sr-sam-bodypillow

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

im TRYING to write alpha!ebbz x omega!kaif smut for funsies but the adhd and trying to figure out how to describe girl dick is KILLING ME

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

12 hr drives are nightmarish especially when you're stuck in the moving torment capsule thinking abt streamer dick

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

thinking abt a bit of kaif x reader because why not

you've just flown over to see him after literal months of being away, you're in a relationship w/ him and all that but the two of you are keeping it quiet at the moment and on the drive home he just can't keep his hands to himself, gently gripping your thigh and slowly moving his hands to the inside of your thighs and upwards. the traffic is not helping the situation, cause he's just getting more and more irritated at everyone's shit driving and increasingly flustered because he wishes he could touch you more you two haven't seen each other in AGES but he has to focus. he leans in to make out with you a few times and then pulls away with a growl because oh my god if you're all going to stop at weird times can it at least be long enough that he can kiss you and not just long enough that he thinks he has time and then nope he doesn't and everything is really starting to piss him off, and, well, you're not exactly helping. it's incredibly easy for you to tease him back, flirting with him and letting your hands wander till there's a noticeable tent in his pants and he's squirming, breathing heavily, scrunching his eyes shut whenever the traffic's bad enough to stop them in a desperate attempt to take his mind off of things. he's not doing a good job, but he is trying. soon as you two get home he's all over you, arms pulling you in close as he kisses your neck, grinding up against you desperately as his hands fumble to take off your clothes and you have to help him out. the two of you don't even make it to the bed and just end up fucking on the couch, desperate for physical contact with one another after so long

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

geniune question rq. but is tumblr actually showing some of y'all my posts? feels like its not

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

if i wrote a plot and porn fic. would y'all read it. cause i had a weird idea about eldritch!kaif and ebbz (lots of tentacles)

the tl;dr of it if i never get around to writing it is sex with a shapeshifting eldritch alien. horny and silly. yeah. ebbz girlboss monsterfucker arc

anyway his weird eldritch species are slowly crossing over into our world and they visually sometimes look like hikaru from the summer hikaru died where they melt and thats how they typically attack people (and replace them after. eating them smiles) but also if they experience any strong emotions they split open based on whatever emotion it is.

ebbz is someone who's trying to hunt these weird bastards works for the government and everything cause the equipment's kinda expensive, she's muscular and everything with a lot of scars and has seen some shit and then finds out her new boyfriend has been one the whole time when he gets too flustered and splits open because she was too hot

at first she's horrified, disgusted filled with grief and convinced that this 'kaif' has eaten and killed the original one and then she really quickly figures out no he hasn't, this is a face he made himself and she's just missed the fact that his moles keep moving eeeever so slightly (he forgetssss :< ) and that he's also. so hopeless. not a threat at all.

anyway she uhh reaches in to grab his distinctly colourful tentacle-y somewhat liquid insides at first after cornering him in the bathroom (he's trying to shove it back in. it is Not Working,,) because again she's going full attack mode and thats how THEY attack humans, and then he throws his head back and full on moans because his emotions affect what the internal limbs do and he's only falling apart like this because he's really horny so he's super sensitive. brief moment of embarrassment from both of them cause ebbz is like "???????????? okAY??" and kaif doesn't have the courage to admit that This Has Never Happened What The Fuck (also keep going pleaseeee pretty please)

kaif's just. pathetic. ebbz decides after this "oh i NEED to rail this stupid alien" and gets to doing just that admiring his whimpering the whole time and how he's trying verrry hard to hide his face but his tentacles are incredibly eager and keep trying to get under her clothes and rubbing themselves up against her hand when she reaches out to touch them because he just needs any kind of friction at this point and he can't hide how much he actually really fucking wants her and even if he bites his tongue to stop moaning he can't stop purring and bucking his hips legs trembling uncontrollably as he arches his back when she plants a wet sloppy kiss against one of his thicker tentacles and moving to push it deeper down her throat, looking up at him and... well, she's trying to make eye contact but he's too busy sobbing and squirming give him a break he's never felt like this before in his life

it's very intimate and gentle, ebbz taking care of him in ways he really couldn't have believed would ever happen to him. she moves in closer, leaning on him a bit, smirking at him when his tentacles move on their own accord to slither underneath her shirt and pulls down her pants, gasping slightly as one of the tentacles slides inside of her with little trouble, moving slowly. kaif's incoherent by this point, hands becoming progressively more inhuman as he desperately grabs onto her hips, ...and then cups her face at the same time whilst holding her hands because huh extra pairs of arms and hands. neat. it's definitely very messy, and they go on like that for quite some time, ebbz ends up coming quite a few times because the tentacles are really fucking good and keep hitting her in just the right spots

then kaif finishes and unfortunately for him that's a strong emotion (and the first time he's done that!) so he uh melts a lot more and they both panic and just toss him in the bathtub so he can lie down for a bit without ruining the sheets as he slowly pulls himself back together.

and yeah there is plot there's lots of plot but im dancing around that now cause i just wanted to share the sloppy kaebbz tentacle makeout sex with y'all, but basically kaif helps out with ebbz's job as he's considered an outcast for being so, uh, 'intimate' with humans (he was already an outcast before the messy sex they consider any kind of positive interaction with a human not for the purpose of hunting to be 'intimate'. if they ever learnt he Fucked a Human and he did it like THAT they'd turn into fucking dust okay) and the continued attacks from them are actually messing with a lot of things especially for the increasing amount of outcast mimics (ig thats their name now) who're trying to stay with humanity. so. they collaborate, fix things solve a few mysteries and fuck nasty on the job because there's no way in hell they're gonna make ebbz risk her life for THAT hourly rate when her boyfriend is within kissing range (she gets a payrise dont worry) and they can't fire her because she's the best at her job

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

had a staif idea

[tw, age gap, Toxic Yaoi]

its a bit complicated but basically kaif and stan have a one night stand a few days before egx. also there's a bigger age gap between them, just by a few years (stan 20, kaif 33/34) but enough that kaif was in highschool when stan was born and he points that out to stan after they meet at a gay bar and then follows straight into calling him a nasty slut and maybe feeling him up in public and letting his hands wander under his clothing cause he's a bit of a perv when stan still clearly wants to fuck him bad. theyre both definitely drunk when they head back to a hotel room to have very kinky questionably toxic sex, kaif taking the lead as it's stans very first time and yes, kaif does degrade stan more once he learns he's a virgin, purring in his ears about how desperate he must be if he's stumbling into the nearest bar already a bit drunk with pants that are too tight and making him look downright obscene and letting the first man who squeezes his ass fuck him silly and use him like a cocksleeve even if he's waaay older than him. kaif does a lot of things, and he's kinda forceful and a bit possessive even though it is a one night stand. was thinking he'd maybe get stan to call him something else (was thinking something along the lines of like. sir. yknow. position of power. roleplay.) and slaps him at one point when stan slips up and uses his name, gripping his chin harshly and telling him that he needs to listen and be more careful or else kaif's going to have to punish him. stans absolutely ruined by the time kaif's through with him, covered in bruises and moaning hopelessly as kaif uses the younger man however he pleases.

when he wakes up the next morning, kaif's gone. there is no soft aftercare. he didnt even leave his number, but he did have the foresight to pay for the room. (kaif actually wanted to leave his number he geniunely forgot and he got really upset when he realised he did)

a few days pass. stan can't stop thinking about that night, can't stop having honest to god wet dreams about how kaif choked him and stared down at him, can't stop getting turned on by the marks all over his body whenever he looks in the mirror.

kaif's the same. he can't stop thinking about how good he was, how beautiful his eyes looked when he was absolutely fucked out of his mind, how pretty he sounded. funnily enough, kaif's the only one embarrassed by the age gap- stan doesn't give a shit- so he feels pretty bad after realising he might actually feel things for the man past a one night stand.

and then the two of them go to egx and meet up with their online friends and have to play dumb and act as if stan didn't lose his virginity to kaif four days earlier because they both used pseudonyms, had never seen photos of the other and were both a Bit Drunk so they geniunely didnt fucking realise until now.

but, hey. least stan's got his number now!

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

was thinking a bit about yandere!ebbz x kaif. warning really dark, gaslighting medical whump/abuse stockholm syndrome kidnapping stalking manipulation conditioning and the worst thing of all FUCKING RICH PEOPLE below

everyone already knows im a professional subby kaif enjoyer and this is no different and im sorry but i feel like it would be extreme petplay.

in this scenario ebbz has an offensive amount of money so that she can work from home and live far enough away from people in a big house, ceo or something silly idk. the point is she is isolated and has resources. lots of them.

and one day, out in the city, she sees kaif and instantly know she needs to have him on his knees. she needs him to rest his pretty head on her knees and stare up at her with those beautiful eyes as he begs her to touch him, nothing in his mind other than being hers. she needs him, whether he likes it or not.

and, well. she's always wanted an obedient pet.

she bides her time at first, solely because she knows she needs to find out what the best enviroment for him is, what foods he likes, how best to keep him safe.

during this time she also thoroughly plots the best way for her to train him.

slowly, she begins to isolate him and make him feel distinctly unsafe. she wears clothing that completely masks her identity and lets herself be spotted stalking kaif, geniunely terrifying. he begins to lose sleep, and his friends (none of them sr) begin to grow distant as he becomes erratic, paranoid, and seemingly delusional as ebbz abuses her resources to make the police completely brush his worries off when he reports it.

ebbz breaks in a few times, either simply to scare him or to taint all his food with different substances to intentionally fuck with his emotions and capability as a person, causing him to lash out unpredictably with sudden bursts of anger or miss days at a time through excessive sleeping

by this point kaif is terrified and alone. he's gone and lined up a doctors appointment because he geniunely thinks he's got a fucking brain tumor or something with all these supposed hallucinations and violent mood swings

he doesnt have to worry about it, though.

he gets fired from his job for something he didnt actually do, having supposedly violently assaulted a coworker so bad they needed to be hospitalised. he didnt do this, but he's beginning to doubt his memory so much he just assumes he did and breaks down in his apartment because how could he? whats happening to him?

its now that ebbz steps in directly. of course, all of this was also her putting kaif ij juuust the right spot physically and mentally so that he'll be more receptive to his 'training', but now its far more direct

he recieves a notice about an experimental medical trial (ebbz runs a medical company for plot reasons so she has access to experimental drugs) for whatever he was falsibly diagnosed with up at ebbz's isolated mansion, and desperate for change, kaif signs up

he heads there on the day and its only him. odd.

ebbz greets him, and gets him to sign a short waiver before leading him off to a sterile room and giving him an injection

its just a sedative, but whilst kaif's out she implants a tracker into his skin

when kaif wakes up he's completely naked (ebbz doesnt really think he's going to need clothes) except for a specially designed custom made collar around his neck, and ebbz tells him that she's so happy he agreed to sign that whole contract

kaifs insanely confused and ebbz essentially tricks him into believing he's willingly signed a contract which basically means hes going to be her property/pet now for the rest of his life, and she gently assures him that he'll be safe and oh so dearly loved whilst he begins to panic

from there ebbz does a lot of things to him

she chains him down underneath her desk blindfolded and forces him to eat her out for hours till his knees hurt saliva running down his chin his face and the blindfold wet from how she keeps shoving his face into her

he ends up getting given a lot of experimental drugs that just make his body more sensitive and mind more pliable

also a fat ass because what is the point of going through all this trauma and not having the dummy thick muscled thighs to show for it (its an unexpected side effect. ebbz loves it.)

she slowly starts to condition him

main way is pavloving him. she plays wirh him and makes him cum a lot, but each time she does she takes great care to introduce some other stimulus right as he finishes depending on how she's doing it to make his brain connect that specific thing to orgasming.

there's a handful of different triggers based on the different ways she likes to play with him.

a clicker (like for dogs) for the vibrator, which she clicks right next to his ear each time he cums from it (this trigger sets in the fastest), a very specific scented candle for whenever she uses her hands to jerk him off, pressing her nails into his spine whenever she pegs him, a musical chime whenever she fingers him

eventually, she begins to introduce these triggers into his normal enviroment and the result is as expected. whenever he registers them, his brain assumes he's going to cum soon and he gets incredibly horny as a result.

she sets up a new clock in her office which sounds uncannily like the clicking sound of the clicker causing him to get a hard on every single time he walks in to see her

she starts leaving those candles around the house to catch him off guard, pressing her nails into his spine whenever she's leading him somewhere in the house, hanging up windchimes with the same tune

that combined with the experimental stuff ebbz is giving him is the result of kaif turning into a constantly needy, horny mess

the aforementioned experiments make it basically impossible for him to lose an erection if he doesnt cum (no cold showers), but ebbz doesnt allow him to get off unless he asks. every day he has to pathetically whine at ebbz's door until she lets him in, gently bringing him into her lap and purring into his ear, asking him whats wrong as his pre leaks onto her thighs and ruins her pants, and he has to beg her to let him cum

he's so confused as to why hes suddenly become so horny all the time (give him a break he doesnt know what a pavlov is) and ebbz just coos about how this is proof he needs someone to take care of him and train him because he's such a messy, slutty little thing who can't help himself and you just need to be fucked senseless, don't you, kaif?

she trains him to respond to commands, and with a single word she can have him inbetween her thighs using his tongue to make her feel good or sit by her leg and let her gently play with his hair and pat him whilst she focuses on something else

its not long until he's completely underneath her thumb. hes not too fussed about being her pet- its amazing, actually, and he cant really think of why he'd ever want anything different when ebbz takes such good care of him

she even ends up letting him leave the house by himself because he's so well trained that they both know he will always come back to her no matter what

might write a whole multichap thing on this i love this idea who knows, or more yandere!ebbz i love her being insane

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

heh. thinking abt staif

thinking abt stan being chained down to an altar in the woods as a 'sacrifice' for the local terrifying monster, who is kaif. he's just goblin kaif but he's geniunely terrifying/monsterlike with sharp teeth, long claws, yellow eyes that pierce through the darkness like a flashlight beam and a towering physique.

the local village is Very scared of him and continually sacrifices outsiders who pass through to him on the full moon and kaif, who as an honest to god monster doesn't get much chance to go out and hunt, is pretty happy with the free food. one day they sacrifice stan who's just a silly little cat hybrid passing through, and kaif decides maybe (just maybe) he doesn't want to eat this one and instead rails him silly, thighs bruising from where they're slammed into the stone structure, wrists aching painfully as the tight chains fail to give way (until kaif snaps them for him- wouldn't want to break his new gift too much), back covered in angry bleeding scratch marks eyes filled with tears of overstimulation as stan doesnt know if he can handle how rough he's being with him, the size difference between them (stan's still tall its just kaif is Monster Sized) being big enough that there's a noticable bulge in stan's stomach every time kaif slams into him, insides quite literally being rearranged (he's fine) but somehow none of this is unwanted- stan loves how it hurts, desperately pleading with kaif for more, and he's more than happy to oblige, his long prehensile tail almost instinctually wrapping around stan's sore wrists to hold him up like he's been tied up

the aftercare afterwards is very soft because of course it is

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

okay so. idea inspired by that quote i posted earlier. it's omegaverse but hear me out chat.

alpha!stan (HEAR ME OUT) at a bar playing card/betting games and absolutely steamrolling everyone else, omega!kaif rocks up and tries to beat him. it ends up getting flirty and kaif gets progressively more and more annoyed as stan is somehow completely oblivious to his advances but is flirting back somehow??? (stan moment, accidental flirting) he's also somehow not reacting to kaif's scent and how notably aroused he is so kaif's basically falling apart in his seat and stan's just ":)" because unbeknownst to kaif, stan got his nose smashed in as a kid and it never healed right so he basically cannot smell ANYTHING unless he's putting his nose up directly against it. so he's genuinely clueless until kaif drags him away to angrily make out with him and then kaif hard powerbottoms stan and sits on his face for like an hour

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

god i cant post clips here without snitching on who i am so i just have to transcribe them for yall but this is living RENT FREE in my head (from recent liars bar vod)

rob: you two need to stop flirting over there

stan: i don't.... i don't know how to flirt

kaif: yeah stan, c'mon. i'm already wet

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

i need to start tagging my shit properly so i can actually find it el me ay oh

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

yknow. i fuckin' joke. about dogboy kaif. but like.

apparently when he and ebbz went to Amsterdam they decided to try a weed brownie not knowing how much was in there and they both ate a full one i think and the answer was apparently Too Much and ebbz had to (and this is a direct quote) "excessively stroke" him for several hours cause that was the only way he felt comfortable.

he got too high and he needed headpats.... im screaming.

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

SCREAMING FROTHING AT THE MOUTH HGRAAGAGHHGHGHHHHH SSHSGDGGFGDSG

(warning: shirtless sam. the picture is like way fucking bigger than i thought it would be lmao)

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

Some of you might think im just a sex obsessed freak. Well i am. Youre following a pervert. Have a nice day.

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

had a sillier kaebbz idea

yandere!kaif finally, after so long, making the moves to kidnap ebbz to bring her to their brand new home. everything is in place, and he takes her there after knocking her out with some sleeping pills hidden in her favourite food and drink, gently carrying her to his car and driving away. once they get there he reluctantly ties her to the bed after stripping her down a bit (neither of them are going to need clothes very soon) before going off to cook dinner for the both of them. when he comes back, ebbz is awake. he moves towards her, soothing her and promising her that everything is going to be okay, not noticing that the rope is far looser than usual. ebbz has untied herself, and she quickly leaps at kaif, pushing him down to the bed as she straddles his shoulders and shoves his startled face into her crotch, holding a knife to his neck and telling him that he’d better start using his pretty little tongue to make her feel good or else she’s gonna have to hurt him.

ebbz is also a yandere. in fact, she knew about this entire kidnapping plan, and went so far as to break in early to move all her stuff from her house in boxes into the new place before waiting for kaif to come and sweep her off her feet.

they end up killing people together and maybe make out covered in blood. they make each other worse in all the right ways yknow

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

thinking about kaif blackmailing stan...

stan is basically an idol of some description, he gets up on stage with the rest of his idol group and dances and sings his heart out. love live! type bullshit.

anyway he has to keep a very squeaky clean image, at least in this early stage of his career. later on he can do whatever but now even something as simple as drinking alcohol could have backlash if it is leaked

so of course he goes and does something he’s not supposed to. idk what

unfortunately for him, he hasn’t realised he has a stalker- sorry, number one fan. it’s kaif

kaif gets photos of stan doing this thing and instantly sees his opportunity

he sends stan an anonymous message, telling him to come to this hotel room at this time in his idol costume or risk having the photos leaked.

stan shows up, as asked, completely unaware of what he’s getting himself into.

kaif has set up multiple hidden cameras around the room, and asks stan to sit on a chair in the middle of the room

when stan does, he promptly ties the younger man to it and gets to work

he takes his time to grope and squeeze at every single part of stan’s body, his thighs, legs, chest, stomach and hips, slowly undoing the buttons on his uniform and exposing more and more of his pale skin

he eventually pulls the uniform away enough to expose his nipples, and he plays with them as he slowly undoes stan’s pants, revealing to the cameras the very noticeable erection in his underwear as he whimpers and cries helplessly, entirely at kaif’s mercy

now that stan is like this, kaif moves away to set up a much more high quality camera in front of stan, making sure he sees kaif doing this. kaif introduces the two of them to the camera, and explains that this video is about finding stan’s “limits” through testing. stan is absolutely terrified, but he knows this hotel room is soundproofed and if he screams all it will do is make it worse.

first off, he decides to test where stan’s gag reflex is by shoving his fingers down stan’s throat, making a show of turning stan’s head so that potential viewers can see just how much of kaif’s fingers are actually in stan’s mouth. kaif is very eager upon finding that stan doesn’t have a gag reflex, removing his fingers from his throat and putting them into his own mouth and licking stan’s saliva off them, before purring in stan’s ear about how he “tastes so fucking good”.

then he tests if stan bruises easily by giving him hickeys, biting down on his exposed neck till he’s absolutely covered

next he tests how sensitive stan’s nipples are, by leaning down and kissing his chest, licking at them and messily sucking at them like he’s making out with stan’s chest. kaif’s conclusion is that they are very sensitive, and stan makes good noises- even when he’s crying and begging for kaif to stop.

then, he tests if stan’s a masochist by slipping on a shock collar when he’s distracted and shocking him gently. the answer to this question is a resounding yes.

he moves down to stan’s still clothed cock which is straining painfully against the fabric, twitching with need as stan squirms in his seat. he pulls stan’s pants and underwear down, letting it sit around his ankles, and marvels at his exposed length, making a very big show out of measuring it, gently running his fingers up and down it, murmuring to stan about how fucking beautiful he is right now

he pulls stan’s legs apart, exposing his ass more, and states his next text for the camera. how many fingers can stan fit inside of him? stan panics, thrashing slightly to try and escape whilst kaif moves over to the camera and gives the rough measurement of length and width of his own fingers so that the audience can figure out how much stan is being stretched, but the ropes are far too tight.

he lubes up his fingers, before very slowly sliding one in. he is painfully slow with everything he does, pumping it in and out of stan briefly before slowly sliding the second one in, then the third, then the fourth

stan feels like he’s about to cum by now no matter how much he doesn’t want to, but just as he gets there, kaif pulls his fingers out

stan whines hopelessly as he does, trying to ignore the way his hips buck and thrust at the air, desperate for release.

kaif’s next question is how does stan taste? stan’s a bit confused, and he doesn’t have much time to prepare before kaif takes his cock into his mouth

he’s slow and deliberate, gently kissing the side as he licks all the way along the shaft, occasionally putting the entire thing into his mouth and moving his head back and forth

this goes on for quite a while, and stan nearly cums at least five times before kaif pulls away and gives him enough time to recover before diving straight back in

kaif’s final conclusion on this is that stan tastes very good.

kaif has just one more test for stan now, and it’s quite a simple one

how well can stan take kaif’s cock?

he quickly undresses himself and lubes up as he unties stan from the chair, keeping his arms bound as he pulls him up to the bed, sitting him on his lap, their dicks nearly touching each other.

stans too overwhelmed to fight back as kaif lifts him up and pushes himself inside of him, before beginning to slowly fuck stan, wrapping his arms around him to pull him as close as he can, kissing his neck and whispering in his ear about how he’s doing such a good job

kaif’s moans soon join stan’s broken ones, and kaif finally lets stan cum as he thrusts into him deeply before finishing inside of him, holding him close

kaif smiles at the camera before turning it off, saying to stan that he’s so excited for the next time they do this

after all, kaif’s just given stan even more ammunition. this isn’t stopping soon, and eventually kaif will have stan completely under his thumb

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

oooooughhhghh. thinking about. impostor x crewmate stuff. very specifically thinking about impostor!sam, impostor!ebbz and impostor!stan with kaif. i am. writing headcanons as we speak.