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if I had one nickel for every time I watched an episode of a procedural show where a middle aged catholic male character received a medal he thinks he shouldn't get because he feels he has too many flaws and he's undeserving of being called a hero, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird it's happened twice.

(just watched 2x23 of swat where Deacon receives a star for saving civilians from being run over, during a pride parade. the parallels sure are paralleling.)

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/ not discourse, just curious what everyone thinks

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Happy 9th week of pregnancy to Tommy Kinard who is still trying to figure out how to tell Buck that he found out he was pregnant the day after they split. Anyways, his baby is the size of a strawberry and growing muscles this week!! 💪

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you know the drill, please reblog for a bigger sample size

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LOU FERRIGNO JR. | MEN'S HEALTH (2021)

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The thing is, Max, you and me, we can weigh in on this but…

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“The breakup was premature but that was by design” fucking haunts me. Is he saying “it’s premature because it isn’t over yet. I broke them up for a reason and they’ll fix it.” OR is he saying “it’s premature because it’s meant to hurt Buck more that it’s over.” And we just don’t know because we had to spend two episodes on fucking Brad.

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sorry i can’t hang out today i have to think about tommy kinard. yeah…it’s gonna be an all day thing.

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Random shower thought of doom - Imagine if Ryan did leave the show, and Tim decided to be a little bitch and have a line where he and Tommy are living together. Nothing confirming queer Eddie or Eddie/Tommy. Just, apparently Tommy decided for a fresh start, and Eddie told him about a position and he took it, and now they're living the confirmed bachelor life together.

Honestly this is the funniest way Roommates era can still win.

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I wish BoB's could take a second and look at episodes objectively, like without the Tommy of it all. Because, watching Confessions as a fan of all the characters, was just bad. It sucked. Eddie didn't get any character growth, Maddie was doing some weird hidden pregnancy thing for some reason, they had a fucking Glee speech, Maddie made a homophobic "joke", I could go on. Like, take the shipping goggles off for a second and realize you (generally speaking), in fact, did not get what you wanted.

I’m so mad their pregnancy was unplanned again. It makes way more narrative sense for them to come to the conclusion they want more kids together without having the situation essentially forced on them.

And yeah the Eddie thing started out strong! He acknowledged his mistakes to Father Brian!!! He said what happened! And then Fr Brian is like “you should do something frivolous.” And that’s it? No follow up? Is he going to actually work on acknowledging to Chris what happened? Has he talked about The Incident with Chris at all the past three months? Is he really going to settle for going to El Paso and being a witness to his son’s life? Obviously I think the answer is supposed to be “wait and see” but there’s been so little movement on him actually acknowledging the root cause of his actions, which is the grief he has for Shannon. Do you know how easy it would be for them to have him talk to the Real Shannon (i.e. her grave)? They’ve already shown that location before! They were at the graveyard this season! Talking to Shannon’s grave about missing out on Chris’s childhood would be so much more impactful than Brad being the reason that makes Eddie decides to leave.

And the Glee speech wouldn’t be so bad if it was actually leading somewhere you know? They take pains to explain why Tommy had a comphet relationship with Abby using Glee as a metaphor for social progress and that would have been great if it lead to anything positive for Tommy like an “i love you” for instance but because it doesn’t actually let Tommy have something nice despite his past mistakes born of fear, it instead comes off as the hand of the writers reaching down to jerk off Ryan Murphy, which isn’t a good look when the show is a Ryan Murphy Production.

And everyone has said it but the fact “how many men did she turn gay?” Was the perfect set up for Buck to say he’s bisexual is just so indicative of this season’s inability to follow through on anything. You’re telling me Buck wouldn’t say “well I’m bi actually” instead of that round about “I kissed a boy” thing? Hell he could have said both things and it would have flowed better. “Well first of all I’m bi and she was gone long before I ever kissed a boy.” *cue Josh*

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Buck said he’s the guy that likes to fix things and Lou said Tommy is broken… oh… oh they don’t even know how even in the breakup they’re being endgame coded.

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me when someone asks if i have a twitter or whatever: idk i’m not really on social media that much

me on tumblr: peeing again

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Guys, good news! I received an official breakdown of the back half of 911 season 8:

809: Maddie is kidnapped, kicking everyone into high gear to do everything they can to find her. Time is running out. The last scene cuts to an unknown location. The tv is on the news, covering Maddie's abduction. As we swivel around to the couch, we see the hero that will save the day: Brad.

810: Brad gets a detective costume from work and begins his own hunt for Maddie. Shockingly, he's able to find her before anyone else. Chimney, rightfully, pushes Maddie to the side so he can give Brad a hug.

811: Buck is sad that Eddie is leaving, he still wants to talk to Tommy and it has been months by now. By the end of the episode, he is seen knocking on someone's door. When it opens, there he is. Brad.

812: Seeing as Brad has multiple wives, he invites Buck to one of his many orgies. #LetBuckFuck begins, but this time there's meaning behind it because Buck thinks he might be falling for Brad and his accent. He's got a Brad Boner. But who doesn't, am I right?!?!

813: When a helicopter rescue is needed, we see Tommy again for the first time since the breakup. He's about to speak to Buck when, through a cloud of smoke, Brad appears. He knows how to fly helicopters from a three episode stint on Fly Birds. He tosses Tommy out of the helicopter and takes off. Gets in a helicopter crash. Buck is a mess.

814-816: a Hotshots 3 parter. No one from the main cast is present. The entire thing is presented as though we are actually watching Hotshots.

817: Brad Begins

818: Brad gives up on acting to become a firefighter. He takes over as Captain of the 118, while Bobby goes on to be chief. Eddie leaves for Texas. Brad gets divorced and he and Buck make sweet, sweet love.

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I could watch this for hours 🐈🐈

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my left tit for a scene where tommy gets to talk about his family, instead of just vague mentions and a passing comment about a cousin. even if it’s not happy, just to share with buck and be known, to not hide away personal things because he thinks they’re unimportant - buck wants to know all of him. 😩🫠

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It takes a serial killer, Eddie nearly moving to Texas, and a crashed helicopter for Tommy and Evan to find their way back to each other. After the dust has settled and bones have started to heal, they meet up and agree to take it slow this time around.

Tommy doesn't know why he's surprised by Evan's commitment to slow, but for as fast as everything had gone the first time, now it's absolutely glacial. It reminds him of middle schoolers navigating their first approximation of a relationship, only Evan will brush a soft kiss on his cheek as an accompaniment to a, Goodnight, I love you.

It's sweet. Achingly so, and for the first month, Tommy appreciates the way that Evan is holding back in deference to Tommy's wish. As the second month approaches, he knows it was his idea to not take their relationship in leaps and bounds, but God, he wants.

Evan hugs him hello, and Tommy wants to scrape his teeth over the side of his neck. He holds the door open for Tommy, and he wants to shove him up against it and close it behind them, shutting them off from the world. He'd thought he'd known what it was to want Evan, to feel that gnawing ache to consume and be consumed, but it's nothing compared to the feeling that rages inside him, now that all of their contact is carefully rationed.

Every shoulder knocked, every goodnight kiss, and every fleeting touch is electric. They'd held hands during a movie, and Tommy had spent an hour in the dark of the theater unable to believe that it made him half-hard.

By the impetus of the third month, Tommy's on the razor's edge of arousal any time Evan's within seeing distance. They'd been at the grocery store just the day before, and Tommy had gotten caught on the stretch of Evan's shirt across his shoulders as he contemplated two different artisanal cheeses and had gotten hard so quickly he had to shrug off his zip up sweater and strategically tie it around his waist.

Needless to say, he's going insane.

They're sitting on the couch together, watching An Affair to Remember because it's one of Tommy's favorites and Evan's never seen it before, and Tommy can't concentrate on the movie worth a damn. Evan's been gently tracing lines over the bare skin of his bicep for the last forty minutes, and Tommy's so achingly, disproportionately horny that it's actually making him tear up. When Evan glances over and catches the glimmer in his eyes, his own gaze goes dewy and warm with affection; no doubt he assumes Tommy is a normal person reacting to an emotional movie, and not someone who's one five finger touch away from coming in his sweats.

The cuddling kicks up a notch. Evan leans back against the arm of the sofa and pulls Tommy down with him, the angle making his exploratory fingers find purchase on Tommy's sternum rather than his arm. He keeps rubbing the tips of his fingers in Tommy's chest hair, careful when it snags on his work-worn fingernails, and Tommy is so delirious from all his blood being in his dick that it never occurs to him to ask Evan to stop, or even to gently nudge his fingers somewhere else.

And then Evan's fingers slip over his nipple - not teasing, or pinching, or any movement even remotely sexual, just...resting there, splayed across his pec and drumming an unconscious beat alongside Tommy's racing heart, and-

Evan's finger twitches, nail scraping against the nub, and Tommy's gone. His leg kicks out involuntarily, dropping from the sofa to the floor, and he lets out a shocked, choked off groan as warmth floods his briefs, coming in his pants for the first time in a very, very long time.

When he comes to, Evan is holding him, careful and close, one arm wrapped over Tommy's chest and the other petting through slightly sweaty curls. "Fuck," Tommy croaks, even as he can feel Evan's smile against his temple, lips pressed there in a kiss. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Evan, I-"

"Don't be sorry," Evan murmurs, hips flexing behind Tommy, and that's the first time Tommy becomes aware of a similar damp patch pressing into his middle back. "That was so fucking hot, babe, oh my God."

Tommy can't help but surge up into a kiss, too wet and wide and hot, but Evan - beautiful, amazing, gorgeous Evan - meets him halfway.

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Rocker and Deacon are out shopping for groceries or whatever and Deacon just subconsciously reaches to hold Rocker's hand or to put his hand on Rocker's waist, while they're talking about something else, and Deacon not letting go even when they bump into someone they know.

Rocker is a little surprised because he remembers how they started off all clandestine and now Deacon is freely showing affection in front of others.

Okay, I saw this and had to write something about it 😩 then it turned into 1000 words! I hope you enjoy!

They've been together, really together, for four months now. No more hiding, no more affair, no more dirty little secret.

Deacon's moved into his own apartment, he's explained everything to the kids, he and Annie are figuring things out through their attorneys.

He and Rocker have even filled out all the proper relationship agreements at work.

All these steps came pretty naturally. They left both Deacon and Rocker feeling more free than they ever had their entire lives. Like a heavy weight had been lifted off of them.

They weren't exactly the most exciting pair. Sure, the sex was incredible, adventurous, sometimes daring, but life was about more than sex.

It was about fixing the broken cabinets in Deacon's apartment, it was dealing with the nightmares Rocker sometimes suffered from, it was making sure they got enough rest to be able to deal with whatever happened at work the next day.

It was figuring out who they were as a couple, all the things they liked and all the things they hated. It was laughing together, fighting together, helping each other, holding each other.

It was dealing with grocery shopping for two households on a Saturday afternoon.

“We should have gotten two carts.”

“You really want to try and maneuver two carts down every aisle through all these people?”

Deacon managed to step out of the way just before a lady could ram him with her cart. He sighed. “No. I just want to be done with this.”

“We just gotta get some breakfast foods for your place and we'll be finished.” He waved Deacon along. “Scoot scoot.”

With an eye roll, he turned and headed for the next aisle, Rocker following behind with the cart.

Deacon grabbed up a box of Fruity Pebbles and placed it on the side that had all his items, stopping with he noticed the look Rocker gave him.

“What?”

“That for you?” Rocker asked.

“Do I look like a Fruity Pebbles kinda guy to you?”

“You really want me to answer that?”

Deacon glared at him. “They're for the kids, Donovan. It's their favorite.”

Rocker shook his head, pushing the cart forward to get out of another man's way.

“What? What is that?” Deacon asked. “Why are you shaking your head?”

“They don't like Fruity Pebbles anymore.”

“Yes they do.”

“No they don't.”

“Yes, they- How would you know?”

“The last time they came over,” Rocker explained, “Lila mentioned that Samuel threw up Fruity Pebbles in the car and now none of the kids can handle the smell.”

Deacon picked up the box. “No Fruity Pebbles then,” he said, placing it back on the shelf. After letting three people pass between them, he moved back over to Rocker's side.

“Should I be offended that you know my children better than I do?” he questioned, wrapping an arm around Rocker's waist as they continued down the aisle.

Rocker smiled. “Well, technically you were in the shower when they told me, so...”

“Oh, the truth comes out,” Deacon said with a laugh. “You were just gonna let me think I should know this information?”

Rocker shrugged as they turned the corner. “It's fun to see you squirm sometimes.”

“Oh, you're gonna be doing some sq-”

“David!”

A woman's voice had Rocker and Deacon turning their heads to the side.

“Mrs. Chase!” Deacon greeted, smiling brightly at the older woman. “Good to see you!”

“You too. Busy day in here today, isn't it?”

“That's what we were saying,” Deacon answered, giving Rocker a pat on his side before resting his hand back on the same spot.

It was a little thing, and Rocker knew he should be used to it by now, but he wasn't. They'd spent over a year hiding. Making sure no one saw a touch, a glance, heard an unprofessional word. They'd once driven an hour out of town to go out to dinner somewhere that they knew no one would know them. And even then, Deacon had to be sitting so he could face the entire restaurant, just in case someone were to enter that he recognized.

Now though, with this woman that Deacon knew but Rocker had never seen before, his hand remained just above his hip.

“Mrs. Chase, this is my boyfriend, Donovan Rocker,” Deacon introduced. “He goes by Rocker though.”

And damn, that still felt new too.

Boyfriend.

Not acquaintance.

Not co-worker.

Not friend.

Boyfriend.

It might seem a little juvenile to some, using the word boyfriend when the two of them were in their forties and fifties, but in their line of work “partner” could mean many things. So, boyfriend it was.

Deacon gave Rocker's waist a little squeeze, “Donny, this is Mrs. Chase from my old church. Makes the best pies in the world.”

Rocker smiled, reaching out to give her hand a shake. “Nice to meet you, Ma'am, I've actually heard a lot about you.”

“Oh, my,” she replied with a little giggle, shaking his hand as a blush rose on her cheeks. “You're very handsome.”

“You're very sweet.”

She looked over at Deacon once she let go of Rocker's hand. “A lot of us have missed you at church, David.”

“I miss some of you guys too, it's just... that's Annie's place to go now. It wouldn't be fair to her.”

He left out the part of the news spreading like wildfire as soon as he and Annie filed for divorce. How the rumors had gotten so bad that the priest had called and asked him to not return. It wasn't like he was going to anyway, but that definitely put the final nail in the coffin.

Mrs. Chase nodded, her facial expression remaining soft, nonjudgmental. “Well, you have my number still, don't you?”

“Yes, Ma'am.”

“Good. Use it. Call me soon and I'll bring you a couple of my pies.” She looked back at Rocker. “You like cherry?”

“Love it.”

“Good. I better get going. It was good seeing you, David, and nice meeting you, Rocker.”

After saying their goodbye's, they started down the next aisle.

Using one hand to steer the cart, Rocker wrapped the other around Deacon's shoulder, pulling him closer and pressing a kiss to his temple.

“Can we get out of here now?” Deacon asked, gripping onto Rocker's shirt with his hand as they passed a group of very loud tourists.

“Breakfast foods,” Rocker reminded him.

Deacon dropped his head down. “Damn it.”