rainysaturdaysaysstuff

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

Does she know i still have her adres in a special folder on my phone in case she needed me? Does she know how i think about all those moments we shared before we inevitably drifted apart? Does she know the way i love her still?

I hope she's well, even without me

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

I thought finding myself would come with some cathartic feeling. I didn't expect all this grief

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

Whenever someone tells me they have romantic feelings for me i'm just like "thanks 🙂 can you take it back?". Like babe i didn't order this...

(im trying to find comfort in humor, i feel like a bad person)

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

[gently holding the hands of those who mourn the loss of their dream futures after they realized they are aro] you're still allowed to do all those things you wanted. You can still find yourself a lifelong partner, you can still dedicate yourself to another person, you can still share your life with someone you deeply care about. You're allowed to date and you're allowed to be in relationships with people and you can still form those deep bonds without romantic attraction. You don't need romantic attraction to do all those fun couple-y things alloro people do. You're allowed to parttake in that fun if that's what you want to do.

You can still have your dream future. You just need someone who's willing to have it with you.

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

It's so endearing when a man cares for you. Like what do you mean you're late for work but you're still calling me because you promised to wake me up?? Go get ready??

And then he still talked to me for a bit and asked whether I had a good night's sleep, like bro...

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

I'm thinking about the end of Charybdis, how Odyseuss can finally see his home, after 20 years of suffering, he's finally home! I can just imagine how his knees almost gave out, how he cried quietly with relief.

But now the water is getting darker and so is the sky and the wind is whiping his hair around and why God why, his home is right there! If he streaches his hand enough he could almost feel the warm sand under his fingers. And now? Where is the storm taking him again?! Didn't he suffer enough?

And then he hears that voice. The one he sometimes hears in the wind and in his nightmares. And he knows, he can feel it in he's bones. If he isn't a monster yet, after this fight he will become one. He will get back to his wife even if his humanity is the price.

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

My god i honestly could talk for ages about Epic! It's not even funny

Like... The voices?? The people?? The acting?? What do you mean i can listen to it all for free?? Insane.

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

i was talking to my brother about being aroace and his literal reaction was "you're immune to it all, it's like a super power!" Said with absolut wonder. So yeah, we have super powers

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

Saying"look what you turned me into" as you torture a God who drowned your entire fleet with his own weapon is such a good line

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

I'm honestly so suprised by how many people answered to my post 🥹 it made my thoughts a bit clearer to hear other experiences but I'm still really confused about all this shit haha

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

I know this won't reach a lot of people, but aroace people, how did you know you were aro? I'm struggling with finding myself and i don't know what to do...

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

The worst feeling is not saying what you wanted to say because you were interrupted so many times and when you drop it no one asks what you wanted to say.

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

My mother is a good person but she has no understanding of how to be a good listener. She sometimes can sit and listen to me but most of the time I feel like I'm bothering her, but not in the way that she doesn't want to talk to me, it's more like she wishes I spoke faster and more to the point. But I can't concentrate if she constantly makes me lose my point because she interrupts me. This family doesn't know how to communicate in general and it makes me so frustrated. I don't know how to talk about this anymore because I told her this once after therapy and she got mad at me like it's my fault. It's like they don't want to understand that this way of communication made me think my point is unimportant in a lot of cases (my therapist told me that I might lose my point so quickly when someone interrupts me, not because I have trouble concentrating but because I was thought that if someone speaks over me it means that their words are more important. So I started forgetting what I was talking about).

God this is so complicated and hard to write about because my mother always taught me to speak my truth, even if my voice shakes and then couldn't listen to it.

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

God it's so weird how last week being home actually healed me and made me feel soo much better and now it's making me feel like shit again.

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

I like to think that out there, somewhere is something wonderful waiting for me.

It's just waiting for me to catch up

It's gonna get better.

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

I've been crying or feeling like crying everyday for the past week and I don't know what's going on anymore. I'm so fucking tired. I don't want to feel like this.

[rainysaturdaysaysstuff]

I have never felt this fucking alone and sad