shipsdoishipidk

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whos winning the dcs biggest queerbaiter championship

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characters who go from “no one kills them but me” to “who did this to you”

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They’re supposed to be leading a team meeting right now

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Dick: *cleaning a lamp the Titans confiscated from a mission*

Lamp: *poof*

Slade!genie emerges: *purring* why, hello pretty bird 😏

Dick:

Dick: *hurriedly rubbing the lamp the other way*

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Dick introducing his lover to his coworkers:

Dick: Hi guys!

Coworker A: Hey, Dick. And who’s that behind you?

Dick: Guys I want you to meet my boyfriend, Jason!

Coworker B: …your boyfriend?

Dick: Jason say hi

Grizzled, massive 6 foot something Jason Todd next to youthful, slim 5 foot 8 Dick Grayson: yo.

Coworkers: h-hey. So uh. How did you guys meet?

Dick: well we first met when I saved him and then some things happened and then we got into a couple fights and then we got together!

Coworkers: *eyeing the size difference* fight?! Dick, can we talk to you for a moment?

Dick: Sure!

Coworker A: alone.

Dick: Sure…

Coworker B: *pulling Dick to the side* are you okay? Do you need help? Do you want to talk to someone?

Coworker C: yeah, you worked in the BPD right? They’d be more than happy to help if it’s you.

Coworker D: Let’s call them right now!

Dick: Woah, wait a second. I think you guys are misunderstanding something. Jason doesn’t hurt me.

Coworker A: Look, Dick, I know that…older men can sometimes appear more mature but-

Dick: Older? Older?? Wait you think Jason is older?

Coworker C: …isn’t he?

Dick: *laughing* no, he’s the younger one! I’m older.

Coworkers: what.

Dick: Yeah, he’s 23. And he treats me very well.

Coworkers: *unsatisfied* well, as long as you’re happy

Dick: *fondly* very.

Coworkers: *watching Dick lovingly hang off Jason as they leave*

Coworker A: So.

Coworker B: Daddy issues?

Coworkers C & D: Definitely

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yes, babe, you’re sick and twisted, will you come back to bed- what? yes, of course you’re evil and irredeemable. now can you please cuddle with me

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A Transaction *Deathstroke and Nightwing fighting* Slade: Let's get married. Dick: *stops* what? Slade: Let's get married. Dick: why? Slade: For tax benefits. Dick: No, really, why? Slade: Because. Dick: *annoyed* No. We're not getting married. Slade: Why. Dick: Because you're just going to imprison me! This is just another plot of yours to lock me up somewhere! Slade: Let me make this clear. Either I'm going to marry you and imprison you or I'm just going to imprison you. Your choice. Dick: Dick: ...I want a ring. Slade: Fine. Dick: *pouting* The biggest. Slade: *smirking* Done.

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brudick are so entertaining to me because i feel like dick can probably randomly prod bruce however he wants whenever he wants and bruce will just tsk at him and do absolutely nothing about it. meanwhile tim and damian and steph are standing off to the side like “wow i can’t fucking believe he lets you do that?”

like. the way it goes is like,

dick: oh, well, bruce doesn’t really like being touched without warning, y’know! or in general, really

tim: then why does he let you poke around in his utility belt. and touch his cowl. and his cape. and the rest of his suit. and his clothes when he’s out of his suit

dick: i mean… i’ve been doing it for years, so maybe it’s that?

the rest of them:

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Breaking the fourth wall Titans: *teasing* Hey, Dick. We miss you. Why'd you have to go and run off to college? Dick: I went off to college because the creators of this world thought Batman and I were too gay. Titans: what. Dick: what.

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Dick: Maisie and Caleb invited us to speak at their wedding! Bruce: Hrmn. Dick: This is such an honor! We've known them for so long, our speeches will have to be perfect. I know exactly what I'm going to say! Bruce: ...Do you know what I'm going to say? Dick, rolling his eyes: Relax, I've written yours already. Bruce: *Satisfied* Hrmn.

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🤭❤️

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Dick: You... You had a crush on me??

Tim, extremely annoyed: It was a long time ago

Dick: It really wasn't-

Tim: I was a kid discovering his sexuality!

Dick: I just wouldn't have expected it to be you

Jason: It was also me

Dick, snapping his head towards the other reading in the corner: WHAT??

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Dick and Barbara just after getting married:

Dick: Babs you know I love you right?

Barbara: *purring* Ofcourse~ how about…we take this show on the road..hmm?

Dick: Yes…but also about the marriage license-

Barbara: *kissing him* what about it? We can just get it later..

Dick: welll……we don’t realllyy need to get a marriage certificate, right? *laughing awkwardly* isn’t it just enough that everyone important to us knows?

Barbara: *stopping* what.

Dick: uuhhmmm…

Barbara: what. happened.

*flashback to several years ago*

Dick: *drunk off his ass* Jay!! *kissing his face* My baby brother I’m so glad you’re back!!

Jason: me too, Dick…say..why don’t we make it official that I’m back?

Dick: hmm??

Jason: why don’t you officially prove that you’re happy to see me and have me back?

Dick: what do you want?

Jason: what will you give me?

Dick: *beaming and hanging off his shoulders* anything anything!

Jason: *smirking slowly* alright, dickie, ya better keep your promise.

The next morning

Dick: Jason!

Jason: *Holding the marriage certificate that is very much on fire* Can’t return me now!! You’re mine now, Dickface!

Dick: JASON!!

*flashforward to forward to the present with Dick and Barbara*

Dick: uhhhh…nothing…ha…ha…

Barbara:

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Jason: *to tim* I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. I guess it’s because of work an’ shit

Tim: *unphased* uh huh.

Dick: *walking in* hey guys, what’s up?

Tim: *sniggering* Jason’s been having trouble sleeping because of work.

Jason: What the fuck are you laughin-

Dick: You’re having trouble sleeping little wing?! Oh no! *opening his arms wide* If you’re having trouble, come sleep with your Big Brother! I’ll take care of ya 💕

Jason who has a mommy kink and a massive big brother complex on Dick: *insanely turned on* fuck…

Tim: *glaring daggers of promised murder and violence at Jason* *whispering* Don’t. You. Dare.

Jason-petty ass-Todd: …you know what dick, I think I’ll take you up on that!

Tim, lunging out of his chair at him: YOU MOTHERFU-

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поменяла шмотками

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Jason: *running full speed* Call 911!! Cop!Dick chasing after him: I am 911! Jason: No you're not!

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I know there’s the trope about how special it is when someone who hates everyone falls in love with you but-

There’s something really special about someone whom every single person in the world is in love with - to be in love with you.