obscure-by-night

[obscure-by-night]

Realest song ever

I love nine inch nails

[obscure-by-night]

Oh hey, I forgot this account existed for a bit haha

Jesus my memory issues have been so bad these past

Idk few days? Week? I have no sense of time.

I’ve only been able to function at all because of the million alarms I have set throughout the day to tell me to wake up and eat food and shower and fucking breathe

Hell they don’t even work sometimes because I turn them off and then I forget again.

Of course I’ve been sleeping a lot. Still having those nightmares but after I wake up I forget what actually happened in them soon after.

I wonder how little I’ve left this room since I got here. I wonder how little contact with other life I’ve had since moving in.

Maybe I should try to leave the house.

Maybe. Although I hate that idea.

This cage I’ve made for myself may be mundane, but if everything is always the same then I can be safe.

Maybe I should at least try to talk with my roommates. Or maybe just the one I like.

Ugh dear GOD my throat is killing me too, these fucking coughing fits won’t let up.

I don’t know what else to say

God now that I think about it I don’t even know what compelled me to make this account

I guess I just needed some sort of outlet to vent this shit even if I’m just screaming into the void.

[obscure-by-night]

I had another one of those dreams, the really vivid ones.

It was raining hard, I was running to try and get out of it and found myself in a dense patch of woods. The trees seemed into lean in on me, but it kept me dry.

I stopped running and steadied my pace, continuing through the woods somewhat mindlessly. I didn’t know where I was or where I was going, but I wasn’t too distressed like a lot of other dreams. I was lost but I didn’t have that feeling of sinking dread from being lost, y’know?

I kept walking and walking and walking and I could feel my legs getting heavier but something in me wanted to keep moving, like I had somewhere to be but I didn’t know what that place was. My legs were growing tired from carrying me yet they kept up their momentum.

I could still hear the rain but I didn’t feel it, the woods seemed to keep getting denser the deeper in I went. It felt nice actually, safe almost. But suddenly I stopped and turned to my left. I didn’t know why, but I did. I starred off for a bit and suddenly my legs were carrying me again in this new direction.

My legs were really exhausted at this point but we’re pushing me farther than they were before. The rainfall was growing louder, and the trees began to losen their grip on me, it felt like the habitat itself was pushing me along this new direction.

Before the trees were so dense all I could see was foliage, but now bits and pieces of the dark sky began to seep their way through and I could feel droplets hitting my skin.

I kept moving forwards, I did not want to but I did. My clothes slowly became soaked through, it felt bad. It was so cold, I just wanted the trees to hold me sweetly again but they didn’t want me anymore.

As the trees continued to open up and become more sparse I started to make something out in the distance. As the forest floor moved me closer, I started to make out some sort of clearing surrounded by the forest on all sides.

It had over grown grass, some weeds and wildflowers, and what seemed to me a slight hill to it. It was completely empty, save a single tree. It was too dark for me to make it out properly but from afar it looked thin and twisted and dead.

Finally I had made my way to the tree line, and suddenly whatever force had been dragging me along ceased and I was left on my own to look upon the clearing. My eyes of course fell to the tree and I could tell what I was feeling. I knew exactly what it was.

I don’t understand why this is how it chose to present itself. It seems to shift itself between forms? Stages of being? To serve whatever purpose it may need in the moment. Or maybe it isn’t just one thing? I don’t know. I have no idea how it works, and frankly I don’t want to.

So I watched it, even though it was difficult. The darkness and the rain made it hard to make out, and even without those things it usually almost hurts to witness. The odd thing was though, it didn’t seem to hurt as bad that time, because even though I was watching it, I don’t think it was watching me.

I was baffled for a while over this until suddenly I could make out movement, someone came running through the trees about the opposite side of the clearing from me. They saw the tree, and hesitated before slowly approaching it, it seemed almost unwilling. I could tell now why it wasn’t watching me, because it was watching them.

As I said, this person(who I couldn’t make out at all besides a vague silhouette) seemed to be fighting against approaching it, their movements were rigid and they kept hesitating, as if they wanted to run away but couldn’t build up the strength. Then they fell to their knees and looked up to the tree. They couldn’t look at it for long before needing to look back down. They watched the ground, they may have been crying? I couldn’t tell, but they weren’t in good shape.

Suddenly, however, they looked back up, but not at the tree. They looked right at me. For a while, as I watched them, I almost forgot I was there. It stopped feeling like my dream and more like theirs. It took me a moment to understand why they were looking my way before understanding they were looking at me. And then I felt it. It was looking at me too.

And then I woke up.

It really was an odd dream.

[obscure-by-night]

Wow tumblr’s really rubbing it in huh?

Well update from the last post, I guess

I didn’t talk to him, my friend, I don’t want to bother him or idk be clingy?

Ughhh agoraphobia will be the death of me

[obscure-by-night]

I’ve been thinking about what happened earlier today.

I’m still not confident in what parts of it were and weren’t real.

I’ve been trying to calm myself down, there are explanations for what happened. He was talking about work, he’s a butcher apparently. I guess that could make the blood make more sense but there was a lot and being a butcher and working at a slaughterhouse are two very different things.

He could’ve been misspeaking, with a lot of the things he said. I don’t know where he’s from but he has a pretty strong accent, sounds slavic. His English isn’t always great so maybe I’m just looking too much into what he was saying. I think he was just genuinely trying to calm me down once he noticed me starting to dissociate, because looking back on it I totally was. God I feel bad, he’s just some dude about my age trying to live his life.

I don’t know how to get over the paranoia. I don’t know how to stop assuming the worst in everyone. I don’t know how to stop hating.

Well, I guess I don’t hate my other roommate. I think he’s the only person I don’t hate. I thought moving in with him would allow me to spend more time with him, but we practically haven’t spoken at all actually. He’s been busy and I’ve been isolating. I should try to talk to him tomorrow.

[obscure-by-night]

Ok I guess I will try to go over the events again and write them out

I was alone in the new house, for the first time since moving in, at least while I was awake. I decided to “get some fresh air” and leave my bedroom. I was in the kitchen, but I guess I got too comfortable because I didn’t notice the door start to open.

I hoped it would be-

Hm, I don’t know if I should share his name?

I hoped it would be my friend, but of course it’s that new roommate again. Actually, speaking of names, I’m not quite sure I remember that new roommate’s name.

He walked in and started talking at me, I think he said something about me actually being awake, I guess my friend must have told him about my narcolepsy thing. I don’t think I said much back, but then I looked up.

He was covered in blood.

I still don’t understand. Was that real? How could it be? He seemed so neutral and uncaring. Was I hallucinating?

No, no I couldn’t have been. He was saying something about work to try and explain it and then went into the bathroom and started taking his clothes off. Well, I could’ve been hallucinating, maybe it wasn’t blood but that’s just what I saw. He never mentioned that it was blood. I can’t quite remember what he said. I do remember him coming out of the bathroom in just his underwear, guess someone is already finding themselves quite comfortable in this house. It was so jarring I almost laughed. But I didn’t. What did I do?

I don’t remember, I think I tried to say something but couldn’t get any words out.

Oh, he noticed I was definitely out of it. Said something about making me tea? Yeah, he started the kettle, but he ran off right after so I just dumped it. I hate tea. I would’ve told him that but I felt like I couldn’t speak. I think I might’ve had a verbal shutdown.

Why did he run off? What happened?

Oh my god. He was

He was being nice to me? Like, trying to take care of me? I was trying to tell him I was fine, and he just bluntly told me “No you aren’t. Don’t lie to me.”

Lie to him. Don’t lie to him.

Holy shit. I remember what he said.

“You aren’t what you were, and you are safe here, I swear.”

What the fuck does that mean? How does he know that? Why is he trying to make me feel safe I’m a fucking stranger, good god. The fuck is that dude’s problem?? Who is he???

And then I just stood there in silence, because what the fuck, and he suddenly looks terrified like a child and apologizes and runs off. Yeah, that’s what fucking happened.

Who the fuck is this guy????

I tried to start working again but I still can’t even think

I’ve just been sitting in my room starring into nothing thoughtlessly

What even happened?

[obscure-by-night]

I tried to start working again but I still can’t even think

I’ve just been sitting in my room starring into nothing thoughtlessly

What even happened?

[obscure-by-night]

I

I don’t know what just happened.

[obscure-by-night]

Last night was.. interesting

I don’t normally sleep at night, that’s about the only time I’m awake. I sleep all throughout the day, typically about 11-15 hours because of the hypersomnia/narcolepsy.

So I was working last night, just minding my business, and then suddenly I hear screams. I wasn’t that phased by it, actually. Back at that house, my mom would often start screaming bloody murder in her sleep and I would have to wake her up to get it to stop. It used to scare me, but by now I’m pretty used to it.

So when I heard the screams, I didn’t react much at first, until I realized “Oh. I’m not in that house anymore. Screaming through the night isn’t normal.”

My next thought was maybe I was hallucinating? But I decided to listen in closer. I creeped up to my door and put my ear up to it, it was coming from one of the rooms. I was listening, and then suddenly it went quiet. And then I heard footsteps and a door open. It was that new roommate.

So apparently this new roommate has the same trait as my mom of screaming from nightmares. I know this dude hasn’t done anything wrong, but fuck I am really starting to hate him. I mean, I sorta feel bad. I hope he’s ok, I guess.

[obscure-by-night]

Oh god. Oh god. It’s close I know it is.

Fuck.

I fell asleep. I didn’t want to but I did, kinda just how narcolepsy works. I think I was extra exhausted from moving and the new roommate. It doesn’t matter though, I completely knocked out.

When I sleep, one of two things happen.

Either I don’t dream, or at least I don’t remember it, or I have horrific and vivid nightmares I can remember every part of. Sometimes they are more foggy, but other times I can barely tell them apart from reality. It took me a long time to learn, the more vivid they are, the closer it is. As I got older, as the dreams became more intense, it made it very apparent when it was close.

I haven’t had a dream that vivid in months, from what I can remember at least, although my memory isn’t one to particularly trust. I was feeling it before but now I really am, this isn’t paranoia I KNOW IT’S HERE.

I don’t understand how. How could it follow me? Why? What does it want from me?

God I was so fucking stupid for thinking I could run from it, why did I think this could end.

WHEN DOES IT END?

WHY WON’T THE WATER STOP BECKONING??

[obscure-by-night]

Well.

Apparently my paranoia is through the roof.

So, I just moved in to this new place right?

The plan originally was for me and a long distance friend to move in together, he offered because he knew I was struggling back at home.(of course I didn’t tell him the full details, I don’t want him involved with it )

I thought it would be a fresh start, that if I got farther away that dreadful droning would too. Maybe I could feel safe.

Well, plans changed. Rent split for two wasn’t quite in our price range, considering we both just got out of high school, so my friend suggested putting up an ad for a new roommate. I wasn’t happy about this, because GOD I hate strangers, but he was right. We are two broke teenagers, and this was the best option.

So I finally move into the place, and somehow this new roomie of ours is here first. Lovely.

I tried to hide out in my room, but apparently he wanted to make a good first impression, even though a good first impression with me would have been fucking off

I digress, he knocked on my door and I felt an electric shock of anxiety race through my whole body. Said something about making pancakes, I didn’t really care I just wanted him to leave so I took them without saying anything.

Oh, I tried the pancakes, and they’re shit. I doubt it’s poison or anything, they’re just burnt.

That guy is weird. I don’t know how to describe him. Skittish? Jumpy? I don’t know what his deal is, I hope he’s just anxious instead of a methhead or something.

[obscure-by-night]

I thought moving would help

A cheap shitty apartment, and I split the rent with two roommates

I can lock myself away in my room

And all would be ok

I’m out of that house

Out of that town

Gone from her, from them

From it.

At least I thought so

But why does it feel so close now?

When does it end?

[obscure-by-night]

PLEASE READ

This is a slenderverse roleplay blog, so NOTHING THAT HAPPENS IS REAL!! It is all fake. I will do my best to tag all triggers when mentioned, and all posts will include unreality warnings. As someone who experiences psychosis and ptsd, it is incredibly important to me that those who see my posts stay safe. If you ever see one of my posts and feel that I have mistagged it, not included proper trigger warnings, or if you feel the whole post itself is in bad taste, PLEASE inform me.

This account is run by a minor, however the character being played is 19 years old. Even though the character is of age, I AM NOT. I will be avoiding sexual topics and I ask that you are respectful of that as well. If not, you will be blocked and reported.

This account will contain mentions nsfw topics, not including sexual topics as I just stated. Topics may include: gore, violence, trauma, abuse, etc. This account will also go heavily into topics of mental illness, so please be careful and safe when interacting with my account if those topics are triggering for you.

This roleplay account corresponds with other accounts(see accounts below), which will provide more context to the full story. Feel free to interact with this account, I encourage it! I hope you all enjoy what is to come :)

Other accounts important for story: @the-graveyard-is-full, @the-curse-of-prometheus