saltonthebreeze

[saltonthebreeze]

Alright, ya piece of shit, you're gonna draw, I don't care where you have to restart, I don't care if it's gotta be a square or a circle, or an organic shape, enough of this, "I don't like how it looks" you've given up so many times just because you, "don't like how it works" you haven't improved and you're going to keep regressing if you don't just put the damn pencil to the page and actually KEEP IT. Now you forced yourself to type this out, so you're more likely to hold yourself accountable.

Current goals, ya piece of shit

- keep a drawing for once, God damn

- Finish a shitpost. You never care about a shitposts quality (between the legs shell jump - simpleflips)

[saltonthebreeze]

I figured it out.

The reason I can't draw

The reason I can never draw, y'know, aside from the lack of inspiration.

When I don't relax, it feels stiff like unworkable putty. Unfortunately, literally nothing can be happening, and I will STILL feel stressed, and sometimes if I feel particularly shit I just stop.

So NOW, everything feels stiff, gross, and ugly, AND I took such a long break that the few skills I did have are GONE. STOLEM.

I need to draw a shitpost... that usually gets me going

[saltonthebreeze]

My love language is Words of Affirmation, but I'm so insecure that I'll never believe you...

Oh well, too bad..

[saltonthebreeze]

Emotion of the day:

I've just been so tired this week, and I don't know why.

[saltonthebreeze]

Fuck it... I'm just gonna start drawing how I'm feeling but as my favorite characters. Maybe then I'll finally get some drawing practice.

First... whatever this is.

[saltonthebreeze]

I wanna rip apart reality like it's made of fuckin' wrapping paper.

[saltonthebreeze]

Just standing in the kitchen deciding what to fill the void with.

I don't feel like-

Yeah, no, I just don't feel like.

[saltonthebreeze]

Larval flatfish!

[saltonthebreeze]

So, I was watching a video when I got a Tumblr notification.

Chara Dreemurr now likes SM speedruns, and you can not change my mind.

we can't feel

[saltonthebreeze]

New threat unlocked: I will laminate your paper towels

[saltonthebreeze]

What did he (me) mean by this?

Hmmm...

This silence is really loud, and this time is very slow.

[saltonthebreeze]

Who was gonna tell me that fictional women would start hitting on my character if I played stardew?

I just want Krobus.

[saltonthebreeze]

Fuck it we're living off pasta.

I mean, I'm not afraid of carbs. I LOVE pasta. It's not exactly unhealthy, but it feels wrong somehow.

[saltonthebreeze]

Hmmm...

This silence is really loud, and this time is very slow.

[saltonthebreeze]

This flesh. It's ... limiting

3,000 calories per day and for what? To do literally nothing? To maintain 6' 1" 145 lbs while sitting?

Fuck this flesh!

... I should probably talk to a doctor about this.

[saltonthebreeze]

ON TODAY'S EPISODE OF OVERSTRESSING/OVERTHINKING ABOUT THINGS THAT DON'T MATTER:

Fugue state: a state where you forget all past experiences, leave, and usually create a temporary identity for yourself, "you" have no control over this. "You" are now Steve. Lasts a random amount of time days, months, or years. Caused by endangerment or stress. For example, if you have misophonia, someone could just bite into a cracker and suddenly you don't know who the fuck [insert your name] is and you don't know where you are. You move to Italy under your new identity, and 5 years later, you "snap back to reality." It's incredibly rare

Imagine you're aromantic, not at all interested in sexual relations, and your line of work is something with a somewhat loose schedule. You suddenly disappear, so everyone at your job is questioning where "you" are. Sure, "you" don't need to show up every day, but it's been a month. Suddenly, like four years later, you wake up halfway around the world, don't know where you are and you're married, with children, and whoever you were for the past four years was racist, homophobic, sexist, and apposed literally every view you had. Like, what do you do at that point? Whoever that was has been married to this person for up to four years and is, for lack of a better description, dead, and you have to somehow tell their spouse that you're you and cannot find them romantically or sexually attractive. The fuck do you do about the children, you're their parent, but you are not their parent, you're a completely different creature from what they know. What legal responsibilities would you have for what arguably weren't your decisions, and how do you move on from the consequences of being your literal polar opposite for 4 years.

[saltonthebreeze]

It's a good thing I'd never know if someone were flirting with me. Cause like, cool, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that information?