everyday. Mostly to help myself carry my own baggage. Literally and metaphorically.

I'm starting to feel like I started with too much. Focusing on one thing is easier than trying to do multiple things at once.

Thing is, Im putting good pressure on myself because these 5 years I'm going to be spending a huge amount on education that I could've done in 3 years with at a much lesser cost. Therefore I need to use these 5 years to the best of my potential and grow in more ways than one. I need to squeeze the shit out of these 5 years and reap all the benefits that I possibly can. Train myself in different fields so I can be content with my decision. Life skills and "growing as a person" would happen anywhere. But these skills and this discipline training that im trying to inculcate would not happen in the place I chose to stay for 3 years.

Ayt thanks for reading :*

xx

-S

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I think my new favourite colour is green. My mom told me long ago that, that was the colour I was drawn to as a baby. But now I often find myself drawn to it, in darker shades

My Brain

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“Say to yourself: I am not working for glory, but for the joy of it. One day - soon - I will be dead, and who will remember my petty little promotion to Assistant Executive Managing Sub Director then?”

-Five Star Billionaire, Tash Aw

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feel this in my bones

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BEST THING ON THE INTERNET

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Bad days #1

It’s officially turned into a bad day. Bad days are when my emotions get the best of me and I can’t breathe.  You know how I was all irritated and hyper until now? Yeah, it’s probably because I’ve been ignoring my feelings. 

Heartbreaks are a cliche to the world but to the person going through it its the worst ever. I’ve been ignoring talking about it here. But I dont have any choice. It needs to come out. I need to feel something, ANYTHING. Plus this blog needs to be real, there are good days and bad days and you have to see it all.  I’m writing this here not because I have no friends. There are people, who’ve been helping me out. But none of them have been through heart break. They dont really know how to help. That’s okay. I dont blame anybody. I just want to be heard out. You know? So I can cry and feel. 

I was in love with someone for the longest time. And by longest I mean close to 10 years. We’ve had our fair share of ons and offs. This time it feels different though. I havent been overly emotional and all over the place. I didnt go back begging him to come back and I didnt cry and annoy the shit out of the people who try to help. I didnt even yell at anybody. It doesnt feel real. It doesnt feel like anything. I dont know if its because im excited for the future or if im being in denial. If its the latter then its terrible and you know it. It seems as though they are at peace though. Which is understandable because towards the end I just turned cold and tried to find fault with everything. My bad. 

I’m struggling to type this out because I dont know what to say. I dont regret anything honestly. I think what’s hurting me most is us trying to erase everything there was. What’s hurting me most is that I was the kind of person who always believed in fighting for the spark. I didnt believe that it could just die out. I didnt think it was a possibility and I absolutely didnt think it would happen to me. I’ve seen it happen to my parents and I never wanted to feel like that. I know I know circumstances are different but how can love, something so strong it could change lives, how can that phase out. 

Or maybe it didnt. Maybe we just needed time apart to grow individually and make memories of our own and be separate individuals instead of trying to morph into one person. That’s good. That’s the healthy part of this break up But. 

Where do I go from here? Everyone talks about how great it is to have your S/O be your best friend. No one talks about how shitty it is to lose both.  Who do I send memes to?  I have so many clothes and pictures lying around I cant bear to look at.  there are times when im okay and strong and happy and cherish the memories for what they were to me. but. i guess it just sucks. sucks so much ive stopped caring about my grammar. it scares me now that we’re going to go out into the world and share what we had with each other with other people. or maybe we wont. maybe we’ll share other memories with other people and what we had with each other will be ours and ours only. i hope so. are these signs of denial? i cant tell. 

its so scary you guys. to begin again. to build bonds that take months and years. most of which arent even promised to you. 

i guess the promise of forever kept us safe. now that that’s non existent the world is a scarier place. it really is.

if anyone wants to be my internet friend, hmu?

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Futile Frustration

UGH GUYS 

Today’s been SUCH a terrible day. And it’s not like anything bad happened. It’s just that work has NOT been happening. 

I tried to sit down to study. I couldn’t focus. I tried to sit and do some art. Still didn’t happen. I don’t know what’s disturbing me. I feel very disturbed. Either I’m extremely hyper or just oblivious to everything around me. 

Tbh I think it’s the isolation getting to me. Like I love being alone no doubt but lately I haven’t been at peace to even sit still. I think this is the longest I’ve sat still today. Typing this. I just thought maybe slamming the keys on my laptop would help. I think it is. 

I don’t want this to become a habit guys. I’ve felt this feeling before and trust me it ends in a pit which takes a whole other process to come out of. I want to stay proactive. I want to keep doing things and keep being busy.

I was going to apologise here for leaving to get a cupcake then I realised I’m not actually talking to anyone. (Rolls eyes at self) DO YOU SEE HOW I CANNOT SIT STILL! WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT. 

I just realised my cactus has been poking me all this while and I was thinking it was a mosquito biting me. Smh. I really love my cactus by the way. It’s so pretty and pink!  

Okay. Point is. I need to find a way to get my peace and sanity back so as to have more productive days. I’m thinking of maybe a sleeping habit and yoga. Or maybe a walk outside. Some fresh air to clear my head should help. I’ll update you on how that all goes. I think having a goal for the next update should help. 

Goal :1) Finish that book you’re reading            2) Finish 2 levels of Math (there I told you it’s math. Idc honestly)