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Time for me to get back on my shit

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i need to become okay with the uncomfort of hunger again.

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Planning THE relapse is always fun, even bought a set of artistry xacto blades to get some ✨variety✨ going, and the sets of rules to make sure that you don’t continue to binge, the only sustenance from here on out is going to be new scars and the feral need to be skinny 🥰🤩

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Cutting weight or cvtting weight? Why choose? Just do both 🤪😅🙃

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The "You look so good" " I wish I was as tiny as you" bullshizniz, I'm not tiny and I won't be until I'm at 100, quit with those lies man.

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Sw 190 lbs

Cw 116.2

Lw 116.2

Gw: 115, 110, 105lbs

Ugw:100lbs

Going for dramatic that way the before and afters are so shocking

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The best feeling this holiday season was when my father said " I'm trying to figure our what size you are now" and " You look great and shouldn't lose anymore weight or you'll look sick" thanks for that but I still plan on losing 30 ish more lbs more and reach my ugw 🖤😁 I will be 99lbs

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Almost fainting is so amazing, I know that I’m on the right path and to continue when that happens! 🥰

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The fact that I don’t want to post body checks because I’m too embarrassed and disgusted with myself speaks volumes; a powerful motivator.

I will be skinny, and I will hit my ugw, no matter what.

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🖤335 cal shrimp alfredo

Cheat meal shrimp Alfredo, but I am still trying to be low cal about it. I will try and see if I can make it lower cal in the future though

Extra Virgin Olive oil for both noodles and the shrimp - 1/3tbs 20 cals

Pasta - 62 grams 200 cal

Shrimp - 3 oz - 70 cals

Alfredo sauce- 1/4th cup 45 cals

Season as you would like, but include cals from seasoning 🥰

Let me know if I should do more?

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Since I can’t cvt as easily right now without going on a grippy sock vacation. I’ll destroy myself by losing so much weight that I’m nothing, that I’m finally delicate and fragile. I need to be able to harm myself, and at least through this way, I will be pretty. To be thin is to be pretty and I’m really tired of being ugly.

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Here’s my progress for the week :) I feel so good having burned so many calories but there’s always more to burn! 😅🖤

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So far today

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The feeling you get when you vomit from running too much, and then immediately when done vomiting, continuing for five more minutes to make sure 🖤🖤🖤

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As someone who grew up playing lots of card games and games with numbers, counting calories is honestly so fun, it’s just another numbers game 😊

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Diet pills and laxities are a persons best friend 😊🖤

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When you order clothes in your desired size that way you constantly have a reminder of what you want and how much you need to lose