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“This year taught me that my loneliness has more to do with myself than anyone else. The loneliest I will ever be is when I do not have the strength to love myself.”

— Marianna Paige

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Come Sit By Me

Come sit by me, and I’ll ask you what your name is. How old are you and where does your family come from? Are they proud of you and all of the things that you’ve done? Come sit by me and I’ll interrogate you for fun. Come sit by me, and I’ll ask you what you do for a living. What are your hobbies and how do you spend your time? Is it getting harder for you to make a living off a dime? Come sit by me and I’ll make your heartbeat climb. Come sit by me, and I’ll be your new best friend. Monopolize you as you alienate from the entire crowd. Make you wonder what you’ve done that you could ever feel proud. Come sit by me and I’ll shout your fears aloud. Come sit by me, and I’ll tear you apart from your comfort. I will rip you away from every security blanket that you own, and I will empty you out until anxiety fills up your bones. Come sit by me and I’ll make you feel alone.   - SMP 💙

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pink rhododendrons in the park

2024/04/29

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San Valentino alla Muta, 2020

(Olympus OM10, Konica VX400 expired)

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Love, Perhaps

It’s a strange thing, isn’t it? Thinking you’ve fallen for someone? Getting confused and terrified, excited at the same time at the possibility of something more. I thought rejection would hurt a lot more, I thought it would hurt like the movies. With screams and crying in the middle of the night, depression, not being able to function without who you thought was your true love. I didn’t think it would be relief, or a blip in the moment, slight disappointment that this person doesn’t see you the same way you see them. And then, nothing. Just friendship and finally not having to care. Relief. 

But I could still list all the ways I love you. The way you laugh, how you squeeze your eyes shut and barely any sound comes out, the way your hair sits in the morning, your jokes and conversations, your respect for my space. You make me want to say thank you a million times over instead of sorry. You make me want to shout at the top of my lungs as we fight over coins or when I insist on paying for that one canned drink of yours. It’s like having a brother, a little bit. Some company, a friend who I can rely on truly. Not to say other people haven’t been there for me in the past. They have. But I haven’t been loved back so easily and unconditionally as this. I’ve never felt like someone genuinely enjoys my company, like someone’s eyes would search for me in a room, like someone would wait for me to hop on the train before they leave. Perhaps there is no difference and this is all in my head, but still, I love you, wholeheartedly, fiercely and with all of me. So what if it isn’t romantic? I don’t need kisses and presents and I love yous to burn the world down for you. I don’t need hugs and special gestures and late night texts to know I would gladly fight hundreds to defend you. Platonic or romantic, I love you. And it’s nice feeling like you love me too.

Perhaps you won’t ever understand what it means when you pass me a couple of coins, or why I smile so brightly when I meet your gaze. Why I cry when you say thank you or when you give something in return for buying you a drink (even if it is 20 cents). Perhaps I am a little broken, a little sore around the edges. Perhaps that’s why every little gesture makes me euphoric. It’s how I show my love, how I used to treat my friends and how I still do. So for you to do the same, to reciprocate in my own language of care and compassion and understanding, it means the whole world. It means everything to me. So thank you, thank you for all the little things, all the big things, thank you for understanding and thank you for accepting. Thank you for everything.

I love you, I love you, I love you. And I hope that you know that I love you. Because people like you and me, as I like to believe, we don’t get as much love as we need. We starve for company, companionship, understanding and support. And please, please know that I am here for you. I am here, willingly, unconditionally, without doubt and without fail. I will love you today, tomorrow, five years from now. I will love you when we grow old, when we grow apart, I would like to love you when the world ends and when the afterlife begins.

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Captivated by your smile so bright,

Radiating warmth, my heart takes flight.

Undeniably drawn to your every move,

Shy glances, emotions I can't prove.

Heart skips a beat when you're around,

Every moment with you, I am spellbound.

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How I’m trying to be

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My name is Scott

Everything I post is original

Do not take anything of mine or edit it

•I like to write poetry

•Draw

•Paint

•Play guitar

•Take photos

I take photos on a Practica BCA 35mm camera

This is just a place for me to post my stuff, if you want to let me know how to improve something then I’m always open to criticism

I enjoy poetry a lot but I don’t know how to make it better so please help

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Italy 2024

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Italy 2024

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I went to Italy recently so might post some of my 35mm here

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{Quotes:Nitya prakash/Richard siken ,crush}