poems-4-daze

[poems-4-daze]

The Words I’ll Never Get To Say.

I think I’m in love with you.

I know, you won’t believe this…

heck you may even

reject me.

But I don’t think I’ll ever find

a time to tell you

otherwise.

Time is such a funny concept,

Because the clock ticks by

too fast

When it comes to me

and you.

Yet, every little moment,

Small or large,

Time forgets to present itself.

The clock just stops,

As if nothing else in the world

Matters, and it’s just

Me and You

At a standstill.

You may see yourself as

An asshat, weird, awkward, annoying…

Etc….

But you don’t see yourself,

Through my eyes of roses,

Tinted and filtered perfectly,

To catch the yourself

In the golden glow

Of the setting sun.

Your beautiful brown eyes gleaming,

Reminding me of spring sunrises,

Early morning roasted coffee,

Made and shared between

The two of us.

The way you’re so

Passionate

About everything you

Love.

From the stories

You put on an ivory page,

Littered with words,

Dark as the onyx

night sky.

Taking me

through glittering worlds

unexplored,

On a magic carpet ride,

That are in your

brilliant mind.

And to

The bright lights of the

Stage,

As you draw the audience in

With your performances

Like a moth to a flame.

Only then do I realize that

My love for you is

the same.

Drawn to my shining

Light that is,

you.

Despite your otherworldly aura,

You come back down to earth

As you hug me.

your warm embrace…

gives me solace,

Peace….

You feel like finally

Coming home after a

Long day that’s been

Without rest.

Your warmth

takes away the

Negative thoughts that

Swim and circle in

My mind like piranhas

Drawn to the blood

Of their prey.

And your voice,

Is as comforting as

The rumble of

Thunder in the distance,

Wrapping around my

Heart like a fluffy blanket.

Your comforting words

Whispered in my ear,

Lulling me into

a soundless and

Wistful slumber.

But what happens

When I wake up,

Sitting there in a daze

As time begins again.

And the once bright lights

begin to fade,

the curtain

begins to close.

Immediately I feel

myself begin to

fall.

Plummeting into

The dark abyss.

Feeling the wings,

That you gave me,

Melt off my back,

Like Icarus.

So….

Will you catch me

At the bottom?

Or

Will you stand tall

Next to the sun,

As you mock down at me

as I desperately reach for

Your artisan hands

Meeting my demise.

I don’t know what the

Future holds,

But, I find myself

Sitting on your bedroom floor

Gazing up at you

As I hear the clock

Begin to

Tick

Again.

[poems-4-daze]

The Words I’ll Never Get To Say.

I think I’m in love with you.

I know, you won’t believe this…

heck you may even

reject me.

But I don’t think I’ll ever find

a time to tell you

otherwise.

Time is such a funny concept,

Because the clock ticks by

too fast

When it comes to me

and you.

Yet, every little moment,

Small or large,

Time forgets to present itself.

The clock just stops,

As if nothing else in the world

Matters, and it’s just

Me and You

At a standstill.

You may see yourself as

An asshat, weird, awkward, annoying…

Etc….

But you don’t see yourself,

Through my eyes of roses,

Tinted and filtered perfectly,

To catch the yourself

In the golden glow

Of the setting sun.

Your beautiful brown eyes gleaming,

Reminding me of spring sunrises,

Early morning roasted coffee,

Made and shared between

The two of us.

The way you’re so

Passionate

About everything you

Love.

From the stories

You put on an ivory page,

Littered with words,

Dark as the onyx

night sky.

Taking me

through glittering worlds

unexplored,

On a magic carpet ride,

That are in your

brilliant mind.

And to

The bright lights of the

Stage,

As you draw the audience in

With your performances

Like a moth to a flame.

Only then do I realize that

My love for you is

the same.

Drawn to my shining

Light that is,

you.

Despite your otherworldly aura,

You come back down to earth

As you hug me.

your warm embrace…

gives me solace,

Peace….

You feel like finally

Coming home after a

Long day that’s been

Without rest.

Your warmth

takes away the

Negative thoughts that

Swim and circle in

My mind like piranhas

Drawn to the blood

Of their prey.

And your voice,

Is as comforting as

The rumble of

Thunder in the distance,

Wrapping around my

Heart like a fluffy blanket.

Your comforting words

Whispered in my ear,

Lulling me into

a soundless and

Wistful slumber.

But what happens

When I wake up,

Sitting there in a daze

As time begins again.

And the once bright lights

begin to fade,

the curtain

begins to close.

Immediately I feel

myself begin to

fall.

Plummeting into

The dark abyss.

Feeling the wings,

That you gave me,

Melt off my back,

Like Icarus.

So….

Will you catch me

At the bottom?

Or

Will you stand tall

Next to the sun,

As you mock down at me

as I desperately reach for

Your artisan hands

Meeting my demise.

I don’t know what the

Future holds,

But, I find myself

Sitting on your bedroom floor

Gazing up at you

As I hear the clock

Begin to

Tick

Again.

[poems-4-daze]

Maybe shooting stars don’t work.

Because wishing for you is like

wishing for rain in a drought.

I’m wishing on falling stars

for you to get your shit together,

So we can figure out what it is

we are…

But I was taught

that patience is a virtue,

And good things

will come to those

That wait.

A trait that takes

practice,

time,

and Experience.

And here I am patiently waiting,

Sitting on your floor and looking up

At you

as if you held

The entire world

In the palm of your artisan hands.

Will you shatter my worldview

Or

Will you be the one who

Cherishes it?

I don’t know…

I can’t decipher if any good

Can be built between

The two of us.

But it would be beautiful.

Woven together like colorful threads

Of red and green

Opposite sides of

The color wheel, but

Complimentary to each other.

It would feel like running

Out of the car just to

Laugh

Sing

And dance with each other

As the rain comes

Cascading down

Soaking up our clothes

as Queen plays loudly

Through the car speakers.

And there we are

Being two idiots.

Not caring if the world

Sees or hears

Because

We are just

Two lost souls coming together

In an unpredictable

Union.

So I’ll keep wishing on falling stars,

Patiently waiting for you

to figure out

what it is

You

need.

But, don’t expect me

To be here when

Our time

Eventually

Runs Out.

But, I wouldn’t mind

If we wasted that time

Together,

Rather than

Apart.

[poems-4-daze]

Present

It’s funny

watching the time pass on

the antique Grandfather clock,

ticking away as it

sits in the same place he’s always been.

Collecting grey dust and

his brown luster fading from the sun,

Showing off his true age and wisdom.

I can’t help but

Believe that Grandfather

clock feels his pendulum warm

while thinking back

on our past.

Seeing me older,

as he’s watched me mature

into the young woman I’ve become.

In a way he raised me as his own.

Always making sure

I was on time for school,

my swim practices,

Job interviews,

And meetings.

To never be late.

To always be punctual.

It feels as if the time

he’s kept track all these years

has gone by too fast

for both our likings.

Grandfather clock always

watched over us, you know.

So it’s no surprise that he asks me

Where you are

or

How you’re doing.

It hurts me that

I can’t bring myself

to answer him.

Of course grandfather

is worried.

He watched over us

all the time when

we were children.

Like when we

Played house,

looked for fairies, or

When you saved me from

evil dragons..

I hope you know

That time I spent

with you felt like

time froze over.

It makes me wonder

If that was

Grandfather's doing,

his own way of telling

us that we would be together

in the long run.

That I was going to be

with you

forever

But I,

We,

took his blessing of time

for granted.

I continue to talk with Grandfather clock,

Avoiding his questions of and about you.

a few stray tears leave my eyes

Cascading down my face

Not going unnoticed by Grandfather clock.

I look at his time that reads 10:09

and I notice that Grandfather is smiling.

His own way of telling me that he knows.

Knows that you’re no longer by my side

like when we were children

or

when you promised me forever.

You’re really gone.

The ticking of Grandfather clock

Had finally stopped

Forever reading

the time 10:10

[poems-4-daze]

10 minutes

Before I walk into the room

I whisper to myself

“I know you.”

For reassurance,

Reminding myself that this

will lead to some kind of

conclusion.

I knock once,

Twice,

Three Times.

She answers.

I walk in and I’m instantly

Seated below her

As she sits on her throne.

I’m nothing but a peasant in her eyes.

She insists I speak first,

And I try to reason,

Speaking my truth with

Resonance

Trying to get through

To her.

But nothing resonates and instead

My words reverberate off of her.

My voice carries into silence.

I start to say to myself

“I knew you.”

As the conversation resumes

I recognize her less and less.

My once loud voice

Starts to dwindle

My voice no longer has the strength,

To try and reason with her.

She takes notice of this

and talks over me.

I’m nothing to her.

And I finally say

“I don’t know you.”

As the conversation dies

And all memories lost,

Everything I thought I knew

Was carried with the wind.

As I look up to meet her eyes

For the last time

I realize

I was talking to a wall,

The entire time.

[poems-4-daze]

Ghost

I can’t love you.

I just can’t.

Though every time our eyes meet, it feels like everything is in slow motion.

I say that it’s from the lack of sleep,

But it’s only when I’m with you.

I hate how I’ve started to notice your little quirks.

Like when you laugh at me, you hide your laugh with a cough.

When you get nervous, I’ve noticed that you rub the back of your neck

And your face is dusts with hints of red on the tips of your ears and cheeks.

When you smile at me or someone else,

your smile is a little bit crooked, but it suits you.

I hate how you were always there for me.

You hugged me when I had a bad day.

You would stay up late with me till I fell asleep.

You were there when I felt like I had no one.

I hate the fact that I know you don’t love me,

but I can’t stop the quick beat of my heart when you talk to me.

Every conversation we had

Lead to late night cries into my pillow at night.

You don’t know this.

And you can’t know this.

I don’t want to lose you,

Yet I want to risk everything for you, but

You can't know how much I truly care about you

Because I see the way you look at her…

Whenever she walks in a room,

Your eyes sparkle like stars in the night sky,

And I became envious.

Envious of the way her name falls from your lips like honey.

Envious that you’re wishing on every falling star

For her…

Even though I’m right in front of you.

Yet, You don’t see me…

This is why I hate you…

Because you were the one who made me this way…

All because I do,

love you.