selfsacrificingandroid

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best m/f dynamic is a flamboyant bisexual show-off desperately in love with an extremely practical girl who’s difficult to impress 🤩

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upon learning that the upcoming Dracula movie is yet another Dracula/Mina romance, here is an incomplete list of things that would be more interesting in an adaptation than a Dracula/Mina romance:

A romance between Dracula and literally any other character

An origin story for the lady vampires

A feature length adaptation of the Demeter plot (yes, I know this exists already, it deserves more adaptations)

A Dracula origin story set at the Scholomance

Mina and Jonathan going into that "unknown and terrible land" together

Dracula deciding that, rather than just murdering people, he can offer sex in exchange for blood, and chooses to go to London to do this because the locals will not be receptive. He awkwardly tries to ask Jonathan about prostitution in London and Jonathan's proper gentleman sensibilities are affronted

Dracula gets committed to Seward's asylum, somehow

Dracula gets stuck in wolf form and gets adopted by one of the protagonists

Dracula and his ladies go to Van Helsing, expert on the occult that he is, to ask for help trying to conceive

The Crew of Light try to imprison Dracula rather than destroy him, theorizing that, if they can find a way to cure him, everyone he's turned will be cured

Dracula's sexy immortal vampire harem kicking him out of his own castle because they're sick of his shit

Dracula and Van Helsing as bitter exes

The solicitor who gets sent to Dracula is now Gabriel John Utterson, hoping for a nice relaxing vacation after all the Dr. Jekyll business

Sherlock Holmes, somehow

Dracula marries Mrs. Westenra

Dracula is in the Wild West and gets attacked by vampire hunting cowboys

Dracula being so creeped out by Renfield's obsession and vows of servitude that he flees to another country (to which Renfield follows him)

Oscar Wilde fucks Dracula

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I need "god seems to have deserted us" on a shirt solely so I can wear it to work.

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ALSO MINA MISSING JONATHAN IS BREAKING MY HEART I WANT THEM TO BE REUNITED SO MUCH I'M GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

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The Demeter is NOT having a good time

That's it, that's the post

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Renfield working his way up the food chain until he reaches humans 🤝 Dracula working his way up the Demeter's ranks until he reaches the Captain

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I know I'm late but the August 1st entry in Dracula Daily and Re: Dracula is so funny to me bc it's basically;

Captain of The Demeter: It's so over.

Mina and Lucy: We are so back.

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what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore

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the demeter bits are the scariest to me. like the most horror that dracula gets. all these guys poor, working-class guys don't even get [full] names. i'd be one of them they're not lords or doctors so they don't have cowboys or minas to protect them.

i feel bad.

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what if we were both robots...... and we had rapport.....

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One last shitpost I crammed out before my flight while getting harassed by security for having a BP cuff in my bag

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me normally: i'm not personally a huge fan of modern art

me around right wingers: I love modern art sooooo much and I think there should be litter boxes in schools also

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Just saw a man ride past in a bicycle with another man sitting on his lap like in a bridal carry

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"I am unhappy about Jonathan. I had not heard from Jonathan for some time, and was very concerned."