strvingoutorca

[strvingoutorca]

17th : 10 Minutes Excersize

[strvingoutorca]

Edit: This is so embarrassing but I gave up right after this 😭

I don't even know why but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. At the very least, I stayed in a very good deficit during this time and I'm going to start up again later today (the Tuesday after this week's log) But I'm also keeping my intake down. plateau is kicking my ass so I'm gonna kick back, stay safe out there gang

★ Exercise Log ★

Mon ☆ 15 Minutes

Tue ☆

Wed ☆

Thurs ☆

Fri ☆

Sat ☆

Sun ☆

Notes ★

Mon - Didn't excersize for 3 days prior because of Period blargh

[strvingoutorca]

Excersice Accountability Log !!

Sat ☆ 15 Minutes

Sun ☆ 13 Minutes

Mon ☆ 15 Minutes

Tue ☆ None

Wed ☆ 5 Minutes

Thurs ☆ 17 Minutes

Fri ☆

Notes ⋆

Sun ⋆ Tried to go another two minutes but I was pushing it too hard and I know my limits. I'll do better tomorrow - ✂

⋆ Hallo Ween :3

⋆ Sick :(

Someone got the days wrong on both the chart and the notes ??? Sorry :| amnesia going crazy. I definitely did this Excersice, but I think I did an extra 15. It doesn't count since we can't remember it. Starting a new log after Friday.

[strvingoutorca]

OH NO...

Ana + Testosterone is gonna make me fucking bald isn't it.

My hairs barely grown back since I shaved it off bc of Dysphoria :')

[strvingoutorca]

I love being a 35 year old trans person whos already medically transitioned in the body of a 19 year old trans person who's only *just* started Medical transition. In the opposite way of me too. like hello? /lh

- ⌚

[strvingoutorca]

♡ Updated Intro ♡

Cora ▪︎ 19 ▪︎ DID System ▪︎ Physically Disabled

Collective pronouns are He/They, we switch between We/Us and Me/I when referring to ourselves or our Body! Our collective identity is FagDyke, Nebulaaroace, and Zombieautismgender!

VERY Pro Recovery and Pro Harm Reduction

Things we mainly post are Excersice Logs and Vents regarding ED or other trauma/disorders. This is our private account, and a safe space to talk about things like this so it's not an excuse for fakeclaiming or any ableist bullshit.

Outside of this disorder my interests include Marine Life, Minecraft, Apocolypse Media, and Drawing/Writing/Roleplaying ^-^

Please note that we are not in anyway trying to romanticise this disorder with using Aesthetics and saying inherently Pro-Ana shit. We have had Ana since 13 and Mia since 15, and it's an ugly disease that's seriously contributed to our development of Physical Disabilities that limit our quality of life ontop of what was already there. We do not wish this disorder on anyone and highly encourage healthy alternatives because Starving is not 'Easy' and it does not last. It literally Kills people.

Our use of Aesthetics is solely a coping mechanism. If I don't romanticize my life then what do I have to live for yannow? I have to see some kind of beauty in everything or I struggle really hard to keep going. So obviously don't follow if it will trigger you and especially don't interact if you're recovering or recovered.

DNI

- DO NOT FOLLOW IF YOU SUPPORT ISRAEL. FUCK ZIONISTS. ZIONISTS ARE PIECES OF SHIT SCUM.

(And No, being anti Zionist is not anti semitic, take it up with my Jewish Anti-Zionist Partner you heartless dickbags, go rot)

- Basic Criteria (LGBTQ+Phobic, Racist/Antisemitic, Misogynistic, etc)

- Fatphobes

- Endogenics and their supporters

- Note: Anti Good-Faith/Contradictory/Mspec identities, as well as Terfs or Transmeds, count as LGBTQ+Phobic

PS. Fakeclaiming is Inherently Ableist ♡

STATS (In Pounds/LBS)

HW - 200

CW - 187

GW - 120

UGW - 90

LW - 174

[strvingoutorca]

Guess who's baaaack ✨

So here's a fast run down since I know no one cares ♡

I had two appointments and I've completed them and as of tomorrow once I receive everything from the Pharmacy, I will be on Testosterone. Tomorrow will be the First Shot of Testosterone ever.

With that I am terrified of losing weight, but also really *really* excited for fat redistribution and muscle gain. To ensure I loose weight or at least stay under 200 lbs I'm starting to work out again! So my regular Logs will be back soon.

[strvingoutorca]

I've heard a lot about 'starvation mode' and not losing weight. How could I find out how few calories I should eat to be able to avoid that happening and still lose weight when I can't exercise (medical issues)? I'm afraid that unless I exercise a ton I won't be able to lose anything.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and any 'advice' I give should be taken with a grain of salt. I am disordered and disabled, so. Here's ways I know to try and lose weight and get out of 'starvation mode' or otherwise a Plateau

Zig-Zag Diet - Raise your cal intake, as much as your comfortable with. And in the span of either days or weeks, change the intake lower and back up. This will stop your body from adjusting to one type of intake and halting progress

Excersize - Depending on your condition, there could be exercises you can still do. The ones I commonly do can be done laying on your back, such as Lifting weights while laying down, crunches, Bicycles. Some of these can even be done in bed but that's up to you. Look up what you could do utilizing the parts of your body that work.

Don't get discouraged by a slow in progress. Any progress is good progress. Don't push your body past its limits and stay safe please.

If no one else in your life cares, just know I'd be devastated to find out you got more sick or worse. take your vitamins and medicine. take care.

[strvingoutorca]

It's hard to restrict when I am with my partner 24/7. Like we genuinely spend every second of the day together, most times even when we have to use the restroom or shower we sit in the bathroom together.

I still purged twice today but it's just. It's getting frustrating. It's not like he forces me to eat, they're genuinely so kind and understanding about my ED. it's just the guilt of making them worry but honestly nothing is quite as good of an appetite suppressant like having CONSTANT trauma mems and feelings regarding CSA.

I can't even be in the same bed as my lover right now. I can't stop thinking about my sibling and fucking trauma shit and just. Whatever right? Can't change it can't fix it, might as well use it to help us lose weight ig.

[strvingoutorca]

sorry for not being as active on here still. Twt is just more poppin!! but I still love Tumblr I refuse to leave.

Ugh dude I'm constantly hitting plateaus and I hate it and I never know how to get out of it. I plateaud at 194, and now im stuck at 189, how do I fix it !! raaaah!!!

[strvingoutorca]

Exercise Tracker: Week 5

Day 1 ❅ 20 Minutes

Day 2 ❅ 7 + 5 Minutes

Day 3 ❅ 2.5 hours (swimming)

Day 4 ❅ Missed

Day 5 ❅ Missed

Day 6 ❅ 5 Minutes

Day 7 ❅

Notes:

Day 2: Hoping to get in more exercise before midnight, just running on low energy as I'm 3 days in to a fast. // Didn't do as long as I wanted but again my energy is so drained I'm mainly focusing on ignoring hunger pain and food cravings atm. its definitely starting to feel like an excuse tho :/ I know I can do Better.

Day 4: Had a bit of a mental health crisis last night so I didn't work out, but I still lost weight? So it's not a big deal. Will be back to it today - written on day 5

Day 6: Been having horrible mental health crisis and it feels like our progress entirely reset in terms of how much exercise our body can handle so I am trying to ease myself back into things.

[strvingoutorca]

I don't know if any of this shit is real, it feels like a fever dream. Quite literally when you account for how hot my face is after working out for only 30 minutes. Bones are shifting and popping when they shouldn't be in this body that sure as hell aint mine. Then again why should I give a shit if this body is in pain when none of this is real anyways, that's why I worked out for 30 minutes despite things shifting out of their fuckin joints. Could have done more. should have. But fuck it, I don't care. -Shane.

[strvingoutorca]

Happy Pride Month, I found out I'm Asexual today and it is the most soul crushing heart wrenching bittersweet realization I've had since I found out I was adopted. Literally the feelings and thought process were nearly identical. So. Yay me ig?

Ace Pride ♡

[strvingoutorca]

Been inactive as shit on this and my Twitter lately sorry about that :/ so much fucking shit has been going on so I'm just coping by letting my ED consume me whenever I can. Started a fast with a goal to beat my longest. The goal is 120 hours, since 118 was my longest.

I don't condone fasting for that long, I just. need to. It is the only way I know how to cope. It helps that the constant abuse makes it hard to be hungry

[strvingoutorca]

Exercise Tracker: Week 4

1 ▪︎ 15 Minutes

2 ▪︎ 15 Minutes

3 ▪︎ 10 + 10 Minutes

4 ▪︎ 9 + 5 Minutes

5 ▪︎ 19 Minutes

6 ▪︎ 30 Minutes

7 ▪︎ Rest Day

Notes -

Day 2: My bones were constantly shifting in my joints and also popping slightly out of place so I am in. So much pain.

Day 3: I plan to do a second workout today so hopefully I can get in a total of 20/25 minutes. - Later now and I did it. Feels very good, but I am exhausted lol.

Day 4: I don't really round up unless it's like 56 seconds away from the next minute and I finished at 9 minutes on the dot and I'm fasting so I'm conserving my energy for another 10 minutes tonight // Edit. I ended up binging and the exercise was making my heart and joints act up :| I literally wanna kms because if I gain I will not know what to do with myself. I can't keep this shit up if I just keep failing.

Day 5: I stopped at 19 not 20 because it genuinely feels like my heart is about to explode and I'm about to vomit water lol

Day 6: Funny how shit gets done when there's a Real Man in charge. -Shane

[strvingoutorca]

Exercise Accountability Post 3

Day 1 ▪︎ 10 Min.

Day 2 ▪︎ 6 Min.

Day 3 ▪︎ Missed

Day 4 ▪︎ 15 Min.

Day 5 ▪︎ Swimming - 2Hrs

Day 6 ▪︎ 5 minutes

♤ Rest Day ♡

Day 2 Notes: Depression is still kicking our fucking ass. The fact that I exercised at all is a fucking blessing. I wanna fucking kms. -Callie

Day 3 Notes: We experienced a very bad episode in our mental health and during all the switches we didn't have time to exercise before midnight struck :(

Day 6 Notes: I was going to not allow us a rest day because we missed a day but honestly I think causing us more stress will only make working out harder, PLUS we did 10 sit ups in a row. Not 5, rest, 5. Just 10 in a row and then did 10 more a few minutes later so. Fuck it, we have done amazing progress. I don't wanna hate myself and beat myself up everyday for not being the best at something we only started doing 2 weeks ago.

[strvingoutorca]

Got off track for about 3 days due to a lot of stress and new splits. Starting today we are getting back on track, hopefully our progress isn't set back seeing as we had finally got down to 190 lbs before the stress and resurfacing trauma :/

-Callie