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[obscurewilde]

Alcoholic Daydreams

   Burn my throat to drain the memories that come to haunt me, the memories of sleepless nights fearing what would lurk outside my window. I see the figures that used to lurk in my childhood bedroom and once again they will find me. 

Dark figures that disappear within a glance, hidden within the smokes blur. I’ll shake my head and remind myself that i’m just tired and seeing things once more.  

I’ll walk back from the party still reeling from the noise, to be welcomed by the silence of the West Virginia woods as I imagine what lies behind the brush, whether it be a monster of myth or a monster of humanity. 

As I make my way back to my room, I hear the laugh of relatives passed as they see the cycle continue, drink to forget the things you see even if it means you hear them. 

Oh how the dead use the living, every cigarette reminds me of a moment and a memory. Still I’ll sit on that porch while they smoke while I ignore the eyes that stare back at me from past the treeline

[obscurewilde]

I overthink. I know I should stop thinking about everything so much. I want to capitulate what weighs heavy on my psyche. I want my mind to be unfettered by overthinking. There is not one thing as troubling as my very own thoughts. I regret thinking too much and feeling too deeply

[obscurewilde]

People. Well, just like yourself, they are a jumble of words and emotions and feelings.

They're ruthless, yes. They are monstrous. They're kind and loving and so much more.

You just have to look harder to find poetry written on someone's soul- their essence arranged in a tentative, delicate manner into a series of words.

[obscurewilde]

Nefelibata

(n.) lit. "Cloud walker"; one who lives in the cloud of their own imagination and dreams

I love to drift away into a world so wonderful that I forget all the hardships of the real dastardly world. The haunting melancholia no longer daunts me for that world is unequivocally perfect.

[obscurewilde]

I'm bad with words, I hope you're good in reading eyes.

I feel awefully lonely. And this feeling is so damn intimate. I'm a part of the crowd, I'm surrounded by so many people yet it's terrifyingly lonely. This isn't how it's supposed to be. This isn't how I imagined my life would be like but this is how it is.

[obscurewilde]

Hearts are often broken by words left unspoken. You will look at her across any room and think she's the most beautiful person you have ever seen but never actually tell her? Let her know how important she is to you. Let her know how beautiful she is. If you will never tell her, she will never know. She is beautiful.......and she needs to hear it. Let her know why you love her..... because she forgets that she is loved.

[obscurewilde]

Wandering on the streets ,one fine rainy night with no one but yourself. How beautiful does it sound? It's something I have always wanted to do and somehow it's one of my dearest wishes. I want to wander in the streets and let nothing escape my heed. I want to notice every small detail I used to overlook and cherish all of it for maybe I never really appreciated any of those tiny details. I want to live that moment as the tiny soothing droplets of water and the peaceful scent of the earth calms me down. The halcyon night and the serene surrounding will relax my soul as I wander in the street, living in the moment.

[obscurewilde]

𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒔𝒌 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅,

𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒍𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒔.

��� 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒔𝒚𝒄𝒉𝒆.

𝑻𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒆. 𝑰'𝒎 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓.

𝑻𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒉,

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒃𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒉.

𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖.

𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒚 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 , " 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅".

[obscurewilde]

You know this girl that causes a storm of emotions you are not ready to deal with ? With growing pain in your heart, you analyse yourself and consequently, you compare yourself to the girl standing in front of you. You feel that you are bruised and damaged .

She isn't.

You have a lot of trouble speaking your mind and building up your self confidence.

She doesn't.

As a matter of fact, the more time you spend around her, the more you realize that she is bursting with faith in herself and her dreams. You see how beautifully she carries her scars. She is an eternity of things other than just her beauty.

She is ardour, sadness, beauty, hope , bliss and stardust..all personified as a mortal. And you....You have always wanted to be made up of far more beautiful things than just chaos. You have always craved to be someone who wasn't damaged and broken.You have always wanted to be like her but do you realize that there is probably someone who admires you as if you are a goddess and wants to be just like you?

Don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe the things you want to change about yourself are the things that someone loves about you.