rhesusbaby

[rhesusbaby]

I want to eat a bowl of olives & mayonnaise intensely

[rhesusbaby]

Story Time

Why did I meet him?

So I had been fixating over this one guy but not in the way you'd expect. Sent feww stupid impulsive texts, still receive bouts of embarrassment from it that makes me feel like convoluting in on myself till I disappear.

It started from sorrow, jealousy & grief. Of course now that you've made a bridge with that, infatuation & hormones want to drive their car over that too cos it's easier to be at peace with hate & feeling inferior & unsafe if infatuation steps in. Wonder if that's the base of a Stockholm syndrome, tho most probably im wrong.

We met through family, he's stuying the same thing I am, he's in med school, a year above. And I'm coming in with a lot of pain, lotta baggage, lotta hurt of 7 yrs worth & before that meet up, I had been pretty much isolated as humanly possible (trauma response).

And everyday I woke up to breathe with the sole purpose: to be at peace with not only the past but ongoing pain, just to survive one little day more, when everything from the moment you woke up is pushing you to give up on that notion. God, why did I meet with him.

Well we sat down & struck a conversation. One part of my brain responsible for physical composure just begged the rest of my brain to pick up, if only on just a few social cues & respond as a normal person would, like one would expect from the human we just inhabited (jk). Cos this was not some rando meet up, it was through family, & that just amped up a bit of anxiety for this part of my brain that was responsible to not let anyone know even a whisper of something different about me when internally my mind was melting (I'm almost 99.9% sure there were structural changes to my brain), I completely lost my identity (you guys, don't take it for granted), & just simply living was extreme pain, & now the added burden of living a lie & schlapping the outards with a pristine coat of "everything is proper & good" paint, cos pretense of anything less is even worse than dying inside; all the while I'm being turned inside out, my mind being broken a bit less beyond repair, then building it up just to be completely broken again. How do I function? How do I perform? I'm not even a human.

Well here I'm just hopeful the puppetmaster would pull the right strings & hopefully I give appropriate reactions at the right time from the booklet of info we had gathered after the Wipeout to act like an extremely normal person who is extremely okay, make it out like a well adjusted individual & that's what everyone will remember, none the wiser.

Well back to the sitting & conversing. Atm we were trying to order & it was taking me a bit more time & my brain started going off with the "this is not normal, act normal" alarm but to my relieved surprise, it was taking him even longer to order. I deflated in relief, I was being normal if he's doing it too.

Then I wondered what's taking us so long, since the only option in the entire menu was just chocalate. One way or another we'll end up with a bunch of chocalate anyway (it was a restaurant based on chocolate you guys, it's literally called The Chocalate Room).

I came across a shake, some KitKat shake I think that I finally liked but I glossed over it, knowing he'd order that & it's just stupid to order two same things for the table.

I ordered. He ordered the KitKat shake.

And what does my unchecked mouth say next?

"I knew you'd order that", my mouth speaks. And the energy akin to the reaction "...uhhh" settles on the table. My brain goes off again, "do normal people tell eachother's premonitions out loud? Are premonitions normal?" nonetheless I hurriedly shut my mouth.

Next, we started discussing the different options related to the field, what's all out there etc.

And that's when he started laying blow after blow.

Stay tuned.

Will be continued...

[rhesusbaby]

I just found out Spider in german is Spinne & it's just the most endearing heartwarming thing that happened to me this month. I'd like to go to that instance in time when a lil kid on a winter morning saw a spider spinning & was like yes Spinne

[rhesusbaby]

Stitching Stitch being shady & cool

#embroidery #handmade #fashion #embroideryart #embroiderydesign #handembroidery #art #design #style #embroidered #cotton #bordado #crossstitch #sewing #designer #love #screenprinting #broderie #smallbusiness #embroiderylove #embroideryhoop #ethnicwear #modernembroidery #fashionblogger #clothing

[rhesusbaby]

Existence is pain indeed. My 3rd patch of hand embroidery as a noob to the beat of tabla

[rhesusbaby]

[rhesusbaby]

They’re streaming Coachella on WeChat in China and I’m losing my mind at this poor censor who was trying to move this black box around to censor the dancers’ asses while Megan Thee Stallion was performing “WAP.” Someone please find the clip and post it on here, I can’t explain how funny it was to watch this black box frantically bounce around from ass to ass while being controlled by a man desperately trying not to lose his job

[rhesusbaby]

[rhesusbaby]

Visible Mending

Introduction:

Visible mending is a decorative way to fix up an item. Instead of trying to make your mend as invisible as possible, the idea is to make it part of the garment's design.

Visual mending is not a single technique: it's more of a mindset. If you've got an item you love, it deserves to be mended, and if you're going to put that love into stitches, why not show them off?

That being said, there are some specific techniques that are popular with visible menders. Let's take a look!

Sashiko:

Sashiko is a type of traditional Japanese embroidery that is used to both decorate and reinforce fabric. In visible mending, sashiko is often used to cover up holes with patches or to reinforce thinning fabric. This technique uses a variation on the running stitch.

(Image source) [ID: sashiko stitch diagram: the distance between each stitch is 1/2 stitch in length.]

Some resources on sashiko:

SashiCo on YouTube: sashiko livestreams and information on the cultural aspect of sashiko.

Written tutorial by Upcycle Stitches.

Free sashiko templates by TheSpruceCrafts.

Fixing jeans with sashiko by Soluna Collective.

(Image source) [ID: three examples of sashiko embroidery on jeans fabric.]

(Image source) [ID: sashiko embroidery with white thread on blue jeans fabric.]

Embroidery:

Regular embroidery is also a popular technique to accentuate your mends. Check out my embroidery 101 post to learn how to get started. You can embroider patches, or use embroidery to hide or accentuate any stitches you've made to fix holes. Embroidery's also a great way to cover up stains.

(Image source) [ID: colourful embroidery floss covers a worn sleeve edge of a jeans jacket]

(Image source) [ID: colourful flower embroidery surrounds a hole in a pair of dark gray jeans. Fabric with a red and black flower print peaks out of the hole.]

Patches:

There are many ways to add patches to a garment. My tutorial on patches is a good place to start if you want to make custom-shaped patches to sew on top of your fabric. You can also sew your patch on the inside of your garment and have it peek out from beneath the hole you're trying to fix. Fun ideas for this are lace or superheroes.

(Image source) [ID: Spiderman peaking out of a rip in a pair of blue jeans.]

(Source) [ID: a red flannel heart-shaped elbow patch on a gray knitted sweater.]

Darning:

Darning is a technique used to repair holes in fabric by using running stitches to weave extra fabric over the hole as to fill it up again. While traditionally darning is done in an invisible way by using the same colour of thread as your fabric, you can also use contrasting colours to accentuate your fix. Check out this written tutorial on darning by TheSpruceCrafts.

(Image source) [ID: vintage instructions on how to darn a hole.]

(Image source) [ID: four examples of darning on blue fabric with colourful contrasting thread.]

Conclusion:

Visible mending is a creative way to fix up your clothes and give them some personality at the same time.

You should be proud of the fact that you took the time and learned the necessary skills needed to mend your clothes! Show off what you did!

A fun side effect of wearing these obvious mends is that people will notice them. They'll remember your fixes the next time they're faced with a hole in their wardrobe, and it will make them more likely to try it for themselves.

These are just a few ways to visibly mend your garments. Want more inspiration? Check out Pinterest or r/Visiblemending on Reddit.

[rhesusbaby]

COLORED HAIR BLOG 🍭 my hair dye recommendation: [x]

[rhesusbaby]

@the2headedcalf / On Love, Alain de Botton /  @tilthat / Céline Sciamma / Twitter: Nightshiftmp3 / Twitter: Thepartypope / Portrait of a Lady on Fire / The Clean House, Sarah Ruhl / The History of the Band-Aid / weird-facts.org / 

[rhesusbaby]

Embroidered Tarot Cards

Tarot Embroidery Magic on Etsy

[rhesusbaby]

This one won the Internet for me personally

[rhesusbaby]

What I mean when I say "toxic monogamy culture"

the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love

the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities

the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, you’re either inadequate or they’re too needy

the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else

the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity

the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship

the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on

the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life

the idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself

[rhesusbaby]

[rhesusbaby]

Exactly what I needed

[rhesusbaby]

I turned myself into someone I absolutely love. I light candles when I’m alone, I cook what I want for myself, I listen to music other people hate, and sometimes I even dance like a complete psychopath. I used to not cook with mushrooms because my ex hated them, I used to base my cleaning around when other people were coming over, I used to save the good wine for friends houses. But now I save the best for myself. I do what I want for me because I’m the most important one in my own life. Because what do we have if we can’t enjoy our own company?