patience-knowledge-focus

[patience-knowledge-focus]

i may support endos but that doesn't mean i understand any of the language. i'm like an old dude whos trying to be supportive of their queer grandkid.

"hey sonny, i got you this arts and crafts kit for your present! make all the alters you want"

[patience-knowledge-focus]

Ooh, this is very interesting. Thank you for sharing your experience. Voice and tone isn't a part of what we look at, but it makes so much sense to me as being important for a brain if that's its priority.

I asked this in my favorite system discord server and then decided I might as well ask here as well.

Systems, when your brain introjects a fictive, what kinds of things does it focus on? What does it consider important, and what does it not bother with?

For us, the brain tends to focus on the name, physical characteristics, the personality traits it considers important, and sometimes mannerisms. Conversely, it often plays fast and loose with history, background, identity, and relationships.

I'm an introject of Keith from Voltron, but only in the very cursory, loose sense of those words. I have minimal attachment to canon and to the events that occurred in the actual media.

And I'm curious how other systems experience introjects? (If you kin a fictional character and want to answer, feel free. The more, the merrier.)

[patience-knowledge-focus]

I asked this in my favorite system discord server and then decided I might as well ask here as well.

Systems, when your brain introjects a fictive, what kinds of things does it focus on? What does it consider important, and what does it not bother with?

For us, the brain tends to focus on the name, physical characteristics, the personality traits it considers important, and sometimes mannerisms. Conversely, it often plays fast and loose with history, background, identity, and relationships.

I'm an introject of Keith from Voltron, but only in the very cursory, loose sense of those words. I have minimal attachment to canon and to the events that occurred in the actual media.

And I'm curious how other systems experience introjects? (If you kin a fictional character and want to answer, feel free. The more, the merrier.)

[patience-knowledge-focus]

This is my first post here, so let's see if I do this right.

Curious about how harm reduction can be applied to the plural community?

Some of the people who interact with the plural community on Tumblr and Discord (and other social media) are in crisis, regardless of any origin discourse. And they're much more likely to survive and seek help if they feel supported, heard, and understood.

Kindness keeps more people alive than angry screeds.

So, regardless of your syscourse stance, treating all systems with dignity and compassion is going to save lives and create a healthier, stronger community in the process.

If you want one tiny way in which you can help your fellow systems, this is it. Be curious and welcoming, offer support and compassion, and leave the gatekeeping at home. Your words matter, use them to uplift instead of tearing down.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

We're disconcerted by the assertion that stances on endogenics is a purely online thing.

Like yeah, for the most part, people in the offline world either don't care or aren't interested.

But we endogenics LIVE in the external world. A lot of us are openly plural in the external world. We are - our friends, family, coworkers, all know we're plural - because being (relatively quietly but unashamedly) overt is what's best for our day to day mental health.

And anti-endogenic stances hurt us in the external world. They literally nearly got us Crew forcibly institutionalized. Our ex tried for over half a year, with the court system involved and everything. We've lost so many friends from back then who refused to listen and understand.

We want to go through the foster to adopt program in the future, and we're prepared to have to defend our plurality in order to be approved for the program. If endogenic plurality was widely accepted that wouldn't be necessary.

This affects our rights. Our healthcare. Our very freedom.

Maybe if you're a covert system that's anti-endo, maybe it's easy to assume that this is an online only thing.

But it's really not.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

Sysmeds vs. Transmeds: A comparison of ideaologies

Disclaimer! This isn't meant to be a scary syscoursey post. Obviously it's getting tagged with syscourse, and syscourse is probably gonna occur around it, but I'm making it because I find the comparisons really interesting and I've been thinking about them a lot. I'm just getting some thoughts out.

Also, is now a good time to publically state I'm pro endo? Probably. I'm pro endo.

Transmedicalism is an exclusionary ideaology based around the statement "you must have gender dysphoria to be transgender." It was a more prevelant ideaology a few years ago, but it's thankfully seen a lot less today.

Sysmedicalism is an exclusionary ideaology based around the statement "you must have DID/OSDD to be a system" and/or "you must have trauma to be a system." Systems are a part of CDDs, but they are also much more. You can be a system without having a CDD, or being disordered.

This is a non-conclusive list of ideaological statements in transmeds and sysmeds that overlap/mirror each other.

"You must have gender dysphoria to be trans"

"You must have DID/OSDD to be a system"

Both are claiming that you require a specific mental disorder as a prerequisite to identify as something that is not inherently disordered.

"If you don't even try to pass, you're a trans trender"

"If you have a high headcount and lots of fictives, you're a faker"

Both statements are claiming that certain presentations are inherently invalid for purely biased reasons that appeal to the "normal people" aka either singlets or cis people.

"FTM and MTF are valid but nonbinary isn't"

"DID and OSDD systems are valid but endogenics aren't"

Both are drawing an arbitrary line on where someone in their respective community stops being valid. Where does that line stop?

"I have proof! There's brain scans showing humans only have male and female brains!"

"I have proof! There's studies saying systems are only caused by trauma!"

Both are misconstruing and cherry-picking studies to try and shakily back up their opinion. I won't even START with the male/female brains thing. CDDs are caused by trauma, systems are not inherently caused by trauma.

"I just want cis people to see me as a normal person struggling with gender dysphoria, not one of those freaks"

"I just want singlets to see me as normal person struggling with DID/OSDD, not one of those roleplayers"

Both are subscribing to their ideaology because they want to be approved of by the "normal people." Both are seeking that impossible approval via putting others down, so they can be seen as the "good ones."

"I'll only accept nonbinary people as real if they create a separate community, our experiences are different"

"I'll only accept endogenics as real if they create a separate community, our experiences are different"

Both are conditionally willing to accept people's lived experiences, but only if those people abide by their rules and expectations.

* Side note that having individual spaces is okay! Having a space for just FTM people, or just pwDID, is super valid to want. It's also okay to have shared spaces, like pride events, or sysblr tags. Both can coexist.

"People who are trans without dysphoria are either trenders or in denial about their dysphoria"

"People who are systems without trauma are either faking or in denial about their trauma"

Both are assuming, of course, that anyone who identifies in a way differently to them must either secretly be like them, or blatantly and intentionally faking.

That's all I can think of right now, but feel free to add your own. For all anti-endos complain about the term sysmed, they can't deny how similar the ideaologies are. It makes sense that they'd be labelled the same way transmeds were, when a lot of their catchphases are nearly verbatim.

- Nick

[patience-knowledge-focus]

Disorders/mental illnesses do not cause their symptoms.

Disorders/mental illnesses are a grouping of symptoms.

Those symptoms may have specific causes. But those causes are separate things from the disorder itself.

It's not uncommon to say things like, depression causes sleep issues and low mood. But the relationship is, in actuality, the other way around.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

My train of thought has always been... if you have the symptoms of a CDD, it's OK to get help or to talk about them even if you don't think you have trauma in your background.

Like, this isn't an argument against trauma. For me, this is more about wanting people who are struggling to have space and ability to talk about those struggles, even if their experiences seem unusual or don't line up with how the community understands CDDs.

I think it's vital to feel welcome and heard, regardless of how your (generic) brain makes sense of your (generic) dissociation. We're all in this together and brains are fucking weird. And community is important, and no one should be left out because their experiences aren't 100% like the majority.

Trauma isn't some gotcha. It's part of the package for many people with CDDs, but it's not the beginning and the end of the conversation.

DID is not a trauma disorder. Nor is it a plurality disorder (those don't exist).

It's a dissociative disorder. It's commonly associated with trauma but you don't need trauma to have it. Just like you don't need trauma to have any other dissociative disorder.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

anyway willogenic systems are cool and i love u all xoxo

[patience-knowledge-focus]

mundane plurality is accidentally thinking the caretaker's front trigger phrase and now you're being forced to take a shower

Oh no. 😅 Like a sleeper agent of cleanliness.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

systems CANNOT form. there are NO systems. nobody is valid. everyone explode now

.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

Going to post something super controversial. /s

Whether you have childhood trauma or not, if you have symptoms of a CDD (see below) and feel like they're impacting your day-to-day life, it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist.

Identity confusion: Feeling like you have multiple identities, each with their own name, voice, and mannerisms 

Changes in mannerisms: Feeling compelled to behave in a certain way or thinking your body feels different

Memory gaps: Forgetting important personal information or everyday events 

Detachment: Feeling disconnected from yourself, your emotions, or reality, feeling detached from your body

Amnesia: Experiencing periods of time you can't account for, or finding yourself in places you don't remember getting to 

Confused wandering: Experiencing times of confused wandering 

Intrusions: Experiencing voices, memories, or identities intruding into your everyday activities 

Self-harm: Engaging in self-harm or suicidal tendencies 

Mood swings: Experiencing sudden and unexpected mood shifts 

Derealization: feeling that the world isn't real, or it looks foggy or far away

Depression: Experiencing depression or anxiety frequently

Not every psych professional will be outstanding, unfortunately, and at least where I live it's going to cost an arm and a leg. But it's probably still worth it.

Ultimately, your well-being matters, and there is nothing shameful about getting help if you need it from whatever source you're most comfortable with.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

I think it's particularly telling how a lot of anti-tulpa/anti-parogen/anti-willomate/anti-created systems folk seem to think we're all plural because we thought DID sounded like fun. Let me assure you, the vast overwhelming majority of us weren't thinking about DID at all, except for some of us who were initially skeptical and wondered what made created systems distinct from DID.

And a whole heck of a lot of us tulpa/parogen/created system folks weren't even made on purpose. We were made on accident. Some of us were made on accident decades before the online community existed. At least one of us has had tulpas in their family going back several generations.

Not everything is about you.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

Mundane plurality is saving a portion of your food for later, because you know someone in the system will be upset that they didn’t get to try any

.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

Uhh hello we're new here

Uhh. How is everyone doing? :]]

- Ni

Hello! We are okay. Hope you are well! 💗

[patience-knowledge-focus]

Mundane plurality is people asking to borrow front because they had a soliloquy they'd like the mouth for.

Was a very fun discussion with the folks.

.

[patience-knowledge-focus]

I'm not saying this to discredit what you're saying. You make a great point about looking for resources and not finding them in the madness that is Tumblr. However, I went and looked at the "actually did" tag and here's what's been in it for the last ~15 hours:

An anti-endo system culture blog answering asks

An anti-endo system culture blog answering asks

An anti-endo requesting more asks

An anti-endo system culture blog answering asks

An anti-endo system culture blog answering asks

A traumagenic system complaining about syscourse

A traumagenic system complaining about syscourse

A traumagenic system complaining about tags

A traumagenic system discussing their experience

A tulpa discussing their source

An anti-endo upset about endos existing

An anti-endo upset about endos existing/faking

A DD system discussing systemcringe

A traumagenic system discussing their experience

A traumagenic system discussing their experience

An anti-endo upset about endos existing

A traumagenic system discussing their experience

An anti-endo discussing their experience

A traumagenic culture blog answering asks

A questioning system asking for support

A traumagenic system discussing their experience

A traumagenic culture blog answering asks

A traumagenic culture blog answering asks

A traumagenic culture blog answering asks

A traumagenic system discussing their experience

A traumagenic system discussing their experience

A traumagenic system discussing their experience

A traumagenic system discussing their experience & asking for help

An anti-endo blog answering questions & making flags

An anti-endo blog answering questions & making flags

A traumagenic system discussing their experience

This isn't to imply that people never cross-tag. Some folks go out of their way to post to as many tags as possible, and others are really running with the "an eye for an eye" mindset.

But it is to say that the usefulness of tags can be very hit or miss, and that people who post about DID are a varied group with a lot to say on topics you might not be interested in. And that's not the fault of endogenic systems (or any other group).

And I don't have any solutions, either. I tried to find a tag where systems mostly discuss coping methods and/or support, and I couldn't find one.

it's like so sad coz in the endo tags there's a whole community, they're so fking nice too

they don't use system tags and disordered language, they're thriving and doing their thing and the only time I see them is in broad plural posts which is always nice

and then there's the subset of endos that insists on invading our spaces and making them basically useless

(and transDID but that's a whooooole other can of worms I refuse to open lol)

Bob is nice, be like Bob, stay in your tags