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" I'm not going to tell him, " they say, an eyeroll attached because duh, what are they, stupid? While even Goobie isn't completely sure of what would come of that particular argument, they're not exactly keen on shaking the bear. Nomi's not any fun at all when she's in it bad with Santi.

Goobie huffs out a short laugh through their nose at the man's lack of an answer and volleyed question. " To Nomi? Usually. " Squinting at the man before them, Goobie tries to work through their mother's motives in dating this guy. Could it be she... actually likes him? The last time she liked a man - genuinely, like, for his soul and shit - Nomi had a whole kid about it.

" If my mom knew I was meddling she'd kick my ass. Shred me with a belt and then come back for seconds. Just... don't say I didn't warn you. She used to call herself Nomi Furtado, okay? " A beat. They stare at Benji, unflinching, and then offer a simple: " Maneater. "

"Don't tell him," Benj sighs, pleading with nothing more than a pout. "Only because I don't know how big of a deal it is, and I can't ask, because then it might be suspicious."

It also isn't the first time Benj found himself entangled with a relative of Santiago's. Granted, the first time was before he even really knew Santi, but he's sure there's some code about not fucking around with your close friend's family members.

His sulk is replaced with the tight furrow of his eyebrows and a subtle look of suspicion. "I'm comfortable." It's Benj's attempt to be vague, but he does ask, "Does that really matter?"

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Goobie doesn't laugh outright, though it's a near thing. They do smile, a real one, and nod in agreement. While they value their eyebrows too much to risk it, lighting a cig in the fire would make for a pretty insane party story.

Bellamy. Goob thinks it fits her - something dark and beautiful and a little rare. " What a saint, " they comment, only looking away from the girl's beautiful eyes to assess the offered carton. A hum, and then Goob's pushing it away. " I'll share, " they say. " Out of the goodness of my heart. You're lucky I don't mind the taste of lipstick. "

Truth be told, they find it hot when girls leave pretty little lip stains on the butts of cigarettes. Goob takes an indulgent inhale and eyes Bellamy before letting out the thick cloud of smoke and tilting their head. " Are you gonna' sit down and ask me my name or what? "

"Nah, just gotta be fast. And ballsy...And maybe a little tipsy." She addended with a shrug, figuring someone over there had to check those boxes. Besides, if she was that hard up for a cig, she'd definitely take her chances with a second degree burn if it was her last resort.

"Well if that's the case then I'll just take that one off your hands entirely and offer a brand new one. Purely out of the goodness of my heart." Not like she didn't have her own crumpled carton in her pocket- this was just more efficient--and allowed her to keep the conversation going with someone who was really nice to look at. "Bellamy." She finally offered before doing as she said and taking her cigarette carton out, popping one out in offering. "Unless you're down to share that one with someone you just met?"

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" Whoa, stop, hold on. " Goob holds up a hand, disgust worming its way onto their face. " I look like the kind of person to double text? That's offensive as hell, Stevie. "

With a scoff, Goob shakes their head, as though the comment had stuck onto them like a little gnat. " I don't think moths have to represent anything. No tattoo does. Half my ink is just stuff I thought looked cool. " A beat. " So what? You think a girl's gonna' look at my moth tattoo and start thinking about bugs killing themselves? "

"What do moths represent except persistence when it comes to whacking against lightbulbs outside?" Stevie genuinely questions as they peer over their colleague's shoulder, squinting at the design on the paper.

To make their point, they hold both hands up and smack them together as if their pinched fingers were a tiny moth hitting a solid wall. "Maybe it would show them you're not a scaredy cat to pursue them hard -- or, like, double text. That's a plus on a lot of people's lists, right? Still doin' the ear, by the way."

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" Somehow I think men would find a way to disappoint you even then. "

"It's not so bad when it's the right man," Billie admits -- she'd gotten a good one the first time around, but she didn't have high hopes that lightening would be able to strike twice.

"Maybe I should just give up and become a nun."

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Goobie snickers. If asked, they could only give a vague definition of what decolletage might mean, but the joke hits all the same. " You know you don't need a reason to look hot, right? You can just... be hot. Confidence in itself is sexy. "

They toss the shirt back in the box, already scanning the rest of the miscellaneous items (and thinking about the stuff they could potentially rescue and bring home with them). " For the record, I think your decolletage would look just fine in that. "

"I don't even buy that much! I don't know how it happens!" Shiloh retorts in aghast defense.

If anything, she felt like she did way too much spending on sweet little treats to save herself from the accumulation of things taking up her closet space.

She eyes the top in question warily.

"Exactly. What do I have to look hot for? Plus, I don't have the decolletage to pull it off." @sleeaze

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Goob offers only a mock gag at the concept of swiping through pictures of men as a fun bar activity. As it is, playing Tinder for Aeris will eventually get boring, and only sooner so if they have to look at uggos and freaks. They huff an amused laugh at Aeris' criticism of the tattoo and then take the phone back with an arched brow.

" Don't know if that'll work. I flirt like a lesbian. It's a totally different standard. I actually make women feel adored. Respected. "

“Bullet dodged, then,” Aeris drawls, unamused at the prospect of a ‘true love’.

If that’s the case, he isn’t meeting them on Tinder, and they definitely won’t use a dog ear filtered selfie in their profile. He appreciates Goobie's input less when they swipe left on someone else only for the fact she's straight. “What — that’s not fair. You can’t swipe just because I can’t pass them off to you!” There is no effort made to retrieve his phone due to that potential match being long lost.

“Besides, set my preferences to include men if that’s how you’re going to make decisions. But be warned, it’s rough out there.”

He leans back over at the mention of the last girl, but his look of interest immediately turns into one of mild disgust. “Oh, look at — wow, shit, look at that. The lines are blown out on that one on her bicep.” Aeris mulls it over for all of a second until he swipes right, and his phone lights up signaling the match.

“Chat her up for me. I want to see how this plays out.”

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" Punk goes crazy. Electro goes crazy. Pretty easy for me to see why there's a pipeline. " Goob nods toward the stage where the crowd is tightening and the lights are lowering. " Hey, it was sick running into you. If you end up spinning anything of mine, just shoot me an email, I'm independent but it's cool to keep track. Enjoy the show, man. "

"Hell yeah. Love that," He accepted the card without hesitation. By no means were any of those genres something he was well versed in, but there were dipped toes for sure. More than likely the more popular stuff by comparison.

"I'll definitely look and see what I can add. Especially on your original stuff. That coming from someone in town? Feels like it'll do some good numbers." Plus they seemed incredibly serious about the art. There was respect oozing from them for it. "You know a lot of punk bands turn to electronic in later years. I think it's the harshness of synths and such that helps? Not sure. But it happens a fair bit." @sleeaze

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closed starter for lorna dilane / @dilcne

located at the pantry

" Pancakes? " Goobie interrupted Lorna's perusal of syrups, inching into her peripheral just enough to throw her a little smile. " I can always smell them through the walls when you make 'em. I don't even mess with pancakes like that but something about the smell of maple gets me starving. "

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" Uh huh. Right. Seriously, don't mention it. "

Pathetic. Obviously, as her child, Goobie will never understand the allure their mother holds to men - especially good, seemingly stable (or stable enough) men. To a degree, they get some of it - after all, Goobie's hard and true type in women tends to be the crazy ones. Still, from what Santi says, Benj seems nice. Goobie stares him down, blank but careful.

" You make a lot of money? " They ask candidly.

Goobie startles Benj with their bluntness, demonstrated in the way his mouth opens to answer, then immediately shuts again. He feels like it’s a trick. Even the ‘it’s okay’ leaves him hesitant, but his inability to deny off the bat already gives it away.

“Okay, listen—” he starts when he realizes choosing the path of secrecy would not be possible with Goobie. “We matched on Tinder, and I humored it, and well…”

Benj draws in a deep breath and awkwardly shifts. “But no, I don’t plan on telling Santi. Even though I really want to, I feel like it’s better not to right now.”

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" You shouldn't be ashamed to be old, tio. There's a whole subtype of women who love an older man. "

The mention of a friend on Hinge is worrying. Goobie has a way of forgetting every man they've ever met, but after seeing a familiar face both at this bar and at the condos, they're getting suspicious that Nomi might be this mystery friend's type afterall. " What's his name? What's he look like? Nomi mentioned she's been trying to kiss on one of our neighbors. Better hope it's not your little bestie. "

"All my old man buddies? Don't make sound like I'm ancient," Santiago chides, the fact he felt a need to was doing a good job of aging him without their assistance.

"One of my buddy's is pretty much a regular fixture on Hinge though. Small town, small pool, it's only a matter of time before they cross-swipes or whatever you call it. I don't think she's his type though."

( At least he hopes she wasn't. )

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goob: wait wait wait wait wait u know astrid? and never introduced me? do u even care about lesbians? goob: should've used u as target practice more often cant believe youre not constantly thinking about the health of my sex life goob: what's the real reason u wanna switch. other than u knowing for a fact i dont want to speak to a man ever goob: are u trying to fuck nasty with my next candidate?

drew: yeah dude i was just tryna wingman 4 my grl andy but i think im in it fr now drew:

drew: damn i was gonna tell u that i kno them and culd put a good word in 4 u but nvm ig... drew: but this next lady is old enough 2 be my mom n that feels more ur speed drew: i mean unless u wanna hav 2 talk 2 a man 4 the nxt 5 min

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Goobie retracts their man-hating lesbian claws for the moment, acknowledging the white flag waving on both sides. " I don't usually pretend to be nice for anyone. Definitely not someone I meet at an event like this. Sorry. "

They listen with half-interested ears, thoughts still on their too-short date with Astrid, and then with full-interested ears at the turn and flop. Huge yikes moment. " At least you were honest. I've had girls get mad at me for similar situations but it's like, would you rather date someone who's lying about being into you? Stand up, ladies. "

Mav's weird grin is only unsettling because Goob doesn't know what the fuck is going on in his head, so as soon as he lays out his request the tension in their shoulders dissipates. " Depends on if your sister is my type. Which one are they? " Goob does their best to follow Mav's eyeline which leads them... right to Astrid. Mav's grin seems to be catching.

" You don't have to beg. Your sister's the reason I even joined this stupid speed dating thing. I've been trying to figure out a way I can get back to their table for another date without someone yelling at me. " Goob doesn't have any reason to pry - they're confident enough in their own skills to make a score with no passes - but the opportunity to do some snooping is too great. " So what's their deal then? Tell me everything. "

“Oh.” That fact makes it significantly better, and definitely not at all insulting. “That’s cool, though. And I’ll ignore the ‘Captain Incel’ thing,” It’s not like Mav has to build a case to prove otherwise. Not to anyone who knows him, and definitely not for a stranger. 

Mav shrugs, “I guess pretending to be nice just shields everyone’s egos, too. So good on you for not wasting anyone’s time, I guess?” He looks to the door and wonders if he should just make a run for it, or if that would mean Astrid would bail too. Then a light bulb goes off in his head, and Mav slowly begins to grin.

It falters a bit at Goob’s question, and he sighs, “Nah, well. I feel like people look for something serious at these things, and I recently — okay, don’t judge me, I sorted it out, but — I guess I gave the wrong signals to a friend, she said she liked me, I asked her to the New Year’s ball, then realized I wasn’t into it. So I don't wanna make that mess again.” He thrums his fingers against the table top while he thinks about Celia.

“Anyway…” His grins returns, and Mav leans over the table, nodding his head in the direction Astrid sits. “If my sister sits at your table, you should totally keep them on your radar and flirt. Lay it on thick. They’re seriously the best, so… just throwing it out there.” 

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Goob's straight-forward method isn't for everyone. They know what they like, they know what they want, and they have no issues saying either of those things. For someone - for Astrid - to be not only receptive to the bold way that Goobie eyes them? That's hot. It makes it easier for them to sink into the comfort of flirting, of letting themselves indulge in taking in Astrid's dark hair and dark eyes and sly, pinkened smile.

They look off toward wherever this mysterious brother is seated, but can't seem to figure out who exactly Astrid's talking about. " Sounds like he's praying on your downfall. He's torturing you for fun, keeping you in here with all these losers. I guess I showed up right in time. "

Goobie's normal about their handshake but does take an extra second before letting go. The option to be cool and calm and collected and lie about why they'd jumped into speed dating is there, certainly, but they don't feel so ashamed of how they got here as to lie on the first date. " No brother, " they explain. " But I saw you sitting here and had no choice. I couldn't not introduce myself; I couldn't not take the opportunity to be the one you leave with. So tell me about yourself; I wanna' know how much trouble I've gotten myself into. "

Astrid felt a pleasant tingle shoot up the back of their neck at the blatant flirting. It was easily smoother and more self-assured than what little they'd heard so far that day; everyone was either too nervous and awkward to do anything other than make idle chit chat, or they were like Astrid — to disgruntled to even try.

This was a refreshing change of pace. Astrid leaned forward, propping their chin on their hand, but tried to school their features so as not to betray that it had gotten to them, a little bit. "My brother is playing goalie over there," they explained neutrally, head tilted vaguely toward Mav, seated a few tables down. "He won't let me out of here unless he sees me leave with someone."

She reached out to take the hand that was being offered, replying, "Astrid." Her eyes momentarily shot down to the nametag that contradicted what Gabriela had just said, but she didn't comment on it.

"And why is that? You also got a brother who won't let you leave?"

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Goobie looks over their shoulder. " Sure, yeah, if you feel like losing an arm. "

The end of their sentence falls off, turning to find the cigarette under new ownership. Okay, bold. Goobie appreciates a woman who does what she wants. They watch the process with curious eyes, trying to decide if the stranger was flirting or just felt entitled to a nicotine rush in return for the flame. " What if the first hit is my favorite part of a cig? " they ask, pressing buttons. Then, after a beat (and a hit of their own), they offer a small, private smile. " I'd say thank you, but I don't know who I'm thanking. "

Bellamy had only been back in town for a few weeks, but she'd already been reminisced by enough ghosts that it set her teeth on edge. At least her dealer when she was sixteen still sold from the same spot on the boardwalk, clearly making it into his whole career- good for him. So with a couple blunts in her bag and a gummy already making its way through her system, Bell decided to check out the bonfire thing happening, even coming armed with her own screwtop bottle of wine.

The warmth from the fire somewhat combatted the chill in the night air and she was about to find a nice little spot to just lounge out in the sand when she heard the voice and looked over, raising a brow as she walked backwards a couple steps.

"You know there's a giant ass lighter right there, right?" She countered with a little grin as she motioned to the fire, but even as she did she moved, crossing the short distance between them and plucking the cigarette out of the other's hand, wordlessly slipping it between her own lips to hold it in place as she lit it a moment later, taking a long drag before offering it back. "You're welcome."

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🚶

Introduce us to an NPC: Nomi (Naomi), Goobie's mom

" It's so snooze when people say their parents are their best friends but Nomi is mine. She knows everything I know and she tells me all her secrets, too. Some people - family, mostly - accuse her of being a bad mom and say shit like she prioritized her boyfriends over me which, I mean, yeah, I had to reheat my own tamales or pot roast when I was ten and I had to put myself to bed sometimes but she did not neglect me. Those old bitches just hate when women are resourceful and in charge of their own sexuality. They're mad we live in a million dollar condo and neither of us have corporate jobs or rings on our fingers. "