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he’s wearing edward cullen press on nails. I repeat, his is wearing edward cullen press on nails

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i once created the entire cullen family in sims 2 and built them the most lavish house based on the books’ descriptions, i was truly living life to its fullest. my vampire children were happy, i was happy. this was the biggest family i had ever created on sims so i was forced to take a hands off parenting approach and sit back and let them do their thing.

then, disaster struck: jasper wanted cereal. i blame myself, i was distracted by rosalie bursting in on edward and bella going at it in esme’s room cus she wanted to sing karaoke. all of a sudden the kitchen caught on fire due to my lack of supervision (and jasper’s absolute idiocy, i still have no idea how he BURNED. CEREAL), and all hell broke loose. of course my idiot children all ran into the kitchen to point at the fire and scream together and i couldn’t get any of them to call the fire department or evacuate!!

that’s when i realized: i got so caught up in decorating their house that forgot to give them a smoke detector.

there were several casualties. first esme, then jasper. bella and carlisle also bit the dust. literally everything was on fire. the grim reaper showed up and just kinda chilled outside while my architectural masterpiece burned to the ground, taking my idiot children with it.

i don’t remember what happened to the others, but i have a visceral mental image of edward sobbing in the backyard-turned-graveyard while a very annoyed grim reaper kept checking his watch, like a retail worker trying to get rid of a customer two minutes from closing.

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mr molina pondering ways to get his class to engage with the phases of mitosis like

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oh my god the cullens could live to the year 3000

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Why didn’t we get to see Edward joining Bella’s friend group!! Edward joining their lunch table for the first time ! Bella bringing him to go to Seattle with everyone !! Everyone at school has him on a pedestal and then he starts hanging out with them and he’s so awkward and he’s really quiet and suddenly everyone realizes that BELLA is actually the cool and confident one in their relationship !!

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I can’t stop thinking about how thankful I am that smeyer is such a poor writer. Like making Rosalie’s entire personality ‘hot, mean, vain, traumatized’ has given us SO much room to work with as a fandom.

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Give yourself a big hug for making it through this year.

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Last night, protesters arrived at St. Patrick's Cathedral to remind the city's wealthiest and most powerful that Israel canceled Christmas in Bethlehem. Eric Adams and Rudy Giuliani were both in attendance, cheering on the genocide of Palestinians in the same city where Jesus was born.

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nothing like a child’s creepy drawing to make you fear for your life (seriously why do kids’ drawings look so scary sometimes… and the things they say? hello??)

loid does many things and messing with paranormal shit is NOT one of them

buy me a coffee

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My best friend loves rob pattinson and over the years she sent me a lot of articles/quotes of him, so here are some of my favourites

(there is A LOT more, this man is INSANE)

Part 2

Bonus:

Part 2

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i think this pretty much sums it up.

i could go more in depth, but i'm not going to

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Girls turn 14, and slowly start morphing into one of the bitches.

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For a reason.

Vamps vs Werewolfs like its 2010!

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I’d best be seeing that anti JKR energy for this twilight show too bc Smeyer continuing to profit off the Quileute tribe is not cute

Edit: As people have pointed out in the notes, the Quileute Relocation Fund is still accepting donations

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When stuff is burning, all that matters is that you start running

the villagers: OH MY GOD GET OUT OF HERE ITS A DRAGON ATTACK HES BURNING DOWN THE WHOLE VILLAGE

me noticing the "dragon" actually only has 2 hind legs instead of 4 legs: thats actually a w-

*flames engulf me completely*