shipperofdoomedships

[shipperofdoomedships]

I am not explaining myself.

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enid: you are the devil!

wednesday: first of all, enid, the devil is white.

-☆-

enid: wednesday! you're bleeding!

wednesday: what an astute observation, enid. that’s exactly what happens when you get stabbed.

-☆-

gomez: this family reunion is going so great.

enid: so great. we’re having a fun time, aren’t we, wednesday?

wednesday: i want to die.

-☆-

wednesday: you love me, right?

enid: what the fuck did you do?

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Enid: WHAT?!

Yoko: *stunned* You’re kidding us.

Wednesday: I do not kid.

Enid: Y-You think Xavier has a HOT BOD?!

Wednesday: I said “body,” but yes.

Enid: *dazedly gets up* She thinks Xavier is hot…

Wednesday: Too hot, in fact.

Yoko: Hold up, pup— Too hot?

Enid: *vacant stare* Willa—my Willa—thinks that piece of…

Wednesday: Quite. Thorpe would be significantly more tolerable were his body at room temperature.

Yoko: 🤨

Yoko: 🤔

Yoko: OH! His body tempera— HEY PUP! She means she prefers Xavier dead!

Yoko: *looks around*

Yoko: Pup? Where’d she—

Xavier: *distant shrieking*

Enid: MINE, you hear me? MINE!!

Wednesday: *dreamy sigh*

Yoko: 🤦‍♀️

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Wednesday: It is bold of you to accuse an Addams of being affected by such mundane intoxicants.

Bianca: You were flirting with Enid.

Wednesday: Of course. She is my beloved.

Bianca: You asked her if she were single.

Wednesday: I— what?

Bianca: And then when she said she wasn’t, you ran off in tears—

Wednesday: That’s preposterous.

Bianca: —and spent the rest of the night concocting an elaborate plan to win her heart—

Wednesday: Less preposterous.

Bianca: —that would have resulted in a frankly astonishing amount of property damage—

Wednesday: Plausible.

Bianca: —the desecration of at least one priceless piece of art—

Wednesday: Acceptable.

Bianca: —and potentially several dozen fatalities across the entire state.

Wednesday: Likely.

Bianca: So do you have anything to say for yourself, Addams?

Wednesday:

Wednesday: This supposed plan, do you know where it—

Bianca: Enid burnt the ever-loving shit out of it the moment you passed out.

Wednesday: *sulks*

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Enid: Wednesday, you’ve gotta fight your inner demons!

Wednesday: Been there, done that.

Enid: Whut?

Wednesday: Where do you think this leather jacket came from? The inner ones have the most supple skin, after all.

Enid: Ohmygod that’s horrible!

Wednesday: I must point out that yours would most certainly be pink.

Enid:

Enid:

Enid: Really?

— Later that week. —

Yoko: Girl, that pink leather jacket be drippin’!

Enid: Oops, must’ve missed a spot!

Yoko: 🤨

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"I can cast illusions. I can control a feeble mind. I can move objects using my will. But I cannot heal you."

Now I finally understood Agatha's reaction to Rio healing her hand and I want to kms

Probably part of her anger towards Rio (and herself) is because Rio has the power to heal but she couldn't heal Nicky - whatever he needed to be healed of - because he wasn't even supposed to be born, but Rio bent the rules for Agatha, but there were limits to what she could do.

So every time Rio healed her, it was a reminder that neither she or Rio could have saved their son - yes, Nicky was their son and idc about anything else

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you KNOW she and Peggy Carter fucked nasty

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In light of recent events....

(gaga joining the Wednesday crew)

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During another Parent’s Day, Enid searches for her girlfriend.

Enid: Hey B, have you seen Willa?

Bianca: Yeah, she was just here. Mentioned something about serving cunt for dinner—

Enid: Huh. Okay.

Bianca: —before stalking off with the meanest meat cleaver I’ve ever seen.

Enid:

Enid: *grabs Bianca* Which way did she go?!

Bianca: Get off me! Your psycho went that way! *points*

Enid: *drops Bianca and RUNS* Sorrythanksbye!

Bianca: *brushes self off* Crazy bitch.

Enid: *distantly* WEDNESDAY FRIDAY ADDAMS, LET GO OF MY MOM!

Wednesday: *also distantly* But you said she’s a cunt.

Enid: I also said NO KILLING MY MOM!

Wednesday: Who said anything about killing?

Enid: But Bianca said you were gonna ‘serve cunt for dinner.’

Wednesday: She’s a werewolf. It would grow back. Eventually.

Enid:

Enid: WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT?!

Wednesday: For the double entendre.

Enid:

Enid: *flamboyant cursing*

Esther: *shrill tone* Enid, if you’re quite done, hurry up and make your little deranged freak take her grubby hands—

Enid: *snarls* SHUT UP, BITCH! Don’t call her—

Esther: *scream in pain*

Enid: WEDNESDAY, NO!! THAT WAS NOT PERMISSION!!

Wednesday: *disappointed* Fine.

Bianca:

Bianca: And to think, I used to hate Parent’s Day.

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Enid: Okay, babe, truth or dare?

Wednesday: Truth.

Enid: How are you planning to murder my mom?

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Dare.

Enid: Don’t murder my mom.

Wednesday: I loath this game.

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Bianca: What’s wrong with Xavier this time?

Wednesday: He is suffering from comphem.

Bianca: Uh—no. That boy is actual factual straight. Nothing compulsory about it. And why the heck would he be in the infirmary for that?

Wednesday: I said comphem, not comphet.

Bianca: The fuck is that?

Wednesday: Compulsory hemorrhaging.

Bianca:

Bianca: What?

Wednesday: *matter-of-factly* Society pressures him to bleed profusely.

Bianca: Society.

Wednesday: Precisely.

Bianca: Does this ‘society’ happen to be a five foot three blonde with hair dyed like Harley Quinn and a possessive streak wider than the fucking Amazon River?

Wednesday: Whatever are you implying?

Bianca: Bitch, I’m—

Enid: *runs up* Willa, where’s the spare bleach?!

Wednesday: My closet, right wall, second shelf from the bottom, next to the Luminol.

Enid: Thank, babe! *kisses Wednesday’s cheek*

Wednesday: *merely nods*

Enid: Oh hi, B! Bye, B! *scampers off*

Bianca:

Wednesday:

Bianca: *smirks*

Wednesday: *glares* What is it?

Bianca: It uh—looks like society left some pink lip gloss— *points* —on your cheek.

Wednesday: *sighs* Society is quite, shall we say, compulsively homosexual.

Bianca:

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The memes are making themselves at this point 🤣

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Weems: You need to stop with these 'investigations!' It's affecting the whole school's reputation! Wednesday: fuck you. Meanwhile Wednesday: Enid: Go apologise to Thing. Wednesday: ... Wednesday: Yes, mi amor

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