sleepy-otx

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fucking losing my mind over here considering im me and I love these two so much and i just

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ZhongXiao Aro/Ace Drabble

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The world exists and it is beautiful. The world exists and it is painful.

Each footstep echoes out the hallway. They stop in front of the hallway. The night is cold and unforgiving. The night is calm and serene.

Fingers leave prints on the glass. Breath leaves fog on the pane.

Alive. They are alive.

Another person stops in front of them. My love, they wish to say, My heart. Their body is clearly failing.

Dying. They are dying.

The dying love says, "Isn't the universe beautiful." An owl hoots to prove their point.

The living scoffs. How can the universe be beautiful? Their love is dying.

"I love the moon so much. I want to see it on my final night. Will you-"

"No. There's still a chance. Don't give up yet."

The dying love frowns, "You're the only reason why I'm still alive."

They say it like it’s a bad thing. Like it’s wrong. Why do they say it like that?

"We can be together forever."

"...I don't want forever."

The living lets their hand slide down the window, the pads of their fingers creating a screeching sound reflective of how they feel inside.

The living says, "The universe isn't beautiful without you." Their voice is desperate. They want to beg for as long as they can for their dying love to stay.

"Aren't you being silly? The universe was never beautiful because of me. I just helped you see it. And the universe will continue being beautiful after me."

The dying love's hand interwines itself with the living.

"Let me go, okay?"

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Villanelle For Xiao

How I miss those who I considered kin

Regardless of the foe, I will answer my god’s call

I am the only one left to conquer all sin

At night, not a whisper to be heard nor a cry of pain

All the bloodshed and tears will be washed away by the season's rainfall

How I miss those who I considered kin

I am the only one left and I am considered evil’s bane

Everything hurts, but I will continue on even if I must crawl

I am the only one left to conquer all sin

My mind warps everything around me and I struggle to remain sane

I know what they would say and so I sit to enjoy the scenery of fall

How I miss those who I considered kin

The ones who are left wish for me to refrain

No sound nor word can truly enthrall

I am the only one left to conquer all sin

How I curse the fact that only I remain

Sooner or later I will join them leaving behind only a bird's call

How I miss those who I considered kin

I am the only one left to conquer all sin

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Sonnet For Xiao

Winter steals each breath leaving you with grief

Thou miss thy kin, yet never fail to live

Till spring, heart aches and yearns without relief

At war, blood spilled that thou wouldn't forgive

Time seems to stop as earth unburies jade

Come close and let me hold you, shed no tear

I stay alone, unable to dissuade

Corruption, thy close friend, leaves me with fear

Yet I love and wait, one day, I've believed

Blood shan't besmirch thy hands nor gentle soul

Flute sounds upon the wind, thy pain's relieved

My wish for thee, thy's chance to laugh, to stroll

See the peaceful harbor, what thou'st fought for

Lay down the spear, for war is now no more

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Babysitter/Bodyguard AU

MCs: ZhongXiao & Qiqi

Zhongli who is at war with many other regions, including the one where Xiao is enslaved in, and who also has a child who is Qiqi. Xiao who runs into her in his master's land and realizes that oh shit, she's from Morax's land and she cannot be here!! Qiqi, of course, is like not worried because in her eyes her dad is very powerful and will always keep her safe, not realizing that she's not in her dad's land meaning he doesn't have any special powers there and she is in a lot of danger should anyone find out who she is. Xiao doesn't know who is her dad and doesn't give her the chance to explain and tries to get her to leave. Qiqi is still trying to collect plants for medicine and refuses to leave because there is a lot of plants there and she still thinks that she's home. She climbs up a mountain and Xiao is immediately noping out, but rushes back to save her when she's about to fall. After all, it's not like his master ordered him to not save the child and it's not like he's disobeying and she doesn't have to know he's technically helping the enemy

He saves her and gathers all the plants she wanted and gave her a quick blessing to protect her and help her travel faster into her land undetected and unharmed. It works really well to the point where it's still active by the time she arrives home and sees her family freaking out that she was missing for so long. She doesn't understand what the big deal was and just said that she made a nice new friend, but she never actually got his name. Skip forward where Qiqi constantly goes over to try and find her new friend and Xiao is like no, no, no, leave right now, but can't bring himself to be mean about it.

A party with all neighboring kingdoms/nations invited is held including his lady who is quite antagonistic about it. They will go but really it's more so an excuse for her to observe Morax's palace and look for any weak points. Of course, she nor any of her people could attack without starting a war, but it was better to have information just in case. While they're in a foreign kingdom/nation they would have to listen to that ruler's orders as a sign of respect but they needn't try to hard, just enough to get others off their case. Xiao immediately spots Qiqi from across the room and realized who she is. She's the reason why the party was thrown in the first place. The birthday party of the little lady of liyue. A party that went south when someone tried to take advantage of the situation. It's quickly resolved, but Morax notices how is daughter clinged onto one of his foes when she was scared. Xiao's master also notices it and considers this new information carefully.

The child seeks him out on other special occasions. He rebuffs each attempt. Acknowledging her and the little friendship they created would be equivalent to handing his master the spear to strike directly at Morax's heart and ending his reign. She was just a child after all. Easy to manipulate and easy to please. So he says harsh words with cold eyes. He says them even as his heart begins to hurt and says them even as she looks at him with tears in her eyes and says them when her family looks at him with such hatred for hurting her.

Later on, when his master goes against Morax, he cant bring himself to watch Qiqi get killed and takes a fatal blow meant for her. It's a stupid move, so stupid that everyone stops fighting for a second to process it. He passes out from the pain still holding her in his arms. When he is interrogated he lies. He lies because there's no point in trying to get out of this live. He just wants it all to end already. Eventually, Morax wins the battle against Xiao's master and Xiao is set to be executed, but Qiqi asks to talk to him privately first. She tries to interrogate him because she doesn't understnd why he's so nice one second then so mean the next. He can't hide the truth from her and explains as best he can so as to not leave her wondering after his death. Though he does not notice her father listening in on their conversation.

A few weeks later and it is decided that his punishment is to guard the little lady and the king after much persuading from her and a lot of thinking from her father. From there other stuff happens and Xiao is really confused as to why the fuck he's still alive and why they want him of all people to protect some of the most important people in their nation. Cue shenanigans and Qiqi using her big brain to get them together so she can have her perfect happy family.

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Lmfao I was all like yeah I'm gonna transfer my lil ideas from Twitter to this account and then completely forgot to do that

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Got so many things I wanna write but not enough time blehhhh

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wahhhhhh I just wanted to finish my soulmates zhongxiao au for my bday but I have other shit to do!!!!!

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sooooo 4.0 is out... we can swim.... there is a boat ride...

Is anyone gonna do a little mermaid zhongxiao au or am I gonna have to jot down inmy list of to be written????

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on top of, like, 20+ fic ideas and a few first that I need to continue at some point, I came up with the brilliant idea to add in a ZhongXiao Soulmates AU...

Why am I like this??

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should I be making a post everytime I write and post a new chapter? Is that something ppl do? Idk man

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I swear I am writing I'm just not very fast

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ahshjfkdod I can't focus!!!!

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My motivation went weeeeee and flew away TvT the second my internet died so now I gotta go brrrrr to catch up

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Shane Family Centric Fic

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I also just realized that since i barely made this blog i may show up with that new arrival tag and like no im not new. Twitter was just being a poopy pants and i need some place to share my writings but my personal one is too personal ya know?