oddlywiredsoul

[oddlywiredsoul]

I am nothing without pretend

I know my flaws

I know how to live with them

I am nothing without giving love to people who need it the most

Even when it rips me apart

And leaves me bleeding out in the street

The cold pavement

Never felt more like home

I am nothing

But a warmth, when there's warmth to give

Nothing but the knives

That will find your throat eventually

You will never know me

Don't get comfortable with the silence

You know what's coming, don't you?

I am nothing, but a circle on your back

I trace it with my fingers

So gentle and light

It gives you hope and shivers

But for me, it's the most gut-wrenching sacrifice

I am nothing

Without these anchors

Nothing, without the heaviest words

And the heaviest of goodbyes

It eats at me

Until I'm as black as the nights

When I stay up talking to the moon

It wears your face.

- F.L.

[oddlywiredsoul]

There's an angle to this place

The sun hitting the wall, at the brink of your mind's solace

There's an angle you've never seen before

Some you will never see

You sit with it

There are levels to this pain

Valleys to leave it all behind

Everything you held on to, bled out in your hands

You forget, you can't leave claw marks on ghosts

Still, you sit with it

There's an old 6 stringer

With a splinter in the back

Lovely and daring

It cuts you open with every shift of air

The only thing, it has ever known, is a touch

Soft lingering, warmth unnoticed

Please, sit with it.

- F.L.

[oddlywiredsoul]

relationships and jobs are temporary. your shitty unpopular tumblr blog is forever

[oddlywiredsoul]

I've been laying here for a while.

With a cigarette between my lips and a knife turning in my diaphragm.

I'm not fighting the strings around my body that tie me to this bed.

I've surrendered to the flow of the river.

Not in a carpe diem way, but in a dead fish way.

Maybe I should call my therapist again. But to admit I can't pull myself out of it is to admit I need to be carried, and I've never really allowed that.

I haven't been to my father's grave in years.

Grief is eating me alive.

- F.L.

[oddlywiredsoul]

I'm just saying....every time I'm in a mood for a semi shitty movie, and Pete Davidson has a cameo in it, it gets 20 times better.

[oddlywiredsoul]

For one day,

to feel the sun on my face, and learn to live in my skin.

For one day,

to fit in the room, and feel I can hold on. One day without the walls closing in. One day to not fall through the floor.

For one day,

to fall in love, and have it be enough. To not have it sit in my throat, or spilling out of my veins.

- F.L.

[oddlywiredsoul]

stuck in the time loop but i just use it as a free day off. im not even trying to get out. i am teaching myself to knit. i am crocheting. i am cooking. not even doing anything crazy. just escaping capitalism for a week. day 375 and im not sure what lesson it's trying to teach but i've taught myself to handmake lace so all is well

[oddlywiredsoul]

My desperation to be loved led me to places I wouldn't wish on anyone.

[oddlywiredsoul]

#I'm just a chill guy

[oddlywiredsoul]

versaversa

TAG on ‘Archive’: https://scooby-doo-exploration.tumblr.com/archive

[oddlywiredsoul]

Sarajevska zima

Gledam ljude kako prolaze

Za njima samo tragovi u snijegu što će brzo nestati

Samo sjena onog što je nekad bilo tu

Sjena njihovih života i starih nadanja

Idu ka boljim stvarima

Drveće se povilo pod težinom, da li snijega il' spoznaje

Kao da zna kakve tajne kriju lica skrivena

Kao da čuje šapate ljudskih srca

I potrebu za blizinom

Ovo je vrijeme novih početaka

Bijeli jorgan je obavio nebo

Mi nikad straniji

Vrijeme nikad čudnije

-F.L.

[oddlywiredsoul]

Oda proljeću

Prošle su dve godine.

Dve godine otkad sjaj u suncu više ne vidim.

Nešto hladno je pokorilo moju dušu.

Zavuklo se duboko, neprimjetno, kao da čeka na nešto, na nekog.

Možda je vrijeme da me pusti.

Dve godine otkad 6 sati prođe kao vječnost.

Kad su prašnjava autobusna sjedišta upijala strah sa mojih leđa.

Možda bi bilo gore da sam znala šta me čeka.

Ko zna za šta je to dobro.

Da znaš da i dalje čuvam snimak tvog glasa, kad si pjevao moje ima kao najdražu pjesmu.

Sada je najvrjednija stvar koju posjedujem.

Prošle su dve godine otkad te u svakoj pjesmi nosim.

Dve godine otkad spoznah vriske svoga srca.

Počinjem ponovo da volim ove dane.

- F.L.

[oddlywiredsoul]

"Because the sunset, like survival, exists only on the verge of its own disappearing. To be gorgeous, you must first be seen, but to be seen allows you to be hunted."

- Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

[oddlywiredsoul]

Why do I only write good shit when I'm sad or in a depressive episode??

[oddlywiredsoul]

Been a while.

Sometimes I can see my mother as a little girl, playing in the flower field.

Sunrays in her locks.

Sometimes my heart breaks for her dreams.

Sometimes I reach for her in my sleep.

-F.L.

[oddlywiredsoul]

"The place you return to is always slightly different from the place you left. That’s the rule. It can never be exactly the same.”

- Haruki Murakami, Men Without Women