shipperofdoomedships

[shipperofdoomedships]

"Would anyone want to read --" Listen, imma stop you right there. Yes. YES, someone would want to read that. You write that weird little fucked up story. Or that domestic little slice of life story. That drabble or that 300k monster.

I promise someone wants to read it.

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[shipperofdoomedships]

THIS

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Wednesday: Enid, I require your assistance with this zipper.

Enid: I gotchu, babe.

Wednesday:

Wednesday: The body bag, Enid. The body bag.

Enid: *pouts* Not your dress?

Wednesday:

Wednesday: After.

Enid. 🥰

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[shipperofdoomedships]

Wednesday: All blades have two cutting edges.

Bianca: Excuse me? That is objectively false.

Wednesday: Is it? I say that it’s a matter of perspective, similar to the idiom of a cup at half capacity.

Bianca: So like is the glass half empty or half full?

Wednesday: Correct. In this case, the question is whether the edge cuts effortlessly—

Wednesday: —or with blood, sweat, and stalwart determination, like anything worth doing.

Bianca: 🤨

Bianca: Wait. So when you called Enid dull, you actually meant that she’s… worth doing?

Wednesday: Superlatively so. Was it not obvious?

Bianca: Are you kidding me? She dropped her books and ran away.

Wednesday: That was merely a tactical retreat, so that she could recuperate from my devastating flirtation.

Bianca: 🤦

– At the same moment in Yoko’s room. –

Yoko: *gasps* She called you DULL?

Enid: Right? Can you believe how flirty she’s being?

Yoko: What a total bit—

Yoko: 🤨

Yoko: Excuse me, but did you just imply that Princess Monotoné was being flirty?

Enid: Obvi!

Yoko:

Yoko: Obvi HOW?

Enid: It’s Wednesday. Have you seen her wardrobe? Dull is kinda her thing.

Yoko: Um. And?

Enid: And she’s totally hinting that she wants me all over her, that saucy minx.

Yoko: 😬

Yoko: Yeah, all over her like a fur coat.

Enid: A sexy fur coat.

Yoko: 🤦‍♀️

[shipperofdoomedships]

he needs enrichment

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Enid: Divina?

Wednesday: Pass.

Enid: Huh. Okay, how about Yoko?

Wednesday: Smash.

Enid: *stares* Are you being for reals?

Wednesday: When am I not?

Enid: Wow. I did not expect that one. Um… Kent?

Wednesday: Smash, I suppose.

Enid: 😟

Enid: Ajax?

Wednesday: Smash.

Enid: 😨

Enid: *worriedly* Xavier?

Wednesday: With all certainty, smash.

Enid: 😱

Enid: What about… what about me…?

Wednesday: *intense stare* As if there could be any answer other than pass.

Enid: 🫢

Enid: 😭

Enid: *runs off sobbing*

Wednesday: *stares after Enid*

Wednesday: Thing, attend to Enid and ascertain what is troubling her—

Thing: 👍

Wednesday: —while I get started on her requests.

Thing:

Thing: *questioning gesture*

Wednesday: A game? Ridiculous. That was obviously Enid’s cutesy version of a hit list. Now see to my wolf. I have smashing to do.

Wednesday: *hefts a medieval war club and storms away*

Thing: 👋

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this hit me like a truck

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Enid: Sorry, willa, but if this is gonna work, you're just gonna have to get used to sharing the bed with my squishmallow collection.

Wednesday: Don't you think it's time you grew out of your need to sleep with these colorful animal replicas?

Enid, without thinking: Don't you think it's time you grew out of a height that starts with the number four

Wednesday:

Enid:

_____

Enid: So that's why I need to spend the night here.

Yoko:

Yoko: I'm not sharing the bed with all 167 of your squishmallows either.

Enid: son of a-

[shipperofdoomedships]

Pre-Wenclair. Yoko runs into Wednesday after having spent the day hanging with Enid.

Yoko: Hey, Addams, you gotta see this Polaroid I took of Enid.

Yoko: *hands over said photo* She looks absolutely adorkable in it.

Wednesday: *studies the photo* How… unremarkable.

Yoko: Well, in that case, I’ll just take it back. *reaches for the photo*

Wednesday: *steps away* Over your dead body.

Yoko: 😐

Yoko: I think you mean over my dead body.

Wednesday: Precisely. Over your dead body.

Yoko: My.

Wednesday: Your.

Yoko: 🤨

Yoko: *looks Wednesday up and down*

Yoko: Silly question, but just how many stakes are you currently hiding in that ridiculously oversized coat of yours?

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Yes.

Yoko: 😐

Yoko:

[shipperofdoomedships]

Well, maybe she did...

[shipperofdoomedships]

Lena: Would you rather be deaf or blind?

Kara: Deaf.

Lena: Why?

Kara: You can’t hear tiddies, Lena

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Wednesday: This heat is infernal.

Bianca: Well maybe you shouldn't have worn all black.

Wednesday: This is a summer shade of black.

Enid: Obviously.

(quotes from @moonyswarmsweaters )

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[shipperofdoomedships]

During an interview with Wednesday Addams, when asked about soulmates.

Wednesday: Soulmates? *derisive snort* Don’t be absurd.

Wednesday: The very concept of soulmates is wishful thinking by those who lack the will and commitment to forge their own path.

Wednesday: My love for Enid was no involuntary act of cosmic whimsy. Like any good murder, it was premeditated.

Wednesday: *tilts her chin up* A precisely calculated series of developments that I was both completely aware of and complicit in.

Interviewer: So you knew? The entire—

Wednesday: Yes, from the very beginning.

– Camera cuts to Enid Sinclair. –

Enid: She said that? *snorts a laugh* Oh please! Premeditated my ass.

Enid: I freaking love my Willa, but back then she was about as in touch with her feelings as Thing is with the rest of his body.

Enid: Speaking of Thing, he’s the one who told me that when Willa first realized how she felt, she went completely catatonic for three whole days.

Enid: *tilts back in her seat* Then, after she finally snapped out of it, she immediately tried to have herself committed.

Interviewer: Committed? You mean—

Enid: Yup! To a mental institution.

Interviewer: So did you know? From the beginning?

Enid: About our bond? Oh yeah, obvi.

– Camera cuts to Yoko Tanaka. –

Yoko: *laughing hysterically*

Interviewer: Miss Tanaka?

Yoko: Sorry! Could you— *snickers* —repeat that?

Interviewer: Enid told me she was aware of her bond with Wednesday from the st—

Yoko: *laughs so hard she farts*

Interview: 🤦‍♂️

Yoko: 🤣

[shipperofdoomedships]

well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.