sanderssidescookbook

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HOT BUTTERED RUM RECIPE

Makes 32 servings

1 stick of salted butter

1 cup of brown sugar

1/4 tsp vanilla

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1 bottle of spiced rum (or booze of choice)

1. Stir sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg

2. Cream with butter and vanilla

You now have Hot Buttered Rum batter. Store it for a week on the shelf or a month in the fridge.

To use the batter, mix 1 TBSP with 6oz (3/4 cup) boiling water and 1 oz (2 TBSP) rum.

If you don't have spiced rum you can also use brandy or whiskey.

Enjoy your winter.

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Janus' Two-Faced Melon Soup 🍈🎭

Sometimes being two-faced can actually be pretty sweet. 💛

Prep time: 10-20 minutes. Chill time: 3 hours.

Ingredients:

1 cantaloupe

2 Tbsp lemon juice

1 small honeydew melon

2 Tbsp lime juice

2 tsp minced fresh mint leaves (yes, the fresh part is important - do not substitute dry mint!)

Plain Greek yogurt, to taste

Blueberries, to taste

Mint sprigs for garnish (optional)

Steps:

1. Cut both melons in half, then remove the seeds.

2. Using an ice cream scoop, grapefruit spoon, or whatever you have on hand, scoop the cantaloupe into a blender. Add the lemon and blend until smooth. Cover and place in the fridge to chill.

3. Do the exact same for the honeydew, lime juice and fresh mint.

Note: If you can, you may wish to transfer the soups to something with a spout or lip that will make it easier to pour.

4. After the soups have chilled for at least 3 hours, put a dollop of yogurt in the center of each of your serving bowls.

5. Pour the two soups into the bowls carefully and simultaneously, until the dollop of yogurt is no longer visible. If done right, they will not mix or blend, even when carrying the bowls to the table.

6. Add blueberries and mint garnish. Be careful when adding the berries, as you do not want to create a splash.

7. Serve immediately, and enjoy!

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Patton's Bubblegum Cupcakes 🍬 🧁

Ingredients:

For the cake:

1 package funfetti cupcake mix, plus the ingredients needed to prepare it

For the bubblegum frosting:

4 cups powdered sugar

1 cup high-ratio shortening

1/2 cup water

1 tsp bubblegum flavor (you can buy this at most craft stores or online!)

Pink or blue food coloring

Directions:

1. For more heavily-frosted cupcakes like the one in the example picture, prepare half the cake mix according to the directions on the box. For less heavily-frosted cupcakes, prepare the entire mix.

2. In a large bowl, combine all of the ingredients for the frosting with an electric mixer at high speed until creamy.

3. Once the unfrosted cupcakes have cooled, use a pastry bag with a star tip (also known as a drop flower tip) to frost them. Begin in the center of the cupcake and spiral out wards, then back inwards to make a perfect peak! It's that easy!

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Patton's Sunny-Side Up Biscuit Cups 🌞🥓🍳

Ingredients:

(1) 10-pack of Pillsbury regular size buttermilk biscuits - NOT jumbo!

5 strips of low sodium turkey bacon

10 large eggs - NOT extra large!

Canola cooking spray

Steps:

1. Preheat your oven to 350°F. Spray a muffin pan thoroughly with nonstick canola cooking spray.

2. Cut your bacon in half to make 10 pieces, then fry until crispy.

3. One by one, stretch and flatten your uncooked biscuits, then tuck them into the muffin tin so that they form small cups, reaching 3/4 of the way up the sides of the pan.

4. Crumble the bacon into the dough cups, one half-piece per cup, pressing the crumbly bits into the sides and bottom.

5. Carefully crack one egg on top of each cup, making sure not to break the yolks. The raw egg should not overflow. Bake for 20 minutes or until the egg whites are no longer runny.

Tip: when serving, carefully run a butter knife around the edge of each biscuit cup to loosen it up before trying to remove it from the pan.

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Remus' Mountain Dew Baja Blast Cake

Author's note: credit for this recipe goes to @bluebandedagate

Ingredients:

1 box of carrot cake mix**

1 (20oz) bottle of Mountain Dew Baja Blast

1 stick of room temperature butter

2 cups of powdered sugar

1 tsp vanilla

Steps:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Lube up your baking pan.

2. Mix 10oz (1.25 cups) Baja Blast with the cake mix. Pour it into the pan and slap that bad bitch into the oven!

3. Bake for 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

4. While your cake is baking, toss the powdered sugar, butter, vanilla, and 1/4 cup Baja blast in a big ol' bowl. Beat on high speed with an electric mixer until creamy.

5. Once the cake is cool enough to Frost, slather your Baja blast frosting all over that motherfucker and enjoy!

**Logan's Lowdown: For a cake that isn't disgusting, use lemon cake mix instead.

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stop everything, this is bitty doing research for his thesis

there's more lmao, unhinged bitty energy

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Remember folks, never feed this to Roman!

I use white pepper for #aesthetics and add a little less than 1/8 of a teaspoon of nutmeg.

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Parsley Biscuits, from Molly’s Cooking Studio. They recommended using the cookie cutter that came with the book, but those are all so small that it would have made way more than twelve, tiny biscuits.

There was a bit too much flour so they didn’t get very flakey. At least they weren’t hard. The parsley taste wasn’t bad but I found it slightly off-putting.

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Gareth is going to bake rainbow cupcakes tomorrow! Stay tuned!

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Gareth is going to bake rainbow cupcakes tomorrow! Stay tuned!

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Good morning nerds, today I am powering through a hangover so I'm gonna show off the bread I made yesterday.

This one is a cinnamon loaf, so you are going to need:

2 1/4 tsp yeast

2 cups warm water

4 1/2ish cups flour

2 1/4 tsp salt

2 1/4 tsp sugar

1 tbsp ground cinnamon

1/4 cup honey

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

3 tbsp Bread Lube (your choice of oil)

You will also need, For Later:

1/2 cups brown sugar

2 tbsp ground cinnamon

1 stick butter

1/2 nutmeg

1 tsp cloves

1/2 allspice

First, mix your water and yeast with about half the flour. Mix well, but a few clumps are fine. Then put on some funky music and leave your yeast to it for like half an hour.

Come back when it gets bubbly.

Add in everything else except the stuff we set aside For Later. When it's well mixed, put a dough hook on your stand mixer and let it run for a few minutes. If you don't have one of those, just skip that step. You'll make up for it with more kneading.

Flour your work surface and throw down your dough. It will be sticky. Knead with the flour until it feels nice and silky.

Cinnamon bread is made with love.

A little heartbreak is good for you. Within reason.

When you're done kneading (when your shoulders are heavy but your feelings aren't so leaden) lube up a bowl and toss that dough in. Put more oil on top of the dough and cover it.

Put your music back on. Walk away for a couple hours. Your yeast would like another round.

Take this time to go eat a snack and perhaps do some small chores. Read fanfic. Build a snowman.

When you come back, the dough will have roughly doubled in size. Flour your work surface and Punch it down again.

Knead it some more. Think on the catharsis of gently weeping into your bread bowl. Do not actually begin weeping.

Remember that stuff we set aside For Later? It's Later.

Melt your butter and throw everything in and mix until you get a nice slurry. It will look like apple butter.

Flatten your dough into a roughly rectangular shape. Spread this slurry over it. Keep a little bit back.

Now roll it up.

Oil a baking pan and put the roll seam-side down. Cover it and switch to your 2003 Nightclub playlists. Your yeast wants another go.

After an hour or so, come back.

Take the rest of the mix that you held back earlier and slather liberally across the top of your roll.

Toss that in the oven at 375F for 35ish minutes.

BREAD.

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Patton’s Sweet Potato Pie 🥧

This is an old family recipe, but since we’re all family in a way, I think it’s ok if I share it with you! It’s somewhat of a tradition to make around the holiday season, especially since you can tweak the recipe a little to use some leftover Thanksgiving sweet potatoes to make it. Maybe it can be a new tradition for you, too! Just don’t forget the secret ingredient: love. 💙

Ingredients:

Unbaked 9 1/2 inch pie shell

2 cups mashed boiled sweet potatoes

1/2 cup honey

1 tsp. cinnamon

1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice

1/2 tsp. salt

1 heart full of love

3 large eggs

1/3 cup sugar

2 Tbsp. brown sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

2 Tbsp. molasses

1 cup whole pecans, to decorate

Steps:

1. Preheat the oven to 350F. Mix the potato, honey, molasses, cinnamon, salt, and pie spice in a large bowl.

2. In a separate medium bowl, beat the eggs, then gradually add the sugars and vanilla. Pour into potato mixture and mix well.

3. Pour filling into pie shell, then lovingly arrange pecans on top. Bake for 1 hour or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow pie to settle before serving (you will know it has settled when the surface is flat instead of raised).

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Patton’s Peanut Butter Fudge Brownies

When everything starts to feel like it’s just too much, sometimes it can be comforting to fall back on classic comfort foods. These brownies are a wonderful pick-me-up for when you’re feeling down, though you don’t need a bad mood as an excuse to make them! 💙

Note: If you wish, you can substitute 4oz unsweetened baking chocolate for the cocoa powder and canola oil in the Brownie Layer and ½ cup semisweet chocolate chips for the cocoa powder, powdered sugar and chocolate chips in the glaze.

For the Brownie Layer:

12 tablespoons cocoa powder

4 tablespoons canola oil

¾ cup (1 ½ sticks) butter

2 cups sugar

3 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup flour

1 cup chopped peanuts

For the Peanut Butter Layer:

1 cup peanut butter

½ cup powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

For the Glaze:

12 tablespoons cocoa powder

12 tablespoons powdered sugar

4 tablespoons canola oil

¼ cup (½ stick) butter

Steps for the Brownie Layer:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 13 x 9 inch baking pan.

2. Combine the cocoa powder and canola oil in a small microwave-safe bowl. Cut in the butter and then microwave the mixture for 2 minutes in 40-second increments until the butter has melted. Stir until thoroughly combined.

3. In a medium bowl, combine the cocoa powder mixture with the sugar. Mix in the eggs and vanilla until well blended. Spread evenly in the prepared pan.

4. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with fudgy crumbs.

Steps for the Peanut Butter Layer:

Mix the peanut butter, powdered sugar and vanilla in a medium bowl. Spread evenly over the brownies, ensuring that no part is left exposed.

Note: At first, the peanut butter may be stiff, but it will soften due to the heat from the brownie layer.

Step for the Glaze:

1. Combine the cocoa powder, powdered sugar and canola oil in a small microwave-safe bowl. Cut in the butter and microwave for 2 minutes in 40-second increments until the butter has melted. Stir until thoroughly combined.

2. Spread the glaze evenly over the peanut butter, ensuring that no part is left exposed.

3. Place in the fridge and cool until set and firm.

Note: If you decide to serve your brownie before it has fully set, it will look something like this:

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I had fun

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Spinach and Mushroom Quiche

Quiches are often thought of as unhealthy, but that is a misconception. They contain dairy and protein - important parts of a balanced diet - and are rich sources of the energy that our bodies need in order to thrive. Furthermore, one can add any number of vegetables to a quiche, which is useful when cohabiting with picky eaters. Roman normally refuses to so much as touch spinache, but when it is presented as part of a quiche he never utters a single complaint. 💙

For the Crust:

1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup vegetable shortening

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 tablespoons cold water

For the Filling:

2 tablespoons margarine

1 1/2 cups sliced fresh mushrooms

1/2 cup shredded carrots

1/2 cup finely chopped green onions

2 minced garlic cloves

10oz frozen spinach, thawed and drained

3 eggs

15oz ricotta cheese

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Steps for the Crust:

1. Spoon flour into measuring cup and level. Combine flour and salt in a medium bowl. Cut in shortening using a pastry blender or similar instrument until all flour is blended to form pea-sized chunks. Sprinkle with water, 1 tablespoon at a time. Toss lightly with a fork until the dough will form into a ball. Divide the dough in half.

2. Press dough between your hands to form a 5″ diameter pancake. Flour both sides of dough and roll out on a wooden cutting board with a rolling pin until it is 1 inch larger than the upside-down pie plate. Carefully transfer crust to pie plate.

Steps for the Filling:

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.

2. In a medium skillet over medium heat, melt the margarine until it is bubbly. In the hot margarine, saute the mushrooms, carrots, green onions and garlic, 3 to 5 minutes until tender-crisp. Stir in the spinach and cook 1 minute longer, then remove the sauteed vegetables from heat.

3. In a medium bowl, beat the eggs. Stir in the ricotta, salt and nutmeg until well blended. Stir in vegetable mixture; mix well.

4. Pour the mixture into the pie shell.

5. Bake the quiche for 10 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 375 degrees F. Bake another 35 minutes until the filling is set and the crust is golden-brown.

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Strawberry Cinna-mint Muffins

It took a bit of creative experimentation to get this recipe exactly right, but anyone who knows me knows that I never settle for anything less than perfection! So when you bite into these delicious muffins, you know that you are tasting nothing less than the very best! ❤️

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 large eggs

1/3 cup half-n-half creamer

1 cup fresh strawberries, coarsely chopped, plus 6 extra, sliced in half, to decorate

2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint leaves, plus 12 small extra sprigs or leaves, to decorate

Steps:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line a standard 12-cup muffin tin with paper liners.

2. Sift the flour, then combine it with the baking powder, cinnamon and salt in a small bowl.

3. Beat the butter, sugar and vanilla in a medium bowl with an electric mixer on medium-high speed until the mixture is pale and creamy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating until blended after each addition.

4. Set the electric mixer to low speed and carefully add the dry ingredients a little at a time, alternating with the half-n-half. Stir in the strawberries and mint by hand.

5. Spoon the batter evenly into the 12 prepared muffin cups, filling each about 3/4 of the way full. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until golden brown and firm to the touch. Remove the tin from the oven and allow it to cool before removing the muffins.

6. Use the strawberry halves and remaining mint to decorate.

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Imitation Loganberry Pie

"Loganberry," for those who don't know, is the colloquial name for Rubus × loganobaccus, the fruit that is produced via the hybridization between Rubus ursinus, the North American Blackberry, and Rubus idaeus, the European Raspberry. The result is a tart but flavorful fruit that resembles a blackberry, but has a deep red flesh. It is sadly hard to come by in most stores, which is why I have devised a pie recipe that should evoke at least a semblance of what a true loganberry would taste like. 💙

For the double crust:

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

3/4 cups shortening

5 tablespoons cold water

For the filling:

2 cups fresh raspberries

2 cups fresh blackberries

1/4 cups granulated sugar

1/4 cup flour

1 tablespoons butter

1 tablespoon milk

1/2 teaspoon sugar

Steps:

1. Spoon flour into a measuring cup and level. Combine flour and salt in a medium bowl. Cut in shortening using a pastry blender or similar instrument until all flour is blended to form pea-sized chunks. Sprinkle with water, 1 tablespoon at a time. Toss lightly with a fork until the dough will form into a ball. Divide the dough in half. Set one half aside for step 6.

2. Press dough between your hands to form a 5″ diameter pancake. Flour both sides of dough and roll out on a wooden cutting board with a rolling pin until it is 1 inch larger than the upside-down pie plate. Carefully transfer crust to plate.

3. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Wash and dry raspberries and blackberries.

4. Combine berries, sugar, and flour. Pour into pieshell.

5. Cut butter into 1/4-1/2 tsp size pieces and arrange atop filling, evenly distanced.

6. Repeat step 2 with reserved dough. Moisten edges of crusts with water. Transfer top crust onto filled bottom crust. Crimp edges of the two crusts together and fold so that the edge of the top crust is under the edge of the bottom crust. Press a fork to secure.

7. Score top crust and brush with milk. Sprinkle sugar onto pie.

8.  Put pie in preheated oven and bake for 15 minutes. Lower oven temperature to 350 degrees and bake for another 30 minutes. Remove pie from oven and let cool on a wire rack. Be sure not to allow any less self-controlled Sides to touch it until after dinner.