not-me-being-a-dumbass

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

I love the person I'm becoming 🥰

Started a new job and I have to buy new clothes. My dream job might I add. I've gone down at least one size, almost annoyingly my clothes are too big for me to wear properly.

It's working, you don't know how fucking surreal this is...

I'll keep the updates to a minimum but I'm almost at my first gw. I've never weight my first gw. 7 more pounds and I'll have done something I've never done before. 💜 ily keep fighting

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

I lost weight trying to maintain 😃?

What in the Peter piper picked a mother fucking pickled pepper Is going on here?

It's mostly my fault to maintain weight I have to eat almost 3000 calories a day. After eating strictly 1000 calories a day that's freaking impossible, also who has the money for all that.

Hopefully it's because I was dying from fever and sickness but I'm trying to minimize loose skin. Why is it harder to maintain than to lose weight?

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

Goals fr fr 🙏🏾 manifesting so hard. Gotta stay consistent

going from a normal weight to being underweight is insane bcs so much changes like skinny privilege is a hundred percent real and that fact disturbs me so fucking much like wdym my stims at bmi 22 used to be annoying but now at bmi 14 stimming is suddenly adorable wdym my outfits never got complimented but when i wear the exact same thing now people want my wardrobe wdym carrying heavy things around was totally fine but now people ask if they can carry it for me and help like wdymmmmm

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

My dirty little secret....

My family's so uneducated on health, most not if all of the reason we're over weight. That I blatantly count calories, buy calorie safe foods, skip meals and exersize on an empty stomach all while getting my sibling to to do the same.

Obviously while not promoting my terrible habits but normal calorie counting and portion sizes.

On many occasions I've told them exactly how many calories I've eaten a day and shown them my cal tracking app with my deficit and they don't bat an eye. They don't know how many cals is too little for the human body.

But now I have a buddy. We fight our moms cooking and her excess of oils. We make our own meals and don't judge when we skip meals half portions. (Sibling is over 400 lbs I make sure they're deficit is 2000 cals per day)

I think this is the only reason I've been so consistent this time and it's actually pretty fun. Just hope they don't get smart and start Googling too much.

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

My delulu ass counting down to the end of the month. I haven't had my period yet 👀 am I, am I winning?

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

Guess who's crawling back!

So I'm not losing weight... it's been two weeks

Last week i was 282.4 from 282.7

Today im 282.0, it's not adding up, and I think I'm going to lose it 😀

I eat 1040 cals daily, on days I exersize 1150. I have a metabolism day at least once per week. I aim for 2000 but end up at like 1680 or 1800.

I do light exersize 3 times a week, walking 30 minutes on the treadmill and either legs, arms or abs.

I don't take supplements (I'm poor) and weigh myself once a week. So, can anyone explain what's going on. I've been in my deficit for 2 months. Helppppp

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

I have a disease,

and it's believing that I'm drop-dead gorgeous.

The most pretty, cute, lovable person to walk the earth.

And then realizing that everybody else doesn’t think the same....

No matter how cute I am now,

that doesn’t mean I fit the beauty standards. If I want to find love, I gotta suck it up and lock in.

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

*opens tumblr*

*reblogs 2944388828282838 posts*

*closes tumblr*

*starves self*

"mmm yes great morning"

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

Something unprecedented happened

I haven't been on Tumblr not because of binging guilt but the opposite. I've been so in my zone counting my little calories that I haven't been needing any motivation.

Results from October.... I lost 15 pounds

Bummer really hoped I'd loose waaaaay more and reach my first gw but it's okay technically that was 15 pounds in two weeks so maybe I'm not a total failure.

ily 💜 may your stomachs be empty and your waists be snatched.

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

Imagine having an Ed in an isekai manga 💀 like how am I supposed to Google the calories in a magic midevil village?

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

Can't wait until October is over so I can weigh myself 😩 I want to check my progress so bad. I feel like I'm being delusional when I look in the mirror like "I swear my collarbone did not look this good before"

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

I'm going to kill myself 🥲

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

I'm going to kill myself 🥲

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

4n4 breakfast, 260 cals

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

do you really want it?

or are you just going to keep eating… and eating…

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

Just wasted two eggs in rage and now im crying in my room.

At least I didn't binge, you ever been so hungry and finally get to eat. it was supposed to be my last 70 cals for the day and it wouldn't boil. I was so hangry I threw it in the trash. I calmed down and made another and it still didn't boil properly. I felt like I wanted to rip my hair out. Nothing else was going to cut it. I sat crying and panic googling avacado carbs and serving sizes and calculating a replacement meal only to find out nothing would satisfy me for 70 cals and I'd most likely end up binging. I sat there looking at my cal tracker after loging the potential replacement meal, 230 over my cal limit and said fuck it. I just won't eat, those cals aren't worth it. Yet I'm crying, I'm sitting here crying and hangry.

It's going to be hard, I kind of want it to be hard. Because... how much more understandable would I be if I was my gw, crying and hangry. People would be gentle, people wouldn't think it's disgusting. And I'm going to prove it to myself.

Within this year she'll be me, I'll reach my goal weight.

[not-me-being-a-dumbass]

Some of my favorite green Thinspo