patience-knowledge-focus

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“Headmates need to be miserable all the time 24/7!!!” actually headmates need delicious homemade Mac-n-cheese

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You can only be a "willogenic" system if you have a sysmate named WILL or WILLOW end of discussion

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It's funny to me how people will go, "yeah, I can tell if someone's faking DID."

That's called stereotyping, and in almost every other context, it's a shitty thing to do. But here, it's fine. Trust me, bro, it's OK this time.

Don't try to guess at someone's mental health because that's rude, and you're probably wrong anyway.

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Now more than ever, Trump's policies are directly hurting people we love.

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

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Statistics in Discord

I've wanted to write this point for a little while because numbers are my jam, but recently, I've struggled to speak and write and needed help from fellow system members. And I didn't want to put them through the misery, so this post is late, but I like how it turned out.

In the last few weeks, I ran three polls in the system-centric server where I spend much of my time. The results were interesting enough that I wanted to share them (anonymously) with the syscourse/sysconversation community.

A little bit about the server first: it's a server for all systems, with little focus on origin and a strong social component. People there like chatting, gaming, and come from various places around the world.

Here are the server's top five system roles in order of popularity: hosts, littles, caregivers, protectors, and persecutors. Notably, people with created headmates were less likely to vibe with these roles.

When asked about the kinds of headmates people had, the diversity of answers was pleasantly stunning. Most systems had humans and human adjacent members, but almost everyone also reported having deities of some kind. Supernatural beings and therians also received numerous votes. Variety seems to be the normal here rather than an exception.

Finally, we asked about the origins of system members, only to discover that most systems had members of at least three different origins (as defined by the poll). The two most common were trauma and neurodivergence in their many forms. Daydreaming and creating one's fellow headmates came in close second.

One notable result about origins was that they make terrible predictors of a system's struggles and challenges, and tell you nothing about what a system might need to thrive.

These weren't scientific polls by any means, but the data itself was fascinating and spoke to the sheer variety of system experiences and understanding.

And it seems our brain wiring was created from copper sold by Ea-Nasir.

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I don’t actually respect all systems. If you’re running iOS or any operating system like that, please change your ways.

(Obligatory statement that this is a joke)

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This is the one thing I'm gonna post about this again but

Created systems are not your scapegoat to make you more palettable to anti-endos.

Throwing your siblings under the bus does not save you, it does not make you any more valid, it just makes you an asshole.

You don't win points for trying to appeal to people who already don't like you either by trying to step on someone else.

I ain't wanna see this pro-endo doesn't involve created system shit become more of an issue. Knock it off.

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Fact 1: There is a severe societal stigma against systems

Fact 2: Pro endos support the destigmatization of systems

Fact 3: Created “systems” further stigmatize systems by making it out to be a fun rp game.

Conclusion: supporting Created “systems” is not only not pro-endo, it’s actively anti system.

Fact 1: There is severe societal stigma against systems.

Opinion 1: Pro-endos support stigma against systems.

Fact 2: Pro-endos are often CDD systems in their own right, fighting for acceptance the same as any other CDD system. Particularly on tumblr, the endogenic community is niche, at best. The only difference between pro-endos who support created systems and those who don’t is respectability politics.

Opinion 2: Created systems stigmatize systemhood by turning it into an RP.

Fact 3: I put my parts into my writing and roleplay. It’s a valid therapy technique, one that’s helped me work out my trauma. Remarkably, not doing that didn’t make people fakeclaim me less. They just started fakeclaiming me for other reasons.

Created systems are not the reason why systems are looked down upon. They’re the latest target. Before created systems were as public, it was endogenic systems. Before it was endogenic systems, it was All Those Damn Teenagers Online. Before that, it was All Those Damn Fakers. Before that, it was DID systems who were too vocal about trauma, or RAMCOA systems, or-

Do you see how it never stops?

The issue is not the victims of the stigmatization. The issue is the people perpetuating the stigma. The issue is the bigots who hate systemhood, regardless of its presentation.

Anon, I beg of you to realize that you are currently doing the bigots jobs for them. You’re cutting off allies who support you because you think they’re supporting you the wrong way. If you keep cutting off allies because they’re bigotry’s latest target, one day, you won’t have any allies left.

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People who have been in online not-singlet spaces for ten years or more: what are some things that newbies most often get wrong?

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I was reading a post on Tumblr about whether a system can be family, and I thought to myself well, my system feels like a family, more so than my actual, biological family does.

I didn't want to derail someone else's post with my personal experience, so here it is instead.

It occurred to me that, when I was a child, parenting my caretaker (who was also a family member), I had minimal tools, no resources, and none of the necessary skills to pull it off. I was a child, I needed to be cared for, and I needed to learn a set of skills associated with creating and maintaining familial bonds before I could form a family of my own.

And I didn't get that opportunity until I was an adult, living away from my caretakers and finally able to breathe.

In comparison, my system mates are (by and large) all adults like me. Not only do we have some shared interests, but even when our interests differ, I now have the skills and resources to accommodate their wants or to talk through what we can reasonably achieve. Because we're close, we know each other well and can compromise in ways that I could never have done as a child. My system members feel like a family unit because we can work together toward goals, deconstruct or go around roadblocks, and share each other's joys.

Again, that kind of love and compassion was not available to me (and to Keith) when we were children in desperate need of it.

Like any family, my system mates and I sometimes disagree. We have different perspectives and needs; we want different outcomes. But we're collectively in therapy, we're learning to talk through our pain, and we can co-exist because of tools and skills we have now that we didn't back then. So, healing, for us, has helped us grow into a more cohesive family unit than any family I had as a kid.

And in some ways, my headmates and I are all part of some collective whole. We're shards that fit together up to a point, perhaps not perfectly or always, but enough to work stuff out.

To me, that's family.

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"I didn't experience childhood trauma"

Okay, then let me ask you about your flight or fight responses. Your fawning responses. Your OCD. Your fear of upsetting others. Your fear of abandonment. Your inability to speak back and up against family members and managers. The lack of your ability to defend yourself. Or, what about your constant defensive behavior? Your quick temper? Your habit of pushing people away from you? Your jump to think everyone is against you?

Even the most loving and financially stable home can cause trauma. Even good schools and good friends can cause trauma.

Life is full of traumatic moments, and we may not all respond the same way to similar events, but I think there is more to analyze about your childhood than you think.

A lot of behaviors we have most of us don't, and won't, realize are actually trauma responses until someone points it out.

I know it's bull to say EVERYONE has trauma, but, realistically? A ton of us do. The "little ts" as people put it. But, trauma is trauma. Some of us systems who think we didn't experience something early enough in our life to cause a CDD may be surprised later on down the road.

I won't ever push anyone to look for anything when they aren't ready. But, for those of you out there who like me never realized just how our childhood shaped us, good luck when you do uncover those signs. It's fuckin rough, but it is also freeing too. Healing has its ups and downs and ripping a bandaid off usually sucks.

Idk where I am going with this anymore.

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being friends w systems is nuts cuz youll have a guy in the friend group that goes away for a bit and comes back like "i got out of the nightmare loop" or "sorry i was gone i got put in the torment nexus" and its not even an exaggeration they really were in the nightmare loop or the torment nexus for a week and are forced to be normal about it

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Magic bug!

Millipede under UV light. Many species of arthropods fluoresce, or glow, under ultraviolet light due to due to fluorescent compounds in their exoskeletons. At least one millipede genus, motyxia, is actually bioluminescent, meaning it can produce light on its own.

🐛 b.seahphotography on IG

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being friends w systems is nuts cuz youll have a guy in the friend group that goes away for a bit and comes back like "i got out of the nightmare loop" or "sorry i was gone i got put in the torment nexus" and its not even an exaggeration they really were in the nightmare loop or the torment nexus for a week and are forced to be normal about it

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i may support endos but that doesn't mean i understand any of the language. i'm like an old dude whos trying to be supportive of their queer grandkid.

"hey sonny, i got you this arts and crafts kit for your present! make all the alters you want"

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Ooh, this is very interesting. Thank you for sharing your experience. Voice and tone isn't a part of what we look at, but it makes so much sense to me as being important for a brain if that's its priority.

I asked this in my favorite system discord server and then decided I might as well ask here as well.

Systems, when your brain introjects a fictive, what kinds of things does it focus on? What does it consider important, and what does it not bother with?

For us, the brain tends to focus on the name, physical characteristics, the personality traits it considers important, and sometimes mannerisms. Conversely, it often plays fast and loose with history, background, identity, and relationships.

I'm an introject of Keith from Voltron, but only in the very cursory, loose sense of those words. I have minimal attachment to canon and to the events that occurred in the actual media.

And I'm curious how other systems experience introjects? (If you kin a fictional character and want to answer, feel free. The more, the merrier.)

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I asked this in my favorite system discord server and then decided I might as well ask here as well.

Systems, when your brain introjects a fictive, what kinds of things does it focus on? What does it consider important, and what does it not bother with?

For us, the brain tends to focus on the name, physical characteristics, the personality traits it considers important, and sometimes mannerisms. Conversely, it often plays fast and loose with history, background, identity, and relationships.

I'm an introject of Keith from Voltron, but only in the very cursory, loose sense of those words. I have minimal attachment to canon and to the events that occurred in the actual media.

And I'm curious how other systems experience introjects? (If you kin a fictional character and want to answer, feel free. The more, the merrier.)