springblossomofwisdom

[springblossomofwisdom]

I really need to learn how to shut up. It’s not a me moment, I don’t need to be trying to get in a laugh cuz I just end up making an absolute fool of myself. Anything I share just goes to shit.

What’s wrong with me? I can’t even remember the times I do make people laugh, it’s just the times where I say the most stupidest thing.

Reminder: I am not the shit. I have no talent. I don’t even have passion, I’m a lazy ass who sits on it the entire day. AHGHHGGHH!!!

[springblossomofwisdom]

I have to take a deep breath and remember people have opinions. 😭💀

[springblossomofwisdom]

I have problems with my self-image just like every other teenage girl.

But unlike what is said about every teenage girl, I do not care about my body or the way my face looks.

I care about my voice and the actions that I take.

How many times am I going to cringe after I say something rude or annoying or dumb before I shut my mouth?

How many times am I going to cry after I hurt someone because of my emotions before I go numb?

How many times am I going to pound my head with all the things I can’t do before I give up?

How many times am I going feel like my chest is exploding with stress on how to live through the earth on fire (mentally and physically) before I decide it’s not worth it?

How many times am I going to lay in bed thinking about all that went wrong that day before I fall asleep forever?

How many times am I going to say I hate myself in my head before it actually gets out?

[springblossomofwisdom]

Arcane is over....😭😭😭

I'm still mourning the end of Arcane. I watched and consumed it so fast, that I got whiplash. I don't know what to do anymore. I put off watching it until last week because I wasn't motivated to be emotionally destroyed when it came out. I'm in denial of all the deaths cuz I'm not watching the show and it's over anyway.

None of them are dead and all lived happily ever after with their s/o's...

Right?

[springblossomofwisdom]

I took the fattest nap I think I've ever napped in my life. I had my songs that make me feel like I'm floating and I was unconscious by the time the first song reached the chorus. I was so comfortable. I had like 50 blankets on and it was like 0 degrees. I wish I didn't have life so I could feel like that forever.

[springblossomofwisdom]

My friend just got tumblr and she was telling me about and I just had to sit like 🙂. Like I'm not going to tell her about this account. She was all like "You should totally get a Tumblr account so we can live out our 2010 blog vibes and we can follow one another. " 😬 I told her no. I didn't tell her I've been blogging. Think she'll find this?

[springblossomofwisdom]

This is SOOO cute! Even though I don't play Stardew Valley ( I KNOW I SHOULD!!!!) But I love the life series!!

I forgot to tell you guys that i finished my Stardew Valley designs 😋 im trying to use Tumblr more lets see how long it lasts

[springblossomofwisdom]

Most days the moon does little to light the darkened night.

Their light is not their own, so to share isn’t a usual sight.

But tonight, the moons light is exceptionally bright.

I can see the road ahead of me, even in the dead of night.

Something has changed.

The thought of the moons light that was once estranged.

[springblossomofwisdom]

My mouth needs to stay shut sometimes. What am I doing? I always say the wrong thing and I fuck it up. Man. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I was trying to make a joke. I didn’t think you’d get hurt. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I appreciate our friendship. I don’t think lowly of you. I think you’re one of the coolest people. You’re so funny and amazing to be around. I didn’t think what I said would harm you. I pushed to far. Again. Are they over it? Am I still hung up over nothing? I’m sorry.

[springblossomofwisdom]

It’s New Years

The words “We made it guys!”

Really means something else.

[springblossomofwisdom]

Today a mental health awareness speaker came to school. He was actually really cool. He did this exercise where we named 5 people who knew everything about us. The bad and the worse. 5 people out of 400 raised their hands. Then he asked two questions to the audience.

Like why don't you let people know the real you?

I could have said: I've worked so hard to create this image of myself that's the perfect me. A kind independent smart hard worker with every opportunity given to me. But that's not what I want me to be. That's what I've grown into. People don't like much change. I don't either. I'm scared if I ever do "not hide" then everything will get much more complicated and I will be even more confused and overwhelmed than I usually am like this. My projecting self.

Then he asked what do you think when I say all this to you.

I could've said: I think I'm selfish. At first, I think Why can't people notice what I'm going through? I hope someone can see that I'm struggling. They should help me, someone needs to help me get better. Then I realise, I'm not the only one. People have shit going on all the time. They have their own problems. I don't look around to help people because I need to help myself first. But they are doing the same exact thing. Then, I think, people have it much worse and they need a lot more help than I do. I don't deserve to be thinking these thoughts because everyone has it bad. NO ONE IS WORSE THAN I AM. I PROBABLY HAVE IT BEST.

But I didn't.

[springblossomofwisdom]

“Groundhog Day”

-a film released in 1993.

[springblossomofwisdom]

URGENT HELP🚨🚨🚨🍉🇵🇸

Hello,

How do you do ? I hop to be in a good condition.

This is my special campaign

We hope to help us by donating or sharing to others.

Every donation makes a different even if it a small.

As you know, the war began on October 7 and lasted ten months. During this period, we were unable to obtain food, drink, or treatment because we did not have money.

There is no source of income for the family at the present time, so we are unable to buy food, clean water, and medicine, especially after we are afflicted with the ongoing infectious diseases spread in the north like Hepatitis C disease.

Our house has been damaged a lot since the beginning of the war. We are from the north of Gaza and we are still in the north and have not displaced to the south. We displaced 10 times from place to another seeking to safety .

We hope for your help and support, even if only a little.🙏🙏

Vetted by Femme intifada on telegram.

Also, vetted by gazavetters on tumbler and my number is #60

My campaign was recently vetted by butterfly effect group on Instagram and my number is #964

This is the link if you would to read our story well 👇👇

https://gofund.me/4e896ac1

Thank you all

DO NOT FORGET. DONATE, SHARE, KEEP HEARING THEM

[springblossomofwisdom]

🛑pleas don't scroll ‼️Hi, I hope you are well. My name is Mohammed Atallah, I live with my parents, six sisters, a little girl named Malak and a little boy named Ameer in North Gaza. I created this link to fund a bone graft in my left hand which was shot by an explosive bullet, to rebuild our destroyed home and to evacuate my family from Gaza to a safe place.And donate any amount to safe life .. I will appreciate your help❤️ Can you please help as much as you can . Press all buttons on my wall , I beg you to visit my page, view it, and donate via the link in the bio💔Donate and share widely 🆘🆘 Every euros will make a difference 🙏I urge you to donate. Even the smallest amount can make the biggest difference. Not only he needs to evacuate with his family, but he is in dire need for surgery! The IDF has shot his arm with an explosive bullet. Not a regular one. AN EXPLOSIVE ONE. So he needs to get it treated right away! Otherwise, he will get an infection and it may lead to amputation. WE DO NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, DO WE DO?So contribute! Make sure to reblog and share his story if you are unable to do so.Help my family. War is devastating. There is nothing left to live. No schools, no universities, no home, and no dreams. All dreams have been shattered. I hope for help before it is too late Please share on Twitter and tumbler and Instagram The campaign has been documented @90-ghost

KEEP HEARING THEIR VOICE

[springblossomofwisdom]

idk I just really liked this.

Kazuo Shiraga (Japanese, 1924-2008), Shakudei (Burning Mud), 1992. Oil on canvas, 130 x 162 cm.

[springblossomofwisdom]

I'm getting a lot closer to that last sentence in my bio. I've said it to myself a lot, but I don't think that means I'm there yet. Actions speak louder than words.

[springblossomofwisdom]

I've started journaling again. It helps, but now I know that my life has gotten bad again. Hopefully, I lose this notebook before I fill it.