#can you guys tell my type is pathetic sad wretched hopeless and inhuman.

[sr-sam-bodypillow]

if i wrote a plot and porn fic. would y'all read it. cause i had a weird idea about eldritch!kaif and ebbz (lots of tentacles)

the tl;dr of it if i never get around to writing it is sex with a shapeshifting eldritch alien. horny and silly. yeah. ebbz girlboss monsterfucker arc

anyway his weird eldritch species are slowly crossing over into our world and they visually sometimes look like hikaru from the summer hikaru died where they melt and thats how they typically attack people (and replace them after. eating them smiles) but also if they experience any strong emotions they split open based on whatever emotion it is.

ebbz is someone who's trying to hunt these weird bastards works for the government and everything cause the equipment's kinda expensive, she's muscular and everything with a lot of scars and has seen some shit and then finds out her new boyfriend has been one the whole time when he gets too flustered and splits open because she was too hot

at first she's horrified, disgusted filled with grief and convinced that this 'kaif' has eaten and killed the original one and then she really quickly figures out no he hasn't, this is a face he made himself and she's just missed the fact that his moles keep moving eeeever so slightly (he forgetssss :< ) and that he's also. so hopeless. not a threat at all.

anyway she uhh reaches in to grab his distinctly colourful tentacle-y somewhat liquid insides at first after cornering him in the bathroom (he's trying to shove it back in. it is Not Working,,) because again she's going full attack mode and thats how THEY attack humans, and then he throws his head back and full on moans because his emotions affect what the internal limbs do and he's only falling apart like this because he's really horny so he's super sensitive. brief moment of embarrassment from both of them cause ebbz is like "???????????? okAY??" and kaif doesn't have the courage to admit that This Has Never Happened What The Fuck (also keep going pleaseeee pretty please)

kaif's just. pathetic. ebbz decides after this "oh i NEED to rail this stupid alien" and gets to doing just that admiring his whimpering the whole time and how he's trying verrry hard to hide his face but his tentacles are incredibly eager and keep trying to get under her clothes and rubbing themselves up against her hand when she reaches out to touch them because he just needs any kind of friction at this point and he can't hide how much he actually really fucking wants her and even if he bites his tongue to stop moaning he can't stop purring and bucking his hips legs trembling uncontrollably as he arches his back when she plants a wet sloppy kiss against one of his thicker tentacles and moving to push it deeper down her throat, looking up at him and... well, she's trying to make eye contact but he's too busy sobbing and squirming give him a break he's never felt like this before in his life

it's very intimate and gentle, ebbz taking care of him in ways he really couldn't have believed would ever happen to him. she moves in closer, leaning on him a bit, smirking at him when his tentacles move on their own accord to slither underneath her shirt and pulls down her pants, gasping slightly as one of the tentacles slides inside of her with little trouble, moving slowly. kaif's incoherent by this point, hands becoming progressively more inhuman as he desperately grabs onto her hips, ...and then cups her face at the same time whilst holding her hands because huh extra pairs of arms and hands. neat. it's definitely very messy, and they go on like that for quite some time, ebbz ends up coming quite a few times because the tentacles are really fucking good and keep hitting her in just the right spots

then kaif finishes and unfortunately for him that's a strong emotion (and the first time he's done that!) so he uh melts a lot more and they both panic and just toss him in the bathtub so he can lie down for a bit without ruining the sheets as he slowly pulls himself back together.

and yeah there is plot there's lots of plot but im dancing around that now cause i just wanted to share the sloppy kaebbz tentacle makeout sex with y'all, but basically kaif helps out with ebbz's job as he's considered an outcast for being so, uh, 'intimate' with humans (he was already an outcast before the messy sex they consider any kind of positive interaction with a human not for the purpose of hunting to be 'intimate'. if they ever learnt he Fucked a Human and he did it like THAT they'd turn into fucking dust okay) and the continued attacks from them are actually messing with a lot of things especially for the increasing amount of outcast mimics (ig thats their name now) who're trying to stay with humanity. so. they collaborate, fix things solve a few mysteries and fuck nasty on the job because there's no way in hell they're gonna make ebbz risk her life for THAT hourly rate when her boyfriend is within kissing range (she gets a payrise dont worry) and they can't fire her because she's the best at her job